my savior loves.

'our god is faithful
now blessed children, move your feet
dance before the lord'

do you ever have one of those days or weeks when you're just kinda in a rut and just kind of coasting through life and then a day when maybe you're just reflecting on life or listening to some music and you just feel overwhelmed with God's love and you just want to dance, like this quote says, or tell everyone how awesome and faithful your God is?

i love those days.
they're especially great after you've had an especially crappy day or someone's bringing you down.

i love days like today, somehow it was different.
just wish the weather was a little warmer :o)

'well i'm just capable of what i am. i'm making progress despite setbacks. well, i'm just looking to the skies. hoping for the best, wishing for everything.'

3 months.

93 days

97 days.

'is hold onto You and follow where You lead, where you're leading me. all that i can do is hold onto You and let You bring me through, it's all that i can do.

there are days i think i don't need You, there are days when i can't see the truth.
i need You to save me from the lies because every thought that's in my head and even when i draw my next breath, You knew it all before there was time.

when the waves begin to rise and all my hope fails in confidence i'll close my eyes, trusting You'll be there'

yeah me too.

snow....spring weather

umm....

this is how i've been feeling about some things lately:

i'm officially tired of people being jerks to me.

just because you're having a bad night doesn't mean you have to take it out on everyone around you and if you're busy doesn't mean that you have to be rude about telling someone you're busy.

i have this one "friend" that whenever i ask him for help with school work he flips out and acts like it's this huge inconvience for him then he promptly turns around and asks me for help with a different class...

seems like every day someone else decides to be a jerk and make things just that much harder for me.

7moredays7moredays than i can be away from you for 2 weeks.

7moredays

'don't believe me when i say i've got it down'

i'm at a loss for words
shocked.

there once was a day when things made sense
and when i could go to you for anything
and you truely cared

currently i'm sitting here in this room filled with cardboard-boxy-fruity smell.(and i can't say that i like it)
and my tummy is growling...even though i had a plate full of yummy spagetti (although i was craving taco bell)
i'm thinking about how i have a psych. test tomorrow that i don't exactally want to take. but get this. i took a 15 pt. quiz today in there (that i was unaware of and did not study for) but listen how well i did...i only missed 5 AND what's even more crazy is that if i hadn't changed two of my answers i would have only missed 3. THREE. TAKE THAT PSYCHOLOGY! i AM a genius. (talk about a boost of...not ego...uhm...smartness? yeah) heck yeah, that was freakin' amazing!
and i keep hitting the next button on my penguin covered ipod...cause nothing seems to be good enough for my ears tonight. (i need some new music to listen to.)
oh! i found something....mae, you never fail me.

yesterday i read a whole book in a day:
bradley hathaway's all the hits so far but don't expect too much
such an amazing man. good thoughts. wonderful poems. and it even came with a cd! (him reciting all his poems) good stuff. i recommend it.

tomorrow begins basketball season. excited? not really. but hopefully it'll be fun, i'll no longer be "filmstrip" i actually get to do something fun!

k bye now. i'll leave you with some words from mr. hathaway. (enjoy)

'only the lord can fully restore a heart destroyed by bitterness. it is not up to us to change the other's position or heart. it is not up to us to control the outcome of the situation. we are only to have a right heart in the matter. sometimes it will not work out as one hopes it should. ... when one is trapped in bitterness, he cannot wish the one who hurt him good because too much pain and selfishness are blocking his eyes. we don't have to be friends with everyone, but we do have to love everyone. bitterness cannot walk alongside love.'

[a.m.a.z.i.n.g.]

holly has the hiccups and they won't go away

what to do, what to do.

?

happy birthday to me!!

i'm 18 today!

'all that i can do is hold onto You and follow where You lead, where you're leading me. all that i can do is hold onto You and let You bring me through, it's all that i can do.

there are days i think i don't need You, there are days when i can't see the truth.
i need You to save me from the lies because every thought that's in my head and even when i draw my next breath, You knew it all before there was time.

when the waves begin to rise and all my hope fails in confidence i'll close my eyes, trusting You'll be there'

so...to say things have been rough would be an understatement.
i'm good at hiding it...maybe not such a good thing, eh?
really, it's nothing too horrible, i'm just extremly stressed and worried...
college is up there close to number one. then school...
but number one is what's getting me most...

my relationship with Him.
the ultimate, healer, father, most worthy, our unchangeable God.

talk about a broken heart.
you know those songs where the lyrics are something like "break my heart, oh God."?
yeah, i didn't even ask him to and he did. not that kind of "oh my boyfriend of *inseret random # here* years, months, days broke up with me." or the "i'll never find true love" broken heart...the kind of broken heart when he makes you realize what you need in your life. the kind that makes you realize he's been trying to get your attention for a long time now. the kind of broken heart when you understand.

that doubt i was talking about in my post a few days ago..it was Him.
i've doubted Him for awhile now...is He real? does He really love me? is He worth my time? why should i care?

are you kidding me, how selfish do i sound? how ridiculously self centered i am.
of course He's real.
of course He loves me...only He would after i've acted like this. only He would hold on to me after the way i've treated Him.
of course He's worth my time...anyone who will forgive such actions as mine is worth my time.

i should care because He does.

wow.
talk about an overwhelming realization of something so...unfathomable...

i can't really say what made me realize this. i can't really say what made me have so much doubt. and i can't really say what will happen from here.
but that's what so amazing about Him.
he knows all, what made me realize it, why i had doubt...and he knows everyday of my life and what will happen after this day.

'You see all my pain, You cry over it for hours till i'm new again'

i know where i want to go
i know what i want to be
i know who my real friends are
i know my family loves me
i know we're capable of loving
i know what i need to feel content
i know where my home is
i know that things are changing
i know that i'm growing up
i know what i need to do
i know i'm happy...excited...anticipating something wonderful
i know that i try to understand
i know i'm just a small being in this big world
i know i can accomplish anything i want
i know you're there for me
i know that i'm there for you
i know what i feel about anything there's reason to feel
i know that i miss you
i know i'm ready to take that first step

i know that there's something that i don't know: something is missing...
i know that i can't figure out what it is...

i know...doubt-?

'an aching inside speaking to me, how could i feel like this?'

i know the ache will fade
i know i'll find peace
i know it'll all be a-okay, john mayer says so

.i know.

well i home!
and i bet most of you didn't even know i was gone!!
haha.

and i def. wasn't expecting to have 5 comments here!! woooow. :-)

well i went to g-burg for fall break and had a wonderful time!
i also went and visited ut and i loooove it!!
so we'll see how this whole college thing rolls out. :-/

i hope you guys have an amazing week!!!

-holly

Your light broke through my night, restored exceeding joy. Your grace fell like rain and made this desert live...

You have turned my mourning into dancing
You have turned my sorrow into joy

You hand lifted me up. I stand on higher ground. Your praise rose in my heart and made this vally sing.

You have turned my mourning into dancing
You have turned my sorrow into joy

this is how we overcome

no thanks.
i'm not trying to be a downer about this band trip. but i'm really disapointed. boo.

so mom and dad say we can go on a cruise for spring break and i can take some friends.
yessssss.

that sounds much better.
:-)

'well i'm just capable of what i am. i'm making progress despite setbacks. well, i'm just looking to the skies. hoping for the best, wishing for everything.'

things have def. been better. but i suppose the only way to go now is up.

school's getting quite annoying. so are the people. but next week is homecoming, maybe it'll be exciting.

on the way to the game on friday night i ran over a turtle. :-( i felt horrible, but i went back to check on it and it looked okay, i was scared to move it (coulda been a snapping turtle) but after the game i found out that one of my neighboors saw it and moved it off the road.

well, i thought i'd make a real update on here, since i don't do that often.
have a great rest of the weekend!

-holl

it's what all the cool kids are doing!