Ok, I've been thinking about writing this for some time but was waiting for the right time. I think now is. So here it goes.
I've learned a lot in the past year. Things that I didn't necessarily want to learn the way I did but they were things I needed to learn. But, I can't blame the way I learned them on anyone but myself. We all have choices and decisions that we make. Some good and some bad. I've learned that I'm not who I once was. I've come a long way but still have a long way to go. My one problem is that I allow the my past to define who I am. I have found that I truly am my hardest critic. It is so much easier to say that I'm moving on and letting my past be just that my past then to actually walk that out. 
I remember very clearly what I chose to do on July 16th last year. I chose to do some things that I have yet to get over. I never want to find myself at that place again. I want this year to be different. I want God to take complete control of me and use me for Him. I want this year to be the point that I totally become all that God wants me to become. I really don't want my past to define me anymore. Pastor Steve was talking about how the battles we face are spiritual battles and how when we have done all that we can just to stand. Reggie Dabbs talked about standing against the "lions" in our lives. Not running from them but chasing them down and killing them. Not being moved. I will not let the choices that I've made to decide what I do from here on out. 
"I am a great sinner, but my God is a great Savior." - John Newton 
(I like the way they said it at church better.) "I am a great sinner, but my God is a Greater Savior."

So I thought I would write a note for all you wonderful people. I haven't really written anything in a while. It's basically going to be a snapshot of the past week or two. May 30: work May 31st: Went to MTHEA Graduation June 7: Grant's graduation Party June 8: Lindsey goes to church with us Yep, that's all that is going on with me. Church was pretty awesome. Reggie Dabbs came. He was funny. But at the same time, he had some really good stuff to say. I'm going to face my lion. Unfortunately, it's easier said then done but I'm doing pretty well. : )

I've been reading some very unique books lately. If any of you have read Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights you know what I mean. They make you think it such a....um, unusual way. I really think that the people that wrote them were not right in their head when they did. They have some misconcepts about....well, a lot of things. 

 I have been reading a book about apologetics. I've realized that I need to know more about things like that. I'm also gonna start reading "The Case for Christ" which seems like it will be really good book.  I've already read "Mere Christianity" but didn't like that all that much. I'm starting figure out exactly what I believe and why. I've realized working at Kohl's that the people I'm around will not always agree with what I believe. Which is ok. But, I want to make a mark on their life. I want them to know when they walk away that I'm different. I've always been around people who were "like minded" but now I'm not. It's pushing me to know withut a doubt what I believe kinda like what 1 Peter 3:15-16: "But in your hearts set apart Christ the Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed for their slander." That is my goal. 

 Revival at DFA has definitely helped that. I'm learning to lean on God more than anything else. Something Pastor Steve said on Sunday night really got me thinking. He said that we need to rend our hearts to open to God. We need to become so desperate for God that we can't live without Him. That's were I totally want to be. And I'm starting to get there. : ) 

I was going to write a blog yesterday about my Grandmother because it was her birthday and the first year without her on her birthday. But I decided to wait until the 28th to write that blog.

 

So instead I'm going to write about the Valentine's Day Ball. Here it goes.

 Febuary 9, 2008 was a beautiful day. It was clear and a light wind was blowing to make it a crisp day. We got to the Kelley home about 4:15 which was (amazingly) on time for us. Lindsey still wasn't home yet from work so I talked to Grant for a while until he had to get ready for work. Then I played with the little kids which was a lot of fun. Much to Grant's annoyance, we left (late) to meet the Davison's at Home depot. Once we got there we were amptly supplied with coffee and candy. We were soon on our way to the ball in a rather fast fashion. We were soon very close to our destination when we stopped at a near by Shell station to get our hoops on (which is quite interesting). So we actually only got lost once and we weren't lost really. The poor people at the Recreation center probably thought Mrs. Kelley was crazy. 

 When we got to the right place Grant escorted Lindsey and I into the building were we had to sign in and get our dance cards. Now the purpose of a dance card is to get it filled up with random people to dance with during the night. You aren't suppose to dance with the same guy more than once. I broke that rule. Of course I wasn't comfortable with random guys coming up to me but I soon got over that. I danced with everybody I knew except one guy. But he was a nice fellow so it was ok.

 Dancing was quite interesting. I must admit I think I was probably the shortest person there. I'm glad that I went to the Kelley's the night before to learn the dance. There was this one older man who wasn't very nice. I didn't like him.

 All and all, it was a very good night. The best dance was the Polka with Mr. Kelley. : ) 

So, I feel really tired at the moment! I haven't been feeling all that well so it doesn't help not to get enough sleep.

 

It's seems like it's been forever since I've posted anything on here so I thought I would do an update. Lets see....I was all this past week. I went to some friends house to make a 1861's ball gown. Do you know why? Because for some odd reason I'm going to a Confederate Valentine's day ball. And should I mention that I'm not a confederate? Well, I'm not. But I'm going just for the fun of it. Somehow last Saturday (the 26th) I called some friends to see about sewing a dress for this event and I ended up spending the whole week at their house!!!! I was only suppose to stay until Wednesday but sometimes things don't go as planned. I had a great time though! We did some really random things. But with the Wuest family, you always do random things. Which makes all the more fun. : ) I love that family!!!!!!

 

I've been thinking a lot about my Grandmother lately. It will be a year on the 28th since she has died. I really miss her right now. I think it's because it's so close to the time that she died that I've been thinking about it so much. I remember going to her funeral. I was fine until that Monday and sitting on the front row of the church with her picture right in front of me. I would have been fine if it wasn't for that. I didn't cry until that day and I haven't cried since. I don't know why but I'm not that emotional. Sometimes I think it would be good if I was one when it comes to things like this. I miss her. I also miss my cousins. Especially Kathleen. Maybe because she is my age. I need to call her. Or maybe she should call me this time. : P 

Prayer for a friend, by Casting Crowns

Lord, I lift my friend to You

I've done all that I know to do

I lift my friend to You

Complicated circumstances have clouded his view

Lord, I lift my friend to You

I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear

I pray for Your wisdom

oh, God, and a heart that's sincere

Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You

My best friend in the world

I know he means so much more to You

I want so much to help him

but this is something he has to do

And Lord, I lift my friend up to You

'Cause there's a way that seems so right to him

But You know where that leads

He's becoming a puppet of the world

too blind to see the strings

Lord, I lift my friend up to you

My friend up you You

Lord, I lift my friend to You

I've done all that I know to do

I lift my friend You 

Today I got floored. Yup, in one shot I was down! It struck me out of the blue. Well, not really but it did shock me that it happened. The pain of it happening was pretty extreme! I nearly cried. 

 

Here's how it happened. Me and Jar were trying our hardest to get out cat (Tom) out of the house and back into the garage. So, we came up with the idea of Jar chasing him down the hallway and then I would catch him at the other end. All went well until it got to the part of me catching him. You see, Tom runs hard and he has a hard head. So, when I stepped in front of him to catch him he rammed his little head into my leg which had a bruise on it. I went down. It was so painful. And I thought he was hurt but he went trotting past me like nothing had happened. I was totally floored. 

So, it's only Tuesday and I'm feel like this week has been going on forever! I don't know why. I'm not excited about this weekend maybe that is why. I have to do a craft show for my brother and it's gonna be cold and they say we can't bring a heater. : (

 

 I've been working at Kohl's a little bit ever since Thanksgiving. And amazingly I actually like it. I've always said that I would never work at Kohl's because my sister and Jarred both have worked there....Well, Jar is still working there. But I decided to work the day after Thanksgiving and I really enjoyed it. I think it's because I like the feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. I feel like I have accomplished something and that gives me a good feeling. Plus the people there seem to like me which is nice. : )

I'm the type of person that doesn't like change. I'm not sure why, I guess because when change happens I always expect it to bad. Not all change is bad. Lately though, it seems that the changes that are happening aren't the best in the world. I don't want some things to change. I like the way that things are. I like the friends I have. But my mom said something about things only being for a season. I guess that is true. Sometimes I think I'm the one that is changing. Which isn't such a bad thing. I'm becoming more sensitive to what people need. But at the same time, I'm become more aware of things I never knew about people. And I don't like it. I want things to stay just the way that they were. Maybe I'm just being ridicules. I'm not sure anymore.

 Anothering I notice is that I don't care about the same things anymore. I use to have certain things that I thought were so important and in a way they still are important, but just not for me. It's so weird. In someways I feel bad for it, but then I remember that it's ok to be different and change. 

 

Anyway, I'm going to end this now because it's kinda late and I've lost my train of thought because of Barney Fife. : P 

I'm not sure what this is going to be about I just feel like updating ya'll. 

 

I read something interesting on someone's blog that I knew. Here's what she said: "We live in a society where superficial friendships based purely on common interest rather than mutual care are the norm. Most people don't have the blessing of knowing what it is like to have someone who knows them well enough to notice the small changes of someone who is internalizing struggle." I thought that was interesting.

 

Anyway, Jarred is home! That's pretty exciting. I missed him a lot! Life is good.

 

I like this song so I thought I'd put the chorus up here:

today I feel like I'm just one mistake away

from you leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me

just how far the east is from the west

I can't bare see the man I've been

Come rising up in me again

In the arms of your mercy I find rest

Because you know just how far the east is from the west

One scared hand to the other 

 

 

 

It was awesome talking to you tonight!!! It made me think of the good old days! :)  I'm praying for you and I love you. And miss you. : ) And we are totally going to play on tractors on when you come and take a bunch of pictures too.

 

To the rest of you, call tyler. period. end of subject. no arguing.  

So, I went to the dentist today because my teeth are shifting from clenching them and because my mouth is so small. And she said that I will probably have to get braces. : (

 This makes me sad. I don't want braces. But I guess I will join Tyler and Grace and whoever else have braces. Oh drats.

  

Yes, my sister is now engaged. It actually wasn't that big of a shocked that she did. But still, I'm not sure that I like it. I am going to be in the wedding. I just think it's strange that my big sister is actually going to get married. Wow! She is getting married. Her ring is really pretty! But yeah, I'm going to put pictures at the end of this if it will work. : )

 His name is Jason. I haven't actually met him yet. But, will probably sometime soon. I have talked to him one time on the phone. He seems nice and ray says that he treats her good. Which makes me happy. 

photo from a_shining_star


photo from a_shining_star

Yes, Austin you are a inspiration for this post. : )

 

The question of what a good reason for breaking up would be. Here it goes. 

 

Is saying that you don't love that person anymore a reason to break up?

 I don't think so. Love isn't just a feeling but an action. Love is sacrificing and not always having things going in easy but sticking with it anyway. How can you honestly say that you don't love someone when you have been telling them that you did for so long? You can't. Unless, you didn't really love them in the first place. Oh yeah, you most likely were attracted to that person but you got tired of them and so you somehow think that is a valid reason for turning around and being a jerk (yes, I said jerk) to them. Somehow, their beautiy or handsomeness starts fading and you don't think that they are attractive or they aren't a challenge anymore. You don't have to try to get them to go out with you anymore and you find someone else who is is a challenge. Some else who will play the game with you. And yes, it is a game. ( I have a feeling this isn't going to make people happy) 

 

 The other question, Is saying that you don't like someone a reason to break up with someone?

 No, because you shouldn't have ever gotten into a relationship with them in the first place!!! What are you basing your relationship on? Are you basing it on how they look or what their personality? If you are, your stupid (yes, I mean that too). You should be looking at their character and their beliefs. And if you got into the relationship without first looking at these things, then you are abviously to immature to be in a relationship. If you don't like someone after a couple of months then why in the world would tell them that you loved them? Because, in all of these kind of relationships you do say that you love that person. 

 

 Well, I need to go so it's not really wrapped up all that much, but this will have to do.

 

Hey everyone,

 We just got a called from Jarred ( which isn't suppose to happen unless something is wrong) and he said that he is on his way to the hospital. Apparently, he got bit by a spider last Thursday and is just now going to the hospital. It's starting to turn black which isn't a good thing. So, for all of you could keep him your prayers that would be super-de-duper!!! Thanks! 

Tonight was my last mime practice...it was sad. I'm gonna miss all the kids but I think it's what I need to do. I had a pretty good time with all of them tonight! I got to help teach the pastor's kid...he's so awesome! He makes me want to laugh. But anyway, I'm gonna miss all my mimes. : ( I love you all! Thanks for the impact you have made on my life! 

 Here's a picture that makes me happy.

 

I heard something at church tonight and I thought I would post about it because I thought it was really good.

 The pastor said that we belong to the Body of Chris and when we criticize each other that we are cutting off a part of our body. Like when we criticize someone  who isn't as smart or doesn't have a certain gift like we do we are saying that we don't need them and they don't matter. And I guess I've never thought about it that much but it is true. When we put someone down we are saying (whether we realize it or not) that person is useless in the Body of Christ. Plus it really hurts that person more then we even realize. God has called all of us to work together and love one another and support each other. I think we all sometimes forget that and we think that we can just say whatever we want and not effect anyone (read 1 Cor. 12:12-27).

  I just felt the need to post this. I just want to encourage all of you to try not to put each other down. I'm guilty of this too, so I'm not trying to get on anyone. I needed to hear this sermom as much as everybody else. 

 Well, I'm gonna go. I hope ya'll are doing good.  

This is a funny video Lane sent me. : )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!!! YAY ME!!! WHO'S THE BIG MAN NOW?!!!!!! OH YEAH!! ALL UP IN YOUR FACE, I OWN THIS SPACE!!!! BOOYAH!!! CLICK CLACK!!!!  CAN YOU FEEL THIS?!!!! 
(THAT'S FOR YOU GRACE : P )
(BTW, JARRED WROTE THE TOP PART OF THIS!)

Hey, just wanted to let everyone know that I'm home and ok. I appreciate all of your prayers...and I ask that you keep praying for me and my family. I have some really awesome friends. Thanks so much everyone!!!!!!!!!! 

Make your own Windorph

This is done to the song Everything, By LifehouseIt reminds of Redeemed except cooler. : ) 

I'm happy. I just stole a bunch of my brother's music! : ) It's some good music. I like music...
My head hurts. I like cantalope! It's good. : ) I'm going to get to see most of the mimes on monday! That shall be fun. : P 

Fill this out in YOUR OWN WORDS 1. Where did you take your default pic? Outside2. What exactly are you wearing right now? My old black dance shirt, and cut-off shorts.  3. What is your current problem? Figuring out my problem....4. What makes you most happy? Beats me! I've never really thought about it.    5. What’s the name of the song that you're listening to? Definitely Maybe, FM Static 6. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away? Kinda.7. Do you ever watch MTV?? Nope never...8. What’s something that really annoys you? People talking down to me....it drives me crazyChapter 1: 1. Middle name: Lydia 2. Nickname(s): tammo, tammodia, tam, tuts, tamier, lyd,  3. Current place? living room. 4. Eye color: brown ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 2: 1. Do you live with your parents? Yes  2. Do you get along with your parent(s)? Most often...At least I think so. 3. Are your parent’s married/separated/divorced? Married4. Do you have any Siblings? 2 brothers, and 1 sister (i'm thinking about trading her in for someone else though, come to think of it, I think I'll trade them all in :P )Chapter 3: Favorite... 1. Ice Cream: Vanille2. Season: SpringChapter 4: Do You.. 1. Write on your hand: sometimes...not very often...I write on others hands. 2. Call people back: of course3. Believe in love: Oh Yes 4. Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Nope.5. Have any bad habits? : ) Maybe a few6. Any mental health issues? nope, I'm a smart kid.Chapter 5: Have You.... 1. Broken a bone: cracked my growth plate...not sure if that counts2. Bought new stuff in the last two weeks: I don't think so...maybe....my mom would know.  3. Had physical therapy?: yup, I hate it.  4. Gotten stitches: no..5. Taken painkillers? uh....I don't remember 6. Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling: no, maybe one day. 7. Been stung by a bee? yeah, I hate them.8. Thrown up at the dentist: ewww...that's kinda disgusting...not me.    9. Ever sworn in front of your parental? uh, no. 0. Had detention: nope.11. Been sent to the principal's office? maybe...12. Been suspended: once or twice...Chapter 6: Who/What was the last 1. Movie(s) you watched?: Uh....I don't know.   2. Person to text you: I don't text people  3. Person you called: My dad......I think  4. Person you hugged? My dad 5. Last person you tackled: probably jar 6. Thing you touched: the keyboard...duh. 7. Thing you ate: pasta that my mom made...it's good.  8. Thing you drank: water...9. Time you cried: I don't know. 10. Wished on a star: a few days ago....