fun times
good times

i have to be silent.i have to keep my mouth quiet, i have to keep my lips closed. no words can slip out, no screams can escape, no tears can fall from my eyes, no fast beating heart can be heard. i have to be silent.

i have to be still. i cant huge, i cant reach for a hand, i cant lock eyes. no running with joy to welcome, no extra big smiles, no walking alone to talk. i have to be still.

i have to be calm. no wondering thoughts, no worring, no stressing what others think. no fights, no crying, no wanting for something i cant have. i have to be calm.

 

just feel like writing.

 

Some people cry for no reason.

Some people smile because they feel like it.

Some people love with all their heart.

Some people hate for fear of love and pain.

Some people run away from their fears.

Some people face their fears.

Some people miss others.

Some people never get close enough to miss someone.

 *****

he sees her from a far, he can see her beauty from a distance. He can see her laugh and remembers how he used to love hearing her laugh. He looks away in fear she will catch him watching and wishing to have her back. But he cant help himself for he finds himself watching her goof off with her friends. 

she looks up and locks eyes with him. (all the while laughing) her laughter stopped but niether of them looked away. His thoughts along the lines of how badly he messed up with letting her go. and her thoughts along the lines of how much it hurt when he pushed her away but how much she misses him still.

he looks away and she realiZes who he was talking to..a bunch of little girls. her heart sank, because for a moment she thought maybe just maybe he still liked her. what she didn't know was he was deeply in love with her but he was to scared to hurt her perfectly amaZing heart again. he didn't trust himself to keep her safe so he stayed away in hopes to keep her safe.

 

random, i'm just really bored.

 

 

hey people. whats up? hows life?

 

Nothing much here..well there is alot but i know you people dont care so i'm not gonna write it all down. no point.

well i'm just gonna talk about today

...today was long and now it is time for me to sleep. but at the moment i'm just chilling, messing around on myspace, talking to steele, thinking about not wanting to wake up in the morning,i'm super freakin excited about the memphis trip!!!! we leave tomorrow afternoon! HECK YES!..and thats about it. yeah i know tonight is a real party for me. well hope you guys are doing well.

love ya.

I'm bored and feeling like writing. I also feel like being heard.

Why do we help those that hurt us the most? Why do we lose ourselves in trying to help others find themself? Why do we have many many sleepless nights helping and praying for others when they dont do one small thing as say hey to you? Why do we love those who dont love us back?

Its because we know who they are. Its because we want the best for them even if they dont want it for us. Its because we see the light in their eyes even if they have yet to see it. Its because we know one day when their world comes crashing down they know they can come to us for help.

And that is why the way we are is the way we are.

ha i got on her after not being on her for a few weeks and didn't read half the lovelyness you people wrote. lol sorry. anyhow i'm with carmen all the stuff we put on her these days is no fun, it doesn't make me LOL if you know what i mean. SO i felt i should say something random to lighten up the darkness...lets see....something random.....i think this is the first time i've blanked at something random to say...____ how sad is that! well sorry i couldn't help lighten up the darkness, maybe next time.

ha love. its a joke..why cant we realiZe that..we are kids.

love..what is it?

where does it come from?

who is my love ment for?

What does it feel like?

..

yes we all have these questions.

BUT we dont need the answers

..

at least not yet.

you think you know me, but you dont

you think you can help me, but you cant

you think its gonna be okay, but your wrong

you think your better then me, but your not

time is to short.

life can be taken in a matter of moments without worrning.

we can get a call in 2seconds that would change our whole world.

we laugh it up now but for a moment can we take in that one of our own has been taken. can we stop our busy lives that we are so wrapped up in and open our eyes to see that a life has been taken, a heart has stopped beating, air no longer flows through their body. can we realiZe that we will never look into his eyes again, that we will never hear his laugh, we will never see that bright and vibrant smile, we will never see him again (until heaven that is).for now the body as we know it is laying under the cold ground and his soul is in heaven.

lets all take a moment and realiZe we must be nicer people for we never know when someone will pass away. always say something kind to someone for what if when they walked away from you or hung up the phone and something happened and they were killed. how would you live with yourself if you had just said something mean, or hurting to them. think about it, life is short, not just for you but for everyone around you!

all this to say. LOVE people say LOVING things b/c we never know whats going to happen

something i put together

stop laughing

...

that wasn't a joke.

okay so i've been feeling like i cant do much for the word seeing i'm only 15 and not out of high school but i found Feed Just One on myspace and thought i'm sure i can get my friends to help me out to feed just one! all we have to do is buy a t-shirt or anything from their web sit and i know you guys spend up to $30 on clothes at A.E. or some high dollar place and you do the world no good, if you buy a $18 t-shirt from Feed Just One you can feed a starving child 100 meals.

Here is some info on Feed Just One. PLEASE just read this. i think we can do a lot of amaZing things...but sometimes we just have to start small. So yeah PLEASE read this and send it to your friends even if you cant buy anything.


Feed Just One is simply myself, Dallas Harris, and my friends doing everything we possibly can to make a difference in the world.


We don't have any corporate sponsors or any investors to fund our efforts. Everything we have done so far has been funded out of our own pockets and we have yet to make a single cent of profit for ourselves.


We want to let you know all of this because we want you to know that we are very much like you. We work, we go to school, we don't have a lot of money and we want to change the world.


We want to let you know that you can truly make a difference for as little as 4 cents a day or by simply buying one of our t-shirts.


Please seriously consider being a part of our little mission to change the world.
We can't do it without you!



its super freakin easy....

You can provide a meal to a starving child through Feed Just One for only 4 cents. We cover the shipping cost to get Feed My Starving Children's food to the people who need it. One meal a day costs just 28 cents a week, $1.20 a month or $14.60 a year.


by buying 1 t-shirt you will provide 100 meals and the publicity will bring another person to buy a t-shirt meaning another 100 meals...you get where i'm going with this!

i'm sending messages to all my friends hoping maybe just one of them will take the small step of buying a cool t-shirt to feed hungry children!
Feed Just One's myspace is

http://www. myspace. com/useyourcents

seems like no one uses this anymore. well just thought i would tell the people that do use it...i hope you have a nide DAY!smile..alot!! and love Jesus no matter what comes your way TOday. (why do i say 'today'?....i want to make it clear that you should probably live in TOday, not tomorrow, not in a week, not in a month...but in TOday!!)well love you and hope to speak with you soon.

Warrior - Nellya tight song.

i'm bored and feel like writing.

 

    seems to me that most humans write about life. How it sucks, how it rocks, how its sad or happy, its life you can say anything good or bad about it..its still life in the end.

    seems to me we (as humans) are blinded by the bad b/c thats what we are taught to look at and focus on. We never hear about the good in the news, we hardly ever see people helping people in our day to day lives. And when i try to look at the good and listen for the happy, i'm put down and told to worry, or be scared of something. its stupid

   Seems like everyone lives in the future, no one lives in the now. People are always worrying, alway wanting something to happen 'in the near future'! and i'm like STOP FREAKING ABOUT LATER AND LOOK AT WHATS IN FRONT OF YOU DANGIT! stop wishing for the "near future" whenever that is and work toward the NOW!!!!! Stop telling me you cant help but worry and stop making up reasons why I should worry! STOP ! living in the here and now is...no words can make you understand how much easier and how much more fun it is living in the now then living in the future.

   Seems to me like no one will let happy be happy. they always have to find SOMETHING wrong, it can be the smallest thing and they will blow it up so they take your happiness. Why cant people leave well enough alone? Just let the happy be happy.

 

well thats my rant for the night.

peace

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know that feeling you get when you just found out you've won the BIG game, the feeling you get when you see someone you've missed for so long, you know the feeling when you open Christmas presents, you know that feeling that rushes over you when you lock eyes with the one you like. You get where I'm going with this feelings thing right, the feeling that falls over you, that makes your heart stop, that makes you feel like your falling through the air and you've lost your stomach, and that just plain and simply takes your breath away. I felt that feeling when he rapped his arms around me, when he was just inches away. I felt so safe yet so scared, safe from the world but scared of my heart being broken b/c he held it in his strong hands. So warm yet so cold, warm on the inside b/c he was holding me, cold from the last person who held me and afraid this warmth wouldn't last. Scared that I would soon get cold like the last time when the last guy let go. I wasn't confused but my head was spinning.

Look what a simple hug can do. Yet he has no idea that such a simple thing had such a big impact.

SHINE YOUR LIGHT AND LET THE WHOLE WORLD SEE

 

its funny to watch people change. its funny to see how they like to push in your face they are more happy with out you then they were with you. its funny to sit back and think wow i put so much into them for so many years yet now they say they couldn't care less. its funny to feel forgotten and not needed.

its funny...laugh

i'm home!!! PARTY!!!!!! text or call me, i'm ready to get out and party with my peoples! Love and miss you guys