this is for one person and one person only.  i don't mind if you read it, but it's only directed to one person...if they decide to care.

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I now know how it feels to lose a best friend.  (Me and Tyler are still best friends, don't worry.)  But, I'm talking about someone else.  Sometimes, I wonder if he has any idea how much I used to look up to him and how I still wish I could.  Or how I loved talking to him and if he gave me the chance again, I would be so happy?  Or that I told him things I'd never told anyone else before?  And do you know why I did?  because I trusted him, with the utmost faith that he would never let me fall.  And he didn't.  It's almost like I slipped through his fingers and it's not that he didn't want  to catch me, he just didn't quite realize that I was slowly falling.  And now, I'm too far away from him and the only way I can be pulled back onto the boat is if he throws me a life jacket.  I think he trusted me, too.  Sometimes I don't know.  All I know is that I DO miss him.  And honestly, I'm having an extremely hard time knowing that all I seem to do is want to fight with him.  It's not that I'm mad, I'm just bitter and hurt.  I hope he didn't mean to push me away.  I think he's better than that, but now that I'm lost at sea, he won't throw me a life ring!  I need him to help me.  I miss his friendship so much and ALL I want at this moment is just to talk like we used to.  Just hang out like we used to, just be friends again.  Because I miss him.  And if you don't know who this is to, don't worry about it.  But I hope my friend is reading this.  If he is, I want him to know that these words are my heart yelling to him.  I've poured my heart out, and I pray he listens.

"You may not be my friend, but I'll always be yours..."