have you ever decided not to think about something and then thatz all you can think about?  it makes my head ache and my stomache churn...

"Why am I so powerless and stupid?"
-Ayu (criminal)



"Even in the freezing pain, I still remember kindness
If you can erase everything, than I don't even need this heart"
-Gackt (Ash)

So, today went pretty well... I went to the Prom fashion show and had a lot of fun. i even did really good acting/singing A Boy Like That in 5th period for Choir.

there's alot i wanna say.                    but i shouldn't say it. so i won't...

what is it? 

i just think i might cry...

"There are lots of stars
As if to fill the gap between thick clouds
They are shining like a prayer
Almost like a shout
And my chest is constricted
I hope the morning will come for me soon
Before I can't hide up my weakness"
-Ayu (HAPPY ENDING)

Call backs for West Side Story are today... >.< and i am SOOO nervous. but i dressed up for em and everything! ppl have been so nice about it... but i'm so scared... *prays*

"Even if you think yourself as too bold
It's just good
To be frank, I'm reluctant
To be prudent and reserved
Don't watch me quietly, stand up and show me
Be free
Raise your voices
Let me realize
That you are there"
-Ayu (Bold & Delicious)

"Every time we come to a fork in the road
We choose one and go forward
But the other way we didn't choose
Always looks so bright
Why?



What's a Beautiful Day?
What's a Beautiful Day?
When you hesitate over a choice, surely (You know)
What's a Beautiful Day?
What's a Beautiful Day?
You already know
That you are just hesitating to choose the answer you want to choose

It's a Beautiful Day
It's a Beautiful Day
You don't have to be afraid

What's a Beautiful Day?
What's a Beautiful Day?
It's easy to get a beautiful moment, but (You know)
What's a Beautiful Day?
What's a Beautiful Day?
You already know
That you can't get beautiful things just by being beautiful

It's a Beautiful Day
It's a Beautiful Day
You don't have to be afraid

What's a Beautiful Day?
What's a Beautiful Day?
When you hesitate over a choice, surely (You know)
What's a Beautiful Day?
What's a Beautiful Day?
You already know
That you are just hesitating to choose the answer you want to choose






What's a Beautiful Day?
What's a Beautiful Day?
You already know
That you can't get beautiful things just by being beautiful"
-Ayu (Beautiful Day)

so when i looked at the call back sheet for West Side Story this morning, i wasn't there and neither was Ashley Brown... but.. Donna Shearron (i went to her for comfort lol) told me that Mama G just talked to her for like half an hour about how she thought about it last nite and wanted to call back me and Ashley. and then in music theory Mama G pulled me aside into her office and told me she wanted to call me back ^^ and then in Choir 5th period she called back Ashley and Lupoli! ^^ and a bunch of ppl i love got called back as dancers! w00t! now i'm goin over to Rae's to practice lines ^^ I LOVE YOU ALL!

"There are so many choices
That I can't make any guess
Where I like to find my way at last
But as we walk side by side
Expecting the same future
I feel nothing is so true as your profile
Because you know?
There is nothing but love
That is valuable in the end"
-Ayu (ourselves)

so when i looked at the call back sheet, i wasn't there and neither was Ashley Brown... but.. Donna Shearron (i went to her for comfort lol) told me that Mama G just talked to her for like half an hour about how she thought about it last nite and wanted to call back me and Ashley. and then in music theory Mama G pulled me aside into her office and told me she wanted to call me back ^^ and so i'm thinkin and hoping that she'll call Ashley back too ^^

yay!

thanks for your support, all! ^^

so... just got back from WSS auditions and i feel great!!!! that was the most amazing audition i've ever done! i've never felt so good singin in front of ppl! and i even felt i did well acting-wise too! ^^ and they held me after w/ some other girls too so i think i'll get called back! ^^ i mean, if i don't, i'll just die >.< but i'm very proud of myself

for a while... my days sucked but lately every day has been beautiful. in itz own way

"I go my way
Humming a song
If it makes no difference whether I may cry or smile
I smile"
-Ayu (Humming 7/4)

so i was reading my magical rainbow Bible at breakfast this morning and i really liked this verse:

"Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment."-John 7:24

"It was a cold day
I kept on waiting
Just for you
In the hard rain
I was afraid of nothing
I could even think
That even if it was the last day of my life
I didn't care
People who were
Happily smiling together
Passed just close to me
So many times
But I was smiling
More gently than anyone else
Standing alone
Without an umbrella"
-Ayu (rainy day)

last nite, i had a blast at Brady's watchin High School Musical! (i LOVE that movie! i am so gettin the soundtrack! ^^) after that, i went to work and you know i took my camera and we did some pictures this morning:

Caleb's scary face

my scary face

Caleb watching Spongebob

the picture Caleb took of me

the amazingly delicious pancake Brenan made for me

Brenan showin off his pancake skills lol

Caleb eating pancakes

the past few days have been good but now in these next few days i am cursed... and WSS auditions are the next 2 days... -_-

so, last nite i went and hung out at Hastings w/ Brady and Jackie and then we went to Jackie's house and watched The Lead *giggles* it was so funny! and then we started to watch Pocahontas. Brady loves that movie a lil too much lol but i can't blame him, it is a magical movie ^^ and then i went to work... on my way home from work this morning, i bought a prom magazine at Walgreens... i wish all this prom stuff was worked out... >.< but i am losing weight and that excites the crap out of me lol and WSS auditions are Mon. yay! Tues. is the dance auditions and the dance is so much easier than i thought i would be! ^^ so exciting!

i hope this day is as beautiful as yesterday was ^^

"The childhood memories are still in my heart
We never knew
What would be waiting for in our futures
What is left is what we chose
It's not casual at all"
-Ayu (fairyland)

Yay! Friday! The pep rally today was awesome! and our lil group thing in Music Theory was fun! Tonite: High School the musical at Brady's! ^^ then off to work i go!

this Ayu song fits this day pretty well:

"It's a Beautiful Day
It's a Beautiful Day
You don't have to be afraid
What journey will you make
In your limited time?"
-Ayu (Beautiful Day)

I GOT MY AYU CD YESTERDAY!!!! ^^

"You see? We will get to that place some day
I want to show you a superb view
That's the sign for tomorrow, our future"
-Ayu (criminal)

I STILL have not gotten my Ayu CD... >.<

"Supposing man is a creature
Who is always asking for things he doesn't have
Ah, what is it
That we truly want to have?"
-Ayu (Pride)

yeah, so i really hope my new Ayu CD comes in today... it seems like i've been waiting for it forever! >.<

i have a voice lesson today! ^^ w00t!

"I feel myself most miserable
When I can't step forward at the big moment
You know? People often say
Regret after action is better than regret without action"
-Ayu (Bold & Delicious)

so i just got back from work! and i took pictures! here are "my boys" lol

Caleb doing a scary face

Caleb's funny face

the funny face i made when Caleb took a picture of me

I finally got Caleb to smile lol

Austin playing video games

Brenan cooking

the pancakes Brenan made

i finally got Caleb to put some clothes on lol

Caleb in his Spiderman costume

Caleb w/ his mask off

Austin still playing video games  (look at his cute lil freckles! ^^ lol)

so there they are ^^ and they're such good boys too! well, gotta go to church -ciao!

well, i worked last nite and i work tonite as well... i forgot my camera yesterday but i will remember to take it w/ me tonite so i can get a pic of my boys ^^ especially adorable 4 yr. old Caleb ^^  my mom and I went and got coffee together and we drove around some and went to Hastings cuz my bro had to read it for Eng. now, my mom and i are cooking some amazing green beans! w00t! i love being a vegetarian! i feel better ^^ but one thing i'm not happy about is that my Ayu CD didn't come in today! and the mail isn't running Monday so it'll be at least Tues. before it comes in >.< oh well... I LOVE YOU ALL!!

"everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
You can fly higher
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
Because you have wings
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
You don't have to be afraid
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
I'm just the same"
-Ayu (Humming 7/4)

w00t! w00t! yeah, you know Ayu's at the top! ^^ YAY YAY YAY!

yeah... not much to say... i gotta work tonite... i miss Jackie... -_-... and yeah...

"Even if you think yourself as too bold
It's just good
To be frank, I'm reluctant
To be prudent and reserved"
-Ayu (Bold & Delicious)