I want to pull my hair out!!!!!!!

 

ok so prepare for randomness... Life is pretty good... I like my job, like where I'm headed, like my coursework, ... God is incredible and I am really working on just letting Him be enough in my life... have you ever been trying to convince yourself of somthing so much that you tell someone else it and they agree and then you realize that even though that's what you want to feel/think/believe, deep down you don't feel that even though you should... yea but even if feelings don't line up, God knows the desires of our heart, and He knows what is best, and that we are trying, so I am going to stick to that and simply pray that God will help me line up all of the shoulds with the actuals... He is awesome and more than enough... and for Him my beign perfect isn't enough, but being imperfect is... 

I think I'm broken enough for you to use, make me whole, but not out of me, but fill this empty vessel with...... You...  I'm ready to be new.

    I feel like a proud mother. I'm bursting with pride for all of you who competed tonight. See all that hard work and long hours of practice paid off! I love you all and I am so so so so so proud of you :-)

 



So this valentines day I am very very happy with the men in my life :-) yes I said men... besides my five wonderful wonderful brothers, I have very very awesome guy friends and in addition to all of that.... I have a Prince Charming that every girl dreams of.  Someone who loves me even though I can't think of why on earth He would... the One I really just want to fall in love all over again, deeper, stronger, I want to be intoxicated.... yes you all know that I am talking about My wonderful Savior... He has saved me even when I didn't want to be saved; He has loved me even when I didn't want to be loved; and He has placed other people in my life who love and care for me.... If valentines day is about celebrating those who care about you, then today I have a lot to celebrate. I want to say thank you soo much to all my friends and family and those friends I call family :-) who have helped me in recent struggles. Thank you to those who have listened, reasoned, helped to sort, been there, cared, smiled, and hugged... "God's got it" And another thing that is absolutely wonderful is that I am being taken to dinner tonight by the earthly man who has always been there for me, my daddy :-)
With much love in Christ
       ~me~

I just finished my last exam.... I'm done for the year!

I know that God never want's us to feel comfortable in the sense that we should always want to grow... but does it ever seem to you that when you begin to feel happy in some place something changes... We are supposed to be content wherever we are... I suppose that though I trust God... and though I know that I don't deserve and don't expect anything more than what He has given me and though if He didn't do another thing for me for the rest of my life I would still be grateful... sometimes I just struggle with enjoying life... Then again no one ever said that we are supposed to like life... in fact scriptures says those who love life will lose it... so maybe it's not so bad.

    Tomorrow at approximatly 2 pm we will be talking about the Judgment on mtsu's radio station. tune in :-)

Ok... I was reading the short news blurbs for mtsu when I cam across this;
Attempted Strong Arm Robbery:  Fairview Building South Parking Lot

On
September 20, 2006, at approximately 9:37 AM, a female student reported that an unknown white male, heavy set, with blonde hair, approximately 20 years of age, approached her in the Fairview Building south parking lot and demanded money.  Victim refused to surrender money and the suspect fled the scene.

So... I'm wondering; did they just not report on this well or am I missing something... He came demanded money without any sort of force, or incentive, no weapon, or threat, and then when she didn't just say oh ok sure... then he ran away? The picture just seems like it's missing something to me. Either that or we have a very callow robber running around campus.

    Ok... so my online Economics class... Facing difficulty with bookstore issues I didn't even get the textbook until Friday the 15th which means I had only five days to cover four chapters (long chapters) of exciting economics material.... this feat is hard enough with my schedule.. but today was supposed to be my big day to get it done... and now the WebCT part of mtsu's site is down (the part with the information that goes with the book) AGGRAVATING.... in good news, however, my teacher said I could postpone the projects until a later time because of the situation... but I still have to cover the material and be ready for the test.I suppose this is just to teach me to study the same thing for long periods of time because I usually like to do little bits of everything and just start really early for it. Maybe this will teach me another work ethic?

    Last night was interesting and a lot of fun. There were interesting parts, fun parts, boring parts, way too busy parts, frustrating parts, and rewarding parts. It is definatly more fast paced than DQ but I really enjoyed visiting with the people at my tables.
    For the first hour and a half no one was seated at my tables, those who would've been weren't because one of the servers was trying to get to the stuff stored under my booth that was a little dissapointing. But then three of my tables were sat all at once and I got extremely busy. But it was fun and I did very well for my first night. I made an average of 24.8% in tips. And this was just my first night. I think part of it was that this place is new, but then again I also am new and I will get better at this. so... in a couple weeks when I actually really know what I'm doing you all should come :-)

    My first nights of real serving (where people actually have to pay to eat) are this week. They open on Wednesday and I am working thursday night and saturday night. Anyway, I hope that I will get the hang of it fairly quickly. I could use the money. I'm glad I took a break but it'll be nice to have a job now.
    God is so good. I myself would never have picked a barbacue place to work. I thought it would be too casual and that I wouldn't make good tips. But this place is "an upperscale casual" place. It's cool and I feel like things worked this way for a reason. I spent a lot of time praying about it just because I didn't want to commit to a place that I wouldn't want to be "stuck" for a while. I like this place.

    Well... I think tonight was a good learning experience... It was well rounded. I think it was really good for me.
   
    Since we haven't really opened yet and everyone is stil training tonight they invited some people in and gave them free food.

I think I got a well rounded experience.

    I got stiffed by people who said I was the best waitress they had had in a really long time and told me taht I was great... they gave me a whopping $1 for all three of them and they ordered appatizers, entrees, desserts, and two of them had four refills. It's cool though, I would have treated them the same way I did even if I knew how they would tip.

    I had one college age girl who was really sweet and emptied out her pockets for tip.

    I had one really great couple who were just generally pleasant who gave me a considerably large tip even though the kitchen took awhile for thier food.

    And then I got one table that tipped in the middle.

So it was  a lot of fun. I learned a lot... Though I did mess up, I forgot to ask about smoked or grilled chicken on one of the salads.... Like I said though it was a learning thing. And for the most part the people I worked with were really awesome as well :-)

I think it'll be good. You all will have to come see me once we open for real :-)

    Today I had my first day of classes and all went well (though my first teacher didn't even show). My social dance class seems like it is going to be an absolute blast! I do have to wear heels for that everytime, but oh well.... Everything went well.
 and...
I got a job!! Yay! God's awesome I'm excited. I had my first training night tonight... I won't be at church tomorrow night cause I'll be training... but yea... my day went well as such :-)

    Go check out my crazy family on vacation :-)

       I'm home and I feel great :-)

    So as everyone already knows, we went sailing today :-).. the boat was over fifty feet long, had six beds, including one full size, two bathrooms, a kitchen, basically everything! It was loads of fun! I have now decided that I officially love sailing! Granted it has it's downs, but it was a boatload of fun (pun intended). The wind in your face, spray of the crashing waves, and overwhelming vastness of the ocean, combination was astounding... God's creation is beautiful and this was just one more way to take it in. MJ, Zay and I are all feeling a bit lightheaded so I'm assuming sailing does that to you?

    Yesterday, I saw a lot of dolphins!! We went on a whale watch and saw one whale sorta but lots of dolphins... then last night my aunt took me shopping. She's awesome!

    Day before last we went to the beach, and then I went to see Oliver Twist in outdoor theater that night... I also saw a lot of beautiful gardens! My aunt took a pic of me in one of the gardens so I may post that just so you can see how gorgeous they are! They have really full, bright gardens all over the place.. I love it here by the coast!

     So really to cover all that I'm having a great time, my family is great and God's creation is awesome!! Hope you all arent' missing me too terribly much lol... I get back Monday which is cool cause I get to se you all... but at the same time... I really really love it here so I'm bummed :-( Plus all the people up here (my aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparents area all great) I'll miss you all!

Have a great night.

    Today I had a blast out on the beach! I laid out, went walking, doodled Isaiah, played badminton with Jonathan and just had fun. I did find, however, that because I have been mostly inside all summer, that I am whiter than any of my family! Hopefully I will take in some sun the next few days but as for now I get to hear jokes about how I'm blinding people with my shocking legs (thanks Chris)... Anyway, still having fun. talk to you all later.

       Just came back in from a stroll around the block... God is amazing creation is beautiful and I feel well :-)