so, i haven't been on here lately. things have been weird. not really bad, just different. i do miss old times though. things seem really tense between a lot of my friendships and the friendships of my other friends. i miss coming home and having so much to write on here even though i knew a max of probably only like 3 people would read it. i was really happy then, and i am now. it's just a different  happy if that makes sense. i've realized that no matter what you do, you can't make everyone like you. changing yourself to get what you want probably isn't always the best thing - for me anyway. i seem to be spending more time alone lately. at first it bothered me, but i've gotten used to it. it still makes me sad sometimes, but i've learned that i can't count on people to make me happy. i'm almost half way through high school, and i haven't done half the things i wanted to. but that's ok, cause i've realized that some of those things probably aren't so great things. i'm still trying to figure things out. life's changing so much way too fast sometimes and not fast enough at other times. i just don't know when to make the most of my time. so i'm mostly just blabbering right now, so i'll leave with i mostly just want to be me - i just haven't quite figured out who that is.