Cara Hawkins
Social
Relationship Status
Single
Highschool
Siegel High School
College
Carson Newman
Interests
Training, History, The Great Outdoors, Historical Sites
Favorite Music
Jack Johnson, Rob Thomas, Beatles, Modest Mouse, Coldplay, Eagles, Cake, Weezer, Bright eyes, The Decemberists, Halloween Alaska
Favorite Movies
Donny Darko, Without Limits, I heart the Huckabees, The Birds, Wait untill dark, Star Wars
So long ,farewell..
August 11 2006
So tomorrow I leave for Carson Newman.
My sister will move into my room.
Coming back to the Boro will never be the same.
My running paths will grow over.
My sisters and friends will be older.
As will I.
So you have about 24-hours to try to contact before I go.
For now, Good-bye Murfreesboro.
I had a good time.
Cara
Untitled
June 14 2006
Waiting
May 25 2006
So I sitting around my house waiting till I run state, it is very nerve-wrecking..
Untitled
May 23 2006
Untitled
May 18 2006
Am I suppose to feel sad?
May 15 2006
No tears fell from my eyes today as I left. What is funny is that a sense of relief didn't wash over me either. I know from this point on that I will be an outsider, never again will I be a student. I will never belong like I did. Yet, it doesn't feel like I am leaving, but rather like I am taking a break only to return eventually. Siegel will always be my roots, and I will always belong there in my memories..
Untitled
May 10 2006
I wonder if I will ever feel like I do at this point? Will there ever be a day that is a same as today? Will I ever feel so happy to be leaving, but so sad to see it all go?
Untitled
March 29 2006
I'm going crazy
February 28 2006
I feel so utterly lost. My head just isn’t on straight or something. Everything is jumbled, and I just want to fast-forward the next couple of months. I’m loosing sleep, and nothing seems that important. This list is as follows.
I just feel like life is out of my control. I am a control freak, though I just don’t show it that much. I just pray everything will work out, but it never seems to happen.
Cara
I'm going crazy
February 28 2006
I feel so utterly lost. My head just isn’t on straight or something. Everything is jumbled, and I just want to fast-forward the next couple of months. I’m loosing sleep, and nothing seems that important. This list is as follows.
I just feel like life is out of my control. I am a control freak, though I just don’t show it that much. I just pray everything will work out, but it never seems to happen.
Cara
People are so stupid.
February 25 2006
I went to go for my track workout and there is this crowd on the track. The crowd seem to have their mouths open and in disbelief. I walked over to see what was going on. Red spray paint was all over Siegel’s stadium. Some idiots from some other school decided to vandalize Siegel. The f-word was in front of the word Siegel were ever it was written. On the concrete walking into the stadium the word Garbage was written in bright blue. Our goalposts were painted red. The courtyard suffered about the same, and under Siegel High School on the gym was “Lebanon is #1 and Seigel sucksâ€. Whoever did it, did spell Siegel wrong. I hate immature idiots; I only hope that no one from Siegel retaliates. I am just so disgusted.
Brian is with child? Watch me while I check up on it..
February 14 2006
Ohh Boy you looking like you like what you see
Won't you come over check up on it, I'm gone let you work up on it
Ladies let em check up on it, watch it while he check up on it
Dip it, pop it, twork it, stop it, check on me tonight
If you got flaunt it, boy I know you want it
While I turn around you watch me check up on it
Oohhh you watchin me shake it, I see it in ya face
Ya can't take it, it's blazin, you rock me it amaze me
You can look at it, as long as you don't grab it
If you don't go braggin, I'ma let you have it
You think that I'm teasin, but I ain't got no reason
I'm sure that I can please ya, but first I gotta read you
Ohh Boy you looking like you like what you see
Won't you come over check up on it, I'm gone let you work up on it
Ladies let em check up on it, watch it while he check up on it
Dip it, pop it, twork it, stop it, check on me tonight
I can tell you wanna taste it, but I'm gone make you chase it
You got to be patient, I like my men patient
More patience, you take might get you in more places
You can't be abrasive, have to know to pace it
If I let you get up on it, you gotta make a promise
That you gone put it on me, like no ones put it on me
Don't bore me, just show me, all men talk but don't please
I can be a tease, but I really wanna please you
Why can't this song get out of my head, really I only happened to hear it in passing. I am one of those people who listens to NPR or my own indie cds.
So what would be your perfect Valentine's gift?
Mine would be a prom date...
Cara
P.S. Oh, and Brian is Preggers, so what?
P.S.S.I want to know what you think...
Did anybody else see that dove commerical on during the Superbowl?
February 08 2006
It always seems odd to me that so many girls in America have problems with self-confidence, and especially with their looks. I just can’t see how girls go to such extremes to change themselves such as starving themselves, plastic surgery and tanning booths. God made you, and why would want to mess with someone who made the world, obviously, he thinks you are perfect. You could take this to an extreme, and never wash or brush your hair. You must also remember that your body is a temple, and you must maintain it. The second reason, I can’t believe girls go to such extremes, is that I have never thought that I was ugly. Every once in a while I get a angry with how my hair is etc..but it is usually over with in five seconds. I also know I am not gorgeous or very pretty. I think of myself as different looking, and I pretty much like the way I am. It is hard to see why girls go to such extremes, and I only hope this epidemic stops.
Wish me luck..
February 02 2006
What is your diagnosis doctor? Senioritis
January 31 2006
I never thought it would happen to me. Perhaps, because I was thought myself too motivated, or taking too hard of classes. There would be no room to slack off. Let me tell you, you might feel like you are slacking off now, but it is nothing like Senioritis.
So I was sitting in the middle of English with lovely Mrs. Juergens. I am seating there listening to her ramble on about a term paper or something. This idea just came to me, what would happen if I just walked out of the class. Really could they do anything to me? I am a senior who has never gotten in trouble. I soon realized that I was just being lazy, and quickly tried to bring my attention back to Mrs. Juergens. This was unsuccessful; my mind began to wander towards college and the classes there. My want for to do homework has gone down hill, mind you I never had much of a will to do it anyways, but now I find myself not even bringing any of my books home or for that matter, trying to do it at school. I have caught Senioristis, let's just hope I don't come down with a serious case.
Still no prom date..don't know if I am going to be brave enough to ask...but enough about that.
Cara
An easy quiz..
January 25 2006
Can someone answer the question on why I am freaked out by prom? Please choose the most correct answer.
A.I don't think I will be asked.
B.I don't know who I would ask
C.I haven't even thought about dresses
D.I don't even think I have a group of people I could go with as a group.
E. All of the above
If you picked E, you are right. You can also assume that I am going to go completly insane before this is over.
Early morning rambling..
January 15 2006
Haven't been in school since Thursday, the week tends to fly by faster when you aren't in class for two days. Though it is a little sad when you go back to your teachers and learn you haven't missed much. I wish school would be interesting again. At least AP government is interesting this semester.
I am a bit happy the holidays are over for awhile; so I won't be asked what college I am going to. I haven't even had the chance to visit the schools, none the less decide. Also, is is really that bad to have not decided a major yet. I just have alot of interests, and I need to decide which one to dive deeper into. I want to do something with my life that I will enjoy.
So far this year I have read three books: Memoirs of a Geisha, Life of Pi and The Historian. I enjoyed them all.
So far this year I have been listening to three CDs constantly: Picturesque by the Decemberist, Digital ash in a Digital Urn by Bright Eyes, Too Tall to Hide by Halloween Alaska. I love the first two, and the last one is a little to techno.
It is odd to think that this time next year I will be in a completely new stage of my life. I'm a little scared and a little excited.
Cara
A creative writing piece, done in a bought of anger
January 10 2006
To an Enemy
I would like to apologize
Ahead of time
That this might seem
A little harsh
I have tried my best
And I guess
It wasn’t enough
For me to like you
I smile and try to go along
With you being a glory hog
But it just
Didn’t work for me
While you are talking
I was mocking
You inside my head
Hoping you would shut-up
You know I dislike you
Among a select few
I know you
Can’t stand me
I wish to call it truce
But what’s the use
For in life
We all need an enemy
I would like to apologize
In this present time
For this was
A little harsh..
So I had my first non running related mental breakdown..
January 06 2006
So I can't stand AP English. I actually came out of there nearly crying. The only class I can't drop, I really want to. The following are the reasons for my mental breakdown.
1. I studied for two days for the Middle English passage, and made a terrible grade.
2. That woman decided to change what our term paper was going to be on. I am one of those kids who has had their book picked out since freshman year. Now, instead we have to write a term paper on a Canterbury tale. Goodness, we have been studying this it seems like forever, do we really need to go more in depth.
3. I do not feel like I am going to prepared for the AP exam. We have only written one paper in thier this whole year. Then all sudden she wants us to start preparing. So basically, we slack off the whole first of the year, and try to cram everything in at the end. She isn't a good teacher, and only seems to care about the yearbook.
I really wish I could drop this class, but I need to take the AP, and to do that I have to be in this class. Really, I made a 36 on reading on the ACT, isn't like I can't pass this. If I am going to be made to jump through pointless hoops for grades that don't even count, I might just loose.
Cara
**EDIT**
Did anyone else notice the Oakland domatation group? So they win one game in five by four points and thinks they dominate us? Hello, we beat you in football, and well pretty much everything else. So one game isn't that big of deal.
While you were sleeping..
January 01 2006
Well, while you all were in your beds this morning..I was up and in Nashville by 9:00, and by 10:00 I had started to run a 5k. It was a pretty good race, course was crazy.. Time was ok..
X
I am a looser..
December 30 2005
So I found out that two people who are both in my social group are throwing a parties for News Years...
I wasn't invited of couse..
I must just be a horrible person...
Cara
Houston..we had a problem!
December 29 2005
Houston we had a problem
and I hade fallin
into a state of withdrawal
and was using xanga!
I tend to enter rooms with a big knife in my hand
December 10 2005
This tale begins when my sisters and I come home from A Charlie Brown Christmas, which I must say was awesome to say the least, and we come into our currently empty dark house. I go to the front doorway to turn on the the outside Christmas lights, and behind me I hear something fall. My sisters and I quickly search the downstairs only to conclude that the noise came from upstairs. Then one of us hears voices from upstairs. I go quicky to the silverware drawer and pull out the biggest scariest knife I can find. My sisters follow pulling out a smaller knife and a pair of scissors. I start to climb the stairs and they refuse to follow. So I am exploring the dark upstairs with this huge knife. I find nothing and come downstairs. Then Savannah hears a noise and refuses to go upstairs. None the less, we sat around with knifes, until Tori checked upstairs, carrying scissors, and there was nothing. Anyways, I tend to create crazy elaborate fears in my head and then search my house with a huge knife.
Also, could scissors really stab a man?
Cara