this week has been quite hectic

my mom is sick cuz of her diabetes
and her birthday is this weekend
me & sean got on good terms
then had a huge blowup
then made it all better
me & david had our first fight
which was reeeeaallllyyyyy....ehhhhh
but yeah mini-camp is next week
and school is soon

shopping here i come

blah!

God is beautiful.

ok, going ahead to post this one is after my call to sister Patient.

she then told me that we should think about what we have rather than what we don't have. anyway, she reminded me of my devotion of my voice to God already, so i should keep in mind that God will take the responsibility now not me any more. i have been worrying so much is due to my own arrangement for God, thinking that how could i be a good preacher if lost my voice? how could i be a good teacher if i lost my voice? ok, now i know God knows all this, and HE will watch this.

thanks be to God.

Halleluja!

So yesterday, I took Daniel to the doctor's so they could check his ears and make sure that the infection was all gone.  His ears look perfect, but he still had a fever and his white blood cell count had not gone down at all since Monday.  Mom and I are of the opinion that he just picked up a virus towards the end of his ear infection, but the doctor that the nurse practitioner consulted insisted that Daniel have a barrage of tests done.  Yesterday afternoon, my mother and I took Daniel to the hospital for a chest x-ray to see if he has pneumonia and to have blood drawn to see if there is a blood infection.  When they checked his white blood cell count, they just poked his toe.  For the blood tests, they had to get a fair amount of blood out of a vein in his arm.  This led to me, Mom, and a nurse holding a screaming, crying Daniel still while another nurse drew his blood.  The x-ray also made him scream and cry.

Luckily, Mom was in town.  She came by yesterday to bring us some dinner and help me get all caught up on cleaning the kitchen and the laundry.  Seeing as we had to go get those tests done, I am SO glad Mom was here.  I don't know how I could have gotten through it without her.  Thanks, Mom!

Please continue to keep Daniel in your prayers.

feeling so bad today when i came back from hospital to reexamine my voice, i just wanted to cry.

    actually i have been well enough to speak, though, i can't help worrying about recrudesence, cause i didnt obey the doctors' advice to keep silent for two weeks. as a matter of fact, i spoke a lot just at the third day of the surgery.  i don't know why i have never been like this, i just worry so much now by thinking about voice is my life-- cause i am a teacher, and if i came back to the hospital for the second time for voice operation, what will i do? if i lost my voice forever, how shall i do?

2 full fucking days!!!!!
YAY!!!!!
wooooot!!!
fucking finally!!!!!
yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am sooo happy.
leaving 10:30 in the moring
to go to dougles lake!!!

         megan

I have a quote that pretty much covers it, but I cant even paste it into the body here and it is way too long to retype, which is really angering me even more. I dont know what I'm doing, and I dont know what anyone else is doing. I get to watch people around me mess up royally, which sucks, but to make matters worse I throw myself into a downward spiral worrying about them. Why? Because I bloody care, alright? Even if nobody else can get that, I care and I always will. Change is hard. Which brings me back to the CRAPPING QUOTE THAT I CANT PASTE!!! *angry face and fuming* It is too late to be up but I cant sleep at all.

I'm glad I get to hang out with my daddy tomorrow night. I am sad that I will be worried about someone else the entire time and thus probably not enjoy myself.

If nobody has figured it out, I wrote a lot in the past. Like, I actually blogged about crap that actually matters. In fact, I've tried to re-post some of that here. But of course, I couldnt paste those in either. I've really wanted to write again recently, but I havent been able to find the desire to actually sit down and do it instead of something else. I think that is another flaw of mine, other than my inability to change. My true moments of inspiration almost always come out of pain, hurt, or anger. It's a terrible muse, to be sure.

That said, I just had another quote come to mind. This one, it should come as little surprise to anyone who has read blogs of mine for at least a year or two, is from Babylon 5. I wont spell out the whole thing because of my inability to cut and paste from elsewhere, but it speaks of how much of life is built up of moments of revelation and moments of transition. If this is the case, I've had plenty of revelation without the transitions that accompany. Equally interesting is another statement by the same character that the future is always born in pain. I disagreed at first until I thoguth about it. The very concept of growing pains speaks volumes of this, that all true growth will have some associated pain. Be it physical growth, giving something up, or even being forced to watch close friends make horrible mistakes, if you take it for what it is meant to be, you have an opportunity to spring forward.

Everwood had more amazing quotes early on than much of anything else. Sucks that most of them drifted away later in the series. That is where my desired long quote comes from. Oh well.

I intended to be asleep nearly two hours ago. I guess I should go try to lay back down now since I have to get up in less than 6 hours at this point. I know some of you probably havent stuck this out, but I truly appreciate those who did. Please just pray for me. I wont get any more specific than I already have on here because that would be a bit over too many lines. So just take what you've got :-).

Finally, I have to change my answer to a question Michael Dillon asked me tonight.

YES. I am absolutely ready for school to start back, far more than ever. Apologies for saying no. :-)

in looking for a place for a friend from PA to live nearby, i stumbled across this article.

this neighboorhood is connected to mine, so i'm gonna try and get my pic w/ a pig on satruday

Smile, Wilbur
Farmer schedules photo op with popular porker
By DOUG DAVIS

dougdavis@dnj.com

The popularity of Wilbur the piglet has reached new heights, so
much so that Wibur's first public appearance has been set for next week.

"We
have gotten so many people coming out for Wilbur we are going to have a
picture-taking with Wilbur on July 29 from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. in Jamison
Downs subdivision," said John L. Batey. a Blackman community swine
farmer and the owner of the little porker.

x_1'); 






One of 300 pigs on Batey's farm, the piglet was chosen to adorn the
front cover of a new release of E. B. White's children's book,
"Charlotte's Web." The story features a young pig, Wilbur, who is
befriended by a spider, Charlotte.

The news was accompanied at the time by a comment from Batey that Wilbur may never know of his fame.

"Within a year, he'll head to market," Batey said in a Daily News Journal story last month.

After
those ominous words hit the streets, Melissa Batey, John's wife, let
her husband know he could become the "bad farmer" if Wilbur became ham,
barbecue or bacon. Calls came from Boston, New York and even Canada
asking about the piglet and its fate.

In response, John L. and
Melissa Batey decided to not only spare the piglet from the butcher's
blade but to raise it as a pet. That led to a national article for
Wilbur in USA Today on July 3, and then to an NBC "Today" Show
appearance by Wilbur and the Bateys on July 10.

Since then folks
have brought children or grandchildren to the Batey farm to have their
picture taken with Wilbur, who has his own pen and pig house.

"Most people call before they come," said Melissa Batey.

One
vacationing Texas woman got directions to the Batey's home from a
Nashville hotel and just appeared in the driveway, asking "Is this the
home of Wilbur?"

"She's a fourth-grade teacher," said Melissa
Batey. "Teachers in the fourth grade read chapter books like
'Charlotte's Web.' She wanted to have her picture taken with Wilbur."

Melissa
Batey said they have had a lot of requests from people to have their
children or grandchildren's picture taken with Wilbur.

To meet
the demand, the a photo session with Wilbur has been scheduled for July
29 at Jamison Downs Subdivision Blackman Road, 1.4 miles on the left
from Blackman store and the four-way stop sign. Wilbur will be under a
tent at the fourth or fifth house on the left on Jamison Downs Street,
Batey said.

"We are going to have a photographer there to take a
photo with Wilbur," said John L. Batey. "We will have (Wilbur) in a
small elevated pen."

The professional photos will be developed at
no charge while families are on site. Popcorn and snow cones will also
be given away. Families can also bring their own cameras.

Durham Realty and Auction Co. representatives will be on hand to show homes and lots that are for sale in Batey's subdivision.

In the meantime, John L. Batey said he is spending more time with Wilbur.

"I
am trying to make him more friendly with me," the farmer said. "He is
walking with me (on a leash) out to get a newspaper. He even rides in
the truck on a seat with me now."

John L. Batey even took Wilbur to a nearby rock quarry to show him off.

"I told (John), 'If you're not careful people will be calling you pig man,'" Melissa Batey said.

But she is happy for her husband to take on the chore of socializing the squealing piglet.

"I think Wilbur needs one master, and that's John," she said.

— Doug Davis, 278-5152

Originally published July 21, 2006

so today i wake up to a call from emily...as usual.. and shes like ..hey!.. lets go to the mall, so i go to her house and we hop in her car...half way there she starts hitting the gas but the car wont speed up ..so we pull over...and start laughing and freaking out.

so we think...hm..maybe if we just restart it itll be fine...
well...when she put it in drive it started rolling backwards..

two police passed us and didnt stop so we got really mad at them, but when a interstate emergency guy showed up a few minutes later we guessed they called him...

he took a look and was like well..girls, looks like the transmission blew.. :-0..not good..

OH but heres the really scary part.

we were sitting there with the windows down, sweatin it up..and i look over and this guy in his car with his windows down is staring at me. so i hit em and was like roll up the windows!..for about 5 seconds we were both freakin out until he held up his badge and asked if we were okay...ha.ha.

so we boiled in the 100 degree sun and her dad came and got us..

it was definitely a crazy day with my best friend on the side of I-40...

to add to all of that..last night me and em were comin home on 96 and got stuck for about 45 minutes while a motorcyclist was lifeflighted to nashville....ive never been that close to a wreck...or seen a helicopter come straight down on the road..it was so crazy..

tomorrow im going with em for senior pictures...not mine..but she needs the support..ha..
im dreading having them made...yuck

love you--kels

I'm going to be on my way to michigan in about 8 hours to visit w/ my aunt, so that is where I will be till late monday night, then I am RETAKING my senior pictures on wednesday b/c they didn't turn out good AT ALL and so I called and complained and they said that I will have a chance to sit down and tell the photographer what I want, I like my indoor pics, but the ones outside just looked BAD so therefore they will be done again...well that's about all that is going on in my life, hope yall have a fabulous weekend!!!

ha. so i finally ate guacamole for the first time (by choice) tonight. restaurant raid was at Blue Coast. i had half a burrito and a brush with death. michael almost ordered it with (dun dun DUN!) BLACK OLIVES!!!!!!!! it would have been really sad if he had have killed me via a small black vegetable. anyways, got to know a kid named Zeke, which was pretty cool. clint gave the most amazing message in the world tonight. and that's because it was just all  God. like, it was totally His words. it was amazing. i could've sworn that he was speaking directly to me.

i also got to thinking about how shallow i can be. how shallow the world is. there are so many people living for the most temporary things. temporary glory. and also how many religious people there are. i'm guilty of it myself at times. Tonight clint talked about how easy it is to be religious. In fact, it seems to almost be catered to our human nature. It's a result of our pride, it glorifies us, it requires no love or compassion, and enables us to accuse because, of course, we are so much better than those sinners. our world doesn't need more religion. we need the radical, transforming change that a real relationship with Jesus Christ brings. Christianity is not a religion. It's a relationship. sounds trite i know, but it's just the truth. i get so comfortable with the milk of God's word, and even when i'm offered the meat and potatoes, i just shrink back and stay complacent. i can be such a hypocrite.

i know that God loves us all equally, but sometimes i wonder if He shakes His head at us as Christians more than non-believers, because we know better, and we still act like we are of this world. i feel like i've just been talking the talk, but no more. i'm gonna start walking. 

"THEREFORE, THERE IS NOW NO COMDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS!" ---Romans 8:1. i want to live my life in the knowledge of the freedom that i have in Christ. i didn't realize how far i had fallen until tonight, and i had to question a lot of my motives. i had truly forgotten my first love. i pray that each and every one of you will come to that same realization, just quicker than i did. if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, go forward tomorrow knowing that any accusation brought up against you cannot stand. you are not bound by the "law of sin and death" any longer! praise God, and thanks be to Him! i love you all so much. goodnight, and much love  ----Cari  

So I've been invited out salsa dancing tomorrow night.

Problem is, I need someone to go with.  So I'm spamming all my little online journal-thingies with a similar invite.  Any takers?  No experience necessary; we can learn together.  :)

And, uh, I'll get the necessary information like time and location tomorrow, when my contact touches base.

Well, I was told that I need to blog more, so here is another blog.

I am leaving for texas for the next week and a half, and once I get back I will be leaving immediately for Orlando, so I won't be blogging for awhile.

Bye all, I hope you enjoyed this blog.

Not much for me to say, except: band camp.  If it wasn't for all of the hilariously funny and slightly wierd things that band kids do, I would probably have snapped by now.  Just to clarify, I hate marching.  The oddly funny actions of all these band kids is the only thing that actually makes marching worth it.  Basically, if any band kids read this, please keep doing whatever it is you're doing.

Okay, so it's been two whole months since my relationship with Allison ended.  Really, more like 2 and a half months.  Anyway, that's been over for a while.  This has been the longest time I've spent outside of an official relationship since April 7, 2004.   Granted, there was a four-day stint with one girl, but since there was no emotional involvement and it was just a boring time all around, I'm not counting it.

Anyway, the girl situation likes to complicate itself.  This is one of the reasons I prefer being in a relationship: I don't have to worry about other girls nearly as much.  So the problem?  Try problems.  Here they are:

1. Kate - She lives in Michigan.  She's the younger sister of a friend of mine and is two years younger than me.  We get along great and have both expressed interest in the other.
Negative side of this: She lives in Michigan.  She's the younger sister of a friend of mine and is two years younger than me.
Verdict: Although I'd really like to pursue something, there's no feasible way.  We'll have to maintain our friendship and see where God takes us.

2. Ashley - She lives in Memphis.  She's a youth worker at my church here, and graduated from Texas Tech with a BA in Communicative Arts or something like that.  She's a great girl, a strong Christian, a wonderful singer, and we share a few of the same dreams about the future.
Negative side of this: She lives in Memphis.  She graduated from Texas Tech with a BA in Communicative Arts or something like that (meaning she's at least 3 years older than me).
Verdict: Untouchable.  She's too old for me to even think about.  Not that this is coming from my end, but that that is how I believe it would be perceived.  I know I'm making assumptions, but I think they're alright in this case.

3. Marlee - She's going to Mississippi College in the fall.  She's my best friend in the world and has been for the last decade.  She's just incredible.
Negative side of this: She's in love with another guy.
Verdict: I missed my shot with this one two and a half years ago.

Really, it's not too complicated if I just follow the verdicts.  Instead, I like to overthink and overanalyze it all.  By the time I start getting tired of thinking about them, I'll be back in Cookeville with a whole new batch of temptation and desire.

Wednesday night was once again, another night of farewells.  This one beyond compare.  Last night we were at the home of a middle class Angolan family.  Words cannot adequately express/describe the extra-ordinary effort they must have gone through to make it special .... I will post some pics later this week.

Given the various language challenges, it was an evening of .... English, Spanish, Portuguese, and Bahasa Indonesia .... yikes, what a challenge .... but fun too !!!! (I swear, I heard some French too !!)

During the evening, we ate funge (tapioca root, that is used like a mashed potato), calulu (a seafood soup), codfish, and a seafood (shrimp and oyster) rice.  It was fantastic, and the best I have ever eaten in Angola.

Company was great ... and we ate and visited until about 12 midnight.   Even the children were engaged, and I looked at drawings of an up-and-coming artist (probably 6 years old as of last night) .... he was so cute !!!!

Saying "good-bye" was Sooooooo difficult. We could not without tears .... so we only said "until next time".

Wish I could say more ... but I am barely moving forward with only 2.5 hours sleep.

Ciao Ciao.

SapphireBow (9:56:37 PM): I can't wait to feel a rifle's touch again
XxNyCxLoVexX (9:56:46 PM): but first
XxNyCxLoVexX (9:56:51 PM): ur going to give me
XxNyCxLoVexX (9:56:53 PM): my cd back
SapphireBow (9:57:03 PM): don't interupt my dream sequence
XxNyCxLoVexX (9:57:13 PM): give me my cd back
SapphireBow (9:57:19 PM): "and the clouds opened up
XxNyCxLoVexX (9:57:24 PM): I WANT MY CD
SapphireBow (9:57:32 PM): and God placed a rifle in Danny's hands
SapphireBow (9:57:51 PM): and he said, 'Spin, my son.'
SapphireBow (9:58:18 PM): And then the earth opened up
SapphireBow (9:58:26 PM): and Stephanie came from Hell
SapphireBow (9:58:32 PM): and she demanded her CD
XxNyCxLoVexX (9:58:39 PM): UR SO MEAN!!
arsonisticeweasl (9:58:54 PM): lol!
mestupkid309 (9:58:55 PM): i am crying.

danny ray you are too funny.

my puppy;; dolly
she is 11 weeks old..
my baby =)

So today was Day 3 of Band Camp. The first day with everybody there.

If only I could get the clarinets to practice....WAIT! This just in! TWO clarinets practiced today! I'm so PROUD of them!!

I'm.......BALD!!! Well, 99%. It's not that bad, as long as I'm not looking at it.

Being shirtless makes me SO self-conscious. But today I was sleeveless. Yet still, I wanted to like put on a different shirt. But I didn't.

I think that Tennessee Tech is where I wanna go for college.

8 to 6 practice tomorrow.

Danny

WOW! it feels good to be home finally.it's amazing. i had an awesome time at the fair.riding rides were great and just having fun was awesome.

but it's great to be home i can't wait for this weekend....AHHH DCI.

okay bye.

Leah

i thought i would write something. it's been forever. works going ok. i only have 2 and half weeks left. heck ya. summer has been a bummer, but thats expected i guess. especially when you work all the time. but it has pretty much stunk.

so i havent really talked to my bestest friend in a while. it seems like something is wrong. i hope everything is ok. te amo muchos.

johns gettting married....

school starts soon. i need to re-do my classes. we'll get that done though. i need a major still, but i think i know the direction i wanna head. i wish i could do engineering, but my math isnt good enough.

2+2=6 right. haha, just kidding

piece

When I started reading Prince Caspian, which I just finished, I just couldn't imgaine it being as impactful as The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but wow... oh wrong I was. It's an amazing story. Here are some of my favorite quotes and moments:

Edmund: That's the worst of girls. They never can carry a map in their heads.
Lucy: That's because our heads have something inside them.
(That made me laugh out loud!)

"Wouldn't it be dreadful if some day in our own world, at home, men started going wild inside, like the animals here, and still looked like men, so that you'd never know which were which?" -Lucy

Aslan: Welcome, child.
Lucy: Aslan, you're bigger.
Aslan: That is because you are older, little one.
Lucy: Not because you are?
Aslan: I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.

Aslan: We must not lie her for long. You have work in hand, and much time has been lost today.
Lucy: Yes, wasn't it a shame? I saw you all right. They wouldn't believe me. They're all so-
(Aslan growls)
Lucy: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start slanging the others. But it wasn't my fault anyway, was it? ...you don't mean it was? How could I - I couldn't have left the others and come up to you alone, how could I? Don't look at me like that... oh well, I suppose I could. Yes, and it wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with you. But what would have been the good? You mean, this it would have turned out all right - somehow? But how? Please Aslan! Am I not to know?
Aslan: To know what would have happpened, child? No. Nobody is ever told that... but anyone can find out what will happen.

Lucy: They won't believe me!
Aslan: It doesn't matter.

"...things never happen the same way twice." -Aslan

"Susan. You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you. Forget them. Are you brave again?" -Aslan

Reepicheep: I can eat and sleep and die for my King without one [a tail]. But a tail is the honour and glory of a Mouse.
Aslan: I have sometimes wondered, friend, whether you do not think too much about your honour.

Caspian: I was wishing that I came of a more honourable lineage.
Aslan: You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve. And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor in the earth. Be content.

And this is my favorite:
Aslan: Welcome, Prince. Do you feel sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?
Caspian: I - I don't think I do, Sir. I'm only a kid.
Aslan: Good. If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been a proof that you were not.

I'm so Tired!!!!

look what i did to corey.... yes i cut the beautiful locks of goldis brown LOL.....


then i made my dress completely out of hot topic bags....

then at the end of the day.... i slept!

It seems as though one of my cows have escaped. I can't find him anywhere. So if you happen to find Joe the Cow give me a call.

615-542-4348

hm. so. as of july twenty-fifth two thousand and six.
jeremy and i are together.
and i couldn't be happier.
he makes me smile.

i miss this guy like freaking crazy.
he was my best friend...especially when no one else was there...
i messed up, and didn't take certain opportunities...
now he's gone.

i miss him...so much...
anyone agree?

until HLUB.

yeah. i need ta pack<3

Isn't God awesome! Isn't it amazing to think that Jesus is coming back for us soon, that He's going to take me into his arms and say that He loves me...isn't that just...amazing? I get excited thinking about it. God has answered my prayer. For so long I have been praying for God to ignite a fire in me, that I would have a desire to read the Word, a desire to pray, and a desire to draw close to him, and I ahve that. I am so excited at the thought of going home and reading my Bible, of finding more things that He has to say to me. Excited about praying, telling Him how much love I have for him, and listening to Him speak to me. My God is an awesome God. He's in control, no matter what happens, and He's got a plan, and I'm confident everything is going to work out fine. He spoke to me on Sunday night, specifically to me. I love my God. He's a God for today. He's amazing. 

We're goin to the county fair!!! yeah!!!! it's easy to get excited about stuff when all u have time for is work!!!!!!

okay if you read this blog leave some kind of comment. even its just hey or :). I just want to know how many people read this to i know if i want to still keep it open or not.

-ap

An angel left in the sky
Fell down to Earth to find out why
People were so mean and rude.
That angel meet you and found that
Not everyone's mean but
There's always one person that can  make your day
If you find them...

The new website is now finished!!!  Check it out at mtsubcm.com
   

We have a new dog in our family.  Meet Mr. Harley Craig.  He is a Lhasa Apso/Terrier.  Him and Chester have been playing all night last night.

Click Here to see his pictures!

Grace will be heading for Norway in a couple of weeks,and will stay there for 2 years.


Knowing her is on the day of Easter Day in 1998 when i brought Flight to Zhongzhou, so in other words, i got the two influential people in my life on the same day,even though Flight has gone now, for which i could not have the encouragement yet to write about him, though, he, my torchbearer in my mind forever.anyway, she then asked Flight to initiate an English Bible Study in the church, and was agreed by Flight, a devotive missionary.

Our English Bible Study Group has gone through a lot, bitterness, sweetness,together with different kinds of people with all kinds of problems, and Grace has been standing there to invole every staff. and i saw Grace has never been tired of anyone or anything. with patience, she listens to everyone's troubles, and tries her best to pray for them and encourage them.


The days with sunshine in our EBG,though, coupled with some of the unpleasant things and unpleasant people, which i don't want mention here. but anyway, there R some dark days then, fornutely, united by the tie of Love in LORD, we have never been scattered from the time it was estabished, except some of the days break happening.

Recollecting the days with her, i must say, has been a great blessing for me, of course blessing for many others, though. many disscussions and instructions and encouragements help me to look at life in a way that i could not even magine before. that's a way of total sumission to God. one thing interesting is that she never blames me when i was ****** some complaints and in a fulminic way, she never stops me but then i myself will realize that faults. sometimes she did criticize me, but always at the time accetably.

The days with her, however, also includes some unpleasant time when i saw her weakness. of course, that makes me come to senses then to know she is only a human, not a god. but God's timing is perfect, cause that is the time when i could bear that and makes me grow up with another sister.  she has been terribly weak and sad at a time. anyway, it is so hard to organize all the staff into an essay, though, i may like to do it later, since she is an influential person.

Perhaps the thought of losing your mind
Is just one of God's little signs
To warn you of what's to come...
Just building you up for the fading glimpse
Of all the greatest memories on your finger tips
Strengthening you for the end....

No I believe in things called miracles
And to say you're one is not just bold
But for me it holds the truth...
Maybe this heart, is just who I am..
You may not see, or not understand
But who I am, is surely me...

I heart you way hard.

Seriously, you guys are the reason I bother getting out of bed in the morning (or afternoon, you know, whenever).  You make up for all the crappy stuff life throws at me.

Whether you're staying or going, no matter how much of a "jerk" I think you are or you think I am, you need to know.

I heart you.  WAY hard.

(And others as well.  I just don't have that many pictures.)

This summer is the prequel to the transition period of my life.  I'm one of those people who is terrified of change.  (I don't think it's bad, I just think it's very scary.)  Choosing a college, saying goodbye to the people I care about most, growing up... Not exactly on the top ten of my to do list.

So just in case you were wondering, I loves yous.

"Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed."
 Martin Luther King, Jr.

i've put up a lot of pictures from Romania... there are more to come.
the kids were amazing

hahahahahhaahahahahahhahahahahahahaha....i don't think i'll ever get over that one. i reeeeeeeally miss mexico. i noticed to day how not normal i really am. i seem to be absolutely nothing like my friends. which, in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. but sometimes it does seem to make for a bit of a distance between us these days. today i went to visit Bruce's grave for the first time in a long time. it was kinda weird, cause my mom went to take flowers to my uncle's grave earlier in the day, so i thought i would take some to Bruce's. and

it just didn't seem right. it's strange how as you get farther away from someone's death, your perception of how they used to be seems to change. nayways, on a less depressing note, church is tomorrow, which should be fun. i dunno if i'll go to restaraunt raid or not, but whatev. well, this is a really boring post. i guess i don't have much else to say. good night y'all. much love---Cari

I leave for Rhode Island in the morning. I am very excited! I still need to pack.

its a game u get a picture of the laziest thing you have ever done and try and beat it

the laziest thing i have ever done is put my computer next to my bed so i can use it and go to sleep without even having to get out of bed the entire day

the way God works things out. But everything always works out just as it should. I was thinking about it. My freshman and sophomore years were not my best, and to tell you the truth I wasn't really happy at all. I lost a guy I thought was great, found a guy who worshipped me and didn't really know me, couldn't seem to make any friends, felt like an absolute awkward fool, and just wasn't happy at all. Then junior year came along and things got a little better. I found that I didn't have to change to find friends. I was a bit more confident and a lot stronger. That year I had to take US History honors because I didn't find out until too late about AP. I was so ticked off because I wanted to take AP and couldn't. I passed that class, but I still wanted to take AP US History. So I wound up taking it my senior year. If I hadn't I would have missed out on the most amazing thing to happen to me in a long time. I would never have met Kenny and would never have begun the great roller coaster ride that brought me to where I am now. It took some interesting events to make me see that I was in love but in the end I did. I knew there was something there when I received some pretty painful information that most of my friends thankfully pulled me through. I found out that he had a girlfriend, and I had been hugging, and flirting, with someone else's guy. Sure I hugged Dash, who had a girlfriend, and sort of flirted, but that wasn't as real. I didn't do it for the same reasons. But that wasn't the big thing. I realized it was something big when I found out he was moving. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out again. I was lost and it hurt so bad to know that he was going to be leaving. I can't remember the last time I cried like that over a guy, but I just fell apart. It all clicked. I had been planning to go the University of the South, but my application didn't get in on time. So I chose MTSU. If I hadn't I wouldn't have met the Mock Trial teams and become a part of that, which has been a learning experience and a thrill. I also would've missed out on some fairly interested classes that were a blast. But most importantly I think is the fact that I wouldn't have been in Murfreesboro when he came back to visit. I would have missed it completely and missed the opportunity to see him again. I wasn't sure that he felt the same way I did, and I would never have known if I had gone to the Sewanee. It turns out that so far things have worked out beautifully, and I thank God they have.

im in the mood to either read and get lost in another world or write and make up my own.

got a massive effin paper cut today...by massive i mean this one might need stitches.

went to the pyramids today and climbed one.  by climbing i mean walked up 236 stairs.  yes, that is the accurate number.  no, my obsessive complulsive mind did not click on and count...alexis did...A:  dos cientos treinta y seis..como se dice, oli?  O:  en ingles? A:  si  O:   236

keiry (prounounced katey)-the two year old- kicked me today because she was mad that i took the roll of double-sided tape from her (thats how i got the paper cut).  then her mom smacked her hand.

i realize that i listen to my ipod when i most need to escape what is happening around me.

i usually hold on to my wadded up napkin for at least 15 min after i eat.  it must be some sort of security for me.

i find myself really wanting to buy a book of poetry by nikki giovanni.  if you dont know any of her stuff...FIND IT AND READ IT.  shes amazing.

you know your in a foreign country when your excited about eating pizza.

i played a game on facebook today.  i clicked on a friend from high school, then kept clicking on mutual friends.  its cool to see where everyone is.

i cant wait for classes to start back.  i really want to dive into a new english class.  this semester its shakespeare and then some.

decorating for vbs tomorrow.  will get to see some familar people. 

my mind is as full as a ticks swollen body right now.  its not fun.  i think it might pop at any moment...

hence the reason to get lost elsewhere

ciao

Tuesday night we had the company farewell.  I decided to stay "low key" as I am not into bling-bling events about "me".  Overall, there were about 20 employees/spouses at our dinner at O'caril .... basically the Angola Sr. Management.

Had a great time of visiting and dining, followed by the customary cudos for "a job well done" ... like my son, Paul, there have been times of frustration, times of feeling under-appreciated, times of just wanting to quit.  But, I am a professional ... and I also have an obligation to support my family ... so I continue moving forward.

One person asked me what was the most memorable event of my 4.5 years in Angola.  I surprised him and everyone when I said (without hesitation) ... getting married.  You see, I came to Angola single ... but I am leaving married ... not with an Angola girl ... but with a very beautiful and supportive Indonesian lady.

I have grown a lot over the past 4.5 years ... I have evolved.  I am not perfect .... but I have moved forward.  And, now, it is time to move on ... first Decy (this weekend) and soon me (in late August).

In closing, we received two parting gifts from the company.  The first was a set of paintings of Angolan musical instruments from the moderately famous Angolan painter Kabongo.  The second a 2 ft tall hand carved statue of the pensador (the thinker).  How very appropriate ... a balance of "reflection" and creativity ....

ciao ciao

"sometimes....life's okay."

-modest mouse

'I got an 'A' in spelling,' Tony told his father.  'You dope!' he replied. 'There isn't any 'A' in 'spelling'!'

We're grilling out! Mark your calendars for 6:30p.m. on Tuesday, August 1st.  That is NEXT TUESDAY.  Join us for burgers and hot dogs at the BCM.  After we eat, we will be heading to play putt-putt at GO USA.  The cost will be $6 per person.  This will be our last big event before school starts.

i'm back& with a whole new out look on life! new hair, new style& my art world is expanding greatly. i have a 10% discount at sugaree's, was 20% but that's a whole other story. i start college& my realtionship with my boyfriend has grow to two years now.

everything is wonderful. everything.

Check out the pics from this past weekend. Some awesome friends got to come chillax at the lake for the weekend. Thanks to everybody for making it a success!

I have too many books for my single bookshelf.
[So naturally, instead of extending my literary collection to a random wall-display-shelf-thing, I put my magazines on display.  All three complete years of monthly issues, plus an additional half-year of 2oo2, and another random one from 2oo1.  It makes sense.]

And the cat is on Valium.  Again.  He walks just like a little drunkard [one covered with black fur] -- it's so sad!  "I'm from Scotland, here's my mother's telephone number," and all.

New Current Favourite Quote:
Never give up what you want most for what you want right now.

Live it, love it, serve it on toast, etc.

Come on, MTSU, a little room assignment action would be wonderful.  Thank you.

OH!  Haircut.  Thursday.  I am so excited.  You have no idea.  It's been too long.  This whole "growing out" concept is a pain.  XP  Blech.  Snippy-snippy!

YES!!! the new hillsong ep!!!

I think this is my favorite one of my newest picture...

hip hip hooray!!!!! im 14 and 2 days old today!!!!! IM NOT REALLY SURE WHEN MY PARTY WILL BE!!!! I GOT MY AMERICAN EAGLE ALL ACCESS PASS YESTERDAY SO I WAS GREATLY EXCITED!!!! I HAVE A GRAND THOUGHT...... KELLY NEEDS THE UPSTAIRS ROOM.......AND I KNOW THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT FEELS THIS WAY!!!!!

One dream for me
Just one little dream.
Scared inside
But you never see.
I fell through chains and glass
Things that will never pass.
I felt the pain
It felt so real.

Then I felt like sleeping on air...
No, wait...I just woke up.

No pain just scared.
I feared for my life
I wondered if I really lived through.
Just the thought of it made me want to scream.
Now, my dreams are back to haunt me.

I got up early today so I'd have time to yell a bit before Mommy came to get me.  Just when I started yelling, Mommy woke up and came and got me.  She's a sneaky mommy.

Daniel's fever this morning is 102.  Mom says that if he's acting normally, then I should just treat the fever.  As she pointed out, with so many antibiotics in his system, there's no way it's anything bacterial.  That means it's most likely a virus, and there's nothing we can do for a virus but treat the symptoms.

I got up early today so I'd have time to feel human before the baby yelled at me to come and get him.  He was yelling when I woke up.  He's a sneaky baby.  I burnt my tongue on my coffee.  This is hardly the worst thing these days, but it still hurts.  Wah.

ok here is the deal....
3 day untill i leave to go to the lake
and a week from this sunday to mye birthday
and i still dont know what i want....><
i am going to talk to justin for ideas for my birthday
but it might now work....sooooo grrrrrrrrrrr....
but any who i'll figure it out.... so yeah.... but i real want some but have no clue yet....so yeah...
it's making me made cuz i dont know......
well anyways i am out

                    megan

                    megan

Well today was a whopper of a day.  I got up late because I didn't hear
my alarm.  I got stressed out thinking of all the things that I need to
get done, but won't have time for.  I tried to get off work for a bible
study that I was supposed to play drums for the worship for, but was
unsuccessful.  I had to replace the tags for my dad's car at a place in
the square that I drove all over looking for (he gave me the wrong
directions on accident).  I stood in a really long line for what only
took several minutes to actually accomplish once it was my turn, only
to find out that I could have used a drive thru to complete the
transaction in half the time without the wait.   I went to work and was
placed in a position that I've never worked before, and had to learn on
my own.  I stayed late closing with Danielle and #2 (the manager),
because I felt obligated to help with what was supposed to be my job
until the owner switched us at the last minute.  I say all that to say
this.  Every day people post about how bad they have it unless their
day was practically perfect.  Well.  My day didn't exactly have many
high points at all, but imagine if my post read something like this
(which is all true)......


Today was great!  I got some extra sleep because my alarm clock allowed
me some extra sleep.  I ended up not getting to do the gig tonight
because I had to work, but I do need the money anyway.  I drove around
for a while in the square trying to find the place to renew your tags. 
I asked this really nice guy how to get there, and he showed me exactly
where to go.  When I got there, I was in heaven, because it was very
air conditioned, and the lady at the desk was really nice to me. 
Everything there worked out fine.  I met up with Steph, and we went to
Wal Mart and messed around, and then went to my house to watch a movie
with my brother.  I needed some time with her.  I had to work tonight,
and I got to get plenty of hours there.  I had some good conversations
with people, and I think I brightened some peoples days.  All in all I
had fun today.


Now didn't the second version make you happier?  I don't know.  I guess
that I'm just sick of people writing how depressed and bad they have
it.  Life isn't fair a lot of the times.  The Bible says very clearly: 
"In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing."  Now I
know that I'm guilty of this alot.  I don't wanna be though.  Let's be
positive.  Being negative makes us no different than the rest of the
world.   Making sense to anyone?  Is it just me?

I know this is long, but just remark pretending like you read it.  ;)

Isn't it amazing that every life, no matter how mundane, is infinitely important?  Why is it that we can be so discouraged by our ineffectiveness, our inabilities, and our seeming "unimportance" that we forget the fact that our very existence as an individual irrevocably changes the future of the universe.  It's something cool to think about.

I cut off all my hair........it is as long as it was back when I was a freshman in high school..........

I haven't taken pics yet but will as soon as I get batteries for my camera

VISION #1 - Last night, on the way home .... saw yet another corpse.  It appears somebody was travelling at a high rate of speed down the wrong side of a divided street.  Victim never had a chance.

VISION #2 - This morning, on the way to work ... two pigs (swine) digging through the garbage beside the road.

REFLECTION - May God grant me the strength to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, the widsom to know the difference.

I must confess...

I think I have a crush on someone.

Well, I finished my last day at DQ today, yet it was not without frustration. When employees leave DQ, and are in good standing with the management it is customary for the owner to buy the leaving employee a cake. I did not receive one.

I'm not sure if I have ever felt as under appreciated as I have in my time at DQ. I feel as though I have been under payed, overworked, and under appreciated. When an employee works somewhere for a year, is never late, and NEVER misses a shift, and only called in sick twice you would think this employee would be valued. Especially since this is EXTREMELY rare behavior for a fast food employee. I also can work every position (Grill, Chill, Front and Drive through) while most only work one or two positions. So, being "valued" as I am I got a raise. I got a raise to a whopping $6 and hour. While other people I work with (Rebecca included) get far superior raises in a much shorter amount of time.

Why does someone who only works drive through, and only works it for a month, get a 75 cent raise?

I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting, but I feel extremely.... abused.
Like they saw that I wasn't going to quit because of my low pay so they
decided that they wouldn't give me one. I hate when I try to do the
right thing and I get stepped on for it.

1Peter 2:19--For God is pleased with you when, for the sake of your conscience, you patiently endure unfair treatment.

I'm gonna be a disco dancing booger on Wednesday!!!!

How is it that you go from being a beatnik to a hippie to a booger in the space of 2 days?

We went to the Goodwill to find something for WNL and mom finds this green and white disco dress (which I hereby christen the booger gown). She swears up and down it'll fit one of us, and sure enough it fits me. Why can't I have suddenly gained 45 pounds?!!???!!?!?!

Crushes.

That's how everything begins. A glance, a touch that
sparks emotion. It sends the signal to your brain that is electric. And
then your brain sends a signal to your heart that makes you feel warm
and fuzzy. It starts out so small, but it can develop into so much more…

The
sustained eye contact that sends messages back and forth. It makes
those dusty butterflies in your stomach shake of their wings and
flutter. The lump in your throat rises. The red in your cheeks shows
off is rosy hue. Your legs weaken, you don't know what to do with your
hands, and suddenly you care about how you look.

The
accidental touch that sends chills up your spine. It makes you stop and
indulge. Makes you turn and think, "Did…did that…did that really
happen—to me? Wow." Savor every memory. You look over at them and
everything else disappears. The hairs on the back of your neck stand
upright.

The look, the feel that everything's alright.

It
grows on you. The comfort you feel when you're around them. Knowing
you'll always have someone to hold you tight, to make you feel
complete. Someone you can talk to for hours or sit with in silence
forever. The dependence begins.

Mutual habits begin to form,
things are understood. You feel secure in anything—with them. When you
are without the other, you aren't the only one that notices. You
delight yourself in the knowledge that when they are gone, you'll get
to see them soon. You talk until the early morning about anything and
everything. You begin to learn love.

And then they are gone.

The problem is that the feeling that you felt and came so naturally isn't.

And
you know that whenever that one person talks to you, those same
butterflies dust off their wings once again and make you weak. Even
though you know you shouldn't, you give them trust as if nothing had
happened, and you hope that tomorrow is better than today.


My butterflies were dusted off this weekend.




<I wrote this in February, but I felt the need to repost it because it is very applicable to my life right now.  Luckily right now I'm not experiencing the sadder latter portion of the essay....hope you enjoyed.>


::b

Had the Pakistani farewell last night. Had a great time visiting with friends and eating traditional Pakistani food. Great food !!

As a parting gift Decy recieved a Serapi (?) ... wrap shawl that had a beautiful pattern ... one side was primarily greens and the other side primarily reds ... I jokingly said that meant "yes" and "no" .... regarding romance ... so Decy could merely choose which color was on the outside and I would instantly know her intention.  Decy also received a handmade necklace from S. Africa.  For me, I received a beautiful book about Pakistan ... what a wonderful looking country.

As for tonight, Tuesday, this is our official company farewell.  It is scheduled for now (rather than in August) so that Decy and the girls can attend.  I have selected the restaurant "O'caril" which is an Indian food restaurant.

... between events, I'm working 14+ hours.

ciao ciao

Pretty sure football is about to take over my life. Starting Monday its to the field house dressed and ready to go by 8  and its not over til 8 that night. thats right, twelve hours of bone crunching, gut wrenching, bone breakin smashmouth football.

Buts its good for me right?

talk to u guys later

-goodman-

"How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news." -- Romans10:15
    
                

*This quote is just for Dani....I'm so proud of my little girl!!  She's growing up and cleaning all the nasty feet!!! haha!

yes! my new ride!

im so excited!!!!=)

Okay, so it's not  100 PERCENT for sure, but I'm pretty postive, after talking to my dad just now, that when  Hooper and go down to Midland TX here in a few days, ( well, Springfiled AG headquarters first to see my old youth pastor, then texas ) I will be driving back a...

2000 HONDA ACCORD!!!
Trading it for my truck, yes, I must say goodbye to The Beast, but I'll be trading around 15-18 MPG to 23-30 MPG!

The Accord is black, four door, has 120,000 miles on it, which is NOT bad for one of the longest lasting cars in the automobile industry.  This thing will last forever before it breaks down.  I mean, IT'S AN ACCORD!!!

God is so stinking awesome!! Blessings are great!! If you can't tell, I'm excited.  I guess you'd have to drive a truck that guzzles gas like mine in times of nearly three dollars a gallon to truly understand.  And not only that, be getting an Accord, I mean, honestly, that was THE economical car out of all of them I would have asked for!
Finally, I can drive places and not be emptying my wallet all the time.

Here's somewhat what it will look like, and the different specs and such.
http://www.fueleconomy.gov/feg/noframes/15904.shtml

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add them && vote for me.

thanks love.

Yes. We had band this morning from 8 to 12 and the last hour I was shirtless.

Turns out the way to get Marissa to do everything perfect is to take your shirt off.

I think that everything from now on will be great.

Danny

I've been working out more the past few days than I've ever done before, and I feel great!  No wonder people do this stuff!  I was reading about the Navy SEALS today (one of my long-time, hidden secret dreams), and I saw that part of their physical admission test is to run 1.5 miles in 11 minutes or less.  So today when I went to work out, I decided to try for that on one of the machines.  Being my usual stupid, cocky self, I set up the machine to do the hill simulation (i.e. a lot more resistance to my feet) for the run.  I ended up running the 1.5 miles in 9.5 minutes.  I'm well on my way to SEALdom.  Of course, I'm too much of a scaredy-cat to join any branch of the military, but at least I may be capable!  If nothing else, this will help push me along the path to World Cup stardom.

Am I a dreamer?  I can't tell...

so this weekend i headed down to southern middle tennessee in the middle-of-no-where with the amish and red necks. me, amber, lauren, megan, and sarah stayed at sarah's uncle's cabin. it was fun.... so here is a photo recap for you...



us with the corn

we made the amish uncomfortable...

i considered the amish life...

and decided it is not the life for me...

after 6 l-o-n-g hours we arrived at the cabin

i took more pictures of stuff like this than the people that were there...

i had a marilyn monroe moment

we waded in the creek with the devil crawdads

had fun walking back


went to a cemetry

and tried to make a fire...
we were unsuccessful for the most part


it was fun. i don't like being out in the middle-of-no-where, but i had fun.

on another note, i got a new job as a nanny! yay! i am really excited about it!

and married life is great!

well, i need to go cook dinner! i hope everyone has a great night!

This morning, I ran out of gas in the turn lane of a big intersection.

I cried.

Later on, I went and got drug tested at the hospital for my new job.

I peed in a cup.

After my test, I walked to my car in the parking lot.

I couldn't leave.        A car was backed into mine, unmanned and seemingly abandoned.

I called my mom, dad, the police, and security.                     Finally, the cop broke into the car and moved it.

I went home.

I think I'm going to see PotC2!

Imogen Heap is the stuff.

Her record is amazing.

Everyone should go buy a copy.

Now.

thank you.

I love my dad.

I got Color Guard Captain...
WHOP WHOP

So yesterday coming home from church.. ( i kno right?)  My mother did the whole:  "YOu know that you can talk to me right?  I m here if you ever have any problems."

my reply: "I kno that mom.  we always talk?"  thinking wtf?

mom:"You and Santini are careful not to do more than kissing aren't you?"

OOOOOHHH... Thats where she is going.  Hearing things like this come out of my mothers mouth always makes me a bit uncomfortable.  She is the woman who asked my brother Mathew what "skeet" was.  There isn't anything Taboo to her. 

i just said "of course"  ;)

ahh funness. 

saw lady in the water today. it was actually pretty good and i only jumped 3 times (of course all three times jess was laughing at me but oh well.)

then jess and i went back to my house and hung out for a little while. we ended up going into the woods and after refusing to go any farther he picked me up and carried me. lol  so anyway he had to leave so he could get ready for work. 

oh and i LOVE hugs. ( : 

LANAI CITY – Police have opened up a murder-suicide investigation into the deaths of a 15-year-old girl and a 24-year-old man, both Lanai residents, found dead Saturday morning in a field.

The couple apparently had a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship but may have broken it off sometime before their deaths, according to Lt. Glenn Cuomo of the Maui Police Department’s Criminal Investigation Division.

Police would not release the names of the two victims, pending notification of family members.

The two were reported missing to authorities by their families around 8:30 a.m. Friday, Cuomo said. A community search was launched, and the victims’ bodies were found at 7:50 a.m. Saturday in field No. 5311, approximately a half mile from the Lanai Police Station.

Four Maui police detectives and an evidence technician were immediately dispatched to Lanai to investigate, Cuomo said.

He said police were investigating whether the murder-suicide was connected with a July 16 arrest of a Lanai man for 14 counts of sexual assault against a minor.

Cuomo said police believe the teenage girl and the man each died by a single gunshot, but investigators want to wait for an autopsy report to confirm the cause of death. A firearm was found at the scene, but Cuomo would not identify the type of gun or speculate on who fired the weapon.

Cuomo said police have no witnesses.

The bodies were taken to Maui Memorial Medical Center, where autopsies were expected to be conducted.

Police confirmed that the girl was a student at Lanai High and Elementary School.

Lanai Principal Pierce Meyers said he started fielding calls about the incident Saturday morning.

He said he plans to meet with the police chaplain and other officials today on how to best help Lanai students and the community as a whole.

“We recognize the need for people who are grieving,” Meyers said.

An event could be held as early as Monday night, but Meyers could not provide details until he completed his discussions with authorities.

Lanai teachers were scheduled to return to the campus Tuesday for their first official day back to school. The first day of classes for students is July 31...

that girl was probably the only person in this known world that understood
me...but now shes gone...i cant give her name out for safety purposes
just pleez i beg of you people...pleez pray for her family and friends
WHERE MY CHRISTIANS AT...DROP TO YOUR KNEES AND PRAY
PLEASE...IM BEGGIN YOU...please

Police would not release the names of the two victims, pending notification of family members.

Daniel is still sick.  In fact, his temperature spiked yesterday to 101.9.  I took him to the doctor this morning and they popped him in the leg with another antibiotic.  The shot hurts so much that they mix lidocaine in with it to help numb the area.  It didn't numb well enough, to judge by Daniel's screaming.

Since we got home, he's cried 90% of the time he's been awake, which has been a mercifully small time. 

I am about two steps away from absolutely crazy at this point.  He just won't stop crying when he's awake, and it's getting to be a bit much.  I love Daniel so much, but this is just so hard.  Parenthood needs to come with a better "how to" manual with handy chapters such as "How to not think you're a terrible parent when you can't comfort your crying child."

This is my almost set in stone schedule for next year:

Hey does anyone know who all has NFL rings in the youth group?

I'm tryin my hardest to suck it up and get my work done but i'm gonna miss everyone...

If you already don't know, I will be leaving to Texas tomorrow and will be there for 2 weeks straight and will not be returning until August 8th :{

But yesterday was awesome! Amanda taught Sunday school and it was awesome. I could tell the class was in tune with it and a few of their toes got stepped on...in a good way. If there is a good way?!?!

Last night me and Terry talked... i've been tryni to get a hold of him but every attempt has come to a dead of complete with failure. So if you see him Wed. night (cause obviously i won't be here) please let him know i need to talk to him and give him my cell #... if you don't know my cell #... Karus does and Specca does and Jaime does... i'm not sure if anyone else does but every day i am suprised by things god has put in my temporary path.

I will be finishing up the primer and painting in my room when we get back from Texas... and i am thinking for the accent colors a Light/Warm Taupe... a Deep Teal... and a Warm Orange.. sort of reminds me of Arizona..but i likie!...any other ideas post and i will try to check.

To everyone who is going to Fine Arts without Moi... I wish i could be there! I thought i would be home for the next 2 weeks but plans change...

Semi-unknown fact: i have missed all of the Wed. Night lives of this summer! : { ... i missed the one in june due to kids camp and am gonna miss the one this week due to the trip to Texas.

Man.. i hate it when this happens...the people you are tryin to get ahold of... well you used to have your number in your address book but you've lost it... you also had it in your phone but accidentaly deleted it... thought you could try to contact them through phusebox but they don't have one... :{

Well, I'll Miss yall and will see ya when i get back for Texas... for the past... Longest time ever...i went to My grandparent's house while they lived in California like for months at a time... but those months seemed like weeks because i didn't have friends to come home to...but ever since i moved here... 2 weeks seems like forever because i have friends that actually get along with...and guys i am friends with... :{ i'm really gonna miss you guys and i'm sorry if i didn't get a chance to say bye to you sunday night... i tried my hardest to say bye to everyone there...

Well i'm already counting down the days until i get back!

Love always... Krista

Hey,

I am going to be gone to Texas for 2 weeks starting tomorrow! So...Please say hi to everyone for me when i am gone! and for those of you that are going to Orlando for Fine Arts...I hope you do good and have fun!

Love ya please remark me about this blog and also about my last one!

LoVe Ya,

Emily

And the day's only half over!

So this morning I got up at the crack of 7:20 to accompany the lovely Rachel Carlton (see below) to her senior pictures.  She looked amazing - of course - and her pictures should turn out very well.

Haha... random mom of another kid getting pictures thought that we were sisters becaues we "look alike."  Which I guess we kind of do.  We've talked before about trying to con people into believe we were sisters.

I felt pushy.  As we were walking around the outdoor area, we came to stop near the big barn / truck / gas pump thingy.  I said to Rach, "I think they want to take a picture of you with the gas pump."

To which Rachel replied, "I hope not."

So the photographer says, "Let me get over here by this gas pump."

As they were posing her, I made sure to say really loud so the photographer could hear, "Rachel, do you not want to do this one?"

They moved her to a pretty fence with some bamboo.  Much better.

After pictures it was time for breakfast!  Slash lunch.  Carlton had coffee.  She decided that they brought her a glass of water to keep her creamers cold.

Gah it's only noon!  My day isn't anywhere near done yet and already I've had a blast.

Well I am feelling better. Just had a break down the other day, so but now i feel almost normal. I still feel like something is missing, just like a hole. But maybe it will go away in time there is no true way to know......COMMENT PLEASE

i swear i love having a mechanic for a boyfriend. it took them two days but it was actualy only SEVEN HOURS that it took them to take out my motor and put my new one in. it's AH-MAZING. and my ac feels sooo good. it was a good thing that they did it now too, both of my motor mounts were broken when they took my motor out. and if u are wondering exactly what the hell a motor mount is it is basically just a weird lookin metal bracket that holds ur motor up. and considering that BOTH of mine were broke i'm pretty damn lucky that just driving down the street my motor didn't fall the fuck out lol. clayton said if we had gone about another month before we did it that my motor prolly woulda just locked up whcih would've been REALLY bad. u should heard him tho. he was like my ex-girlfriend couldn't even get me to change her oil much less come 200 miles and spend two days changing out a damn motor! ha. that's great. and rene is a bitch. (the ex girlfriend) and other than that i've got nothing extremely interesting to say....oh wait yeah i do! my big sis might be having a baby!!  i might be an aunt for the 8th time! (and i'm not talking about christie, my OTHER big sis, stacee nicole) ok so yeah i'm done. and since i just woke up i am in DESPERATE need of a tooth brush, ciao bitches.

Everything in life comes to an end...
Even life itself.
But love lasts forever...
Never dying...never ending.

I think that everyone has a little piece of God in them; everyone has some aspect of His character that they are meant to present to you in your life.

 

Some people are joy. When they enter the room you can’t help but to return their smiles.

 

Some people are peace. With their arms around you the world disappears and everything is at rest.

 

Some people are strength. They will lend you a shoulder or carry you for as long as you need.

 

Some people are love. There is nothing that you can do to make them stop loving you.

 

Everyone is different, but I think that sometimes you will find that their gifts are the same . . . and we often surround ourselves with those who emanate the qualities that we have the greatest need for.

 

We’re all hopelessly interconnected.

 

So while I am gone this week I want you to look for the pieces of God in the people around you. Who is wisdom? Forgiveness? Love?

 

Who am I?

 

Who are you?

Life is starting to change much faster than I want it to.

photo from armand_luver

I want to be this girl
one I knew back in middle school
I wanna look like her
Dress like her
have her outward attitude
have her friends
have her security
and strong belief in something good
hm...

Well, tonight at church was fun.  The youth Bible study time was done as a panel discussion about predestination, and I got to be on the panel.  One question that was raised that we did not address (mainly because I raised it) was this: What is evil?  With the predestination discussion, something with clear lines drawn, the kids in the crowd were in over their heads, so we all knew this one was too deep for them, so we didn't talk about it.  But I'm going to do so now.  This is a sort of monologue, and I would love some input from others who read this.

Evil itself is difficult to define.  It's an idea.  For me to say something or someone is evil means that that thing or person has done something from which no good can come.  I'm beginning to rethink this definition, however, as I'm finding that good repercussions can come from the most dastardly things.  For example: the destruction of the WTC.  This was a terrible thing, and I used to say it was evil.  However, good came from that.  Had the WTC not been destroyed, I would not have begun evaluating my life, and would not be nearly as in-depth into spirituality and philosophy as I am.  This trait of mine is what drives me to succeed in my various endeavors; ergo, had the WTC not been bombed, I would not have retained my scholarships and remained in school.  Believe it or not, I can prove that.  Now, look at the ripple effect.  While I'm at school, I am allowed multiple roles for friendship, service and leadership in which I can spread love to others.  Had the WTC not been bombed, I would not be able to see Daniel again; hell, I probably never would have even gotten to know anyone at Tech, much less ever seen more than a picture of Daniel.  Because of how I was affected by the WTC disaster, the last 5 years or so of my life have been irrevocably changed.  There is no way at all to be able to determine who or where I would be right now.  I would say that I have been changed positively by that, meaning that, since a good change came out of it, it is not an evil thing.

Even beyond that, the Bible tells us that "All things work together for good for them who love the Lord, to them who are the called according to His service."  Wouldn't that mean that there is no evil at all?

Looking beyond this, we can take in the possibility of relativism on the scale of evil.  Because I was positively influenced by the WTC thing, I would say it wasn't evil.  However, because someone else was negatively influenced, they may say that it was.  By this, I mean that the effect that an occurence or person has on another person determines the evilness/goodness of that occurence/person in relation to the receiver of the action.  To the Jews in the Holocaust, Hitler was evil, because he condoned their deaths.  To me, Hitler is not evil, because his political prowess has helped me to develop my own rhetorical skills.  I do not believe that this is a true system.

So, excluding relativism and pragmatism in regards to evil, with what am I left?  We can always drift back to the black/gray/white areas, allowing a set code of moral guidelines to determine what is evil, but, as I stated last night, I am not really feeling that one right now.


I suppose that I could look at what evil is not.  Let's presuppose that Man is capable of holding an unconditional love for all other Man.  In this environment of ucl (unconditional love), let us suppose that Man would live by the Smith/Nash ideal that Man would do what was best for himself and the group because preserving the strength of the group would preserve the safety and stability of the individual.  In this world, there would presumably be no evil.  However, what if, to insure the preservation of the group, one man had to kill himself?  Not only would this defeat his goal of protecting himself, but it would defeat his goal of preserving the group because the loss of an individual lessens a group.  We are then left with a paradox of which good is less good - the suicide or the survival.  Looking into the ripple effect of this, his suicide would cause everyone else to fail in preserving the group; however, if his suicide would in fact help to preserve the group, they would be guilty of non-preservation by allowing him to live.  In the end, everyone is right and everyone is wrong no matter what he does.  That sucks.


Okay, switching gears.  With many of the suppositions about God, let's look at evil and its relationship with Him and Man.

1. God knows everything.
If God knows everything (is omniscient), then He knew, before creating Lucifer, that he would rebel.  He knew, before creating Man, that he would rebel.  He knew that, if He put the tree in the garden, Lucifer would tempt Man and Man would sin.  Why, then, would God do it?  Some say to give Man the choice.  There would be no choice if God had not created it.  Therefore, God created the choice between good and evil, purity and sin, for Man.  If we charge a man for giving a loaded gun to a child and watching the child shoot itself, we should charge God for giving us evil, knowing we would choose it.

2.  God does not know everything
If God does not know everything, then He is an unreliable source for any hope or promise, and may as well have just made us evil in the first place.

3.  God predestines every action
If God predestines/foreordains/whatevers every action, then He caused Satan and Man both to sin.  Therefore, God created evil.

In all of these scenarios, God is as guilty, if not more so, than Man in the introduction of evil into the world.  Unless God is evil, there must be something else behind all of it.  If nothing else, this raises the age-old question: Why is Man here?  If Man was doomed from the start, then can there really be an answer to that question, besides "To be doomed."?

Okay, here's an epiphany I just had: the Bible teaches that, to God, all sin is equal, whether it is telling a little white lie to a dying senior citizen or murdering a nursery full of babies.  We ascribe varying degrees of evil to these things.  To God, there is no evil as we see it.  There are just things that are contrary to His nature, which is a self-sacrificing love.  In the aforementioned society of ucl, had they lived as God, meaning in a society in which they preserved the group at possible detriment to the self, then the groups chances for survival would drastically increase if individuals focused entirely on the group, meaning that if the team works as a team all the time, the loss of individuals will not be as costly as it could be.

Evil is something not motivated from a self-sacrificing, unconditional love.

Please, discuss.

So I got to thinking the other day, about life and friends and stuff like that. 

I mean i got to wondering am i really who i want to be??

am i missing out on something great because im to scared to go after something i want?

i mean you all about these people who do all these crazy things and i wonder what is it like to actually do them and not be scared of whats going to happen. 

i mean is there any advantages to living without being scared of the consequences or is it better to live safely?? 

anybody willing to try and answer this question for me???

So I started my new job two weeks ago and it's okay. i work at sonic and i have made a ton of money in tips. i bought more horror films, three to be percise but thats about all that i've spent my money on.  i am actually looking forward to school starting, i know i know, thats practically unamerican.  but, i really can't wait to see all of my friends again before i leave home for good to go to college. i am already starting to worry about that. there is soo much stuff to do, i have to apply for college and for scholarships and i am worried that i shall fail miserably at anything and everything school related.

                                     

kaitlin got a puppy!
pictures later..

going to journalism camp in the morning
boooring..

remarks?!
call my cell;;
ill be bored =)

well, band starts tomorrow.

are you guys ready to give up the rest of your summer?

are you ready to dedicate your time to keeping your toes up and staying in step?

are you ready to drink gatorade like there's no tomorrow?

are you ready for all those pulled muscles, bruises, and sun burns?

are you guys ready to rock this season?

good.

cause i am.