o all-knowing jones soda bottle top, what is your life lesson for us today??

on another note!!!
i got fun new clothes!!! i wore em to church today!!

not sure i like that picture... anywho...

shopping is so much funner without sales tax.

today i spent $99.08.

on....

1 pair of flip flops.

1 pair of black pumps.

7 shirts.

1 jacket.

and 3 pairs of jeans.

im pretty excited.

cause its all cute stuff.

and i didnt go over my $100 dollar budget.

my parents were like well we spent like over 500 bucks for us to go to HLUB. [200 for me && my sister && another like 200-300 for like stuff for the trip there, while we were there, && on the trip back && also for like food there && stuff. yeah.] so apperently this year we had a bugdet for like the first couple of weeks of school clothes, and that was 100 bucks. and i think i got a lot out of that 100 bucks.

usually 1 pair of jeans is like 70, but no this time i had to learn how to budget && not spend all my parents money on a pair of jeans or something.

budgeting is hard. i dont like it. but im proud of myself for getting as much stuff as i could out of 100 dollars. :D

i can't believe it! I'm finally a senior and i can't get that out of my head. it's weird, yet it's incredibly exciting to know that i will be moving on in life very soon. (i know May dosen't seem that soon but time flies when you aren't paying attention.) i remember starting school last year and thinking that senior year was ages away....i can't believe i thought that! it seems like the past year was just a blink and here i am sitting at my computer two days before i begin my last year of highschool wondering where it all went. don't get me wrong, i am happy to be graduating, thrilled actually, but i wonder if the rest of my life will pass by in the blink of an eye.

Why do I have to live in the middle of nowhere?

This would be much easier if my mom found a way to get a job midstate, or I had the money to come back there for good.

But no. No, I have to live in the middle of nowhere.

Coming up on Tuesday, won't see most of you before Thursday, but if you have the #, call then, and we'll do something.

Life is strange, but it's fantastic. Everything seems to be going extremely well now, and for a change I'm really happy. In September Kenny is going to be leaving Arizona to move to Virginia. He'll be in Tennessee at some point as a stopping over. I'm exited about that.

Good news for Ms. Mackey too. They convicted Kyle gilley of First degree murder, so she is finally seeing justice done for her daughter after 22 years.

So much to blog, so little time to do it (especially with connection problems in Angola).  Went on the Luanda Hash yesterday (Saturday).  Had a great time ... its quite a diversion.  Even sold about 10 t-shirts, which is normally Decy's job.  I will hand over that responsibility next weekend.  I am also responsible for the mailing list (email and YahooGroups of course) ... which I will hand over this week.

About the hash, it was great. we were out on a penisula ... ran along the beach, through houses, past sunken ships, said hi to the three little pigs (really), looked at a jet plane in the "park", and yadi yadi yadi.

Once again, I had problems with the kilo driver to take me home ... it was bad enough that I had a dinner I was supposed to be at ... at 700pm ... but when I can't find my kilo and call dispatch ... and they say (at 630pm) ... where are you?  We will send a kilo ... that really blows my mind ... given that (a) they dropped me off at 1230pm and I asked the driver to explain to dispatch exactly where I was, (b) I called dispatch at 330pm to organize a pickup at 530pm and reconfirmed the location, (c) the kilos deposited 5 other company employees at the exact same site I was at, and (ahem) ... (d) there were vehicles waiting for the other five folks  .... urggghhh ... ANGOLA !!!!  I arrived at the dinner at 8pm ... after jumping in somebody else's vehicle.

Had a great dinner with KC and Lydia Yap, good Malaysian friends of mine.  They also had over Drew and Debbie Bishop, whom I work with very closely, Pauline (a very good friend of Decy's and mine) and King (?) whom I've never met before.  Had an absolutely great dinner of Malaysian food ... and then went on to karaoke.  Debbie refused to sing. Drew tried, but held back, Pauline did great ... but had to leave early.  So, KC, Lydia, King and I decided to carry forward the activities.

Now for those of you that don't know/participate in karaoke ... each machine is different (scoring, for example), each music is different (even on the same songs), and often the translations are in error (such as saying "eres tu" as "e restu").  BUT, it is fun anyway.  So ... there were lots of scores in the 80s and 90s ... then suddenly King and I get a 100 ... well, that blew everybody away ... so Drew taunts us about a repeat performance ... a few songs later ... King and I get another 100.  Well, that shut Drew up (seriously, I like Drew a lot and see more of him than I do Decy ... as his office is right next to mine).  After the folks leave, KC and I are playing around ... and we score a 100 on some song.  Hey man ... three 100s.  Can you believe that?  I can't. That machine must be broken ..... BUT, it sure fed my ego !!!! - Thasya, eat your heart out !!!!

Woke up this morning to a ringing phone.  Decy was trying to reach me from Indonesia ... even though I sent her an email at ~230am my time .. she wanted to call me bright and early. Took care of that. Then went back to sleep. She called me an hour later.  Seems that JIS called her (on Sunday) about placing Thasya ... so, presumably that means she has been accepted.  Still didn't get the official word on Thasya nor Chely ... so that is Priority #1 Monday morning.

Decy and the girls went to Ciputat today (Sunday). Ciputat is a burb of Jakarta ... and where they lived before coming to Angola; we have a small (but beautiful) house there that Decy designed and had built. They spent the day with the family. Don't have all the info, and maybe the girls will blog more for us ... but I think they learned (and saw) that you can never "go back".

For me, today. I continued working on the move/packing ... double checking closets, throwing away items of little value.  Found a duffle bag of pics ... including ones from the boys first trip overseas to Colombia in 1997.  Wow ... memories ... love ... pain ... loneliness (those are my feelings, not the boys).  Even found some pics of friends that are now passed away.  This moving stuff really hurts !!!!

One thing is certain ... just like the house is "empty" without Decy and the girls ... so is my life ....

ciao ciao

I was so going to type something worthwhile here.

Really.

Hahaha, oh yeah.  My horoscope.  *Crickets*  ...Buuut only a few people know how it pertains to life, so is it really worthwhile?

Why the hell not.  [Means no.  Means 'let's do it anyway and sound all mysterious-like for no apparent reason.']

Positive developments regarding whatever work you do could cause you to form very strong bonds with the people whom you've been working with, dear Scorpio. The astral energy brings opportunities to demonstrate not only what you can accomplish together, but how much affection you have for one another. The fact that your incomes are all going to increase certainly doesn't hurt! Expect to begin planning new projects already. It's good to do this while the enthusiasm is still high.

Bwahaha.  Enthusiasm.  That means coffee!

Coffee-coffee-coffee-coffee-coffee.

k, so i posted this on my myspace and liked it so i decided to put it on phusebox. I worked really hard on this even if it doesnt look like it.  feedback is appreciated:

Im on the outside of my mind

Trying to see into the inside through a frosted window

I look for a door but theres not one in sight

Through the window I see movement

Is this me?  I take one more look

 

There are all these emotions flying around

And I cant seem to stop them

I try to get rid of them

But they just come back in the end

 

Im on the outside of my heart

Trying to see through all of the shields

That ive put up

I try to follow my heart but I cant hear what its saying

In the end

 

Im trying to find myself

But I cant seem to find myself

Through all these layers

Which are real?

 

But ill find myself eventually

Oh ill find myself eventually

Cuz ive got you.

Pretty much the worst movie ever !!! I hated it. Especially beign a racing fan it makes it look like all racing fans are a bunch of drunks which ain't true at all. The gay driver from France named Jean. Thats just wrong. Especially the kissing scene at the very end. I would have loved to leave but I was with a friend and didn't have my car. Will Ferell does it again and makes another awful movie.

I'll admit there was a FEW, very few, but few times in which i did laugh.

I've been to Talladega prolly 6 times in my life to watch Nascar races and of those 6 times I've never seen a guy run out of his car thinking he was on fire and take of his racing suit and is running around in his underwear. NEVER !!

To me as a  Christian you cannot laugh at homosexual jokes and things that are innappropriate and stuff that alot of people sturggle with in life. Its not right. If you do laugh its kinda like what society is doing just shrugging their shoulders and just accepting it.

finally.

it was fun.

i liked it a lot.

i have a lot of pitures.

will upload later.

today is the last tax free shopping day :D

i am going shopping.

kutless live is amazing.

I have been thinking within the last five minutes about the Anti-Christ. If the end times are near does that mean that the antichrist is growing up right now? Is he going to college? or is he younger than that, maybe he plays soccer with his friends. Does he have friends? Is he inherently evil even as a child? Does he have a girlfriend? It is really wierd to think that maybe the Man who will one day be incarnated by Satan himself is currently making friends, going to school, or maybe working in an office, does he know that he is the antichrist? Does he preform satanic rituals when he is alone? What kind of person is he? Is he easy to get along with? Who Knows?

it's three AM & i've been thinking. i think it's late in the night when my mind runs wild & is at it's peak in thoughts.
they say you know you're in love when you don't need your dreams to paint the perfect picture of your ideal love affair because your reality is so much better. well, truth be told, i think i'm in my own kind of real dream world of love.
in my personal opinion, i think there are many different kinds of love. there's love for your families, love for your friends, love for your god, & just plain old love. & also, i can almost break down plain old love into two categories. i think you can fall in love with somebody & it not be true, but it's also love. understand? like, you can fall in love with somebody who isn't your true love. i believe you can only have one true love, & that's your significant other. that one person you belong with; the one you're created to love. & i think you're made to love only them. but sometimes i think we fall in love with not necessarily bad people, but the wrong people. people we're not supposed to spend the rest of our lives with. & that's love, but not true love.
i think it's very important to guard your heart so you can prevent yourself from the heartbreak that may follow as a result of falling in love with the wrong person. every time you fall in love you give the person you love a part of your heart that you will never get back. everyone you love has pieces of your heart that belong to them because you gave them the right to take it from you. so if you find your true love but you have also previously fallen in love with somebody else, it's going to be a tough obstacle to overcome. just think, if you had spent all your life waiting for your one true love & had protected your heart all those years & were ready to give it to someone special, & you got to that point but your significant other can't give you their whole heart because somebody else has already taken it from you. i don't know about you, but i would feel robbed. that's my love, not theirs.
i think it's important to think about these things.
so maybe this love is my true love. maybe it isn't. i'm not sure right now. but i don't think it's always a good thing to be sure this early. i think i'll grow to be sure of what my answer is. & that's okay with me.

i think i'll go to sleep now.

Hey guys check out the link below.  I made a video and am looking for feedback.  PEace.!

My Video!!!

Tyler and I have been together for five months now, as of August fourth. We have matching rings. :-)

I love him.

My personality is a funny thing, always bitterly engaging people with their problems and/or idiosyncrasies, while afterward complaining to the lot of those victims my own sad, isolated state.  My personality's strange character can not be trumped by my intelligence.  When all you can do is to silently sough in prayer while crying to God on a basketball court and still not understand what life was supposed to be in last two years and not predict what life will be in the next two, you're at a quandary...and I am.  Still, I could raise the bar of my existence by not being a smartass, if I truly want that.

SARAH:  (is about five and a half hours into working seven hours on saturday of tax free weekend)

PHONE:  (vibrates in back pocket of my pants)

SARAH:  (jerks violently and makes an awkward squeaking noise)

PHONE: 1 New Message from Carlton

NEW MESSAGE FROM CARLTON:  no tax day = soul sucking vortex of doom

SARAH:  (laughs heartily only so that she does not weep at the despair that is this day)

...And scene.  Seriously, no joke.  The people at the Cookie Store that have been working there a while said that today was busier than Black Friday.  (You know, the day after Thanksgiving where most businesses make it into the black for the first time all year?  Moving on.)

From about 1 PM until I got off at 8 PM we had every employee but one working in the store.  First it was everyone except Maja, and then it was everyone except Amanda. 

That's seven or eight hot bodies crammed into a tiny store with two huge ovens burning at 400 degreees.

I only almost fainted two or three times. 

When I started getting so light headed I couldn't even add pennies... I decided to go sit in the bathroom, which was 20-30 degrees cooler than the rest of the store.

One good thing, though.  Virginia did make sure that everyone got their full break.  So that means I had half an hour to sit in ODB ("Jesus Bread" as it is known to mall employees) munching on a turkey sandwich and the world's best brownie.

After work, I hung out in ODB until they closed all the curtains.  With me still in the store, of course, because I'm that special.  I left so they could clean up and I swung in Hot Topic where my Stevie was working.  I got to chat with him about his playa-ness and I got him to hold a couple of shirts for me until I get paid on Monday.

After that was a fantabulous trip to Marble Slab with Carlton!  Peanut butter banana ice cream with vanilla wafers and banana chunks just might be the best thing in the whole wide world.  Or it would be, if you added some caramel to the mix.

We lounged around outside talking about the hilarious people we know and the hilarious things they do.  'Twas amazing.

Now, though, I am sleepy.  I think it is time for me to go beddy-bye.

hey i think you're cute
would you like to be my new best friend?
we can talk for hours or just lay in bed
you're just the kind of kid i could grow old with
so won't you walk with me to the park up the road
i told you that i'd be right back
you said that i'll be the judge of that
'cause see boys they have a tendency of running from me
as fast as they can i don't know why
and i just laughed and asked if you'd like a coke or some sort of assorted beverage from the diner up the road
if so, you should walk with me
feel free to hold my hand
feel free to kiss me on the cheek even though i'd prefer the lips

hey i think you're groovy
would you wanna see a movie with me?
we can sit in uncomfortable seats and eventually
i'll get the nerve up to put my arm around you
can i put my arms around you?
'cause i'd sure like to
it'll be like an episode of boy meets world
except without the commercials
and i'm just fine with that
how about you?
i like the way you talk
i like your died black hair
i love your halfass accent you stole from the foreign movies
i like your pretty eyes
and how you're afraid of the dark
well i am too, so would you like to take a walk with me
through a well-lit park just up the block
i'll be the bright side of your bad day
i'll be the bright side of your bad nights
i'll be the bright side of your bad day
if you'll be mine

"Hey"
 Backseat goodbye ♥

...

what do you say to someone when it needs to be said but you dont want to ruin a friendship?

    ok... well I didn't keep the ring, it ended up being about twice as much as the one that I picked out. When I called I told them I didn't just want to keep this one if it was a mistake and I asked them what they would like to do about it they informed me that since it was their mistake I could, if I decided to, keep the ring. It was tempting, but really it is something for me to wear all the time and I really didn't buy the ring they gave me. My dad and I decided, and I expressed to the sales associate that if it would be possible for them to have the ring that I was supposed to get sized and ready today so that I could pick it up before my trip then I would trade it out, but if not then I would just keep the one that they had given me. They assured me that they would make it happen. So I picked up my very elegant but slightly more practical ring this afternoon and I like it more than the one of slightly greater value and more ornate one.


This picture doesn't do it justice... the ruby is actually the same size as the first ring but is turned in the opposite direction so that it runs long-wise with the ring instead of being perpendicular to it. It is gorgeous! If you see me you should definatly ask to see it :-) I'd be happy to show it off :-)
Love y'all have a great night

Love in its weakest form is an emotion.

i like am falling for this guy && yeah i dont even really know him. but hes really cute && he has that personality. but yeah his best friend likes me. && yeah i dont really feel the same way for his friend. but yeah i just cant get him out of my head && yeah hes just wonderful. only bad thing.. hes got a girlfriend. && yeah me && her dont really come at best terms.<33

so today my friend lisa and i went shopping and it was awesome, i spent a little over one hundred dollars and saved a bundle. i love the outfits that i got. we went to old navy and then the mall. we ate lunch at our daily bread and then moved to kohls (spelling). i called sonic and asked if they needed me to come in and joey said no and then a few minutes later he called me back and said that they needed me. bullshit. it was slower then ever there tonight. so i got to go home early b/c adam said i could.

My schedule for next year looks something like this:

AP English IV

AP Calculus

AP Chemistry

ABLS/College Prep

Wind Ensemble

Chamber Choir

Yeah. Difficult classes with a twinge of Music.

We had the Band Banquet last night. It was more fun towards the end.

Nothing more to say.

Danny

A day in the sun = a tan. :) I love my skin tone...

Heading off to Mississippi on Monday. Which leads me to this conversation from Wednesday night...
Me: I won't be here next week. I'll be out of town visiting my grandparents.
Keith: Ah, I understand. I did that last month. But my grandparents live in the Rockies, so I really like to visit them because I love that area.
Me: My grandparents live in Mississippi. *dramatic pause* There's nothing in Mississippi.
Keith: No, there isn't.

Hope it goes well. The last visit was really rough with my grandfather (who has Alzheimer's) going downhill fast. At least I'll have a better idea what to expect this time around.

Went to Cool Springs yesterday with my mom for tax free weekend. Needless to say, it wasn't as successful as I hoped, walking away with a pair of shoes, a pair of jeans, a pair of khakis, and an umbrella. I really need several pairs of shoes that I have a hard time finding thanks to really narrow heels, one of my feet being slightly larger than the other, and the fact that I would prefer not to tromp around campus in high heels...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 "I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you"

  
 

hey everyone

i am back from east tennessee...it was a lot of fun...i am sooo tried...we just got home about an hour or two. but anywho.. it was fun and funny week. everyone had a good time.. went to galtienburge(sp) and pigon forge... man go-carting was awesome!!! i came in frist lol... it was great... got new ears when i was there... and i also smelled like lake water...lol  it was sooo much fun swimming each day and boating everyday man oh man it was fun...lol well i am out so later

               megan

p.s. tomorrow is my b-day.

 tax free weekend im going shopping...probably with my mom so give me a call on the cell if you need me or if you would like to meet up with us.much love. i guess.

Leah

~brian king we must hangout before you leave.....call.

~becky amonett we must hangout before you leave i haven't hungout with you since your b-day...call.

      I so went to the Kentucky durby.            thats barbaro.he won

i am bored out of my mind i have absolutely nothing to do anyone have any ideas

please give me an idea!!!!!!! 

I wont 2 pictures from each of my friends I all ready have some that I have wonted. but I need more 

i got a summons to be on the u.s. grand jury. kinda interesting. but unfortunately i cant do it. the un-refundable tuition has been paid. :(

but i'm going to tell them to hit me up next summer

piece

    Dad gave me my ring this morning!! But when I opened it and looked at it I was surprised! It wasn't the ring I had picked. It was one that I had looked at but that was more. Instead of a total of six xmall diamonds this one has ten. It is a beautiful ring. I asked dad if he had changed it out and he was like... "No.... why?" I told him that they must have given them the wrong one. So my dad, one to never argue about facts pulled out the contract where it said "six round diamonds" I think what happened was after he had written everything up he picked up the wrong ring... I saw him (or at the time thought I did) pick up the wrong one but thought that I must be mistaken... So know I'm going to try to call and see if what they want to do because I want to make sure that the contract will stil apply and I don't want to just keep this one and then when I need somthing done to have them tell me they can't do it. Maybe I'll get to keep this one :-) Anyway here is a picture of the ring I have right now :-)
. 

yep, nationals has finally arrived. i'm so freakin excited, last year i got to know my youth group so much more, and i cant wait for it again!!! so this is probably gonna be my last post for awhile cuz i'll be in florida (yay). unless there's a computer there that i can use, i wont post again for another weekish. so, that's all i gotta say.

Oh man... Where to start.

I haven't been on Phusebox nearly enough. So much has happened unposted.  

So this summer alot of things changed for me - I saw someone get drunk for the first time, met like 5 new kids in my nieghborhood, went on my first major youth trip, Turned 16, got license, got 4 of my friends to start comin to youth group, went to six flags for the first time, my mom finally got a  new car - a 2003 Black Toyota Avalon, some of my closest cousins moved from Louisiana to 1 mile from my house, when i get back im gettin my first car! - a '95 Forrest Green Volvo 850.

Its amazing, this summer has made me finally feel like a teenager, in good ways and bad. I feel like im gettin closer to my friends and farther from my momma's boy mentality. I still dont cuss, but im not such a stiff.

Oh ya! I'm fillin out an application for Chick-Fil-A while i'm on vacation so that when i get back i can get a job. Hopin on about 20 hours a week.

Its all good right now, I'm on vacation in Charleston South Carolina. Well right outside Charleston on James Island. There's a pool, a dock, a hot tub, we can see the full Charleston skyline. Oh man its relaxing out here.

I'm actually lookin forward to sophomore year. Some of my best friends are comin to Riverdale, and my cousin Taylor. Its gonna be a great year! Drivin myself to school is gonna be cool too. Im psyched.

<JA(OB>

PRE-CAMP is finally over... now 2 days to rest, get my body recouperated (sp), then start all over again with band camp. Started Drill last night. Our freshman are all pretty good. we have i think 13 but i dont know they all kind of mold together.

Studying for the MCAT is not a fun experience.  The biology, organic chemistry, and verbal reasoning are all lovely and happy, and I've hardly had to look at them.  Then there's the general chemistry and physics section.

Did mention that it's been over two years since I last looked at general chemistry?  Or that it's been one year since physics?  And that I hated every blasted second of both of them?  And therefore, promptly forgot both of them?

The most frustrating part is that I would like to go to a really good school.  To do this, I need to make ~12 (out of 15) on the chemistry/physics section.  On practice tests, I've averaged from 9.5-10.5 on the chem/physics--good enough to get me into ETSU (esp. with the other high scores) but not Vanderbilt, Duke, or Washington U, for example.  I can get the 9.5-10.5 by virtue of conceptual knowledge I've had repeated over and over again--and a fair number of lucky guesses.  Granted, I seem to guess consistently well every time, but I'd rather not depend on that.  The problem is in the math and the (needless!) required memorization of equations.  Does anyone actually remember the flow rate equation, or the one for free energy of a molecule, for final velocity when you don't know time, or where to place an object in front of a lens to make a virtual image three times larger than the real object?

I'm supposed to be able to recall all of this, and more, at a moment's notice.  Little to no reference of equations.  No calculator usage.  And throw in the concepts (again, that I haven't looked at in 1-2 years) on top of this.  The next two weeks (test on Aug. 19) look like one big gaping chemistry/physics-driven maw, ready to swallow me and my educational dreams whole.

So yeah......... just looking at all the financial aid oppurtunities I have........... I really want to go to UTC, but I would be away from most of my friends................. the only people I know that are going to UTC are a few Governors School people............. it is an amazing school, and the only one in Tennessee that I like that has an Honors Program.............and the scholarships I can get from that will, along with the HOPE, cover tuition and books and housing.......... I really miss the Lockmiller Apartments................. but I dont want to leave my friends behind........... especially one that I met at Governors School who wants to go to Tevecca......... I dunno what to do......... I want to go to UTC, but my heart tells me that I should hang around here.............. cause that friend is really important than me and it may become more than friendship............. comments would be very helpful, just dont tell me I need to pray, cause believe me, I am doing that one very frequently, I have taht covered, but some help from you all would be nice............. well I g2g............ it's late, and I am hosting a party tomorrow.......... God bless you all!

In Christ!

Allen

Glad this week is over - I'm really struggling to stay focused at work ... and it is very hard to relax and enjoy my time at home (with the house being empty and dismantled/ready for packing).

Today, Saturday, I will do some preparations for the move.  Then, I will go set the hash trail - we are going to have a beach run.  Then, do the hash. Then, going over to a friend's house (KC Yap) to have dinner.  Really, not a whole lot to do .... very empty without Decy.

RE the girls & Jakarta, all the testing is complete. They were both accepted into AIS (Australian International School) and we are waiting to hear on JIS (Jakarta International School).  All has to be resolved by Monday AM - which school to go to ... decisions, decisions.

Next Monday, Decy begins the house hunting work ... fun fun fun ... then after that (probably the following week) she gets to begin the car purchasing work (we need to buy 2 cars).  Wow !!! Lots of work, but a woman's dream .... shopping, shopping, and shopping.

ciao ciao.

well im sitting here thinking about a new year...a really easy one at that...

ap english
gov/econ
art 4
teachers aid (art 4)
photography
and..
yearbook

this year is going to be completely dedicated to good grades, and making art.

im kinda excited.

the only hard thing is letting go of many good friends. last year was hard and this one is going to be even harder... im going to miss all of you so much. well kiddos.. im going to go curl up in bed with good ole jane eyre..

love-kels

Tomorrow, I leave the state, so I shall not post another entry for a week at the least.  This means that what I post on here tonight will echo for a week.  I expect 1 remark, possibly 2, when I return.  I also expect 4 new friend entries, and a few photos.  No new requests will be made, but I might have a new message or two.  Anyway...

I live in fear of being good enough.  If I am good enough all of my life, I will not excel.  It's one of those "I'd rather be cold than lukewarm."  At least if I were a failure, I would be able to point at a trend and say "This is what I am."  I'd rather meet no requirements than just the minimum.

Anyway, I've got nothing to say.  I don't know why.

wow tonight was so much fun!! we had the marching band show but we didnt march becasue it rained then we had the potluck and freshman awards which was so much fun!! then we had a party at kelley's house which was even more fun like when i got there i wasnt planning on getting in the pool because it was a pool party i was just going to get my feet wet but that wasnt the case i mean everyone was in the pool!! i got in and there was this big platform thing and i got on it with like 10 other people then josh and some other guys like flipped us over and i went under!! came back up and kelley and i got on top and everyone like lifted us in the air it was scary then i fell off.  then kelley had like this boogy board thing and he like ran off the edge and like surfred on the water which i thought it was cool and i wanted to try so i did i started to run at i hit the board and like fell it was so much then i got water up my nose which like hurted alot so i stopped then me and ari got tired and decided to like lay on top of the platform and go to sleep sp we like floated around in the pool then we had to go!! but i have to say it was the most amazing night i have ever had in my life!! and now im going to go get dry later leave lots of comments!
Stephanie

nothing seems to be going wrong, but not everything is right.  u know that place?  when ur just coasting with Christ.  it seems like thats all ive been doing lately.  i have all the time in the world for him, yet i just say to myself, that i know him well enough.  what a LIE.  im just feeding off of what i know, rather than what im learning.  and it is soooo important, to be feastin daily with Christ, and honestly, that has been hard for me.  its not that i dont have the time, its that i dont  have the passion.  i need to get that back before school starts as well.  its only ganna heat up before school starts.  and once u get back in the school thing, its ganna suck.  u know it will.  u will be torn down so easily, and wonder what is going on.  be passionate in this belief.  but then again, its not even a belief, its your life.  so be strong with ur life.  and exceed all expectations.  u think u know him well enough,  well get to the point where u KNOW u know him well enough, and not think u know him well enough

and in a few weeks, dont let school get in the way of one's education - Mark Twain

So yea I have come to the conclusion that no one cares what is written here as long as it pertains to them.......so this pertains to everyone who reads it........I can't believe that a tribute to my late Great Grandmother goes unnoticed but I post about my hair gets 5 remarks......what the freaking crap........is all that you care about vain and worthless.......who gives a crap if I cut my hair or not.....its my hair why should you care.....are you people so concerned with looks that that is the only thing you care reading about.......I know I don't remark on alot of blogs that are put out that and that is because I don't have time.....I don't expect everyone in my friends list to post a remark everytime I feel like updating this little site.........but when I go through the 50 some new friend entrys and find that some people have posted blogs once every day or so then that slightly concerns me espically since nothing that appears to be said here really has much importance what so ever.......anyways no I didn't cut my hair......but then again why in the world should you care........I could make 50 heart filled post that I would like someone's opinion on and noone care......and then make a post about my hair or cutting my foot and get pleanty........wow I think I am done for now but I really think you people should consider this

so this years JROTC freshmen, atleast the ones at minicamp, friggin rock
they were all pretty cool & eager to learn
graduation went well
except for the fact i had to speak in front of eevveerrrryyoone
and i had to command the demonstartion colorguard
cuz thompson got in a wreck [she's okay :) ]
and parkhurst didn't show [travis was told this but i wasn't?]
but yeah it went well
i didn't like who trent selected as honor cadet, but that's my opinion

other news, life really sucks
i've been hanging with my rotc kids alot lately
but im hurting really bad inside
[so emo, i know]
but sean hates me again
and i miss him alot
so i'm basically SOL for now
if only what people said were true.....

i smell pastries lingering lightly, sweetly over my mouth

[subliminal messaging]

so i celebrated 18 months last week...wow that is a long freaking time!! thats ok though. pretty sure school technically starts next week..gotta go to the half day thing on thursday. that should be interesting! i can't wait to see everyone again...

*Here's to being young & crazy, taking chances on wild nights, making the best of whats around you & hanging out with your best friends..

Because I having trouble remember all I want to buy...

The Mars Volta--Amputechture

Botch--American Nervoso and We Are The Romans

Look What I Did--Minuteman for the Moment

Into Eternity--Buried Into Oblivion

The Dillinger Escape Plan--Calculating Infinity

Converge--You Fail Me 

Small list of what I'm hoping to get my hands on, mostly progressive metal or stuff usually lumped in a genre with "-core" as a suffix.

u know i cannot wait to move. most of the ppl i know in the boro haven't bothered to try and keep in touch even over the summer so i think if i can go three months without talking to them and be fine then i'll be fine moving to a different city. but it's really gonna kill me to leave my girls at work. i am gonna miss jennifer sooo much. she is like my second mother. and lori-ann is about the most adorable person i have ever met and she is just so sweet. me and her and jen have so much fun when u get us started. it's amazing. and u know jenna kinda grew on me. we have so much fun. we went and got jennifer a happy vacation present and then we went and had lunch today. and last week we went and did someshopping. i am soo gonna miss all them. it's kinda sad. but that's the only thing that's got me sad. i think it's b/c i have been around them soo much this summer. and if i didn't leave it would all be same. jennifer has flat out told me if i didn't leave she would make me asst. manager but i can't spend my life at a dry cleaner's. i want something bigger than that. i just don't know what. but u know who i am really gonna miss? stacee. she is like my big sister. my actual big sister doesn't care what i do as long as i'm not doing drugs she's happy but me and stacee have gotten really close. everytime i mention leaving or even just school she says u better come back and see me. she really doesn't want me to go. neither does caleb. he won't admit it but he doesn't want me to leave. he's really killing me with the overprotective brother thing lately. everytime i mention clayton or jake he looks like he could punch the next person he sees lol. but yeah, for those of u that have kept in touch i'm gonna miss you. and STAY in touch. ok? love you guys.

life is finally calming down.
friends are great.
family is good.
school is starting && just everything is ohk.

The guy working the T-Mobil kiosk at Stones River tried to get me to walk over and talk to him. Keep in mind that he didn't try to lure me with a suave head gesture. The guy was seriously checking me out, went "pssst!!!!", and wagged his finger at me.

Something tells me he was trying to sell me more than a phone.

I'm happy to say that I did not buy one pair of jeans today. I did buy six shirts and a skirt though :)

Ahhh... I was right.  Getting back into JROTC was a lot of fun.  The only not fun night was that by the end of Friday night, all the upperclassmen had been wearing their battalion shirts three days in a row and there was some serious stank going on in the gym hallway...

My JROTC kids crack me up.  Take the photo above, for example.  "JROTC Wireless.  Bringing you more cadets in more places."  I learned how to march wheels this week!  It was exciting. They're a huge workout too, because you have to lift your legs really high and stomp really hard to stay in step.

Being the S-1 this year is going to be a hell of a lot of work, but I think it's gonna be fun.  (Yay!)

I never thought this day would come when I would get to the single digits.  As of today, I have officially 9 days until I go to Chattanooga.  I'm so scared yet very excited.  I know I'm about to do some major growing up but I'm so stressed out about forgetting something.  I have to decide what I want/need to bring and start pulling everything together.  This is my final full weekend at home.  This is all so strange!  So much has happened lately but most things have been good and then of course you have the few bad things because life is full of ups and downs.  I'm going to miss everyone so much.  I feel like I need to hang out with everyone before I leave but I don't know how I can possibly get everyone/thing crammed into 9 days plus work from 6-2:30.  So much to do, so little time! 

This song was playing through my head all day and I think it describes me right now.  I also made 2 changes to it but they work.  It's by Carrie Underwood.

  "Don't Forget To Remember Me"

19 years have come and gone
For momma they flew by
But for me they drug on and on
We were loading up that Saturn
Both tryin' not to cry
Momma kept on talking
Putting off good-bye
Then she took my hand and said
'Baby don't forget

Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There's a 50 in the ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a Bible
If you ever lose your way

Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me'

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
And those bills there on the counter
Keep telling me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday I called momma up last night
And even when it's not, I tell her everything's alright
Before we hung up I said
'Hey momma, don't forget to tell my baby sister I'll see her in the fall
And tell mee-ma that I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy that I'm still his little girl
Yeah, I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me'

Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but
'Lord I feel so small sometimes in this big ol' place
Yeah, I know there are more important things, but
But don't forget to remember me
But don't forget to remember me'

Life is a gift we are given each and every day.

Dream about tommorrow, but live for today.

To live a little, you've got love a whole lot.

Love turns the ordinary into the extrordinary.

Life's a journey always worth taking.

Take time to smell the roses... and tulips... and daffodils... and lilacs... and sunflowers...

Count blessings like children count stars.

The secret of  life is'nt  buried in a treaser chest...it lies within your hart.

It's the little moments that make life big.

Don't wait.

Make  memories today.

Celebrate your life!

"She says you can be an unbearable snot."
"Ummm, why?"
"Because you always sit up so straight, and keep your wrists on the table, and..."
"Because I use basic etiquette?"

Iam sooooo EXCITED because my horse got come down to are farm. I road her on the 3rd. Her name is Lacey but i caller LaceyFace.Her show name is southerncross its because she has a white star on her face. shes blackis brown and has brown circles that are called dappels, she has dark brown eyes,and a white cross on her face. She is the best girl in the world.

I stayed over a the Lewis's with Bekah last night. I'm still over there now, to be truthful, and we stayed up till about 4 in the morning making a powere point of ANIME!!!

 We went a little crazy on photobucket, but it's great. It's 50 slides, and we even color coordinated the backgrounds! We're just poking sround now, she's finishing a book and i'm posting here, and i'm fixing to post elsewhere while I'm at it.

IF YOU ARE WONDERING WHO I AM, IAM B-MAN'S SISTER.

FINNALY  i got my phusebox but I don't now anything about it. So can you give me some pointers on how to work it.

hey!!...so i got rushed for DBS monday morning( at 3 am)..it was crazy i was sooo sleepy...
funfun!..i cant believe summer is almost over! i dont wanna go back to school :( it went by super fast!

Early day: AP English IV

1st period: AH Chemistry

2nd period: Speech

3rd period: H Economics/AP U.S. Government

4th period: Journalism (listed as teacher's aid)

5th period: Chamber Choir

(unscheduled) 6th period: Editor's period for journalism


It's pretty good.  I managed to keep my senior year fairly easy without looking like I'm completely slacking off. 

Which...I pretty much am.  Notice the lack of any math, and the fact that I'm only just now taking chemistry.

This year's going to be great.

Well, I am now feeling MUCH better, thanks to the loving attention of my mommy and daddy.  For those of you who don't know, I ended up in the emergency room Tuesday night.  Apparently I had a very bad case of viral pharyngitis, with a sore throat, fever, stiff neck, dizziness, nausea, fatigue, muscle aches, headache, etc.  I spent the past few days being very uncomfortable and very tired, but Mom and Dad have taken wonderful care of both me and Daniel.  I am SO glad my parents live close enough and their schedules permitted them to help me.  I'm sure I would have survived otherwise, but it would have been very hard.  Josh is coming to Hendersonville tonight and will take me home later this weekend.  I miss my husband, but it was very nice to know that someone else could help me take care of Daniel the past few days.  My parents are awesome!

before,,

after,,

luphff,,

cHe

Lately I have had so much on my mind and have slowly but surely been sifting through it, but it wouldnt have been possible for me to reach this decision had God not been guiding me through everything.  I have decided with His help that I need to let go of my past, and concentrate on the future and the oppurtunities he has placed in front of me.  Now I know that many of you are thinking, "yeah well, thats common sense," but the thing is, you really dont know what you have until you are faced with a decision where you have to look at everything in retrospect.  However, the main point of this blog is to praise God and show how He can help if you just ask Him into your heart, and also I would like to thank my friends for all of their help.  I have such amazing friends.......... my life is so blessed, and I owe all that I am to my Lord, Jesus Christ.  For my friends who arent really spiritual, I urge you to find faith, and let Christ in.  Well, it is late, and I am tired, so I am off to bed.  God Bless you all!

In Christ!

Allen

If I were to account for everything I had done so far in my life, there would not be much.  I've done a few things here and there, but have I ever truly lived?  Looking at myself, I see all sorts of missed chances and unfulfilled desires.  There are times, such as these, when I have a perspective on life that is conducive to fulfilling such desires, but, as luck would have it, these perspectives do not fit over my entire life, so while I may feel ready to take on the world at 1 am today, I probably won't at 7 when I get up.  And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

so. sometimes i wonder about DBS.

last night, i had firmly decided not to go the dance, mostly because everytime i go, i end up standing there watching other people dance, while simultaneously wondering what i'm doing there. but in the end, i decided to go, because i wasn't really feelin sitting in Bellecino's. so i get there, i talk to a few people, pausing every now and then to observe. and as i observe, i notice how many girls i see grinding/humping/generally molesting these guys, who obviously have no qualms with it. and then i see girls just dancing like a non-skank. and the biggest surprise is, some go to church with me, some go to other churches on a regular basis. yet they seem to have no problem with totally whoring out. 

now, don't get me wrong, because i have NO problem with dancing. in fact, i don't even have as much of a problem with "those" girls. but man, it just makes me sad. now, i may not be "popular" with the guys (and with those guys, i wouldn't want to be...), and no, i don't dance at all and i'm not jealous of them. i just find it awfully ironic that women fought for so long to have rights, and to become equal to men in our society, just so that we can throw ourselves onto and degrade ourselves in the sight of men??? people say to me, "but it's fun, and i love it, so why not? i'm not having sex with these guys, so what's the harm?" the harm is the image you give off. i don't think we should go back to the days of petticoats, corsets, and strict fundamentalism, but gahlee. where do we draw the line? 

and it's not just the girl's fault either. guys, start respecting women. didn't anyone ever teach you any better? it's not all your responsibility, but geez. if you tell a girl (whether vocally or with your actions) that being a slut is what makes her attractive and worth your time, then you don't deserve to have her. i know that you all are a visual bunch, and that you are going to think about it on a pretty consistent basis, but you do not have to be slaves to lust. especially if you are in Christ.

no, i don't know what it's like to be in a mature, adult relationship, but i've sure seen what it's not like. sex and/or related activities do not make you an adult or more desireable. girls and guys alike, you are selling yourselves short! there is more to life than constantly worrying about how you look, or if he/she is paying attention to you. i know this sounds cliche, but if he or she doesn't treat you like the valuable person you are, he or she doesn't deserve you. seeing so many relationships from the outside looking in, i've really learned a lot of what i don't want.

also, what on earth is wrong with some people? last night for the first time, upon seeing the videos for "Ms. New Booty" and "Laffy Taffy", i left the dance. i just came from church, for goodness sake. i know i sound like an old lady, but gahlee. it was just sinful. that's the only word i can think of. no, i don't think that people that watch BET and MTV are all going to hell. but it was just a slap in the face of Christ. i thought about what He would think if He were standing beside me watching some of the stuff going on there. and it occured to me, that He was. He saw every bit of it, and i know that it hurt His heart. just as much as me yelling at my parents. just as much as me rolling my eyes  and judging a friend. so my point is, don't sell yourself short. you are all valuable, regardless of what you've done. much love to you all, and good night. ---Cari 

My senior pictures came in today. I am really happy with them!

im tired and i have so much to do

today i really started having problems with some of the stuff im conducting. its totally frusterating. it has to be close to perfect by tomorrow at 6 oclock.

in other news jenny is back in band so thats mega exciting

ok i have freshmen presents to work on and i hate to work some with my score too

goodnight

 

He was stung about 6 times in the back, when the wasps went into his shirt as he left the band room. He went to the hospital, and they examined him, and apparently they found an egg or larva in one of the stung areas, so they had to remove that. Then, they had to sedate him because his arm was locked out of place when he was trying to get the wasps out of his shirt. They left the stingers in, saying that it would be too much trouble to take them out. Maybe there's more, but I don't know.

I'm glad he's okay.

A weird thing about him is that he wants to do Winter Guard. He doesn't look like the Winter Guard type, but he's like crazy about it. Never seen some guy so pumped up for guard since myself. Well, myself and Spencer Ford.

I saw Blake Keach at school today, when I was returning from sectionals in the History Hallway. He was helping his guardian since she is now a teacher at Oakland in Mr. Davis' room by the cafeteria.

I played Dance Dance Revolution for the first time today during lunch break. It was SO much fun and addictive. It's almost MORE fun to just watch someone else play, while you pretend like you're playing by stepping on an imaginary pad.

I have the habit of moving my feet back to the center of the pad, when I don't have to. It makes it more difficult when I do that. I also jump alot while playing and I'm sure it's funny to watch me go at it.

That game is now at the top of my list for Most Wanted Games. I traded learning guard work for playing it. Do you realize how much I LOVE learning guard work? It takes something MAJOR to top guard.

I went to the movies with Stephanie, Holly, Matt, Cory, Chris, Ari, and Lindsay today after band and went to see Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest. Awesome movie, completely recommend it.

Very eventful day, with it's ups and ups. Let's see what tomorrow holds.

Danny

tomorrow!

the parents show is gonna rock

the potluck will be a blast

but then it will be over

how i love band camp

This morning I was working on my "morning constitution" and noticed that Decy had left me with quite a bit of toilet paper (good on her, as I don't want to run out !!).  Anyway, it was all Angolan style ... and appropriately marked in Portuguese "Superior Quality".

Now, I know Charmin ... and I know Angolan ... so apparently the Angolan labelling was associated with "relative" quality not "absolute" quality.  You see, the Angolan TP is like 200 fine sand paper ... oh yeah, its superior ... superior to newspaper and tree bark .... the office TP isn't any better either.

ciao ciao

Go see it...its the best movie I've seen in theaters in a very loooong time.
It will blow you away...but that is of course you have to be into M Night's style of movie... I mean he is all over this movie... he wrote it, directed it, produced it, and acted in it.

Tomorrow.

Israel is still irritating.  Now they have commercials, saying, "We've been attaaaaaaaackedgiveusmoney."  Pfft, you shot first.  If you shoot at someone, they're going to shoot back.  Surprised?  Mm, shouldn't be.  And I actually got this all while watching Fox News, waiting at the grand-parentals.

Voted in the primaries.  Had only adequately researched one candidate, so I spent a lot of my time hitting the "Next Screen" button.  Hey, I'm not going to vote for people I don't know about.

BUT...

I was totally pissed off in a major way by the system at large.
*I look at man persuing list of Republican candidates*  *Flag down passing employee*
"Excuse me, may I see the sheet with the Democratic candidates please?"
"Ummmmm..." *Goes off to search until my retirement annuity matured*  *Returns*  "I don't think we have one of those..."
[Internal monologue: You WHAT?]  "Quite all right.  I'm finally here at the computer, so it would do little good."

So yeah, Kelly's seething right now.  For the past five hours, actually.  This has got to count for some sort of discrimination, or with-holding of information, or high treasonnotreally.  Betcha there wasn't a sheet for the Green or Libertarians, either.

Who's Line is it Anyway is on.  All things must be placed on hold.

So I started writing scripts for the webcomic.  I figure, "Why not?  It'll give some way to divert my mind while allowing me to share experiences of my life with others!"  I've got 20 days worth, which equates to 10 weeks of my original 2/week plan.  Maybe I'll up that.  Probably not.  First things first: gotta get onto some HTML work for a comic site.  I've got a few ideas on how to run it using relatively little space on a few different servers.  We'll see how it goes.

blogging overload....

me thinks i will take a break for a while.....

Home from Hilton Head Island
Home from Journalism Camp
Home from St. Louis
Home from Governor's School

So it turns out, I've only been home for about two weeks this entire summer.  One of which was spent under the influence of strong narcotics.

I don't really care.  This summer away from home has been amazing.

And I'm ready for school to start back.

....very much like an outcast.

everything is changing so quickly i don't know what to do.im already growing apart from my friends and that makes me sad.and as most of you know i help the OHS guard and the rest of the staff pretty much ignores me including Mr.Waters,who is surpose to be my friend and what not.

i don't know i just feel really lonely....

...and the fact that my best friend and the person that understands me the most leaves in like 2 weeks and im handleing that to well.

full on depression is now in effect....crawling in a dark corner has now begun....i hate this.

I'm finding through time that there are more and more topics that I once could argue with anyone about for days on end without growing weary.  Nowadays, I can no longer do this on such a wide variety of topics.  It's not that I'm unprepared - I've had more time to do more research and have grown more educated on the topics.  The fact is, the arguments are worthless.  It is fruitless to argue with people.  While one out of every so many billion people may be convinced, it's a good chance that that person is not the one who wants to argue.  They're the ones who want to listen.  So instead of debating, I've been doing more of a monologuous expression of ideas which occur to me.  This leads to no frustration derived of confrontation and a chance to express what I want to express without being sidetracked by other issues.

By the way, I had some brief inspiration today and wrote a little bit of a chapter of a book that shall never be completed.  Read the excerpt anyway and let me know what you think of it.  http://zeal.i8.com is the website, and just click on the "001.doc" link to download.  It's only 3 pages, so that's not bad at all.

So....

Phusebox has been taken over by myspace..

and thats a very sad thing,

i dont get on here that much anymore...

hmm

school  starts soon... and i dont wanna go back,.. but at the same time.. i do.. to see some more of my long lost friends of mine

Summer was absolutlly AMAZING

Vegas,charleston,dance camp,the pool, friends,partys

just sumpy amazing

So i have decided

As soon as i graduate im moving to Charleston South Carolina or somewhere in  North Carolina.... and Alexanna said shes comming with me.

Tennesse is just so boring.

plus that place is gorgeous.. [charleston that is]

but who knows... i might wind up staying here.. which i DONT WANT! but i never know yet.

hmmm

Alot of thinking has been in action....

and i must think some more..

[sigh]

so yesterday was pretty much awesome to me. i got "re-united" with a friend i havent talked to for awhile. then, church was awesome. then, i went to steak and shake with a bunch of ppl from church, and that was fun. somehow, i got gum stuck on my elbow, i had to scrape it off with a knife. as much as it hurt, it was hilarious. then, my friend kelly slept over and we had bunches of fun. when she fell asleep, i got on the computer and got "re-united" with another guy i havent talked to in forever, now we're pretty much best friends. it was awesome. why cant more days be like that. oh, and...

4 DAYS TILL NATIONALS!!!

Dani- I'm not God...just your roommate.
Me- Yeah but WalMart has lot's of stuff.
Dani- What does WalMart have to do with God.

Bakey not wakey cuz he be sleepy. -- Dani

I am getting really fucking sick and tired of people being so damn inconsiderate, especially girls. If I even attempted half of the shit I have to put up with from people, I would be hated. Probably stoned. But I'm supposed to just sit back and take it. People care more about what they lose or gain from a situation than what's best for other people. Selfish. It pisses me off, and oh oh OH how I want to go into more detail, but it's best not to start shit. And I'm trying to be as mature about all of this as I possibly can be so I guess a vague post on phusebox will have to do for now. But who knows what the future holds.

so i was driving home this afternoon and i remembered fireflies hovering over cotton fields at twilight as our car raced past, late night runs to walmart for kwanzaa supplies, and landing on a horse a little too hard.

i remembered singing along to the radio, almost dying on a sharp curve down betty ford road, and getting hopelessly lost (repeatedly).

and i decided that i don't want to grow up.

every road in murfreesboro means something to me . . . i can hardly drive anywhere without having to smile at a memory.

and i'm about to leave for a town where i can't say that. where nobody knows me. where roads are just slabs of asphalt.

i'm going to a place where i can be anyone i want to be.

and, well . . .

i'm just a little scared.

        So I'm trying to decide... I'm thinking about dying my hair back dark with subtle highlights when I get back from NH.... or I could leave it light... what do you think?

guys, i'm in a reality tv show. actually. i just feel like i'm living out an episode of seinfeld. let me tell ya, it's not as funny in real life. kinda humoras, but in the end, no. like i've always felt when i'm watching that show, that it's wrong, yet hillarious. this is so wrong, but in the end, ironically funny.

please continue to pray for my friend. and me.

piece

VERY.  As you can tell, since Decy and the girls left, there is not much to write about.  Of course, I do have my nose to the grindstone RE work (kerja in Indonesia) ... which I really can't tell you about.  Hopefully I can come up for air on Saturday's hash !!!!

I know what they say. They say I'm crazy. I see the looks in their eyes and as I walk past them in the supermarket, I see them turn to one another and begin to whisper about me.

It's not that I'm paranoid.

It's simply the truth.

They say I'm hooked on a love long past. Just because I never wanted anyone but him and never dated after him doesn't mean I'm hooked on him. It just means there was no one worth my time. All those other women just went from man to man, searching for "Mr. Right." And where did it end them up?

In a smelly house with five kids and a dog.

I don't even like dogs.

And that's another thing. I'm not a senile old cat lady. Twelve cats is nothing. Now make it even baker's dozen and you've got problems. But twelve? Twelve it just a nice number. I know the kids down the street bike past my house and say mean things about my cats and me. I keep my cats inside, for Christ's sake! How do they even know how many I have?

They don't.

I paid a little kid a nice shiny quarter to snoop about and tell me how many cats they say I have.

He reported back with numbers in the hundreds.

Hundreds? Where would I get the food to feed them??

No, no. Twelve is just a nice number.

But nice a number as it is, it's just not equal to that one guy.

Twelve cats doesn't equal him.

I've been living here with my twelve furry disciples, holed away, just waiting.

I couldn't even tell you what for.

I don't expect him to come back.

He's happy. I like it when he's happy. I don't want him to ever be anything but. But, God, it hurts so much to see him so happy with another woman. They don't even have a dog. She's allergic. He loves dogs. I would have let him have one, even if I was allergic.

No kids, either. I'm not sure if that's her fault or not. I've heard rumours; they say she's sterile. I bet it's all an act. He always wanted kids. He loved the sound of children laughing. I would have been a good mother for his children.

I guess that's why I'm coming to you. I don't know who to turn to. All my friends have long since left this town and he... well, he just sits with her when he's not working.

They say she might die soon.

Would it make me a bad person if I wished she'd just pass on?

I guess it does. I mean, he'd probably still be so in love with her he'd just die of a broken heart.

Why couldn't he be that in love with me?

I'd gladly switch places with her.

I'd take on her disease and suffer, just to have him hold me.

Just once.

Does that make me crazy?

I think it might.

That's a lovely cat you have there. You say it's about to have kittens? Any chance you'd let me have a couple?

I could use a few more disciples.

Maybe if I just keeping bringing them in, I'll finally have enough disciples to equal one of him.

But I doubt it.

I tried to hide from reality,
but it always came back to me.
I put up a mask,
because the world couldn't know.
But it always semmed that they knew,
and threw it in my face.
Is it wrong to not want the world to know?

I gotta get it out,
before it kills me.
I can't hide behind this mask anymore.
Is it alright if I saw it again,
I know it wont change anything.
But I love you,
I care about you.
Oh yes I do.

I guess the world could tell,
they kept bringing you back.
In every relationship I thoght of you,
and what I did.
And what I couldn't change.

I gotta get it out,

before it kills me.

I can't hide behind this mask anymore.

Is it alright if I saw it again,

I know it wont change anything.

But I love you,

I care about you.

Oh yes I do.

I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you,
I never meant to say so much,
to break you in two.
Is it too late to let it out,
to say that you were my firts love,
that ill never let you go.
Too get away from this mask,
that I keep hiding in.
I hide this for so long,
even though I'm sure you knew.
You always did.

I gotta get it out,

before it kills me.

I can't hide behind this mask anymore.

Is it alright if I saw it again,

I know it wont change anything.

But I love you,

I care about you.
Is it alright if I saw it again,
I know it wont change anything.
But I love you,
I care about you.
Oh I love you.

CHUCK E. CHEESE'S IN 15 DAYS!!!! WOOO HOOOOO!!! LALALALA IM AM SOOO SUPER EXCITED!!! I GOT 4 NEW PAIRS OF JEANS SOOO YEAAAA!!! I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT IM KINDA READY FOR SCHOOL TO START!!!! I MISS MY FRIENDS!!!!

OH YA. IT WAS SOOO WIERD YESTERDAY KELLY WAS OVER AT MY HOUSE AND WE WENT TO THE POOL AND I WAS LIKE WOULDNT IT BE COOL IF SOME PPL WE KNEW CAME TO THE POOL TOO!!! AND IN WALKS OLIVIA HART,CALEB BARBER,MATT GARNETT(SP??), AND JUSTIN WARREN!!!! MAN GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS FAST!!!!

So ive been listening to banana pancakes by jack johnson lately.  and i realized this is an amazing song.  random, yes i know but oh well

anyhow...

I cant wait for my life to start up again.  i mean im ready to do something new and exciting.  but im not sure what that is now.  but i know as soon as i figure it out it will be amazing. 

    Some of you already know but I want to post it anyway :-). Yesterday my dad and I went out and he bought me the promise ring he told me he would get for my eighteenth birthday :-) It is absolutely gorgeous. It has a white gold band and three small diamonds sitting on either side (so that there are six in all) of a ruby stone. We found it at Shane Co. in Franklin and I love it. I get it on Friday because they have to make one in my size which I found out is a 7 1/2 ( I would have guessed 8 but he said I could even go with a seven) Anywya I'll post pictures when I get it. It's beautiful in case I haven't mentioned that yet. 

So you guys have already heard about the death to mr.clique service, which was pretty cool. 

NOw here's another part of our adventure last night.  So the youth pastor gives an invitation at the end of the service, basically saying something to the effect of " If you want to come back to "consuming fire" ( youth group name) next week and be more friendly and inviting, stand up."

Well Hooper and I have no intentions of driving 1000 miles to come to a youth service next week, so we sat: and were the only two of the forty or so students who weren't standing. 
THEN the Youth pastor says " I don't think there's anyone sitting down."
Haha, so then of course everyone looks at us, and I can only imagine what the kids in the youth group were thinking who didn't know us. "Wow, look at them, they don't even want to be friendly to people.  THose heathens."

So the rest of the night hooper and I had a lot of fun anunciating our Christianity.  "So hooper, how far are you from being a CREDENTIALED MINISTER?"
Hooper: "Well Adam, I'm taking my credintial test in October, but how's life down at your CHRISTIAN COLLEGE?  Or how about that BIBLE AND THEOLOGY MAJOR?"
I could go on forever, but it was a lot of fun.
So yeah..... Tomorrow we leave for Dallas.  Yippee.

Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other's nerves you don't snap at each other.  Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out. I Thes. 5:13 (The Message)

For a kick-arse piece of music, right-click-and-save here.

Well, it is now official: I'm not going back to MTSU for the Fall semester.  I went and dropped all my classes the other night.  And y'know what?  I feel somewhat glad about that.  Of course, I'm sure many of you reading this are probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me.  Well, to be honest, for the first time in my life, nothing.  Nothing is wrong with me.

I've come to the ultimate conclusion that college basically gives you nigh-guaranteed financial stability in a job that some, if not, many people could care less about.  It's all about money in many peoples' minds, that's what it comes down to.  Well, I feel that a man isn't judged by the amount of stuff he has but is instead judged by the goodness of his self.

When it comes down to it, I feel obligated to remind people that life isn't simply about working your ass off for money you shouldn't care so much about.  There's more to it than that.  There's the element of fun that I think so many people forget about; we forget to take the time out of life to enjoy what is there.

I feel that's basically what I've been doing for the past several years of my life.  Then I met Marissa.  Ever since I've gotten into this relationship, I've come to realize more about life than I could ever hope to have realized on my own.

And so, I think for the first time in my life, I've finally got an idea of what I truly want to do with my life: remind people to have fun.  What better way to do so than to work for a game store.

I'm at least movin' up the chain to a position I could feel comfortable being in, in terms of a balance between money and fun; I'm now the "part-time manager" at the EB outside the mall here in town.  Once I become a normal manager, life will be sweet for me.

I will kinda miss college, though, I will say, for the times shared with people when not in class (or even in class in some cases).  Whether just chattin' it up or doin' somethin' cool...  It was good times for all.  Days spent talkin' to Graham/Amy/Anna about whatever, or making a demo of an RPG with Cameron as a class project, or even the times of philosophy class with Ed, Chad and Cameron...  They were good times, and I will miss them.  At least, of course, you're all still here, so I can try to have good times with you all at some point.

Of course, keep in mind that overall, I really find nothing wrong with college.  I just don't care about havin' a ton of money, which, if I kept up my studies, is what I would've had.  It's always good to learn, and if it gets you a job you deeply, truly desire to have, then all the more power to you.  I've just come to the conclusion that there's nothing for me there.

...It's times like these that I really realize the times of our lives that are truly our greatest are already behind us: the times before graduating from high school.  Children don't have to worry about any of the crap that will be faced later in life.  They get to explore the world, live with little worry of anything.  They're as close to being truly free as possible in today's society.  If only I could've embraced that freedom moreso...

Anywho, it's really friggin' late right now, so I'm off.  I mean this with the utmost seriousness: find the inner child and go have some fun.

About 24 hours ago, I wrote about being a loner and not really being part of society in general.  Since then, I have listened to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack.  I always preferred the Phantom to Raoul.  I always identified with him better than with any other literary character.  Think of it this way - we are both very intelligent; fairly talented in multiple areas; desirous of an impossible, perfect love; shunned by a majority of society because of particularities that don't fit into the general consensus of normality; and reviled by some because of our persistence.  If you read this and wonder about some of the "similarities" just try to remember that you haven't lived my life, so there may be some things you don't know about.

Anyway, the Phantom could have at any time whisked Christine away to his little love nest swan bed, but instead trained her voice, respected her privacy, and worked behind the scenes to benefit her.  Raoul, on the other hand, wooed Christine when they were younger, then pops in from nowhere and carries her away on his little romantic adventure.  Raoul was a punk, whereas the Phantom (referred to hereafter as Erik) was respectful and took his time.  All of the things that Erik did in the work could have been avoided had Raoul not attempted his little sexual coup.  But, no, the irritating aggressive boy caused things to go awry.

Let's shift gears now to Pride and Prejudice, another favorite of mine.  Darcy at one point proclaims his love for Elizabeth, yet she does not believe him.  Darcy, working behind the scenes, ended up hooking Lizzie's sister up with her soulmate, Bingley, and saving the Bennett family from disgrace at the younger sister's elopement.  Darcy also stays behind the scenes, never coming out and saying "Hey, Lizzie-baby!  Lookie at what did!"  Others tell her, also mentioning that they weren't supposed to tell her.  He didn't want her to know; he was happy being able to show his love for her by protecting her family in unseen ways.  Now that's love.

Now, let's mix the two.  ErikDarcy does things for ChristineElizabeth, behind the scenes, to show his love for her, not necessarily to her, but in order to further her in her life.  Then some punk comes in and steals her away.

Now there's a story with which I can identify.

things that are needed to be said and done

the government cannot be trusted anymore
 this amazing nation is on a downward spiral to destruction

islam is a religion that is going to be the cause of ww3
its a violent religion and their goal of destroying all christians and jews will play major into it

its going to be illegal to be christian in america one day

political correctness is taking over and it must be stopped

the media is not providing the right information and is only giving information on what will make the money


this is my prediction of what is going to happen in the next 20 or 30 years

If you haven't already, go see Lady in the Water. No, it's not a horror/scarry movie so don't go into thinking that. Listen to the plot and take the movie for what it is and tell me what you think about it....I will wait, so go!

On a quote kick again. Found some I just like and some that apply to current situations...

"there are some things we do because we convince ourselves it would be better for everyone involved. we tell ourselves it's the right thing to do, the altruistic thing to do. it's far easier than telling ourselves the truth."

"imperfection is beauty; madness is genius.
and its better to be absolutely ridiculous
than absolutely boring"

"I'm scared that I'm going to end up alone. I'm scared that I'm always going to be somebody's friend, or sister, or confidant, never quite somebody's everything."

"In the best, most desirable way -- you scare me. But I love the way you scare me but it makes me nervous and then I say or do something really stupid. so I spend all this energy coming up with ideas to be smart so that you don't think I'm stupid and those ideas inherently backfire therefore making me look more stupid. It's a vicious circle, and I'm at the end of my rope because all I really want to do is kiss you and feel if I don't kiss you soon I'm gonna explode."

"Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need. "

"I mean, if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button?"

I am so happy. I finally got rid of some dead weight                     a.k.a."Mandie Burgett" she is such a bitch that she thinks everything is going to have to be about her. She really needs to get over herself. I am back with my Ex-boyfriend, Jimmy, and everything is running smoothly. He is such a sweet heart he brings me dinner when i have to work late and is very considerate of what i might need and i am trying my best not to fuck up the relationship this time cause i don't want to lose him again. SO all of my high school friends if you still have a life then send a message my way cause it would be great to hear from you again.

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant -
Success in Circuit lines
Too bright for our infirm delight
The truth's superb surprise
As lightning to the children eased
With explanation kind
The truth must dazzle gradually
or every man be blind.
-emily d.

If you were coming in the fall,
I'd brush the summer by
With half a smile, and half a spurn,
As housewives do, a fly

If I could see you in a year,
I'd wind the months in balls -
And put them each in separate drawers,
For fear the numbers fuse

If only centuries, delayed,
I'd count them on my hand,
Subtracting, till my fingers dropped
Into Van Dieman's Land,

If certain, when this life was out -
that yours and mine, should be
I'd toss it yonder, think a rind,
And take eternity -

But, now, uncertain of the length
of this, that is between,
It goads me, like the Goblin bee -
That will not state - it's sting
-dickinson

"Love is grand. Divorce is 20 grand."

"I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them elected!"

"Everyone brings joy here. Some when they enter and others when they leave."

"It ain't your jeans that make your butt look fat!"

"I'm not a complete idiot, parts of me are missing."

"The trouble with some women is, they get all excited about nothing, then they marry him!"

"Do not talk about yourself, we'll do that after you leave."

"When I married Mr. Right, I didn't know his first name was ALWAYS!"

"Don't worry about what people think - they don't do it often."

"Gossiper:  One who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage."

"Brain cells come and brain cells go but fat cells live forever!"


Thus ends the interesting quotations.




::b