When you keep on telling someone *ahem* that you don't want them to go and spend money on you but the keep on insisting that they are going to. So, you get stuck because they are just as stubborn as you are. gosh.....austin. You really make things hard. : )

In other news, my mom's birthday was yesterday. : -) We had Rice Dream....sorry tyler and austin we just didn't get a chance to invite you over. : ) Maybe next time.

Did you realize that this year is passing so fast??? Gosh, I realized this today when I finally actually realized that like we are in may now.

As most of you know, I dedicated a lot of time and effort to the Honors Program during my first 5 years at Tech.  I have loved that program, regardless of the many flaws that I saw and my clashes with the leadership.  Right now, I am completely disgusted and disappointed.

At least since I came to Tech in 2001, the Honors Handbook has said that to graduate in cursu honorum (in the course of the Honors Program) you have to complete Honors 1010, 15 hours of Honors credit in classes spread across 3 disciplines, 2 Honors colloquia (interdisciplinary classes that are usually pretty cool,) full membership in the Honors Program, a 3.5 GPA and-here's the part I've always hated-2 essays, one on critical thinking and one on your developmental growth, a final resume, and an exit interview with one of the directors and an Honors professor.

It came to light a few years ago that while they've been required the essays, resume, and interview, they're not actually in the Honors Charter, which means that students don't actually have to do them.  The Honors Charter is approved by the Academic Council at Tech, and the program has to abide by it.  When we discovered that it was being violated and students were, let's face it, being LIED to about what they had to do to graduate in cursu, the Honors Council voted to change the Charter.  The change, of course, has to be approved by the Academic Council for it to actually change the requirements.  Just so you know, as of the current date, they haven't even sent it to the Academic Council.  They are still telling students that they're required to complete the essays, resume, and interviews, which again, is not true.  For the record, even if it had been passed, the ammendment notes that anyone who joined Honors before the change was enacted can choose the Charter under which they want to graduate.

One of my friends is graduating this year.  He's completed all the requirements set forth in the Honors Charter, and yet the Honors Program is trying to refuse him in cursu graduation.  First, they flat-out refused him.  This Wednesday, when he went to talk to them about it, the director told him that while the papers, etc aren't in the Charter as requirements, they're not optional.  Then, the director told him to talk to the secretary on Thursday.  Thursday, the secretary told him that he needed a signed letter from the director saying that he really was graduation in cursu, since he didn't do the interview and papers, nevermind that he doesn't actually have to.  While the director was in the office, the secretary refused to "disturb" her for this.  (Graduation is tomorrow, so this is rather important, you know?)  When my friend came back an hour later as directed, the secretary and director were both out to a "long lunch."  A quick e-mail sent to a variety of university officials fixed the problem somewhat, but the director protested that he had not completed the proper "processing."  ... What kind of processing do you have that requires 2 papers, a resume, and an interview to determine if a student has taken certain classes and has the appropriate GPA?  Anyone else think this sounds a bit shady?

I am overall extremely disappointed in the program and its leadership.  This problem certainly started with the old director who first imposed the requirements that were not listed in the Charter, but I thought that the new director had more integrity that this.  I'm not sure who exactly they think they are that they can blatantly ignore the Charter that gives them the right to even have their program on campus, but I am certain of one thing - they are going to lose this fight.  The Charter is explicit about the requirements, and my friend has fulfilled every last one of them.

For the record, neither Josh nor I intend to do the papers or interviews either.  They will certainly lose the fight then as well.

Here am again sittin in the libary tpyi sometimes this can get borin but I like it most of the time because you dont have teachers yellin at you all the time right now im wonderin were wg101s @ cuz shes ussaly here by now her bus is probbably late again like yesterday mornin well g2g.

well nothing much has been going on. i got my ACT score back and i got a 21 on it. i guess that isnt bad for not studying at all. :] idk lol. i have just gotten a raise at kroger so that is really cool. lets see school is almost over yet in everyone of my classes we are still going over stuff and having tests. tomorrow the jazz band plays at jazz fest around 8 o'clock so if you can make it that would be awesome. then on saturday i am going to jazz fest for pretty much the entire day with Holly. well i g2g but that is what has been going on in my life for the past couple of weeks. L8R

whats up everybody- wow been a while since i have posted on here. well its been pretty lame around here but yea. hope you all have a great week! -stephen

Today is one of those days that i really want to just get a bukect of chocolate ice-cream, find a spoon, and put A Walk To Remember! BLAH :( sorry its not a good day! please just be praying for me

So life has been ok, but today was bad. It was under the "bad day" category. I'm not going to go into why it was so  bad but just please keep me in your prayers! Ok, now we are going to move on to more important things...... have you ever asked why life has to be so bitter-sweet?? I don't get it! It seems like everything has to be bitter-sweet. I wish things just were SWEET! O well, i am going on and on about something you people probably don't even care about. So i think i shall go now :P

so... tomorrow is my eighteenth bday! but this week has been awful!

yesterday I was the saddest I have ever been in the longest time... my boyfriend wrote me a note, saying how he needed a "break"! what!!!! in a freakin note!! we've been goin out since ninth grade and he tells me he wants a break in a note! what a loser! I was soo sad! in fifth period, all I did was cry!- and it takes a lot for me to cry! I mean, I have been getting mad at him over stupid stuff here lately, but just last month, I found out he cheated on me in January, and I never broke up with him- he begged me not to, cried, and said it would never happen again! I guess this month I've been irritated and putting a lot of stress on him, but I have not gotten over him cheating on me.... and after all the crap he's put me through he tells me he wants space...again, in a note!!!! it was the most embarassing thing ever, and a great birthday present....

anyways... I hate being/ sounding so pessimistic, cuz I'm usually really happy.. but isn't that a little messed up??? what do I do.... today he said he didn't just want to be friends, and he still wants to be together, and come to my birthday party??? ugh.... he is way to confusing! and just thinking about us not together makes me sad... :(

my day was kinda stinky.  we were doing something in literature where you had to circle a problem you thought was big in our school.  i circled rejection.  i put my signature smiley face with it.  (keep in mind it's just a smiley face on an eraser board.)  someone said something about it...and the teacher was like, "Who did that?"  well, i raised my hand..."honesty pays off"...sure.  so, she says, "FOLLOW THE RULES!"  i thought that was so stupid...i was just messing around...that's not something to get mad about.  it was so embarrassing because all my friends and stuff are in that class...i was mad.  then, in mr. cochran's class, he got mad at me for answering someone's question.  AUSTIN said,"You had a bad day...that's okay it will be better tomorrow..."  so sweet!  then he patted me on the back...he does that quite frequently.  (i'm telling you megan!  just watch him!)  Then, i heard that the literature teacher wrote me up...but she didn't, thankfully.  And I forgot...we are reading this stupid book (if you could even call it such) in English...(homeroom) and it's so stupid.  it's gruesome and it makes me like uncomfortable and i don't see the point in it.  i could read a chapter in my social studies book and get the same thing.  The teacher said that she was going to stop reading because it was almost time to leave...the class said, "NO!"  I said, "It's okay, you can stop!"  She kinda got mad...then she read my journal because i told her that i wrote about what i really thought in the journal...she probably hates me now.  but when i have an opinion on something, it's going to be spoken, heard, and listened to.  I'm a pretty strong-willed person when it comes to some things.  I had a bad day, but not so bad...tehe.  I'm just lucky to have Jesus on my side.  I'm also lucky to have as many friends as I do...especially THAT ONE!!! lol.  Well, I hope you had a good day.  I just thought I would let it all go.  i'm physically and mentally exhausted.

And I'll call you a cheeseball 50's TV show.

Sorry, I'm bored again. I seem to get that way a lot at school. Somebody really clever should think of a way to fix that. I nominate Stephen Hawking.

Having sucessfully completed almost one week of testing, no wait the freshmen and sophomores have been doing the testing. I've been watching movies all week, not so bad, the desks are very uncomfortable to sleep on though.

Hey you guys i want to tell you what I did last night .so i was just plying around on a tractor tire last night and i fell off and smacked the side of our metal shed. OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now im all scratched up

Hmm Im back in computer tech again we got a subsitute today I dot know her name but that don't matter today my brothers graduation hes moving up to creekwood Im glad cuz he aint in middle school with no more and that means I can do what I wont without him snitchin on me anymore well I g2g see ya in a while.

some times i feel like i am in a dream world and no one is real.... or that i am really in a coma and have no clue what is really going on.... i really love it when its warm outside because i like to roll down the windows and as i drive the different smells of the night bring back memories and feelings... i get excited about having a family one day... when i am alone at night i think about life..... i always wonder if other people think the way i do....but how would anyone know. . . i cant even remember how i preceive things most of the time...just go with the flow... IT IS GREAT!!! even though it makes time go by faster  .. it is definatly more enjoyable

Sorry I couldnt get here yesterday I couldn't come to the libary to type bc of some stupid devlopment thing well I still love the libary I was wonderin if anybody checked out Whitleys blog yesterday she probally dont have as much of blogs as I do but thats ok she still has to do typin time its kind of razy but I got to do it.

Well my brother is coming home tomorrow from Seattle and i am very exted about that. Him and I are very close and it is hard to know that I wont be seeing him much at all any more scince i am moving to Hawaii.

Along with him i am going to miss the few of you on here that actually know me. You all have impacted my life so much I cant even put into words. I just want to thank you so much for being there for me.

Thanks

If you have a Mac and are always taking screenshots of websites, check out Paparazzi.

Seriously, it is always a pain when I have to take screenshots of websites... usually the process involves snapping 2 or 3 screenshots while scrolled to a certain vertical area on the page... then openning Photoshop and seaming the images together and then cropping out everything else.

Luckily, this morning I found Paparazzi... it is freeware that allows you to simply type in the URL and it will grab a screenshot of that page, not matter how long it may be.

It is a handy app to have in case you need it.

I'm at a lost for words. I feel like a fool. Not going towards any goal but following the wind. Nothing seems worth the trip. I can't stand feeling like a loser. Missing the mark. Wandering in the valley of confusion. I'm not suppose to feel this way. But, I do. I know it's not for me. It never will be. Why do I bother chasing after things that aren't suppose to be?? Can I deny the fact that God doesn't want me to do this? I want the things that aren't for me. I can't lead people on this way. It's not right. I'm trying to make something be that's not suppose to be.

Plain, by Zoegirl
It made you feel plain when he forgot your name
let me tell you something I've felt the same
I know your in pain, there will be another boy along the way
And God, He made you beautiful and
There's nothing about you that's plain

You are a jewel, you are a treasure
you are one of a kind
And shine just as bright as the stars in the sky
You're a rare kind of wonder, created just right
So keep you head up no matter the pain
There's nothing about you that's plain

You tell me you're not the type, the kind of girl they would like
You're a little insecure of how you look in their eyes
Well, fashion will change, and trends come and go everyday
But God only made one of you and
There is nothing about you that is plain

You are a jewel, you are a treasure
you are one of a kind
And shine just as bright as the stars in the sky
You're a rare kind of wonder, created just right
So keep you head up no matter the pain
There's nothing about you that's plain

See your mind, it is precious
Though your heart may be restless
And your eyes they will see all that you're meant to be
Cause your spirit is strong and your soul carries on
You keep your head up no matter the pain
There is nothing about you that's plain

You are a jewel, you are a treasure
you are one of a kind
And shine just as bright as the stars in the sky
You're a rare kind of wonder, created just right
So keep you head up no matter the pain
There's nothing about you that's plain

Ya know, I have my days when I feel out of place, yeah
I look at who I am, I cover what I can
I wish it all would change
but you take the make-up away
you'll see the same girl still remains
she may not feel that beautiful but,
there is nothing about her that is plain

Tonight we mourn the elimination of a great man... Phil Stacey... tears were shed tonight on the American Idol stage by three ladies that had grown to love this man, inevitably bonded by the Christian faith they all shared. Phil may have not been the best singer, but I could see something in him that is much truer or deeper than talent, and that is faith and devotion to God. And that is an awesome testimony that will surpass this season of American Idol.

      I got to tell yall about the guy i like his mame is     and he goes to DCA and he soo hott and I get to go see him this weekend a guy who use to go to our church is the principal ther e and he tells me all about him he dont now about me that much but i now alot about him thanks to that guy well im not gonna tell yall that much about me seein him till Monday well I g2g again see yall @ 3:01m love  always pumkin

            Well im goin to tell you about my bff her mname is Whitley Groves she goes to cms with me and weve been friends since 4th grade and always be I HOPE we just found out in 5th grade that we were cousins see this is how it goes my Great Aunt is her Great Aunt witch that is so awesome we have a few bumps in there but we always work them out and she just got with phuse box to so check her blog out at wg101 but come back to me to well I better go before Mr.Alsion comes back and sees me typin on here cuz im in computer tech and he dont like us typin on the internet well g2g love always pumkin

CONGRATS  FWC  FINE ARTS COMPETITORS!!!!

                 This is my very first time to try phuse box it may take me a while to set up my pics and everything but you will see me sometime or another I hpe ya'll we like trust im very nice when iI wont to be I hope I can make some friends on here well g2g love always pumkin

Oh, the joys of pestering your friends to go and spend money on you. : ) Well, I'm just pestering one friend. Poor guy!! But you see, when someone is so cool, snazzy, wonderful, amazing, beautiful, friendly, kind, considerate, and all together just awesome. You gotta spend money on the person. right? Ok, now I'm being conceited. grrrrrr........I just felt like putting that there.

In other news, Life is like a um...a...dang! I forgot what I was going to say. Well, anyway, there is some stuff going on in my life that I wish wasn't. : ) Isn't that how it always is??? Anyway, so if ya think of me sometime, will ya please pray?? thanks, I love you guys.

so if i make a 97 on my math exam today i can make a B in the class, and if i make a 98 on my accounting exam on monday i can make an A in the class. so... who knows how that will go down. haha

piece

1. Hi my name is...... Jaime Hollis Rhiannon Crabtree
2. Never in my life have I...... tried to replicate the Mythbusters tests
3. The one person who can drive me nuts is......... not here right now, please leave a message and he probably won't be able to dig himself out of that sandpit...
4. High school........is almost over!!!
5. When I'm nervous........ I start talking about random things and raking my hand through my hair
6. The last time I cried was......... a long time ago, I'm not a big crier
7. If I were to get married right now my wedding party would be.......... wondering what I was thinking and how fast they could get me out of it, as if I wasn't doing that already
8. My hair is.... freshly cut and a little shorter than I wanted it to be, but I'll deal
9. When I was 5.......... I was 5, not much else to say about that
10. Last Christmas........ I got a bunch of stuff I'll never use ^-^
11. I should be.... probably going to bed (or at least planning it anyway)
12. When I look down I ...... am avoiding eye contact or am thinking really hard
13. The craziest recent event was.... my friend John tellingme and my other friend Josh we have to learn the dance from FF8
14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be... Phoebe
15. By this time next year...... I'll be getting ready to graduate
16. My current gripe is...... School *hurry up and be over*
17. I have a hard time understanding... other women
18. There's this girl I know who... well let's not get into that shall we
19. You know I like you when... I tell you so
20. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be...... Leslie or who ever else was closest
21. Take my advice... nothing stays the same, it changes eventually, so love it while you have it
22. My most wanted item is... my own computer
23. If you visited the place I was born... you'd be kicked out by some rather confused new parents
24. I plan to.... graduate and major in English
25. If you spend the night at my house... you wouldn't get a lot of sleep
26. I'd stop my wedding if.... I didn't want to go through with it, der
27. The world could do without... stupid people, nuff said
28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than... no, wait I'd never go near a cockroach
29. Most recent thing I've bought myself... killer shoes
30. Most recent thing someone else bought me... lunch a few days ago
31. My favorite blonde is... I have two, one's a natural blonde and I love her to poeces. The other... he just up and bleached his hair one day...
32. My favorite brunette is... I think she's asleep right now
33. My favorite redhead is... not a redhead anymore, she dyed her hair brown
34. My middle name is... Hollis Rhiannon
35. This morning I... Got up and went to school *blegh*
36. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are... people
37. Once, at a bar... I ran into a preist and a rabbi
38. Last night I was... trying to get some sleep
39. There's this guy I know who... will soon be spending some quality time in a straight-jacket
40. I don't know... what the heck I was thinking when I decided to post this quiz
41. A better name for me would be.... I like my name thank you!
42. Tomorrow I am... doing almost the exact same thing I'm doing today
43. My birthday is... March 2nd 1990
44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is... for Valentine's day to be banned (I hate Valentine's Day)
45. I am allergic to.... pretty much everything

Sorry guys I got really bored

So whenever I log into Yahoo to check my e-mail, I always notice the news feed on the home page. It seems like everytime there is something about the Democrats pressing for getting the troops home and ending the war and Bush vetoing it. Am I just imagining things or is this really happening like all the time?!

Apparently neither the Dems nor Bush under social psychological methods of persuasion. If they would meet the opposing viewpoint almost to their extreme, and then slowly but surely progressed closer and closer to what they actually want, they would be much more successful. Neither Bush nor the House/Senate is going to want to meet on middle ground (and in a case of ending a war, I can imagine it would be sorta hard to find a middle ground) so someone just needs to be lure someone in somehow someway. Or just find middle ground and get over it. When I discovered that both the House and Senate were going to be Democrat-majority, my biggest fear was that nothing would be accomplished for this very reason.

But oh well, I guess worse things could be happening...

If only we could all just sit around and sort through things. I have to admit, as a supporter of Bush, that he did not approach the Iraqi situation in an ideal manner, but his stance now is what he believes is the best way to solve the problem. I have no idea whether or not it really is the best way; I just don't think that suddenly pulling the troops out is the answer. The Democrats want a timetable (I think, I don't really keep up with it that much so you can correct me if I'm wrong), which isn't really all that... well it's just difficult. You can't predict what's going to be happening over there in one year. So... I guess I wish the Republicans and Democrats would just spend an afternoon at Starbucks together and say ok, how can we get them out soon, without a certain time set but maybe set goals as to how this war can be ended sooner without immediate withdrawl or surrender?

Anyhow, this was not an angry post, so in return, I ask for you to not leave angry comments.

And on a different note, say a prayer for my TV Production final of doom if you don't mind. My teacher barely taught the material and the terms on the study guide really aren't in the book so... yeah... fun times... bleeeeeeeeeeeeeh... NOT!

1. Hi my name is...... Stephanie Grace Bradley
2. Never in my life have I...... Killed someone ( and i hope i never do )
3. The one person who can drive me nuts is.........HaHa a bunch of people
can drive me nuts but they also are my friends so its kinda a bitter sweet
kind of thing
4. High school........ is waiting for me next year
5. When I'm nervous........ I usually pray and sometimes i'll just start talking :- )
6. The last time I cried was......... a few days ago, it must not have been
something big b/c i can't remember why & personally i think that's a good thing! :P


7. If I were to get married right now my wedding party would be..........
full of family and friends with a bunch of food :P haha
8. My hair is.... wet and up like it always is!
9. When I was 5.......... i was 1,780 days old :)
10. Last Christmas........ i got the best thing ever
(besides asking Jesus Christ to be my savor ) i got a video camera :P
YES haha
11. I should be.... smart, but i'm trying to be!!
hopefully i will be brilliant some day
12. When I look down I ...... usually am sad or up-set....
OR i'm just looking were i'm walking
13. The craziest recent event was.... i can't remember any craZy recent events!
and i'm telling you i would remember if it was craZy b/c most likely one of my
friends would be the cause of it being craZy! haha
14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be... i haven't really watched
it to know who i would be. But my sisters used to watch it ALL the time :P
15. By this time next year...... i will be wishing someone was back in TN :(
16. My current gripe is...... i am not sure what a "gripe" is, so i'm not to sure
17. I have a hard time understanding... why love has to be so bitter sweet,
why can't it just be sweet?? Grr love
18. There's this girl I know who... * i know a BUNCH of girls *
but there is this one *lane* who is craZy!! haha but i am just like her so i
can't say anything! :P lol
19. You know I like you when... i talk to you! :P i don't talk to just anyone!
20. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be...... i have no idea! l
ol probably my mom and then i would tell all my friends and family
21. Take my advice... Life can change in just 1 second so live your
life like there's no tomorrow
22. My most wanted item is... a cell phone
23. If you visited the place I was born... you would be in a hospital
24. I plan to.... grow up and train horses! OR become a photographer
25. If you spend the night at my house... you would be at my house
when it was day out and dark! I mean what kind of question is this! lol
26. I'd stop my wedding if.... God told me to ( but i hope he doesn't )
27. The world could do without... people gossiping and people talking behind
other peoples backs :( not cool
28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than... *first of all that's just nasty
in its self but....* kill someone
29. Most recent thing I've bought myself... a t-shirt
30. Most recent thing someone else bought me... a t-shirt :P lol
31. My favorite blonde is... uhmm let me think about that...
you know idk! i mean i know a bunch of blondes, i would have to say Tyler
( but his hair is darker when it is short, so is he technically a blonde? idk )
32. My favorite brunette is... LANE
33. My favorite redhead is... i only know 2 but i would have to go with Angelina
34. My middle name is... GRACE
35. This morning I... took care of 11 horses, 2 dogs, and 2 cats
36. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are... elephants
37. Once, at a bar... *there never was a "once" b/c
i was never there in the first place *
38. Last night I was... thinking about my life and what's to come
in the next few months :(
39. There's this guy I know who... is like the BEST ever
*hint hint, his name would be Tyler*
40. I don't know... why i am here
41. A better name for me would be.... FANTASTIC :P lol no...
i don't really know
42. Tomorrow I am... going to do what i did this morning
( take care of 11 horses, 2 dogs and 2 cats )
43. My birthday is... August 9th 1993
44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is... a box of chocolate
and some flowers :P lol haha
45. I am allergic to.... HAY! you darn hay you

I'm so glad Gateway is over. I thought the test was pretty easy, but I still don't think I did very well. But I guess I always second guess myself. I'm just glad I don't have to do anymore review. Wait I take that back, we still have to review for the end of the year test. We algebra kids have it so bad. We have to take t-crap, gayway, and end of the year test. Oh well we get to go on a field trip no one else does.

I'm so excited. I get to go back to writing club tomorrow. It seems like I haven't been in like forever.

I think my friends are annoyed with me. But I get frustrated because when I look sad (which is a lot) they ask me what's wrong. I tell them, then they get mad. I guess because they hear about it all the time, but what I say is how I really feel and I don't know how to change it. I can't help that I have no self confidence, can I? I don't know what to say anymore. I think I'm just going to start reading my book at lunch and not say anything so they won't be mad at me.

Today we took a high school level test called Gateway a.k.a. Gayway. It was purty easy for a math test, and a high school math test at that. I'm so worried about high school. I'm gonna get lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope this summer lastes FOREVER. I don't deal well with change, I don't wanna leave my middle school. Sure it's the oldest and most crappy school in the world, i still love it!!!!!!!!!! That lunch room holds so many memories................now I'm leaving them never to retern. At least i'm not totally like moving away. I could never do that. I hear people talk about turning18 so they can get out of this town........everybody wants to leave. I love it hear!!!!!! I have lived in this town since i was born, and if i have my way, this is were i will die.

And the test from hell is over!!!! I'm finally done with math for the rest of my life, provided I passed that ridiculous test. I studied myself to death and yet I think it would've been less painful if I'd just run the pencil through my eye. But it's over! And that is all that matters!!!

I passed my Hapkido yellow belt test. I have two more exams and a paper. I am fairly confident that I will need to BS something somewhere at some time. Meanwhile, an XNTP has fallen for me. Gasp. Problems: 1) I don't care 2) I am focused on more important things 3) She is currently quite far from what I am looking for 4) She is so dang HOT (this is only a problem BECAUSE of the other three being true : / )

hey im back but i have to go see ya later.

Hey you guys thanks for visiting my blog .

Its my first one so it might be a little rough around the edges,

but i tried right?

see yall later!

So there's a college algebra exam...looming in my very near future....3:15 pm to be exact. Pray I make it through it......

Econ - 10 am... about to begin studying

Constitutional Law- 1pm- began studying 2 weeks aog -still feel horribly unprepared

Whats up?
The past few days have been packed full. Lets start with Saturday, Saturday Lane and the Baker family, left for SC so my mom and i have to take care of their animals. OMGosh i didn't realize how long and how da-gum hard it is to take care of 11 horses, 2 dogs, and 2 cats. But yeah its all good, its kinda fun. I mean it gives me something to do and its something i look forward to b/c i get to see my baby's ( Kate and Mocha Man ) Moving on to Sunday, Shawn showed up and Sarah came over so EVERYONE was home on Sunday. Mom, Shawn, Sarah, Sam, Seth, & ME :P lol we did a bunch of yard work and talked for like ever but it was fun. We haven't all be together in a long time :) so it was good :P Other then that i have been just doing school and working on a project for a friend ;) Yeah you can tell i have a fun filed life... not! Haha I better go b/c i have to wake up early to go take care of the Bakers animals :P Have a GREAT week.
Talk To You People Later

Right now I'm sick of Algebra. Actually it wasn't that bad preparing for Gateway today. I got to be with all my best friends. I know Carmen's happy. ;) And that was really embarrising. No ofense Carmen, but you talk REALLY loud. Sunrise was just looing at us like we were retarded or something. But I guess we are. I'm still a little worried about the test tomorrow, but I did pretty good on the practice test today. I only missed six, and that's better than the highest score you can get. Go me!!! Right now I'm really stressed out about science fair. All I really have to do is put it on the board. But I still need to find another leftie to help me with my project. (Carmen would you like to assist me with using your little friend who just so happens to be a leftie?) Nothing really extrodinary happened today, well except at lunch but that's another story. (And yes Carmen you do stare a lot. ;))

While my sister was at dance we went to the Lighthouse book store. I got this pretty cool book. It's about finding out who you really are with God in mind. There's all these questions that make you think about how you really feel about things. One of the questions was to write three things you really don't like about yourself. My top one is that I don't like how I'm always concerned about what people think. Like if people are really my friends and stuff. I'm always constantly frustrated that no guy likes my. I mean obviously some guy somewhere likes me. Right? Right now I wish this one guy would like me, but he never will. (Carmen, don't say anything.) Oh well, I should be going so I write back later.

I can't belive I haven't told you about Drama yet!!!!! Ok, so i don't play ANY sport AT ALL. If fact, my only real talents are acting and burping at will (I'm soooooooo proud of the latter, oh ya.) So anyway, im in drama at school and we put on two short plays this year. I wasn't in one of them at all, but that's OK because i had over forty lines in the other. We performed part of the play for the school last Thursday and I was SO scared, but i think most people liked it because we had a pretty big crowd at the real performanses on Thursday and Friday nights. Anyway, the play, and therefore drama, is over now. I'm really gonna miss it. And, next year I'll be in high school so i won't be able to see my sixth-and-seventh-grade drama friends.: (  Hey will you guys pray for this kid in drama? His name is Even and he's an AMAZING actor. He's only in sixth grade and he has more lines than anybody in the whole play. Anyway, he dosn't have any friends, he sits all by him self at lunch and everything.He cried today because drama kids are his only friends and now it's over. Poor Even. Gtg blog later!!!!

It's been awhile. I've been on checking peoples posts and stuff, just...not posting. I've been pretty busy. School, Fine Arts, everything. We had competition this weekend. I competed in Large Drama, small Drama, Drama Solo, and Youth Choir. I advanced in all of them and got first with Choir and my Large Drama. I was pretty excited, especially because this is the first time I've ever advanced in anything other than choir.
One more month of school. I have finals this year, which is really weird and is...kinda freaking me out. I've never had a final before, and I don't do well with tests. So anyway...umm..not much going on here. I'm really looking forward to the summer. No more school baby!! Wahoo!! Well, I've gotta go finish my room so i don't get grounded. Leave me lots of comments!

You know when you are experiencing something and at one single moment you smile because life holds so many unexpected things.......things that are beautiful and wonderful.

And for a second you just feel so overwhelmed by the gifts God gives and you finally sigh with relief because it feels like everything is as it should be.

I love little moments......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiUEbJbAGNo

Watch it. You will smile.

so as i'm sitting at home sick with nothing to do and bored out of my mind, i figured i'd write a phusebox entry.

fine arts districts competition was this past weekend. i competed in praise team, female vocal solo, large human video group, short story, and digital photography. i advanced in large human video group and advanced with 1st place in our worship team. i'm pretty excited. we're going to indiana this summer for a week for national competition. since i didn't go to nationals last year, i'm really glad that i get to go this year.

umm. yeah. that's basically been my life for the past three months. just a buttload of practicing. but it all paid off. and i've gotten a lot closer with my leaders...so that's pretty cool. i'm still trying to adjust with being in a new youth group..and i'm sorry if i didn't go to your performances (family worship group), but i felt like i had to support my group first...if you know what i mean. i don't love you any less. ;]

but congrats to everyone who advanced. i'll see you in INDY! =]

this summer's gonna be crazy though. i'm going to the 2nd week youth camp with the church, then i'm also going to the 2nd with kids camp with the church...it's gonna be different since i won't be a camper that week. and then i'll have national fine arts....along with any extra schoolwork i might have to do since i'm taking an AP english course next year. fun stuff.

but yeah.
i'll shut up now.
haha.

love you all...
[becca]

Fine Arts was amazing!! Almost half of our entries advanced, and a few of our entries won first place.

 The best part in my opinion isn't the competiotion, it's the fact that I bought some killer shoes! They were $4.99, it was tax free weekend, they were the last ones in stock, and they were in my size. Heck yes I was getting them! They absolutlely rock!

Now I'm waiting for class to get out, and am fuming slightly at the college kids that don't have school anymore. Jerks.We've got about three weeks left, not counting finals (which I have to take, stupid getting sick in January making me miss almost 2 weeks. Grrrrrr).

Let's see... what else...

 

Monday
8:00am Molecular Genetics final
6:00pm German final presentation

Tuesday
Birthday (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

Wednesday
10:30am French final

Thursday
10:30am Biochemistry final
5:00pm Dinner with nutty grandfather
6:00pm Baking Boston cream pie

Friday
3:00pm Gathering flowers while I may
5:30pm Set-up for in cursu graduation ceremony
7:00pm Aforementioned ceremony

Saturday
5:00am Drive to ETSU for a friend's graduation

Sunday
10:30am Drive to airport for week-long trip to DC and Disney

The next seven days definitely have an upward slant to them.  :-)

I've fully decided that God can do anything, but wants us to be involved.

Will you be involved?

This summer I'm taking a huge step of faith and raising up $6000 to go to a country (Sweden) that is spiritually dead. So far I've raised about $2100... and God has been SO faithful.

Please pray for my team... $6,000 is a LOT of money, but we know God can do anything he wants to.

P.S. - This time in a year, I'll be about to get married... crazy!

Okay, so we're here at Exam Week, and I'm looking at Exam Day on Wednesday.  I've got my PoliSci exam that I need at least an 80 on in order to make a B; later that day, I've got my Spirituality and Counseling exam that I have no clue about, so I won't study.  Then on Thursday, I can take an optional quiz for Abnormal Psych.  That one's a funny one...

The teacher gave us a grading scale which is as follows:
There are 6 10-question multiple choice quizzes, each worth 10 points.  These points add up to earn certain grades (as many courses do, actually).  An A is 52-60 points; after the 6th quiz, I have 51.  So I'm going to go in and hopefully get one question right on the optional quiz to get an A.  I think I've got it.

I'm a sucker for...

1. guitar players 2. Tenors 3. Smart guys 4. Animal lovers 5. Blondes 6. Blue-eyed hunks...lol 7. A GOD-SERVING GUY 8. Tall guys (but not too tall!) and last, but not least...SANTA!!!!

remember, i heart guys that heart music...lol

I dont know if you all have heard this song before but, it has really helped me the past few days.

God above all the world in motion
God above all my hopes and fears
I don't care what the world throws at me now
It's Gonna Be Alright!

Hear the sound of a generation
Making loud our freedom song
All in all that the world would know Your name
It's Gonna Be Alright!

Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know that His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me
Salvation Is Here!

This is the bed where Abe Lincon died, right across the street from Ford's Theator. Did you know that Abe was reading the play Macbeth and it was so depressing that he was motivated to see a happy play at Ford's. It's true. I wish everybody could be like Abe. Honost, tall, and with really good tastes in head gear. We'd all be truthful basketball players with cool hats. That would be the life. Sorry if i totally wasted your time with this blog, i just wanted to talk about the best Prez EVER!!!!!! He ended slavery, man!!!!!

... yep, I'm over at Old Man Morgan .... but I still check in to see who else is blogging .... and I comment from time to time ...

... its just impossible to post pics on Phusebox (from overseas) ... so I have my own site.

ciao ciao

Well, I've studied all I can handle for now. I've studied for 2 days strait and I'm finding myself staring blankly at my book. I'm exhausted and overworked. I'm going to study more tonight, but I probably won't be able to study much without falling asleep.

I don't know if it's a consolation or not to know that this is going to be the best I can do.

hi people.  i'm enjoying life, you could say.  i don't think i'm going to post any more of my story, but i might.  if i'm going to get it published, i don't want everyone to read it first!  Then, when (if) they get the book, it spoils the surprise...but i probably will post a little more.  when i write more, that is!  Anyways,

carmen likes someone!  duh.  i also just got some new songs for my iPod!  i need ideas, though.  I can't decide (or think of) which songs to put on there.  I hate science fair experiments.  i REALLY don't like them at all.  for like the first time in my life, i'm looking forward to school tomorrow.  woo school.  sometimes i don't understand...i wish i did.  i'm really confused right now.  I like Leeland.  They're purty dang cool.  Oh, durn.  I'm not looking forward to school tomorrow...nevermind.  We are staying in algebra all stinkin' day to prep for Gateway.  Why do they test us so much?  I HATE IT.  But, i get to spend all day with my friends...cool!  i'm quite bored.  bored out of the mind i don't have.

i went to a baseball game on wednesday with neely...it was fun!  i didn't know austin was the pitcher.  i think it's funny to watch people pitch.  okay...hi...tata

t.t.y.l.a.y.w.p.t.i.l.a.a.b.

n.r.c.i.d.e.k.s.o.y.b.a.b.i.g.w.n.r.

b.i.n.l.j.n.w.a.

I saw like everyone today. I saw Carmen, Sydnee, Hayley, my sister's friend Abby, and my friends from church. I got these two really cute pairs of flip flops. I love flips flops. If I could wear flip flops all year I would. I hate wearing socks. I also got these two really cute shirts and a pair of capri pants from Goody's. I saw Carmen at Goody's. You looked really cute. ;)Today's a day where you want to spend as much time as you can outside. I like days like today. They are refreshing. They remind me of vacations to Florida.

My little cousin's parents left this morning for a cruise so he's staying at our house all week. I love him, but he's really annoying. All he wants to do is play video games. And guess where my mom decided to put all his games. In my room. So I can't even watch TV or practice my dance. I can't wait till' January so I can be on a cruise not worrying about school. It will be my fourth cruise so I can't wait.

How can you be so certain of things but then suddenly everything not make sense????
How can you be so sure that everything is going to be ok, then suddenly that all be taken away???
When does life make sense???
grrrrr....I hate this feeling....

A woman can say more in a
sigh
than a man can say in a sermon. 
~Arnold Haultain ~

my cousin cindy is special. she likes to wear a helmet.

but i love her anyway.

actually we are both pretty special.

nathan is not amused.

cindy and i are so special, that we like to hang airfreshners on her husband's bike.

we are grrrrrreat!


last night was a lot of fun! my cousin and her husband are quite entertaining. she really had her helmet on in our car. and this one guy pulled up next to us and said, "she has a helmet on!" and cindy said, "it's for saftey." hahahahahahahahaha.... hahaha... ha

ugh.

I haven't been on here for awhile.

Like, awhile meaning for a very long time.
But then again... I'm not a huge fan of blogs and stuff. I just happen to have them for unknown purposes. But that's me, doing something without quite knowing why.

I made $50 baby-sitting kids for 8 hours. I don't know if it's worth it, because it adds up to basically $6/hour.



I'm quite tired. But it is 2:30, just about.

I'm in love with a boy. Who is in love with me.
So it works out.

All Who Advanced To Nationals:
[♥=ones that took 1st in State]
[*= ones i am in]
- Meghan's Short Sermon
- ♥ Jaime's Drama solo
- Isaiah's Drama solo
- Marybeth's Drama solo
- Alex's Drama solo
- *Skitzo's Small Human Video Group
- ♥ Michelle's Trumpet Solo
- *Can't give up now Duet
- Brianna & Kate's Duet
- ♥*Elevate Large Drama Group
- J Squared Small Drama Group
- ♥*FWC Youth Choir
- Ben's Guitar Solo
- *Total Praise Large Vocal Ensemble

that would be 14 of the 30 total that competed from our church..

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!     :-[

I HATE it when someone tries to critisize someone for the EXACT same thing they are doing themselves

Yes, that would be a very accurate way to describe the medal
I have. CAUSE I WON
STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yup, so it's that time again. It's time to rewind and think about the presentation and how it went.

First, I'm tired. This presentation made me tired I'm not sure why. Well, I think it went pretty well. Besides me totally messing up in every song. grrrrrr....oh, well. Oh, well we didn't get all that much time to put on makeup that was kinda different. I was hoping for more time. I guess I didn't look that bad. As for the presentation, it went well. The people were really open to it. : ) To God Be the Glory!!!

maybe i'll start updating this more often.

I'm almost positive I'm going to bomb my Old Testament final.

The last test took a HUGE amount of time to study for and it was only over 70 pages. This one is over ~250 pages. I can't afford to devote that much time to it because I would sacrifice my other tests for this one.

If I make below a 65 I fail the class, if I make a 92 I get a B.... This test matters a lot
I'm stressed.

Whats up?
My life has gotten a little better since my last post! :)Thanks for all the prayers and encouraging words. Last night i went to some Ice-Cream party thingy-ma-bob... it was pretty fun. LOL some of the pictures were.... "haha" is all i can say, but yeah it was fun. Lane left for SC this morning so i am going to have to take care of all her fantastic horses,dogs, and cats....sounds like fun right there :P Well as you know its Saturday and i am home alone. Everyone is gone, my mom is working and my sister... is somewhere but she left at 5:30 in the morning and i almost killed her.... and Seth is at his soccer games! Yep Yep! And all my friends are  presenting and i can't go :( BLAH!! I guess i will go find something fantastic to do! :) Have a FANTASTIC rest of this fine looking Saturday.
                              ~*~Grace~*~

    I feel like a proud mother. I'm bursting with pride for all of you who competed tonight. See all that hard work and long hours of practice paid off! I love you all and I am so so so so so proud of you :-)

I was looking through my journal entries to see if I had changed any and to see what I thought about then. It was kind of funny to see what I actually thought then.

Anyway's I found this poem I wrote that I like the meaning and all, but I don't really like how it's written. Ms.Redden thought it was really good, but I wanted to see what yall thought.

"Who I Want to Be"

I want to fall into emptiness

I want to fall into the sea.

I want to become who

I've always dreamnt to be.

I want to be the girl who everyone knows

The girl who doesn't constantly worry about her clothes.

I want to be noticed by someone (Joseph ;),

anyone at all.

I want to feel the joy

of people who have it all.

I want to fall into emptiness

I want to fall into the sea.

I want to become who

I've always dreamnt to be.

I don't want to be shy anymore

I' coming out of my shell.

I don't know just quite how yet,

but I'm breaking free somehow.

I want to fall into emptiness

I want to fall into the sea.

I want to become who

I've always dreamnt to be.

I'm so sorry Keri. My mom wouldn't let me go to the play because I had already promised Shauna two weeks ago that I would go to the movies with her. I'm so sorry. I wanted to come really badly.

We went to go see Kickin It Old Skool. It was really dumb but funny. It was like Napolean Dynamite all over again.

I plan on coming to your presentation tomorrow, Carmen. My said I could go to that because I don't already have any prior arrangements. Keri, you need to show me all your play parts when at your b-day party. I can't wait. You do want a iTunes card, don't you. Just making sure. ;)

Today we had Field Day. I don't know if we won or not. Ms. Murrell said we were winning, but this afternoon, my friend Catie on the Maroon Team said that their hall won. I hope they didn't win,so then we can spend a half day outside so we can talk to our friends and listen to our iPods. No one really payed attention to the outside sports. Everyone just talks to their friends. I payed a little attention to the baseball game. I saw Joseph make a home run. It made me really happy. He's so cute, but he'll never like me. He's too popular to like somebody like me.Ms.Murrell told Austin and Bradley that we wanted their autographs.

I can't wait till' next week. We are starting writing club back up next week. I'm so excited. I haven't got to see Ms.Redden that much this nine weeks. It will be fun to hang out with her again. We get to work the book fair too. That will be fun. I'm asuming we scratched the idea about the magazine because we really don't have time to make one. Oh well. I only sumbitted one poem, and it wasn't even that good.

So in case you haven't already guessd, I'm a sucker for video contests, even though I've only entered one... but I'm always wanting to enter one but don't normally have the time.

Well TobyMac has turned things around for me. He is hosting a music video contest, and I am definitely going to have to enter this one. The prize isn't nearly as impressive as a MacBookPro (that was the prize for the other one I had entered) but it will still be a good experience if nothing else. Anyhow, I think the song I'm going to do is "I'm For You". I think I can do a lot with it. So I may have to put the Facebook soap opera on hold and do this first, or do the two simultaneously... ooh wouldn't that be something? Two projects at once like a pro... Anyhow, as always, let me know if you want to help!

So, right now Jarred is sleeping. Yes, I know it's late but he needs to sleep. You see, He worked a 12 hr. shift last night. How did he do it?? He worked an over night shift at Kohl's. Now, this means that he went to work at 6 p.m and didn't get off till 6 a.m. : ) Poor guy. Plus he has to work tonight.

I actually practiced last night. It was good. I hope to be able to practice a little more tonight. I need to work on There is a God and America Again. It's been a while since I've done those songs. Oh, did I mention Jarred is going to be presenting??? Yup, he is. That shall be fun.

I guess I should end this now since I don't have anything else to say. I love you all.

Has it really been that long?  wow...  i've been on reading almost every day, so don't think i've completely checked out on you.  i just haven't had much to say.  hey, check out the new look and my post at thechrismorgan.com.  it's pretty sweet!

I have one final next week on which I need a 78 to get an A.  Then, assuming I don't go to grad school, it's my last final ever!  I still have a semester of student teaching, but there, I'll be giving the exams instead of taking them.  Bwahaha!

The very end of March, I started taking some of the fitness classes over at the university gym.  I don't normally like to sweat or, well, exert myself physically, but they have been a lot of fun.  Josh tells me he can see a difference, but the important part is how different I feel.  I have more energy, and it really seems to put me in a great mood.  I feel great!  I am hungry all the time though!

In reference to the parking problems at Tech, I did get a letter back from President Bell.  He said that they regret the problems and will be looking into possible solutions.  I thought, "yeah right," but I talked to the director at the CDL, and apparently the day that I got the letter, there had already been about 6 emails from President Bell and others talking about possible solutions.  I suppose we'll see if anything will happen.

Daniel is growing like a weed.  I dropped him off in the toddler room the past two mornings.  He seems to really be thriving in there.  He doesn't cry or even fuss when I drop him off, he seems to love all of the new toys, and the majority of the other children are very sweet to him.  I'm sad that my little darling is growing up so quickly!  He's not a baby anymore; he's a little boy!  *sniff*sniff*  It's just unbelievable that he's already so big and so old.  I knew it would go by quickly, but I didn't think it'd be quite so fast!  I am so proud of him though.  I think he's going to learn a lot in the toddler room, and I'm excited to see all the new things he'll be able to say and do.

my favorite sport season is here, besides baseball (because baseball is glorious), yes, finals season is here.

you may be wondering to yourself, "how and why is patrick considering finals a sport". well, anytime a person puts in alot of work and long hours into something and makes it competitive at the same time, then yes, it could be a sport. i say this cause i just got back from the library at 230 in the AM, and yet, my night is not over. i still have at least 2 or more hours of studying.

so, i'm going to get going.

piece

My name.......

J- Makes people laugh

A- Gorgeous

I- Loves to laugh

M- Makes dating fun

E- Freakin beautiful Eyes


H- Easy to fall in love with

O- Has one of the best personalities ever

L- Best smile

L- Best smile

I- Loves to laugh

S- Lives life for fun


R- Good girlfriend

H- Easy to fall in love with

I- Loves to laugh

A- Gorgeous

N- Can kick your butt

N- Can kick your butt

O- Has one of the best personalities ever

N- Can kick your butt


C- Really easy to fall in love with

R- good girlfriend

A- Gorgeous

B- Loves people

T- Great kisser

R- Good girlfriend

E- Freakin beautiful eyes

E- Freakin beautiful eyes


Well? Is it true?

Today was weird because we had different classes because of the play cuts. They were really funny. Keri, if you are reading this, you did awesome!!! I plan on going to the play tomorrow night. My mom's sick today so we can't go tonight. Ahh...I can't wait till' I get my new phone. I hate the one I have now. It's so STUPID. Tomorrow's our field day. I'm not playing anything. I'm just going to be a spectator. But I look forward to talking to my friends and no school work (and getting sunburned ;).) This week was a reall bad week for Spirit Week. I'm going to try to work around Clash Day and wearing something that I won't get hot in tomorrow. I'll probally wear stuff and then ask Ms. Murrell to change out of all of it.

It seems like everyones worrying about guys lately. I really like this one guy. He's nice, but he popular so he'll never like me. Oh well. I don't need to worry about that stuff right now. I need to be worrying about my science fair project. It really stinks that only the advanced classes have to do it. I guess that's what I get for being brilliant. ;) Oh well, my project pretty easy to do so that's good.

Well I should be going so I'll talk to you guys later.

PLEASE REMARK!!  I love constructive criticism!

-Chapter 2 (cont.)-

I was walking from school to my house, alone and depressed.  I walked up to my front porch, and lo and behold there sat the jerk I call Benson.  "Hey, Rayne!" he said.  "Oh, hey Benson!" I said, sarcastically.  "Now you notice me.  If you don't mind my asking, why the heck are you sitting on my front porch?"  "Well, I was waiting for you."  Oh, brother!  He's such a faker...why does he even care about me anyways?  "I don't understand, Benson.  Just today at school you acted like you had no clue who I was!"  He frowned.  "Yeah, I'm sorry about that.  If you want me to leave, I will.  That was wrong of me."  Aww!!!  How sweet!  (How could I resist such flattery?)  "No, that's okay!  Just let me go put my stuff up...I want to talk to you."  I walked inside, threw my stuff down, and ran back out.  He smiled when he saw me, and my heart skiped a beat when I saw him.  I was going crazy over this boy, and I had to figure him out.

-Chapter 3-

"Benson, what's up with you?  I mean, how can I be sure that tomorrow at school you won't act like you've never seen me before?  Because the Benson I saw today at school was not the same one that I talked to for 2 hours yesterday afternoon.  Not the one who made me feel...um...happy!  Yeah, that's the word...happy."  He looked at me...his eyes were soft and it was one of those, 'there's no need for words' moments.  "Rayne, I have something to tell you.  First of all, I'm sorry...and second, I...nevermind."  If you hadn't caught on yet, yes, I very much liked Benson.  "You what?" I asked; hoping it was what I wanted to hear.  "Well, nevermind, Rayne.  You probably won't care.  You're way too pretty and smart to care about someone like me...I've gotta go." Oh, no.  Stab in the heart.  "No, Benson, wait!!" I yelled, hoping to get a positive response.  But he didn't stop.  I remember knowing that I should follow him and tell him how I really felt, but I didn't go.  I had to make a point to do that...sometime in the near future, before he slipped between the cracks and I lost him.  I really didn't want that.  So, there I was, alone yet again...and mad.  Mad at myself for not going after him.  There really was something different about Benson.  Something good different.  Wow, I think I've fallen for him so hard that I've broken something and I can't get up!

-    *    *    *    -

As soon as I got back home, I prayed...hard.  I prayed for Benson, and whatever was going on with him.  I prayed for Milly, that she would forgive me, I was so stupid.  I prayed for my parents, I know it's a pain having to put up with me.  And, last but not least, I prayed for help.  I needed God's help!  I felt as though I was stuck in some sort of trap and the only way to get out was through Him.  All of the sudden, the phone rang.  It was Milly.  "Listen, Ray, I'm so sorry.  I'm not better than you, you are great just the way you are, and I don't know everything.  Do you want to come over so we can talk about it?"  She sounded so sincere!  (Thanks, God.)  "Milly, are you sure you want me to do that?  Do you think we can?" I really didn't want to hurt her feelings.  "Rayne, you're my best friend and I want to talk to you!"  "Okay, Mills, I'll be right over."  I grabbed my stuff and began my long, treacherous journey to the other side of the neighborhood.

Well, for those of you who take the time to read this, I hope it was worth it :), haha...

                                         Transcendent

Enter into the thick, blood thirsty air of 29 AD, where an odd echoseems to be permeating the atmosphere...

"Never... underestimate our Jesus..."

And the carnage begins:
He's just a carpenter's son!
No better than the rest of us,
As the law bound hypocrites,
Tried him of his blasphemous, repugnant crimes.
Haha! The King of the Jews, are you?
Scowled the hate-filled soldiers,
Before they crowned him in their disgust,
And beat him like a scoundrel.
They they carried him to the cross, pinned in agony and humiliation,
For crimes he had not the capacity to commit,
Yet was forced to stay broken there, and bleeding,

And yet, in the midst of all the pain, all the noise,and all the
hate..
A whisper,
Carried on the wind of a thousand of the redeemed,

"Never underestimate our Jesus,They're telling you there is no hope, we're telling you,

They're wrong."

Nonsense.
The aural echo dissipates as the crowds hurl their malicious insults,
Drowning whatever hope you may have thought you heard.
As prior hope turns to despair, you look up to see him crying out inagony,
Asking his father, why he had been forsaken.
And right then, regardless of what that "echo" was stating, you
decide:
All hope is lost.

But all of the sudden the ground shakes, and a chaos of a different
hue ensues,
"The temple veil has been torn in two!" You hear one shout,
"Some who were dead are now alive!" Shouts another...
And then the clutter becomes too much,
You can't take in the surprise, uncertainty, and fear among the
people,
All seems like an overbearing blur.
Your ears feel as if they'll bleed from this emotional, unstable
cacophony bearing down on you...
And then you hear it..
A declaration so absurd, so inconceivable, but even as it blisters
your weary ears,
You can't deny it,
"Surely this man was the Son of God!"

And then,
It all makes sense.
And even as you see a limp body taken down from His execution, the
later news you find of his resurrection bore no resemblance to the
deep, resonating assurance you found at this time, and at this
moment.
He is, the Son of God
Jesus Christ, the Savior, of the entire world,
And He's giving His life
For you.
And then...following the peace, following your belief... in the wake
of your consumption with your revelation,
All goes quiet.

And a silence so penetrating ensues, that the few moments it lasts
seem all too ominous to withstain.
But then,
Something happens...,

And a faint, faint whisper, rises from the stillness,
And all the angels gathered with the saints and said,

"Never,
Underestimate our Jesus.
They told you there was no hope,
And we're telling you:

They were wrong."

I am done with algebra FOREVER! Now, I am going to take a nap and promptly forget every bit of it! God is good. And I saw my prof's grade sheet; I think I will end up with an A-. Not what I wanted, but it is ok with me. Apparently, I got one of the hardest teachers in the math dept. Why did no one warn me?

Why Me....
Why Now....
*** I mean i can't handle this anymore... i need people standing by me not pushing me to do things i shouldn't do! Do people not understand i am trying to get on track with God??? Why do i have to go through this.... It comes to me doing something wrong or losing someone i love. *** Austin dont say a word*** I need all the prayers i can get right now!! PLEASE

I'm not sure which one fits me. I think I'm sad that a certain someone isn't coming to the presentation. But, happy that I get to present. Not like I've practiced yet, keep your mouth shut tyler!!!!

In other news, I found out that life is pretty funny. Nope nothing like what you may expect. We got our vacuum fixed today and me and jarred were taking turns using it. stupid!!! Gosh. Vacuuming shouldn't be fun. I think that has worn off though.

If not now . . . When????

SO close. I have my evil, nasty, awful final tomorrow. Then things are pretty nice.

AND I am going to Displace Me this weekend! You have no idea how excited/pumped/freaked out I am. And I am hoping to get people to come with me.

www.invisiblechildren.com/displaceme

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!! lol

-Chapter 2-

"Do you play any sports?"  I said as I walked alongside my newly-found companion.  (Yeah, I know, I'm not exactly romantic!)  "Well, I like basketball and baseball, but I just transferred so I don't have a school team."  "Oh, cool...I guess.  What school are you going to now?"  "Stanley middle.  I start tomorrow."  When he said that, my heart jumped.  I didn't understand it.  "Oh, my gosh!  That's, like, my school!"  What was wrong with me?  'Oh, my gosh that's like my school'?  What was I thinking?  I don't talk like that!  He started skipping and waving his hands around saying,"That's, like, totally awesome, girl!"  (Great, now he was mocking me.)  We walked past my house a few times, talking about random things: sports, school, music, art, and then something totally unexpected-love.  "Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked me, very unexpectedly.  That was like a stab in the heart, after what had happened a mere few minutes ago with Milly.  I cringed.  "No," I said,"I guess I'm just not the 'girlfriend type'."  He looked puzzled.  "Sure you are!  Maybe just not for the guy you've got your eye set on.  You never know, someone could come along...when you least expect it."  He glanced at his watch and said,"Sorry, I have to go!  See you at school tomorrow, uh...um, I didn't catch your name."  "My name's Rayne!  And your's?"  "Name's Benson!" he yelled.  By this time, he was already half a football field away from me.  "Wow," I thought,"He's awesome."

-    *    *    *    -

The next day at school, I had butterflies...was it because of him?  I kept looking around, but I didn't see him.  Then, on my way to lunch, there he was.  He looked even more gorgeous than beore!  I waved at him, but he just looked at me like he didn't know who the heck I was or why I was waving at him.  So, I went over there.  "Hey, Benson!  What's up?"  Just then, Josh came over there.  He brought along his stupid girlfriend, who was instantly 'attracted' to Benson.  A cold stab of jealousy jabbed me in the side.  I just walked off, trying to avoid any conflicts.  I looked back and they hadn't even noticed I'd left!  All I could hear was some loud laughter and what sounded like my name followed by a distorted sounding,"Hey, Benson!  What's up?".  I thought I had found someone who liked me for who I was.  But, things aren't always what they seem.  He was just one of those stupid popular robots.  Sometimes I wish that just for once, someone would like me...just once.

-    *    *    *    -

to be continued...i have more but i've run out of time!

So I finished the last of my freshman classes yesterday. It's hard to believe my first year of college is almost over! Just 6 finals and I'm done. Today is studying/ "reading" day, however, I haven't seemed to accomplish much of that. Hopefully I will the rest of the day. By tuesday I'll be finished with everything, but I'm hanging around Cleveland until next Saturday afternoon. Then it's 3 months "home", which in all honesty I'll see very little of home b/c most of it will be spent at Easter Seals, and then back here on August 7th to start RA training and everything for the next year. Things are going to be busy for the next few months, but I'm really excited about.

I should probably attempt to do that studying thing now....

Today we had a bomb threat. This guy found a threat note in the bathroom. We had to sit outside for a long time. Then it started raining. Really hard. Everyone got really wet. Why have there been all these threats since the VT accident. Do people think it's cool? It's not. It's retarded. Did you guys that went on the Beta field trip have fun? It was sad without you here at school.

talk about schweetness! I just finished my last class for the semester. All that I have left are three finals over two days next week and then no more!

I wish to be... admired.
I love to be... held.
I hope to be... precious.
I deserve to be... sought after.
I long to be... enough.
i need to be loved.

Ok, so I just noticed that my pants are wearing down in the knees. Which means I will be retiring them soon. drats. I really like these to wear around the house. Oh, well.

Oh, our presentation is on Saturday...But, I'm going to do lousy cuz I haven't practiced. Man, I wish Lane had time to really work with me in There is a God. That's not going to look good. grr...I should get motivated to practice. : )

so wow. All-State was last Thursday-Saturday, and it was freakin amazing. i couldn't believe how much fun i had! granted, i thought my legs were going to have to be amputated, but it was worth it! firstly, our conductor, Dr. Snow, was fantastic. she was one of the nicest women i've ever met. secondly, everyone was really awesome, especially the Siegel kids i met. i honestly thought that i would end up hating them, but they were all so much fun! (although apparently, i am quite the harlot for going to get ice cream with two guys at night....ha.) but yeah. we got to go see the symphony at the Schermerhorn, along with other performances like that, and to top it all off, we got to do our big performance in the Schermerhorn as well! Let me tell you, it was amazing! The acoustics were out of this world, and our choir definitely sounded the best! (not that i'm biased or anything...) i mean, like, we got a standing ovation in the middle of our performance!

anyways. yeah. things are kind tough right now, and i realize that a lot of it is my own doing, but that doesn't really make it suck less. but governor's school is like, 6 or 7 weeks away, which is definitely a good thing. also, i have my voice recital coming up on May 3rd! yay rah! i'm singing two songs from Wicked, and i hope that they'll be ok. also, i found out yesterday that i have to go to the Awards Banquet for some award, but i don't know what it's for...weird.

so right now i'm in the process of attempting to break away from an extremely deep friendship, but i'm not really telling anybody (at least not anybody who would tell him...i think...) because i just want to quietly break away. but the whole thing is rather excruciating to think about, because i know how much i am going to miss him. i honestly love him so much, and i'm not sure what i'm gonna do without him next year. maybe things will change. but probably not, and that means that i'll probably have to be best-friend-less again next year. but that's ok. i feel like this is something that God is calling me to do. i just want to do it right this time around. this friendship has been affecting me mentally and spiritually for much too long, and it is time to put an end to all the internal warfare. but i have faith that if God takes him away, He will bring someone/something else along to fill that void. anyways, i have to go to bed, so i'll post more later. goodnight everyone! much love---Cari  

really throw me for a loop.

I just don't get it.

Let me know if/when you visit again, and we'll talk.

Right?

ahhh....

wow i am hyper for now reason
i think it was from the oreo cookies

Today was our all A college field trip. We went to David Lipscomb. It was pretty fun I guess. I was more fun when we went to Bellmont last year. But we also didn't have to do any school work though, so that was good. They had really good food. I can't wait till' college. I want to go to a private Christian college, and I want to major in journalism. I got this really cute shirt. I just wish Keri and Carmen could come. :( If you guys are reading this, I love you. I didn't get to see you guys like all day. :(

Today was Dressy Day. I had these really cute shoes, but they really hurt my feet. I have these really bad blisters. It didn't help much either that we walked a lot today. Tomorrow's Patriotic Day. I don't really know what I'm going to wear tomorrow. Oh well.

I'm going to miss all my friends tomorrow while they are on the Beta field trip. I would be going if my mom hadn't forgot the due date for the money. Thanks mom. But I think she should have taken the money. I mean a lot of people did the same thing. Oh well. Tootles.

Right now, I want more than anything to live in my own house or apartment and to find the right guy for me. I just want to be held. I feel isolated from my friends, i guess because hannah didn't do anything for my birthday (who calls herself my best friend) and jessica is happy doing her own thing with her friends and her new guyfriend. I'm disappointed in hannah but i'm not mad at jessica or anything, i'm happy for her. God, please lead me where you want me to go. help me to find what i need. help me not to be selfish.

hey, i told you guys i LOVE to write, correct?  (i just said that so i didn't have to say "write, right?"...lol)  well, here's an "I'm bored so i wrote this" one!

-Preface-

Do I really stare at him that much?  I sometimes catch myself doing it...but not that often!  He says I always stare at him, but who wouldn't?  He's gorgeous!  Why do I stare at him?  It doesn't matter.  He would never like me anyways.  No matter how nice he might be, I don't think he could forsake his popularity...for me.  He's so perfect, it almost makes me jealous, but then I wonder WHY I don't like him instead!  I mean, they are the same in a way...but that's not important.  Right now, I'm not sure if I like him or not...I almost hope I do.  But every time I like someone, I end up almost leading myself on--making myself believe they like me.  I say I love them, but do I?  Can I?  I'm scaring myself...will anyone ever believe it if it's true?  Will I even?  I THINK I'M IN LIKE.

-Chapter 1-

I'm extreme sometimes.  I get very worked up, and on a rare occasion, Milly has to calm me down.  "Don't worry about him, he's a jerk!  Don't you know that you are just wasting your time?"  There she was again, Milly was always trying to comfort me.  "Yeah, I know, Mills, but he's different!  I just know it!"  This guy we were fighting about, Josh, he was SO perfect!  I'd been crushing (HARD) on him for 3 months now, and there I was, yelling at Milly about another guy who didn't know I existed.  "Milly, why can't I find love just one time...just like everyone else?"  "Well," Milly said,"If Josh...isn't the one for you, God's got someone WAY better in His plan."  "Well, I know, Milly...but I'm beginning to think that no one will ever...like me."  "Ray, if I hear that from you one more time, I swear!"  We fought like this a lot, but this time was different.  Mills had a boyfriend.  Usually, we would sulk together, laughing at how silly that was.  But not now.  Now, it was like I was alone.  My best friend couldn't even relate to me!  "You don't understand, Mills, how can you?  You have a boyfriend and I don't!  You have everything."  "Ray, boys are not the important thing in life!  And just because I have a boyfriend and you don't doesn't mean you have the right to come to me and whine about it!"  Whoa, stop right there!  How could Milly say something like that to me?  She had been my best friend since we were both in kindergarten.  "Milly, you think you are so much better than me, but you're not!"  With tears in my eyes, I grabbed my back pack off her bed, jumped up, and slammed the door behind me, leaving Mills...I mean, Milly in complete and utter shock.  On my way out, her mom tried to stop me, but I didn't listen.  I was so hurt...Mills knew I was sensitive, especially about THAT situation, and she still said it!  I couldn't believe her!  By this time, I was walking down the sidewalk toward my house.  But in my anger, I tripped and ended up falling right at the feet of this gorgeous hunksicle!!!  He looked down at me and said "hi" with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.  In my embarrassment, I was able to mutter a shaky "hello".  He looked back at me, shook his hair, and said with a smirk,"You know, I'm not used to girls bowing down at my feet, but if you want to, I'm fine with it."  He helped me up and we started walking into the sunset, holding hands and talking about our future!  Okay, so maybe it didn't happen EXACTLY like that.

        do ya like it?           

Okay... so the MOST amazing weekend ever!!!!

prom went great.. a lot of things went wrong in getting ready for the thing- but it was worth the craziness... it's kinda sad because it's my last prom! but it was bananas!

Whats up my people?
Nothing much has changed in my weird and twisted life. Other then trying to please everyone and get through school with out driving myself craZy, i think i have been doing pretty Dandy. But it seems like most of my friends are going through these horible storms and i can't help. Its like watching someone on the brink of dieing and you can't help.... i know i sound like i am just rambling on about nothing but its something thats been driving me craZy. I guess all i can do is pray! Well thats probably the best thing i can do :)
MOVING ON
My best friend is going on vacation this Saturday, she will be gone for a week or so and i have to take care of all their fantastic animals while their gone. LOL that should be fun. It will give me something to do while she is gone i guess :) On Sunday i got 2 surprises, 1~ My oldest brother Shawn just showed up to hang out for the day. Its not normal for him just to show up given he lives in Memphis ;) So it was good seeing him & 2~ Tyler showed up at church. Yep Yep it was a fun filled day thats for sure. Well i am going to go write a paper :)
fun fun....... not!! Leave me remarks :)

I don't know why I feel compelled to mention this on here but anyways I felt like I needed to write about this somewhere. Is it just me or lately has tv been over saturated with sex and scandally clad women all over the place? I can not turn on the tv without seeing some product, tv show, or movie that features women in tight revealing clothing, sex jokes, or even worse showing nudity and sex scenes. In most of the scenarios the nude scene or "sexy" chick doesn't even tie into the story, plot, or purpose. Its just there to be there (maybe they think that what guys want to keep them interested I suppose). Its seems like lately I'm always having to change the channel and if I'm at someone else's house I always end up having to leave the room or just go home. And the bad thing about it is because this is so common now I think a lot of people have become indifferent to it even some of my Christian friends.

I think being a girl its a lot harder when your guy friends adopt this attitude because to me watching these things doesn't show much respect for their sisters in Christ. It makes me feel like they do not appreciate a godly woman who is living her life for Christ (check out the Proverbs 31 woman!) and obeying his commandments. Ultimately I know it only matters what God thinks of me. Only He knows my true heart and I am supposed look to Him for approval not man.

When I mention how we need to be careful of what we watch sometimes they get mad or say I'm overreacting but the Bible is clear about this in Ephesians 5:1-5:

 "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God."

Its hard sometimes when to know when to stick up for your beliefs and what you know is right because I know it can be very annoying for others to hear you say something everytime someone does something you don't like. I do believe there are times you have to speak up and then there are times you have to keep quiet. I think most importantly God is teaching me not to judge others as much. Although I may hate these kinds of shows and movies I have my own personal sins I am struggling with too. They are no less sinful than what someone else does so I need to always remember that.

Anyways that is enough for today...

One, two, three, FOURTEEN!! That's probably the most random way to count off a song. But man I love that song.

I hate the first few spring rains. They have a really bad habit of driving my allergies and sinuses up the wall, and always at the worst of times. Like this weekend...

Yes it's alomst Fine Arts, and man I can't wait for it to be over. At least until nationals, then I'm okay with working my butt of some more.

I finished Spindles End, now I have Rose Daughter. Yay!

I have been writing quite a lot lately. Mainly posted on xanga or my geocities account, I have lots of poetry and short stories and I keep... writing more. It is crazy. I just start walking and my mind acts like a narrator, adding intricate details to things I didn't even see happen. He gives reasons for why it happened, or reflections of some conjured irony.

Meanwhile, I'm still single and that's okay. There's this Rational though. She reminds me of Daria, except a theist. Although, I'm not sure if she is a Christian -- her roommates are Christians -- because I didn't ask her. I like her laugh and composure.

I like to climb things. It almost got me killed this evening, though, because I climbed a tall buildin, and got on its thin roof with a 35+ft. drop to some pavement. Go me. Praise God.

Daniel 4 has this really cool passage from like... verses 33 through 36 or something. Powerful. Moving. The confession of a man whose sanity was lost but was restored.

I get tested for the yellow belt in Hapkido a week from tonight. crazy.

For the next two weeks my Social Studies class is having a mock trial, and i'm a defence attorney. It is turning out to be a lot harder than i thought......even though our teacher kept saying "the lawyers will have work, I'll be a lot of work, be prepared for work......" It actually wouldn't be so bad if my other people would help me!!!!!!!!! Jessica has so far been the only real help in my group and she's not even one og the assistant lawyers!!!!!!! My assistants are Ben Something who can't do much but cuss, and Caleb who is super smart, but lazy. And then there's Erica. It you know her i don't even have to explain......and if you don't know her, be thankful. Anyway, it better work out because even if we don't win the trial,or whatever, my grade is at risk.