I've very recently fallen in love with that song... it's all Ryan's fault.he's the one that thought I'd enjoy a song with my name in it. Go figure. By the way the song is "Dear Jamie, Sincerely Me"  by Hellogoodbye.

Ryan (while I'm thinking about it) is my pet emo kid. Yes, I have a pet emo kid. I'm just trying to figure out what to feed him, at first I thought about black cookies and red punch, but that won't be enough to sustain him. These emo kids are touchy critters. Any suggestions?

Pa and Nana are going home for the weekend, I think Pa misses his sattelite dish. But he only has to take 6 radiation treatments instead of the original 10. Woo-hoo! They should be back on Sunday night, but I'm not sure when.

Fine Arts is in almost 2 weeks, and I'm not done with my drama solo, eep! I'm not sure how well it's going to turn out. None of you are allowed to laugh.

I'm only a little bored and mildly sleep deprived, and when I get home I have to do a whole mess of chores. That's not to say my laundry isn't high on my priority list, it's just not my first idea of how to kill a Friday night. If I get done with all of it, I may just curl up on the couch, pop in a DVD, and crash.

I've very recently fallen in love with that song... it's all Ryan's fault.he's the one that thought I'd enjoy a song with my name in it. Go figure. By the way the song is "Dear Jamie, Sincerely Me"  by Hellogoodbye.

Ryan (while I'm thinking about it) is my pet emo kid. Yes, I have a pet emo kid. I'm just trying to figure out what to feed him, at first I thought about black cookies and red punch, but that won't be enough to sustain him. These emo kids are touchy critters. Any suggestions?

Pa and Nana are going home for the weekend, I think Pa misses his sattelite dish. But he only has to take 6 radiation treatments instead of the original 10. Woo-hoo! They should be back on Sunday night, but I'm not sure when.

Fine Arts is in almost 2 weeks, and I'm not done with my drama solo, eep! I'm not sure how well it's going to turn out. None of you are allowed to laugh.

I'm only a little bored and mildly sleep deprived, and when I get home I have to do a whole mess of chores. That's not to say my laundry isn't high on my priority list, it's just not my first idea of how to kill a Friday night. If I get done with all of it, I may just curl up on the couch, pop in a DVD, and crash.

blessed are those who mourn
for they shall be comforted

well... today has been a day. this year has already been one of those years. the house where i lived for 11 years is... gone. some how it caught on fire today. it is so weird. this is one of those times where i have no idea how i feel... or what to say... i walked inside... walked out and forgot everything i just saw. i feel so weird.




the house is still standing, but everything inside is pretty much gone. we (as in my parents and i... it is their house) have to go and try to salvage stuff tommorrow.


but, through this, i have seen God's faithfulness. my parents friends and church have helped them so much already. they have some new clothes and a temporary place to stay. i know without a doubt that God will provide all their needs. He kept them safe and even our animals! and all the stuff that is damaged is just stuff. yeah, it maybe some photos that can't be replaced, but we have what we need. i am thankful it was not any worse.

so... that was my day. how was yours fellow phuser? haha i hope it was wonderful!!!

Wow...this is special!  "Really, are you sure there's really a wet road when it's raining??"  NO!!  (this is a fine example of rocket science, huh?)

-`*`-freeze-dried romance-`*`-

Today's lunch was really fun. Carmen was spinning her tortilla thing in from her lunch and it went flying across the table. I was eating when she did it and when I started laughing I also started choking. I couldn't breathe for like 30 seconds. Then she was flicking pineapples at people. One hit this popular girl and she was looking around to see where it came from. Another one fell right in the middle of this guy's plate. I also noticed today how boring the popular people lunches are. All they do is sit there and eat. I would hate to sit there. I would go crazy. I laugh at least half of my lunch with my friends. When we were walking back me and Keri were talking. I hit her with my lunchbox. She started screaming. Mr. Cochran (our social studies teacher) was like ladies. Keri told him that I had hit her and he just told her that I would never do something like that. That's what you get for talking to Carmen all through class, Keri. Then when we got back in the classroom, Keri started chasing me around the room. Got to go. My mom just got here with the pizza. Write tomorrow. ;)

I'm seriously going crazy right now. I just can't handle my dad. I don't think he means to, but he constanly makes my feel bad. He'll tell me to do something and go right in behind me. Then he calls me back in there and starts yelling saying that I need to redo it because it's not right. He's constanly nitpicking everything I do. Then I start crying and he acts like he doesn't have any clue what's wrong with me. And he never lets me voice my opinion. Even when I'm right about something he tells me that I should listen to him because he's the parent. He's also said before that it doesn't matter what my mom  says because he's the boss.  I just can't wait till' college so I don't have to deal with him. I know that's really bad to say, but you just don't know my dad. It's really frustrating sometimes. What's even worse is that when my mom, sister, and I are at church he's at home watching TV on the couch. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just really don't know.

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

Alright.... where to start? Well, I'm guessing it was kinda obvious from my last blog but in case you don't know my big news is I'm moving to FL this summer. It has DEFINITELY been the hardest choice I've ever had to make but I know it will be worth it to do God's will.

Anyway, on to the next subject.... well I don't really have another subject! I'm just at work and extremely bored so I thought I would get on here!! What I'm doing on here is basically nothing though... oh wait! I'm talking to Grace. hehe I knew that! Dude, I am so tired I can't even remember what I'm doing! I need sleep. A lot of sleep..... I really love sleep. I'm not sure why... I just have this passionate love for sleep... is that bad??? LOL

Wow, I just re read this blog and it's kinda weird so I think I'm going to stop writing before I embarrass myself anymore than I already have....

Hey, so lot has happend! lets start with i get to go to camp 86 hours! :) lol i can't wait to get away for a little while. Everything that has been happening lately has been putting my down :( But something pretty cool is, yesterday i got up saying "this is going to be a good day!" and everytime i got peeved or sad or anything i would walk away and pray! And that day was fantastic....tell that night....but thats a different story!
MOVING ON
Tamara got me listening to the best song ever... Walking Her Home!! It is so sweet!! :)
its like my new favorite song :P lol i change my favorite song all the time. 
school has been OK!! i was bored the other day and just started writing a paper... i'm not finished but i love to write so it's fun for me :) lol
Well thats about all i have been doing, i haven't got to see my horses in a long time 
:( but maybe this weekend i can go out there and ride!! :P i hope :)
Thanks for listening...or reading...

Grace***

...He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home...

For those of you who don't know, John Stossel is a libertarian reporter for ABC news.  If you have the time (it's forty minutes long), check out this special he did for 20/20 about public schools....

Stupid In America

I dont really know how to start off my first blog and people probally wont read it but.... i will try it out ... noting interesting has been happing so far today but I know I just got back from savannah and tybee isle  and i loved it there(even though it was chilly) and I am haveing some withdrawls from it. I am definatly going back this summer... The atmosphere is great and the mossy trees hanging down over the busy with people roads is -------- i dont know the word.

You know that doesn't work. Just not thinking about something doesn't make it go away. It sometimes makes it worse. I've been thinking about my grandmother a lot lately. It's weird but I really miss her. Like a lot. This song kinda reminds me of when she was really sick right before she died. My grandfather would at night go and sleep right by her side.

Walking Her Home, Mark Schultz

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call
And her dad said son
have her home on time
and promise me you'll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
and he was ten feet off the ground

as he was walking her home
Holding her hand
Oh, the way she smiled
stole the breathe right out of him
down that old road
with the star up above
he remembers where he was
when he fell in love
he was walking her home

ten more years and a waiting room
at half past one
and the doctor said come in and meet your son
his knees went weak
when he saw his wife
she was smiling as she said he's got your eyes
and as she slept he held her tight
his mind went back to that first night

as he was walking her home
Holding her hand
Oh, the way she smiled
stole the breathe right out of him
down that old road
with the star up above
he remembers where he was
when he fell in love
he was walking her home

He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side
a nursing home at eighty-five
and the doctor said it could be her last night
and the nurse said oh should we tell him now
or should he wait until morning to find out
but when they checked her room that night
the was laying by her side

oh he was walking her home
and holding her hand
oh the way she smiled
when he said this not the end
and just for a while they were eighteen
and she was still more beautiful to him than anything
he was walking her home
he was walking her home
looking back he sees it all
it was her first date the night he came to call

One thing I probably can never hope to understand is why people are so reluctant to accept this basic truth: one's actions are predicated upon one's desires.  Vice-versa, we also see that it is easy to determine one's desires from one's actions.  A person will work for something he/she wants, but will not work for something he/she doesn't want.  Actions are also good at determine the amount of desire, or priority, in someone's life.  One would like to do "a," but not by sacrificing "b," which more often than not is their own comfort.

In other words, stop lying to yourself.  If you truly want "a", you would do what was required to achieve "a" goals.  Even the Bible teaches us that, if we love God ("a"), we will keep His commandments ("a" goals/codicil).  We could even say that "a" goals are requirements to achieving "a", or at the very least proving the desire to achieve it.

So, how does this apply to life?  Well, if you care about someone, you make an effort to supply that person's wants and needs.  Basically, you yield your will to theirs.  Also, if you want to do something, say, be a part of a team, you will yield your desires for the good of the team.

Kapeesh?

***All this is is a roundabout way of saying all you people people, socialites at your core, really don't care about the people with whom you associate because, if you did, you would yield to them for a decent relationship.  Instead, tons of people just go around acting as if they have relationships with everyone when, honestly, their relationships consist of very little, save a "Hi" and a hug.  Youth socialites rarely have time-consuming real relationships because they get in the way of several fake relationships which supply nothing to any individual except the excuse of being "busy".  It's an issue of quality over quantity.

So today was an acutally OK today considering it rained. I don't like rain. It makes my hair crazy. I mean really crazy. #:( ( My afroish hair.) Nothing really exciting happened today at lunch or school. I guess everyone felt bad because it was an icky day. I had fun tonight at dance. We learned new parts. It will be really cool looking if I can get it down. I can't wait till' recital. All of  yall have to come and see me. I would be really happy. I got my new dance t-shirt tonight. It's really cute. It's blue with Vibe and the little guy on everything in pink. I'm going to wear it tomorrow. Do we have a color? Oh well.  Well I got to go so see ya tomorrow.

Ok, so today, Carmen taught me the greatest little song EVER!!!!!!!!!! It's called "Bicycle Built For Two" (or at least that's what i've decided to call it). It is uber funny and great.....and apperantly very old. One of my teachers said she learned it in '69. Anyway, here are the lyrics:

Daisy, Daisy, give me you answer true.

I'm half crazy, all for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet upon the seat of my bicycle built for two.

Baby, Baby, here is my answer true.

Your half crazy, to think I would marry you.

There won't be any marriage if you can't afford a carriage.

And it won't be me upon the seat of your bicycle built for two.

Phusebox seems to be slow again.  Don't know if it is the connection from Indonesia or if it Phusebox.  Nevertheless, things are pretty much at a crawl right now.

I guess that is ok - really don't have much to blog about today ... days are starting to blur as I push hard at work ... to come home exhausted and then on to bed after relaxing a bit with Decy and the girls - then back up at 330am.  This week, I haven't even stepped out of the house for any social/personal activities .... last time out was Friday night ... BORING !!!!

No sense in just babbling, so I will close and try to do something productive.

ciao ciao

What do you do when someone tells someone something that's not true about you...and they believe it?  What happens then...what if it's someone who is REALLY important to you...and now they think you are evil...(for lack of a better word)...NEED HELP!!!

So, the beginning of the semster was really rough and I was worried about some of my classes. I was actually worried about failing one of them, and then just having low grades in some other.... I decidied that dropping classes wasn't an option so I started do a pretty insane amount of study for some of my tests.

This is what I was worried my grades would be:
Psych-     C
Old Test- C or D
CIS-        B
Algebra-  F
Eng-        ??? no idea

Now this is what I think I'm going to end with:
Psych-     A
Old Test- B
CIS-        A
Algebra-  B??
Eng-        ??? no idea

I don't know about english because she litterally hasn't taken a single grade yet.... she has a weird grading system, so I can't even guess what I'll have in there, but I'm thinking maybe an A or B (hopefully). With my tests I made a 95 on my last Algebra test and a 100 on my last Psych test. I'm waiting on my old testemant test. It's not at all because these classes are easy, it's cuz I'm stuyding my butt off for these tests. So I was worried, but I'm doing well now. :-)

So, the beginning of the semster was really rough and I was worried about some of my classes. I was actually worried about failing one of them, and then just having low grades in some other.... I decidied that dropping classes wasn't an option so I started do a pretty insane amount of study for some of my tests.

This is what I was worried my grades would be:
Psych-     C
Old Test- C or D
CIS-        B
Algebra-  F
Eng-        ??? no idea

Now this is what I think I'm going to end with:
Psych-     A
Old Test- B
CIS-        A
Algebra-  B??
Eng-        ??? no idea

I don't know about english because she litterally hasn't taken a single grade yet.... she has a weird grading system, so I can't even guess what I'll have in there, but I'm thinking maybe an A or B (hopefully). With my tests I made a 95 on my last Algebra test and a 100 on my last Psych test. I'm waiting on my old testemant test. It's not at all because these classes are easy, it's cuz I'm stuyding my butt off for these tests. So I was worried, but I'm doing well now. :-)

javascript:addBlogit('http://www.phusebox.net/users/photos/mids/d7e92eb3a2f64fe0f5301eb6f6eb8c5a9.JPG')I love my mei mei.

Isn't She the most beautiful little girl on earth. She is so precious. That's my little sister.

so i've had one of these for a long time but i deleted all my entries for a good reason...
life is great for me right now...honestly...it couldnt be any better...
Yay for my 18th birthday being 15 days away!!

tell me a secret. something u believe that no one else knos.

just one.

I helped my sister with her science project. We bought one of those styrofoam planet kit things. We had to paint them because we couldn't find any pre-painted ones. Oh well...painting is fun. Carmen was really funny today. She was drinking a yorgut thing and it said shake before using so she was shaking her whole body. She made up the name Convulsion Carmen. Epileptic Eve. There wasn't anything else really that funny or exciting today.

Have you ever wondered if people talk to you because they feel bad for you or if they really do like you. Mainly popular people. Just wondering. It's just some times I feel like a charity case. Oh well I have my real friends and they don't. That's all that matters.

Had a series of meetings at work yesterday.  One was extremely important and had to do with emergency planning.  I have been quite frustrated at the lack of vision, focus and progress on this very important subject - and had expressed my frustration to various folks, including our country manager.  Yesterday when the group presented what was supposedly the near final product ... I had had enough ... for months we had continued to try to refine and finalize a package that did not meet our corporate guidelines nor met the country requirements ... its like heading down the wrong road and refusing to turn ... but thinking that by driving forward it will somehow take you to the right place.

So, I told the meeting attendees exactly what I was thinking and what I thought the go forward plan should be.  Interestingly enough, it was like a sigh of relief for the folks ... as they had sensed they were "lost in the wilderness" but didn't know how to admit it nor to fix it.  Now and soon, unfortunately, I will have even more work to do ... to help these folks ... but it is something I must do.  I hate building emergency plans ... but I know how to do it ... know what needs to be done ... and embrace its importance.

** Che, about your audition .... we will wait for the results.  Making a mistake on sight reading is not the end, nor is it the only factor being considered.

As for our interviews for a replacement driver, none of the 3 showed up - seems only 1 called and requested a rescheduled, because he couldn't get off work to come interview.  The other 2 were "no shows" and without saying anything to us.  Decy told the 2 not to bother coming for an interview.  The other 1 (that did call) has another chance. Guess we better go hunting for a few more folks to interview - so we have some choices.  Wish this wasn't "dumped" on Decy - but I am not much help in this area.

Gotta run ... ciao ciao

well, quite a few of you know some about me...but if you don't i'll tell you something(s)...

About me:

I absolutely love Jesus

I absolutely love music

I absolutely love the arts (dance, drama, music, writing, art)

I have a passion for literature

I love horses

My fave color is orange

My fave food is pineapples and cheese

I have played piano since i was 7 (i am 13)

I am a mime!

I am told i have a good voice...i think i do

I've never had a boyfriend

I've wanted a boyfriend...

I play guitar, piano, and drums

I play golf, too...and i love tennis

I also won "Most Talented" like Elizabeth Allen :P

Time for some "warnings"

Well, I will ask for forgiveness a lot...because i need forgiveness a lot...because i'm not perfect.  I'll make mistakes a lot...because i make lots of mistakes...because i'm not perfect.  I'll ask for advice a lot...because i need advice a lot...because i'm not perfect.  I'll ask for prayer a lot...because i need it a lot...because i'm not perfect.

Now, you have a small bit of info from my hectic mind.  so, there is much more to tell you, but it's going to have to wait.

i mean at this rate it's following the speed limit on mtsu campus it's so slow. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I usually hate it when people post lyrics, but I just wanted people to see my strain to be optimistic. My old theme song (yes, I actually pick theme songs for life stages) was "Strawberry Fields Forever." Which, by the way, does not refer to drugs; Strawberry Fields was the name of a cemetary (at least that is what I heard). I have changed it to "Santa Fe" from the "Newsies." I won't post the whole thing:


When I dream

On my own

I'm alone but I ain't lonely

For a dreamer night's the only time of day

When the city's finally sleepin'

All my thoughts begin to stray

And I'm on the train that's bound for Santa Fe

And I'm free

Like the wind

Like I'm gonna live forever

It's a feeling time can never take away

All I need's a few more dollars

And I'm outta here to stay

Dreams come true

Yes, they do

In Santa Fe


Santa Fe

Are you there?

Do you swear you won't forget me?

If I found you would you let me come and stay?

I ain't gettin' any younger

And before my dyin' day

I want space

Not just air

Let 'em laugh in my face

I don't care

Save a place

I'll be there

Optimism... Let's try this one out.

i had books full of poetry and writing that i had done.
most of it was from really bad times of my life.
so when i thought i had gotten past my bad times,
i threw it all away. all 8 notebooks full. last summer.
i really wish i hadn't now..cause i want to look back through it.
remembering what had happened and why i felt that way.
because i'm starting to feel the same way again.
and maybe if i could look back through them one more time,
i could see what pulled me through. who helped me. who didn't.
i wish i still had that creative flow to write again.
but lately, everything's caused me to block.
i'll sit there with a paper and pen, wanting to write.
and all i can do is sit there and look at the paper
because i can't get anything out of my brain.
there's so many things i want to say, and get out.
but i can't, they're all mixing together.
just like my life, there's nothing normal about it anymore.
sometimes i just want to get out and run away.
i can't tell you where i'll go, but i'll just start walking.
maybe even running, as far away as i can from this place.
sure, i'll come back to visit...after i find out who i am.
i've changed myself for so many people, i don't even know
who i am anymore. i've faked my smile for years now.
i've trained myself to become numb to everything and everyone
around me and the situations i want to avoid,
because they make me feel uncomfortable.
i'm at this point in my life, so confused.
i feel like i've been forgotten by those people who used to be in my life.
i'll call them to talk and catch up, and they're always too busy for me.
not like before. before, i'd call and they'd drop everything for me.
i used to be able to walk into a place and people would be fighting to sit with me.
and now, i have to search for a seat, which usually ends up being in the back row.
alone. just how i feel in the inside. i guess it just corresponds.
i'm sick of feeling this way. so fake. so, unrecognizable.
but every time i try to change, i just dig my grave deeper.
so, i've decided to stop. i don't know how i'm gonna get better.
i honestly don't know where my life is heading at this point.
so i'll go through the motions of everyday life...
hoping something will change and automatically make life different.
but i doubt anything like that would happen. especially for me.
i don't even have but two true friends right now.
they really mean the world to me, and i know they love me no matter what.
i can't say that i feel that from everyone else.
i feel like an outcast, and that's just the way it's gonna be.
i don't feel like i belong anywhere right now.
"things will get better, just wait" that's what everyone says.
but i can't seem to believe it. because i've been waiting for a long time.
and i'm only in worse shape than before.
so before i go back to my fake self, putting on a show for everyone,
i just wanted to let you know that i do love you guys.
no matter if we're friends or not, you can hate my guts and want me to die.
and i'll still love you. that's just me. i forgive and forget.
some people can't seem to do that anymore.
now you know how i'm feeling at this point.
"i'll be okay"...that's what you said, right?

so apparently i'm bitter.
apparently.

one thing.
bitterness is always discribed as an aftertaste.

while you have me, i'm sweet -perhaps bittersweet.
like like anything great, the sweet is worth the bitter.
it's when you let me go, turn me loose, cast me off-

it's then that you taste the bitter.

and my dear,
you've not tasted that bitter.

To my future offspring:

My name is Christina, and you don’t know who I am.  You don’t know who your father is; neither do I.  You don’t know what it means to be alive; I’m still working on that one too.  However, I’d like to give you an early welcome to existence here on planet earth, and tell you what I know of it.

First of all, I love you.  I’m sure that will excite you at first, but the appeal of that statement will probably lessen as you grow older.  Still, it’s the most important thing you need to know during your early years...and for the rest of your life.  I love you.  Even now, before you’re born.  And when I’ve actually met you – my love for you will be outrageous.  I won’t just tolerate you.  I won’t just raise you dutifully.  I will truly and fully love you.  Remember that.

And with that in mind, take heed that much of the rest of the world won’t love you, nor will they give you an easy time.  It may seem cruel to bombard you so quickly with the harsher realities of life – after all, you aren’t even a baby yet – but love is tough and you need to hear it.  You will face fear that makes your heart tremble.  You will experience pain that nearly cripples your spirit.  You will witness injustice that you cannot make right, accidents you cannot prevent, tragedies you cannot bear.  You will see innocence trampled, friendship betrayed, greatness brought low. 

And though I wish – I wish, beyond anything – that I could bring you into a world where dreams are always realized, and good always conquers evil, I cannot.  But what I can do for you, I will.  And what I can do is instill in you the skill and the character it takes to survive and even flourish in a world that will try its hardest to impress upon you your own unimportance.  I will push you hard.  I will ask you difficult questions.  I will not accept mediocrity.  I will punish you when you’ve done wrong.  And always, I will make you apologize when you’ve hurt someone.

By now, you’re probably questioning whether you even want to give living a try, and if you still find existence tempting, you’re probably wondering where you can get a new mother.  But don’t worry.  My list of promises isn’t finished yet.  Because you will need more than discipline, more than morality to get you through life.

You’ll need love.  Yes, back to love again.  It always comes back to love.  But that’s what you’ll really need in life, and that’s the main thing I have to offer.  I will tuck you into bed.  I will listen to you when you’re hurting.  I will give you my share of the desert.  I will come to your defense at any cost.  And always, I will be there for you.  Be there to protect, but also to enlighten.  To comfort, but also to challenge.  And when you feel like every path in front of you leads to nowhere you want to be, you can always return to find me waiting with open arms, open ears, and advice which is your to take and sift and use as you will.  I promise you: even if everyone else has, I will not turn my back on you.

And what I ask in return is this: that you will let me be a part of the best of your life.  I ask that you let me witness your triumphs and your accomplishments and your fulfillments.   Let me celebrate when you celebrate, and let me feel achievement in your achievements.  And maybe, if you find it in you to do so, give me a little credit.  Give me the satisfaction of knowing that the child I created - and invested in, and loved - overcame the natural and societal obstacles of life and was able to accomplish something meaningful in this world, be it a matter of international significance or personal pride.  Give me the joy of knowing you have found happiness. 

You have no idea what’s ahead of you, and neither do I.  But whatever it may be, I will be here.  I will teach you.  I will worry about you.  I will discipline you.  I will challenge you.  And above all – if everything else I have said you forget, then remember this - I will love you. 


Your mother.

Random Sayings i got in an E-mail

"Christ must be the light that shines through you, and the people looking at you must see only Jesus. You have a challenge from Jesus to meet: He has shed the light, and you will take His light and lighten every heart you meet."
~ Mother Teresa

"You're not ready to live until you are ready to die."
~ Chuck Swindoll

"It's never too late to be who you might have been."
~ George Eliot

Ok, so today at lunch, Carmen wraped a pickle around a Cheeto and at it. The crazy part is, it was SO good!!!!!!!!! So, we had almost all of are friends eating pickles and Cheetos while the "popular" kids stared at us. But hey, we have funner lunches than them!!!!!!!!!

Recipe for Pickles and Cheetos snack:

1. Stuff to use

A bag of CRUNCHY Cheetos (puffs aren't usable)

Dill chips ( the ones you put on hamburgers)

2. How to use it

Wrap pickle around Cheeto

Put pickle/cheeto into mouth

Chew

Enjoy wonderful taste

Swallow

Digest

So there you have it, go make some now!!!!!!!!!

so. life is good, and pretty much the same as always. no boys, lots of work, but plenty of Jesus to make up for the things that stink. i just started the coolest devotional that i found in our computer desk. it is truly amazing.

When you know that God doesn't want you to do something, and yet you want it so bad, it makes for a very interesting situation. This boy...gracious. I love him so much, but I love Him more. I know that he is not God's best for me, and I believe that if i am patient, God will bring me someone. (Or He might not bring me anyone, and that's ok, too.) I just have to keep believing that something else will come along, and I tell myself that I can't give in and do what I want. But God has been so faithful to fill up that void for now. And the cool part is, the closer i get to Him, the less i feel as though i need "him". But it still doesn't make it any easier to be around him.

Nayways, other than that, life is peachy. School is almost over, thank goodness, and i have yet to fail chemistry, so that's a plus. I made an 84 out of 90 on my Free Response (i'm thinkin only APUSH kids know what i'm talking about), and things are, as i said, peachy.

but on a more depressing note, i really miss Bruce lately. I just can't believe how much i've grown up since he died, and i often find myself wondering what he'd be like if he had grown up with us. i miss his friendship, and how he was always there for me. I miss our deep conversations, and i miss him telling me about his walk with Christ. It's been a long time since i've had a conversation with a friend about that. i wish that William and I actually agreed about anything. but we don't, and that's ok for now. the arguing just makes things hard. i swear, if people didn't know us they would think that we were married because of how much we fight. it's a bit ridiculous. anyways. i'll stop boring anyone who actually reads this. much love to you all---Cari

Last night (Monday night) before turning out the lights, I turn on CNBC to see how some of my favorite stocks are doing.  What do I see?  Union Pacific Railroad is up 7-8% TODAY?  Watching closely, I also notice that Burlington Northern Railroad is up similarly.  What's up? After about 30 minutes I learn that Warren Buffet has taken a 10.9% in BNR and positions in 2 other major rails.  Sooooo ... everybody jumps on the band wagon.  Markets calmed a bit by the end of the day after some profit taking ... don't know what the future holds ... but I am happy with my 1 day paper gain of 4%.  Besides, Union Pacific is very close to my target sales price .... it pays to be contrarian ....

About the driver interviews ... they were "no shows" yesterday.  Didn't get a chance to find out why from Decy ... it was a very hectic day.

As for work ... no story there ... just a bunch of meetings that will clearly demonstrate that some folks don't know what they are doing ... as the saying goes ... it is better to not say anything and for people to think you are a fool, than it is to open it and dispell all doubt.

Keep Chely in prayers ... she has an ACT exam on Saturday.  She's nervous ....

Thasya also has her fashion show practice on Saturday (it was supposed to be on Sunday)

...  its going to be a very hectic Saturday doing all this and getting ready for the opera.  Plus, there are a couple of events at the school Friday night - I think we will attend only one of them.

Well - I better get to work on some stuff .... its ALREADY 440am ...

ciao ciao

god, well i called him and he said he was watchen t.v, and than he said that he loved me, and he asked me why he was freeken me out, and scaren me.........so i told him, we talk for and about something and it only lasted for 3mins and 49secs...... i feel bad, b/c he wont talk to me, that long, he told me to call him  after school, and i said i would... but god, i dont know, i know ill call him, for real, and that i love him, but im scared what if he says it is over,, what would you guys do???

okay, my last blog talked about abusive realationships right well, what if your in the realastionshi and you cant leave the boy for anything in the world... she realized she loved him and she also realized that he was the only thing she had... what would you do, b/c i am confused, adn i need help........ he is like that at times, ad very prtective and stuff bu what if he is kinda the oly thing you have and nomatterhow hard tyou try you cant leave him????? can anyone of you guys help me wuth tha?????

i haven't written on this thing in forever, so here is a brief recap of the past few months in my life:

i went on a fun blind date on valentine's day . . .

i went to the zoo and had lots of fun there . . .

i had way too much fun in walmart . . .

i hung from a moving vehicle . . .

i stood on the window sill of a moving vehicle . . .

and i did cosmic battle with amy powers . . .

and i guess that's about it.

hope everyone's been doing okay. :)

OK so apparently Kenny can rewrite history. Well actually he just clarified history and totally screwed up my dates and such. Yesterday was Easter {le duh} and so I went to the home of my cousin James and his wive Tanya's house for the annual celebration. We had ham and stuff, I stalked everyone with my camera, my mom stalked me with my camera, and then we went out and hunted Easter eggs. While I was out stalking the hunters with my camera, I missed a phone call from Kenny {le boo} and he left a cute message. Anyways about ten last night he calls back and we had the first real conversation in months.

This brings me to the rewriting of history and such. We talked for an hour and a half, and he managed to score 5 points to my 1, rewrite history, and inform me that it was inevitable that we will get married because he had recurring dreams about it. All this while we laughed and talked for the first time in ages and I began to feel better than ever. I have missed him so much lately, and I love him with all my heart. We were talking about all the notes that we had passed {Because I am strange and have them in a box}, and I found one where he was asking me all these questions that I wouldn't answer. I had been playing this game with a deck of playing cards where you ask te cards yes or no questions and depending on what suit you get that is the answer and I wouldn't tell him what I was asking. That took us to the subject of memory and Prom and our first kiss. And from there he rewrote history because was one of the questions I asked the cards was this "Was he just a good friend I could get away with kissing?" Apparently the answer was "yes as in my boyfriend." At last history is set straight. Our anniversary in actually April 23, as in 2005 and the night of my senior prom which means I celebrated on the wrong day a month early and shorted us a year. Strange huh?

This rewriting of history means that all my dates are off, sadly enough my father was right, and the summer, fall, winter of 2005 and the part of the spring of 2006 was absolutely terrible and painful for no reason. My dad had been declaring that Kenny was my boyfriend since Prom and I of course didn't know that he was and therefore adamantly denied it. But he was in fact right and Kenny wants me to make sure that I tell him so and that he know it was him who made him right. Obviously all my dates are wrong because we have been together two years not just a little over one. And as for that period of time, if you read back on some old blog entries you can see what I mean. I went through total hell trying to figure out what we were and thinking I would never be with him and wouldn't you know it… I had him. Sometimes I get so confused.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about  getting out there and dancing in the rain!"

       ~~emily's facebook~~

A wise man **Austin** once told me...
.......people can think what they want and they can be wrong until they are man enough to come and ask for the truth......

Yikes ... although I have logged on a number of times over the past week and have emailed my family on various subjects, I just realized that I hadn't blogged in nearly a week - that's getting into the league of my sons.

In reality, not much to blog about right now.  Wiwi, our maid left on 6-9 months maternity leave (no story there).  Regarding drivers, we are still at 1 plus using Decy's brother part time.  Decy has several interviews scheduled today for a new driver - I'll keep you posted on that.

On Saturday, we finally received our remaining 5 chairs back from the furniture maker.  They refinished the chairs and they look better.  Decy is unhappy about the "feet" ... the chairs squeak when you move them.  She had asked them to put rubber feet on the bottom.  On half of chairs they used soft rubber/foam ... on the others they used hard plastic (which still sqeaks).  Decy will just go buy the supplies she needs and fix the chairs herself.  We decided to close out this saga (after 6 months) ... and she paid the furniture manufacturer in full.

I think it was a quiet weekend here in Jakarta - there, however, some concern about the holiday weekend and potential attacks on churches.  I did not receive an emergency warden call, so there must not have been any major problems ... but I'll know more when I get to the office today.

Lately (as in the last 2 months), Decy, the girls and I have been watching the TV series Gilmore Girls.  They like it a lot ... for me ... its ok .... we made it through Season 5 ... which was all we had ... so I ordered Season 6 from Amazon.com.  It arrived last week ... so we spent quite a bit of time relaxing and watching it.  Not exactly what I had planned for the weekend ... but I was relaxing nontheless.

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I have a telephone conference with folks in Houston.  The person who set this up must not be thinking about commuting ... as the call is at 6am our time .... which means you either come to work incredibly early or incredibly late.  If you come early - commuting time will be 20-30 minutes ... but you have to leave at the house at 515am - to be in the office, at the desk, on the phone by 6am.  If you come late ... it will be a 60-90 minute commute.  MORON.  Of course, having to use a driver means my driver (Yono) will have to get up as early as I do ... 330am ... to get here in time.

The opera at Hotel Mulia is this weekend ... we have the dresses and tux ready ... as you can appreciate ... Saturday will be "hair day" at the salon.

Really not much to say ... so I will quit rambling and take care of some other business.

ciao ciao

So obviously, everyone had a great weekend. My little cousing spent the night with us last weekend and went to church with us this morning. We went and ate lunch with my Nannie Donna. When we were driving home my sister asked my cousing what the meaning of church was (he doesn't attend church regularly), and he said the Easter bunny. My sister was like are you joking. My mom told her to calm down and tell him what Easter was all about. After she was finished he was like, that's good, I'll remember that. It was really cute. I think he likes coming to church. He said he wants to come back next week. Monday's color(s): Earth tones. ;)

Happy Easter, everyone!

I must admit, I'm not in much of a mood for deep or reflective thought, but I have to say that I have never, ever been moved by the music in a Sunday morning service as I have today. EVER. In fact, I honestly have a really hard time focusing on the music at all on Sunday mornings. Does anyone else have this problem? Why is it easier to worship on Wednesday nights at AO than Sunday mornings at church? Is it because on Sunday mornings I don't feel as free? Is it because at AO I am among my peers, and thus feel more comfortable? Is it because I just don't like the music as much?

Well anyhow, it was just awesome this morning... it was a great reminder of the reason for this holiday that I take for granted after 20.5 years in church and almost 14 years as a Christian.

So on a completely different note, I have my schedule for fall (as long as I don't change my mind, which is entirely possible). Here are my classes (excluding Single Camera Directing and Producing, which I am still waiting to get approval for):

MW:
-Principles of Marketing
-Social Psychology of Close Relationships
-Abnormal Psychology

TR:
-Media and Messages
(And hopefully Single Cam!)

F:
-Principles of Marketing

On MW I am avaliable at 11 for lunch, TR are still up in the air, and on Fridays I am good either before or after Marketing class.

Hope everyone is having a great Easter Sunday!

Happy Easter Everyone!!!!

Happy Easter!

Remember, Jesus is the reason.

Happy Easter!!!!

i hope its a good one for all of you.

...just dont forget why we celebrate it.

If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.
Peace Pilgrim

This is out of season but

Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?

Did you know that if one looks upon the joyful things in Life. Instead of the moments that are hard to go though. That persons Life is a whole lot easier to go threw.  

                                     Just a thought i came across this week :)

So, right now I'm working on burning down the house, since I'm home by myself it's quite possible that it will work : ) No, actually I'm making a cake so you never know what will happen with that. I'm kinda dangerous with an oven. Though it does warm the house up to have the oven on. In case any of you really wanted to know that.

On another note, I find that when you are running up the stairs you never try to take two at a time when you stuff in your hands. It just doesn't work. No, I'm not stupid enough to fall down the stairs but I did find myself slightly tripping.

Did ya'll know it is Easter tomorrow??? Yup, time to eat your ham and dyed eggs. Oh, and find some eggs in the Easter egg hunt : ). But seriously, it's not about the eggs and ham. It's about Jesus rising from the dead, so that we might live with Him forever in Heaven. That is pretty cool.

I am so sore right now. I can hardly walk. I did so many toe touches and herkies these past two days I think about doing them in my sleep. We did do a really cute dance though. We had to do a mock try-out. I hate spiriting on. REALLY hate it. I feel like such a fool. I'm always afraid I'm going to trip and fall. Well it was fun though. I really like the cheers we learned. But there was hardly anybody there though. They was only me and Allie and Leslie. There was two other people that came yesterday that I didn't know that came today. Well got to go. We are leaving to go eat.

Okay guys, I am not crazy, but if you see a remark from some person that's not me, but is on my email address... that would be the work of my evil little brother.  It won't happen again. 

Oh and good morning. Talk to y'all later.

so right now my parents are somewhere and its just me and my sister here at the house un til late sat. so i think i am about to go out for a little 3 in the morning drive. idk lately my life hasnt been going too good. my parents found out im a vegetarian and my dad was being a prick about it. and i swear my mom is stupid. do you want a chicken sandwich? ah lets see no. omg what do you think vegetarian means. lol oh well. then the next day didnt go too good either dont want to get into that but it doesnt matter now i'm over it. ok on to positive stuff. tomorrow i am picking Holly up and going out for the day. dont really know what we are going to do but yea we'll find something. work has been going pretty good. im back in grocery and it is really fun. time flies when your back there. lol 2 weeks ago i was working up front and there was a lady standing there crying. so when i walked by she was like can you help me? "with what?" can you get some body to clean *looks down and see that she is crapping herself* this up? omg that was so nasty. it was all runny. ergh.  i didnt have to clean it but that grossed me out for a couple of days. there was a trail going all the way back to the bathroom. simply nasty. >_<   what are you all doing for easter? i am going to my grandparents where we are haveing a cook out and idk what i am going to do. no one in my family knows except my brother, sister, and parents so i am really not looking forward to then. well im going to get off b4 i write a book lol.

Okay, I'm thinking about starting a Twilight fan club.  I've already met a few people who have read the book and sequel on this website, so any of you who have read it give me some feed back if I should start a club. 

Twilight fans are you willing to meet other fans too? 

You know I understand that parents want to keep us safe, but this website is perfect because you know just about everyone!  It's a thousand times safer than myspace.  I love this website!

Why can't some of our parents understand that? 

I got this in an email!  woo

Friends Don't Let Friends Jump

OK boys and girls - time to use your imagination .

You are the leader of a village called Ecapsym that is located on a high plain that overlooks the ocean. Your people are generally happy and content with life, except for once in a while this stranger named Lucy Fer shows up and convinces people that their lives are missing something. This stranger is very wise - (wise as a serpent in fact), and invariably she is able to convince people that the emptiness they sometimes feel inside can be solved by doing something on the outside. What is that something? Jumping off the cliff that's just outside the village.

That's right, it seems like insanity, but somehow she's able to persuade people that soaring into thin air is a good thing. And at least a couple times a month, you are wakened by panicked family members alerting you to yet another cliff jumper that bought the lie.

Now, the cliff is not that high, so nobody gets killed. But they almost always break an arm, a leg, or receive some kind of injury that is definitely going to leave a mark.

So now you decide to do something about it, but what? You can't ever seem to predict when and where Lucy Fer is going to show up, so you need to explore other strategies.

You meet with the village elders, and they come up with two possible plans: build a hospital at the bottom of the cliff, or a rescue station at the top. You only have the materials and finances for one of those, so you need to make a choice. At first the hospital at the bottom sounds good, because there would be help right there when people hit bottom. But the more you think about it, the rescue station at the top is really the best plan, because it would help stop folks from jumping in the first place. You could invite people in to let them know that Lucy Fer's plan is disaster, then they could join the rescue team and help you with the work of the rescue station.

Your plan works. Now nearly everyone in your myspace, sorry - I mean Ecapsym is meeting regularly at the Rescue Station and bringing new friends all the time. The only people that are jumping anymore are the ones who didn't know the Station was there, or stopped going because they got too busy or thought the Rescue Station was full of hypocrites.

Next time you think about your church or youth group, ask yourself if you see it as a hospital at the bottom of life's cliffs, or a Rescue Station at the top. See, the hospital people meet together and wait for folks to come in and get help for their hurts. They definitely serve a great purpose, but it's also definitely not the best strategy.nor is it what God designed the church to be either. Check this out -

Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. (Acts 2:46-47)

This is a description of the original church meetings from over 2000 years ago. They got together in plain view of the public and partied like it was A.D. 99. The other people saw the sincerely great stuff going on and joined in. What was the result?

"The Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

Saved...as in rescued. Not from the cliffs of Ecapsym, but from the gates of Hell. Without the Rescue Station, Lucifer (i.e. the devil) is able to talk loads of people into taking the insane leap into sex, drugs, and any other number of rock hard consequences that rolls their lives into depression.

Guess what? You are needed at your local Rescue Station. If you're not regularly involved because you are too busy or you think it's full of hypocrites, you've been duped by Lucy Fer. If you are regularly involved but not inviting new people to church/youth group, don't keep the Rescue Station to yourself, because friends don't let friends jump off cliffs!

Head: What you need to know about this truth

One of the main purposes of church/youth group is to be a rescue station for the unsaved. One of the main purposes of our involvement in church/youth group is to bring our unsaved friends to hear the gospel and be saved.

Heart: What you need to feel about this truth

Do you truly feel that some of your friends might be headed for a cliff? What I mean is, without Christ, many teens find it easy to start down a self-destructive path that never ends well. If you do feel that about your friends, then you won't feel nervous about inviting them out to youth group and/or sharing the gospel.

Hands: What you need to do about this truth

Think for a moment about your youth group. Is it a good rescue station? Is the gospel presented regularly? Do other people help visitors feel welcome? If not, get together with your youth leader and talk about this Soul Fuel. If it is a good rescue station, invite a friend or two out this week!

Good Morning!

Well, I officially think my brother is strange.  My family got new front-loader washing/drying machines, so now my brother is sitting in front of them and watching clothes go around in circles. 

Oh hey!  I'd like to say thanks to everyone who has asked to be my friend!  I'll be back in a few

I'm gonna get my hair cut today. It will once again be short. I like it short.

I think we all need to rebel against this crazy weather. It's too cold I don't like it cold. I like it in the 70's and 80's. I guess you can't have everything you want in life.

Oh, and we have a mime presentation on april 28th. Fun!!! I miss presenting. I haven't presented since Nov. 4th. It shall be fun!! Maybe Grace can come!! That would be even more fun....

well i finished treasure island yesterday and now it's time to move on to Blue Like Jazz. it should be good.

piece

Good morning world!!! So today we are having a boring yard sale. When we got to my aunt's house this morning at six I was like super hyper. I'm not even that hyper when I go to school at like seven thirty in the morning. So today I have a cheerleading clinic at Vibe. I'm really excited. Not making cheerleading either years has really bummed me out. It's really hard cheering for six years and then just having to sit there and watch my sister cheer. It's just not fair. :( Oh, well. So today's clinic is from five to seven and tomorrow's is from nine to eleven. I'm really bored right now. Nobody's up right now at this time in the morning so I have nobody to talk to. Except my sister is talking to her best friend Abby. They are arguing over why someone didn't get added to their buddy list on Webkinz. Well got to go do something usefull with my life. See you guys later.

I was in deffinite need of an awesome day and let me tell you...
God blessed me with a totally awesome, de-stressing- make me happy, wonderfully amazing day. But, ya know, that's not suprising because He's just that kind of guy!


i'd hug everyone if i could.... a picture of me hugging austin (___who is fun to molest in coffee shops ;-P ___) will have to suffice

don't you hate when you find something out

and even tho it's really no big deal or life threatenting.. it still really ruins your day[s]

yeah. me too.

guh.

What kind of music do y'all listen to? 

I love country music, christian rock, and some alternative.  Oh if y'all ever feel like listening to a few soprano soloists, I suggest Celtic Woman.  They're fantastic and just wow.  It's an Irish group by the way. 

I have a question... why do people think that rap has to have cussing or something about gangster shootings in it?  I think that's just stupid! I think a good rap song has a good beat and words that make sense and aren't about anything bad.  That's my opinion what do you think?

Hey guys!!

This is to Carmen and Keri mostly because they are the only people I know who use this site. No offense to anyone.  I just got to get to know y'all first. 

So, well, my name is Gennifer Goad.  I guess I can make a good friend (you'd have to someone like Keri and Carmen).  I like talking with people and making new friends... if there's anything you want to know about me feel free to ask. 

Well, I have to see what other neat things I can do on this site. 

See y'all!!

RANDOM  pictures

Lilly and I love this red dress..... :)

For some random reason i wear these jeans like 24/7 (not REALLY, but i wear them all the time)

Angel on her 20th birthday, Lane and i took her out :) It was so much fun!! :P lol times we will never forget *for more reasons then just taking her out!! :P lol ha ha ha
BASKETBALL BASKETBALL!!!.... (lol)

DID YOU KNOW...this picture has 'cased so much truble.... "247"

FUN TIMES!! :)
lilly and i where REALLY bored so we put on weird close and took random pictures!! :P

My sister is going to China tomorrow!! She will be gone for.. 12 days i think!! I am going to miss her but i am sure she will  have fun!! :P
But yeah, if you could keep her in your prayers that would be FANTASTIC!!

Moving On,
So nothing much has happened with me since my last post. Other then getting my braces tightened, working with my mom.. oh yeah and getting to go to youth-group, nothing has changed!! :)
I am taking no change as a good thing b/c the last time i had change, it wasn't to swell!!
But i am making it through.

Does time seem to fly, i mean its like just yesterday i was starting to ride a horse, i can still remember my first day at BHSE like it was 10 seconds ago. Its so weird..... IDK.... i just wish time would SLOW down, way down!! if only there was a shooting star, i could make a wish!! Oh, maybe i should stay outside tell i see a shooting star and make a wish!! I know just what i would wish for!!! :) Maybe i will go do that!!

Bye Bye

i'm trying to debate if i should join my own fan club...i think not.  I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!!

Today's lunch was fun today. Carmen got dinosaur chicken nuggets and was playing with them. It was hilarious. Sarah asked her if her mom had ever told her to not play with her food, and Carmen was like when chicken is shaped like dinosaurs it is a little hard to resist. That's my crazy friends for you. Have I mentioned my friend Keri. You so need to request her as a friend. She is one of the most awesome people you will ever meet!!! Search Keri Poole. If you are still reading this you need to leave now and get Keri as a friend. Go now. What are you waiting for. Well if you are still reading you must not be a fun person so I will just continue to talk to you. I'm so excited we get an extra day for the weekend because of Good Friday. I need a recouping from 9 days of school back from our 2 week break. Well I got to go so I'll post later. Bye guys. And Keri if you are reading this...,"Goodbye Earl..." ;)

Who knew that show was so freakin annoying? I really can't stand it, even thought the women seem to actually know what they were doing, it's just agrivating.

Ah whatever. Three day weekend, and I'm sleeping in tommorow. The though seems nice, especially since I couldn't wake up this morning. I fell asleep going down the stairs and woke up in the kitchen. How I didn't fall I'll never know.

Hey girls!! There's a massive sleepover at my house tommorow night, lot's of really girly movies and that sort of thing. Call me (556-5744) or my mom (485-6867) for details, it may be better for you to call Mom. I'm at school and won't be able to answer my phone till after 3:45.

... that you recieved a random phone calll asking if you could possibly help MTSU by registering early to test the new system.... such a hardship to take upon myself but i guess i can sacrifice and get in all the classes i want...
so i'll register today at 1:30 to help out my school..... he he he he

This is a blog all about my family, friends, and life. As you can see from the title my life is chaos. But I like it that way because it just seems normal and I wouldn't trade in anything to have a slow paced life. At dance tonight we learned like five new eight counts in like the last five minuted of class. It was CRAZY!!! It was so fast, I could hardly keep up. I'm just going to have to pracitice like crazy until recital in like two months. I'm so excited about reciatal. Our costumes are so cute. Although I really don't like our dance shoes. They are way to slick. My mom's making me try out for cheerleading. I love cheerleading, but I know I want make it. There is only four slots for freshamans. It's also all year instead of basketball season cheerleaders and football season cheerleaders. So if I ever possibly made it, it would take over my whole life. I like cheerleading, but I don't want to give certain things up. Also camp in KNOXVILLE is one day away before I leave for Australia. I would get back really late that nightn and get like two hours of sleep before I had to get to the airport. Oh yeah did I mention that I'm going to Australia to be an ambassador. I've always got those People to People letters,and this year I finally applied to go, and got selected to go. I'm so excited. So check back each day to get the low down on my life. Peace. :>

Don't you hate it when your trying to cold sholder a friend, but they wont stop being hilarious?? Today at lunch, i was attempting to ignore one of my friends (because friends don't keep secrets and secrets don't keep friends....exept my friends) Anyway, she wouldn't stop slaming her water into my other friend's water and sending it flying across the table. In the end, it was so funny, I just gave up on being angry and cracked up. ( I am WAY to easily amused ) So i never really got what i wanted....but it was the funest lunch period EVER.

1. I love to smile because if it is just the right person I feel like I am floating home on a cloud.

2. My favorite place in the entire world is in my backyard, wrapped up in a blanket, and staring at the stars.

3. My dad will always always always make sure he tells me "I love you" before I leave his sight or before we get off the phone.

4. Truthfully...I always wanted it to be you but was too scared to say it.

5. My life right now: confusing, stressful at times, emotional, times where I laugh so hard I cry, times where I act like a complete dork and not have a care in the world, and completely beautiful.

"There's something in your eyes
Makes me wanna lose my self,
Makes me wanna lose myself in your heart,
There's something in your voice
That makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
For the rest of my life"

Ok, this weather is just plain dumb. It does a 30 degree drop in one day. How stupid is that? I mean, make up your mind.

In other news, I've come to the conclusion that I'm just going to move to Hawaii with tyler. I mean, that would solve everything. I'm actually kinda happy he's leaving (sshh don't tell him) because that means he won't be able to annoy the heck out of me. Gosh. Talking about annoying. j/k

god.... i feel so bad, have you guys ever been in an abusive relationship??? can you tell me what can be done even if you werent in one, i really need the advice pleaz.....

So it wasn't on nearly as much of a large scale: we only had six guys and played for like thirty minutes in the rain in the field next to Hughes.
But regardless, it was still amazing!
The one thing about it is that because there were only six of us, after like fifteen minutes, all of us were about to die.
I don't know what it was, the field wasn't big at all, but it was so FREAKING TIRING.
Ahh, but good fun.  One time I tackled another guy at the legs as he ran at me, another time Jesse (my huge RA), fell on me, and made me feel like I took a trip to the chiropractor.  In a weird way, the way my neck popped felt good.
Then for the last goal of the night (we tied 8-8) I actually pushed Jesse over from behind (yes, it made me feel manly) and then took the ball, pushed down field, and dove to push the ball through the goal (diving seemed much because it put me muchs closer to the ground, rendering any from behind tackles from Jesse as flops on me, rather than knocking me back five feet from a standing position :), and then we callled it a night.
So yeah, the conclusion of this evening (we just finished like twenty minutes ago) was fun.  Tackling, running in the pouring down rain, lightning too (kinda scary)
Ahh, college life is good :)

Will someone please explain to me why people hate America?

Well, wait, or you might get the wrong idea, not the people from other countries, but homegrown U.S. citizens.  Yeah, them...Why do they hate America?

I know the more leftish of you will say I'm speaking out of turn, but have you really heard what people like Rosie O' Donnell, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and a host of other celebrities have said?  "We're to blame!"

You know, I made the mistake of watching Real Time with Bill Maher. (Bill Maher, of course, has his head stuck up his rectum and claims he's a libertarian [yeah, right].)  On there, was D.L. Hughley stating, "You know, the impression I get from Republicans is that they hate the government...and if you hate what you do, nothing good can come of it."

Really, D.L. Hughley?  The man who struck out on the first of 1 vs. 100 b/c he didn't know the definition of an aristocrat has now stepped up to tell us what he thinks.  But, aside from that is a more pressing observation.  If you hate America, so much, how can you benefit from it and keep a straight face?

I mean, take Johnny Depp for example.  Johnny Depp stated in a interview, "America is dumb, is something like a dumb puppy that has big teeth—that can bite and hurt you, aggressive," along with other various comments about how he hates the U.S., but all his wealth comes from the U.S.!  Listen, Jack Sparrow, how can you bite the hand that feeds you?  Of course, his mainstream fanbase, not concerned with little things like temperment, sanity, and ethical consistency, has not faulted him.

If I worked for the Mafia as a butler or chaffeur, but said that I hated what they did and continually pontificated about how their actions were atrocious and terrible, no one would take me seriously.  I would be serving the mafia, just like these actors and actresses serve the American economy with their...ahem...art.

But, I guess, that when you live in a fantasy world, where you really don't work too much, and every little thing you do is special, that you eventually become full of your own crap and start to believe every bit of bs that comes out of your own mouth.  After all, the paparazzi still loves you...

the warm air blowing in through the windows and ratteling the blinds in the mixed with the warm air with the sound of thunder and rain pounding the sidewalk outside in the courtyard. it brings good memorys of times past and hours sitting and having fun while waiting out the rain. not to mention all the time spent playing in the rain.

Oh God and His renewing the earth. it's great.

today was good. got a good workout in. i dont post on here much anymore. but not many people use it much. kinda sad. oh well. it happens. i still check it alot.we have another race this weekend. maybe i can follow up my previous post with another post about a gold medal. but the boys from the south, georgia tech, have some tricks up their sleeves. and the good ol' boys from texas are pretty trickey them selves. the saying is everything is bigger in texas. well. i wouldnt say they are any bigger than us, but their collection of championships are. but thats ok. we beat them at the Head of the Hooch last semester. so we'll see whats up.

by the way. the Lady Vols just won the national champion ship. some pretty cool stuff.

piece

So..........Im new hear, obviously, so hi. Something you should probably know about me: I'm totally obsessed with the book Twilight. Go read it now. Anyway I'll finish this later, another thing you should know: having the busyest life ever and being a procrastinator at the same time is BAD. I might talk to you later, like next year.

ps. expect at least 10 spelling errors in every entery

BAD SPELLERS OF THE WORLD...UNTIE!!!!!!

PROCRASTINATORS OF THE WORLD UNITE......TOMARROW!!!!!!!!!!

Friday's a holiday and today is Wednesday ... so, I'm already well into hump day.  Of course, after today (due to work issues) I will desperately need the weekend.

It amazes me that so many people waste so much time trying to argue why they are special and shouldn't have to follow the rules.  What is particularly annoying is when you have an "ugly American" who thinks they don't have to follow the "stupid" Indonesian rules and then berates and yells at people for months like a spoiled brat.  We have one such individual at my office.

We have an issue where somebody when against specific and direct guidance from our country manager - and broke a rule.  Upon getting his hands slapped he immediately hurled the problem (Liz - notice I used the word hurl ?) over the fence to several other departments.  Yesterday, things came to a head and he started telling me I was causing problems and I just needed to fix things and move on ... of course, that is not in my power to do.  We had a VERY STRONG conversation and I made it very clear that I was not responsible for cleaning up his mess.

This man sent a one line email that (although not vulgar) gave the impression that everybody is stupid and he is the in the right.  He made the mistake of copying one of the highest people in our company in Indonesia.  That recipient, who I report to, knows exactly what is going on ... so he sends some instructions regarding how we are supposed to deal with this ahem "gentleman" and copies our country manager.  This issue (which didn't have to happen) is becoming explosive and divisive ... thing is, this man is so arrogant he still thinks he is in the right .... and that it is everybody else's responsibility to clean up his mistake.  I suspect he is going to soon be doing a "mea culpa" in front of the country manager.

Stay tuned ... gotta get to work.

ciao ciao

So, at my son's daycare on campus, there are 5 parent parking spots.  There are 65 children enrolled in the daycare, so there are some obvious problems from the start.  When you add in students, faculty, staff, and heaven only knows who else who think they should park anywhere they choose, there is a serious parking problem for parents.  The parents of the CDL were told that if our spots were full, we could park out front, so long as we displayed our parent tag and did not block the fire lane, and we would not be ticketed.

So I got a ticket last Wednesday.

I filed an appeal, and it was granted.  This does not, however, alleviate my ire.  I was told that I should park in commuter parking if I couldn't find a spot in the parent parking.  No parent should have to carry/walk their child that far away, especially if there is any sort of inclement weather.  And what exactly are the parents without a student or faculty permit supposed to do?  Drive around in circles waiting for a student to get out of class and move their car?  Ask the daycare workers to hurl their child through the classroom window into their car as they slow down?  What makes me angriest is that while all the powers that be are more than willing to admit that there's a problem, not one of them seems interested in DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT.  BAH!

Now, as you all know, I am not exactly meek and mild.  I happen to be a bit snippy, perhaps mouthy.  So, like any irate mother faced with the prospect of carrying her squirming, fussing, cranky, apparently suicidal child across a busy campus street filled with college students driving in a fashion which indicates that they too experience suicidal or at least homicidal thoughts, I wrote an angry, albeit reasonably polite and tactful letter.  To whom, you might ask?

Oh, just the President of the University.

And the Vice President of University Advancement who oversees the university's relationship with the community.

And the Chief of University Police.

And the Dean of the College of Education, who oversees the Child Development Lab.

And the Director of the CDL.

As I discussed with some friends today, an angry email (which several parents have sent) says, "I'm angry right now, but not angry enough to put forth much effort! Oh, please don't delete me!"  An angry letter, though, says, "I'm angry!  I'm angry enough to type a letter, print it out, sign it, put it in an envelope, walk out to the mailbox, and pay 39 cents (x 5) to tell you how angry I am!  I'm angry enough to complain and make a right pain of myself!  BAH!"

So today, four of the five spots were filled with cars that had no parent tags.  I called the Tech police, and they obligingly sent one of their fine officers right over.  She arrived as I was pulling out with Daniel.  She looked at the first car and kept walking.  She looked at the second car and kept walking.  She looked at the third car and kept walking.  She looked at the fourth car and kept walking.  Because none of them had student hangtags, she didn't ticket them.  Nevermind that they were in PARENT SPOTS and were not in fact parents.  Apparently, in her world, only students get tickets.  By fine officer, I mean completely ineffectual, irritatingly useless, and ridiculously dumb.  I wanted to run her over with my oh-so-beautiful new Camry, but I did not wish to mar it with dents nor sully it with blood.

I suppose I could have called and complained, but I've already called them three times today, and I really don't think I could interact with them without the occurance of a moderate to serious apoplexy.

Alright, I'm not usually one that likes to write about serious things but in this case I think I will.

God is requiring me to make a huge change and sacrifice in my life and it so very hard. It makes even harder b/c it's affecting the people closest to me and I hate to see them hurting. I'm not really sure if I want to make the big announcement yet as to what it is (although Grace, if Lane hasn't told you yet I will). I just need prayer. This is so hard. I know I have to trust God and that's what I'm trying to do but trusting something you can't see the outcome of is VERY scary!! I guess that's where faith has to come in though.

*Sigh* Growing is so much harder than I realized. I wish I was a child again...!!

So, I found out Sunday that t-man is moving to Hawaii. Now, I could put so sad sappy post about how much I'm going to miss him and all that jazz, but I won't. I'll just say we are all going to need prayer. Tyler and his family the most. Especially if he is going to be paying our way to visit it every few months : ) .

Yeah, Amanda and I got bored last night at Trilogy practice. So we did the only thing that made any sense at all, we went out to the side of the church and went at it. That girl can throw it DOWN!! No major injuries, no real minor injuries either. It was all in fun and we set down some pretty strict ground rules.

You're all probably thinking that we've lost it, and you might be right. But you love us anyway!

Now i'm just biding my time until the class ends, so I just might go read a book. I'm starting Memoirs of a Geisha again, that is such a good book! It's not exactly a guys book but most girls that have read it that I know love it. I know I do.

So I got a guitar on indefinite loan from my totally wonderfully awesome pseudo-fiance of love, and now I understand why people play them.  They're just fun!  Who knew I'd be playing Elvis songs?

Anyway, I just got it Sunday night, but I've practiced a little bit, and it's really not too hard to do...I still need the diagrams of which fingers go where for which chords, but I'm learning a few of them now so that I don't need all of them.  As for transitioning between them, that's getting easier, too.

Now if I could only stretch my fingers out to play bar chords and an F.

Hello every one, I really need your prayers right now. My dad feels called to minister in Hawaii. He has already been offered a job and so has my mom. We are not positive we are going yet but we are pretty sure. :(

I really dont want to go. Its like they dont really listen to what i have to say. I feel like i am just an echo and they pay no attention to me. I dont want to leave all my friends and Family I have gained over the 12 years i have lived here.

well i love you people

I got adventurous and cut all of my hair off.  It's the shortest it's been since I was a little kid.  It was time for a change.  I like it a lot, plus, it's great for the summer.

Just like the title, comment whether you think Janis Joplin, specifically her voice (not the quality of any band she had),  was any good.

Here's a list of video projects I would like to work on this summer. Quality is more important to me than quantity, so I don't plan on getting them all done, but if you're interested in helping out, especially with acting but also with behind-the-scenes crew work just let me know and I will love you forever. I really want to make more movies and get more experience before my class next semester, which is supposed to be more challenging than what I am used to...

-A murder mystery (a script I have been working on)
-A spoof of EVERYTHING (Lord of the Rings, Phantom of the Opera, Star Wars, and pretty much everything else)
-A movie based on the book Rebecca (I did this in tenth grade and really want to do it again with my improved movie making skills and editing techniques)
-Star Trek spoof (showing the nerdy side)
-Any other original script I can think of to write...
-And music videos, including but not limited to the songs "Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne and "You're Beautiful" by Paul Wright

Today was CRAZY!  One guy proposed to me (not Trent) and another guy told me that I should dump Trent because he had more money and could 'carry me across the threshold.'  WOW!!!  I know it was all in good fun and everyone was joking...but I thought it was really funny.  I was extremely flattered.  So I just want to thank those boys who made my day!

Extended weekends make for sucky vacations.  While I enjoyed the extra time with the family and the added evenings of dining and going out (including Thasya) ... it makes Monday mornings such a bear.  I always walk into work and get hit with a fire storm of issues - what I hate most is receiving emails from folks requesting that I give them permission to "not follow the rules".  In my position as Process and Controls Advisor, I teach people about ethics and internal controls.  While at times there are "work arounds" in issues ... I simply cannot say "oh yeah, you are special ... and the ethics rules don't apply to you".  It doesn't make me very popular to say "no" but then I'm not here to win a popularity contest.

Speaking of contest, Thasya has completed her modelling classes.  Long ago (last Oct) we paid for the classes.  Classes ended a few weeks ago, with the only remaining step being to participate in a fashion show.  Seems that for Thasya to participate we have to pay $60 ... which will include her receiving her "class certificate" and seats for 2 to watch the show.  Extra seats (for, say, Chely) is another $20.  Here's the catch ... if she doesn't participate in the fashion show ... to get her certificate she still has to pay money.  Either way she has to pay this "exit fee" to get a certificate for something we have already paid for.  Of course, they didn't tell us all this detail up front.  Its not the money that upsets me, its the principle .... see below.

We've a similar issue with Kaplan's (tutoring company) with Chely.  Prior to starting SAT training with Kaplan's, Chely took a test ... the course was to start the next day and they promised the results would be ready the day of the test.  Well, that was on a Friday ... no results ... we called Monday ... no results, supposedly the "next Friday".  We went around and around for 3 weeks trying to get the results - finally, after threatening that I could come in there and make an "ugly American" scene they gave us the test results.  Now, I recognize that a 1 day turnaround is "quick" but why did they promise it if they were going to fight us on this for 3 weeks.  And you know what?  Does anybody want to wager whether or not Kaplan's will charge for the "exit" exam too?

Speaking of charging, we had to get the girls passports renewed (the then current ones were good for only 5 years).  The basic costs was ~$30 each.  However, there were some issues with Thasya's because of her age and we didn't have a permission letter from her natural father.  Of course, because of that, there was an "added charge" of about $25 .... does it surprise you that they would not give a receipt for the $25? Care to guess where that money went?

And finally, there is the still open issue on the dinnette chairs.  Decy is having them refinish the remaining 6. Its now been about 2 weeks, not sure how much longer that will take - but we do have some power in this .... Decy is withholding final payment on the couch and two chairs they finally delivered (~$900).  The furniture manufacturer understands he won't get his money for the couch and chairs until he returns the dinnette chairs.

*** ah, ain't it a wonderful life here?

About our x-driver, Mustofa, seems lately we've been hearing a lot about his past experiences (other jobs) and some of the things he was doing on his off-hours while working for us.  I won't go into the details - but clearly, sooner or later, things would have come to a head.  So, it is just as well the relationship ended when it did.  We are working thru a canvassing / interviewing process for a replacement driver. In the meantime, Decy's brother Dona is helping us out.

Recall one of our maids, Wiwi, is pregnant.  She will be leaving for her home town in about a week.  We have a temporary (6-9 month) replacement maid.  Her name is Wartini (we call her Tini).  She's small, quiet, and polite like Wiwi and Sumi.  This is good - we don't need strong personalities.  We (shall I say, Decy) will need to train Tini (Wiwi is helping too) and it will take some months to really get her up to speed ... but we will manage. Also, to help out, Sumi is taking on a greater role ... and with that comes an increase in salary for her.

Well, need to take care of some things before I leave for work .... so ....

ciao ciao

“Patience is waiting.

Not passively waiting.

That is laziness.

But to keep going when the going is

hard and slow

- that is patience.”

Anon

i have to go, i have a few things to do ill be bacq later brandon. b. i love you so myuch baby muah* bye guys and my baby...

i have to go, i have a few things to do ill be bacq later brandon. b. i love you so myuch baby muah* bye guys and my baby...

i have to go, i have a few things to do ill be bacq later brandon. b. i love you so myuch baby muah* bye guys and my baby...