God never moves without purpose or plan.
When trying His servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the Lord though your testing seems long;
In darkness He giveth a song.

O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

I could not see through the shadows ahead;
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead,
I bowed to the will of the Master that day;
Then peace came and tears fled away.

O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

Now I can see testing comes from above,
God strengthens His children and purges in love.
My Father knows best, and I trust in His care;
Through purging more fruit I will bear.

O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

God sweeps me off my feet, takes my breath away, he makes my heart skip a beat. God is so amazing! he is my favorite author, he writes the perfect stories in each of our lives. i love to see one start to unfold in my life and others around me. i just sit here speachless because of my Perfect, Holy, and Sovereign Lord. i love even though i feel lost, confused, hurt, insecure, bitter, and other emotions, that i have HOPE- that my God is holding me close to his heart. and this story he is writing, is more perfect and wonderful than i can ever imagine!

and to amy bonin and amber, one day we will look back and remember our conversation right there in the church parking lot! i love you guys and can't wait to hear the stories! what a testimony we all will have!!!

i hope everyone has a great night!

This Summer has been very interesting...its been filled with work, boredom, pain, tears, many inside jokes, concerts, seeing drunk hookers walk around Nashville...yeah that was interesting...boys boys and lots of hot boys...THANKYOU GOD for hot boys!! Gah you got to love them!! Mmmm...oh sorry...yesterday I went with my youth group to Six Flags...and boy oh boy was that fun!! I FINALLY got over my fear of rollercoasters!! I loved it so much!! I went on Batman 3 times in a row, Mine Binder 2 times in a row, Ninja!!, Great American Scream Machine(ewww), some rocket thing...3 times in a row...I thought I was going to throwup on the girl in front of me!! How fun!! I think I did others but I can't remember which ones...I soooooo wanted to do Superman but the wait was like 2 hours long....riight...I also wanted to do The Scorcher...but I ran out of time...DANG IT!! Peace

I suppose that summer is awesome... I love not having grades and stuff...but I hate not having anything to do for more than about an hour... I mean my highlight of the day is when Gilmore Girls comes on and that isn't even till 4! Well enough complaining! I am going to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again with my parents tommorrow! I am also going to do some babysitting tommorrow...so a money opp! I found out my sis has more money than I do so I have to get on that....thank goodness I get money for mowing the lawn and I am also tutoring my cuz and my Aunt wants to pay me for that too...so I will be caught up with her soon. OH! and I have a pretty deep entry on my xanga....one that I actually ask for peoples input and no one has said anything....so why don't you stop by and leave me something. Just click the Webpage link on the bottom left.


amor!



cz

I wish i could go to sleep and not wake up for about a week at least. 1 more day of torture... I can hardly wait. :-)

Well its a new day, so that means that I have learned something new today. And it just happens to be something that I want to share with anyone who might be reading this. I am a worrier. Its what I do. I worry about my family. I worry about my friends. I worry about school. And there always seems to be some "situation" that has me worring about how someone took something I said....or how this or that person is viewing me and my meaning behind the things I do. See.....always worrying. Well, last night I was going through this old journal I had that I would write in during my quiet times. I read an entry from June of last year and it basically said everything that I said at the beginning of this blog. Then I had referenced Matthew 6:25-27. It says, "Therefore I tell you,do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ".......Wow.....That pretty much spells it out. It is pointless to worry. What does it accomplish? The battle has already been won. We have nothing to worry about it. Our Father who loves us beyond comprehension wants to take care of all our needs. We just have to trust, to submit completely, and we will be blessed. God has such huge plans for all of us, and His plans far exceed our wildest dreams. I pray that I will learn to give it all to Him, to stop wasting my energy worrying about everything, and focus all that on trusting and seeking after God with each new day He gives me.



By the way...this was obviously brought on by something I was foolishly worrying about, and can I just say... "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

so. it's just kinda been one of those days. i think restaraunt raid will be fun tonight. that is if people actually show up. but yeah. pretty sure i'm at "gifted" camp this week. (camp for smart/ sorta smart kids.) and i don't mean that in a cocky way. so anyways, it all boils down to a bunch of kids who are "anarchists" sitting in a classroom at MTSU and discussing life and Bob Dylan. which isn't so bad. i've made a few new friends. but some of the kids are just so...bleh. i had to listen to a woman talk about "invasive wildlife and vegetation in TN" today for about and hour + 1/2. but then we listened to Peter, Paul, and Mary songs and talked about how much we (they) all hate America and our bourgeois president. apparently George Bush eats babies for breakfast and then goes out to destroy the rainforests after sending thousands of soldiers to their deaths. it's funny how twisted their minds are. nayways, i find it rather entertaining how liberal all of our professors are. one of mine was a draft dodger for Vietnam. ha! what a patriot. i think they should all just move to Canada and shut up. but then again, without controversy, life would be rather boring. so. we're having a coffee house at the end of the week. i'm not wearing shoes, so i guess that makes me bohemian enough. maybe i should quote lines from Moulin Rouge to make me a complete poser. freedom, beauty, truth and love, baby. also, when i told my professors that my Aunt Kara is touring with Bob Dylan, they almost keeled over. quite funny. so anyways, thanks to all you guys who left me the encouraging comments. i love you guys. gotta go now. seizure on the flip side. but one final word...i'm a bad boy, with a lotta hoes. Drive my own cars and wear my own clothes...i got the roly on my arm and i'm pourin Sean Don and i roll the best weed cause i got it going on. ha. i'm so gay.

If you're a movie fan, you need to check this site out. Have you ever left a movie thinking that you liked the movie, but the ending really sucked? So have these guys. They have some hilarious animations showing how some of our favorite movies should've ended (Star Wars Ep. IV, Matrix Revolutions, Saving Private Ryan, with more on the way).

By the way, I posted this on Digg.com, and got my first front page link.

-out

oh my holy frikin crap. i had forgotten how much i hate working. i just started at toots and its not bad. but its still work. wow, 8 1/2 hours will take it out of ya. ok, im done complaining.

Well today I was playin soccer with trey and jeremy in my fort yard well i have these flower pots along my side walk and trey got mad cause he couldnt get the ball form me so he pushed into the flower pot and now I have this HUGE! not on my shin and it hurts like a MOTHER then trey threw on my bed and I hit my head on my bed and now my head hurts no thaks to trey. It was not fun and u knw what trey pay back is a BITCH just rember that
kel

from the very beginning of this whole xanga/phusebox craze i have been the person that thought it was utterly rediculous to write these overly melodramatic entries. i always viewed it as a sad attempt to get attention from people who aren't close enough to you for you to pick up the phone and actually tell that person what is wrong, and against my better judgement i will do exactly what i have disliked and even slandered in the past mainly because there isn't any one particular person that i could tell this to and because anyone who knows me needs to know what i am about to say, and that could take a whole lot of phone calls...

in short: i am a complete fake

i feel that i have decieved every single person i know into believing that i am something that i am not. and the even sadder thing about this situation is that because i have been doing that for so long that i no longer know who I am. i would lie to people just to see if they would believe me, not just with my words, but with my actions. and for the most part i have been very successful at this. i am good at what i have been doing because i do not know nor have i ever known how to be real. i have acted as so many different people that i do not know who i act like to different people. some people have probably noticed this about me, maybe i am wrong, maybe everybody has noticed this about me and that is why i feel so empty and alone and completely void of emotion or feeling. and because of my manipulation and stubborn ways, the one bright shining star in my life begins to doubt and question me, and rightly so. i can be the stand out leader in my youth group, i can be the funny guy who makes people laugh, i can be the jerk who makes people laugh at another's expense, i can be emotional, i can be cocky, i can be humble, i can be sympathetic and helpful; it all depends on the situation at hand and how i think it would best suit me to act. i cannot imagine the number of people i have decieved just because i thought they would like me more if i acted a certain way, and then as soon as another person or group comes around, i am a completely different person.
never have i understood the songs or phrases that speak of people hungering or thirsting for God, and it at this point that i realize the hunger and thirst for something different. i want aceptance and love and support and friendship and warmth and satisfaction and peace. and it is at this point that i realize how much of an utter waste i have been for the past eighteen plus years of my life.
i have done nothing but bring people down and hurt others.

i don't know what it is that i want, i just don't want to feel this guilty for anything ever again.
sorry to all...

Farewell to James Doohan.

Seriously, if you know what "1337" means, then you have to check this out! You will laugh. I guess this is Microsoft's version of "How to talk to your hacker son/daughter..."

anyways... now for the link. w00t!

A parent's primer to computer slang

kids
lol

So I've been trying to eat right and lose a little weight this summer........but it's kinda backfired on me. I'm losing weight, but in all the wrong places!!! I'm burning fat, but instead of smaller thighs and no tummy, I'm getting smaller titties and no booty!!! My only two attractive features are shrinking into nothingness. This is very disconcerting. I've decided that I have to do some heavy lifting with my butt in order to build up some muscles back there lol. Then I'll have my badunkadunk back.

later

gosh.. last night was something else.. there was so much drama.. matt almost got runned over by his best friend.. my two best friends got mad at me.. no one would take us home and matts truck was dead so we walked back to my house and spent the night! but ya.. good way to start off this blog.. lol.. xoxo.. cassie

Well this is the first time I am using this and I have no idea how to us it. Oh well I will figure it out. I am getting ready to go to church soon. That means I better go now. Love ya.
*Katie*

      jimi hendrix is lovebrought to you by the isLove Generator

Ah.....CJ came and saw me....and it seemed like everyone but me and Jane knew about it! We showed up and Michael's, and he said he had something to show us. We got down the hall, and there my boyfriend was!
Michael and Sarah helped him arrange the whole thing. I was SO FRIGGIN HAPPY to see him!
But just for the record, I'm still mad at him for doing it!

Ok...so I'm so so so excited!! I have a huge smile accross my face!!!! Ahhhhh, I can't wait to see where God takes me!!!! So I get a call today saying DTS will be a bit different this year, and they give me six different places I could possibly go!! And I give the man my top to choices...where I have a heart to go! And the first two oppions, made my heart leap for joy!!! A China focus and the other, which would be a real life changing and oh my gosh amazing....and totally me.....a Compassion outreach!!!! AHHHHH!! lol!! This outreach is in South East Asia and around that area and it deals with the poor, needy, and.....children at risk!!! ASIANS!!!! AND CHILDREN!!!!! It's like a dream come true!!! lol!!!! I know I'm so crazy!! But man....I can't wait to go and wrap my arms around these kids!!! :D I can't wait to let my heart pour out on them and do anything and everything for them!!!! I'm so excited!!! Well anyways...thought I'd share!!! :D Take care...I love ya'll!!!

My own,

Sometimes you wonder what kind of difference your one solitary life can make on this great planet that all my creation shares. And I can understand how that might overwhelm you at times. But I want you to know I have great plans for you. I have plans that you cannot begin to imagine, plans that will touch and impact the lives of others, plans that will transform you into a person who thinks as I do. Just like an earthly father dreams of the thins his child might grow up to do and be, I dream for you. My dreams though amazing, are dreams that really can come true. But I need your cooperation. I need you to come to me, to learn from me, and to walk in my ways. Oh the marvelous things we can accomplish together!

Planning on big things,

Your loving father

isnt that incredible? please let me know your feelings and howt his effected you! it would mean alot to me! God is amazing and its so encouraging to know he is planning big things for me... i'm honestly humbled.
dont forget to let God bless your day!
lisa marie

Farewell, James Doohan. You had a long run. Scotty beams up no more.

Well the lake trip was awesome if i do say so myself! Kayla Womick and i are the champions of tubing wipe outs...haha yes. She flipped off of her tube, landed ontop of me and we hit our heads and then she flipped off of me and into the water haha great stuff right there!

Then one time we hit some HUGE waves and on the second one i bounced off the water, let go, spun around about 5 feet off the water and hit my whole right side which was extremely red the rest of the day which earned me the first shower. Me and kayla rock.

Then i had to leave early the next day and duane was getting us on tape and me and kayla were planning on doing something cool again so we hit some big waves and when i came down...my back felt like it snapped in two. So i let go and just sort of sat in the water for a second too scared to move because i thought i had broken somehting. Well nothing was broken but i think i strained something so now (2 days later) i am going to the doctor and we are giong to see if anything is wrong. So pray for me guys. It was still fun though! Love you!

[chels]

Sometimes I like to pretend nothing's wrong until it all starts oozing out of small crevices like some strange diseased chemical.....

I feel pretty helpless when I can't be there for you... when I can't look into your eyes... when I can't make you smile.
Just know I think of you every minute.

My dad always seems to notice when my mind's elsewhere. I think that's why I like to be with him. And the moment he sees it he hands me the phone and tells me to call whoever it is I'm thinking about. We have that connection. *nods*

Being away from everything for so long really gives me a new perspective. It's easier to know what's best when you're not always "in" it. I can look back at myself and see what's right and wrong, what's real and fake. What REALLY hurt, and what was REAL pleasure. My smiles weren't always as genuine as I thought. And my heart was always in the same place, no matter how far away. Sometimes you just gotta let yourself go. Just fly high and look down on the rest of it.

photo from blue_lips
KITTY!!!



photo from blue_lips
everyone at Emily's party



photo from blue_lips
Emily's homemade cookie cake



photo from blue_lips
Carrie, Luca, and Chelsey



photo from blue_lips
Emily's finally 15!!



photo from blue_lips
me and Erica



photo from blue_lips
the birthday girl watching Swimfan.

haha Emily's party was amazing. swimming in the rain and "singing" along to Camp. i ate SO much there. i don't think i'm going to be eating for a while :P

so i FINALLY finished Harry Potter at 3am Tuesday morning. i didn't cry, possibly because i read ahead and knew who was going to die. i was giddy with excitement about who hooked up. *sigh* they made a cute couple i think :)

am i a horrible person? all of the sudden i'm feeling like i'm this totally selfish dare i say witchy person that's not me and i hate it, but for some reason i can't control it. i don't think i'm doing anything wrong and then people bring what i do to my attention and i feel like the most downright horrible person ever.

i've been treating some certain people like dirt and they don't deserve it. so from now on i'm going to make a more conscious effort to be a better person.

i love all of you and i hope you know it :)

So, we made the trek last night. Four hours down to Atlanta to attend the second to last Louie-led edition of 722. If by some chance you’ve lived under a rock (or are just deprived) and don’t know what 722 is; go to http://www.722.org and you can watch everything. Otherwise, you understand how cool it is to go.

As I evaluated the happenings of last night I come across two main things that stick out to me, one “natural”, the other is something the selfish part of me isn’t comfortable with.

We walk in, it’s crowded and hot, we’re a tad late, and sit on the floor in an isle. Suddenly, I find myself consumed again. Consumed by a God I can’t understand. One who shatters every comprehending, “Hey, I think I get this!” bone in my body. I’m uncomfortable at the thought of how he works from time to time because I’m finite and can’t see the whole picture he is painting. So this is what I naturally fall to, being uncomfortable. This uncomfortableness (this is not a word I know, Microsoft just told me so) though is one I’m content in. If God were something I could “get”, he wouldn’t be God.

As I continue to ponder the “uncomfortableness” thought, I ask myself a question. “Why does this feel so natural?” “Why am I content and comfortable in “uncomfortableness? This is completely against my ‘wanna feel secure/hate the risk side of things’ nature.” I find the answer no less than a moment after wondering.

It’s because this is what we were created to do. It is sewn into every fiber of our being as a human. It is what God intended for us to do when he thought each of us into life. To stand in awe of Him! To be consumed by Him. To come to the feet, bowed down, realizing our position in the grand scheme of things, and worship Him. Making much of Jesus. He created us for His glory. It’s the only reason we’re here. So naturally, it feels “natural” to do what we were created to do.

Louie stands to speak and you can feel the attention of the room drawn to one person. On the edge of their seat, Bibles and note-taking materials rustle as three thousand college age folks lean in to hear what God has laid on his heart today. Of which he so efficiently communicates.

This is the part where the selfish side of me is gently disappointed because he knows the answers. He just likes to “not think about them” from time to time. The message was on Grace. But, not the easy side of it we often like to hear. The part where we’ve been saved and nothing can pluck us out of his hand. This was the works side of Grace. Not that works are what saves you, but grace doesn’t exist without them. It’s like boiling water without steam, as a friend put it. Fruit proves grace. Grace is outward, visible, productive and fruitful. We are put on this earth to fulfill works he has already laid out for us. God gives us power to serve God. Hmm… this one took a minute… Then he made a statement that is often debated, but completely true. “What you get in Heaven is based on your works here on earth” (2Cor 5:10) You can either have a peanut to lay at the feet of Jesus, or you can have a few truck loads. I’d hate to get to the thrown and only have peanut to lay at the feet of my savior. Yeah, I’m in heaven, but I’m ashamed. My face is in my hands and I’m crying because I finally see that I wasted it. I have only a peanut to show for my life and everything He gave me here on earth. This flies in the face of the whole “fire insurance Christianity” that’s so prevalent.

This is the balanced side of grace.

Louie earlier said something I didn’t expect. He made the comment most of us think is inappropriate and overstepping our bounds. He said it’s ok to say to your friend “I’m not sure your saved.” Part of me inside went “uh-oh”. Our culture tells us this is exclusive and intolerant. Most would reply with something along the lines of “How dare you question my salvation!” In asking a question like this though your not being judgmental, you simply see no fruit, so you’re worried. It’s what a true friend would do. Hearts that are hit by grace are hearts that turn and serve God. If grace isn’t coming out, did it ever go in?

After the evening I was left with a thought of “I only get to bow down one time for the first time and I wanna lay down as much as I can at the feet the God of wonders”


So, was it worth 8 hours on the road, 3 hours of sleep, and a really hard morning getting up at 6? Yeah, … it was.

The next one is August 9th for all you college age folks out there.

woohoo!! i got a 96 on my first biology test in 7 years! AND it's the first biology test i haven't cheated on! :) yay me!

I just now found out that Dave Matthew's Band is in concert in Nashville tonight... darn it!

Oh well....

I've been workin' on the stuff for band camp, it's working out good!

Good Nerdy Momma jokes:
Your mom is so ugly; she put her face up to a retinal scanner and got ERROR: INVALID MEDIA

Dim YourMom as Variant

Your Mom is so stupid, she uploads executables in ASCII mode.

Your Mom is so fat, if she was a c variable, her initialization would look like this: yourMom = (TFAT*) malloc(sizeof(YOUR_MOM)); //Stack Overflow

Kids in the Way!
One of the best bands on earth! I love them!
Check them out on Purevolume!.

(click here to go to their page on purevolume.)

So I'm curious, what do you wanna be when you grow up?

Gloria Patri
Nathaniel

I'm so dizzy.

photo from SingAHappySong

I uploaded some more pictures from the Valentine's Day banquet (I only had one before, and Brian was apalled that he was not in it... but of course, he not only acted in the play but wrote it). So seeing these pictures again reminded me how much I really love to act. And even though I don't think that acting is a large part of my future, I still think this is a talent God gave me to use and enjoy. So where this leads I do not know... it may be as simple as co-leading the creative team this upcoming year...

I can't stop thinking about college... I am so excited about the opprotunity to branch out and learn so many new things...

photo from Tissues_For_Mady






photo from Tissues_For_Mady





photo from Tissues_For_Mady

hey guys check this out. It's a SUPER WEIRD video of this car traveling along the highway. It was going to be a toyota commercial but the video editor found something SUPER weird on the tape. Look very closely at the car as it travels along the highway and see if u notice anything weird.

http://ninjaplease916.tripod.com/car.wmv

"If God is going to write your love story, He's going to first need your pen. If God is going to lead your love boat to the harbor of romance beyond the fairy tales, He needs the helm. As Jesus once said to His followers, "Daily you must trust Me, surrendering everything, including the blood in your veins and the breath in your lungs, for Me to do with as I see fit. If you want to join up with Me, you must let Me lead" (Luke 9:23 paraphrase). If you are ever going to hear the "sweeter song" that God created you to hear, then you're going to have to first open the door to Jesus and let Him has His way. And you are going to have to trust that He, as the inventor of romance, knows how to write a beautiful tale!"
- from When God Writes Your Love Story

All that is so true. If God is the head of our lives then we must trust Him to give us the most beautiful love story ever.

When you cry be sure to dry your eyes,
cause better days are sure to come.
And when you smile be sure to smile wide,
and don't let them know that they have won.
And when you walk, walk with pride,
and don't show the hurt inside,
because the pain will soon be gone.

Chorus:
And when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean blue.
Cause when you dream it might come true.
So When you dream, dream big.

And when you laugh be sure to laugh out loud,
cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty
all around and in yourself, it will help you feel okay.
And when you pray, pray for strength
to help to carry on when the troubles come your way.

Chorus

And when you laugh be sure to laugh out loud,
'cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty all
around and in yourself, and it will help you feel okay.
And when you pray, pray for strength to
help to carry on when the troubles come your way.

Chorus 2x

so we all got back from dance camp on Monday...it was fun...really exhausting, but fun. we camp home w/ three trophies and two phaques...13 all-american nominees, 5 all-american dancers and countless ribbons. we were successful...yay!


so, my mother has informed me that i am going to have to quit my job because i am missing out on required activities (i.e. the football/cheerleader/danceteam picnic) i just forgot to ask off and she is freaking out. i dont want to quit cause i dont like asking for money and she thinks i have problems...i would explain more but she reads phusebox and gets angry when i acknowledge the fact that we are not, in fact, a perfect family.


lastly, i am going to the dave matthews concerrt tonight and i think i am excited i havent been to a concert in forever so its gonna be fun. i dont think ive ever been around that many drugs at once, oh well, it will be an experience!

p.s. - i have also been forbidden to read my harry potter book that I BOUGHT...i mean, its my book and i bought it! why cant i read it when i want to...she hasnt forbidden me to read the other 4 books i've read this summer...why start now?

Well I had the coolest birthday party ever! Me, my family, and Ben and Garrett went to the lake for like the whole day!! We got two jet skis and that was so awesome! Well now I'm driving so I don't need a ride any more! Holla!

hey hey whats happnin in da hizouse?? lo JK
yeah MarLea came over last night boy was that ever FUNNNN she so0o0o cool!! and we decided to get all dressed up and play supermodels!! lol you know were cool!! and so yea you need to go check em out at
www.xanga.com/tangaray okay? so yeah go... now...i mean it... stop reading this...i said stop!!...well if you insist....STOP!!...lol bye bye!

today i want a garden. a BIG garden. with lots of pretty flowers. and a bench in the middle. where i can go to read or just think.

so here's what happened, eddie was over at my house last night and i was like 'hey you should get a phusebox' and he was like 'i'd never update it' and i said 'i'll update it for you' so he was like ok. so yes it is lauren, but in a way it's really eddie. and i'm sure he'll update himself from time to time. we just got bored. but all the stuff said in the previous entry- all that's very true. i'm his inspiration for life.

in real eddie news- he's finally going to trade his mustang for something more efficient. i told him to get a jeep. he said no...we'll see about that.

This is why I never wear flip-flops.

So you want to know the truth about MySpace.com? Well shortly after FOX bought out MySpace.com yesterday, this article came out about MySpace.com's privacy policy.

Basically, if you do not want to read the full article, MySpace's privacy policy claims all information, photos, blog posts, etc. as assets to MySpace, meaning that yesterday, when FOX bought MySpace, they also bought the right to use whatever information you have placed on MySpace.com for whatever reason they see fit. Technically, they could sell your information, photos, etc. to anyone they want and they would be fully protected under the agreement. The privacy policy gives them the right to do whatever they want.

Also, it has been found that MySpace has many ties with companies that supply pop-up ads and spyware/adware that is automatically installed on user's systems without permission. Adware and spyware is one of the biggest problems facing internet users today, and MySpace is one of the largest websites on the internet.

If you ware interested in this and the story about how MySpace quieted a college student who researched the background of this company, visit this page to read the full article.

[nt]

Somewhere back there
I left my worries all behind.
My problems fell out of the back of my mind.
We're going,
and I'm never knowing where we're going.
To go back to where I was
would just be wrong.
I'm pressing on.
Pressing on
all my distress is going going gone.
And I won't sit back, and take this anymore.
'Cause I'm done with that
I've got one foot out the door.
And to go back where I was
would just be wrong
I'm pressing on.

I loves the Relient K.

I GOT MY PERMIT AND I DROVE TO ON THE RUN ! THAT WAS AWESOME. I drove on Cason Lane. Im so happy. I love cars. I love driving...

- edit

I drove to Ritters and McDonalds. Im good. No really. lol. Talk to Yall soon.

so yea it is only 4 days till me and 11 onlys head out to New York City (Bronx) to paint a school for a week! this will probably me my last post if i do not work on friday. so we are leaving on sunday @ 8:30 am. so pray that we have a great trip! pray for me, clint, justin, chris, lauren, amy, amy, and racheal! as we head up to the big apple! ttul- stephen

oh well, whatever, nevermind.

well, this thing is kinda lettin me on now. it's wierd.

so i was drivin home from work this mornin, and i took a different way, but on that way, they had a road closed for about a mile and i had to take a huge detour. the sign said "road closed to through traffic". another words their just prejudice against through traffic. i could of driven all the way through and cut off about 7 minuetes of driving time. so the road isnt really closed, the road people that put up the signs have just teemed up with opec so that we, the "through traffic" spend more money on gas.

yesterday i was drivin home from the bank and i realized how i dont like how i can smell the person in front of me smoking. we should of have a preference like in restuarants. there should be a "non-smoking" lane. i dont want to get second hand smoke while driving down the road. actually, i dont care about the smoke, it's not like their smokin in my car, i just thought it was a funny idea. smokin is nasty anyways.

only about 4 1/2 weeks till school starts. that means only about 4 1/2 weeks of work left. YES.

piece

i guess everything i say
just turns against me.

but i am an obsessive bitch.

i'm going to love you if it kills me.

[[music like the beautiful Bjork, for example,is summer bliss.]]

i like to pick my nose.

I totally just stayed out 'till 1:30 AM with my mom.

That's pretty damn cool, if you ask me.

Had a good day today. How 'bout you?

... and never stops amazing me. I had a fairly large need come up today. However, I prayed about it and, within five minutes, found out that He had already provided. He knew my need before I asked. Words cannot express my awe! My finite mind doesn't have the ability to scratch the surface of God's omni-ness.
He cares.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. Psalm 139:17-18

"Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to BE the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child's play. They are the secret to the feminine heart.
And yet - how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a women gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale.
Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores and errands, striving to be the women they "ought" to be but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christian women add to the pressure. "Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman." The effect has not been good on the feminine soul.
But her heart is still there. Sometimes when she watches a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, her heart begins to speak again. A thirst rises within her to find the life she was meant to live - the life she dreamed of as a little girl.
The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman - they are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating."

...This is off the back of the book Captivating, of course! I'm sorry that my last "blogs" are on this book, and boys I'm sorry if all I talk about is women and our hearts..and mushy stuff! I'm not a girl who is trying to be all hard-core...women rights, kinda thing! God has laid a passion on my heart for women! Girls, I'm encouraging you....if you can, read this book!!!! It's amazing!!! And guys, if you'd like one of the author's of this book is John Eldredge and he wrote Wild at Heart! And that book is for men!! But talk about changing your heart and opening your eyes!! We are wounded women....I'd love for our generation of women to realize this and allow God to change our hearts!! For us to become healed, women of God and be sure of who we are and who God has made us!! Wow, wouldn't it be awesome?! So that one day when we have little girls of our own....we'll know how to help protect their hearts!! For them to grow up and know they are captivating and beautiful!! To me...that'd be awesome!! My prayer for women is that God would change our hearts! That He would heal them up! That we would realize how beautiful and presious we are!! Man, I can't even describe that passion that God has laid on my heart to inform women that WE ARE ALL beautiful!! Hummmmm....it's so easy to say this, and so easy to read something that encourages us about this kinda stuff....but it's another story when we wake up and try to believe it and remember it throughout the day, isn't it!? Something I've realized lately.....God's trying to get through to women...I've talked to several of my friends that are girls this week....and they all have something in comman! "My heart is wounded...I am wounded from the past.....I know God is trying to heal me!" (This includes myself!) ...God, may you heal up your daughters hearts...we are hurt and broken! I pray you come to our rescue!! I LOVE YOU!!!!
Well anyways...thought I'd feel ya'll in on something God laid on my heart! Not much happen today...I got my passport info sent off, should get it first week of Sept.!!! It's exciting to think in 10 weeks...my life will be turned upside down!! YAY!! I have ready the money I have to send off to make DTS a set in stone thing! lol! And!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol!!! I got this cd, which I shouldn't have because I need to SAVE my money...course I really don't know the meaning of the word...lol! But I got this cd with the song I shall someday get married to, on it!! lol! I know what your thinking...you're shaking your head and thinking, "Amber....hunny-child, you have a while!" That's right I do...but so what!! Let me be the girly-girl God made me to be! :D Well I'm goin' to bed!! Night night...sweetdreamz!!

hmmm... not too much to say. life is pretty good. i'm getting ready for school. it's about 5 1/2 weeks away :) umm... yeah... i feel so loved when people tell me all about missing me. i'm going to miss so many people. i can't even begin. i'm so blessed w/ family and friends... i have so many friends... the list is countless. God has really blessed me w/ that. and i'm excited to make new friends. i am who i am because of the influence that each person has made... not matter what amount of time they were in my life. :) anyways... umm... God's amazing! and i know that there's so much to experience ahead! ~Hope

This week has been great. Even if it was really short. I didn't get to see everyone though and I'm sorry about that but it had to be cut short because my grand is getting surgery. It was nice seeing Lexie, Aimee, Margaret, Brian, Cameron, Sonia, Lauren, and everyone else! 'Mean Girls', against all odd in my mind, is actually a really fantastic and riviting movie! Everyone should see it! Well, have fun friends!

-Dana :)

Wow...summer is going by fast!!! I still have things to do on my to do list:
1. Finish my last summer reading book
2. Study and take the permit test
3. Need to read the Harry Potter Book
and last but not least the dear old band camp is coming up....So yeah, that's basically the rest of my summer in a bunch...

Venezuela was amazing. I had a really good time. It was hard at times because Kyle was supose to be going on the trip with us. Even in light of that, God did some amazing things. We left in the morning at 5:30 and got to our hotel in Ciudad Boulivar at 10:30pm. I was very suprised by how nice the hotel was. It was up on a hill overlooking the whole city. It even had a hammock in each room! Our first 2 days in the city we split into about 6 groups and went door knocking to invite people to a family Bible study and VBS we were having at the church we were helping. We also went to different places in the city during the week and sang. Each night we did a Bible study and VBS. (like I mentioned before) Those things are what we did every day while we were there..... It was cool to see how God was moving in the people of Venezuela. Especially the people that were already attending the church we were helping. Their faith was so real and active. There was a guy that went to the church that couldn't help but share his faith. Get this - he was driving into the city each weekend from a town 2 hours away. He would stay there and learn all that he could from Jimmy (preacher) and then go back and teach the people in his town! If that is not commitment to God and proclaiming Jesus, I don't know what is. Not only was that cool to see. It was cool to see God moving in each person's life that went on the trip with us. I tell you, I am still trying to process everything that was going on in this trip we took. It was by no means an ordinary mission trip, but God had us there for a reason and he showed up regardless. I am just thankfull that He gave me the opertunity to be apart of it.

woot well band went great were kinda smaller than i expected but all the crappy ppl with bad attitudes have all seemed to dissapear!! our freshman were soooo quiet it was weird but yeah the music is cool and i am so pumped!! ah the monopolizing of my life starts today for the next 4 months of my month will be dictated by what my directors want me to do and ah im so excited hopefully the 9ths will come out of there bubbles and all will be well ah im so pumped !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PEOPLE ARE SO CONFUSING!!!!!!

photo from sarah

this is my teddy graham....

photo from sarah

this is me trying to imitate my teddy graham!

“Roads We Travel”



Verse 1

Traveling down a dirt road,

don’t know where it leads to.

Could led us to our deaths,

Or to the heavenly gates.



Chorus

Sometimes we travel down roads we don’t know,

Sometimes we don’t even care.

Its an improbability,

But its part of our nature.



Verse 2

Sometimes we know what’s at the end,

But sometimes its like a ton of bricks.



Bridge

It could be the right road,

Or it could be the wrong one.

There’s always consequences,

But we don’t care about them.



Chorus

Sometimes we travel down roads we don’t know,

Sometimes we don’t even care.

Its an improbability,

But its part of our nature.



Verse 3

Traveling down a dirt road,

Don’t know where it leads to.

Could led to our deaths,

Or to the heavenly gates.





Hey yal this is the song i wrote go to this website....

http://www.savefile.com/files/3578063

and u can listen to it.. well leave me comments bye..

well i had a pretty awesome day we had guard from 9-5 and that was awesome and fun and what not...it was oretty interesting to say the least.....

Right now i am so consumed in thought it's not even funny...like i don't know what to focus on it's crazy i don't think i'll be able to sleep tonight because of it it's awful.
i won't even get into all im thinking about and someof it is happy but alot of it is deep thought do you guys know what im talking about?? or am i on my own??

well im going to go talk to you guys later....
I LOVE YOU GUYS
GOD BLESS
Leah

always be yourself no matter what that might bring.......hmm....

Just when you think you have convinced yourself that you are over something, or in this case, someone, they show up unexpectedly after several weeks without any type of contact and before you know it, you are hurled right back into that sickening cycle of love, anger, and hurt. Will this madness ever end? Will I ever remember how sanity feels? Will I ever be able to see him and truly feel nothing? Will I ever be able to let myself love that strongly again? (Don't worry, I know the answers are yes, it will just take some time).

photo from carla

i dedicate this picture to maria because i miss her and i love her so much! this is the picture that i see everyday above my computer...I LOVE YOU MARIA!!!!

ps- you are still the BEST big sis EVER, even if you are hundreds of miles away!

i'm such a playa. i've got... 2, maybe 5 guys in nashville. 3 or 6 here. whatever. lots. i have lots of guys i'm after. and there're always new ones. but i can't pick one. i guess... i'll see in the future, whichever one stands out.

so boys, be on your best behavior.

anyway... now that i've freaked out my family if they're readin this... cause i made myself sound like a ho. -i swear i'm just a hormonal teenager- ...
carly and i went to starbucks with her dad, and then went to the mall. i got $5 HOT sunglasses! and we're gonna go get some CA-UTE jackets by-one-get-one-free tmorrow.

Mighty, awesome, wonderful
Is the holy cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life
To lift us from the fall
Mighty is the power of the cross!!

Love Through Christ!
~Rachel~

today i worked all day at the wonderful place i work at called ritters.
Tomorrow I am seeing Charlie & the Chocolate Factory with mom & brother
Tomorrow I work 6-9:30 ((gayyy))
Thursday I leave for Austin Peay State University for my All-State Choir Workshop
Come home Sunday sometime then back to work.. before I know it....
I'll be starting back at Riverdale High School for my 4th and final year. Senior year. man oh man.. time sure does fly, eh?
Seems like just yesterday sitting at CMS waiting for my name to be called and meeting all the friends I still have now.. gahlee


*Edit* 7/20, 4:32 pm
Went and saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.. i liked it!
Tomorrow I leave for Clarksville to learn All-State Choir Music.. but I will be home Sunday
Well.. Mint Choc Chip is today so i am off to go get some.. yUm!

Patterson Park kids suck! Today Hunter (another lifeguard) told a kid to get off the rope, and what did the kid do? The kid goes "Man, get off my nuts!" So we kicked him out. Then I ended up kicking two more out. They are so freakin RUDE!

dear everyone,

i love lauren nicdao with all my heart and soul and being. she is the light of my life and i should never ever open my gay mouth and offend her again. i'm over at her house right now and she's being so nice and buring cds for me! what a friend. i love her so so much. peace out. leave comments.

So, I'm bitchy and opinionated. Why do I even try?

Hello
People i had an ok day...i guess i went to target this morning and then sonic and then my internet got messed up and i havent been on the internet all day and i am finally on now...yay my dad fixed it when he got home

-Jannie

"Scars" by Papa Roach

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]


hope u took the time to read most of those lyrics. amazing song. sometimes u jus need to stop, analyze your life, accept the changes in people, move on, pray you learn to forget and forgive... i love you guys

I'm 3.32 gigs into my iPod by now, covering many decades, many genres, and many many artists. I also got the iTrip at Target for $25.

SIMPLE PLAN ROCKS MY FACE OFF!!!
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!! CANT WAIT FOR THEIR NEXT CD OR THE CLICK FIVE'S FIRST!!!
TO DAY IS A GREAT DAY!!!
JACQUE!!!

Amy Moore blew her top
Stole a car, shot a cop
Sped away 2000 miles
Didn't stop until she hit New Orleans

But that's alright
There's just one thing
Her wedding ring, or anything
She left behind, forgot to pack
How the hell is she gonna get it back?

Paperface
Paperface
I never heard of paperface
Until I moves to the west coast
Where I found that to be smooth
I had to wear a paperface

That's alright
There's just one thing
How am I supposed to sing
With this thing in my way
With this thing...
In my face
Paperface
Paperface

Only hope to see
See what's underneath
Only hope to be
The me that's underneath

Amy Moore blew her top
Stole a car, shot a cop
Sped away 2000 miles
Didn't stop until she hit New Orleans

But that's alright
There's just one thing
Her wedding ring, or anything
She left behind, forgot to pack
How the hell is she gonna get it back?

Paperface, paperface, paperface, paperface!

hup, hup [freakout]

i like grapes.

so i went to the beach this last weekend and i think that i might actually be lighter than before i went. i desperately need a tan.

can't really describe to anyone what is going on in my head right now. i think it is just to survive. working on paint the town is a killer. there are ten million and one things that need to get done before the week starts and ten million and two things to do during that week. i some times feel like i am swimming in a sea of craziness.

so it is official i miss murfreesboro today. all my friends, driving down greenland, being at belle aire...i miss the things of the past of the boro. cause if i was there now it wouldn't be the things that i am missing. all of my posse is pretty much gone for the summer, the hardings live in another state, my old roomies wouldn't be around...so actually today i miss the past. don't get me wrong, i love ny and love what is ahead in the future...just remininscing (i think that is how you spell it)

so to all the ones i loved before...i miss you and still love ya. take care.

well i decide i should up date..i got back from camp on friday...which was amazing..God is like the kewlest..he has shown me so much.but on another note.i had dance team yesterday and that was fun...we just worked on choeraghphy.and ive been workin on painting my room which will be brown and roybin egg blue...only like my 2 favorite colors ever!!well im gonna go!bye lovers
stacy

Band camp started today!!! Well... it went good for our first day.... we have a lot of work though.... we're playing cannon in D! Yay! great fun! I need to work out my double strokes back up in traditional grip.... I still have great doubles in matched but traditional's still new to me... BUt yeah.... and I have trouble standing straight becuz I'm kinda crooked and have some back problems... I'm workin' on it...

Yes, band WILL be interesting this year...

Gloria Patri!
Nathan.... Percussion Expert (yeah right... just kidding, not even close)

Apple is coming in the backdoor for a multimedia monopoly built on the popularity of iTunes and its equally qualified white box companion. Many questioned Apple’s innovative spirit as they introduced the first iPod several years ago. After all, who would pay over $400 just to have a digital music player? Whatever Apple and head CEO, Steve Jobs did, it worked. Now, the iPod has become a cultural icon. Just step out on the sidewalks of any college campus or catch a ride on any major subway system in America and you can see the symbolic white headphones everywhere.

Now, with iTunes 4.9, podcasting has been thrust into the mainstream. Think of podcasting as radio for the iPod (or any MP3 player). Once subscribed to a podcast feed through iTunes, the software will automatically check for new episodes and then push them to your iPod whenever it is synced. Podcasting, a technology that has only existed for a couple years, was underground until now, characterized by almost college-raido-esque shows encoded in an MP3 format.

Now that Apple has realized the significance of this technology, Podcasting is here to stay. Companies like ABC, Disney, and CNN are jumping on board with their own podcasts available through the iTunes podcast directory, along with 4, 500 other podcast feeds. In the next few months, more traditional broadcast companies will jump on board with podcasting, delivering content in yet another form. Imagine waking up in the morning, grabbing your iPod, and listening to all the top news stories of the day on the way to work. Don’t like a story, just skip it and go right to the next segment.

So what is next? Now that Apple has conquered digital music distribution, digital music hardware, and now podcasting, what is next on their media domination list? Video. Apple is already bundling music videos with special featured albums, playable right in iTunes. Just this week, it is reported that Apple has been discussing the possibility of offering music videos for sale in the music store. Video is coming.

The backdoor that Apple is creating to the multimedia monopoly lies between podcasting and the recent addition of video support to iTunes. Apple is about to nail the coffin lid on all other digital media distributors, and possibly other digital media device manufacturers. The feeds that power the podcasting technology in iTunes not only support audio formats such as .MP3 and .ACC, but they also support .MOV, Apple’s Quicktime video format.

Once Apple releases the rumored video iPod, the clients that they have built through offering podcasting, such as ABC and CNN, will begin to start offering video segments pushed to the iPod with the same technology as podcasts. What does this mean? Within a few years, Apple will have an even greater market share by increasing the content and capabilities of the iPod. Apple’s online store will not only offer music, but also music videos and perhaps television shows. CNN headline news segments, sports highlights, and other short video content can be pushed to the iPod the same way podcasts are designed now, not to mention the possibility of eventually offering full feature-length movies.

This new video content perfectly explains Apple’s newly introduce H.264 video codec: highly compressible, yet extremely scalable. These videos need to be able to be compressed in size to minimize bandwidth and space issues. They also need to be scalable to allow for external connection to a larger display. Imagine taking your iPod to a friend’s house, connecting it to the television, and watching your favorite episode of Family Guy.

While other companies are trying to manufacture video devices without sufficient content and cell phone companies are trying to stream low quality video to tiny cell phones, Apple is coming in the backdoor, building a stable structure before expanding to other media markets. It is simply genius. Apple is in a position to become a major leader in the multimedia distribution industry.

So i have friends now, that is exciting! I havent really figured out how the whole picture thing works, but when i do i will get some on here so you have something to look at. I hope everyone is having a good day

*please pray for my nephew. He is in the hospital for dehydration, and some other stuff. He will be fine, but he is just so little. i hate to see him in that big bed.

Putting together my new bulletin board…



photo from SingAHappySong

My new bulletin board… (If you’re looking at this and thinking “I am one of Amy’s best friends, where I am on this?" then you’re probably somewhere else in my room)



photo from SingAHappySong

Contemplating how the things I will need for NY will fit into a small suitcase…



photo from SingAHappySong

Thinking about college…



photo from SingAHappySong

*EDIT*
P.S.
Yahoo story says of Bush's Supreme Court Justice nominee... I thought it was funny...

"Abortion rights groups allege that Roberts, while deputy solicitor general during former Bush's administration, was hostile to women's reproductive freedom..."

Hey everyone i'm back from Louisville and it was awesome to say the least i did get sick and it wasnt fun but i had loads of fun wit my friends and all and I'm so tired tho but yea well im out peace
--Curtis--

I have absolutely no idea what’s in store for me.

I could be married or single,

rich or poor,

long-lived or die young.

In fact, there is absolutely nothing God guarantees us about life. The only sure thing is that we’ll die. Everything else is kind of iffy. I think we as humans go out of our way to avoid thinking about death, but there’s something really refreshing about living in the realization that we’ll someday die.

For one thing, it makes everything that’s hard about life easier to bear cause we know it’ll pass. It teaches us to live with detachment – not the sort of detachment where we don’t allow things to move us, but the sort where we let ourselves be moved easily and passionately, but don’t try to claim or possess the things that move us.

Once you come to realize how unbelievably brief life is, then you understand that greatness is absolutely not the goal of life. Living with what time we have to the glory of God is.

It doesn’t matter if I’m not really great.

And if I don’t have to be great, that means I can fail.

And if I can fail, that means I can try.

And if I can try, that means I'm going to have a good time trying.


I love you guys.

Christina

See how popular you are compared to your other friends on AIM...

Hey yall this summers goin alright, just been hangin out with parker kate and natalie mostly theyre nice people...lol...and taylor holland is alright too, so is everyone else im friends with...im trying to make this more then just a sentence long so now that it is, im gonna go see ya

so i ate lunch with my mom today and i realized that i have no clue what i am going to do after college. i have been in such a hurry to get out of school all my life, but i have nothing to do afterwards! i will not have a degree in academics, i will not have a degree with an employable skill (well, if you don't count being a famous singer...), and since i had a stroke at 21, i will most likely not have any insurance unless it is through a job. crap. maybe i should just start all over with this whole college thing and be a nurse like my roommate...

then leave me a flipping comment!!!!!!!!

wow... i haven't been this bored in a long time.. of course i have things that need to be done, but i'll do them later.

it's been raining off and on today... like really hard... i like the rain...it's so soothing...especially at night.

well...i think i'm gonna go do those things that need to be done now.

later ya'll

I can't wait I leave for passport Saturday! Its going to be so much fun. Allison doesn't get to go this year because of sports. But my mom is going with me! I an so excited that I already started to pack! lol to find out more about it go to http://www.passportcamps.org/

its really fun!

later

nat

I think Im gonna take some pictures and put em on here soon. I gotta read.

- edit

I've been studyin for the permit test. Hope I pass. If I do I'm havin McDonalds for breakfast. - J @ ( 0 B

It's raining right now and I'm listening to weezer. Now all I need is some coffee and i'd be ok.I went to vbs at lascasses last night and it was really good.It felt good to get out of the house. I've gotten to where i don't like being at home anymore. i love to just drive around with my radio blaring. It's so much fun.

I got utterly, completely soaked head to toe walking halfway around Siegel to my car in a torrential downpour just so all YOU people can have your yearbook by September. Grumble, grumble...

Plus Ms. Millsaps (who idolizes my father but can never remember me) yelled at me for 'being out of class' when I never had a class to be in to begin with. I didn't correct her, though. She's not one to argue with.

But now I get to eat pancakes so that makes me happy.

What makes you happy?

WOW summer is almost over!! i cna't believe only like 3 eeks left im kind of excited but i have to read another book firist lol!!! ahhh this is Crazy im going to visit my YAnkee family in NYC next week and im excited! woo hoo but yeah party on saturday!! woo hoo dont know what im gonna wear yet blahh i might just have to go shopping this week and get something lol my parents leave for London on Saturday morning! and will be gone till thursday if any one wants tohang out call me lol! yeah so this is gettin long and im hungry!!

i want to be the princess!!!

i have come to admire children because they don't care what you think of them.

a child will carry a blanket, or perhaps a teddy bear, with them everywhere simply because that is what they love. that is what gives them comfort.

and they aren't afraid to show that to the world.

they haven't yet been told they're "weird" or that "that just isn't done."

they are simply who they are.

a young boy might take to wearing a pirate hat everywhere he goes, or perhaps a cape with his underwear on the outside of his pants. a young girl might wear a tiara, or strap a pair of wings to her back and wave a wand about.

they don't care what you think of them. they haven't yet been laughed or coerced into what is considered "normal."

they just are.

and it's priceless.

i'm convinced that "normal" kills most of the world's pirates, super heroes, princesses, fairies, cowboys, indians, astronauts, and ballerinas before they reach their full potential.

before they hit their prime.

before they can make a difference in the world.

but i have a secret for you:

"normal" isn't real.

it's a lie someone came up with a long time ago to make you feel inferior. different. like you don't belong.

don't give in.

don't believe it.

go dust off your wings, or your cowboy hat, and be who you really are. who you were before you were afraid to be you.

the world would be much more interesting. much more alive.

"become who you were born to be."

i have come to admire children because they aren't afraid to be themselves.

me? i'm a pirate.

you?

anna nalick's c.d is something to listen to
when your heart is ripped out of your body
it's deep stuff.

well I got some new songs onto my mp3
so I'm happy.

&& finally got to getting the batteries to my camera
so pictures will be appearing quite soon :]] yay

man this morning is beautiful.
I did my quiet times today outside.
hmm wow yeah I know.
I've been slacking again.
it's summer but it's still not a reason
not to spend time with God.
I've just had alot of things on my mind lately.
of course my relatonship with God,
my friends, my actions, my family, boys lol
but I do pray everyday about them
&& so far nothing bad has come from that.

unlike yesterday, today is just one of those laid back kind of days.
nothing special unless I go to the movies lol.

mm what you say
oh that you only meant well, well of course you did
mm what you say
mm that it's all for the best, of course it is
mm what you say
that IT'S JUST what we need, you decided this
mm what you say
what did she say?



i fell asleep on the couch last night. just in case anyone cares.

It frustrates me to see people hurt and not be able to help them feel better.It's so frustrating to have nothing to say that will cheer them up.

Just found this blog through google looking for Dark New Day stuff on the web.

CHECK OUT NEW PICS IN THE PHOTOBOX!

I think I've got too many websites, heh.

Xanga:
http://www.xanga.com/kdub05

TheFaceBook:
http://tennessee.thefacebook.com/profile.php?id=9417669

and of course, my phusebox.

Where did everyone who took a senior trip go to this summer? I do believe I'll be in Louisville, KY next weekend at Kentucky Kingdom. Cheap, yet fun. :-)

Lyndi and I are on a kind of movie binge. We've seen alot of the 'summer movies,' most of which I thought were pretty good.

Good:
- Batman Begins
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Fantastic 4
- War of the Worlds
- Cinderella Man (wow, it's long)
- The Longest Yard
- Madagascar
- Mr. and Mrs. Smith
- Wedding Crashers (funniest movie EVER)

Semi-Good:
- Star Wars 3
- Bewitched
- Herbie: Fully Loaded

Horrible:
- Shark Boy and Lava Girl (we took Lyndi's 5 year old brother to see it)

"You better not leave me 'cause I'll find you, hehehehehe..(wierd psychotic look)..hehe."

College is gonna rock. 31 days..

If one were to build a time machine (if such a machine could exist) would you really travel back in time to visit what's already gone on (changing or not changing anything) or leap into the future to see what awaits you? If the events of the past were altered in every individual's respect would it benefit your future? Think back on a memory that says something like "If I could change what I did/said then I would" and really ask yourself if that event were to be altered then would your life now be different than the way it is for better? Possibly worse even? It's just my humble opinion but I believe that no matter how much you wish to change something that's gone on in the past it would be, not entirely pointless but somewhat senseless. Yes, we must take into consideration events such as death, a great loss of somesort, or a tragic event on a wide-scale (i.e. 9/11) but don't things happen for a reason? What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? No matter how badly you get hurt, either emotionally or physically, if you're still living its because something greater is meant for you. The loss of a loved one, while sad and upsetting, can also mean a new path for you or someone else to take..Ellen Dent comes to mind in this seeing as how her death came too soon yet so many people old and young came into church and came to know Christ.

One thing I'll always believe is that no matter how bleak your situation is, how lonely you are, or how hurt you may be there is always something better meant for you. We may not see it immediately but goodness always comes out of badness with everyone telling a different story.

So back to the notion of building a time machine: I wouldn't have any use for it. What's happened has happened and it did so for a specific reason. What will happen will take place as God has set out for it to. All I'm trying to say here is that don't waste your life on the "What if's" and trying to undo something that is impossible to undo. Live life for all it's worth and enjoy it with the ones you love.

If you look back forever, you'll trip and fall on your future.

Special thanks to Alex Rader for giving me the idea of the whole 'time machine' paragraph and to Lyndi Rose for allowing me to be the one you enjoy life with. :-)

peace.out

Here I am
Lying, waiting
Wishing my heart
Youd be taking
So many memories
Rush through my head
As I lay here
Alone in my bed
Remenising
That perfect day
When I slept in your arms
How I wish I had stayed
Missing the times
When you smelled my hair
All these feelings
I cannot bare
Its been a long 8 months
Of simply missing you
I thought I was over it
But what is this girl to do?
If it werent for you
I wouldnt know what
true love is
I remember perfectly
Our first shared kiss
Now all I have
Is a box full of you
Things that remind me
What is this girl to do?
Now I sit here alone
Trying not to cry
But the thing that gets me the most
Is the memory of Xi
8 long months of regret
And missing you
Please tell me
What is this girl to do?

an update for the masses