gettin back into the swing of things at work is difficult after being on vacation for so long. i'm excited about it all though. tomorrow is labor day but i've gotta go into the office cuz i took saturday as my vacation day instead. i did that cuz katie was in town. it was great having someone around that really knows me. it was sad walking out of the airport to the bus and knowing that it would be a while before i see her again. and i started to think about all of the people i miss right now. but then i also remembered where i was at and what i was doing and then all i could think about was how much there is to look forward to in the future.

with katie in the city, we did a LOT of walking. a good 7-10 miles both friday and saturday, with a few more miles today before she left. saw a lot of the city i've seen before, as well as many other parts for the first time. oh, there's a walgreens at the bottom of the empire state building...who knew! i also did some shopping since this past week was the 'tax free' week here. had dinner on saturday night at the espn zone, yummy food and lotsa football. today for lunch we ate at cafe rakka in the east village. the best falafel i've had!

whew, with all that said...i was pooped when i finally made it back to my apt this afternoon. so...i slept a bit. and now i need to get some work done-yuck. oh, the next five months at graffiti will be very interesting. with taylor and susan gone, everything that is talked about on sunday mornings will point to "graffiti-a church that serves." i knew several churches had grown out of graffiti, but didn't know much more than that general statement. today i learned that those churches include:

mosaic manhattan-young professional church located around ground zero
lighthouse church-chinese church in the east village
journey-young professional church located in midtown
creator's circle-native american church
graffiti 2-for the lower income in the south bronx
underground church-a church for the hardcore metal/punk rockers in the city
tribe-a church for the community of artists, musicians, performers in the east village
shuar adonai-a chuch for the jewish in lower manhattan

this just proves how great God really is. and how God can work when people seek after and follow God's leading. it's very encouraging to see results. and it's also just a small reminder to continue to trust God to work when it is impossible to do on our own.

and i'm out on that note...

photo from Kevin

Hey Yall I didnt even know what this thing was until I looked at one of my friens profile and I figured since I have like every other site out there why not get one of these also. Welp I hope yall like my site and I plan on makin it alot better once I figure out how to work it a lil better .

-says fool at the same time-
claire: jinx
jamie: ahahahah
claire: SHUT UP
jamie: -giggles-
claire: I SAID SHUT UP!
jamie: -silent-
claire: you're boring me
jamie: it's because I cant
claire: SHUT UP
jamie: -laughs some more-

man how mean is she?
ahahah kidding
I LOVE YOU CLAIRE < 3
you're my best friend :]

oh yeah Claire, people taking pictures
of them kissing their boo-bahs
is so cool.
I dont think you know what you are saying.
hehehe

p.s;; I love meeting new people :]
it always me makes me so happy..
&&& I love the song
honey & the moon by joseph arthur
< 3
great song.

So... Labor Day 2morrow so no school! ^^ so this is the plan (subject to change):
12:00 meet at Old Fort park for picnic
-:--(?) go see the movie Red Eye
-:--(?) go to Erma Siegel playground
and/or my house to go swimming

Right now, it looks like it'll be:
me, Rachael, Jackie, Cole, Apes, Jordan, Sara, Elissa, Bosly, my parentals (probably), Matt, LaDonna, and some other ppl i need to call but i think thatz it...

so... if you wanna go, just call me. (653-9563)

I'm so sick of frikkin crying,
how can everything be so perfect
then all of a sudden it's over...
what is wrong with me,
am i f*cking diseased?
I need help..
really bad

I'm going to church wednesday
and Sunday
and wednesday
and sunday
let's see how it goes from there...

heart break is aweful...
life's a nonconclusive nightmare...
sometimes perfect gets hit by a car...

everyone should take note of the pictures to the right. these birds were in my hallway this morning. and they're very large

Sharing a bathroom with two brothers didn't work, so maybe now that one's gone....

Haha, yeah, pretty sure I spent like an hour of my day pacing around my room and muttering ideas about how to change my room and how to take over my bathroom. And I finally washed my car! *dances*

Siegel has a winning streak! Siegel has a winning streak! haha, I loved the way the paper worded it-"this is the first time the third year school has won consecutive games". I wonder if we get better than blackman if they'll still hate us so much =)

I have so much to say, and no words to write it in. So in that case...

~Rachel =)

My first days of work went surprisingly well...aside from a kid getting a squishy pencil grip stuck on the ceiling, and me giving change back in dimes.

Siegel beat Oakland friday, that was pretty awesome.

I still stand by the fact that I hate scary/ suspenseful movies...I don't see the entertainment in them... Although, I would sit through Red Eye again just to see the credits

UT 17 UAB 10

The game yesterday..sucked horribly. The atmosphere, experience, and the fact that football season is back was enough to bring a huge smile to my face and the only way the game would have been better would have been if ti were, well, a game. #3 in the country. Highest pre-season ranking since I think 1999..after UT's last National Championship. We played freaking UAB. Yeah, we won 17-10. Everyone in the top 5 blew out their opponent except for us.

Erik Ainge is, I'm pretty sure, no longer our starting QB and we need ALOT of work on our pass defense. Gerald Riggs is an absolute beast. Clausen is the better QB so far and my money's on the fact he will start our next game. Did I mention that it's against Florida at The Swamp? Somehow or another I still have faith..

Now we're being called overrated and whatnot but hey, someone think's we're good enough to be in the top 10.

Enough about football..for the moment anyway.

I'm home for the 'weekend'. Actually just today and tomorrow and I'll be gone for another two weeks or so before Lyndi and I go to the Rascal Flatts concert. Couldn't let 'em come back to Nashville and miss out, lol. Home is a place of escape for me..to just relax. Kind of like a vacation..

Orange Nation is everything I hoped it would be. Neyland is..as it always it, heh.

I'm hoping for a BCS bid..actually we're all hoping for a Rose Bowl berth. The significnce of the Rose Bowl you might ask? That's where the BCS Championship will be played this season. Hopefully Tennessee's first National Championship since 1998. I think back to the last time Tennessee played UAB. I know they won by some 20 odd points but I just can't remember when that other game was play..

Oh. Right.

1998.

September 17: #3 Tennessee @ #10 Florida.

Keep everyone in Louisiana, Mississippi, and those connected to the hurricane in your prayers!

I

no clue... at all
i just did this bc i think paul told me too
but um...

hi

As the wise man, Matthew Harding, would say..."WHAT THE PHAT!!!" So, online courses...great idea, but seriously, do you actually learn from them. Currently, I am taking two online courses; Principles of Management and Consulting/Auditing. The latter of the two...is probably going to be the most ridiculous class, by ridiculous, I mean hard. Its a senior level class...and am I a senior??? Holy heck no! Just a wee lil ole junior. Anyway...the only reason why I am complaining is probably b/c I know that I do not have the time management for such a responsibility as to having to actually sit down and accomplish something...I mean really. These two online courses aren't the only pseudo-productive thing I've began...I have also started up the ever so lovely North American Missions Board (NAMB) Application for my summer in NY. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I was preparing myself for a pretty extensive application...but was not prepared for this. The amazing thing about it...is that it definitely makes you think and pray about your purpose and the true reasons for pursuing this specifc mission. During any other moment of my life, I would have chosen to go to NYC for selfish reasons...just to be there and see the city in all its splendor. Which is why I have never gone w/ AO. But, after this summer of just visiting...my heart is geniune about pursuing that mission field. So...I mean...I suppose...I can handle filling out 7 essays and all of the other random questions NAMB decides to ask.

i have been trying to think about life..
i understand life. i know how i want to live my life. i want to strive to live for God, maintain an intimate relationship with him, and share him with everyone around me. after i have finished my life here on earth, i die.. and go to heaven.
heaven....
i cant grasp what heaven is going to be like. i cant imagine being there forever... honestly, its an amazing thought. theres nothing after that.. its just an eternal life with God.
i cant wait!

dont forget to let God bless your day!

HELLO everybody!
I like High School a lot.... It's really fun!
Go OHS..lol
Anyways I'm so glad we have labor day: (The first Monday in September, observed as a holiday in the United States and Canada in honor of working people)
HAHA ..labor day rocks!
well buh bye!

sometimes my life sucks
right now
its ok...
i had the best day in the world yesterday with jessica hunter, jessica gaines, and kylie walker... heck.. even got a private dance from kylie and jess g... lol... (you woulda had to been there)

i just started oakland this year... im a junior...
people there are so.... interesting
i love it

iv kept it really really quiet (like 3 people know) but i had to have blood tests done becasue according to the doctor and my mom (who used to be a doctor for 7 years) say that i may have epilepsy... not good

amanda... she stresses me out... shes like "i want to talk to you"... "no we cant walk and talk"... and then... "hey paul" or "hey adam" or "hey chris morgan" "walk with me... i need to talk to you"
she never involves me with what shes doing
whats going on
anything
she dramatizes things... and yes.. it gets her attention...
she doesnt realize it... and few people do... but she treated me like any other person
not like her boyfriend
and as u all know... we broke up

lindsay... dont even get me started... she tells me she still loves me... that she thinks we were meant to be together... that she wants us to be together forever... but blows me off and stands me up for Evan Milby.... whatever... she can live her life... with out me

sara romans... this is one cool chick.. she seems to cheer me up... a lot... even when shes not around... she makes me happy and yeh... well shes just cool

friends.... some of them seem like there stabbing me in the back
like they have been lying to me ever since we met
complete hyprocrites... liars... arrogant stuck up pricks who think they know it all...
some have been my life... jessica g jessica h and kylie w... i love you people... u rock

ok so im looked down on... a lot... im pushed away... a lot... im shot down... a lot... abandoned... ignored... mistaken... misunderstood... broken... and yet... u people all see me as "Chris the arrogant know it all"
do me a favor... one of these
either A: give me one example of when iv been arrogant (there has rarely ever been a time i dont think of other peoples wants and needs before my own)
or B: shut up... get out of my life... and leave me alone (iv got enough goin on... i dont need you)

sometimes i want to run away... i greatly considered it a few weeks ago... i literally packed a suitcase... hid it in my closet and was planning to leave that night... but i was on the phone with the girl that had my heart in her hands and i forgot all about my plan...
i just want to be free... no parents telling me im wrong.. that im useless... no people stabbing me in the back... no relationships that end in heart break... i want to be happy... and right now... im not that happy...

take me away from here... please... move me thousands of miles away... move me to the moon... i want to be gone... away from anyone and everyone... for a long long long time

i was at sports com... we were playin volleyball... and i picked up some sand... a little fell through my finger... i began to pass it... right hand... then left... the sand got smaller and smaller and smaller... until i had just grains left.... thats my life... i seem to be passed back and forth... like an old antique ragdoll... like yesterdays news... like just anyother old useless piece of crap... never even so much as hearing the words "i love you"... and it be true... so from all the hands iv been at the mercy of... im now left to mear grains... little pieces of my soul.. my body being tired... bruised... bloody... broken... my heart being devoured at your will... my mind, my emotions, my everything... fading away before my eyes... and i cant do anything about it...

maybe im just a lonely emo kid wanting more love and attention... i dont even know myself anymore... maybe im just making stuff up... who knows... honestly... who cares... i could probably post on here that i love cheese and u people would feel the same way... its like i mean nothing to you people... and u know it... i was starting to write a song... it was just a song.. now its becoming the story of my life


Dreams end, souls fade
Hopes die and hearts break...
And your to blame for everything... thats happening
So here we are again
Same old argument...
And i am wondering
If things... will ever change

Cuz i want... you to know.... who I am...
Cuz all that I have is in your hands...
IM AT THE MERCY OF YOUR STRENGTH

I am yours, here i am...
Im waiting... waiting
Each and every time i stand...
You push me in the dirt...
Only to extend ur open hand...
You help me up and blind my eyes
Foolish me
I fell... for you...
Again...


thats the first verse... prechorus... and chorus... and its said enough... thats exactly how i feel..
the first 2 lines.. thats me... my dreams have ended
my my soul is fading... my hopes have died... and my heart... its been broken one to many times

I only wish those 3 words were true

yup i was in alabama this with alex this weekend, so i couldnt see the oakland game, thats awesome that we won though. o well, we atta win another game and maybe i can be there for it. hmmmmmmmm thats about it, its been a pretty good weekend, even though mtsu lost. who cares the vols won!!!!!

hey i took some awesome pictures with laura last night. we had so much fun!!!

we wne to Jason's Deli , Bed Bath, and Beyond, and Walmart. We had a ton of fun. Oh my gosh.

When we went to Bed. Bath, and Beyond looking for stuff for my new room, They have these music samples where you press a square and it plays the music, well we were listening to My Girl and we started dancing really stupid. There wasnt anyone in there so we didint care, but all of a sudden this guy walks by and like does a double take and we stop and start cracking up laughing. He finds us and tells us there is a dance competition there every Thursday. LOL!!

Oh and thenw e went to walmart.There were these guys who like were dressed funky with boxers over their pajamas, and they had on camoflauge and war paint, huge sunglasses, spandex, and they were playing dodgeball/ basketball in the isle with the bouncy balls!! We got their picture!!

tellme if you like the new profile pic...

alexanna

Outdoor beauty!! It blows me away to see God at work in the design of our universe. How faithful the sun is every morning, gives me chills. How committed to moon is to give way to the sun, brings me trust. The effects of wind. The growing process of plants, trees, and insects. Have you ever stopped and just paid attention to how busy the bugs are under your feet?? There is a whole world under there.

Then after looking at the beauty of my world, i see the destruction of others. Katrina, God made, God Design. When the Tsunami happened I asked myself this question and I do now. Did God send this storm to get rid of the sinful acts in the towns that were wiped out? I mean, God sent a flood to get rid of all the sin in the world, why wouldn't he do that again? Is he trying to send a wake up call to the world and say WAKE UP!! I am still God!!

I also look at this and realize how close the end of times are. Jesus says that there will be great natural disasters and people will become greedy; stealing and only thinking of themselves. Yet, that is present on our televisions everyday.

I am not always sure of God's plan and I don't think I want to be. If I know what he is going to do next, then that strips away every ounce of faith and trust that I gave Him when i surrendered to His love. I will continue to pray and seek God's face and ask him to reveal himself to me in all that he does. And trust him through it all.

Now that William Rehnquist has died, President Bush will have to appoint a new Chief Justice to the Supreme Court. He's having a hard enough time with John Roberts, but I can only imagine the mayhem when he tries to elect a conservative for Chief.

Why is everyone so opposed to Bush?

I actually understand that some people hate war. I almost even understand, since most people in this country are misinformed, that they may think it's kinda pointless (even though I stronly believe it is not).

First off, let me make one thing clear: Hurricane Katrina is NOT Bush's fault. Some people have actually had the audacity to blame this natural disaster on him. Um... hello?! If Kerry had been elected, pretty sure I wouldn't have blamed a natural disaster on him! I'm sorry, but how stupid can you be?

Or maybe you don't think the hurricane itself is Bush's fault, but you feel you have to blame him for something. As one woman on the news declared, "I'm never going to vote for George W. Bush ever again!" Um, newsflash! First off, she's a moron because most 10 year olds have enough understanding about civics and government to know that she couldn't vote for him again anyways, even if she wanted to. He could run for VP, but most people base their vote on the Pres anyways. Secondly, this woman is a moron because nothing concerning this disaster is Bush's fault.

I have some Bush- hating moderarte relatives that suggested a notion last night at dinner. They suggested that it's President Bush's fault that some people were not evacuated. First off, he's got a whole country to deal with, and that's not his main job. There are other people who are responsible for making evacuations happen. Secondly, he actually called LA and told them that the evacuations needed to be happening! (I'm not sure about MS and AL.) And if you have been watching any of the coverage of Bush visiting these people, he's hurting, so much. It kills him to see his citizens hurting like this. He's kind and compassionate. He doesn't just sit back and do nothing.

You don't have to like Bush. I have friends and relatives who don't and we still get along well. What drives me so crazy is when people hate him to the point that they blame everything on him.

Does anyone else remember 9/11? How much we all loved Bush as he visited Ground Zero, mourned with hurting families and firemen and police... most everyone in the country respected him. There wasn't an angry mob of people blaming the terrorist attacks on him and holding him personally responsible. When he declared that we would fight those that had done this to us, we all cheered.

Then he takes action, and the war in Iraq begins, and all of a sudden he's a bad guy. Oh how soon we forget... our country was attacked! Are we so wrapped up in not hurting others that sometimes we forget that fighting for our freedom is important? If we stand by and let everyone walk all over us, we will fall as a nation, and it won't be pretty.

I was watching Little House on the Praire last night... ha ha... I know... and Laura's parents were talking to her about pushing down a girl who had been pushing everyone around at recess and been mean to Laura. Laura took a stand, she said, "we can't keep doing things your way." She knew the Christian principles her mother had taught her, and every time this mean little girl pushed her down, she got back up again and defended her position again and again. Then she got sick of it, and took the initiative to push the girl to the ground, and there was no more trouble from the snob girl. And while her parents chided her to not do it again, her father told her mother that he had no problem with what she had done; that she had stood up for herself, and that was the right thing.

All that is to say that justice is important. We can, and should, defend ourselves. Granted, we shouldn't pick a fight over every stupid thing, but we can't be doormats either.

Our nation is forgetting this. Our nation has forgotten the price of freedom. And our nation has far strayed from its roots. Our founding fathers wanted a nation that could be independent of others, and offer the people freedom in religion, speech, etc. They felt people should not be oppressed. Now people take this as "we can't hurt anyone's feelings." We're so worried to oppose anyone, to challenge anyone, because it may make them unhappy. It may offend someone if I pray to God in school. But isn't that my freedom of religion? I'm not making any one else pray to my God.

This nation is falling fast. Our morals and values are quickly going down the drain. Once again, I bring up that Bush will be appointing the new Chief Justice soon. How much do you want to bet that this is going to be dragged out for months and months as people do everything they can to find something wrong with someone who... heaven forbid... may stand for God's values in the Bible?

What makes me sad is not only that non- Christians are getting more hostile about all this, but that even Christians are becomming desensitized to the importance of standing strong for Christ. I know a lot of you are good Christians who want to follow Christ, but you're thinking that, realistically, this nation is never again going to accept a conservative leader, and so comprosing on a couple of things doesn't bother you. Maybe I'm entirely too black and white and idealistic, but I must stick with what I believe. As long as I have the choice to, I will only support canidates with conservative moral values. I would vote for a financial Democrat with Christian values before I voted for a financial Republican with atheist values.

Ironically, the song "Socially Acceptable" by dc Talk is currently playing on my iPod. It's about the decline of our culture in this nation. We are starting to accept things that are not ok, once again, because if we don't accept it, it may hurt someone's feelings.

By the way, there is a difference between hurting someone's feelings and opressing someone. If you lie to me, that'll hurt my feelings, but it doesn't opress me. Telling a woman that she cannot murder a child is not opression, it's hurting her feelings that someone dares to tell her that she already made her choice as to what to do with her body, and now she must pay the consequences.

Whatever religion you are, whatever political party, just remember, you can't spare everyone's feelings. It's not realistic. Stand up for what you believe in. If someone doesn't like what you say, that doesn't mean you shouldn't fight to defend it. Where would we be if the colonists were that apathetic?

I fully realize that most of the country doesn't think like me, and that they never will. I fully realize that in this next election I may have to choose between the lesser of the two evils, but I sure hope I don't have to. But even if I do... I have to remind myself that God is bigger than the man in the White House. So here I am, now preaching to myself: God is in control of it all.

i'm losing all faith in humanity. i hate growing up.

"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" --Jack Johnson

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs

The Lord knows that this world is cruel
I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning lovin' somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

I sang your songs, I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
But putting up with them
Wasn't worth never having you

Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I've had enough mystery
Keep building it up
Then you shooting me down
But I'm already down

Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well, if I was in your position
I'd put down all my ammunition
I'd wonder why'd it taken me so long

But the Lord knows that I'm not you
And if I was, I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waitin' on love ain't so easy to do

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

No, I can't I always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

Gotta love getting home a little after 3:00 to find a note on the door saying to be somewhere by 2:00 at the latest.

....

When you already have plans to be somewhere 45 minutes away from the 2:00 location at 5:00. *Slams head*

But what I was going to say before the door-note fiasco is that....

My best friend is fucking amazing. That CD is all I've been listening to for the past 2-3 days. You are awesome, and I love you.

Off to LaVergne....

this morning was awesome! 2 of my friends came to know Jesus Christ!!!!! i'm sooooo excited.. wow i'm like jumping for joy. I've waited sooo long for this to happen and it finally has, God has answered my prayers!

I love Chattanooga! I think I am going to look at UTC for possible colleges. My short trip was amazing!

So I woke up this morning and for the 3rd Sunday in a row everybody is gone to church and I am sitting here at home alone bored outta my mind.

I would like to go with my roomies but they never tell me when or where they're going and so I always wake up to the front door slamming.

How to heck do I always end up missing the friggin memo?! I

And then I hear from people about how awesome Greek Weekend is going and blah blah blah. Its making me think about maybe I didn't make the right choice in going early alumni from SigEp.

Arghhh. And something else! This whole hurricane disaster! What the HECK is up with the President. Anybody who knows me knows Im a Democrat..but still. Homeland Security and all that crap obviously isn't working. If we couldn't act faster on something that sat in the Gulf Of Freaking Mexico for 4 days and that we KNEW was coming..how the heck would we react to another terrorist attack or a biological/nuclear attack?!?! AHH!

The world is crazy. And I think im on what would be equivalent to a man having PMS. Im all bitchy.....

-eric

OMG !! IF YOU WANNA SEE SOMETHING FUNNY GO TO MY XANGA AND LOOK AT THE BACKGROUND!! LIL_BITTY_ COWGIRL

Went to the RHS vs. BHS game...pretty fun i got to see all my friends from ICKY rhs lol ...RHS starten to get this attitude like "Were all big and bad" cuz of the football team..starten to get old. Hopefully someone will mess up their record and beat the crap outta em lol okay enough of that... I realized how much i miss my old friends :( *tear* and i met some new cool ppl lol i was just walken around and i heard someone in the bleachers and it was one of my bros old friends and he goes "SWANSON! looking goood!" hahah i was like mmk? i thought it was pretty funny. Then we went out to eat and my sisters X boyfriend was sitten right behind us and we had like one of the WORST waitors and i need some ketchup..she turned around and asked him for his ketchup..i was so embarised lol ...well im supposed to go to the lake later on and then the movies?!?!

ah what a good holiday
hmm well tomorrow
movies at 1:25 at carmike
to watch the red eye :]
come if you want.
it shall be fun.

i love you for you not for what others want you to be.

soo i cant make up my mind on what i want...o well im waiting for tha Lord to tell me!

Friday night was soo much fun! went to Hodges...Jeff taught me how to play pool!!! i won both times i played!!! YAY!! there is some picture over there if you want to look at them...----->

got a butt load of school work to do and not enough time to do it!!! got to work tomorrow...soo there goes my day tomorrow!!! i got my paycheck....YAY!!! i was excited!

well adios!!!

Love Through Christ!
~Rachel~

THIS IS A TEST. I'M WORKING ON PIMPING OUT MY PHUSEBOX. BUT ITS QUITE HARD B/C I DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT HTML. HMMM THE FONT COLOR WON'T CHANGE....WEIRD. OH WELL. I'M SURE I'LL FIGURE IT OUT SOONER OR LATER!

Read back a bunch of posts from after the game on friday.

Not all OHS kids are mean or immature, thank you.

*coughMEcough*

I even threatened some of my best friends over the Siegel kids.

I even went to Steak 'n' Shake after the game with 10 or so Siegel kids.

So maybe if you could just tack a little footnote on the end of your "stupid oakland kids" post that says "but Sarah V. is okay" I'd feel better.

^_^

Hey

We beat Oakland.

Yay.

Too much homework= :-(

it's so sad that drama exists no matter where you reside.
Kroger?
say what?

School's going decently. I'm going to fail AP US History, and If I do, I'm dropping down to standard. So there. Teach me to pretend to be smart.

I love choir. At the moment at least.


Everytime I wake up, my chest is tight. Like there's something inside that prevents me from breathing. I can't talk for at least 45 minutes after I wake, and I have to resort to crude sign language.


Well. Work at 3:30. Hopefully someone cool will be there. Maybe.


[vf]

Titans lost, preseason doesn't matter.

Siegel beat Oakland, heck yeah.

MT lost, no surprise, we don't remember that football has two halves, not good when playing Alabama.

im very much alive. hello to all my friends, salutations to my enemies....and a bullet a andy milinonkis...i hate that damn show

i dare you to move.

how can you say your life feels empty, so late in the day?

well it's love, make it hurt.

i know ugliness, now show me something pretty.

this is fact, not fiction, for the first time in years.

i've never cared too much about honesty.

so it's sad this doesn't suit you now, and me fresh out of rope.

we're losing ground with every passing day.

you don't know me, but i'm sitting next to you.

it's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore.

blood and tears, they were here first.

i promise you i will learn from my mistakes.

for you i'd wait, til kingdom come.

I'll be your best kept secret.

Can't you see the grass is greener where it rains.

With your hand on my shoulders, a meaningless movement... a moviescript ending.

You may say that I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one.

I lost my love, my life that night.

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,blue skies from pain.

It's a lie, a kiss with opened eyes.

We are so far from you.

So you know you're never on your own.

And you know that until the stars fall I will always love you.

You don't care a bit.

It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah.

But what goes up must come down.

Tonight won't make a difference

i don't watch the news that often, well any other tv really, but lately i've found myself stuck to the screens about Hurricane Katrina. and all of ya'll should know it's just a horrible disaster.

so if you could just take a minute or two to pray for them it would do some good.

thanks. and i hope you are having a wonderful weekend

i'm sick. i can't breathe very well and i feel lousy. i've barely eaten anything for days. there's just no point because i can't taste anything. it's not fun. i'm done complaining now. someone make me feel better.

so there comes certain points in yor life...times when you realize things that come with maturity and a deeper level in your relationship with God. you realize somethings are meaningless and you learn the cherish other things.

you realize you are not promised tomorrow, and you better be living right today.

you may think back on your life and automatically want to go back and do it all over again. but if you think about it for a minute you will realize how those events shaped you into the person you are today.

i was thinking like that a little while ago and earlier today. at first i let the feeling of regret enter me, but quickly pushed it away. i know that God will use that for the good somehow. i was thinking about my heart, and how i did not guard it the way God would of wanted me to. it started today when i was listening to "bless the broken road". i began to realize how i did wish i could go back and pick up all the pieces of my heart i so carelessly threw away. and tonight the thought came to me again as i was reading something. i thought about all the "firsts" that were taken away from the special man in my life, because of my mistakes. i wish that i could of honored my future husband ALL the days of my life, like it says in proverbs 31.

think for a moment about that day you meet your future spouse. think about all your past relationships. think about all the times you gave away your heart, and even how you may of given yourself away physically, yes, this even includes holding hands or kissing. and think about what you may hear.

that breaks my heart to think about...

with the more i learn about God's faithfulness, i have realized that if it is His will for you to marry, then He will bring you and that person together. you don't have to date around to find them or just to see what you like or don't like in the opposite sex. God does put desires in your heart about certain traits in the opposite sex for a reason. He will fulfill those desires and bring you one awesome person. instead of dating around, wouldn't it be awesome to devote your single years to having an intimate relationship with God?! letting Him develop you into the person He created you to be, learing how to have a godly relationship and serving Him with an undivided heart.

i know some of you are thinking that is too radical of thinking and you are crazy...

and some of you maybe thinking that is a good idea, but are thinking "i have made mistakes and i can't possibly to that now"...

and for you, there is hope

God has been behind you picking up all the pieces of your heart you have given away. He will give them back to you and restore your heart if you let Him. the process may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

this is something that has been on my heart lately. i hope i didn't offend anyone, that was definitely not my intention. i want to encourage you guys to seek being satisfied in God alone. making Him number one in your life and not a boyfriend or girlfriend.

just seek after God and He will guide you in the direction you need to go.

i hope everyone has a great night!

First, let me start off by saying that I studied for 7 hours straight today! Hello, first of all that is more than I have studied for my finals in the past, and this is what the 3 week of school. This semester is going to rock! Not so much. Anyways, while I was studying, of course my add mind was wandering all over the place, I began to think about where I would like to move after I graduate. See right now I am loving my singleness I guess. I would say I more like the idea that I have the ability to make my own decisions 100 percent on my own terms. I am not having to think of someone else and what effects it might have on a relationship. This kind of excites me, strangely. So I have been thinking maybe California for a start. It is totally different from here, which is a major plus. Then, probably northeastern area for grad school (prob Manhatten or Boston). Anyways, today it was nice to realize that I can go to any of these places, and I only have to think of me. This is totally selfish, I know. Do not tell me this, I obviously realize, but I mean think about it; it is kinda cool. Time to rest for an awesome day tomorrow!

Hey this Phuse Box is really cool!!! Well me and alexanna just got home from Jasons deli...Bed bath and beyond... and walmart! lol!!!! and omg it was hillarous!!!! i will put the pics up here later!!! so many cool things happened today!!! I wanna scream im so excited lol!! well im gonna go i love you all.. and i mean ALL

hmm...im forgetting bout mai phusebox...
poor thing....
hope i dint hurt its feelings =]
lol, kiddin...you dun hafta call da mental hospital
at least not yet XD
maybe tomorrow
someone needs to go to Galleria with me...
actually...im not even sure im gonna go
.....>

Ok let's start w/ yesturday night, so we got our new uniforms and I took mine out of the bag, and guess what??? they are velvet!!! And everyone else had spandex, so mellie and I were the only 2 w/ velvet, but it's ok b/c I really don't think you can tell from the stands that they are velvet, but ours are darker and mrs. monson was so mad, but mr. mieres just laughed and made fun of me the rest of the night, but he knows I know he's kidding so it's all good.

So the highest poing of the game last night was when the guys weren't even on the field... that's right halftime baby, and the funny thing is everyone was on their feet when we were doing our halftime show, but during the game they were just sitting...oh and these people made this sigh that said, "You might be able to beat our FOOTBALL TEAM, but you can't beat our BAND" so yea that was really cool and it is so true, I mean when we lose 63-0 it is kinda sad, but that is ok b/c we are always going to be there for the guys, and you are more of a fan if you are cheering for a losing team then you are for a winning team, so it must be pretty easy to cheer for riverdale b/c they always win...

But last night I saw a bunch of people I know on the RHS band, and I got to see Shayne and boy was he sweatie, but that's ok he played hard and he did good.

Well spent the night at Katie's house and I came to find that it usually isn't good to have your best friends hang out together, at least w/ me b/c all of mine are total oppisites and it's the same w/ me and Kelly who are both best friends w/ Katie, let's just say it was weird...

I hung out w/ Ali and Allysa tonight it was freaking awesome, the greatest night I've had in a while, well actually it was just last week at my party, but it was still a BUNCH of fun so that's all that matters...

Well I'm going to go to bed now, I'm tired and I need my sleep...

I was so totally depressed today.
Just not a good day.
Then these girls in a white Avalon came into my life.
They drove past and yelled "Hey Babys"
I miss-spelled babies to present that it was not like a little baby but like a...you know.
So then they drove past again as I was walkin along and stopped about 10 feet in front of us.
The said " You want a ride?"
Then my friend says stupidly, " Um...No thank you."
I felt so retarded.
I wanted to look cool.
But they still flirted with me while they drove off.
heh.
I was gonna say to them " We're on a walk but maybe we'll catch ya later."
That woulda been so awesome.
I hope I dont sound like a bad kid.
Comment on my stories...
- J4(()8

I'm so excited, ....i may vomit! well maybe not but i am livid with anticipation.

mmm...
I stayed up REALLY late last night puting this sight together at chris slate's house (like 3 or 4 in the morning) and then his mom woke us up at like 7 to go move some couches... that sucked... at 11 I went to my house, got changed and went to work....

DQ Grill and Chill Baby!!!!

It's alright there... a LOT better than McD's
Peace out

---

I bee-bop the Jive Yo!!!

"Do you wanna see somethin really scary?"...hardy har...so, i'm feelin a little better about the whole thing. which is good. i woke up at noon today, which blows, cause i'm gonna feel like shiz tomorrow. oh well. i have a meeting tomorrow as well. oh boy. hey, for a laugh, here's my pledge letter---

Dear Whitney,

Hi! My name is Cari Jennings, and I am a Delta Beta Sigma Pledge. I go to Oakland High School in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, where I am in Chamber Choir, President of the sophomore class, and a participant in many other clubs and activities. I attend Belle Aire Baptist church, where I am on the leadership team in my youth group. I also work as an intern there after school. I am so excited about being a part of Delta Beta Sigma! I love this group of girls, and am so honored to be chosen for such an opportunity! Rush Night and Rush Week were tons of fun, and I can’t wait to participate in more activities and charity work in the future. I’m sure that these will be some of the best years of my life, and I know that Delta Beta Sigma will be a big part of that! Thanks for all you do!

Love in DBS,
Cari

i think maybe i should beaten severly with a rock. ha. well, formal better be the highlight of my life, because if it's not, i think maybe i will have to die. i'm still not completely sure who should take with me, if anyone would ever go with me, that is. any suggestions? if you have some, please let me know, cause i can't really think of anyone. i had a dream that me and jared were dating, and he got hit by a semi. i think that dream was the combination of watching Final Destination and seeing him at the game last night. hardy har. tomorrow is my member/sponsor test, so i guess i better study up...seizure later. love in DBS--kidding....--cari

song du jour -- Follow Through by Gavin DeGraw

*this week has been so hectick... tonight i pretty much come to the end of all this preperation... i leave tomorrow after church to go to Alabama... and from there we head of to Pensacola Christian... i'm filled w/ mixed emotions. i'm not sure what i feel.

*the past few days have been filled w/ final goodbyes... tears... and hugs. today Amber gave me a note that made my day.... i mean... we're talking the kind of note that you hide in your pillow case and take out and read until it falls apart. the kind that makes you happy and sad all at the same time. i'm going to miss that girl... and everybody else too. you each mean soo much to me. and since this may be my last post for a while... everyone have a great semester... be good... wear your seatbelts... and stay close to Jesus. (He leads the way :) I LOVE YOU ALL!!! TAKE CARE!!! ~Hope

"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things; which thou knowest not." -Jeremiah 33:3

if you wish to contact me... email me at HopefulinTN06@yahoo.com (i'll only be checking this address on the weekends from my sister's house... so i'll email you back from my PCC address once i get it)

Hey got a new cell 785-0064

call me

we won!

CONGRATS TO JASON AND CHRISTIE TAYLOR ( jason's phusebox is jabota74) ON THE NEW ADDITION

Laura Rose Taylor
7 lbs. 7 oz.

CONGRATULATE JASON ON THE NEW ADDITION!
Jason's Phusebox

Hello, Thanks for all the comments/remarks. Well this week was pretty random if you ask me. First off we go to school on Monday and the next day we are out of school. I know its cuss the hurricane. But nothing really hit us besides some semi strong wind. And the rest of the week was pretty bland. We didn't have a pep rally cus the stupid election that no one even took time to vote for. And I really don't even remember who had won or lost. anywaz. So then on Friday we had to do the stupid mile run in Gym. And to my surprise I actually came in first. I was like wow! And to beat it you had to beat it in 8 minutes. I did it in 6 minutes and 56 seconds. So go figure. Well then that night I met up with my partner in crime Drew Nickdao to go tp the Blackman versus Riverdale game. Then Drew and I met up with Lindsay and Myriah. o and there followers Will and Jeremy. They were really awesome. I made new friends! So we all hung out not really watching the game at all. O and in case any of you are wondering the score. Blackman almost won! I mean we only lost by 63. Yeh Riverdale kicked ourbutts badly. But who cares at least I had a good time. So then Drew and I left. And we went to his house and I got to spend the night! We played Xbox live on Halo 2 for a while. Talk about fun! Well I hope all of you have a great three day weekend. So peace.



-Tanner

Ha ha...the Oakland shirts said...

"Did you see that trash?...DANG!!!"

Does that mean Oakland got beat by trash?

Well...SIEGEL WON!!!!...lol

well im trying to emphasize the point that i have no life now that school has started!...im pretty much a living breathing study-o-holic...all i do is read history and do papers..but i suppose thats why junior year is supposed to be so hard, and maybe.. im a exaggerating, but still it is so different...

i went to Ems house and watched Sahara last night.. it was so so good. Matthew McConaughey is BEAutiful.. i also ran into to rachel myers at target...i like target. i got a skin for my ipod..and an icee..what more could i want?...heh...well i love you guys..

ps. keep in your prayers - Luke from paint the town he lives in Biloxi and i havent heard from him...hopefully he wasnt caught in the hurricane.
love-kels

So I guess we aren't garbage anymore. It's rediculous to me how immature oaklands students are. We were marching out to the stadium, and a bunch of the students started honking their horns at us. Seriously, we never rub it in their faces that our band is better than theirs. In fact, we go out of our way not to. But they are always bringing it up. Its ok though, because we stood tall and it payed off in the end.

So if you havent heard a billion times by now, we won last night. 20-14. I was so proud.

Then on the bus we all sang Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs. Thats always been on of my favorite things about competitions. And now that our team is winning, i guess that will be one of my favorite things about football games too. Caitlin, Brittany, and Myself also sang "Hollaback Girl" and "Whiskey Lullaby". Good times.

There was a minor snag in my night. But I'm good now. Thank you again. I will probably wear out that thank you, but I mean it. Just the fact that you cared enough to come to my house and drive to the mall just to buy me a cookie and make me feel better, was really cool. And I promise you i will give this a valiant effort. Unless of course, this hinders (sp?) your happiness. Because as you said yourself, my friends happiness is more important than some boy.

Anyway, I'm going to go do homework! SCORE! kidding

Quote from last night:
Me and Brittany at the top of our lungs:
"WHOS YOUR DADDY????? THATS HOW YOU PLAY FOOTBALL!!! WHOS GARBAGE NOW? WHOS YOUR DADDDDDYYYY?!?!?!?!?!"

we're just awesome that way.

Happy Day for Labor....

hehe..got this from jess, havent done one in a long time!
[ ] I am bisexual

[ ] I am homosexual

[ ] I've run away from home

[??? I listen to political music

[ ] I collect comic books

[yes, unfortunately ] I shut others out when I'm sad

[strangers, sometimes. Very few people, usually] open up to others easily

[possibly…] keeping a secret from the world

[usually some form] I watch the news

[mmhmm ] I own over 5 rap CDs

[Proud owner ] I own an ipod.

[ nope] I own something from Hot topic

[Aladdin and the lion king rock] I love Disney movies.

[yes…] I am a sucker for eyes

[ ] I don't kill bugs

[ ] I curse regularly.

[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.

[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.

[never had it] I love Spam (as the food)

[cookies, sometimes] I bake well

[I don’t think so] I would wear pajamas to school.

[yep, shorts and a few shirts] I own something from Abercrombie

[yes, except for winter] I have a job

[ ] I love Martha Stewart.

[I hate this typing] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS...

[sometimes] I am self conscious

[often!] I like to laugh.

[ ] I smoke a pack a day.

[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice.

[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.

[ ] I can't swallow pills.

[only a couple] I have many scars

[nope L] I've been out of this country

[ ] I believe in ghosts.

[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room

[rarely…but sometimes] I am really ticklish.

[amazing…and with peanut butter? mmmmmmm] I love chocolate

[ ] I bite my nails

[yep ] I am comfortable with being me.

[ sometimes] I play computer games/video games when I'm bored

[coming out of the subway once in NYC, it took me some time to find my direction ] Gotten lost in the city

[yes, it was neat] Saw a shooting star.

[only minor ] I had a serious Surgery.

[yep I have ] Gone out in public in your pajamas

[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

[ yes] Hugged a stranger

[only in the movies-with brian] been in a fist fight with the same sex.

[ ] Been arrested.

[I think maybe in elementary school]Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose.

[mmhmm J ]Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.

[nope, but it is quite…interesting] Made out in an elevator.

[ ] Swore at your parents.

[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts...

[ ] Been skydiving

[ ] Been bungee jumping.

[middle toe on my right foot ] Broken a bone.

[no, but it might be fun] Played spin the bottle.

[nope ] Gotten stitches

[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.

[ ] Bitten someone.

[what a cool thing….but no ] Been to Niagara Falls.

[in kindergarden] Gotten the chicken pox.

[had a car crash into me L] Crashed into a car

[ ] Been to Japan

[yep…I

Ahh..

We did the whole sneak attack on Oakland last night.XD...it even surprised us,if you catch my drift.ahah..

But..yea.Siegel beat Oakland.

Let it go down in history.

That's what you get for being such jerks to us last night.

Siegel Gaytion..wow..that's soo lame.We don't make fun of you guys now do we?NOO...


..sorry..wee bit of school rivalry.hehe.
I LOVE YOU GUYS STILL!=D

So, I put together an official soundtrack to my life today. Up until now, this list has only existed in my head. Each song of this list represents some event in my life or has a memory attached to it. I can listen tto the entire list and go from when I was about in 5th grade to present day...

iTunes link to my Life Soundtrack iMix Part 1

iTunes link to my Life Soundtrack iMix Part 2

i copied this list from my iMixes on iTunes so some songs have been left out that are not available on iTunes... i.e. andy davis.

Song Name        Artist

Jesus Is Just Alright        DC Talk
The Hardway        DC Talk
Big House        Audio Adrenaline
Never Gonna Be As Big As Jesus        Audio Adrenaline
Hey Jealousy        Gin Blossoms
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)        Green Day
End of the Road        Boyz II Men
Ironic        Alanis Morissette
Always Be My Baby        Mariah Carey
Free Fallin'        Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Hold My Hand        Hootie & The Blowfish
Let Her Cry        Hootie & The Blowfish
Jesus Freak        DC Talk
In the Light        DC Talk
Some Kind of Zombie        Audio Adrenaline
I Believe I Can Fly        R. Kelly
How Bizarre (Mix)        OMC
Brick        Ben Folds Five
I Hope You Dance        Lee Ann Womack
Name        The Goo Goo Dolls
Slide        The Goo Goo Dolls
Lightning Crashes        Live
Desperately Wanting        Better Than Ezra
Semi-Charmed Life        Third Eye Blind
Save Tonight        Eagle-Eye Cherry
Tubthumping        Chumbawamba
Californication        Red Hot Chili Peppers
Otherside        Red Hot Chili Peppers
Scar Tissue        Red Hot Chili Peppers
Under the Bridge        Red Hot Chili Peppers
Learn to Fly        Foo Fighters
Hangin' Around        Counting Crows
Iris        The Goo Goo Dolls
Last Kiss        Pearl Jam
Everything You Want        Vertical Horizon
Pardon Me        Incubus
Shimmer        Fuel
Black Balloon        The Goo Goo Dolls
If You're Gone        Matchbox Twenty
Broadway        The Goo Goo Dolls
Crazy for This Girl        Evan & Jaron
Here Is Gone        The Goo Goo Dolls
Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)        Blessid Union of Souls
December        Collective Soul
One Headlight        The Wallflowers
Lullaby        Shawn Mullins
(Everything I Do) I Do It for You        Bryan Adams
Real World        Matchbox Twenty
If I Am        Nine Days
Bittersweet Symphony        The Verve
Hanging By a Moment        Lifehouse
So Blue        Downhere
Calmer of the Storm        Downhere
Wherever You Will Go        The Calling
Could It Be Any Harder        The Calling
Stigmatized        The Calling
Sadie Hawkins Dance        Relient K
Dare You to Move        Switchfoot
On Fire        Switchfoot
You        Switchfoot
Learning to Breathe        Switchfoot
Screaming Infidelities        Dashboard Confessional
Why Georgia        John Mayer
My Stupid Mouth        John Mayer
Comfortable        John Mayer
Mayberry        Rascal Flatts
These Days        Rascal Flatts
Complicated        Avril Lavigne
In Love With the 80's (Pink Tux To the Prom)        Relient K
I Am Understood?        Relient K
Into the Dark        The Juliana Theory
You Always Say Goodnight, Goodnight        The Juliana Theory
With or Without You        U2
Ever So Sweet        The Early November
You and I Both        Jason Mraz
This Is Love        Cool Hand Luke
Hands Down        Dashboard Confessional
Embers and Envelopes        Mae
Space        Something Corporate
Down        Something Corporate
(Hurricane) The Formal Weather Pattern        Something Corporate
Grace Like Rain        Todd Agnew
Ocean Avenue        Yellowcard
Believe        Yellowcard
Red Meets Blue        Matt Wertz
Lucky        Hoobastank
The Reason        Hoobastank
Times Like These        Jack Johnson
Yearn        Shane & Shane
Beauty for Ashes        Shane & Shane
Remember When        Alan Jackson
Forget December        Something Corporate
Collide        Howie Day
Bless the Broken Road        Rascal Flatts
I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You        Colin Hay
Obstacle 1        Interpol
NYC        Interpol
Such Great Heights        The Postal Service
Such Great Heights        Iron & Wine
New Slang        The Shins
Do You Believe Me?        The Juliana Theory
Deliver Me        David Crowder Band
The One I'm Waiting For        Relient K
When I Go Down        Relient K
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing        Jack Johnson
God Will Lift Up Your Head        Jars of Clay
My Sundown        Jimmy Eat World
Nashville        David Mead
What If        Coldplay
Speed of Sound        Coldplay
Trainwreck        Mat Kearney
Orange Sky        Alexi Murdoch
Best of You        Foo Fighters
Marvelous Light        Charlie Hall
Move Along        The All-American Rejects
Bruised        Jack's Mannequin

You should make your own soundtrack list...

Hey everyone. Well I'm home untill Monday afternoon.
I hope everyone has a fantabulous memorial weekend! :)

Love in Christ, Kaylei

Well we lost!

What did the Oakland shirts say? Congrats to SHS!

hey guys, this is Maribeth! I decided to make Danielle one.. since i made one. =) haha but yeah.. just leaver her some love!

ohhhhh & we beat OHS last night!
GO SIEGEL STARS!

just got back from the game. it was cool, but it was burnin hot. (figure that one out).

goin home here soon. i got a head ache so i'm goin to wait awhile before i leave. i got home work, so i'm goin to head back up here early on monday.

i'm kinda sunburned from the game, but thats ok.

me and whitney were goin to go swing dancin at this club last night, but when we got there, it turned out that the web site wasnt up dated and they didnt do swing dancin anymore and it was salsa dancin. so we were one of like 10 white people there, the rest were hispanic, but we didnt feel out of place. not that we know how to salsa dance, but we did our best. i have to say, it was alot of fun. the other white people there were from UT also and it turned out that it was a group from the BCM (baptist collegiate ministry) here on campus. so that was cool. we made some new friends.

piece

I GOT A CAR!!!



photo from SingAHappySong

Goodness, I'm nearly nineteen, and I never thought I'd see the day... happy early birthday to me! So yes, no more bumming rides, because Amy finally has her own wheels... a '99 green Honda Civic.

In other news, I want to do something tonight. Other than eating dinner with my family, I have no plans. If you're bored, give me a call, and we'll hang.

going the entire day on 4 hrs of sleep.... is actually not that bad.... Im afraid that I am going to get into the habit of not sleeping....like Greenway, not sleep for about 2 days then sleep an entire day away.


amor!


cz

photo from blizAke

I have my own space...finally! Its a far cry fom my own room...but I really like it!

hey this is way cooler than xanga..everyone is right...

im trying to figure this all out.

wen to the riverdale blackman game yesterday to see former McFaddeners. Fun stuff im tellin you.

idk if you leave comments on here or what...i need a lil help

alexanna

As I sit down to type this, I feel burdened. But burdened isn't quite the right word. What do I feel?

It's been rough for my grandpa, grandma, and my mom, and for all of us. Last week Grandpa went in for another surgery because they thought that he had a tear in his diaphragm. This was especially important to fix quickly as the diaphragm is the muscle that helps in breathing, as well as separates the organs in your upper body from the organs in your lower body. At first they used this small scope to see if they could find the tear and fix it without cutting him open. Of course, this failed, and they had to make a large incision for the surgery. What they discovered is that there wasn't actually a tear in his diaphragm, but that my grandpa is one of those people who have a thinly stretched diaphragm that makes it appear that he had a possible tear. So they did all of that just to fix something that wasn't actually there. On top of all that, the surgeons ruptured his spleen during the surgery, so they had to remove it to prevent him from bleeding internally. They moved him back up to the trauma unit for recovery.

Earlier in the week he had a fever and trouble breathing, and he went in for surgery again Friday. This time he had adhesions on his lung that was making his lung stick to his chest cavity, which interfered with breathing. Praise God that surgery went okay. Grandpa's still pretty out of it, though. He's on a ventilator and he still has the chest tube in him. He goes in for another surgery Wednesday the 7th for his leg. He’s going to be okay.

It's just been a dog fight, guys. My grandma is going through emotionally what my grandpa is physically, and my mom's doing everything in her power to help them out. Please continue to lift us up in prayer, guys.

I'm so messed up right now guys. But it's not just because of what my family is going through. I keep on screwing up with God. I specifically ask for His help and guidance with certain things, but when the time comes for me to accept His help and guidance, I purposefully reject it. This seems to be an endless cycle. I feel like everything I say to Christ has been said before by me, and is therefore hollow and pointless. I don't know what I feel. I'm not special, guys. I'm just me. I'm no different than any other child of God when it comes right down to it. I'm not depressed, I'm just stating the truth. To desire to be something in someone else's eyes, that's selfishness, isn't it? To desire to be noticed by other people, or to want other people to always hang out with you, that's greed, isn't it?

I don't feel...what? What don't I feel? What do I feel?

What do I need? Encouragement? Since when have I ever known what I really needed?
Do I need Jesus? I have Him, and He has me, but what good does that do if I don't listen to Him? What good does it do me if I ask for His help and then reject it when it He offers it?

I'm on the verge of tears. Why?

I don't doubt God or His mercy or love for me. I know He loves me. But that's just the problem: me.

Why is everything about me so unclear now?

I'm lonely for my family in Christ, for my brothers and sisters in Him.

I'm going to the hospital Sunday. I most likely won't be at Church.

Charles and I got a great little video of our dog and cat playing together. The video is from our digital camera, and the movie is a quicktime .mov file. Is there a way that we can get a still shot from it? Like if we pause the movie in a certain spot, can we get a capture? I am new to Quicktime, but I figure SOMEONE here would know. *ahem NATHAN ahem* :)
thanks!

i broke my 2 month record...i am so sorry everyone..i know no one reads this...so thats why i put that..its just that everythings going on now, and its hell.....
I hate it
I am alone
I am alone in this world of mine
that i have created...
Everyone visits...
But no one stays but me..
The sign says "vacancy"
But there is no more room..
Until i meet that supposid
One person..
who will change my life....
forever...............
but for now..
Solitude

GUESS WHAT-

my T_blazzza IS FIXED! heck yes.

its good to be home. i guess. heh... well- not really "being home" but the fact that i'll get to see atleast nina in the process. :) babysat last night and then again tonight...

im tired-doing laundry-updating you on my life-and doing h.w.
woopwoop.
-mal

yeh... so im hangin out with jessica right now
im basically fet up with lindsay...
she walks all over me to much
im not gonna deal with her anymore
she can live her life
ill live mine
without eachother
i think it will greatly lower my stress level
but yeh

anywhoo

u like the background... font color... and font type
yeh
u want it dont u
well no
u cant have it
hehe
(paul.. ur an HTML master... hehe)
yeh
paul stayed at my house...
we stayed up til 3
we WERE gonna get up at 10...
but noooooooo
my mom wanted me to help move her new living room set.... so i had to get up at 7
ugh ...
well yeh
we got done
at 11 somethin jess picked up
im at her house now
shes one cool chick
:)
so yeh
thats all... ill talk more later... tonight
yeh

(p.s. the pic on my background... its my kitty midnight as a kitten... yeh it rocks my socks off... and my pants)

it is on its way to my house. finally.

so I called Cingular again today, b/c I soooo convientiently dropped my phone in the pool.

well this time, I talked to a man.

HE told me that there is actually a one year warrenty on the phone, not just 30 days. So this guy said "let me transfer you to the return by mail department, and here is the number in case you get disconnected" he proceeds to give me a number for that department. a number that I'd been given like 2 days before, I informed the man of this. I told him that I was transferred to that department a few days before, was hung up on, had to dial that number, was transfered to another department, had to wait in a queue line and then told I was gonna get called back when I had the opportunity to talk to a manager. needless to say I was never called back. After I spilled this story to this man, he was like. . .hold on a second, let me get a form. He got a form, filled it out, and I'm getting a new phone for free on Wednesday.

ha! cingular, eat my face!

riverdale freshman baseball
i think i like a baseball playa. =]
mmm this could turn out weird.


RiVERDALE FOOTBALL...
we beat Blackman. haha baddd
63-0..
we are still champions
and there not. haha!

peace && love

1) siegel won against oakland....20 to 14....freaking amazing.

2) I gave up. But I'm ok, don't worry : )

This is for everybody on the internet, and specifically Laura, because she replied to the first proclamation. Taylor remains adamant that no nickname is necessary...so I say we just call him Tater until he comes up with a better nickname. As this action will no doubt erode the bedrock of his masculinity and ego, rendering him annoyed or even mightily angered, be forewarned...he works out.

Thank You,

Management

P.S. We out here in the boonies are severely happy that you got good news yesterday, Laurabee.

P.S.S. Call Taylor Tater.

Okay....so I don't think I am going to use this anymore. I still like xanga better... I will just use this to leave remarks or comments or w.e. you wanna call them.

If ya wanna find out about my life, go to www.xanga.com/redheadgirl08

Bye bye!

update

LOVE college and all the cool people that i've met. i have really appreciated everyone and how nice they all have been. ao was AMAZING wednesday night and i really got into the worship. i have been praying to find some good christian music that i like and the Lord has totally been providing. i went to the echosflow concert wed night and then on thurs. i went to see ryan horne.

i am gonna tell you what i don't like...i DON'T like hearing a dave matthews band song about what a pig bush is and how the believers just stand behind him and smile. i think as christians we get judged most of all. there are so many assumptions about us that are just not true. but i can say that the Lord didn't promise us EASY, he promised us GRACE. that is what i am doing this all for, for Him and Him alone.

went to hodge's house last night and i can say that is was a good time. met alot of new people and got to catch up with some people i hadn't talked to in awhile.

i hope EVERYONE has a WONDERFUL day and full of AMAZING suprises. haha.

OAKLAND WHO???

didn't throw my tuck at the pep ralley
but kate did
& i did like round-off 10 backhandsprings
most i had ever done in my life i was pretty happy

at the game i wore shea swain's number on my face
his mother hugged me at the end of the game & ask me if it was his number....i was like yes mrs. swain it is

but i had a really great time even though i didn't get to sit up in the stands it was still fun

& i want to change my background but i don't know how...nathen/stephen/someone can you helps me?!!?!?!?!?!?

siegel is still garbage!!!!!!!!!!

quick update from last time - my great-grandmother is still holding on - barely though. my mom told me this morning that her eyes have glazed over - there's no color in them whatsoever - no pupil or anything. i think that might be the creepiest thing i have ever heard. so this weekend may be tough - keep my family in your prayers please!
and as far as prayers go you can add me to that list as well. i don't know what the deal is but i am having the hardest time lately. it is so frustrating. i know that the devil knows my weakest points - and, gosh darnit, if he hasn't hit me the hardest in those areas right now... it's awful. i don't usually ask for encouragement, but if you've got something right now i'd be okay with that. i feel so lost, lonely, unwanted... and i know it's satan. i know it is. i keep getting ahold of that for a little bit, but then i just lose it again. i need to conquer it. but i'm not there yet. it's a completely selfish thing. i know that. and i hate it. but i can't get on top of it.
life is not all bad, though. don't get my wrong. some really awesome things are happening - as always. that just seems to lurk in the back of my mind... and perhaps over my heart... and comes out frequently. for now i have laundry to do. and homework. and i'd like to get my room put together. and it's free weekends, maybe i need to make a few phone calls home... and to OKC of course. and florida. why are my friends so far away??

Well I dont really know how to work this thing yet ... but I'll figure it out!!!

That should fix the problems with the friend digest thing, let me know if you're still getting my background. If it worked I'll get anotherlostsong to do the same.

I'm working on the background and the colors for the text, so don't judge my page yet... I'll let you know when it's done.

---

I bee-bop the Jive Yo!!!

that's all i have to say-- SIEGEL NATION clap clap clap clap clap!

we won
haha

Hey, everyone! so Kaleena came over yesterday and we had fun! I love her so much! ^^ hopefully she'll be coming to Siegel soon ^^

"outside, day starts to dawn..."- Miss Saigon

"the girl that walks in the moonlight doesn't notice the shooting stars until she looks up." - me

Well it is Labor day weekend, My birthday is on Tuesday, and My grandparents do something for me every year. So i am going home, it will get me away from a lot of the crap i am going through here, and i think that i need to some time for my self. I will be coming back for church tho, no place like home and Bell Aire Baptist Church is about to become my home. So i guess i catch you up later.

Au Revoir

I wish I could be more giddy about Siegel winning ((I didn't even stay the entire time; I left before it got way exciting)), but I can't.

My dog is dying. She's really sick; apparently she has been for a little while, but none of us knew. I yelled at her the worst I ever have several days ago because she jumped in my car while it was raining and wouldn't get out. She kept acting really strange and it only annoyed me even more. I never thought she was doing it because she was sick.

She followed my brother home May 1993. We put signs up for a found dog, and only one responded. When my dad and brother took Quincy to the house to give her back, it wound up not being the right dog, so we wound up keeping her. Jeff said he remembered seeing her ((before we got her)) being somewhat abused by her previous owner. I guess he didn't want her back. Maybe us keeping her prolonged her life.

I went outside after I got home last night to talk to her. She was wrapped in a blanket with uneaten food in front of her. She hardly moved. This was enough to tear me to pieces as I told her I was sorry for yelling at her and that I loved her. It's all I could say. . .

Twelve years, guys. It was a month before my 7th birthday when we got her.

Twelve years.

2/3 of my life.

I've been crying off and on since last night, and it's a completely different cry and feel than anything/one else I've ever lost. My tears are huge, almost like those of children.

They're not kidding when they says dogs are "man's" best friend.

Long story short...

Thursday, I moved into my new abode. Seven hours later, I moved out. The landlord demanded that I get a cosigner. I refused. Also, the rental agreement wasn't up to par and he wouldn't budge on it.
So, I'm looking for yet another place to live. I may have found an apartment, but I've got to make a few phone calls first. We'll see.

I thought things would settle down a bit when school started, but that hasn't happened yet.

Ok... I'm working on the background thing, but now I'm tired and have to go to bed...
night

---

I bee-bop the Jive Yo!!!

I know this is cheezy, and everybody does this, but here it goes.
This is my fist post if phusebox.

---

I bee-bop the Jive Yo!!!

Well that's pretty much the end of OHS talking smack about SGH. Except of course, for the petty rednecks who can't accept that our rival school is, in fact, capable of winning a varsity football game.

OHS vs. SGH: 18-14, Siegel

Did I remember that score right? Or did Siegel score again? *shrug*

That's exactly why Mr. Tackett has been telling all of OHS ever since the stupid "Siegel's Garbage" thing got started that they need to focus on the positve points of Oakland, not the negative points of our opponents. Since all OHS had to say to SGH tonight is "Siegel's Garbage," they can't say anything after losing to them.

Ahh... stupid hillbillies. God help me, I love some of them.

Both teams played hard and it payed off [finally] for SGH. Both bands played very well. The Oakland band is so tiny and quiet! However, they are very good for their size and volume.

Congrats to Seigel!

Now... after seeing band kids from 3 of the 4 high schools in Murfreesboro and hanging at Steak 'n' Shake for two and a half hours, I am ready for bed.

Theres a white flag
Wavin where my colors used to fly
You win
Theres a white flag
I'm givin up and givin all of me, I give in
I'm Yours to reign and to rule, I'm just a fool with a white flag

Jesus I'm giving it all up to You. My life is now completly in Your hands. Mold me into what You want me to be!!!

"Life isn't always what you want, but it's what you've got, so stick a flower in your hat and be happy!" --from a friend



God Bless- long conversations that last till all hours of the night/morning

-and fluffy bunnies

-and the feeling of knowing someone cares

-and you

(this is something new, every update I will add new things, feel free to add as well)

Hey people,

O.K. Here's the thing. This is my "What I want in a Guy" list. How did I come up with this list you might ask. Well, one night at a Bible Study we got a piece of paper with 8 blank's on it. They gave us 5 minutes to think of 8 qualities we would like for our future spouse. Well, needless to say…within 5 minutes I had 23 qualities, and have added a few since then. I get these from what I see in other people I like or don't like, my friends relationships, and past relationships of mine (all 3 of them...kinda...). Remember, these are qualities I would LIKE to have, not that I am holding out for the guy that can fulfill ALL of them, though that would be nice. I understand that we are all human and nobody's perfect, but someone that fit part of the list would be nice. Anyway, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or just want to add to my list or leave one of your own, please feel free to do so!!

1. Godly and growing daily

2. Someone I can pray and discuss with

3. Sense of humor, makes me laugh and smile

4. Someone that respects me and that I can respect

5. Gives me space and privacy when I need it

6. Gentleman

7. Trustworthy and that trust's me

8. Faithful

9. Sexually pure (I would hope that he would save himself for me as I am saving myself for him; but I do understand that nobody's perfect and that anyone can become pure again in God's eye's)

10. Responsible

11. Has goals

12. Loves his family

13. Adventurous

14. Wants a family

15. Likes to be around people

16. Not quiet and shy, but not hyper all the time

17. Not cocky or stuck on himself

18. Healthy (I am not saying I want a guy that is all muscle, but not letting himself go and cares about his body, which is a temple)

19. Takes time out for him and takes care of himself

20. Pays attention to and takes care of me (remember, I am a BIG romantic)

21. Compassionate

22. Doesn't expect me to or want me to do everything for him

23. Will help with things around the house

24. Love's kids

25. Love's animals

26. WANTS to take care of me and doesn't feel it is his obligation

27. Love's me for me (I won't try to change you if you don't try to change me)

28. Will deal with me on a daily basis (my high's and my low's; I am almost always in a good mood)

29. Spontaneous

30. Outgoing

31. Loves to smile

32. Honest

33. Musically inclined in some way

34. Not afraid to show and share emotion.

35. Will hold my hand in public

36. Give's me butterfly's, and I hope I do the same for him

37. We can sit in silence and it not be awkward



Remember these things: I may not be the prettiest girl in the world, but please compliment me every once in a while; talk to me; show me you care; and whatever you do....mean it!!! Don't do it because it is what I want you to do, but because you want to...to see me smile.

What a fun time right now at the base!
All the staff, new and old, are showing up in little spurts every day. And others who are wanting to come back but are standing at a place of faith right now due to finances, visas, etc. Coming home to Nina, Lisa, and Grace cuddled up on our couch. Running into Anita's house, squealing as I hug Kelsey so tight. Jumping into Alex's arms when he showed up tonight. Writing Katie encouragement as she is waiting on her visa. Counting down the days with Chris until he is here. Talking about what God can accomplish in New York and getting excited feeding off of everyone's faith.
It is amazing to me that less than one year ago, I didn't know any of these friends. And more amazing to me that they are all in my life now.
We had our first urban meeting since we've all returned from vacation and listening to ideas and projects spill out was exciting.
It is going to be a great fall.

GrEaT nIgHt!!!
omg i just lOvEd it!!! It was FaNtAsTiC..pretty sure we beat BlAcKmAn 63-0 wow! lol..umm all i can say is Go WoRrIoRs!!! lOl..well umm oo i got to meet someone tonight..hah TaNnEr n DrEw..hehe lOl..there really cool n sweet...but yeah well guess thats all hope you kids had fun! hehe t2yl bye bye

You would think that by your senior year something would actually go right! I guess we've officially lost everything to them: our people, our 'pride' as their sign said, and any hope that we ever had in being better. What a disappointing night. Oh well, as Ben had to tell me tonight after the game, we've always got district! And this time it will be FULL FORCE! Wanted to wear my Siegel's Garbage shirt under my uniform so bad but didn't. I'll just have to wear it somewhere else I guess.

you can call me a goody goody all you want...but tonight i got invited to a FRAT PARTY and i didnt go!!! im sorry that isnt my style and i dont drink soo i didnt go!!! ya know i thought my true friends would understand y i dont go but i guess they just like to talk behind my back!!!

Love Through Christ!
~Rachel~

just g0t 0n3 0f th3s3 b/c i was 3xtra b0r3d but i pr0lly w0nt writ3 much !
♥BriTtaNy

Well you all... the impossible was accomplished tonight. We beat Oakland... yes 20-14!! it was the most amazing game i've ever experienced in my lifetime. Well of course besides our wonderful basketball team:-) i hope everyone had a great night!! have a good 3 day weekend!

yes thats right SIEGEL BEAT OAKLAND!!!!! so oaklands lovely shirts are WRONG!!!!!!!! SIEGEL BEAT OAKLAND!!!!! 20 to 14!!!!!!!! yes go us!