So I'm at work...and really, really bored!  I mean it's ridiculous how bored I am.  I'm glad I finally got the internet but my AIM and MSN keeps going out, so that's really frustrating.  But at least it is something to do.  That's better than not having internet at all.  Although, not no one is on to talk to.  Geez, it just never works correctly does it?  I am famished right now too.  I don't want to leave because then the table is unattended and I don't really want to spend the money to eat...so there really isn't an alternative.  I don't know what I'm gonna do.  Actually, I do have princess fruit snacks which will hopefully be delightful.  SO maybe that will curb some of the hunger.  If not, guess I'll just starve till I get to the bookstore and can buy something to eat.  Yum!

It was really surreal driving back to wrk this morning. I felt like I had the whole day to myself and I had to stop making cool plans, so that I could get to work. Bummer. Who am I kidding anyway?...I was getting really tired of sitting at home by myself.

Happy New Year!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to school we go.

So my teacher aid started out nicely. I think she said,"I really hope you didn't think this was a study hall because I really need a teacher's aid" Great.

www.myspace.com/kellyskye

its "private" so add me first them comment my new years pictures!! k!! thanks! <3

Ok, so I know most younglings had to go back to school today, but me, being a cool (ok, maybe not cool, but at least older) college student don't have to go back till next Monday.  (Yeah, I don't even want to hear about it MTSU students :) )  So, how has your break been so far?  Mine's been pretty good!  I so needed a break.  I'm not really ready to go back.  I mean, not only is it a return to school, but it's a return to my last semester of undergraduate college.  I have no idea what I'm doing after graduation.  No clue.  And that scares me. 

Anyway, as I was saying, I've had a pretty good break.  I've been able to hang out with friends, see lots of movies with my fam (we like doing that), read, procrastinate on my grad school applications, and play with my new ipod.  And break is not over yet!  I'm visiting Rose-Hulman (in Indiana) tomorrow and Thursday, and one of my best friends is getting married on Saturday!  Man, that is weird. 

Yeah, so I've been having fun.  What have you been up to?  Whatever it is, it can't have been as exciting as rearranging the pantry with my mom yesterday!  :)

"If you were as tall as a cloud you'd be a rainbow"

- Courtney Kelley

...................thirteen!!!!!!!!!!!!

anybody else excited yet??

is it wrong that i will take tons of pain for someone and still look at it as I want to help them so much that it's all worth it?
  If someone means something to you, I feel you can not give up.
Someone's struggling, just saying you're there i don't think is enough
And I don't like people denying help, when those that care come of the woodwork.  They come out and they try and save you from defeating yourself. 
I've seen so many people try time and time again to fix their own problems, including me, and have nothing to show for it.
I don't like how people change.. I know it happens, but i don't have to like it. 
Also it hurts most when someone once says that you're one reason that they stop doing something, then change into someone that seems like they don't want your caring...
why do people do this!?  i just wanna know.. really.. i just want to... then i'll be satisfied...

i'm starting to wonder when i'm going to catch a break in this game.

piece

Hmm.. haven't updated in a long time.






How was your christmas and new years?

Mine was pretty good.
















Upon request from Lee, I must write about them dirty peanuts in the bar.










Peanuts in bars are very dirty. Don't eat them.

NEW YEARS EVE WAS CRAZY!!! I HOPE EVERYONE ELSE HAD AS MUCH FUN AS I DID!!!

the love of my friggin life..

ok y'all..me and this guy from blackman..joshua walton...idk he just completes me....we fight alot not like ALL THE TIME but twice a week and it scares me..cause yeah...he is my 1ST relationship i know can work..soo yeah...its scary..buut i deal with it and i love him..soooo much

i love you josh

Yeah.  So I've been doing well so far.  How is everyone else?  My grandparents have been happily married for 56 years and that is amazing.  I can't wait to have a great marriage like that.  I realize that there will be bumps and things but with God's help and with the help of the Holy Spirit, I know that I will have a great marriage.  So enough of that mushy stuff.  I seem to be good at spending money and I'm just about ready to get a job.  It sucks when your money doesn't replenish itself.  What do you guys think?

Do you ever make yourself promises that you really know you should keep or later find were stupid or discover that you should break them? I'm not talking about New Years Resolutions, I mean promises that you make over the course of the years that just come to you. Well I do. I've made several lately.

1. I promised myself that I would not let my heart get broken. (Broke that one within a week and a half)
2. I promised myself that no one was going to get close enough to hurt me. (Broke that one when I met a certain guy, who shall remain nameless. He didn't hurt me.)
3. I promised myself I would stop thinking so much and feel more. (Break it ever time he crosses my mind. I get stupid thoughts a lot)
4. I promised myself I would not get so caught up in what bad could happen that I chicken out of things. (Break it a lot.)
5. I promised myself I would work this matter of the heart out one way or another and that I would tell him how I feel. (Working on keeping it.)
6. I promised myself that I would not lose him without a fight. (Trying desperately to keep it.)

Alright so I am new to the whole Phusebox thing I have heard alot of good things and I figured it was time to jump on board.......well ummm yea I don't have anything to say right now sorry my life is very boring

Just when I allow myself to get really excited about something. . . and now it might not even happen. . . hurting gets really old. Sometimes I wonder if I'll run out of tears one day. . .

Well I am starting work tomorrow.  Yay...trying to make some money for Poland.  I'm hoping to get the whole $1200 so I don't have to pay it myself.  I have to leave tomorrow by 7:30 a.m.  Not looking forward to that.  That does not sound like fun.  I've been getting up around noon.  But making money is more important than that.  So I think I may go to bed.  I'm tired.  Night.

i wanna go ice skating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my skates probably fogot what ice is!!! its sad...i havent been since august

it has nothing to do being in love

it just has everything to do with me and you.

happy new year, everyone.
life is amazingly surprising yet again. but i'm still doing good, and still very happy. he's my everything, i do. i love him.

me getting a job? no way.
weeeeeeell this wednesday will tell all. i can't wait! wish me luck!

i loooooooove you.

So, I just got back from an awesome nite of fun! ^^
I went and saw The Ringer with Elissa, Jackie, and Linda.
THE RINGER IS AN AMAZINGLY AWESOME MOVIE!!! YOU MUST GO SEE IT!
My brother went to see King Kong by himself so after our movie, we (Elissa and I) went to the mall and hung out til we needed to go pick him up. and we had a great time! here's some pics we took:

Elissa and Ernie lol

Ernie and I lol

Elissa and I and Ernie's hat lol

Elissa and some random bear looking at something... lol

RAINBOW COOKIES!!!! *breathes sporadically* lol

Elissa holding a magical purse ^^

 a display at Victoria's Secret
WHO STANDS LIKE THAT????? >.< lol

"If you are afraid of changes
Watch me at a distance
Whether or not I may do something
It makes no difference
Let it be"
-Ayu (alterna)

Is it ever God's will for you to give up?  it could be for the best, or the worst of things.  the world says it is bad to quit.  well what if u have been trying for a freaking year?  and it is draining u to try and go one more inch.  i know times get hard sometime.  but is there ever one time that God is trying to tell u to give up?  that doesnt sound right, but could it be? i dont know, some things just get to me, really bad!!!!!

on top of all that, i couldnt go to the passion tonight, and that made me pretty down.  i was prepared for going, but i wasnt prepared for not being able to go, so that kinda stunk, but o well, nothin new. 

yall know i love u, and i know ur there for me.  God bless each of you. 

Well...another christmas break has ended and it's back to school and lots of stress but at least i won't be hiding in my room all day ( which is what i did a majority of christmas break).Anyways...it was a pretty good break and it's only a few months till summer so it'll be ok. I just need to work really hard because if i want to go to UTC for college i have to get a scholership.It's not even tuesday and i'm already stressing. Well everyone...i hope your first day back at school goes ok.

so does anyone else really not want school to start back?

well guys....i guess it's about that time again...school is back in session for another semester...how grand, right? haha. i'm looking forward to getting back into it....get it through with...then i'm done. woo. the only thing i am NOT looking forward to is this darned memorization passage for english....which i have yet to even look at. blah. oh well.

anyways, i just got a set of surround sound speakers for my laptop and well...they rock. good speakers. makes my gaming a lot more enjoyable...considering i don't have to use headphones anymore. that's all. good day to you all

-KYLE

i think my computer sold his soul to the devil.

but he's getting better . . .

When it comes to a question of our forgiving other people, it is partly the same and partly different. It is the same because, here also, forgiving does not mean excusing. Many people seem to think it does. They think that if you ask them to forgive someone who has cheated or bullied them you are trying to make out that there was really no cheating or no bullying. But if that were so, there would be nothing to forgive. They keep on replying,"But I tell you the man broke the most solemn promise." Exactly: that is precisely what you have to forgive. (This doesn't mean that you must necessarily believe his next promise. It does mean that you must make every effort to kill every taste of resentment in your own heart-every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay him out.) The difference between this situation and the one in which you are asking God's forgiveness is this. In our own case we accept excuses too easily; in other people's we do not accept them easily enough.

-c.s. lewis

---

Something to think about...I sure did look at forgiveness in a whole different light after reading this. GOD IS SO GREAT!

So, it's done. I finally made a decision, and I'm moving tomorrow at 12. Then, I'll have to register for classes. I'm excited, but scared at the same time. I really have to get a job. I hate having downtime. This Christmas break has nearly killed me. I like to keep myself busy, so lately I've just been sleeping a lot. There doesn't seem to be anything to be awake for. I can't wait to actually have something to do. Classes start Thursday! And once I have my new address, I'll apply for jobs. I can't wait! Oh wait, I already said that.

I did have an awesome New Years. Everyone came up to ATL, and we went to Dave and Buster's. I love that place!

I bought an amazing dress with my Christmas money, and heck, I may even have a date to wear it on! I bought a lot of great stuff with my Christmas money. Downside, I have a $117 speeding ticket to pay...oh well. Just another reason I want a job. So I'll have money to buy the things I need, and some things that I want.

Runaway with me...

School tomorrow.
Oh boy....bahhhhhh
New Years went well.
Hung out with Amber, had
BEAUTIFUL weather.
yeah...so that was nice.
I got to go walking and such,
and I've exercised every day
for the past week=)
I was excited.

Nothing big is happening.
so I guess that's about it.

Well I just got back in town from the Campus Life Chicago trip, and I officially have post trip blues haha. It's so weird being in a room all by yourself after sharing a hotel room with 3 other guys for 5 days, and riding home in a van with 10 people for about 10 hours.

On another note, the volunteer small group was awesome. We covered several topics that I have been struggling with for the past semester, and continue too deal with. I am also reading a great book by Rob Bell titled "Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith" and I more than encourage anyone and everyone to read this book. (Rob Bell is an excellent speaker who helps put on the Nooma series of short flims.) This book along with last week's small group have stirred up alot of things in my head.
I do too many things, and sadly my quiet time and school work are the first things to get cut. I need to devote myself to prayer and listen for what I need to cut out of of my life, or swap some priorities in my time to get done what needs to be done...Yet there are still several things that I would love(and need) to devote more of my time too...All of this will come in time, I just need to be still listen and be patient.

Happy New Year eveyone, I hope everyone had a fun and safe time last weekend. Best of luck with everyone going back to school tomorrow, and in the following weeks. Goodluck and God Bless.

-ry

HEY! like no one uses this anymore and its really not cool cuz then no one gets "remarks" or comments!!! ahh!!

but go to my xanga

www.xanga.com/hollywood_dancer

<3LaUrEn elaine*

So yeah, Beth (and her friend), Angela, and myself are going to the movies later to see Fun with Dick and Jane. I'm excited because that movie looks fun. I was hoping we were going to go see King Kong but they don't really want to, so I'll have to find someone else to go see that one with. Oh well.

Thought of the day: It's no fun to be led on only to have what you thought would be there actually not.

new year's was fun....but im really excited about going back to school!!

i miss all of my friends...but here are some pics of break...and parties and such








so, we got a little rowdy...

so that's the end of the first christmas party....here's newyear's






they are usually very pretty girls...


soooo....that's all folks...

I don't think the posting every day thing is going to happen. I sort of lost my motivation for that when this thing got shut down for that brief while.

Life is so weird. I don't know if it's the new year that is so strongly reminding me of the strangeness of life, or just everything that has been going on lately. Either way, I posted on my xanga several minutes ago, and I mentioned school starting back soon. The thought depressed me at first, but now I've decided that I'm happy about it. I've gotten a lot accomplished over the break, but it'll be nice to have responsibilities like class and homework. Mainly just so I won't feel like such a bum. My parents are helping me out with bills since I'm not working right now, and they only do it because I'm in school. So, when we start arguing at a time like this when I am not going to school every day, I feel really bad. Mom and Dad are nuts, and they make me crazy as well, but I do appreciate every thing they do. I don't think they realize how much I appreciate it. That's probably because I never tell them.
Anyways, I'm off to embark on non-cyber adventures now.
Enjoy 2006, people.

"For me, there is nothing more important than making music. And my music speaks on two things: freedom and love."
-Ayu

it only hurts when i breathe...

so ya know what...its 2006!

Just got back from chicago and i must say it was quite fun....im not to thrilled about having to go back to school tomorrow though...  Have a great day!

Alex

yeah so ive got some new pics!! comment them!! =)

mushu and brownie  COMMENT THE NEW PICS PLEASE!! <3

14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moonbeam  <3

I cannot even begin to describe how I feel right now! But, I will try to explain...

See, I am a broke college student (not so much the college student part, but whatever...) and I wanted to go to Passion really bad. Things kept coming up and I was unable to buy a ticket. So, I just asked for one for Christmas. Christmas came...no ticket. *sad face* I was disappointed, but realized God has a reason for everything.

But today, the first day of Passion, my wonderful fiance calls and lets me know they got me a ticket!!! I am so filled with joy right now! I am bursting! I cried and smiled and rushed around to get ready! This is amazing! In just a few short minutes, amy, rachel and nate will be here to pick me up and we will be on our way to Passion!!! *really REALLY happy face*

God is amazing! I don't deserve such a wonderful gift. I cannot wait to experience Him in that place tonight!!!! eeekkkk! I am sooooooooooo excited!!!

whoa.

Just got back from Christmas in New Hampshire. We went ice skating, sledding and all that good stuff, but a twenty hour one way drive is no fun.

As I look over the year I realize that at this time last year I was headed for Washington state with my mother... So many things have happened since then that it seems both like that was forever ago and it also feels like it was yesterday... I spent 7 weeks there with my mom. Then we came home to our family and on march 2 she went home to Christ...

Grief is a strange thing and so many times I feel this twisting pain that hurts more than anything I had ever experienced. And yet I was also thankful that she no longer suffered, because there were many times when she would cry and tell me she wanted to go home, not home to tennessee but home to be with God her Father. I want to thank a few people again for how much they did for me.

Hooper, Chris Morgan, and Randy, faithfully called me every day while I was in Washington you have absolutely no idea how much those calls meant.

Everyone who helped here at my house to keep it running while I was gone, including, Mrs. Candi, Mrs. Danita, Mrs. Donna, and Mrs. Suzanne.

So many things since then were packed into my year. Showing that life doesn't stop. Since then I worked my tail off to finish all my highschool requirements on time, graduated early, competed in national fine arts, did secretarial work for my father, and completed my first semester at MTSU.

It's a strange feeling sometimes because you almost don't want life to go on... people say "life goes on" and sometimes I wanted to start screaming and say that no it shouldn't... so many things have gone wrong and I have messed up in so many different ways. But life does go on and all we can do is remember that God is in control. I have learned to enjoy life in the present no matter what is going on, and I have learned that maybe, maybe sometimes it is ok to cry and think back, but I shouldn't always see that as weakness and beat myself up for it.

God has blessed me... He gave me a wonderful family, he gave me time with my mother, she was more than just a mom, she was like a best friend and my mom, I learned so much from her, and I will see her again. He gave me a Dad with strong faith, brothers and a sister to lean on, and to give me a feeling that I can give to them as well as draw from them.
I have decided that maybe I am a little stubborn as some tell me, and that that is a blessign from God because if I wasn't than I would have givven up on some of this stuff I have been going through as of late. But instead I have gotten through it with persistance, but most of all with the help of my savior, Christ.

And He has also given me the best friends anyone could ever have, friends who cried with me and supported me, who when I was at me weakest points, including that night my mom passed away, have gathered around me and helped me through it all. I love you all. Thank you so much
And thank you that you have all taught me that you can have joy, laugh and be thankful even at times as now when I am sitting here thinking how rediculous I must look sitting crying over a keyboard because I am so grateful. I love you all really you all know who you are. and I am proud to have such caring and wonderful friends.

So you kids who were at drama last night (all four of us, lol).... Don't think too horribly of me for the shoe comment.  Please?  It's not as bad as it sounds.  Looking back it probably wasn't the best tidbit to share, but since it's true I'm not exactly going to deny it happened.  Or something.  It's been bugging me since last night, and  everyone knows that mysterious posts about something only a small fraction of readers understand is the best cure for the soul.

Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

But it was the easiest way for me to address it.  So there!

Wahoo.  Je veux un express.  Deux espresses.  Peut-etre trois.  Trois cent!  *French Laugh*

Brian, your script is amazing.  *Hugs*  Arthur Miller got nothin', especially since he's dead.  (Apologies, Art.)  Although when I found out the brilliant author of The Crucible died, my initial reaction was more along the lines of "You mean he was still alive????"  And then sorrow.  But yeah, whatever.  People die; it's this thing that's been happening for a few years now.  I'm beginning to think that soon celebrities won't be entombed anymore.  They have so much collagen and silicone in 'em that they won't need to be preserved.  Christie's will just auction them off as artefacts for someone to put in the corner to scare intruders.  (Personally, I'd find them as better discipline tools.  "William, don't do that again, or Anna Nicole will come back!"  *Child weeps for fear of implants*)

Now that I've probably disturbed more people than previously thought possible (including myself), I shall proceed to run very quickly somewhere else and make an attempt at being productive.

Ciao!

haPPY neW yeaR!  wow! 2oo6! hope yalls is a good one!

    Okay so most people's holidays are over, its the beginning of a new year and for a lot of people its a huge let down after the hoop-la of the holidays. This is usually how it is for me too but not this year. This year I'm looking forward to my 3rd skiing trip with the Fisher family. We depart for Snowshoe Resort on Sat of this week and I'm SOOOO excited. I have all new gear that belongs to me now which is really cool. We're going with Carey & Duray which should be fun as well. I just have a feeling its going to be a GREAT trip. Anyway in the meantime I've got to work. More Later~ MEW

So I definitely just tried to sit down with my journals and remember what this year was like, but I got tired with that because I wrote a whole lot. So I'll tell y'all what I remember.

January-May: I anxiously awaited graduation and college. I was stressed out often, but I also had a lot of fun. Both proms were great. Other senior activities were great. I was pretty mature, but as I look back, I was pretty darn immature compared to who I am now. (Not to say I'm always mature now, but a semester in college does a lot to a person). I grew closer to people at Riverdale, oddly enough. I loved being on yearbook staff, as crazy as it was at times. In May I finally graduated.

June: Big Stuf was good. A couple weeks later, however, a big dip in the road occured. It was one of the toughest internal struggles I've faced, but it made me a better and stronger person. I really sought God and He taught me a lot.

July: I went to Paint the Town, and it was an amazing experience. I think I was a different person afterwards. God showed me a lot through putting me in uncomfortable situations, painting for long hours, and getting lost in the Bronx at 2 AM.

August: I don't remember anything about it except starting college. I hated my first day of school but enjoyed the second. I began to grow nervous about the new expectations that would be placed on me.

September: I tried to adjust to college life. It wasn't always easy. I met a ton of people in AO and it finally began to feel like home. I instantly fell in love with my J-group.

October: I can't remember specifics, but I guess this was when I began to thrive in school and in friendships.

November: My goodness! The semester is almost over! Where has the time gone? Will I ever make an A on a paper in Dr. Therrien's class? And she's really gotten me to think a lot about my identity and who I am, about thinking for myself and not letting others tell me what to think. I realize that what I am learning in her class and in my Understanding Mass Media class is not just trivial knowledge, but lessons about life. And I decide that is why college is way better than high school.

December: School wraps up, and I'm sad to see some classes go and so happy about the others ending. I realize what I am capapble of when I see that I ended up with an A in Dr. Hardcore Therrien's class and end my first semester with a 4.0. I see God blessing me in so many ways and I finally seem to grasp the silliness of worrying. I also notice the continous struggles that I deal with over and over again, and pray and ask God to help me. I end the year realizing that I really and truly have a long way to go before I am "complete in maturity, not lacking anything". I end the year feeling happy and blessed, and wanting desperately to live a life for others and not myself. I also met Michael W. Smith the last day of the year, and that was pretty cool.

I must also say that after ninteen months with Garrett, we've both grown a lot as individuals and in our relationship. It indeed has been a blessing.



Looking forward...

This new year I want to love God first and foremost, more than anything or anyone. I want to passionately pursue Him and see His glory and live His glory.

I also want to love people with a zealous, selfless love.

I decided last night that I also want to finish (really finish it and be satisfied with) my novel (that I have been writing and rewriting and rewriting and rewriting since I was about 14) by the end of this year.

update on life: I was terminated. . .that would be fired. . .


all because I was honest.


I'm looking at this as a good thing. because I automatically get the
day off, and I don't have to leave till tomorrow still since I was
terminated today. So the day off will be nice.


I can come back in 6 months, and the guy that had to terminate me said
that he wants me to come back. so i can come back. woot woot.


and my friend BP said I could use one of her comp tickets to get into the parks tonight with my friends. I'm excited.

well good morning,

i am bored nothing new
grrr....
tomorrow is school>>
great...........
dont want to go to school now
so yeah
my day will be boring well me off

meg

I'm off to Passion '06 in Nashville... It's going to be good.

It's the most underrated day of the year January 2nd.

"But was it love?  The feeling of wanting to die beside her was clearly exaggerated: he had seen her only once before in his life!  Was it simply the hysteria of a man who, aware deep down of his inaptitude for love, felt the self-deluding need to simulate it?  His unconcsious was so cowardly that the best partner it could choose for its little comedy was this miserable provincial waitress with practically no chance at all to enter his life!"

The Unbearable Lightness of Being is probably the best novel I've ever read.

You're near your destination, the more you're slip sliding away....

Give me a few months. I'll have it.

We at Encounter hope you had a great christmas wish you the best in the start of 2006! We will be meeting at I-hop at 7:07 pm for all college and career age hope to see you there and bring some friends!

 Well this has been a good year. Yeah I am not much into the sentemental (remember I cant spell) on phusebox...oh well

Guess what today is??????
Passion 06.....starts in less than 12 hours.....I am so excited I just cant hold it in....AHHH!!!

Hopefully sometime this week I will be able to get a new profile picture...if not oh well. This week is going to be so awesome.

I hope that I can beat 18,000 other college students and get tickets to Dave Barnes and Matt Wertz duo late night concert today.....

Last time I saw you
We had just split in two
You were looking at me
I was looking at you
You had a way so familiar
But I could not recognize
'Cause you had blood on your face
I had blood in my eyes

i'm going to start looking on the bright side of things again. used to no matter what happened everything was still gravy. even though things dont work out for me how i want them to, it doesnt matter. things can always be worse. things arent as bad as i think they are, but their not always peachy

i also need to strengthen my walk with God. right now i'm just coasting by, but that definately isnt good enough.

this break has been pretty good. we might go fly my remote control air plane that i got for christmas a couple of years ago. it'll be the maiden flight. and it'll be awesome. hopefully the weather will hold out. but if not, thats ok.

my dad was talking crazy. something about how we needed to cut two trees in the back yard this week. i dont think we will, but that means i gotta drive in one weekend and do it. should be fun. i really dont mind doing work like that, i just didnt want to have to do that on my break.

i better go.

piece

"See, the pressure to be a certain kind of person in the context of the church culture I was living in was intense. When the pressure was taken off and I was surrounded by people who would describe themselves as pagans, there was suddenly no pressure for me to perform or be like anything. They didn't care, and that allowed my faith to grow for real."
-Don Miller

Well, It is the first day of a new year and the first time that I have ever posted a blog entry.  I always said that I never would start a blog because I thought that it was a bit pretentious to imagine that anyone really cared what I was doing from day to day, but I really like this community and have admittedly been wanting to write for some time.  Besides what better time than the very beginning of a new year to take on new endeavors and make new friends!!  Well that's all I got for my first post!! Later...

somebody to appreciate me for me... not try to change me to someone i don't want to be or wasn't made to be. thats pretty much all i need just to know i matter and make a good difference in somebody's life. if you think maybe you could fill this position feel free to leave a message here...
p.s. sorry guys girls do have an advantage here and are much more encouraged to fill this position seeing as i am straight.

iSkin in the mail.  Pierre, you will be caseless no longer.

Ah yes, I didn't get to post this while the box was down.  I got an iPod video for Christmas.  His name is Pierre.

So... school.  Day after tomorrow.  And tomorrow is only 31 minutes away.  "No thank you?"  Think that'll work with the truency officers when they come to arrest me for not going?

Just the thought of everything I could've been doing all break, all the make up work, all the organizing - it makes me nauseous.  To add to the queasy, I spent the greater part of today [after leaving Jane's] chatting with my relatives about what college I want to go to.

I have a particularly busy-body distant cousin named Dot who insists that I come stay with her if I decide to make a campus visit to Duke.

There was another invitation that I actually liked.  My cousin Peg invited me to stay with her and her husband Scott in Illinois to make a campus visit to Northwestern.  That sounds like fun... if not really terrifying.  The cool part though, it would be very easy to combine the campus visit with a visit I've been wanting to make to my pseudo-dad Alex, who lives in Madison, WI.

Well.  Anyways.

Dad wants me to get to sleep soonish.  Trying to get back into a real world sleeping pattern and everything.

Ah yes, we have hit the year of 2006. I'd recap on the previous year but alas, my resolution is to leave the past in the past.
                 
Not to mention-
stop taking my friends for granted,
accept the upcoming changes in our lives, 
over all just accepting life as it is
and not wishing for something bigger and better-
         because everything will work out better if I just let God do
         his thing and I quit messing with it.

Yes. MERRY NEW YEAR GUYS!

Another year has passed, and it has been a year full of milestones, some bigger than others.  I had my 18th birthday; I registered to vote; I was able to vote for the first time; I applied for scholarships; I went to prom; I graduated from high school as valedictorian; I spent a week with some of my best friends in the world; I got my first job; I packed up my room and moved away from home; I've made new friends from all over the country; I've learned the value of a dollar, and how far a college student can make a dollar go; I have stayed up late and paid for it the next morning; I have learned that boys, or anything for that matter, shouldn't be my source of satisfaction; I've been to Los, Wal-mart, and Coburn too many times to count; I've gone to class and studied a little; I've lost some friendships but gained others; I've  become addicted to facebook and spider solitaire; I've experienced life away from my family and because of that, frustration, confusion, and sometimes loneliness has penetrated my being, but most of all, and because of all this, I've grown.  I've grown and learned more about myself in the last 4 months than I've learned my entire life.  My walk with Christ has had its ups and downs throughout all of this, but I'm realizing that He is what keeps me going.  His mercies are new each morning, and I'm finally realizing what that means.  So, with my newly learned lessons in mind, I begin 2006.  I don't have a resolution per say; I simply want to continue growing as a godly woman.  I want to continue in this patter of learning.  I want God to teach me, fill me, and grow me.  I'm ready to accept what He's got in store for me.  As the old year fades away, I want to look to the future and know that God is with me every step of the way.  After all, that's what He promises.  

So I hope everyone had a really good Christmas and New Year. I guess I could say mine was pretty swell. I got MP3 player, some shirts, money and such. I guess all around it was a good Christmas. And I must say that this year really went by super fast. I hope 2006 will be a better year. I think it will. And for some reason I'm kind of missing school a little bit. It's just boring at home most of the time for me. So the second semester is here. And that to is another thing that has come up very quick to me anyways. It's hard to believe that we have only half a school year left. Then it's just boring summer again. So I guess I'll be leaving now. Hope everyone has a great New Year. Sham on!

-T@nner

"Convince me
Because I really need your help
Oh convince me
Because I can't see this for myself"

I ripped off The Raven's rhyme scheme.
It's like plagiarism, but without legal implications.
It's not meant to sound goth.  Maybe Poe-ish.  Maybe it is goth.  I really don't want it to be.  There's no mention of slitting wrists or being (the most conforming ever) nonconformist, so I think I'm safe.

Even now the light is ending and I feel myself descending
To the bitterness unending, utter blackness at my core.
Desperately I light a candle, clinging to that radiant handle
But the metal left a brand I’ll never know the reason for.
Worry not, it’s mental war.

As I wend my way through traffic and my mind, while only half-sick,
Serves as no more than a barrack for my psychic, rambling drone.
I try to drown it out with singing but I can’t obscure the ringing
An obnoxious sort of pinging from a most pernicious phone
A single word, the word "alone."

And suddenly my mind’s spent and I barely feel my heart, wrent,
And just as quickly I will repent of the tears I’ve shed before.
At last I've put my thoughts down and I’ve made my way across town
Though I haven’t quiet dislodged the frown that ebbs against lips’ shores.
I have come back from the brink once more.

Well I'm glad to say that I acutally got out of the house and did something today. Tomorrow I'm going to go around and do some more job applications. I need money...

I found a camp in Washington that Dale Clevenger teaches at...and he's like my horn idol so I'm definatly applying..and hopefully get accepted. It's only like two weeks long, but it will be worth it.

I'm currently watching the Vienna Philharmonic do their New Year concert that they do every year. I think it's funny that they are the only orchestra to play different style horns and oboes than everywhere else in the world. I don' know about the oboes, but the horns are single horns..with crooks to change the key, so transposing wouldn't be difficult...and they are piston valve while everyother horns are double F/Bb horns (meaning they play in the key of F and Bb simultainiously), with rotor valves (for you non horn-folk). Oh well, they still rock my socks off.

Well I hope everyone had a good New Years! School starts on Tuesday, hope you're all ready!!!

**so... i'm looking back over the past year... and realize i'm not the same. and i'm glad. i think it would be sad if i was the same. i want to grow! i want to change... i want to become more like Christ... and i know that i fall soo short of that... and i always will... but "if you shoot for nothing, you'll hit it every time"

**i look back and see all the blessings i was given this past year. all the friends that have been placed in my life... i keep replaying the night me and Am just sat in her car for an hour and a half... talking about everything on our hearts... i think of the day i found out that Whitney was going to PCC too. i think about graduation. i think about my last visit to camp. i think about my first day at PCC. i can't forget how alone i felt at first... and how quickly that passed. i think about the day my no-dating commitment ended... and how my suite all made it special. i think about going on my dating outing w/ some random guy that my roomates found at the soccer game the night before :) (now i have a story to tell all my freshmen in the future. hehe) i think about mid-terms. i think about Chels standing in the middle of the room screaming that we pull tighter and zip her into the formal that she's determined to zip. lol... and how she ended up wearing something else. haha. i think about my blind lunch date that my sis set me up on... and how i was shocked that he was really cool. i think about finals... and how God totally took care of it. i think about my last breakfast on campus w/ Mitchell (my best guy friend)... and i laugh about how he went from 8 to 90 demerits in one week. haha. i also think of all the times God totally guided me... He was there w/ me all the way... and i see how blessed i truely was in 2005... now i'm trusting that God has so much more instore for 2006

**this next year i really just want to focus more on ministering to others... and not myself. i want quite making excusses and go on Christian service... i want to serve those around me more... i know i must have been a terrible roomate... but anyways.. i'm gonna go. night, kiddos. ~Hope

2005 came and went.  I'll now be graduating in 5 months and moving out a little after that.  Wow.  As I was thinking how to write this I know it took a lot of research.  You see, I drew a major blank from February to May.  The beginning of 2005 started out good then took a nasty turn a month later. 

Starting in March I got a job and grew much closer to my two best friends because of the tragic event that occured in February.  I also really focused on school and made good grades and I believe I practiced a ton!!  I pushed people away from me and had much rebuilding to do over the next few months.  I do know that in February and March I went to a few Winterguard Competitions and a couple basketball games. 

I can't remember anything that happened in April except that Amy had a birthday.  I also think this is when Amy bought a car which gave me the green Saturn.  I also looked at several colleges over Spring Break in April.  Prom was fun too.  I went to Oakland's for prom committee and had fun working it.  I also spent much of this month filming a video for church that we showed for Night at the Oscar's, a fundraising event for youth group.

I spent most of May planning Megan's surprise 16th birthday party with Leah and I remember a guard party that required a date that was very hard o find but I had fun taking Ben.  In the end of May I began talking to A.J., which was also a very interesting experience that didn't last long at all.  

In June we took a family trip to Williamsburg and New York that started out very rocky because of relations with parents.  The trip was decent and was a nice break from everything.  That took two weeks in June and it was fun. 

July brought around some very interesting people again.  I went to Jenna's birthday party and met Trey.  The hurricanes in July also kept me from going to RYM, which I was actually looking forward to this year.  Then band camp started and the first practice was amazing because I just knew it was going to be an amazing season and it really was the best since freshman year.  The learning of ballet made me really nervous but I think it helped in the long run.  I also started getting attached to someone at this point and this relationship only grew.  My 18 birthday was also at the end of July.  It is one that I will never forget.  I had to go get senior pictures made on my birthday and then I had a band practice that night, in which I was surprised by Leah, Malory, Megan, Jeremy, and Kelly when I walked out the band room door.  They attacked me with silly string and they had put sequins all over my car (which were not fun to get off by he way).   Leah, Christi, Megan, Sarah, and Jenna had also decorated my car the night before at my party and it looked really cute.  I also auditioned for and made the Murfreesboro Youth Orchestra.

August started football games and the beginning of my senior year.  I had complications with my class schedule at first but now I love it! 

September started band competitions and we did really well this year and it made me very happy to be a good band for once in 3 years.  The football team was not so hot this year but thats ok.  September ended with Trey finally asking me out after months of getting to know eachother.

October began with Fall Break.  This year it was extra special because mom and dad let me bring Leah with us to Florida.  We met some surfers there and we had a good week despite the nasty weather.  The end of Fall Break also meant Trey and I breaking up because my heart was somewhere else...  October also ended football games and competitions for band.  The end of October also began the happiest relationship in awhile.  Great Grandma Vanderbaan's life also ended in the end of October. 

November started and not much happened this month.  I was busy preparing for Mid-State an doing other things.  I also started Winterguard this year and November started training for that.  I'm having fun with guard and it's a good thing for me to be doing. 

December is obviously the freshest month of last year.  The month started with Mid-State auditions and actually making it this year.  I had many people pushing me and believing in me and I think that really helped a lot.  The Christmas Parade this year was exciting because it was my last one.  I also saw Jeremy, my long lost Blackman friend, at the parade.  Ben and I celebrated Christmas on the 23 by going to Nashville and going ice skating, enjoying a wonderful dinner at Jimmy Kelly's and exchanging gifts in the restaurant.  Christmas at home was good and our trip to Indiana went ok as usual.  The year ended in a good way with friends and it's looking like a very promising 2006.  Now, if you want you can go to my xanga for my 2006 wish list.                                    

wow i didnt think new years would be all that fun.. but guess what?!?! IT WAS!! lol.. last night.. went to NAOMI'S house.. for a family party.. around like 2:00 me, joy, lisa, and kayla went to joys house.. went to bed around 3ish.. woke up around 9ish to get ready for church.. left for church around like 10... went to mc d's for breakfast.. went to church.. went to mall after church.. BOUGHT some cute SHIRTS.. then we went to the MOVIES.. now im home.. lisa's spending the night..

DID I MENTION what happened @ the mall?? lol!! ahahah me and lisa where walkin @ the mall.. and she had just talked to her mom about spending the night @ my house.. and so we where talkin and stuff.. and then these two guys that where walkin in the opposite direction goes "HEY GIRLS!!!" lol!! it was SO funnie!! lol!! it was one of those "u have to be there so its funny" moments!! lol

HOPE U HAD A GREAT NEW YEARS!! i DID!! =) 

This picture was taken around 2 am.  When you're near 30 it's quite amazing to be alert at this hour. 
I'm very thankful for Godly men like Wade and Doug (left and center) who are great friends of my husband. 

The new bedroom! 
It's understandable he doesn't want to sleep anymore.  We have college hours now: asleep at 1 am, up around 9:30 - 10. 

five american small towns i fell in love with at first sight:
1. Hot Springs, South Dakota
2. Black Mountain, North Carolina
3. Broken Bow, Nebraska
4. Eagleville, Tennessee
5. Strawberry Plains, Tennessee

five american metropolitan cities i adore spending time in:
1. Washington, D.C.
2. Asheville, North Carolina
3. Nashville, Tennessee
4. St. Louis, Missouri
5. Rapid Ciry, South Dakota

five american landmarks that took my breath away:
1. The Badlands
2. Arlington National Cemetary
3. Mount Rushmore
4. The Lincoln Memorial
5. The Vietnam Wall

i have a feeling when i GO TO HAWAII IN APRIL that this might all change. Happy New Year everyone!

I am trying to get my dog in the Purina Dog Show in New York City and it all starts with a little online voting.  I need you to click on over and show my dog some love!!  If he is the highest rated in his class, HE WINS!!! 

If you don't know me, just act like you do for a brief minute and hook my dog up with 5 bones!!

Click Here To Vote!!!

Thanks,
Shelby

happy new year.

i love you

so i really don't want to go back to school.

Alright...

Yeah i really did it!

I cut off all that hair!

I dont want to be adored...I want to be LOVED!!!
~If Only

18,000 college students
4 days
1 city
the experience PRICELESS!!!!

Passion is this week and IM EXCITED!!!!

Love Through Christ!!!
~Rachel~

okay, so.. it's the first.
i'm in a really weird mood.
the thought of school
makes me want to vomit.
here's a Built to Spill song:

Twin Falls

Christmas, Twin Falls, Idaho is her oldest memory
She was only two
It was the first time she felt blue

Cafeteria, Harrison Elementary
Beneath a parachute
I saw her without shoes
7UP I touched her thumb and she knew it was me
Although she couldn't see
Unless of course she peeked

My mom's good she got me out of Twin Falls, Idaho
Before I got too old
You know how that goes
That's where she still was the summer she turned 17
In 1983, three weeks after me
Last I heard was she had twins or maybe it was three
Although I've never seen
But that don't bother me

know what get on
my nerves a bit??
when people say
"happy new years"
is it not just one
year that is new??

booo just one more day left of break. i think i'm gonna make the most of it and sleep in, watch all the movies i got for christmas, and just genuinely be lazy. mmm sounds good.

resolution was awesome. definetly the best year so far. although the energy levels were kind of down, i actually had friends to go with this year.

happy new year!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Years and I hope everyone has had a great new years.

well last year was great by far my favorite year of my life soo far and i plan to make this year even better
and woot birthday in 6 days

click.&hearts;

new phusebox.
this one just holds memories.
that i don't want to remember.

.<3

IN THE BEGINNING OF 2005...



Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? nope
How old were you? 14
What was your outlook on the world? it was horrible
How were you doing at school/your job? horribly
What did you most look forward to? Wednesday nights
Did you make New Year's Resolutions? yes
What was your biggest worry? that i would screw up my life
Who was your best friend? Chris Morgan
What did you do with your spare time? got online
What did you do for fun? nothing


IN THE MIDDLE OF 2005: SUMMER

Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no
Had your outlook on the world changed? no
What things happened during summer? bad
Did you get a tan? nope
Who'd you hang out with? uhh...not many people...just the close ones...
Did you go visit anywhere? Denver, CO
What was your biggest worry? that i was going to lose one of my best friends
What was the most fun event that happened? going to denver

AND AS THE YEAR DRAWS TO AN END...

How old are you? 15
What major changes have happened since the year began? changing churches
Is your life any different from when it started this year? heck yes
What thing that happened stands out in your mind? losing a friend
Did You Fall in Love? no
How have you changed? in too many ways
Are you happy with how the year went? not really

FOR 2006...

Do you think it'll be better or worse than this year? who knows
What do you plan to do next year? i don't know
What are your New Year's resolutions? didn't make any, and i won't
Who are you spending New Year's Eve with? i spent it with gabi, my family, and stephen slate (well, part of it)

AND TO WRAP IT UP...

What one thing would you like to say as the year is almost done?
 i just want 2005 to be in the past...i hated that year in so many ways...

Well I just had the best New Years Party of my life. And it did not include alcohol, drugs, sex, or anything too stupid (with a few exceptions to the stupid part). Me, Ben, Alex, John, Gibelyou, Forrest, Faust, Ami Driver, Amy Roeger, Meredith, Olivia, Shelby, Abi, and Kaitlin all went over to alex's house and partyed it up untill about 2 am. Wow it was so much fun. I have all the pics in my photobox if you want to take a look at them, they are really great. I hope you guys had a great new years! I'm not a fan of resolutions but if you guys have any weird or unusual or cool ones, tell me b/c I always like hearing that kind of stuff! Also, things are starting to look up a little in the drama section. People are beginning to act like christians and reconcile with one another, so praise God for that. I will be interested though to see how it all turns out...even though I hate it when my life looks more like an MTV reality show. But anyway, this entry is long enough, and i'm just ragging now. So catch yall later gators, and happy new years.
~Garrett

Here's some of my favorite pics from last night. To see the rest, check my photobox. Enjoy.

there is something wrong when there is an ICE CREAM TRUCK going around your neighborhood in January!?!?

It's good to have Phusebox back.

Happy New Year everyone. Late Merry Christmas as well. I've done alot of thinking and I've come to this:

This post is going to be a combo of my last 2 Xanga posts (I had to find somewhere to write everything down while Phusebox was out..heh) so enjoy it and if you actually get through the whole post then you deserve a cookie.

Enjoy..

Saturday, December 24, 2005

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

-----------------------------------------------------

I added a few things ..by that I mean 2.. to my Christmas "list".
Things asked for this Christmas: 2.

I don't need alot of new things to make me happy or make Christmas worth while. It's never been like that for me. I was a spoiled little kid ..most of us were.. and I think it funny to think how excited I used to be on Christmas morning. All the toys my brother and I would get would make us so happy and we would play with them until they broke. As I grew older, my prespective on things changed.

Ever since I started giving more presents ..family, friends, girlfriends.. than I was getting, my mom has said "It's not about what they want. It's about what you want them to have." I disagreed with it because my train of thought was always about me and what I wanted ..I was selfish.. and it made no sense about why a gift someone wanted me to have would be exactly what I wanted.

So I was a selfish little kid ..and teenager.. but now I realize she's right. I joke with her and everyone else about how it's about what the person wants but she's right.

Christmas is the time when people run over each other for toys and other gifts and it seems to me that if we all just stepped back and looked at what Christmas is supposed to be about, it would be a whole lot more cheerful around this time of year. Take this for example: if someone were to ask you what you think of around Christmas time would you say..

- Jesus, Christmas trees, snow, Santa, and presents

..or..

- Traffic, crowded malls, credit card debt, and crazy people

It's just something to think about. I mean after all, Jesus is the reason for the season.

-----------------------------------------------------

The first semester of college has long been over. Wanna know my grades? Have fun with it..

- Communications 150  B+
- Geology 101  B+
- English 101  A
- Math 123  C+
- Spanish 150  B

-----------------------------------------------------

I've all but given up on writing like I used to. On my old xanga [[squirrelly203]] I would just sit down and type whatever I felt like typing and somehow it all made sense. Yeah, it ended up being 6 or 7 pages worth of thought and opinion but it was entertaining. Lately I've felt like I've lost my edge. I can't make an argument without going off on a rant or ending with something completely different than what I started with.

My mom always thought I would be a writer. I said there wasn't any money in it so I would pass. Then I thought about this: money shouldn't matter as long as you love what you're doing. I used to love to write. Maybe I will again someday. Who knows? In a week of two there could be this gigantic Xanga entry like the old days. If it happens, I promise it will make sense.

-----------------------------------------------------

People change. Life changes. Death, taxes, and change are probably the 3 most guaranteed things in life that we all deal with. The first two we tend to stay away from (obviously) but the latter is almost more positive than you might think. Take your group of friends in middle school. Now take your friends from high school. How many of them are still close to you? Which ones have changed? Moved? Died even? Thinking back on life before responsibility presents us with so much that we almost took for granted. With growing up comes less (sometimes more) drama, daunting responsibilities, and trying to find a job that will support you and your family.

Have you taken your life for granted? What about your childhood? There are so many what ifs and they are nothing more than what causes regret. The changes in life happen for a reason. The friends we had when we were younger might not even live near us now but they will always hold a special place in the memories we tell our new friends, family, and someday our kids. Change may not always be good but most of the time it is extremely beneficial to how we grow and learn.

All those girlfriends who lied to you or cheated on you cause you to be more selective and cautious about who you date. They changed your perspective. The times when your "best friend" told all your secrets to their new "best friend" shows you just how decietful people can be. They changed what you consider to be a "best friend."

Long winded as I sometimes am, what I'm getting at is you simply cannot move forward without some form of change. Change teaches us, helps us in our lives, and can even define who we are.

On a side note, we all have or will have a defining moment that is caused by some form of change. If you try to think back on your life to find it, then you haven't had one. It will always be fresh in your mind no matter how many years go by.

-----------------------------------------------------

When I talked about a best friend, it got me thinking of who I call my "best friends." Over the years my list, like everyone elses, has changed some. After 18 years, here are my best friends:

-Lyndi 8 months
-Kelly 3 years
-Genna 2 years
-Amy/Rachel 9 years
-Chris 4 years

I went over to Kelly's the other night to exchange presents between her, myself, and Genna. It's been a while since I've been to her house and when I got there I saw her mom, aunt, and grandparents. She and her family have found a special place in my heart ever since Kelly lost her dad nearly two years ago. She's got all of her friends that she's known for years longer than I've known her to support her and be there for her when she needs them but when I see her mom and family all together, it's like something completely different. I've always been made to feel like I was a part of their family and Kelly has become like a little sister almost. It warms my heart whenever I see them laughing and smiling because that let's me know they're doing alright. The whole point of me saying all of this is because when I was getting ready to leave, I hugged her mom bye and she told me she loved me. I said I love you too . After leaving the house, I sat in my truck for a minute and thought about how close I am to them. I'm not in town as much as I used to be but I always know that Kelly and Genna are two of my best friends and they will always be my family. She's there for me and I'm there for her and she's one of the few people I can still trust. That's friendship right there.

Amy and Rachel..good Lord..I've known them for it seems like forever. They're my little, yet older, sisters and their family welcomes me like I'm a part of it as well. Being able to just show up and joke with them like we did back in high school always brings a smile to my face and no matter what happens to me or them, the 3 of us will always be close because they are my older, shorter (heh) siblings. Sorry Amy,

I've only known Chris since high school but I can tell you he's German, awesome at video games, and can rebuild an engine in 29 minutes. We've been through alot over the past couple years and if I ever needed anything ..like someone to fix my truck or build me a cooler radio or anything actually.. that I could count on him.

Lastly, certainly not least-ly, I come to my girlfriend, fiancee, wife, and soul mate. Its been 8 months but it feels like 8 years. We can fight, argue, and smile over absolutely nothing and no matter what we do, we can count on each other for anything and everything. She knows every thought, feeling, and opinion my little mind could put out and that is more than any of my friends will ever know about me. There's not been a stone left unturned. I love her with all my heart and I will love her until the day I die. On top of everything, she is my best friend. There is and will never be another person quite like her. She's done so much for me and the biggest task she's taken on has been just putting up with me. I haven't made it a walk in the park but without her here to keep me straight I don't know where I would be. Nothing would make me happier than to see her face light up on Christmas morning considering this will be the first Christmas without her Grandfather. All I've wanted from the time of our first date was to see her smile and for 259 days straight  she has smiled at least once. I'm sorry for all the trouble I cause you and I love you to death beautiful. You're my life and my whole world.

To death do us part?

-----------------------------------------------------

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader in Sports.
Maybe one day, you'll hear these words..

"Welcome to Sportscenter, I'm Kyle Cantrell along side.."
..or even..
"Coming to you on ESPN Radio I'm Kyle Cantrell. What do you guys think about.."

Can dreams really come true?
If you asked me 3 years ago if I wanted to be in front of a camera doing news, sports, etc. I would have said no.
Now it's my life's goal.
Wouldn't that be something for a high school reunion?

-----------------------------------------------------

I've gone on long enough for now.

I <3 LRC

cantrell.out

-----------------------------------------------------------

Sunday, December 25, 2005

I wasn't sure how this Christmas was going to go because alot of things changed. Let's just say that this Christmas was awesome.

As always, I went to Alabama yesterday to be with my family. For the first time, I brought someone with me. Lyndi came and I do believe she had an awesome time becoming part of my family

Ever since I've had a Xanga, I always post what I got for Christmas. I don't know why but I'll continue that little tradition this year.

Enjoy..

- Digital Camera (my parents are the coolest)
- Webcam
- Garth Brooks Box Set
- Gift Cards to American Eagle and Hastings
- Jacket
- Hoodie
- Candy, Cash, Cookies
- Talking Ron White doll thing
- White UT hat
- VOLopoly (we played, I dominated)
- "Fill'er Up" Antique Gas Pump Liquor Pump (my little brother gave it to me, yes it's meant for liquor, no, I'll use it for water)

Lyndi's parents got me something, too. We were at her house late Christmas Eve and they were all opening presents and they gave me one to open. I rip the paper off, open the box, and the only thing inside is this sheet of computer paper. On this sheet of paper reads:

"This page is your ticket. Blue Collar Comedy Tour 2005, Gaylord Entertainment Center, February 16, 2005"

I had no idea what to say, think, or do. I did what any normal person like myself would do in that situation: I freaked and kept on smiling like a moron. Tickets to see my absolute favorite comedy show..holy freaking crap..I almost cried. That's not even the best part of Christmas, though.

Lyndi and I had our first Christmas together and that in itself was enough to bring a smile to my face. Bless her heart though..she saved her money to get me something I've been wanting for a good while and when I opened it up I almost cried. My wonderful girlfriend bought me a brand new Fossil watch. It's got a silver band and a silver face and it is unbelieveable. It's probably the nicest and most thoughtful thing someone other than my parents or grandparents has ever given me. My face lit up even more after I looked at my new watch and ever since I saw her open up what I got her, my heart feels like it can't quit smiling.

This has been one of the best Christmases ever. Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you all got to spend it with your families and your friends and had as good a CHRISTmas as I did, inside and out.

I love you Lyndi Rose (soon to be) Cantrell.

cantrell.out

Yeah so phusebox is back. Whoopideedodaaaa not like I write anything in here anyway.

Happy New Year!

New Poem - Where Angels Prosper

You deserve so much more than,
what this Earth has to offer.
You'd be happier to return to heaven,
where the other angels prosper.
Why fall from heaven
Into the deep end,
Just for a chance to love him?
But now your drowning,
Deep in the ocean,
Bitter tears and frowning,
from your mixed emotions.
We close our eyes tight,
so we won't see what's coming.
We shield our hearts, tonight,
to stop them from crumbling.
You know he loves you,
and he'd fall from heaven
Just to hold you,
and save you from the deep end.
You deserve so much more than,
What he has to offer.
Why don't you return to heaven?
Where all the angels prosper.
You know if you fall from heaven,
He'd catch you in his arms.
He'd dive into the deep end,
to end your worldly harm.
But you deserve so much more than
What I have to offer.
But please don't return to heaven,
Because without you I will falter,
and crash into the deep end
Where fallen angels prosper.

-Daniel Austin 2005

Happy 2006! I know 2005 was a good year for me!

I am glad that phusebox is back.

My Heros....

Anthony.

3 muskateers.

horrible pic. but Brandon David Gard.

2005 SIFLE, SABRE, AND RABRE LINE

silly people that do model poses while high

so a new year a new day, nothing ever really changes on New Years.... you may make those silly resolutions but most likly there aren't going to happen.  So its just another day we celebrate just for the heck of it. Sorry Sorry... Im being a downer.... maybe Donnie Darko has gotten to me...

Love

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, itis not easily angered, it kepps no recordof wrongs. Love does not delight inevil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Our society confuses love and lust.  Unlike lust, God's kind of love is directed ourward towards others, not inward toward ourselves.  It is utterly unselfish.  This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations.  It is possible to practice this love only if God helps us set aside our own desires and instincts, so that we can give love while expecting nothing in return.  Thus the more we become like Christ, the more love we will show to others.

*Everyone talks about what their New Year's commetments or resolutions are going to be...well, i feel that if i stive to be more like Christ, and allow God's love to flow through me in everything i do, then that is the only commentment i need to make.  because i will want to be with God (in his word) and i'll want to honor him in everything i do (how i treat others)...so here i am...infront of all those in cyberspace that my come across my entry, i make a promise to keep this commetment!  i know that it will not always be easy, but i know that God will help me!  i challenge you to think through the things in your life and make a "commetment" also.  I love you!

~love in Christ,

                    danielle

Well, while you all were in your beds this morning..I was up  and in Nashville by 9:00, and by 10:00 I had started to run a 5k. It was a pretty good race, course was crazy.. Time was ok..

X

Goin through a lot of shit lately,and seems to be gettin a little better...but I can't tell anymore....

I really like this girl....but I have no chance...at all....and even though I have told myself stop...my likin for her grows.

and then there's my parents..they're goin through some stuff...seems better though now?

And then there's school..all this other stuff affects my grades...

aahh well....

Well everyone welcome to 2006...as the sole Arkansas State Indian represented on pb...i would like to congratualte everyone on making it thru another year alive

Well im really excited bc this girl i completely poured my heart out to right before break is getting back from her intrenational travels today...i cant wait to hear from her be it good or bad...

I leave to go back to college on Friday and I am SOOOOOOOOOO excited...Hampton has been so boring since i got here two weeks ago and on top of that i feel like im embarking on a completely new path in college...CHANGING MY MAJOR from Journalism/Advertising to digital media and design...YAYYYYYYYYYYY...

Well i hope everyone has as much to look forward to in the coming weeks as i do...leave me some comments...i will totally be a resposive blogger...lol...once again with the lameness//

THIS is Michael and this is the end of my second post!

So Resolution was AMAZING, I got to see my old friends from KY, and I also got some new friends.

Skid was hilarious, me and Lauren called him during a session and he had his cell phone, and was looking at it, thinking who is this? and his voice mail is so cute, Daisy is saying how her daddy can't get to the phone, adorable

So my New Year's Resolutions are to work out at least 3 times a week and to finish the bible this year.

Well I'm going to go clean the house

  My New Year's Resolution is to show compassion and mercy. Lately, I have been in an abnormal mood: happy. Strange, don't you think? The only downside about this is when I am, nice and what not all the gall darn JROTC girls flirt and expect it back. I hate it! I do not like rotc-girls, I actually find it disgusting, no offense to any of them. I just don't find girls who and tough and manly attractive. I guess I am old fashion. Although, I have made the mistake in dating a few, but that never lasted long. To be honest the only JROTC girl I can stand is Sarah, that is only becuase she doesn't really act like one. I think another thing that gets on my nerves is the way the JROTC girls walk, and there is a difference; it is just hard to explain. How did I get on to this, anyways?

Any who, without getting into too much detail, my break, both of them, was a much needed and successful in what I wanted to do with it, well, most of it was anyways. The only real downside to this break was I gained a little weight (although, I haven't checked, I feel like I have), and my body feels a little on the impure side, but when school starts, it'll make fasting and training easier.

Tomorrow, I am going out to eat with a friend, a mentor from church, and going to go see a movie with a bunch of friends from church. So, all of that will be funny and a good ending to a great break.

I stayed up last night to watch the ball drop, then I drop into my bed. I was dead tired, and I do not think I dreamed at all. I had to make a trip to Target at 6 o'clock last night for a blender and CD-RW. The blender because our other one broke and my mom want to make more grasshoppers (ice-cream shake with Cream Da'Mint *alcohol*). 

I also found out that if I am left alone for too long, I start to think way too much. Hahah, yeah, yeah, a guy thinking too much is not alot, but I mean it, too much idea flowing through my little male brain that is drives me insane and I need a brain-drainer (TV, computer, that sort of a thing).

I think that is enough writing and probably errors. Ttyl