Its been 2 long! my internet is down so im on here first time in at least a month. Im at school and if i get caught on here im in so much trouble but i dont care. i miss phusebox so much. it really is sad. im having withdraw symptoms. i better go b4 i get suspended. i love yall so much.

 

 

 Switzerland

 

what she is tlking about!

 I read a blog a blog on myspace , from a friend of mine im not sure i should say her name or not , but i really liked it, or it was really useful to me...

her blog , was like quoting my life , i actually felt like she was tlking to me , more than to herself .. here are a couple of lines cut from it!

"those i used to judge i now understand but am more misunderstood than ever before"

 

"when you trust - be wise thats when youre in the most danger of getting hurt ---when you are the only one who understands yourself - keep a little smile inside because sometimes its better to be the only one who gets it ---"

 

 

 so this weekend was pretty interesting... lets start with thursday...

i had my first CEB event... it went really well.. i met some great people... and had a lot of fun.. it was just really long... but it was still fun

 

friday i got to spend some time with some really great people... i had girls night with some of my best girls and then had an amazing rest of the night! ;)

 

saturdays game was pretty cool.. sara and i had terrible seats so we went and sat with kevin, who came up with his grad student friends from memphis. i also got to meet up with a bunch of his friends and hang out with them that night.. it was lots of fun... but i kinda felt like the youngster for a bit..hahahaha

 -oh and i came out of saturday with a battle scar... hahaha im so intense!!!-

 

well sunday was nice and chill... i just slept in and chilled and did a little homework... had some interesting calls that day from a friend who i forgot i texted sat. night... it was so sweet he was calling to make sure i made it home ok... he's so sweet! hahaha 

 

 but now its monday night.. and yeah classes weren't too bad today but i have a ton of work to do before tomorrow.. and really i just dont want to do it... bah!!!

 

but yeah... i'm excited cause i have a job!!!! i start thursday!!! yay!!! and i got an email from my boss from this summer and we have a bonus check coming in the mail!! sweet!!!!

 

and yeah im going to indiana this weekend with sara... its gonna be a blasty blast!!

 

well i think thats about all thats going on... im sure this is the most retarded post ever.. but oh well... its late... and sometimes im retarded so there....

 

till next time!

-emily- 

Tonight was my last mime practice...it was sad. I'm gonna miss all the kids but I think it's what I need to do. I had a pretty good time with all of them tonight! I got to help teach the pastor's kid...he's so awesome! He makes me want to laugh. But anyway, I'm gonna miss all my mimes. : ( I love you all! Thanks for the impact you have made on my life! 

 Here's a picture that makes me happy.

 

MOOD: Bad Kinda BLAH
*and yes there is more then one kidn of blah*

So my people hows it going?
I have a question for you smart people.
What is one thing that makes you happy?
Now i have a few things.... like riding horses, ice-cream, hanging out with my friends & swinging.. + many more
I'm random i know.
i'm just feeling like the bad kinda Blah and its not cool, so i want to think of happy things :) ... so yeah please just keep me in your prayers and have a FANTASTIC rest of this fine monday night.

to me.

I'm glad i have friends who listen to me and are there for me whenever i need them. Especially those who let me sleep on their couch when my roommates decide to harrass me. those are the friends that you cherish. the ones you love to hang out with whenever you have the chance.

 

i miss the ones back home too.

 

oh well.

 

school today shouldnt be too bad. but i got alot of homework to do. after what happened last night, i didnt get much done. blah.

 

piece

You know i love that Trident (citrus) Tropical twist gum!

 for one more reason then yesterday .... :)

 

 

 

                              Jesus died for

                                MY SPACE

                                in heaven

 

                The lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be gorly for ever and ever. Amen. -- 2 Timothy 4:18

   

            i really like this verse. it mean alott to me b.c it is soo true. i cant describe what it mean. its just there!!!

There are not a whole lot of things I am sure about. Well I am sure that the sky is blue, God is pretty cool, and well that I am wearing a blue shirt. But I am pretty dang sure that last night was like the best night ever. I had a lot of fun. Just thought you guys should know.

 

--

oh have you guys heard the song In the Sun? it is really good.

 

May God's Love be with you,

Always.

May God's love be with you.

(It is a great song.)

peace 

I heard something at church tonight and I thought I would post about it because I thought it was really good.

 The pastor said that we belong to the Body of Chris and when we criticize each other that we are cutting off a part of our body. Like when we criticize someone  who isn't as smart or doesn't have a certain gift like we do we are saying that we don't need them and they don't matter. And I guess I've never thought about it that much but it is true. When we put someone down we are saying (whether we realize it or not) that person is useless in the Body of Christ. Plus it really hurts that person more then we even realize. God has called all of us to work together and love one another and support each other. I think we all sometimes forget that and we think that we can just say whatever we want and not effect anyone (read 1 Cor. 12:12-27).

  I just felt the need to post this. I just want to encourage all of you to try not to put each other down. I'm guilty of this too, so I'm not trying to get on anyone. I needed to hear this sermom as much as everybody else. 

 Well, I'm gonna go. I hope ya'll are doing good.  

So today I had a meeting for People to People to go to England. I would get to visit England, France, Belgium, and Holland. I really want to see the Warwick Castle, and the Eiffel Tower. I think it would be so much fun. I just wish some of the people who went to Australia would go. Then it would be even more fun. I just miss everyone so much. I really can't wait 'till we have another reunion. I'm pretty sure I'll get to go this year, except this time I'll have to fund raise the money, unlike last time. I don't think raising the money will really be that hard, if I just try. Keri might get to go, which will be totally awesome. Can't wait! Ahh.

 

Oh yeah, my dad's travelling to Knoxville for work this week so be praying for him.

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

TODAY THE MOST FAMOUS MIME DIED. MARCEL MARCEAU  1923-2007.

HE WAS THE FIRST ONE TO INTRODUCE  MIME TO THE WORLD.  

There's word that Marcel Marceau, the famed mime, has died in France. He was a Holocaust survivor whose performing career spanned more than a half-century. He was 84. (Sept. 23)

 

 

My aunt passed away this morning.  It is kinda sad, but i wasnt that close to her. But it was my grandmothers sister. She only has one left.  I visited her this past summer, she didnt remember much, she forgot where her room was, and she forgot my name like 10 times in the two days that I was there but i dont really care because she is one of the last things that reminded me of my own grandmother. I am going to miss her.

 

photo from LoweryKid

 

it was never part of my plans to end things

i thought we could make it work.

i tried.

you didnt.

 

you said u still liked me.

but never bothered to follow through with actions

out of all the times...how many days did i call you?

that you didnt call me.

 

how many times was i willing to tell you everything

when you told me nothing?

how many unanswered messages where i tried to get an answer?

 

i dont even understand what happened...

we started perfectly.

you were amazing.

youd call to say goodnight

say sweet things to me

talk to me

you even stayed on the phone with me when i was sick.

 

and then...

you were busy.

always.

not a minute to spare.

not even to call to say good night

 

there was no reassurance

no light at the end of the tunnel

no light reflecting off the dark clouds above.

all was dark

no hope to come.

i put faith in you

you broke it in two.

 

it's like you didnt care about me the way you once did.

yet...i was still the one to say the words

"we need to take a break"

you shouldve been the one to say the words.

not me

 

now the memories feel like dreams

an untouchable dream

that you run towards

but never get to

 

now im here alone.

but who knows where you are.

Arlington Tennessee Band Competition:Dickson County High School Marching Band

Best in Division Percussion

Best in Division Color Gaurd

Best in Division Drum Major

Best in Division (period)

GRAND CHAMPIONS OF ARLINGTON BAND COMPETITION!!!

 

Last week we won in Henderson:

Best in Division Percussion

Best in Division Horn Line

Best in Division

Superior Band Award

Grand Champions in Small Band Class

 

I see a pattern.

Baby when I look at you with your hair fallin' down and your baby blues
Standing there across the room I get so lost in the way you move
It makes me reminisce back to years ago on a night like this
Teary eyed as you took my hand and I told you that I'd be your man
So many have come so many things have gone
one thing that's stayed the same is our love is still growing strong


Baby just look at us all this time and we're still in love
Something like this just don't exist
Between a backwoods boy and a fairy tale princess
People said it would never work out
Living our dreams has shattered all doubts
It feels good to prove 'em wrong
Living our love song

Oh darling would you look at me
With my heart beating fast and my shaking knees
It's pretty hard to believe after all these years I still need you this badly
You're dancing in my arms with a spotlight moon in a sea of stars
Girl (boy) we've come so far everything I want is everything that you are
I just want to lay you down
Say I love you without a sound
I think you know what I'm talking about

Feels good to prove 'em wrong
Just living our love song

okay this is something i've been meaning to put on here for a while, but never got around to it.

i love looking at the stars because i get to think and let my mind wander.  i usually have some pretty deep thoughts.  i was laying in the roundpin at neely's one night and i wondered "If our sun really is a star...what if every other star out there is a sun to another galaxy?  maybe every galaxy might not have life...but what if?" 

I really like that because it makes me think and now every time i look at the stars i wonder if that might be true.  i got to look at the stars this week when i went camping...while i wasn't freezing my legs off, that is!  (inside joke...well it's not really that funny, it's quite true.)  but n e way...that was one of my deep thoughts...that i probably surprised you all with.

carmen luvs austin

MOOD: Tired/Tired/Tired
(oh and these are 3 DIFFERENT kinds of Tired! #1 - Sleep kinda Tired #2 - Tired of Drama #3 - Tired of things i want to forget about always coming up)

Today i got to go to the movies! i saw one of my new top 10 favorite movies, its called Sydney White. LOVE IT!
But there were all this kids in the theater that i suppose had never gone to the movies without their mommys b/c they were ALL over the place, Yelling & talking REALLY loud. And OMGosh i have never seen so much Drama in less then 2 hours. At one point i think this one kid that thought he was Mr. Cool Guy was going to beat up this over guy that made some girl cry. It was CRAZY! Anyways the movie was FANTASTIC!
Oh yeah and i think i am haunted with a stupid little state called HAWAII! OMGosh Hawaii stuff is EVERY WHERE! its getting to be a pain in the rain! I cant go ANYWERE without seeing something that has to do with Hawaii, its quite sad i would have to say.
Well sorry for boring you people, suppose i'll talk to you later.

WELL i had an awesome weekend!!!!  i went camping on friday night, i got to play a little golf (well go to the driving range anyway) and i got to hang out with my awesome friends..well a few anyway.  i stayed up till like 3:30 in the morning just talking and working some stuff out...i guess you could call it working stuff out.  it was really a lot of fun.  but then i had to go to sleep...i got like maybe 2 and a half hours of sleep...and then i had to wake up at 6:30 today and go to a JBQ tournament for which i was the timekeeper....all day long.  WOOT...not really.  but it was really cool to hear all those kids just answering the questions and knowing that they know the Word that well!  it was hard to not like cheer the whole entire match.  and then i went to a 'rodeo'...roping competition...and i got on this horse.  well to say this nicely and simply, that horse was not my type.  it was trained so weird and i had never seen this thing before in my life so i was a little weirded out but then i got on and people started yelling at me like don't do this and don't do that and so i got off because they weren't helping anything.  (that was an EXTREMELY long sentence right there.)  but my favorite thing was camping...haven't done that in a while.  LoTs Of FuN...so yeah i guess that's really all.

and corey in answer to your question, i think some people put their problems on here because either they want people to know for selfish reasons or really serious reasons.  i put some of my problems on here sometimes because it's like a venting kind of thing and then...i don't know!  you've put problems on here before too.

WELL THEN...i best be goin'.  adios amigos

Last night was the shoot for our video, "How to Have an Ideal Date". It was a pretty simple idea. We would shoot most of it in my partner Michael's apartment, and then we were supposed to shoot the rest at Steak n' Shake.  We figured the apartement part wouldn't take too long, maybe an hour or two, and then maybe an hour or less at Steak n' Shake.

 

But alas, everything feel to pieces quite quickly.

 

I wish I can remember the sequence in which everything happened, but some of it I think seemed to fall apart all at once. Let's start with our camera...

 

We have to check out cameras from the school's department, which are really nice so I won't complain. The camera we checked out was not one of my professor's cameras, but one of the other professors' (but that's a whole other story we won't get into). So everything on the camera was set on the wrong thing, which makes things difficult when you are still trying to figure out how to use the camera. That might not have been too huge of a deal, but we did not realize this until after we realized the BOTH of the batteries in the camera kit were COMPLETELY DEAD, which can also be attributed to the fact that it was not one of my professor's kits.

 

So that delayed us. While I was on the phone with a classmate discussing using one of their batteries from their camera kit (since they would not be shooting until later this weekend), my partner Andy was on the phone with Steak n' Shake. Guess what they had to say?! Sorry, the person who had told us we could shoot there did not have the authority to do so and we absolutely could not shoot there!

 

Great. So we have dead batteries and one of our locations is completely out of the picture. Now it was time for some major brainstorming. One of our classmates said that she had gotten permission for us to shoot where she works, but unfortunately it was in Franklin and we would not be able to shoot until after midnight (which was when we were going to shoot at Steak n' Shake, but at least it would have been local). We called her and left a voicemail, but brainstormed for better options as one of the batteries charged up.

 

I decided to call Graham, who then turned me over to his mom, to ask about trying to make a portion of either their deck or part of their house look like a restaurant. They were more than willing to help out and so we breathed a little easier.

 

Meanwhile, we had to figure out how to shoot in Michael's dang apartment, which had bad lighting and obstacles known as furniture. We also had a problem of not being able to shoot outside for the "pick up" and "drop off" scenes because of how dark it was, and had to come up with creative ways to shoot those scenes from the inside. (And remember, during all this we were still trying to figure out the camera.)

 

I think we may have finished up with shooting everything at the apartment at 11 something (we arrived at the apartment shortly after 6... we spent about two to three hours trying to figure out how to solve all our problems). Then it was time to head over to Graham's. After a run-in with a rapping thug who wanted our cell phones at the Wal-Mart gas station, we headed over to Graham's.

 

God bless Trudy. She set up a really nice area that really did look like a restaurant. Granted, Michael Johnson won't be fooled, but we knew it was the best we could do. It was also nice that Graham's house is very well lit. We spent, roughly, about another hour and a half there getting our final shots, and most everything went smoothly there.

 

I got home at about 1:30 or so and crashed at 2 AM. My sleep was not as sweet as I anticipated, however, as I would wake up and worry about some of the shots we did before falling back to sleep. There is no room for mistakes as we do not have the option to reshoot. We can only hope and pray that in our 40 minutes of footage (after 7 hours madness) that there are two minutes of redeeming video that will keep us from getting too miserable of a grade. Thank goodness our talent was great... we really would have flopped without all their efforts. And now we can also only hope and pray that the editing process goes well. Thankfully Andy has a whole week for that.

 

So filming is not quite the glamour it appears to be.

 

And this morning I dropped my psychology class I hated so much. And it feels so freeing... 

This is a funny video Lane sent me. : )

because austin says thats the # to life , im soo dizzy right now! i feel like i just got off that airplane on the way back to hawaiii !why did i take those dumb allergy pills?  SIDE effect: dizziness , drowsiness! i am bout the konk out in a few minutes!

oh , the many stars i see , i feel like ive been smoking something!

 

MOOD: Tired

Hey my people. As you know it is FRIDAY! THANK THE LORD! i am so happy i can sleep in tomorrow and not freak about school! Yaaaa Me! Tonight Sam and i are going to the movies..i'm not sure what movie but Sam said its going to be good so hey i'll go! I'm not sure if Sarah is going but i hope she does :P And MAYBE i'll get to ride this weekend (hint hint to Lilly WE NEED TO RIDE) Well i'm bored so i'm going to put random sayings on here! oh yeah you know you like it!
*Either you stand or you fall* 

*I am home enough to know i am lost*

*The sun, how it still comes up and goes down, and the days pass...and life goes on the way it always does...even though MY world is standing still*

*Jesus came not "once upon a time" but at a specific point in history*

*You dont have to chase me, i'm not running away*

*At the moment, I am living life*

*Hope is a powerful medicine*

*Look at it with your eyes, instead of your memory*

*If life is a journey, the bags sure do get heavy sometimes - but laughter is the porter who helps us carry them*

*If you want me to fall for you, you must give me something worth tripping over*

LOL this just makes me smile every time i read it so i thought i would put it on here :P its off of Pirates of the Caribbean
*Me? i'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishpnest. Honestly! Its the honest ones you want to watch for, b/c you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid*

*Ask not what God can do for you, Ask what you can do for God*

*You'll never stand taller then when you stoup to help a child*
Well sorry if i bored you. But since i am already bored it doesn't faze me.

So it turns out that my friend Devin, who took those engagement pictures, is going to take pictures from my wedding! I am SOOO excited about this.
Talk about finally hearing some good news about the wedding... now if only the rest of this stuff would go smoothly!

guess what all you coolio kiddos?  i learned football...or learned about it...or whathaveyou.  i went to the football game lastnight and i learned about penaltys and downs and stuff...WOO!  now when someone is talking about football i don't have to sit there and say i don't know what they're talking about cuz now i do!!!  I'm going camping tonight and i am flippin excited!  IT'S FRIDAY!!!  i really don't like fridays that much...but i guess they're alright.  i would say something about this guy that i might sorta maybe like, but i don't want to hear any i-told-you-so's.  BUT I'M GOING CAMPING!!!!  and i get to play golf...YES!  i have been waiting for that like all week long.  and the campout.  i'm tired, because i didn't sleep at all lastnight.  i think i was nervous and/or anxious and thinking too much.  but that happens to me a lot.  wow...so how was everyone's week???  i really would like to know because i'm bored and have nothing to do.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A MESSAGE FROM ANYONE IN 2 DAYS.

(hint hint wink wink...send me a dang message.)

Punish the Jena 6.  What they did was wrong.  Letting them off the hook because Jesse Jackson and 150k Californians are angry is wrong.  Yes, some punk hung some hangman's nooses in a tree.  O.  M.  G.  I once heard a black guy refer to a white guy as a racist.  I guess I should beat the shit out of him as well.

 

Bah. 

that seems to happen in college. specially if you still procrastinate....

 

so i got about 3 and a half hours last night.

 

mainly cuz i hung out with friends for hours and  then finally started on my english essay....

and now i have to do physics.

cuz as long as i get half of it done i pass.

 

i say....lets make todays random day give beth a hug day. ( :

Jarred asked me to say hello to all of you. And to tell you that he misses you very much.

Jarred wanted me to tell you how much he misses you!

 

 

That's what I want to know...

And over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and FREAKING OVER!!!!!!

 

So have I made it clear that I'm not a happy camper yet? 

Random thoughts for everybody:

" have you said what you need to say to somebody... if they died tomorrow would you leave that on yourself for not saying it when you could? "

        i just want to Challenge you on that , dont let the sun go down on your anger , or "dont go through life on your tiptoes , let the sand get between your feet" metaphorically speaking ,that is.

 

 

 

-Erin(elizabeth)

as promised... pictures of my new hair cut...

photo from carlyle02


photo from carlyle02

its a little shorter than i planned.. but its growing on me....

 

Mood: Happy (at the moment)

So today went pretty good. School went good and then i got to hang out with some FANTASTIC people at my church. It was a lot of fun and Church was AMAZING! I cried..oh so sad, it was really good i finally i broke down and went up to get prayed for. And i FINALLY have forgiven my dad. I am over what he did and how he hurt me and my family. I have full heartedly forgiven him. Its so good! I feel really good for finally saying "I'm done walking around with this hurt"
Then we went out to eat ... i was wearing Seths swet-shirt and had the hood up..they were calling me names :P lol it was fun
Other then that Lilly and i went to the park and had a bunch of fun swinging! Then we got some smoothes and went back to swing some more. Over all it was a really good day! Gots to go talk to you guys later

 GOD's Busy

 

 If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!!

 

 A United States Marine was attending some college

 courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and

 Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed

 atheist and a member of the ACLU.

 One day the professor shocked the class when he came

 in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God,

 if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this

 platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

 Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed,

 "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."

 It got down to the last couple of minutes when the

 Marine got out of his chair, went up to the

 professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the

 platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to

 his seat and sat there, silently. The other students

 were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in

 silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken,

 looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the

 matter with you? Why did you do that?"

 The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today

 protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your

 right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot.

 So, He sent me."

 

okay so...sadly, mr. meise (the choir director)...well his mother passed away.  so today, they had to go to the memorial service.  and because i am president, i was left with the duty of leading the rehearsal.  Me and Hallie were up there and i was on the grand piano...r.b. was on the clavi and yeah.  i played the alto part and my hands hurt so bad because i had to BANG on that piano (a grand piano, might i remind you!) because they couldn't hear it.  apparently, they are deaf.  they can't hear a part, they can't hear the piano, and they can't hear anything i'm saying.  and if they can, they just don't do it.  some of them do VERY well..but some just don't hardly DO anything at all.  so yeah.  but i guess all in all it was a pretty successful rehearsal.  the altos really did about the same as they always do, and they actually kinda did listen to us and didn't talk to awful much.  but you have to be loud, which i am good at, but for some reason, my voice feels so stressed!  GRR homecoming is the night right before freshman honors auditions...and thursday is the late night and i will be major sleep deprived...niether of which are good for a voice.  O well...even after i say all this stuff about how crazy it all is, in the end i always look back and i know that i love music and i love teaching and i really do!  so i guess that's all.

WOW that was a lot longer than i thought it would be....but this was what was buzzing around in my head.  so there.

so... school sucks... i hate being gone for a while and then coming back to school and having to do tons of school work... it pretty much sucks balls...

 

right now im in the library supposed to be doing my italian tema... but obviously thats not working out too hot.... oh well i still have like and hour before i need to be done with it...

 

so i basically cant wait for the next few months to be over... and i have a feeling its going to fly by... but im also not so thrilled about christmas break.. maybe its cause i have to get my third and final round of shots... or maybe its cause i have to get my wisdom teeth yanked out of my mouth... or maybe its just cause i will be at home... who knows... its going to be interesting thats for sure.

 

i realized when i was in the airport waiting for hours for my flight with a dead cell phone and ipod that i really want to go on a vacation somewhere... i dont think it even matters at this point where i go... i just really want to go somewhere... i just love traveling... 

 

anywho.. enough procrastination...

 

later yal!

-em-

 

oh i got my hair cut...not really sure if i like it yet... oh well.. maybe i'll have pics up here sometime...  

i dont wanna talk bad about people. but i wanna move out

 

now i gotta hit the books. gotta work hard you know. i just... dont like western civ. blah

 

i wanna go home sometime too. get away for a while.

 

piece

"Look at Steve Urkle wrestle that crocodile!" -Dad, referring to Steve Irwin

 

"...I drive around Murfreesboro and pretend I'm Batman..." -Andy, explaining what, pray tell, you do with a Batman soundtrack  

 

"Take your menopause pill, lady!" -Jolene, about her feelings towards an angry middle-aged woman 

i hate how things are turning out in my life right now. i really really miss the old old days. :[

 

 

bla

MOOD: Trying to Laugh

 

Laughing at yourself is probably the most fun thing to laugh at:) Have a nice day

MOOD: Sick Of Drama

 

Yeah so my MOOD says pretty much everything. I'm tired of DRAMA! I'm tired of people talking about other people. I'm tired of people saying one thing one minute and changing their story 2 seconds later. Aren't friends supposed to be nice to each other and stick up for one another, not hurt them and stab them in the back. I dont know much about people, i've only been here on this earth for 14 years and i have only started to think about life for 3 of those years. I'm just saying Drama is not good and does nothing but drive people craZy! and no this has nothing to do with all the crap that has gone on on PhuseBox. I was just thinking about some stuff and thought WOW Drama seems to be every where! and its sick! Well just thought i would put my 2cents in about Drama! *Sorry i know i posted 2 times in 1 day, i'm sorry! i try not to but this was bothering me and i thought i would share it with all the people that actually read this ( estimating around 0 ) ~Don't Be Messy~

It seems like everytime I finish something in school, something else comes up. It's never ending. I can't wait till fall break so I can actually relax for a whiel. But even then I have to do a research paper. Ugh. At least I have dance to relieve some stress. I can't wait! We start competition tonight. Yay!

I'm in a really weird mood right now. I'm not really sad, but I'm not really extremely happy about anything. I'm kind of just floating through life, and it seems like the only things that make me happy anymore are past experinces.

I have been so tired lately. It seems like in school after I get one project done, I have another right after that. It's never ending. As lond as I'm doing well I guess. Well, IF I'm doing well. At least I have dance to let all my stress go. I'm so excited. We get to start competition tonight.

I'm in a really weird mood. It's kind of like I'm just floating through life with no emotions. I'm not really sad about anything, but I don't really have anything to be extremely happy about. Which makes me kind of sad in a way. I don't want to miss out on life. It seems like all my friends go on with life no matter if I'm happy or sad or whatever. I wish I could back and relieve Australia. It was so much fun. I didn't care what people thought, and I just had fun. I guess it kind of had to do with that none of the people knew that much about me like people who have gone to school with me forever. So I could become anybody who I wanted. Which is really nice. Sometimes I wish I could start all over in a new school for those reasons, but then I would miss all my friends. But sometimes I wonder if they would really miss me.

so i realized that there is a job fair tomorow. UT is known for there carreer services department. there's over 500 companies there. i didnt decide till today that i should go. cause really, what is there for a poli sci major right? but i'm going to go. but i spent over an hour at the mall looking for new dress clothes. cause i've lost 30 pounds since i've joined college and i wanna look my best. and i left my dress pants at home. so it was somewhat of a neccessity. lol.

 

but before i went to the mall i went to work out. and i was going to parrellel park outside the rec center. i have to parrellel park, or sometimes i choose to in order to get to class faster, and easy 3 or more times a week. i'm quite good at it. but i shouldnt brag. cause today i hit a car while doing it. :( i was so mad. well, i thought about driving off. i've seen people do it a hundred times, they hit a parked car on campus and then just drive off. i looked at my car, there wasnt anything wrong. i looked at the other car, and it had a scrape on the rubber of the bumper. but, this car was already pretty beat up. it was pretty bad off. so i thought about it for a while. but i just couldnt do it. so i called my dad and then i left a note on the car saying i hit their car and left my number. they havent called yet. so they must not care. but i felt alot better knowing that i did the right thing.

 

before that was class. class was class. blah

 

so now i know i have a soul. lol

 

piece

MOOD: Weird

Translation... 

Mood:Weird

 

Ok so today has been weird. I dont know any other word that would describe today. Last night i finally got a FULL nights sleep. AMAZING i know, and you would think if i finally got some sleep today would be good and i could get my school done without falling asleep during History again. But NO! I woke up and felt like crap so my mom gave me some medicine and that didn't help AT ALL. It made me all weird where i couldn't ( & still cant ) concintrate on ANYTHING. And that made doing school pretty much impossible. I CANT MISS A DAY OF SCHOOL! i already have enough, and missing a day is going to kill me. So Pretty Much i'm not gona get all my homework done and you guys know me, i am the kid that ALWAYS gets their homework in ON TIME. And if i get ANYTHING less then a 100 and there is an option to REwrite a paper or do extra credit i'll do it! Ahhhhh ( i just felt like yelling ) So yeah you can tell i'm a freak when it comes to my school. You know what i need, to go riding (hint hint Lilly we should go riding soon, that is IF i can find time to...)Well i shall go, sorry for boring you with this STUPID post.  

I'm tired of being the weak one, the one who's trampled on and crushed.

It's times like these I turn to you, only then do the voices hush.

I'm sick of having to do that, sick of relying on someone else.

I want to be my own kickstand, don't want to be left on a shelf. 

My mind is cluttered with thoughts of this, but I'm leaving it all behind. 

I won't be the weak one any longer, it's forever in the back of my mind.

I'm stronger than you know, stronger than you think, and it's time for me to believe it.

Because I've got a dream, and you may not like it, but it's time for me to achieve it.

I won't let you walk all over me, I'm gonna be so much stronger.

So you can love me or hate me, take me or leave me, I'm NOT doing this any longer.

--Carmen

 

 

Hey... everyone....

 

go to www.myyearbook.com/steven_ambrose

and check out my profile page on there...

my sister is leaving in 2 hours and i am kinda mad, there is a plane to Nashville and i am not on it :( it pretty much sucks. But it was great having them here :) we went to the beach 5 times in 1 week ha ha my great tan:) but i am going to miss them. 3 months till i see them again

so i am officially in north carolina in a hotel... where tomorrow i will see my uncle for the first time in a little less than a year... but unfortunately he will be in a casket... its hard death... its especially hard to watch people such as the men in this family on the edge of tears every moment.. its hard to be the tough one... im not used to it.. but being the only person out of my immediate family here other than my dad i know i need to be there for him...

 

tomorrow is going to be rough.. its going to be long and hard and well there are going to be a lot of tears...

 

but its ok cause i know this family... i know we can get through this... if anyone actually reads this... just please if you get a chance tomorrow in the hustle and bustle of your day... pray peace on my family...

 

it will be hard... but we have one thing that still remains and thats family... and this bond will never die.

 

peace and love,

emily

well i guess you could call my weekend pretty ideal, right?  wrong.  there's one major thing missing.  one thing that i could give everything else up for.  but no...i can't do that.  even if i did give everything up, it wouldn't make a difference.  i just want to say that you can't force someone's feelings to change.  and that's all.  so anyway...i guess i had a lot of fun riding horses and playing golf and stuff...but just while i was doing that stuff.  but afterward...i start thinking.  and we all know that's no good at all.  i don't really know what to do now.  so i guess have a dang good week...and talk to people.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

IF i can't hold you tonight, i can still dream about you.

so booyah

So basically this weekend was the most friggain awesome. It started out with watching DC's first home game (a win) with some friends that I had not seen in forever. It was so awesome hanging with them because I had not talked to them in forever. Then the next day I went to hang with Levi and Mckenna Davis at a hay ride thing when I saw the same people so I hung with like a bunch of people. And met some dude from England. Well anyways I beet up this 20 year old because the thought that he could take me so I pinned him twice and he gave up. Then Levi was talking to some of his friends like we should totally go screw with someone and make them so friggian scared. Then I said "Hey can I tag along" So he was like sure dude you staying the night? So I did. It was so dang cold. But cool we camped under the stars with a bunch of guys and dogs...dogs bad guys kinda cool because it was basically just talking about hunting and...well...guy things. So I didn't sleep at all because those gay dogs kept trying to snuggle with me and one was making out with me the whole time (sorry Elizabeth it wasn't my fault). And it was cold. Then we all kina got up at 6 and threw a can of coke in the fire and we forgot about  it and 20 min later it blew up and coke went everywhere. So I went to Church with Levi and Mckenna and hung out with them the rest of the day. It was pretty cool. I learned some pretty awesome stuff and got out of my head for awhile.

Is the world ready for the return of boy bands? Not that I mind the music, but those over dramatic gestures...

 

On a totally different note, has anyone who wears contacts had a problem with your lenses tearing insanely faster than they should? I'm having a lot of trouble with mine tearing lately and I don't understand what's happening because I'm not doing anything differently... 

So I just found out that my cousing is getting married. And I'm going to be the maid of honor. At first I didn't believe her. But then my aunt called my mom and told her. I just can't believe it.

well yesterday i got to do two things that i absolutely LOVE!  i played golf and i rode my bike like 2 or so miles...(not much but hey) and today i get to RIDE HORSES...ah yay!  let me tell you, whacking a golf ball 150 or so yards is an EXCELLENT stress/anger (which i have plenty of both...) reliever.  i love golf...and biking...and riding horses!  i guess any kind of exercise is good for stress though.  maybe i'll try out for the golf team next year...i just have to start practicing.  it's like the only sport i'm really any good at that there's a team for at school.  o well...it's so much fun!

so yeah , i'm at julia's house . and i'm perty much bored out of my mind :] and i don't like her keyboard . it makes me messup to muchhh . but anyways yeah have a good day

:]

hey guys...guess what?  i'm off to my very first ever FASHION SHOW!  so i will see you coolio kiddos later!

luv ya

So apparently they are sweet and somewhat sour. Not completely sour because there is still that hint of natural sugar. There is still that taste that turns to taste good even if at first it doesn't. But with the creme you have that gaurenteed sweetness. Unless ofcourse you have too many berries and not enough creme. See then you have almost overwhelming sour. But it is about how you start the bowl. You can put more creme or too many berries. When you take all the bowls and put them together, it is not what matters. It does not matter about one bowl of too much sour and not enough sweet. It is when you take all those bowls and put them into a very large pot. Then you can see if you have had more sweet. But it is not about the fake sugar it is about the natural sugar. How many times has those berries turned into a wonderful taste like they always do. When you measure all of that. That is the sweet.

Your Right Foot and Your Brain

You have to try this to believe it!!!

How smart is Your Right Foot?

  Just try this - It is from an orthopedic surgeon.  This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot.  But, you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain!

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY) and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

JUST TWO THINGS...Two Names You Go By 1.Tyler  2. James
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now1. My AE shirt  2. My sisters blue jeans Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a relationship1. well lets see. . . 2. i couldnt ask for anything better Two of Your Favorite Things to do1. Being with Grace2. Hanging with Tennesseeans
Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment1. to talk to you 2. to come homeTwo pets you had/have1.  Gabbi 2. Reba. . . oh how i miss her
Two people who will fill this out 1. UR MOM lol
2. No oneTwo things you did last night1. drugs lol jk
2. SCHOOLTwo things you ate today (yesterday)1.  Brownies2. strawberries Two People you last talked to1. mom  
2.  DaltonThings You're doing tomorrow1.  going beach2. Sea Life ParkTwo longest car rides1. Florida  2.  arkansas :) a lot of fun
Favorite Holidays1  Christmas 2. uhm if  is one over summer yeah thats it because i will be HOME Two favorite beverages1.   Passion Orange Guava (P.O.G.)2. Sweet tea    sorry grace i was bored 

photo from LoweryKid

today. . . i lost a friend,

i lost a best friend. 

someone who loves me and loves God

someone who just wants to be closer to God

and chances are i will never see the person again

pretty much sucks 

i don't care how low and stupid begging is...this is me, on my knees begging please!!!!!!! 

please, i'll do ANYTHING in my power!  please...

so i'm back home in brentwood for the weekend... it's pretty good i guess... i get to see some people i never see... and i get to see my family.. its just a sucky situation for why i am here....

 

my dad called me today when i was on my way from knoxville to brentwood... and informed me that he was going to north carolina tonight... my first reaction was "WHAT... WHATS GOING ON???"

as soon as he realized that he hadnt talked to me in a few days he let me in on the cituation... my uncle isnt getting any better... they decided they are going to take him off life support... all they are waiting on is my dad to get there...

its just a really sucky situation... i'm not going to get the chance to say goodbye... which i hate...

i mean he is so young.. at least for being someone that is dying... and what sucks even more is that he wont see his baby girl graduate from high school.. or walk either one of his daughters down the eisle on their wedding days...

i just couldnt imagine loosing my father.. so i understand the hurt they must be going through...

 

i just ask that you keep me and my family... and my uncle in your thoughts and prayers over this weekend.. its not going to be easy.. but my family is strong and we will get through this... together.

 

if i rise on wings of a dawn

if i settle on the far side of the sea

even there your hand will guide me

your right hand will hold me fast... 

 

Ok, not the movie, buth the subject. You are probably thinking, "What is this girl talking about?" Well, today in geometry, Ms. Post said math was like a game. Once you figure out a problem, you've won the game. I told Carmen that I never win that game, and I'm going to die a horrible death, when I get a B on my report card. Then I was like geometry is like Jumangi, a never ending dang game. So yeah.

a conversation between me and nathan about sticks-n-stuff:
nathan: i never thought we would find anything at sticks-n-stuff
rachael: yeah
nathan: where else can you find a guy with a weird eye and a guy with a fish tale
rachael: he had a fish TAIL?!
nathan: a fish t-a-l-e
hahahahaha

yep that's me president of the freshmen women's choir...well co-prez.  whateveR!  YAY

oh and speaking of choir...i think i sing louder than the whole choir.  that's what it feels like anyway.  i would love to record a rehearsal and just see!  none of the altos sing...except me and sarah and we sound like the same dang person so you can never tell.  GRRRR.

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away"
- Will Smith in Hitch-

Yeshhh , i'm most def . in the computer lab rite now . lol . i'm sitting next to Tyler Lane and Emily Strawser . hehe . besties :] i'm in transistion to highschool . chyeahhh fun . lol nottttttttt :P anyways!  today has been a pretty good day . i guess , i went swimming in wellness and it was cold . lol . fanny like got out of the pool then fell . i was laughing so hard! :] lol  but anyways i'm completely bored and emily just told me i type to fast .lol buuuttt yeahhhhhh ..... theres pretty much nothing else to say ..... so uhmmmm "i'll be ur best friends and u'll be my, valentine...yes you can hold my hand if you want to...cause i wanna hold urs too. ." hahaha "big girls don't cry" :] lol .whitney elmore was just listening to that and now its going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day and i'm going to wake up after sleeping in class and yell big girls don't cry and i'm going to be all like ahhhh . and as you can tell i'm pretty much just babbling . which is rlyrly fun :] ppl are going to look at this and be like omg she has too much time on her hands. oohhhh i learned a new fact last nite .... here it goes . your stomach has to make a new film of mucus every two weeks or it will digest urself . so yeahhh . ewww . lol i'm sooo bored. and i want to go see jay :( grrr .... i think i mite be going to the football game today . idk why i'm even typing all this its not like anyone is acutally going to read it . but oh well . cause i like typing and i feel random today . i officaly dub friday random day . wwelllllll actualy every day is random day for me . lol yeahhhhhhhh. my hand hurts but i don't want to stop its like I"M IN THE ZONE! hahaha . :] but yeah i rly kinda sorta am def . in the zone :]]]] chyyeahhhh . what you know about dat?!?! lol i love that song . yeahhhh its 1:07 :P  can't wait till three o clock . whoa i almost typed click . i love that movie . but it made me cry ... yeah i cry too much . i'm emotional . blahhhh . whatever :] i'm bipolar.. thats all i know . lol. i'm shure emily thinks i'm retarded for writing this much . hehe :] now its 1:08 chyeahhhh . i know i'm good like that :] i type 87 words per min . i'm just so good. you dont even know mannne . lol i love jay . oh yeahhh . i do i do ido love youuuuu .ahahahhahahahahahahah. i'm making a funny face . hahahah and now deyontay is singing and i swear he should never even sing again . he's so bad .its like eew . but anyways i think i'm going to stop babbling now . byeee :]

Please pray for me. im haveing a hard time on some issues thats been happening. such as my cousin and friends that have past away. please pray for me. its hard again fo me. imveb een thinking about them alottt.

Paris Hilton. Britney Spears. Lindsey Lohan. Vanessa Hudgens. Kirsten Storms.

 

What do all these girls have in common? 

 

Well quite frankly, they're terrible role models for today's young girls.

 

Everyone is quite familar with the first three. Some may not know much about the latter two.

 

Vanessa Hudgens is pretty well-known, especially among pre-teens and teens. She is the leading lady in the very popular High School Musical movies, co-starring with her on and off screen boyfriend Zac Efron. She is a seemingly sweet and innocent girl, and only 18 years old, so I was quite shocked to discover that she had posed for nude photos that have crept their way to the Internet. In her apology she claims that she is sorry and embarassed about the pictures, but what I am still trying to figure out is why someone who is in the public eye would do something in private that, if exposed to the public, would be embarassing. But obviously the problem is that she wasn't thinking about it.

And then there's Kirsten Storms, who was better known to Disney fans a few years back when she starred in the Zenon movies. She currently voices a character for the Disney animated series Kim Possible and is also known for her role in a soap opera. Apparently she was arrested for DUI (gee, that seems to running rampant in Hollywood... I'm never making plans to drive around there). And what particularly upsets me about Kirsten Storms' charge is the fact that she is supposed to be a Christian. She was on the cover of Brio, a magazine for Christian teen girls, a few years back, and I was subscribed to the magazine at the time and thought it was so awesome that she was a Christian. And now she has ruined that reputation. Drinking (legally) is not inheritantly wrong, but getting drunk and then driving is a completely different story. 

 

It's always bugged me how much Americans idolize celebrities. They continously fail us. They divorce. They have affairs. They drive drunk. They do drugs. I'm not saying all celebrities do these things, but it does seem quite prevelant.  And lately, the focus of celebrity news has been on girls my age (give or take a few years). Adolescents are looking for a role model. They may not consciously realize it, but they are. They are trying to figure out who they are and form an identity, and they look up to older guys and girls. And when they see these girls and what they do... that's something that come to think is ok.

 

You would think these celebrities would have some respect for themselves, as well as for others. But they don't. They're just living in the moment, doing what feels good, trying to find something to satisfy them. They don't value the responsibility they have as being public figures. They have millions of dollars, all the stuff they could want, but they're miserable, and we IDOLIZE them! Why do we do that? Why do we admire people merely based off their riches, looks, or talents? Since when do these things matter more than a person's CHARACTER?  

 

I learned many years ago, after having a few role models, that people will disappoint you, whether they are in the public eye or the people you encounter in your life. Everyone makes mistakes. No one is worthy of being idolized. But there's nothing wrong with admiring somene's attributes, and we have to be so careful as to who we're admiring and what we're admiring about them. Just because someone is on TV, has great hair, and a lot of money, it does not mean they are a person that deserves admiration. I think many young girls fail to see that, however. It's not that they're shallow, it's just they like something about an actress or singer and decide they want to be just like her. 

 

I remember a couple of months ago I was in Fossil and they were playing the edited version of Avril Lavigne's song "Girlfriend". Now, I'm a fan of Avril's old stuff, but the message of (and the language in) this song just makes me cringe! Anyhow, a couple of girls that could not have been older than thirteen walked by me, singing along with the song. Now, if it had been "Complicated", I would not have been so concerned, but this song is all about a girl whining to a guy that she hates his girlfriend and trying to convince him that she would be better. Personally, that would not be a message I would want my thirteen year old daughter to be exposed to.

 

So it's not just the individual person, but the art they produce... whether it be music or movies. Some stars, like Natalie Portman, actually do a pretty decent job of selecting their roles carefully and trying to be a positive role model through their movie characters. If only everyone would put that kind of care and attention into what they did. What would even be greater was that if the media would reward and promote such behavior. 

 

But sadly, the headlines scream about the girls gone wild: the ones who get arrested, who party without panties, who pose nude. It fascinates us. It arouses our attention. It generates talk. I just wrote a really long blog entry about it. The celebrities are getting what they want: attention. It's what they crave, whether it be negative or positive. They don't care if it's affecting adolescents. Granted, they don't make girls go wild, and teens are not helplessly suspectible to or brainwashed by these stars, but it is most certainly affecting them and our society as a whole. 

 

I just hope new and young celebs won't fall into these same traps. I hope they will stand up for what's right. I hope they revolutionize the entertainment industry as we know it...  simply by their actions.

Three days have past since we dropped Jarred off in Texas.  Yes, it seems like an eternity.  I MISS YOU JARRED!

 

Please pray for Jarred. 

A lot of the time I will look at theknot.com or weddingbee.com to get inspirational ideas for my wedding. Right now, I'm not doing major planning because school and work on my life, but I like to get a few things accomplished.

 

This month I've been working on figuring out what hotels in our area are going to cost for our guests. I've managed to find a few good deals and later this month I'm going to call and set aside some rooms for our guests and wedding party people.

 

Another item I've been looking at is bridesmaid dresses. In my head, I know exactly what I want and so I'm just trying to find it in a reasonable price range and with sizes to fit all my girls. 

 

The thing that I find most annoying is that David's Bridal, where I got my dress, will not have their spring collection out until January... less than 5 months before my wedding. I would rather start making a decision before the holidays so my girl can be ordering their dresses before January. I've looked at a few places and the ones I've really liked are all from aftersix.com. 

 

I'm either going with clover or moss, I need to see the color in person.  

 

I'm excited to go and see the dresses with my girls and I'm excited to buy wedding invitations soon! Gray and I have decided what we want and now all we need to do is buy them and diy! 

well i'm taking a break from school and thought i would do this b.c there is nothing else to do :P oh yeah i'm coolJUST TWO THINGS...Two Names You Go By 1. Grace  2. Macy Gray (my sisters call me that for some RANDOM reason)Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now1. A Comfy T-Shirt2. And some Comfy Jeans ( i like to be Comfy)Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a relationship1. Someone that can make me laugh (i like to laughing) 2. And i suppose, someone that would think before they actedTwo of Your Favorite Things to do1. Pretty Much Anything With Horses2. Play at the play-ground ( oh so much fun )Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment1.  To Be DONE with School  2. To hang out with my oh so fantastic friendsTwo pets you had/have1.  Stanly (dog)2. Kate (Horse)Two people who will fill this out:1. No 12. No oneTwo things you did last night1.  School2. Went out to eat with some FANTASTIC people from my youth groupTwo things you ate today (yesterday)1.  Food... lol i dont know2. probably some more foodTwo People you last talked to1.  My sister (sarah)2.  My other sister (sam)Things You're doing tomorrow1.  school2.  and MAYBE camping (IF my mom says yes)Two longest car rides1. we drive every where we go..i'm not sure how long all the drives were so.... i'm not so sure 2.  Favorite Holidays1   Thanksgiving 2.  ChristmasTwo favorite beverages1.   WATER2.   Sweet Tea

random thought day.... leave me a random thought

 

here.

MOOD: HAPPY .. at the moment

OMGosh i love horses but it can hurt when you haven't riden in so dagum long. But Lilly and i had a LOT of fun riding the other day! I L-O-V-E the weather! it makes me so so so so so happy. I think i'm just really happy b/c i got to ride! Yeah my horse wasn't fantastic, BUT i haven't been riding her so she's not in shap so i'll give her some slack. I really and truly think God gave us horses so we could have a taste of Heaven. Well i wont make this long and boring, just thought i would tell you fanastic people what i've been up to :)

Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
I see the passion in your eyes
Sometimes it's all a big surprise
'Cause there was a time when all I did was wish
You'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned
But somehow it's enough

And now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place?
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last

All of the nights you came to me
When some silly girl had set you free
You wondered how you'd make it through
I wondered what was wrong with you
'Cause how could you give your love to someone else
And share your dreams with me
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for
Is the one thing you can't see

And now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place?
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last

Sometimes the very thing you're looking for
Is the one thing you can't see

Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last

You went and saved the best for last...

 

YAY i FINALLY got my ring!!!  (i had to get a size 4 1/2...cuz i have little fingers!)  it's garnet set in silver...SO BEAUTIFUL!!!  I can't stop looking at it!  yeah i know people probably don't really care...but i do.  so i thought maybe i would share with you the high point of my day.  well actually i made a prank call and it was really fun.  oh yeah the stone of the ring is garnet...SO AWESOME!

Well on friday i will no longer be on here. not for good. wont be on till prob monday morning. this weekend im going up to illnois. yeah never been up there before. we are going to visit my aunt and uncle... im kinda excited.!

       In other news i have a spanish test today. =( and im not ready to take it..

      My heart is acting up again i dont know whats wrong. its hurts. alottt of pain going threw it.=( so please pray that my heart get better. im being serious.

Gosh having my sister here is great. . . beach 4 times this week

GREAT TAN ha ha ha no burn

plus my neice is so big gosh i missed her 

School i think i am starting to do a little better. . . i am confident i will do good this year. . . its all the mind set 

Mmmm-kay I've been given a deadline to do something I DO NOT want to do. And I have discovered I don't have the physical, emotional, or mental capability to do it

i tried out for a play today... yay i didnt want to but thee teacher personaly came up to me and said corey will you promise me you will try out.. i was scared. but i did. yeah i heard from a lott of people i got a part. but idc. i just love it. yup

   wow today we had an fca meeting it was pack... god is working w/ out school!!

A light and entertaining exercise JJUST TWO THINGS...Two Names You Go By 1. Carmen  2. CarmTwo Things You Are Wearing Right Now1. Cut-offs...not short ones!!!2. A mood ringTwo Things You Would Want (or have) in a relationship1. someone i can trust2. humorTwo of Your Favorite Things to do1. ride horses2. anything to do with music or the artsTwo Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment1.  a new camera...a GOOD one 2. answers...Two pets you had/have1.  Pepper (dog)2. Sadie (THE BEST DOG EVER!!!)Two people who will fill this out:1. Probably no one2. Maybe tyler if he's bored enoughTwo things you did last night1.  Piano2. not talk to someone i really wanted toTwo things you ate today (yesterday)1.  pizza2.  CEREALTwo People you last talked to1.  hallie (in your dreams...haha no one gets that.)2.  shanaThings You're doing tomorrow1.  going to school2.  thisTwo longest car rides1. florida 2.  canadaFavorite Holidays1   Thanksgiving (also my b day)2.  Valentines DayTwo favorite beverages1.   Rootbeer2.   pure H20

as i realized last night after nearly breaking down on the phone with my dad.... i have no true focus in my life...

granted i have a major... but i don't even know if thats what im really want to do.. or what i'm actually going to do with that major....

ever since my old instructor came to me asking me to be apart of his new guard i have been doubting all my decisions over the past two years... 

when things went south with our guard my senior year and all this drama happened all i wanted was to get away from it... so it made my decision to come to ut a lot easier... but now i cant stop thinking about my life as a performer... i cant believe i gave up all my talent and passion... it kills me

more and more i have thought about transferring to mtsu....being in guard there and then matt's guard in nashville in the winter... but then i also think what am i going to do in 3-4 years... guard??? continue on with my major???? or something new...and if so what???

 

there is just so much in my head that i want to figure out and since i recently found out about my uncles condition it just made me think about how i should really be doing what i love and what makes me and what drives me to success....

 

now dont take words out of my mouth... i have made no decisions... this is just me blurting things out and trying to gain some sense of reason...

this weekend when i go home i'm going to have a lot of time to think and sort out all my problems and worries...

 

i just wish there was some clear sign as to what i should do.... i hate not knowing... and not being sure of what to do....

 

well time for reality...

 

till next time...

em 

i saw this article and about non traditional jobs for men, and teaching was one of them. here's the small note about it.

 

According to the National Education Association, of the 2.8 million teachers in the United States, only 24.9 percent are men, and only 9 percent are elementary teachers. And these numbers are declining every year.

Matt certainly is bucking the trend. A former Marine, Matt has been teaching first grade for the past five years. "I went into the education field because I witnessed my own children learn to read and I wanted to teach reading. Elementary education is both challenging and rewarding," he says. "This profession will wear you out, but there is no doubt that you can and will develop a sense of pride knowing that you have made a difference in the lives of your students."

 thats why i wanna do it. so i can have pride in what i do

 

piece

We had a friend of ours take some more engagement pictures. And here they are:

 

photo from becsaboo



photo from becsaboo



photo from becsaboo



photo from becsaboo



photo from becsaboo



photo from becsaboo



photo from becsaboo



photo from becsaboo



photo from becsaboo



photo from becsaboo

We're very happy with them. :)

 

I still can't believe I am getting married in under 8 months, it seems so surreal. 

 

how can this happen....

 why does this happen...

 

i just got off the phone with my dad... and my uncle's cancer is back but it has spread to his liver and lungs... he is still in the ICU and probably wont leave....

my dad said with the cancer he could live 3-6 months... but he has been having some complications with his blood pressure and heart rate and breathing so you just don't know what could happen...

 

it just sucks... hes such a great person with such a huge heart... i cant imagine our family without him....

 

i never imagined this year being easy... but i never imagined it sucking this much....

 

whats left of me....

 emily

i believe in angels...sometimes i wish i had one to always protect me.  i think i do.  :)

"In the arms of an angel, fly away from here...from this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear.  You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...You're in the arms of the angel...may you find some comfort here."

"Angel" Sarah McLachlan

That song is so beautiful...i love it and i'm gonna sing it.  it's my little 'safe song' i guess...i'm in the arms of the angel (and GOD!!!)

so i'm safe.

================================

Speaking of safe and angels, today is September the 11th.  I think we should all take a time to appreciate the people that fight every day to protect this country that doesn't always deserve what they give.  Take time to remember those lost and those that lived but grieve a loss.  Thank God that you weren't one to be lost.

well..... today is the very last day of my life as a teenager.

 

very very odd. 

very final sounding.

 

 do i magicly become responsible and.... adult?nothing changed magicly when i turned 18 

life is... life

 

breathe in. breathe out.forgetting either one is a serious problem. 

 

 

Muahahaha!! I have the new Within Temptation CD!!! Ahahahahaha!!

 

So yeah, I've benn plugging the old earbuds in when I have the chance ( I think I'm addictied to music). And it's really making me miss dancing, so if anyone knows where I might be able to get some cheap lessons...

So today I was faced with a big slap of reality. I realized friends don’t last forever and sometimes they dup you like your nothing. I don’t want this to be a "oh look at me...I’m so pitiful" kinda post. I just want to be over all this, I make on mistake and it changes EVERYTHING. I think back on it and if I hadn’t have done one thing...one simple thing... everything would be the same. Yeah I would be faced with this later on in the rode and I don’t regret what I did per say, I just wish things would have gone differently. Today was one of my top 20 worst bad days...yeah that might not sound all that bad, but I have had a LOT of "bad days" in my past 3 to 4 years so the top 20 is BIG. I sat in the car ( riding home from spanish with the Bakers and the twins ) and as soon as I get in that car....so MANY MANY good memories flashed back to me, baby sitting, times Lane and I dressed up and told the kids stories, times we run around the house singing as loud as we could and laughing but I also remember all the bad stuff. It was a lot to take in and then I realized it was all in the past, and when I look into my future, I don’t see any of those good times or bad times happening again. Pretty much almost all my friends from the past few years have ether stepped away or have pushed me to the outside of everything. Its not any of you guys on PhuseBox...just other people I know and have been friends with for so long time. I get the picture, I have to move on and start a new chapter in my life. I used to love starting a new chapter, but now, closing this chapter means saying good bye to some really good times.

Well I sound really stupid and you probably don’t agree with most everything I said, but I personally am over the whole people pleaser thing.

i cant believe that today is september 11th....

i'm not going to lie... i wish that whole year hadn't happened... it was quite possible the worst year of my life...

 

its so weird when you think about the past... i can remember so vividly the exact place i was when i found out what had happened.. it was so unbelievable.. at first i was like this has got to be a joke....and while we were watching it on the news our faculty freaked out about us watching it and made us turn it off... lame!

 

i remember slightly freaking out cause my dad was traveling that day.. but i talked to him and he was fine...

 

i remember everything changing from that moment on... not just in the security of our government but it seemed like everyone changed a little bit after that...

my family sure changed a bunch... especially after december....

 

its weird to think about what the world would be like if it had never happened... what my life would be like if it had never happened....

how would it be different????

 

i guess its not important to think about things like that since its not real life anyways...

 

well thats enough of my ramble for now...

 

back to the real world of studying for class....

 

till next time,

 

no excuses..

no appologies... 

no regrets....

 

peace, emily 

 

Man, Phusebox is getting pretty boring. lol  no one to talk to and no one besides Corey has posted in like the past day. Ha it might not seem like that much but its still boring ha ha. 

Nothing much is new for me. I am getting worse in school. . . so hard to focus on stuff especially PHYSICS curse Albert Einstine lol why does he have to be so smart. Then there is Algebra, Devils subject.

lol my school pretty much sucks and thats how it is lol

photo from LoweryKid

 

 

 

Twenty-going-on-twenty-one is an interesting time of life. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm halfway through college, less than two years away from "the real world". Maybe it has something to do with the fact that so many of my friends are engaged or married. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have close friends in their mid-twenties. Maybe it's knowing that those "B.S." classes are long gone and it's time to get serious. Maybe it's realizing that in my twenty years I've experienced a lot but there's a lot more I want to experience in the next twenty years before I look back and say, "What have I done with life now that it's halfway over?". Maybe it has something to do with the deaths of two loved ones this summer. Maybe I am just rapidly growing up while still being entrapped in a school setting and a still somewhat adolescent mind. I think it may be all of the above.

 

This semester is extremely uncomfortable. With the exception of the tight-knit family of Single Cam (as much as Michael Johnson scares me, at least I have the suport of the other 20 students in the class), I don't feel free to speak up in any of my classes. Last semester I felt extremely comfortable in my classes (maybe with the exception of one class). I feel more insecure and less confident, though I still believe very much in myself and probably have a much stronger support system of friends now than I ever have before. 

 

I don't really feel too much like me these days. I don't think I have a problem though. I'm not depressed. I'm just different. Not my personality, not my interests, not my ambitions, and not much else... really, just the degree of my circumstances. I think I am in an age of uncertainty. I'm certain I'm in the right major, the right minor(s), the right school, have the right friends, etc. I'm certain of my faith. I'm certain of my beliefs (be they theological, political, or whatever). I am not even sure if I am uncertain of anything in particular... I think I'm just suffering from an emerging adulthood crisis. I feel like I'm supposed to be out of my own, have money, be working, and married. Is that crazy?! I'm not ready for any of that (well, the latter two, not quite yet) but the time is coming (very soon)! 

 

I see myelf becoming more willing to take responsibility. Friday morning I sent a letter to the editor of the campus newspaper about a completely whacked out editorial based on complete fiction about where I work, and it was published in today's edition. I felt a little apprehensive about it at first, but the praise I have received for what I did is affirmation that it was right. Sometimes you have to take chances. It may not be the popular choice, but as the Fray so eloquently puts it, "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same". 

 

So all this rambling just to say I feel different, and almost uncertain, but for no obvious reason. But I really think it's because a lot of things are changing in my life in regards to family (deaths), friends (new ones), work (new system), and school (a different level in my classes). And just like every other new stage of life, I will just have to learn to adjust and adapt. I guess I just never thought this would be one of those times. It just goes to show we never know what's right arond the corner.  

   Well i had soo much fun sunday! I went to church.. fun! Then after church i went to a pinic w/ an other church. i meet this girl that is a cheerleader from dickson i think. she is really nice. well the pinic was at mountgromery bell park. well after we get there it starts to rain. i was really glad it was we started to play in it and we went down by the creek/river.. well i had an idea MUDFIGHT! well we started throwing mud it was everywhere... and alott of fun! i wish i had my canrea but i forgot it. im gonna start caring it everywhere i go.. lol but i wish i took pictures.. =( me and katie was coveredin it. but shes a really nice girl and a christian!... wow but anyways theirs my great sunday!!

            Thanks god for answering my prayer!!

                 about the rain and stuff.. lol

turning from the radiance and walking toward the shadows
is something i had done for so long…
i thought i had lived my life long enough to be capable
of telling the differentiation amid the two
but i couldn't have been more mistaken in life.
i had no initiative to where i was going or what i was doing
and i still don't to this day.
i permit myself to saunter so far into the obscurity that now,
i don't even know the way out.
i reach for assistance and can't locate it anywhere
it's almost as if i'm out here unaccompanied…waiting for something
either something good or something appalling. i have no idea.
i let my thoughts get the best of me
and now i let them go far enough to baffle me
and i don't know what to do, or even what to believe.
i have been performing like i'm utterly in the light
and people are persuaded that i am in the illumination…
but i couldn't be farther from it.
i'm so far past that position, that i don't even know where i'm located at the moment.
if there was something to point me in the right course,
i wouldn't even have adequate intellect to know where it pointed.
i'm so misplaced and misdirected and no one can tell
so no one attempts to stretch out a hand and aid.
only the times i collapse is when people can tell
that i'm really not all right..and i used to be a reasonably strong individual
which is why i don't collapse habitually.
although it seems to be occurring more and more now.
perhaps one of these days i will be able to come across the way out
and maybe one of these days i will obtain my life back
i will have my contentment, my smile, my happiness back
when i can take pleasure in living life.
because right now i don't have anything to look forward to
nothing to look back on and remember
nothing to smile about, too much to weep about
and i don't know how to handle it all.
so many emotions that are and aren't flowing at the same time
leaves me bewildered at all times.
it's so perplexing that i don't even experience emotion
so confused that i don't even have anything to think about
because everything is so mixed up in my mind.
my mind that has been beleaguered for years.
i've been trodden, left to expire, and not cared about
i don't know why anyone would care now.
it just doesn't make sense.
people state they comprehend it all when they, in reality, don't.
they have NO idea what it's like to suffer this way
they don't know what it's like when you have no one to turn to
and you don't have a shoulder to shed tears on
and you don't have people you can just converse with about anything
mostly, when it feels like you don't fit in anywhere
you feel like an orphan, a stray.
not many people have felt this before
and i don't know why i had to be one of them…
will i ever discover my way out of this total obscurity?
will i ever be able to exist again?
will i ever be able to feel like i belong?
these are all questions that i reflect on all the time
but i don't know when any of them will be answered.
if you don't truly want to assist, don't talk to me.
i must uncover my true friends, if i have any
and work on trying to get out of this place of anguish
before it gets too out of hand and i'm here for eternity.
for those of you who played games with my mind,
thank you for letting me get to this point.
thank you for not doing anything.
thanks so much for pushing me to the edge.
now i'm here…waiting…for something, someone…

We got our first report card today. I happy with my grades.

Geometry 95

English 100

Journalism 100

Wellness 99

Although I could do a little better in geometry. If I can only keep my grades that high, and bring up geometry, I'll be doing great.