I think people are afraid to release themselves while singing to Jesus. I think this, because I know this to be true. I know this to be true because I used ((and am still working on not staying)) someone like this. Being raised in a church of Christ conditioned me to maintain a certain behavior while singing in church. Before I go any further, let me make sure this my readers understand that I am in no way putting the churches of Christ down. I'm a member of North Boulevard, and I love it. What I'm saying is that when many members of the CoC sing, there's no movement, there's no lifting of the hands, there's no passion. . . at least, that's what it feels like a lot of the time. I remember the first several times I went to Belle Aire the sight of people lifting their hands weirded me out. I didn't really understand why people did it. After several more visits to Belle Aire and going to a Passion concert, I realized that I couldn't help lifting my hands when I sang to Him. It just came naturally. I was flooded with worship, with His love, with His glory, and my arms would go up. That doesn't happen when I'm at church. This isn't to say that I have never worshipped like that in a CoC setting before-- there have been several times at True North and RFC that I have, but it's not as common. Why isn't it as common? It's not like it's some big sin to lift your arms to Christ-- heck, it's all over the Psalms. I don't know. I'm listening to a Passion cd and it got me thinking about all of this. We're made to worship Christ, that's why when we're so lost in Him that we lift our hands and sing with such fire and passion. We just can't help it. . .

There's a certain slant of light,
On winter afternoons,
That oppresses, like the weight
Of cathedral tunes.

Heavenly hurt it gives us;
We can find no scar,
But internal difference
Where the meanings are.

None may teach it anything,
'Tis the seal, despair,-
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the air.

When it comes, the landscape listens,
Shadows hold their breath;
When it goes, 't is like the distance
On the look of death.
     ~Emily Dickinson

Most would consider love a hopeless endeavor.
I the optimist say "never and forever"
Others say love is false promise
I the optimist say "never and forever"
Some say love is a dead art
I the optimist say "never and forever"
All ask me the optimist how my answer will never sway
I the optimist had this to say
Love is always the same
"Never" what man can see
,But "Forever" waiting in the eyes of an optimist like me.

Im writing this for all you optimistic lovers. Keep dream'n them blue dreams. Peace.

Well, another day.  At least I'm alive, that's something to be grateful for.  I never did get those cookies.  I was all emotional for that 5.6 seconds.  I really need to cut my hair and I really need some suggestions for how it needs to be cut.  I'm a guy, I have no idea about style or hair.  I have just been letting grow for over a year.  So any feedback on the subject will be greatfully appreciated.

The process was slow and painful for the poor fellow:

He was a good...no, great snowman.  We shall miss you Gigantor.  May you rest in peace.

lookin at prom dresses on ebay...

how awesome is that! ^^ Rachey likey! lol

oo ^^ pretty

not exactly what i want but RAINBOW ^^

i want either a red, purple, or rainbow dress ^^

Whats Up Phusebox? Me, Nothing Much Just Chillin In Class... We Watching Movies And Eating Food In Class... But Anyways We Still Having Fun... But This Fun That I'm Having Right Now Ain't Gonna Even Compare To The Fun Ima Have This Weekend... Oh, There Is Gonna Be A High School Skate Night At The Skate Center West Friday @ 6 PM... Be There, Hopefully All Of Your Friends Will Because I Heard It Was Gonna Be Packed With People... And I Found Out What My Cousin Wanted To Do... He Said He Just Wanted Me To Come Over And Chill This Weekend... But I Don't Know, Well I Might If I Dont Get Too Caught Up In All Of These Plans That Im Tryna Do Because There Are So Many Things That Im Tryna Do This Weekend... And That Girl I Was Telling Yall About That Was On That Bull****, Is Still On That Bull****... She's Tryna Act Like She Don't Hear Me Calling Her In The Hallways, It Like She Tryna Ignore Me... But Its Aiight... I Already Know That She Isn't The Only Girl In The World That I Could Try To Get With So It Really Doesnt Matter To Me... Well, Im Finna Go Enjoy The Rest Of The Party, And Next Period, We Are Ordering Pizza So I'll Write Again Soon... See Ya...

I read thiss sign in my teachers classroom it really made me think so i wanted to share it with u guys it said:

you are not a failure if you have weaknesses you fail by giving into them.

....................think about it.....................................

so anyways still writin poetry i've had writers block but i'm begginning to get my ideas back.............i dunno that happens sometimes......but i have this one poem no matter how hard i try the right words never seem to come out and i can't make my oems what i really want them to be....................the only time i can write is when i'm sad,its then when my poems start to shine.

brandi

What are your Dreams?

                                 Guuuuurrrrrrrrrrrggggggguuuuggggguuueeeee

"I took their smiles and I made them mine
I sold my soul just to hide the light
And now I see what I really am
A theif, a whore and a liar."

B4 THE ACCIDENT

AFTER THE ACCIDENT

R.I.P ~The Notorious B.I.G~

I think im sick.. My glands feel like oranges on the side of my neck I took some tylenol last night...but, i woke up and i felt worse..i didnt want to stay home..because my grandma (step-dads mom) passed away last night, and my step dad is flying out today to Minnesota...so i just went to school and hope that i get better.. i think i need some hugs!! Yeah i went to church last night with my best friend Ashlee..I got to see one of my old friends Kenny!!! Yeah it was awesome. But, yeah last night was pretty kick butt but, spending time with one of my best friends is always fun!! I love you Ashlee!! Anyways im going to my dads friday morning and staying there til sunday..so i fend to have a great weekend, and i hope all you guys have a great one too!

Two Names You Go By
1. Kelly
2. Sulli

Two things that scare you
1. Spiders.  You have no idea.
2. Letting my guard down.

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Mascara
2. Laughter

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. AE Jeans
2. A M*A*S*H* 4077^th t-shirt

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. Rilo Kiley
2. Bowling for Soup

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You
1. Hair
2. Eyes

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Renaissance festivals
2. Theatre

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. For the judge to expunge my driving record and all associated fines or fees.
2. About 5 yards of sky blue duppioni silk

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Paris, France.
2. Los Angeles

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Visit every continent, or at least travel around the world.
2. Visit Paris.

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. Janey’s surprise-birthday cake.
2.

Two people you haven't talked to in a while
1. Elizabeth (GSH 2005 roomie!)
2. Edan.

Two Favorite Sports
1. Fencing.
2. Gymnastics.

Two things you did last night
1. Played Egyptian Rat Screw at Starbucks.
2. Ate ramen noodles.

Two shows you like to watch
1. Um… I don’t watch TV.  No, seriously.
2.

Two places you like to go to:
1. Nashville.
2. Washington, D.C.

Two Favorite Subjects In School:
1. English
2. French IV

Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Ru-Sans {an excellent sushi bistro in Nashville}
2. Applebee’s?

Two people that live in your house:
1. Caroline.
2. Victoria.

Two things you like about yourself (physical):
1. My feet in really high heels.
2. I’m fairly neutral about the rest.

Two things you ate today:
1. Janey’s cake.
2. Coffee.

Two people you last talked to:
1. Lexi.
2. Daniel.

Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. Going to rehearsal (arg).
2. It would seem things have morphed into a Cool Springs venture, lol.

No school tomorrow = much sleep for me.

I love sleeping in! I might get to see a play Saturday and on Sunday I'm gonna see Siegel's play. I'm so excited!!

New York in one week! I'm so happy!!

yes..................no school tommorow i am so syched!!!! anyways i am incredibly happy today!!hum.......thats wierd oh umm i think i have finally got over the boring unexciting part of being single, until i find a guy i don't care......i'll be happy alone who needs boys to make you happy anyways....well me....(lol) anyways i saw the coolest guitar today i so feel in the big L word.......love.....it was the coolest thing ever. ummmmumumumumummum...........i love my church we have some really cool people there like last night i went and was all just walkin around and saw brian and he was all like hey you wanna talk and i din't even say anything it was like he just knew.......kinda creepy, but anyways it felt good to have someone to talk to again and someone to trust........it makes me happy to see there really r cool people still left in the world.....not much more to write so i will catch u guys laterz,

brandi

nothing to say today....

well I had an interesting experience at work yesterday

Yall today may be thursday... but it really is like a friday!!!  Jeaaa Jeaaa!!  Yall I will have to agree with sara.. that inservice day is the greatest invention!!   So tommorow will be game night or somethin at jrotc so i hope ya peps come!!!  come on ya crackers lets all just have fun...  Sieze the moment.. if you are down, let your eyes open up because life is grand and not worth keeping your head down because their is so much to see so much to do in this world..  

Much luv ...

WE HAVE TWO HOES IN THIS CLASS ROOM AND THEY SIT RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!

I want someone I can say this to:
"There is something I want to tell you.
I could spend the fun times with anyone,
but when I'm sad, yeah,
no one else can take your place.

Even just in your dreams,
even in troubled times,
I don't want you to forget me.

Freedom in the right hand, Love in the left
We'll walk on, embracing both, and stumbling from time to time."

they are lyrics from an Ayu song called UNITE!.

You Are: Jason Varitek









You are the heart and soul of the Red Sox. You are willing to put you money where your mouth is when it comes to the Sox, and if needed, a little glove to the face too! You call Fenway your second home, though you would probably live in the bleachers if you could. Be proud, you are a true Red Sox fan! Congrats!

http://www.quizsoup.com/red-sox.php

Holyyy crapp.
This guy at school has a dean guitar...
And I heard somebody playing 'cemetary gates' from somewhere.
I was in Awe.
:DDD
I must say..it made my day.

Ashley

SHE MAKES ALL FEMALES LOOK REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD!!!!

RYAN YOUNG IS A BACK SEAT HOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Na na na na na na! lol yay i am going to sleep in til at least 8 lol! everytime i try to sleep in i cant.juss makes me feel like im sleeping away my time off ya know? ever do that? get up early and good to bed late just to live your vaction to the upmost fullest? i know you do! i not that strange lol

hey

ok so yesterday i lent my jacket to spencer and it had my rings in it now i have no clue where my puzzle ring that dad got for me i saudi arabia is

if you find it around school give it to me

please

That is a familiar phrase that you hear on American Idol.  And Man, I didn't know that life in Hollywood could be that great.  Jennifer and I deceided top take a California Tour over Spring Break and OUr stop today was Hollywood.  It was a blast.  It's not like y ou would think it would be, but it is still great. 

We had an opportunity to go see American Idol, but then it was full, so they gave us tickets to The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.  We gladly accepted them and was a part of the the audience.  We heard two awesoe performances by Train and Fiona Apple.  They didn't have anybody extremly famous on, but still was a fun show.  I wish that we had got home earlier so I could have told you to watch for us.

We also saw some people's homes here in Hollywood.  Like, Ozzy's, 50 Cent, Julia Roberts, Marilyn Monroe, Sean Connery, Usher, and my favorite of all.........THe house from Fresh Princeof Belle Aire!!  Holla!!  I will have pictures to come, but too late and too much time to try and format for phusebox. 

Hope all is having a good Spring Break,(for those in college) and if you arein High School, you will soon enjoy. 

Shelby, Out

Met with Ann Pitini today, the area manager, whatever that means.  She was cool, told me what I had to do to clear up the infraction and all that jazz.  Turns out Derek knew before I told him, which kinda takes a load of my chest but not really, for I still owe 125 via check/money order.  The check's impossible; my parents would flip if I told them the real reason why.  I'll have to find some way to get a money order.

I had a dream that I was arguing with everyone from FWC about my problems, something to the effect of what exactly had been going on.  My dreams are never very specific in my memory.  It's like I interpret them from the get go, and those concepts qualify what I remember of the dream.  I ended up arguing with Rebecca along the course of my dream (imagine that).  In other words, it's like my dream was forcing me to come to terms with what was and now what is, if that makes any sense at all.

Speaking of FWC, I don't really wanna go back there at all anymore.  It'd be awkward with this phusebox and all.  At least the smart ones would ask questions that is.  I'm just honest on this journal of sorts.  Second of all, I think of what's gone on there is bullshit, not to exclude other more deserving places.  In all honesty, I think the main driving factor of that place is a collective group of people who've attended there for a long time, or maybe not.  Maybe it's the other way around.  I may piss you off, but I don't care.  I've attempted to say in the open through subtlety what would be inappropriate in those same venues to say with tactless speech and wayward wording.  Problem is, Turning Point is only better or worse for this, but what am I saying?  Who knows truth anymore?

Churches are only well-equipped for ministry when they realize that the oversaturation of men's involvement/thinking in the work of God is counterproductive to the eventual goals for that kingdom of Heaven for which they work; however, the difficulty lies in the assumption that places of oversaturation exist just not in the church in which such corruption is mentioned.  If don't understand this, fuck you. 

Anyway...Such has been my dealings with most churches, i.e. FWC and FRBC as well as several others.  The levels vary, depending usually on the involvement of the key members.  Larger churches, I believe, would not tend to have such problems because they are forced to rely on structured settings to begin with--the difference would be neglible.  Spirituality in those cases is more remote altogether in dealing with ecclesiastical issues; so I guess you could say the problem exists but in an inextricable form.  A harmony is formed, an understanding of the size of the church and the lack of individual involvement in key church issues.  This also means that such issues can be covered up easily by the bureaucracy that be in such cases, but these larger bodies are not so much my concern as the places I'm involved in.

My problems with FWC, quite frankly (again not excluding others but hey this is my opinion block), is that rod needs to be ripped from the asses of the bureaucracies involved there.  Because it wasn't, division was created.  Those involved know that division well enough for me not to rehash the clear infractions on the parts of both parties.  If you don't get it or how both parties fucked up, you're probably a bumbling dipshit anyway, or 8 years old, so it doesn't matter.

Anyway, at the time I was involved in FWC teen Bible quiz program.  For one stupid thing they enforced was this crazy notion that all tournaments could not be sanctioned if they conflicted with a church service.  Seeing as how Bible quiz in the southeast part of the country sucks relative cock, this statement alone was proverbial blasphemy.  Obviously we were getting the Bible, I mean, I memorized all the fuckin books I attempted to memorize (fucking is ironic, but not as ironic as you).  Second, no one bothered to memorize all of the said material except me and sometimes Josh, when he felt like it: this excludes concordance material, about which no one really gave a damn save my dad, because I couldn't figure out a good way to memorize such things quite honestly.  Towards the end, obviously, I was getting kinda pissed.  To memorize all that without any help whatsoever sucked, despite the fact that I didn't even give it all of my time.  Plus, the cliques of tbq nationals weren't much into obliging sensible people.  The national championship is riddled with closeminded imbecile children with harsh imaginary rules and worse temperaments.  But for all this criticism, I do say I did have fun most of the time while doing it; but obviously, these things I've said overcame that enjoyment enough to push me out of the program.  I do not deny the importance of such a program in the Christian faith for any denomination, and the game attached to it makes it more reachable for people.  People fashion for themselves labels for people, which I guess in some cases I have, but do so with reason hopefully that you will understand my case, and not do the same for me.  The problem is that the problems shared a small minority as far as the program was concerned until the battles over the distribution of funds as well as various rulings came to a simmer.  My parents abandoned the program for idealistic conflicts with the leadership in place and furthermore the church for the same reasons.  The ideals of the leaders did not promote necessarily the best of the best; instead, tbq was used more as do what you want social time in comparison to my parents views.  I do believe now that a balance between those is attainable and affable in the grand scheme of things, but in this case, the program simply did not put out as much as it could.  We dicked around with it to an extent.  Also, the funds were distributed likewise according to these socialist ideals.  Funds were partial to parts of the program that favored more involvement as opposed to reward for progress.  Such ideals eventually carried over to the Fine Arts program, but TBQ by far is a better example of these facts.

Truth is, FWC embraced ideals that favored more control by a few and less say by those it aspired to help through pacification of the people by paying everyone the same respect judicially.  Unfortunately, this balance did not coexist with sensible ideals.  If one imbalances funding for seed as opposed to maturation, one's crop results in dying young species.  Obviously, after my parents left, the program lasted one more year, and subsequently died.  No help existed because obviously funding for said party time (or practice time) outweighed the continuation of such results to nationals.  Everyone relied on those share and share alike techniques to reach fruition and did not.

In other words, you can't dole out money for a program that doesn't do anything.  So yeah, you have a lot of kids in your program, but no one cares if they don't do anything.  If you don't reward memorization, and instead reward half-assing shit right before a tournament, no one will do anything and that's what happened.  My parents were gracious enough to say, "Ok, it's your ball: roll with it," and step out.  But then it was abandoned.  You can't have your cake and eat it too.  They were aspiring to do greater things with that program, but that didn't happened.  Apparently, letting people take care of their respective lots in a way they see fit as a form of management is inappropriate to some people.

You dipshits, you are the same people who kicked out Roy Stone for not understanding what his dreams and aspirations were.  You'll get nothing from God, b/c God sends people your way and you kill them.  Instead, God sends you people who keep you in the dark and keep you from stretching beyond your comfort zone.  So you sit around idle all the time.

You're the same people who don't take the ministry of God seriously.  You have ideas, but God doesn't enter into those.  You're the ones who cared more about getting to Fine Arts Nationals than actually doing well in what God has helped you to do.  You assholes, you would've been better off had you lost, but now you are delusional for your own grandeur.

I hate these people who don't question, who never ask, who just sit around and let the mundane sweep them off their feet.  It's pathetic.  I've dealt with it enough to vomit.  No offense, but I want to offend you.  What ever happened to signs and wonders will follow you?  What ever happened to quality craftmanship?

But what am I talking about?  No one listens and no one understands...

I heard a kid tripped on x; no seriously, his chains felled his legs right over the spot of his comatose girlfriend.  Pompous windbag that I am, never seem to eat anything but spam.  I called up my girlfriend: she said God told her to, then I said fuck you, God told me two things about you.  You're a whore and so's that church your ex-boyfriend went to.  Said he tripped into porno, then confessed he was horno.  Are you into sex?  I know I am; I've extrapolated from the Bible all that can.  I even masturbated to the Song of Solomon, if you believe that.  Well, what's the difference?  Your reverence for God makes no cents, either, if you believe her of him, depending on the gender of a general sex offender who paid indulgences to make sure the priest would never tell, neither would the child he molested, that he was a child molester.  But if you're celibant and made that sacrifice, why do you sacrifice issac on your sexual palette.  Well, Andy Stanley, and Pat Robertson said it, it must be true to form, always stupid and fucked up just like worm Kahn put in those guys on that one star trek movie no one saw, b/c they were too busy praying about a witnessing opportunity that God just gave when their friend said that he wasn't sure where he'd when he'd die and you just stood there like what trying to avoid the dumbfuck because you're a superficial bastard.  Yeah, that time.  But I'm only here cause Pat Robertson kicked me out of Venezuela after he killed the girl I impregnated to by saving her baby then sending her husband to a war in a country for oil.  Then he died.  Then she commited suicide because the church only gave fried chicken for a week.  Said something about she was whore, or a little more, when the pastor knocked up her door.  Maybe that wasn't my baby anymore.  After all this, trust me, I've made as much art as the kid's girlfriend who tripped on x after she inhaled glass shards for an hour took off her clothes after making me promise I wouldn't do it til I proposed.  Wow, that was awkward I told her.  That bitch wasn't even hot.  I was just that ex-boyfriend, totally misguided and missing the point.

why do i think that my pain will take away the pain of others?

why is it that as we get bigger (older) our dreams get smaller.  Why can't I still want to be a princess and live in a castle?  We want to be rich, atronauts, presidents, surgeons....etc.  at first. Then we just want to have a lot of money,  work for NASA, be vice-presidents, and nurses.  We grow up and become people who get by paycheck to paycheck,  watch the discovery channel, vote (occasonally), and visit the doctor.   When did we lose faith in ourselves?  We are brought into this world with a destiny I believe that.  However, I think we see a different vision sometimes than God had intended.  I refuse to stop dreaming.  I refuse to lose the inspiration for great living.  Now is the only time we have left. 

i watched you venture
the pass looked so tempting
standing tall, above waters
standing still, and there glistening
but little did i know
you'd reach the middle then jump
i stood and watched helpless
and my throat grew a lump
i wish God gave me wings
to catch you....

i love my friends...
they make me laugh...

a lot.
=]

HAYLEY AND LALA!!

I am pretty sure i LoVe THIS GIRL!!!

possibility of DESTIN for spring break......

<3

passed the test today!!....one more to go tomorrow. :)

so ive recently been looking for new venues to play at around louisville, and trying to book more shows and blah blah blah. anyways.....i happen to walk into this resturant - tijuana flats- which is like a moes  or a qdoba if you have any of the you know what im talking about. so i ask the manager if they ever had an live music come through there. and apparently they were in the midst of trying to get a live music program started. so.... he offered me an open date for show (which is saturday the 18th at 7-10 o clock). he also called me back today and said he spoke with the district manager (manager of all three tijuana flats in louisville) and hes going to come watch me and the girl i play with and if we do good they want to put us on a regular schedual at all the tijuana flats. thats freaking awesome, especially considering that on our first show, which is basically an audition show were each taking home 100 bucks. even though its still a week and a half away wish me luck...cause i gotta play my ass off to get that regular scheduel....

So, about an hour and a half ago, my head got this ready-to-explode feeling.  Not in the I-have-a-massive-headache kind of explode, more like the my-entire-head-needs-to-sneeze.

Not just my nose.  My mouth, my eyes, my throat, my ears, my brain... they all need a good sneeze.

I don't understand!  I've been taking my allergy medicine like I'm supposed to, but everything still hurts and I'm still coughing like mad.

*cries bitterly*

Spring can be teh suck sometimes.  One good thing about it: my birrrfday!  April 4th.  Write in on ya calenda, sucka!

Yeah...so I never thought I would say this but taking these four girls...

home is so much friggen fun.  Listening to Hawk Nelson blaring and screaming at the gang fights in the church parking lot and all.  Yeah...taking four freshman girls home was fun.  You heard me. 

Have a great night kiddos, especially my sister, Kylie, Emilee, and Destanie.

Four pretty darn cool girls.

peace out mah homies!

"take me under Your wing tonight...make me so precious in Your sight..."


::b

Formal is in like 2 days! woot woot! besides that Life is awful.....too many problems, stress, and pressure! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! IT STinks

...Today I made up tests at school because I was out Monday. Hrm. I feel terrible. It sucks having an upper respiratory tract infection. I just woke up from a nap. I'm sooo weak. Anyone ever had one of those? I've taken medicine and everything. It's not getting betterrrr. Help! Lol.

Allergy season when the weather starts changing sucks...

Wow and nothing is helping right now either. Oh and I got tomorrow at 3:30 to go see Dr. Langworthy about my back troubles.. Wish me luck.

Whats up? well nothing much has really happened, i am going to be in a play at school so thats kind of cool i guess, lets see this friday i might go play basketball with Aaron again at MAC. today i went on a field trip and only had to go to 2 classes so thats cool well i g2g

Andrew

so today wasn't all that bad. We have pics 2moro. O well tho. I can't wait to go to skewl 2moro. I get to see Randy. I really like him alot. Well ummm idk if he likes me but i hope he does. Well yeah i'll try to get a pic of him for yall. So ne ways imma see if maybe this weekend me and my Keisha can hang out. Oh by the way imma get pic's of Keisha and Brannon too. Imma try to get a pic of Debbie also. I can't wait till me and mouse can hang out. Mouse is my brothers ex that i love oh so very much. She's so kewl.

It's words you forget to anniversary songs. The bottles bite back, your tolerance wrong. Your good intentions count for little anymore; if you're sorry, why wage war?

Im not fully convinced there's something wrong with this. Could another point of view, biased and untrue, tear me away from you?

Will you be my Valentine if I'm a world away? Apologies are breaking me; constants aren't so constant anymore.

Two days to wait for calls to come through: tonight for me translates to yesterday to you. You bend and you wave; you're barely awake. Wish I could say tonight, when you bend and wave goodbye, "take me with you!"

Will you be my Valentine if I'm a world away? Apologies are breaking me; constants aren't so constant anymore.

Will you be my valentine? (if im a world away)
Will you be my valentine? (if im a world away)
If I'm a world away (if im a world away)
If I'm a world away (if im a world away)

Constants aren't so constant anymore.

mrs. o'steen made us read this short story. it had a part that really hit me. it said, "my heart's my own prison." these feelings don't allow me to even think.

"Scars"

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

SPRING IS HERE! I love spring! This week has been REALLY good! Despite some of the crazy things life has thrown at me including getting injured in my left arm this week (but that is certainly not the worst thing), I have still yet to get depressed, which I owe to the one and the only GOD!! LoL I didn't really intend to give anything up for Lent but I think I did anyways and that would be being depressed and I don't think I will stop with Lent. Looking forward to being off of school on Friday. That is about it! ttyl

miss Duncan left us with mrs gauger for a substitute and mrs gauger gave me write offs for something i didnt do.she sid that i was talking.o well.well talk to you guys later

WARNING: Lots of pictures!

Anna and I took a little trip downtown, and we noticed that near the library, there are some rules:

But we didn't follow them very well...





And back at my place...


We're naughty girls...

You're making a mess

SOmething i cant fix

this time you're on your own

Id make it alright

but i wouldn't get it right

im leavin it alone

FOr crying out loud

cryin' outloud

cryin' out

you're cryin' out

Yeah

You're making a mess

is that what you do best?

Is madness just a hand me down?

It's any one's guess

but i must confess

this performance isn't that profound

Yeah

I'm waiting for the end

waiting to begin again

You're making a mess

something you cant hide

a slow suicide

just one bite at a time

I should love you less

but i can't i guess

only God can save us now

Cryin' out

Yeah

once again copying from xanga

but i like this post..

my motto ? "fun." yeah. thats dumb immature childish but whatever. u live life and then u die, right.. well so why dont u live life and have fun. dont worry about gettin cancer or aids or anything b/c you are gonna die eventually.. some just die quicker.. this isnt the best way to live, i suppose, not caring about certain things.. but this is me. there are different aspects to SARAH LOUISE SALYER and this is one of them that its taken me a while to figure out. <3

please leave.. remarks [i always have to check what it is to leave b/c i have so many online things haha how lame] and if not then o well you`re stupid i guess

i`ve been calling everybody stupid lately, so take no offense to it.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

http://www.myspace.com/artistic_beauty
GO GO GO!!!

Last week was amazing. Between Making spagetti and fazolies breadsticks for my whole 3rd period, stealing cokes outta the teachers work room, boys sneaking out of windows, kroger power shopping, car races, evil scamming, boys talking about me in the boys bathroom, uncontrolable laughter, lots of hugs, snugglin....and best of all

The guy ive liked for quite some time asked me out. It was adorable. Nervous...cute

There was no time or reason to be upset.

This week. The Dissapointment set in. I found out a secret i wasnt suposed to know just yet. That guy has to move. TO FUH KIN WYOMMING!!! gah.

And everybody wonders why i dont like to get close to guys.

The only guy ive ever truely fell in love with...Had to move to Chatanooga with his sister. I miss him like hell and theres nothing i can do about it. Now that im finally getting close to Tyler...he finds out he has to move.

I think im destined to be a single for life.

What are you doing during Spring Break? Of course MTSU has given us a break while we are still in Winter which makes a lot of sense! LOL! HAVE FUN AND STAY FOCUSED!!!

Let's see how well you guys really know me!!!

Garrett's Quiz

Results: Which Boston Red Sox Player Are You?

You Are: Johnny Damon

You are the easy going, fun loving Red Sox fan. You take things as they come and try to have a good time. Nothing really gets you down. But when the Yankees are in town, you are willing to let your hair down and rise to the occasion. Whenever you encounter a tough situation, you ask yourself, "What Would Johnny Damon Do?"

Take the Red Sox Player Quiz!

Well isn't that odd....considering Johnny Damon used to be my boy but now he is a freaking TRAITOR!!!!!!!!!

Fort Minor - Remember the Name

God will make a way,

Where there seems to be no way,

He works in ways we cannot see,

But He will make a way for me.

He will be my guide,

Hold me closely to His side,

With love and strength,

For each new day,

He will make a way,

Yes, He will make a way for me.

Mmm...thats that song.

" I have told you these things, so that in Me you may find PEACE. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."

John 16:33

Its going to be okay...I know where i'm suppost to be, and God will make a way for me...

Ever had a day where everything just feels right.  like yesterday was bad, but today has been wonderful for like absolutly no reason.  maybe its true that colors effect your mood, cuz im wearing a bright yellow shirt.  or perhaps its from how amazingly beautiful it is outside today.  Life just seems so wonderful.  in fact that just made me think of a song...

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

it truly is a wonderful world, is it not?

I've escaped figure study. I stopped drawing people an hour ago, and instead drew a racoon.

It's amazing how everyone here thinks they're so unique, but to me - they all look the same. Everyone is alike in trying to be as different as they can. On a bigger scale, our entire society is obsessed with personal identity, but no one seems to have it.
And Watkin's students' attitudes towards their teachers cracks me up. Everyone marvels at everything an instructor says, never stopping to think, "Hey, maybe 4, 8, or how ever many years they were in college doesn't mean anything. Maybe they don't know any more than I do."

Spring Break next week. I'll be having my wisdom teeth taken out on the first day, though.

Oh, Andrew and I moved this weekend. Most everything is already unpacked and in order aside from a few stray boxes here and there. We brought our cat over on....Sunday night, I think. She seems to be adjusting well. But I worry she'll go crazy not being able to go outside the way she could before. I try to keep her entertained as much as possible.

In 10 minutes my class is over and Andrew gets off work. He'll be home a good 30 minutes before me, so maybe he'll make dinner. I better go. I hope all is well.

Hellow everyone!
what's up.. i'm guessing it's good.. and yeah.. i'm bored and typing this out on mr.'s computer.. yeah.. hey megan if you get it.. i can't do it. and tyler and johnny guys watching me do it.. and ugh! it's like lunch and there's nothing to do.. well, me and claire lost 6-3, 4-6, 3-6.. sad too.. i wanna cry.. and tyler is like teasing me on how i type and how i played last night. =( well, alot are going on and i'm not gonna tell.. haha.. okay adios!..

yes i know...i complain way to much....but i really am frustrated with myself for pushing people away. but what else am i supposed to do? trusting someone is hard for me. i wish i could easily trust people but i don't know....i just went completely blank.

hey people,

well i am going away for this weekend
i'll be up north visting some family....
yeah i'll be in a middle of nowhere again
lol
well anyways i hope evryone has a good weekend

soo yeah and here is a song

"Everything Is Alright"

Tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.

Give me a reason to end this discussion,
To break with tradition.
To fold and divide.

Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes,
Talking with strangers, waiting in line..
I'm through with these pills that make me sit still.
"Are you feeling fine?"
Yes, I feel just fine.

Tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.

I'm sick of the things I do when I'm nervous
Like cleaning the oven or checking my tires
Or counting the number of tiles in the ceiling..
Head for the hills, the kitchen's on fire!

I used to rely on self-medication,
I guess I still do that from time to time.
But I'm getting better at fighting the future,
"Someday you'll be fine.."
Yes, I'll be just fine.

Tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.

Give me a reason (I don't believe a word)
To end this discussion (of anything I've heard)
To break with tradition (they tell me that it's not so hard)
To fold and divide (it's not so hard)
So let's not get carried (away with everything)
Away with the process (from here to in-between)
of elimination (the long goodbye)
I don't want to waste your time.

Tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.

(Alright)
Tell me that you're alright, (Hi, everything's great)
Yeah everything is alright. (Everything's fine)
Oh please tell me that you're alright, (Hi, everything's great)
Yeah everything is alright.
(Everything's fine) [x4]

feeling a little SICK. = / JJ is sick && KAYLA is sick. now me too? i just wanted to FAKE being sick so i would have more time to study for MIDTERMS tomorrow. but i didnt REALLY WANT to get SICK. =[ this SUCKS! UGH!

group pic of the GiRLs!!

Kayla, Mary, Krista, Me (LiKE EwW!), Lisa, Lindsay Crank, Joy, && Jennifer

the GuYS  i think they had a fun time too. but NOT as much as the GiRLs did! hehe. =]

symon, peter ly, char (haha his 1st name is my LAST haha), johnny, arron, nick, gnia, leng, && peter crank

music is good, life not so good, and other factors are bad but life isn't perfect so yea.................................................................

hmmmmmmmmmmm................

no school on friday. aci is coming up, the freshmen are either going to have to pull a miracle out of their butts or theyr'e going to be.........

interesting

i've been writing poems like crazy this past week and yea......... 

This visit is much different than the previous.  The coffee shop is filled with people mingling amongst each other.  I am sitting in one of the opposite pair of green chaurs than last time.  There are two men in a different corner than last, also different men, discussing business politics and efficiency this or production that.  A man in a black leather motorcycle-esque jacket is putting creamer in his coffee.  There is a girl behind me that is taking notes on note cards from what most girls would deem a “cute” note card holder—it has nice Easter colored horizontal stripes.  One of the Starbucks employees just smiled at me.  She has black hair.  Three guys stand up to leave, and a woman joins them.  There is a male college student highlighting important terms and phrases in his textbook.  The shop is not as full or loud as it was earlier, and the soft jazz is more audible than before.  The frapuccino grinder is grinding away.  “Grande non-fat mocha …” something or other.  A young couple enters.  The girl is in all black with a pink shirt under the black outer one.  A woman in approximately her thirties comes and sits in the green chair next to me, and she begins pulling out a “The Anatomy of Coloring Book” book along with normal and thin markers.  She is wearing a bright, bright green Old Navy Fleece Half zip top.  There is an old man across the middle reading a magazine.  There is a guy or girl (I cant decide which) on a laptop not far from the old man. He just looked at me, so I determined it was a he.  His laptop has a sticker on the back of the screen.  Two very attractive girls walk in talking, and one looks at me, then both move to the ordering line.  Blue Monk begins to play…I love that chart.  The entire scene has now been sufficiently described, so sit back and enjoy the warm weather. (diddly doo wah doo wah…dit duh doo wap.  Skiddidle ooo skoot cha wah.  Doo wah…doo wah)

::b

I'm pretty sure it felt absolutely amazing today outside!!! I was just looking around and feeling the warmth and thinking about how He made everything in just a week! Doesn't that just blow your mind?! I hope everyone has an awesome week!

be blessed

Whats Up Phusebox? Me, Nothing Much Just Waiting For The Bell To Ring So I Can Go Home... We Are Supposed To Have A Good Time Tommorow... Parties In The Classes And Everything... I Can't Wait... And Yesterday I Got Paid Some Money... Yay For Me... I'm Gonna Go Shopping Soon And Buy Me A Grill (6 On Top And 6 On Bottom... White Gold) And Ima Look Fresh Wit It... You Know How I Be... Anyways, Bible Study Last Night Was Fun... But I Didn't Pay Attention As Much As I Shouldve... But I Will Next Time... And The 4 Day Weekend Thats Coming Up Is Gonna Be So Fun For Me... Thursday After School Ima Go Over My Brothers To Spend The Night With Most Of My Family And Hopefully I'll See My Baby Raven Before I Go There... Love You Raven... And The Weekend, I'm Supposed To Hang Out With My Cousin Dre Again And My Cousin Xavier.. My Cousin Xavier Asked Me If I Wasn't Doing Anything This Weekend He Told Me To Let Him Know... I Wonder What He's Tryna Do This Weekend? Hmm I Hope It Aint The Battle In The Boro For The Half-Timers Because I Heard It Got Cancelled Again... Me Thinking (What Is Wrong With These People, They Say There Is Gonna Be A Battle On This Day And That Day But They Cancel It At The Last Minute...) Well, I'll Let Yall Know The Full Details Tommorrow When I Get Back In School... Today This Boy In My 3rd Period Won't Take My Challenges On Tryna Find Out Who Can Dance The Best... He Keeps Bragging Saying He Can Dance Better Than Me But When I Step Up, He Stays In His Seat And Looks Around... Hahahahaha.... And By The Way.. The Girl I Liked At First That I Told Yall About That Was On That Bull**** Is Back Today... At First I Thought She Transferred Or Something Because She Missed 2 Days Of School... But My Cousin Told Me She Was In Nashville For Something... I Still Like Her But I Don't Know If I Should Even Mess With Her Anymore Because She Seems Like She Is A Waste Of Time... But If Things Get Better, Then I Just Might Change My Mind... Well, I Gotta Go... The Bell Finna Ring So I'll Write Again Soon... See Ya... 

“You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.”

man, these past few days have been confusing, very interesting, and extremely fun. i haven't had this much genuine fun in a long time. why, you ask? [who am i kidding, no one's asking, but i'll tell you anyways]

saturday i got to go to orientation at nissan for my prospective summer job. it shouldn't even be called orientation, more like sit and watch a safety video before spending 7 hours attaching and detaching bolts, screws and nuts to pointless pieces of metal which would quite easily be classified as modern art if only they were about 20 times larger. we're talking extreme monotony here. like, shoot yourself in the head because it would probably give you more of a sensation than this crap. i could feel my soul slipping away and being held captive by my future blue-collar job.
luckily for me, i happened to make quick friends with a certain cortney brothers who looks a good deal like a certain aimee davis. i seriously thought she might be aimee's older sister until i found out she was nothing of the sort. we spent much of our time laughing at the extremely bad 80's-style eye safety video with gambling allusions and was literally called "you bet your eyes." the entire hour-long torture can be wrapped up in the phrase "wear goggles." then we spent the remaining 7 hours racing each other to see who can perform our pointless and mundane tasks the quickest.

sunday i didn't even get to go to church cause i had to pack for our bpa trip to state finals in nashville. i was competing in html and hadn't studied or prepared in the least [classic example of senioritis]. we left siegel and went to the music city sheraton, who was hosting the conference. the 4 guys had two rooms, the 4 girls were all in one, and our two teachers kept an entire suite for themselves. needless to say, the suite became our hang-out zone. after a while i go in for my hour-long test which i finish in 25 minutes. when i arrive back at the suite, i find none other than the infamous DDR mat layed out on the floor.
for a quick explanatory note, i had never, ever played DDR before, though i had long wanted to. so as time goes by, i finally decide to give it a try, and i got hooked. bad. i picked it up very easily, probably because of percussion, and before the trip was over i was running through all of the standard levels and making a's [for those who actually know what i'm talking about]. it was a whole lot of fun. i still have the songs stuck in my head. we also watched some movies and tv and the like.
and man, there were some weird kids here. one kid was caught puking his guts all over the hall and expelled for drinking. another black girl walked out in the middle of the hall smoking a cigarette [which is also against the rules]. oh, and the woman across the hall from us was insane. she's bringing a group of high school students to a business professionals conference and taping their doors shut at 11. seriously, if your kids are so bad that you have to tape them into their room, don't bring them! as if that wasn't bad enough, she's patrolling the halls, fully dressed at 2 in the morning, listening through her kids' doors. then she scowls at us as we're leaving our teachers' suite 2 hours past curfue because we were watching wedding crashers with them, so we decide to take all the tape off her doors when she walks around the corner.
on monday night we came back to siegel to watch our basketball team win 76-67 [what an interesting score], and yesterday we went to opry mills, which proved to be infinitely less interesting that i had hoped. i did buy a book, though [V. by Thomas Pyncheon], and then a grande marble mocha machiatto, and sat down to read said book while drinking said coffee-laden product.

then today was the awards ceremony, a.k.a. go into a grand ballroom and sleep on the floor, even though our beds were much more comfortable. i actually won second place in html, which didn't entirely surprise me. the best part of it is that i get to go to bpa nationals in orlando from may 10-14 [the last week for seniors...], and the others that came to state will be allowed to come nationals, too. i'm mostly happy about this because i got to know them better, though it'd be a lie to say i want them all to come. the worst part of it is that almost all of the money will have to be raised by us. so, if anyone wants to donate or can think of any corporate sponsers, let me know. or if youre at siegel, by our snow cones. we'll probably start selling them at the end of the week.

so i guess that's that.

When I was just a little girl
My mama used to tuck me into bed
And she read me a story
It always was about a princess in distress
And how a guy would save her
And end up with the glory

I'd lie awake  and think about
the person that i wanted to be
Then one day i realized
a fairy tale life wasn't for me
Chorus:
I dont wanna be like Cinderella
Sitting in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free
I dont wanna be like Snow White waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
on a horse of white
and we're riding side by side
don't wanna be no one (no one else)
i'd rather rescue myself

Someday I'm gonna find someone
Who wants my soul, heart, and mind
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand
I'm happy just the way I am
Don't need nobody taking care of me

I will be there for him just as strong as he will be there for me
When I get myself that it has got to be an equal thing

(Chorus)

I can slay my own dragons
I can dream my own dreams
My knight in shining armor is me
So I'm gonna set me free

so i'm in history class and i can't think of anything to write, so i ask mi amiga lisa what i should write about, and she says everything from blue suade shoes to how to evade a stalker. that just goes to show u that we are really bored.  except for when mr. cing teaches b/c he keeps this clas entertained.  :)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Psalm 23

copacabana beach in rio de janeiro, brazil . . .

where today it's a balmy 86 degrees outside . . .

and tonight the low is a chilly 66 degrees . . .

. . . so who wants to go?

I got a couple new things that i'm going to enjoy very much :-D

First:  I got a very nice new racqetball racquet.

Second(and infinately better and more important than the first):  I got a new car! Woooooo!  2003 Mustang!! :-D

i got a flower today...

                                              from a three year old.

yeah so there is nothing to say...

but i really want comments...mhm

<3

Being stuck at home with mono is not exactly my idea of fun.  Especially when the rest of your world comes tumbling in on you at the same time.  And no, I've not been kissing anybody.  blech.

take this quiz ......

              maybe youwill know me..........................

       http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=060308120641-880127&     

Ayu's new single is in stores now (in like Asia lol)

and this is the cover of Ayu's next concert DVD:

I want it... >.<

"we're all in this together..."... yeah pretty much... scream if you love high school musical!!!!!!!!!

Usually, I try not to cross promote my other projects on PhuseBox, but this one was just too exciting for me to pass up.

Today, The Tennessean has an article about my newest startup, PodPoint.net. Very nice.

There is also another article about "godcasting," or rather, churches and ministries that podcast. Both are good reads.

{nt}

oh wait.....i forgot one thing in my last post i think i am in like with this guy i am not going to say the big L word cause in my dictionary thats a cuss word....i just wish he could really see me i mean he looks at me but never really sees me man that sounds so wierd but i could never have him hes in love with someone else i would never b good enough. oh well i've learned better than to get to close people aren't good enough anymore all they care about is theirselves so this world is on a downwardspiral and its taking us all in..............hummmmmmm think about it....

One draft of the horror film Freddy vs. Jason involved Pinhead appearing at the end of the film, where he stops a fight between the two title characters: "Now, gentlemen, what seems to be the problem?" 

                         

anyways....I am sick the whole sinus thing......it sucks i hate being sick...i feel like i have a papertowel in my head....but anyways i am fighting with jesus right now i think i am losing really bad  anways i don't got anything else to say except ilove you guys i will try to post more later

see yas,

brandi  

 Ok so I have told my boss, my pastor, and my small group so I guess I will let phusebox know too. I am moving to New Orleans in June. I have been thinking about it for a while but it really came to a head in January at Passion. It was a very hard descion to make, but once i realized that it was God and not me it was easy to take that step. I love Skyline and I all the friends I have here but I know that God wants me some where else and that is all that matters. So this is definetly a scary step for me. Much scarier than moving to NJ, because I didn't have to worry about a job because I had one, didn't need to worry about a place to stay because TLJ took care of that, I had friends here already, a church so it was pretty easy.
Please pray for me as I look for a job, a place to live, and a place to serve. Also pray for me as i tell people that I am leaving. I still need to tell Suzi(my mentor), Alisha (a girl I used to mentor), Marilou (a lady at church that I did ministry with) and the rest of my church. Even though I am sacred about this step I am excited because I know htat God is going to do something special and big in New Orelans and I know that I am going to be apart of that. The unknown is scary and exciting!

And so is Friday Night

And so is Saturday Night..

THATS RIGHT 3 NIGHTS THIS WEEKEND NOT 2.

can i get a hell yes..

THIS BITCH IS REALLY GETTING ME PISSED THE FUCK OFF AND I MIGHT JUST SLAP HER 

wha is up my fellow comrades I really have nothing to say so bye

today today

won't be just any day

today there will be no drama crap!

WSS rehearsal after school.

Ayu's new single is out today.

OMG.... i havent got to post b/c we moved and our internet isnt hooked up... so im sittin @ SKOOL....waiting for my camera software to finish downloading.... dang slow skool comps.... oh well... notta whole lot has happened n e ways... we finished moving... my room is  A MESS.... freshman orientation was... interesting... and im in love ... but no love back.....

~tRISH

so today is gonna be rather BORING. I'm gonna be @ home all day. I have a killer headache. UGH!!!!!!! Ummmm yeah i was almost in tears bc my head hurts so bad. Well ummmm i hope yall have a good day.

so yesterday i had to go get dog food for brandi and yeah.. im 18 now and i can buy a lizard! ive always wanted a lizard or snake or whatever. (: so i got one and it was great. i named him Cheader Bob Rolando lol don't ask. i already had a tank and stuff so it was all good. I just need a screen top so that it breaths more. i'm worried that ill cook him like i boiled my fish.

I can't wait till tomorrow. i go to get my dress fitting. i gotta go to symrna at 430 to try it on and get it on the way to any alterations. im so excited. i gotta wear my strapless bra. :P

Sam tell Bobby dogs are for kids. (y'know- trix are for kids) :D

Do I look snazzy today?? (: or just cute?

     I have been informed that I don't have enough recent pictures... to those of you who don't know I HATE PICTURES... I love taking them I don't like them of me.. then again most people don't. Anyway Mrs. Jeana took these, they are my senior pictures. She did a really good job. I was getting them together for something else and thought I would go ahead and post some. 

so. i'm exhausted.
and thrilled that i only have two days of school
left in this week.
friday=dying my hair.
that makes me happy.
saturday is going to be a good day.
as well as sunday most likely.
i honestly can't wait till this weekend.
i'm really excited. pathetic, i know.
i think when he gets back.
i'm gonna ask him to help me burn some pictures.
some old letters.
some memories that i need to get rid of.
because it hurts to much to have them so close.
and i need to leave them behind.
i think that's what i'll do.
we'll have a fire and we'll watch my past burn.
and create new memories.
that sounds like a plan.<3

So there, I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in
the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy
glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his
head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the
edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith
Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh.
Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal
tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the
shopkeeper and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to
beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really, but
sure enough I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great
show.

Crazy how this is what NewRevStudios was about a year ago...

how big a loser am i?

it's 2 days into spring break in chris-land and so far i've spent all day yesterday cleaning paintball stuff, all day today finishing paintball stuff and cleaning my room (a 2 1/2 hour project)...  what a loser

Ax of Murder

at Siegel High School

March 10-14 at 7 pm. except for the 12th. that one is at 2. =D

and um.. is it bad that i pretty much dislike every single person my boyfriend hangs out with?

Someone...teach me how to make lemons into lemonade.

Cause life seems to like giving me lemons.

So yeah.  I still have what has been so conveniently deemed a "promblem".
The girl I asked actually turned me down.  I don't want pity...so don't offer any.  She is a good friend and has a respectable reason.  But now I have to go through the whole process of finding someone I would like to take and someone that would have fun.  This is difficult because it feels like i live in two different worlds.  Church and school.  Not that I am a different person in these worlds, its just that they dont overlap at all.  I have very few friends that go to both.  And this girl was one.  But all my good friends go elsewhere.  And I am now just ranting.  I hate it when people rant.  I just feel so overwhelmed that it's getting closer, I don't have a date, and I don't even know if I can find one.  One that will have fun.  I am beginning to wonder if I will go.  I mean everyone "has to go", but whats the point if you aren't going with a group of friends?  I'll just drive myself up to Nashville to eat dinner by myself, go home to take pictures by myself, go to Prom and dance by myself, go to afterProm and tag along with other people.  It just seems like its what I've been doing for four years at Blackman, and I can't take it.  It makes me sick.  I just pray that God will take this burden from me, and give me wisdom in my choice of either dates or attending prom  entirely.

Sigh. 

What a mess.

But I still manage to actually be happy most of the time.  Because of Him. 

::b