November 09 2005
Sometimes I really just don't know what God's doing with my life. It seems friends come and friends go. After my dad's death, things just don't shine like they used to shine. I'm kind of in a rush, but I needed to vent that simple thought out. I will one day look back and realize why things worked out the way they did, but until then I'm in the dark. I get jealous over the dumbest things lately. Mainly people who seem genuinely happy. I've got joy, yes. Everyday I wake up and find joy in the Lord, but I'm hardly happy. I get so lonely sometimes and I think it's God's way of keeping me too attached to this world. Why, though? Others don't experience the same pain and they're Christians. I'm so self-centered sometimes. I hate it. I should be happy for the things God's given me. I am, and I need to focus on that.
October 19 2005
I really like this new layout... but that's besides the point.
So- I just realized how utterly screwed up my life can be. Well, my best-friend decided that he was too much drama in my life lately (which, lets face it, if you've been keeping up he has been) and hasn't talked to me at all today or last night despite any message I might send him. I feel bad for him but he's been crazy lately and if he feels it necessary to stop talking to me for a few weeks I'm okay with it. I need a break.
It's time for registration again and I've realized... hey... MOST OF MY CLASSES HAVEN'T COUNTED TOWARDS CRAP!!! I'll be in school forever. I'm not sure I can handle this business school stuff. These classes just aren't for me. I was much more content being stressed out over art classes than Accy 201 and Cal 261. I'm too right brained for those subjects. My mom keeps saying that college isn't easy... but what's the point of TORTURING myself with these classes. It's not that I don't understand, there's just a mental block there. I don't see any practicle reason for taking these classes OTHER than getting a degree in Print Advertising. I'm sorry... advertisers from this school will NOT be that creative if they completely grasp Accy and Calculus. There's no room for any right brained activity. Just thinking about it hurts.
So I was throughly disgusted in BSU last night. The praise band was extremely flagrant, people avoided Jeffrey like the plague because he's gay and whoever they decided to preach yesterday was clearly found in some backwoods community where they like being yelled to about random, off-the-wall issues and those who go into the ministry ONLY go to Christian schools because God would never, EVER call anyone to get an undergrad from a State funded university. GRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr......
Okay, so I'm going to go study now for my Accy test which I'm probably going to fail. If any of you happen to read this before six today- say a little prayer for me.
September 27 2005
Do you ever feel pulled in so many directions that you feel like you aren't accomplishing anything? This question can apply to many, many, many aspects of my life. *sigh* I'm just tired...
And I leave you with that question to ponder or ignore. LOL
September 27 2005
center>You are a
You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
September 19 2005
September 08 2005
This excites me to no end! Fall is my FAVORITE season. I think it is so beautiful- the sunsets are more purple than red, the trees become a rainbow of colors and things just seem a bit more cozy. It makes me think of great childhood memories. Even if this change isn't temporary just yet, the taste of the coming season has me in a very good mood. :)
I might also associate Fall with beginnings instead of endings like is traditional. I think it's how our society is set up as Americans- especially those of us in school. Our year starts at the close of summer and ends at the beginning of the next summer. I've never liked summer for that reason, I think. It represents change to me. AND as a hardcore Taurus (lol) I am not a personality that appreciates permanent change. I actually like changes such as someone visiting, going on vacation and doing something odd as long as when I get done doing whatever it is I can come back to the life I left behind.
Wow... just realized that I won't be going back to the same Picayune that I left. Really makes me upset. So...
I'm going to move and end the rambling. LOL Peace out.
September 06 2005
September 06 2005
Hope y'all find my profile photo humorous... because I know I do! lol Sometimes I can go overboard with Photoshop and spend a few hours playing around instead of doing homework. I need FOCUS!
Well... yeah... I've gotta go to sleep... because... well... I just do. It's almost four o'clock and I've gotta wake up in three hours.