BOYS BOYS BOYS!!!

June 06 2006

Wow these past few days have been really tough! All i wanted to do is CRY AND CRY! Last night the man i know that i will marry some day decided that he wants to take a break and see if there is someone else out there for him! We cried last nite together for hours! You see he has another girlfriend right now and her name is Tiara! That hearts more than anything in the world. Today is out 11 month anniversary. We both had bought eachother promise rings not long ago and we were gonna give them to eachother tonight! Well tonite we did meet together and got something to eat! We gave eachother the rings and let me tell yah eatching him leave is the hardest thing i will ever have to do! Right before he left he gave me a kiss. I was thinking if he can still kiss me then how does he have feelings for someone else. It really makes absolutely no sense to me right now! He says that he will always be there for me and he willl always come back to me! But.... I was thinking who will i come back to. He will never be there when i really need him to. I am gonna miss him so much! I do not think that i have ever cried about a boy this much. He still wants to go on vaction with me in July. That will be really strange. I still really love him and i promised that i wouldn't be the CRAZY EX. I also said that i will wait for hime to call from now on. I wont call him. I am not completely sure that that is the right thing to do right now. I just dont see how a person can say i love you and not want to be with them anymore. He is my first love and i will always love him. After he left i was like what am i gonna do now? I have blown off and lost all my friends because i devoted my life to him. Then when he was like go and make plans with your friends and he still doesn't understand that i dont have any. It really sucks. on my long long long drive home tonite i just cried all the way. I said i couldnt do this and i dont think that i will be able to. It is just really hadr for me to accept that right now he has his arm around another girl. I do wonder if he is thinking of me and that GOODBYE kiss that he gave me tonite. I have the worst stomach ache of my life! I just afraid of what is going to happen in the future. I REALLY REALLY REALLY just want him back right now!


I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME? WHY DO I ALWAYS GET MY HEART BROKEN?????

Sam-Graham Jinn (Graham Wells)

June 06 2006
"I have blown off and lost all my friends because i devoted my life to him." That Is probably a lot of it. I know you will wanna kill me for saying it, but the more you ditch everyone else, the more it hurts when disaster strikes. NEVER invest everything into one person, ESPECIALLY of the opposite sex. I'm praying for you pal, even though we havent spoken in a long time.

yourcandytears

June 07 2006
I agree with Graham. But more importantly, you should not go back to this guy, in my opinion. He already had another girlfriend, which is cheating, and that will be hard to recover the trust from. The other thing is that he is pretty much just wanting you to be there when HE wants you to and run off and be with other people all the other time. This is not a healthy relationship. You will have a hard time trusting him in the future. Trust me, you will find someone else better that will commit themselves to you. My advice- mourn the loss and forget about him. Don't look back. Move for the summer like you said you were going to. Accomplish things in your life and get away from him. I can't believe that he has done these things to you, and I hope you honestly won't consider letting him back into your life after all that. Your life is too important to sacrifice for a guy that's not going to be true to you and only want you around when it's convenient. You are such a sweet girl, and I don't want to see him use you. Don't worry about your friends. I've done the same thing, and most of the time, with some attention given to those relationships, you can salvage them and also make new friends. You'll be in my thoughts as you go through this. Be strong!

yourcandytears

June 07 2006
I agree with Graham. But more importantly, you should not go back to this guy, in my opinion. He already had another girlfriend, which is cheating, and that will be hard to recover the trust from. The other thing is that he is pretty much just wanting you to be there when HE wants you to and run off and be with other people all the other time. This is not a healthy relationship. You will have a hard time trusting him in the future. Trust me, you will find someone else better that will commit themselves to you. My advice- mourn the loss and forget about him. Don't look back. Move for the summer like you said you were going to. Accomplish things in your life and get away from him. I can't believe that he has done these things to you, and I hope you honestly won't consider letting him back into your life after all that. Your life is too important to sacrifice for a guy that's not going to be true to you and only want you around when it's convenient. You are such a sweet girl, and I don't want to see him use you. Don't worry about your friends. I've done the same thing, and most of the time, with some attention given to those relationships, you can salvage them and also make new friends. You'll be in my thoughts as you go through this. Be strong!

Amy

June 07 2006
Just trust to God. Sometimes you have to be willing to let go of the person in order to have them. Message me if you ever need to talk about it.

kelsey shearron

June 07 2006
brian went to montenegro in europe...

Trena Doyle

June 07 2006
Eventhough we haven't talked in years believe me when I say I'm here for you. We could always have a girls night out you and me and perhaps a group of the old Rockvale crew.