December 28 2006
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years to ya'll!


May 11 2006
Prom pictures are uploaded! If you want to see them all, you can, but here  are some of the ones I like best:

(my date, Matt)

(best friend Kristina)



Orchestra Banquet

April 27 2006
Orchestra banquet w as last Saturday, so I thought I'd share pictures. 

Next up-Prom! x___x

I wonder...

February 27 2006
personality flaws:

good personality traits:

do these? I'm interested in your opinions =P


February 21 2006
I got really mad at my sunday school teacher on Sunday. Like REALLY
mad-which isn't the easliest thing in the world to do. I dont
appreciate being forced to do things or being talked to rudely. If you
want to do things like that, do it to somebody who cares about you. I
don't. Think about it: do you want to make people leave the youth group
because you MADE them doing something. And not even something
worthwhile, something completely stupid. And then because they WOULDN'T
move, you looked down on them and spoke to them in a demeaning manner?

I should have just gathered up my stuff and walked out. I don't have to
put up with things like this in a place that should encourage you, not
put you down. Yeah, Hurray for God and Jesus, but you are NOTHING to

In other news, there's never any really polite way to tell somebody that
they've got a booger hanging out of their nose or their pants are
unzipped or something. If you're really close friends or something,
they'll just be like ah! and fix it or something. But what if they're a
stranger or not somebody you're friends with or something. They're
gonna be really embarrassed, and they're gonna be thinking: why were
you looking anyway? Seriously. It's like, why are you looking at the
boogers hanging out of my nose? Do you like noses or something? Or
pants. WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY CROTCH! alskejraowiehrwn;! What's
going through your nasty little mind?!?!?! -.0 Huh?!?!


January 23 2006
If you want to understand me and who I am, you must first read this:

1 corinthians 13


1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all
mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move
mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never falls. But where there are prophecies, they
will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there
is knowledge, it will pass away.

9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought
like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put
childish ways behind me.

12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then
we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully,
even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Stolen from a friend who stole it from a friend...and so on...

January 09 2006
1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my lj:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favourite place to be:
11. favourite lyric:
12. best time of the year:

1. a film:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:

1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.

I remember...

December 01 2005

Do you remember that day I walked up to you and told you I had to take
a break from you? I remember. You and Amber had had another 'conflict
of interests' so you were hanging out with Cam and a friend( mutual or
not, I'm not sure). It was the hallway right after the doors to get off
the buses. I sat there, listening, waiting for you to leave, to talk to
you alone. You didn't want to leave, though. I had to drag you
away-almost literally drag you away. You wanted to know "why" I wasted
you to come with me; you didn't understand why i was important; you
wanted to hang out with friends. So you walked with me part-way down
the hall, just far enough away to be out of hearing of Cam and his
friend, and I told you I needed to take a break. At the time I was
under tremendous pressure-emotiona, mostly. See, I had never liked a
guy before you. I didn't know what it was like to be let down. ALl I
understood was the emotional grief. I watched as you dated girl after
firl, but never really liking any of them. You were obsessed with
Amber, just as I was obsessed with youy. It was hard, oh-so hard, to
watch as you went out with each girl, knowing you'd just break up with
them again. It broke my heart. I'm just glad I told you no becore you
could ever ask me. Somewhere I knew it was best that way.

That was the hardest time of my entire life: to tell you "no" and then
to tell you later that I couldn't handle being around you. I, honestly,
was scared witless. THe only thing that kept me going was your promise
that no matter what, everything would be "okay." And I believed you.
And you kept your promise. For that I thank you. I think if I had lost
your friendship then, I would've never been the same after that,
because, not only was I obsessed with you, but I loved you. I'm not
talking about the fickle "oh I love you" one day that can be said to
somebody else the next day. It may have been at that time, but it's
become so much more. I think youi're the only person I can truly say I
know without a doubt that I love you.

I have though over it too many days and too many nights. Do I love my
other friends? That I cannot say, but I can definately say I care about
them. [I think after you broke my heart, I closed my heart off. I
dunno, I
may love other people, but I don't think I am able to admit it any
longer. Am I afraid it will hurt too much? I don't know. Maybe one day
I will learn again.]

You do not need to worry though; I'm no longer obsessed with you, nor
do I like you in such a way. [I have moved on with my life.] In fact, I
have not liked you at all as of late.

Starting last year you started to ignore me. Why? Rachel became your
new best friend...and you started doing out with Missy. You no longer
had any time for me.

Up until recently, actually, I've been rather resentful of this. Then I
realized how stupid this was, however. People change, friends will grow
apart-and we certainly did. I am greatly saddened by this, believe it
or not, because I always know I had a strong friend in you.

You were always somebody I would go to if I was upset or if I was just
down or depressed. When we grew apart, so did my ability to talk to
people about things. I miss having a strong, Christian friend as a
confident who I alwyas knew would be there for me.

But I don't mean to make you feel bad-quite the opposite. I want to
thank you. Thank you for being my friend-even if we've drifted apart.
Thank you for being my confident when I needed one most. Thank you for
caring, in 9th grade Biology, for that shy little girl who's supply of
friends was about to drop off the face of the earth.

I thank you for always being there. I thank you for always willing to
give me a hug-just because we were friends. (That meant so much more to
me that I think anybody-me included- realized. Only when you have to go
without something do you truly realize what it meant to you.)

I could go on forever and thank you for the many things you've done-the
memories, the experiences, the unconditional friendship ([even if it
was a bit akward and strained at times]), but all I truly want to say
is thanks for everything and I love you. God bless.

Most of you don't have a clue what
this was about-a few will. Don't feel bad-for me or for the situation?
This was merely for me to reminisce-and maybe to show to certain
persons. I don't know.

However Comments are discouraged.
I don't particuarly care what comments you may have about me and/or my
past, but I will not stop you from commenting. I don't want any
emotional comments, however. I'm sorry, but it's pretty much just lost
on me.


November 11 2005
Yay for new pictures! I uploaded my senior picture possibilities...I ended up making this one my senior picture though. =) But I like them

This weekend I've got region all evening Friday (tonight) and then ALL DAY tomorrow. X______x It's gonna be a long weekend. Gah!


October 28 2005
State Orchestra try-outs are tomorrow and I hurt my should somehow. -.-
This is definately not good. The good news is, however, that it doesn't
hurt my shoulder when I play violin, so that's good. =)

Solo and Ensemble line-up:

1. Violin solo: Wieniawski Concerto in D minor, 2nd movement

2.Piano solo: Schubert Impromptu op. 22 no. 2

3. Piano Trio: Beethoven Trios, Trio Op.1 No. 1 Scherzo (that's what
movement it is, however it's in German, so I don't know what it means.) shall be an interestin year this year for S&E....and a
very busy year too. They're all class 1s, and 2 of them are piano,
which is much harder than violin, for me. >.>;; GG.

Maybe I just feel like I have to keep myself entertained? ::shrug::


October 07 2005
Blank blog again. I got bored of looking at my other rant.... >.>

To my dear youth pastor, mark...thanks...for ruining Christianity for me...

September 10 2005
Dear Parents,

We are making a change to our schedule for the JV club in our Awana program at Fairfield Baptist Church.

Starting September 11th, our JV club will only meet for one hour, from 5:00 – 6:00 on Sunday evenings. This time will be used for handbook review and team unit review (“council time”; group Bible study). We will not have Game Time or any other planned activities for your son or daughter in Awana after 6:00pm.

After 6:00pm, your son or daughter will need to either be picked up by a parent, or will need to attend our Free Shipping program. Free Shipping is Fairfield Baptist’s Sunday night program for middle school and high school youth that offers praise & worship time, small group accountability, and opportunities to participate in youth ministries. Free Shipping currently meets from 6:00 to 7:20 in our new Education Building, and your youth may be picked up there after 7:20. If you must, you may take your son or daughter out of Free Shipping sooner than 7:20, but understand that is not ideal, as they will miss out on the full experience we have to offer them.

We will try throughout the year to offer areas of service in Awana for your youth, since that is still a requirement for all JV clubbers (see for example Service Unit 1 on pg 94 of your youth’s Relay book). On those nights your child may be asked to attend early, or stay after 6:00, but these service opportunities are optional, and we will communicate them well in advance.

To summarize: JV will now meet only from 5:00 – 6:00. At 6:00 your child must either be picked up by a parent in their room (portable building 6B) or attend Free Shipping. Your child may be picked up from Free Shipping at 7:20 in the Education Building, or sooner if absolutely necessary. If you need to make other arrangements for picking up your child, you must let me or our JV Director Michael Martin know.

I understand this may not be desirable to you or fit with your family’s schedule, and I apologize for making a change like this after the Awana year has started. If you would like to cancel your children’s registration for this year, I fully understand and we can refund all or part of your registration fees.

If you have any questions or concerns with this change, you are welcome to contact me, Erich Hurst, at 281-304-0104 or our Youth Pastor, Mark Julian at 281-373-5446.

Thank you and God bless!

Erich Hurst

Commander, Fairfield Baptist Church Awana Program

Dear Erich,

I do have concerns about this scheduling change. When Mark was a candidate for the position of Youth Pastor, Fairfield Baptist Church held a question-and-answer session. During that session, I told Mark that the church had a vibrant AWANA program on Sunday evenings. I asked him if he planned to hold youth group activities during AWANA time since that would compete with AWANA. He said that he was not very familiar with AWANA, but he would not compete with it. He is now breaking his word.

The AWANA program has benefited youth for over 50 years. In my opinion, it is an excellent program that would be difficult to improve. It has stood the test of time. Our family started in AWANA 23 years ago. While I have not been a part of Free Shipping, I have been to several of Mark’s Sunday night youth activities. I have been to Transformation several times. I have also been to the program that preceded Transformation, although I can’t remember what Mark called it. In my opinion, those programs are not superior to AWANA.

To end the JV AWANA program early and leave out the time for service and then to say that a students need to participate in all of Free Shipping or “they will miss out on the full experience we have to offer them” is wrong. I conclude that Mark thinks that his program is better and more important than AWANA. He is wrong. I also think his attitude is prideful and self-serving.

A youth pastor should want youth to grow in the knowledge of the Word and to live holy lives. If this end is achieved through AWANA or through any other means, Mark should be thankful.

I also don’t like this sudden change after the AWANA year has begun, and I don’t like the tone in which this change is conveyed. It sounds like an ultimatum: do it Mark’s way or go home.

I don’t see Jesus in any of this.

I am so saddened by this change. My son Collin is in JV. He does not want to go to Free Shipping. Because Joe and I are both involved in AWANA, we cannot take him home at 6 p.m. Therefore, I am resigning as the Varsity leader at Fairfield Baptist Church so I will be free to take Collin home. My daughter Maribeth will move to a Varsity group at another church.

Again, I am so saddened and disappointed that you have forced me to make this decision. I have been so blessed by the Varsity group. I will miss the students so very much. I just can’t believe it has come to this. I don’t think God is pleased.

Vicki Carstens (my Varsity AWANA leader)

And the saga of my church continues....


August 12 2005
Adding a post so everybody's not posting random comments on my book rant. >.>;;; Yup. School's started. Fun. And now I need sleep. ::falls asleep at keyboard:: x_X


July 15 2005
So...I was reading this Christian book that I read from a friend the other day...and the way it was talking, it sounded like Christians think it's ok to (and should?): go out and fuck everybody they see, dress like sluts, and be gay-and be proud of it and stick with it because that being you.(And no getting me wrong, I have some very good gay/lesbian friends.) So yeah, you may not be Christian or not, but um...WTF?!?!?! NONE of those things is part of Cristianity. o.o! It's an.....interesting book to say the least.... It's a real eye-opener anyway. (O)_(O)!

Oh yeah-and I'm only about 1/4 of the way through the book. It's like a question/answer kind of book.

edit: And I'm posting this here and in my MySpace journals instead of my xanga because I don't feel comfortable posting this where I know it will hurt people that are already hurting enough as it is. =\ But I felt I needed to post it....

My Brain o.O

July 12 2005

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?


July 10 2005
Hi. I got this to comment on Amy's site. :o (Hi Amy! ::waves:: It's been a looooooooooooooooooooooonnnngg time. o.o! Anyway, this is Sandra, fyi.) So yeah. Hi.

And now goodbye. If you wanna find out about me, um...look at my xanga.