Politics and Pit-Bull Feminazis.

August 01 2006

Hmmm.  So with the impending elections, I've been going around to various politicians' sites, trying to get an idea of what they stand for, and what exactly their opinions are on certain key issues.  Unfortunately, I only got to two before my eyesight gave out: Phil Bredesen and John Jay Hooker.  I'm slowly working my way down the list of both parties today, because honestly the chance of either Democrats or Republicans letting a member of the Green, Libertarian, or non-party Independents get a foot in the door is slim.

I then received a call from John Jay's office.  Impressive, that a peon such as myself could merit a speedy reply.  Even if it was an intern.  Beggars, choosers, la-dee-da-la.

...I think John Jay might want to hire people with better phone and communication skills.  That, or switch the decaf out for regular in his offices.

"His biggest concern right now is the war. He's against it."
"You mean the conflict, sir?"
"No, I mean the war. We're at war."
"With all due respect, sir, Congress never formally declared, so it's still a conflict."
"Well… We're at war. We're at war with Afghanistan, and in Iraq, and – an' the war on terror…"
"Yes sir, I've heard the phrase."
"An'… We're at war."
"Yes, sir, thank you, sir. Now, uhh, about these other issues…"

That, or give the decaf to my grandmother, who just called to say this:

"I've saved an article for you in the newspaper all about safety on campus, and pepper sprayyyy, and the police say you can't use the brand they use --" [Commie elitists] "--because it's too strong, but you can buy it at Wal-Mart!"  [Why is Wal-Mart selling pepper spray?]
"Well thanks, but I really don't --"
"You know, it's a different world out there!  You can neeeever tell what's happening, or what's going to happen.  It's always best to be prepared!"
"Uhhhhhh-huh.  Well, I'll have Mum call you when she gets back in.  Have a great day, Granny!"

I might be a Girl Scout, but pepper spray seems like overkill.  A little too pit-bull feminazi to me.  You know, the whole, "You looked at me!  ANIMAL!!!!  HOW DARE YOU THREATEN MY CARNAL TREASURE?!"  *Cattleprod*  "MEN LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON WOMYN EVERYWHERE ARE TORTURED, BRUISED, BATTERED, AND EMBITTERED AGAINST LIFE!!"

Besides, isn't it rather vain to assume that the only reason a man looks at oneself is because he's plotting to ravish you?  Maybe you have toilet paper sticking out of your skirt.  Oh wait, sorry, skirts are a symbol of male Domination Against Womyn.  My bad.  True Womyn don't wear skirts.  Kilts are irrelevant, right?  Wtf.

Actually, I get the feeling that "true womyn" would be secure enough in themselves to not get caught up in arbitrary sartorial details.  May expound upon this later in Microsoft Word.  Yes, I've written essays for fun and excitement.  ...Shut up.

Ben Moser

August 01 2006
haha. i thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. nice stories kelly.


August 01 2006
ROFL about both conversations. I mean... wow... your grandma sounds so much like mine! Anyhow, yeah, this election thing bites. I mean, how do they expect us to be informed voters if they don't give us any information? I mean... come on...