well hello everyone!

how is the holiday season treating you? i am just getting into the christmas spirit...sort of...anyways...some very exciting things are going on. i am going to China in june for a month! i am part of a mission internship and i am really excited about the opportunity. it's alot to think about. it's a little scary to be honest. i have never been out of the country before and it's a month but i'm too excited to be really bothered by it.

i can't believe christmas is on monday! that means that half of my senior year is over and graduation will be here before i realize it. i'm ready to graduate.

it's been awhile...

i am leaving for New York and Washington monday! i am so excited and i can't wait! i have been wanting a new adventure and here it is. this is the trip i have been waiting for since 7th grade! there is only one tiny problem...i have never been on a plane before...i am just a little scared. but i'm thinking if i take my ipod i will be ok. that usually distracts me. oh i can't wait!

life never ceases to surprise me.

so tired. need coffee

....that makes me kind of sad. I decided to go on the girls soccer trip to Florida. It's the last trip i'll ever go on with the soccer team.the seasons almost over too and i know that i get fed up with it and say i want to quit but the truth is that i love it.there's nothing quite like the feeling of playing soccer and having fun at the same time which i've actually experienced a few times this year.

i can't believe it! I'm finally a senior and i can't get that out of my head. it's weird, yet it's incredibly exciting to know that i will be moving on in life very soon. (i know May dosen't seem that soon but time flies when you aren't paying attention.) i remember starting school last year and thinking that senior year was ages away....i can't believe i thought that! it seems like the past year was just a blink and here i am sitting at my computer two days before i begin my last year of highschool wondering where it all went. don't get me wrong, i am happy to be graduating, thrilled actually, but i wonder if the rest of my life will pass by in the blink of an eye.

That was the best most amazing concert i've ever been to!!!

I'M GOING TO SEE DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL!!!!

i'm incredibly excited!!!!!

this song is  wonderful. i have to sit back and listen to it.

   i was driving aimlessly around my neighborhood after church tonight and it kinda reminded me of this past summer when i would ride around with the windows down and radio blasting right as the sun was going down. i love that feeling. the feeling of peace and feeling my worries slip away and letting the music take over.

so... i went on a retreat this past weekend and....it was wonderful. i really got alot out of it. it was really nice to get away from murfreesboro for a weekend and and sorta get away from some of my troubles. but of course i am now having post retreat depression and i kinda want to go back. oh well....on a brighter note we are now in the 4th quarter of the school year and spring break is 2 weeks away!!! yay! i'll be 17! (yes i know i'm stupid but i can't help being excited!) ahh....spring break...i cannot wait!

i haven't been to starbucks in almost 2 weeks. (sniff sniff)

yes i know...i complain way to much....but i really am frustrated with myself for pushing people away. but what else am i supposed to do? trusting someone is hard for me. i wish i could easily trust people but i don't know....i just went completely blank.

 i wish i knew who to believe. people make me angry

 so...aqualung is pretty amazing.

i just got home from winterfest...i thought that i would be happy again...but i'm not. for some reason i feel disappointed and sad.

so...valentines day was not fun at all but i will not complain anymore because i am tired of complaining and i'm sure you all are tired of me ranting about valentines day. (those of you who have to put up with me everyday at school. i am sorry for my complaining)

so i was feeling kinda sad after school and decided to go to my favorite place to waste time...Hastings. i got a Something Corporate cd and now i am feeling a bit happier. (by the way, it's an amazing cd. Leaving Through The Window. you should get it if you don't already have it) well...that was my day...WINTERFEST IS THIS WEEKEND!!!!

AND I AM SO EXCITED!!!

it's an excellent movie. The soundtrack is really good too.

Mansfield Park is a book by Jane Austen and it's one of my favorites.

so...i'm just sitting here, listening to music and occasionaly glancing outside to see if it's still snowing.(it isn't in case you wanted to know) But all this sitting around inside has kinda put me in a contemplative mood. I'm wondering if i had acted differently in certain situations if things would have been different and possibly better.i'm really not sure what the answer to this question is. after all this thinking ...the only conclusion i've come to is that i think i might have lost a really good friend.it makes me so sad to think about it.

as i sit here all the good memories come flooding back and i find myself feeling even sadder than before.

so...dress shopping? not so fun.goodness... i finally got a dress after going to three stores and the funny thing is that i didn't want to go to banquet anyways but my lovely friends have given me no choice.ok..i have to admit that i love the dress! it's extremely poofy! (hee hee hee)so...this might actually be fun..now i'm just hoping that maybe i'll have a date. (ha ha,that's funny. it'd be nice but i'll be fine without a date).

well my friends..i am off to bed. buenas noches.

ok...Minus The Bear is one of the best bands ever! you should definately check them out! minusthebear.com

well...another friday has come and gone and i stayed up till about 2:45ish watching movies with a couple of my friends.and we went to Starbucks (of course).

i'm actually just starting to feel tired and thinking about all the lovely homework i have to do is not helping.