Thank you Sarah Moore for talking with me for so long last night. I know we werent solving any of my problems or anything, which is what the last sentence sounds like, but for some reason just talking gave me some kind of clarity or something I can't really express in words that feels peaceful and ...sigh. I wish I could explain it.  Anyways, I didn't get in trouble for getting home late..real late.  My parents just probably ignored me last night and my mom didn't say anything this morning.

I want to know the stuff that dreams are made of.

I know some of you can't dream or don't dream, and I feel sorry for you.  Not the pity "I feel sorry for you", but just that you are missing out a bit.

I had one of the most emotionally charged dreams last night.  It was scary (not horror scary),  strong, heartfelt, fun, angry, sad.  And it was all tied together with the strongest emotion: love.  I know it sounds sappy...but my dream never made it to that part.  The sappy part that is.  This one just felt so...real...that when I woke up, I had to think a long time about what it meant, why I dreamt it, what caused it, how I would have handled it, how it would have ended...so on and so forth. 

I don't think I've ever had a dream so real and surreal mixed in at the same time.  Like nothing makes sense around you...but everything makes sense in your head.

And the girl.

Why do I feel so attached to a character in a dream?  I know that nothing in my life, most likely, will have anything to do with this dream.  But I want to find her. (Double meaning: finding her in the dream, and finding a person correlating to that character with the same real emotions in life.)

*sigh*

If I could do it all over again in the dream...I would.  But there was no romantic events or anything (don't get any ideas).  Everything was simply understood as the dream went on.  All the small dreams that occurred before my mind settled on the "good one" have no correlation whatsoever...yet your mind somehow convinces you while you are sleeping that everything does in fact make sense.  It makes no sense, and as I am writing this, some things in the dream I begin to remember...but they don't matter to me.  I just want to relive or "redream" what happened in the good dream.  I remember everything that happened, I just don't know how it got started or how it ends (as is the way with most dreams: it starts in the middle, but you dont notice it in the dream, and you don't need any prior knowledge or experience to comprehend what is happening.  Then it doesnt end.)

I just want that feeling of attachment.  Not attachment as someone continuously with another.  But the attachment I felt in my heart.  An attachment that can get through and almost enjoys the hard part because it brings you closer together.

If only...if only.

I guess I need to go get ready for school...*sigh*

Already the strength of the dream is fading...and that makes me sad.


::b


P.S.: I want to know what you think. If you could customize any
website on the internet, or have an idea for a useful online tool that
is not common now, what would you do, or what is your idea?  What do
you wish you could do with or use a website for? If there's anything you think you could use, let me know.

Thanks for whatever suggestions you guys leave, they are very appreciated!