So i never knew that i could be going througth so much crap rigth now!!! I know that everything happens for his Glory and that God will carry me through all of it, but man do i need to vent about so much!!!! I am sitting here almost in tears because i am being stretched to my limits. I have made mistake along the course of the last few days, and have endured so much heart ach! Why do we have so much emotion that runs through our body, that makes us feel as if we can't breath anymore? Why do i feel like a horrilble person and a jerk over something that i accidentally let slip? Now i have hurt this amzing friendship over a silly slip! Why do i punish my self over it all. Why is it that i completely still like this Guy, and it has just been revealed that he like this other girl, and i am CRUSHED!!!! He knows or he did know that i liked him, it has been a long summer, and things have changed, but my heart still has these feelings for him, and now the reality of him never really feeling the same has hit, and now i feel hopeless!! why does this always happen to me? ALWAYS IN THIS ORDER/ WILL IT EVER BE MY TURN? Now i have to sit back and watch as this relationship develops and hurt. Why does it hurt? I also have to act like it doesn't hurt like i am ok with it all bc i don't want to weird him out, plus i know that it is all in Gods Plan for him, and i want him to be happy, there i am, always putting others feeling b4 my own!! God i just pray that you will give me strength to get over this carry me through the next couple of months,and help me grow closer to you and Glorify you, Lord, and I hope that you bless this new developing relationship between these two People, Lord, let it all be for your Glory!!!!
And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters. 30And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And he gave them right standing with himself, and he promised them his glory.
Romans 8:28-39 (New Living Translation)

Well that is all for now just to let whoever reads this know that my heart hurts so much now, and i can't breath, but i trust that God will lift me up, and take care of me!
GOD BLESS!!
rEnEe