So I have to write a 250-word essay on "My Most Memorable Volunteer Experience."

Neither I nor my mother can think of anything appropriate.  This is amusing.

-- Florence Renaissance faire doesn't count in her book.
-- Taking over a Girl Scout troop during camp won't work, because mothers called in and complained that I'd given their children diseases by making them sweep out a latrine and wash the walls down with baby wipes.  And let's not even get into my fashioning a whip to keep those children in line.  Or pulling the drill sergeant on them.  "LEFT!  LEFT!  LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT!"  {{They loved it, for future reference.}}
-- -- I guess there's always the Oakland's Day Camp.  Then I can talk about dragging children across busy intersections and scaring them when we went gravestone-rubbing and trying to ditch 'em at the spring.
-- Even at a completely separate camp when we made vegan fudge as a gesture of winter-holiday goodwill, we gave the children the batch we messed up on.
-- My Girl Scout memories don't really involve helping screaming children, anyway.  They involve blenders and daquiri mix and lowering camp bras to half-staff out of respect to Ronald Regan's passing.

End Result: Kelly is not a {do-}good person.