Let's play a game where I compare myself to my friends and realize how I really do come in second all the time. Ok? Ok.

Carlton: "Best marcher in band", All A's, Rhody loves her, and is constantly telling us how we should be like her, Chamber Choir, etc.

Caitlin: All A's, Great Marcher, Great clarinet player, The perfect child, The "Prettier One", The Funnier One.

Grace: Good at like, everything, The Prettiest One, The Popular One, The Charasmatic One.

Katie: Amazingly pretty, Amazingly popular, Amazing Personality, Amazing in general.

I know it's probably not right, nor healthy, but I'm very resentful to my friends for being so....perfect? I really dislike it. In fact, it makes me feel quite bad. I try not to get mad at them for it, but how can I not?

I just don't understand why I have to be second. I'm always second. It's like it's my purpose in life not to be good enough. Why? I have no idea.

No on puts any faith in me. I'm like the village idiot, they don't trust that I could do a good job. They always assume my answer is wrong, the note I played was wrong, I missed the set.

They always assume someone else could do better.

Maybe I could do the best job. Why can't anyone give me a shot.

And what I hate more is that sometimes, these perfect friends of mine, almost encourage this. They say "no...that's probably not right." Why? I don't know, ask them.

I just wish someone would give me a chance.

I don't want to go my whole life in the shadows, never getting a chance to shine.

Sara