today i was going through my binder and throwing out everything (because i dont need it anymore!!!) and i found this poem i wrote in the beginning of the year. i forgot about it, but i think i was really really mad at someone while i was writing it. here it goes:

What is this feeling?

It's not love, not hate

Why did you do it?

Why did I do it?

Is it because I don't love you?

or simply not care?

Part of me says I did the right thing

while the other regrets it

 Part of me still loves you

while the other tries to avoid you

Did I do it for revenge?

I feel like you need to be hurt

But I see you

and I feel sorry for you

Because deep down I know you still love me

as much as I love you

So why did I do it?

Why did you do it?

Jelousy?

My love?

Another's love?

It may not be true

but i can't help thinking

This love wasn't meant for me

The moment it happened, things changed

Everything changed

The jokes stopped, the feelings stopped

Your feelings stopped

It was like a barrier came between you and me

Between us

All i could think was

How did this happen?

Why did this happen?

Jelousy?

My love?

Another's love?

This whole thing is just two battles:

A fight for him

A fight for her

We end up in the worst positions:

A silent battle between each other

Trying to win the battle

with our "so-called" love

Then something bigger happens

Is this bad?

Or could it be good?

No, this can't be good

Once again, things change

but more drastically

This time, everything stops

Even our friendship, which used to be so great

dropped down to almost nothing

I don't know who my friends are during this

Those who bring me up?

Those who bring me down?

Down

with the others

The pessimists

The ungodly

The ones who encourage drama

just to bring others down

I feel I need to bring you down

Because there's no more love, no more emotion

But why?

It wasn't you

or was it?

But it can't be me

or could it?

There are so many questions that can't be answered

So here i am

writing a silly little poem that no one will understand

But me

Or will you?

Could you read this and understand?

Feel how I do?

No

No, you can't

Because right now

I feel so alone...

yeah, it's kinda crappy, but i was mad when i wrote it and i still dont understand what i was going through then.