I have come to the conclusion that what holds me back is my desire to uphold what others think of me.  What people need to know is the real you, with all the mistakes and failures and problems.  That includes not trying to hold to somebody that you once were.  Maybe you can impress lots of people with fancy speeches, maybe you can be an example to the people around you, maybe even earn the respect of the elders around you.  That still doesn't change the person who you really are inside.  If you seek help, be honest with yourself first.  Don't be afraid to tell the world.

I've been going through a rollercoaster of emotions.  I can't stand having to become a person that people make of me.  But in a way, it keeps me in check.  Here's the truth:   I get in fights, I get in arguments with my parents, I get jealous at others and friends around me, and I think thoughts that I shouldn't be thinking. That's the truth.  But I am trying to find that spirituality again.  Putting up images of myself that aren't true has got to stop.