Honey, Are You Still Alive?

June 25 2005
Leland, you'll appreciate this.

So Finis walks up to me on the way to geography yesterday and starts elaborating on how we crazy emcees are going to be doing a Mr. and Mrs. Smith theme for the talent show here, complete with fight scenes, and that we're going to be playing the title roles.

Fun, no?

There's going to be a mass meeting to write the script.

I'm excited.

So yesterday we boarded a bus at about noon in order to go traipse through the home of William Falkner. Four hours and three turnarounds later, we're convinced we're going to die in the wilderness.
The house was nice. The grounds were lovely. The four-foot long poisonous snake was less than attractive, even at a distance. At which point I decide the gardens aren't lovely enough to get bitten over. Down the nature trail it is, then, complete with scoffing at the "don't go past the first bridge" warning! [Come on, I grew up crawling through underbrush without benefit of a trail. What can happen?] Hmmmm.... What's that old guy doing walking around in the wild untamed portion of the forest [which is actually a vast majority of the woods]? He looks lost. Except for the fact that he's staring intently at something red hanging limply from a tree. I'll get closer and try to see what it is! *A few steps later* Then again, mayyyyybe I won't. People die that way.
Boy, I miss that poisonous snake about as long as I am tall.... Time to go back! *JauntJauntJaunt*

Memphis mall was the best and longest part of that trip, aside from the drive, which definitely wins out on endurance. Helmut [our geography professor] ate dinner with us. He is one incredibly cool old guy. He prices Indian artefacts on the side, kind of like Indiana Jones! Except he's old, and not wreaking havoc upon the Nazi party. I have a studded belt now. For one-fifth the price of those at Hot Topic. It makes me happy. :) I've now been to five Hot Topics within the state of Tennessee. And a bunch of us tried on corsets at Charlotte Russe [which are really just interestingly cut, heavily embroidered polyester shirts with a few cable ties set at flattering angles, but hey, they were still pretty]. There is photographic evidence. I wound up locked out of the changing room, though. That got interesting. Especially when trying to find an associate. Oh well. Makes for a story.

Anyway....

It's the weekend. Oh joy, oh rapture. Well, it would be joy and rapture if I didn't have to be memorising the location of about fifty European geographical sites.

Oh dear. Creepy Over-the-Monitor Guy is back. After staring in the door and deciding whether he wants to come in. *Waves uncertainly* His demise has not yet come about. As is, granted, evident from the fact that he's here, alive and well. I could plot it, form it, perfect it until victory is certain, and he's still be oblivious.

....I like doing this a little too much.

[Ciao.]

::EDIT:: Oh. My God. Over-the-Monitor guy has a friend. I believe they're speaking in French. O_O *Doink* ::END EDIT::

Untitled

June 25 2005
I feel like death. Or maybe just hopeless.

*sighs*

Walkin' On Sunshine!

June 25 2005
Well, I would feel unloved that I only got 1 remark on my previous post, but I noticed that the same was true for most everyone who has posted since me, so I won't complain. I'm too happy to complain. I was so down and now things are just great... oh boo. I just noticed Atlanta Braves are beating someone. Darn the nasty Braves!!!
But anyhow, I'm still happy anyways. God has just blessed me so much.
Random side note: I think I may be shrinking. Either that or sizes are changing... strange...

Diary of A Madman

June 25 2005
You know i dont usually listen to Ozzy but i guess this week ill make an exception. Heres 2 songs that are pretty cool listen to them if you want but heres the lyrics anyways.

Diary of a Madman

Screaming at the window
Watch me die another day
Hopeless situation
Endless price I have to pay

Sanity now it's beyond me there's no choice

Diary of a madman
Walk the line again today
Entries of confusion
Dear diary I'm here to stay

Manic depression befriends me
Hear his voice
Sanity now it's beyond me
There's no choice

A sickened mind and spirit
The mirror tells me lies
Could I mistake myself for someone
Who lives behind my eyes
Will he escape my soul
Or will he live in me
Is he tryin' to get out or tryin' to enter me

Voices in the darkness
Scream away my mental health
Can I ask a question
To help me save me from myself

Enemies fill up the pages
Are they me
Monday till Sunday in stages
Set me free

-----
Revelation (Mother Earth) sidenote-> (lyrics stink but the guitar rifts are very soothing hehe)

Mother please forgive them
For they know not what they do
Looking back in history's books
It seems it's nothing new
Oh let my mother live

Heaven is for heroes
And hell is full of fools
Stupidity, no will to live
They're breaking God's own rules
Please let my mother live

Father, of all creation
I think we're all going wrong
The course they're taking
Seems to be breaking
And it won't take too long

Children of the future
Watching empires fall
Madness the cup they drink from
Self destruction the toll

I had a vision,
l saw the world burn
And the seas had turned red
The sun had fallen, the final curtain
In the land of the dead

Mother, please show the children
Before it's too late
To fight each other,
There's no-one winning
We must fight all the hate

bon jour

June 25 2005
french is a pretty language is some ways lol, I love the word love in french, it's beautiful.

anyways nothing much happened today. cept I went to patterson park to swim & run. I feel great now. running is great once you get past the ache in you legs haha. but yeah I run when I get really stressed now. you push yourself so hard to get to the finish, it gives you someting to look forward to. I usually pray when I run now. I've been feeling so great with God, I talk to him alot now. since I know for sure he's always there for me when everyone lets me down. relient k also does some miracles. lol

I've already got six friends, oh how I feel so loved. I think I am getting to like this better than xanga :] it's pretty awesome. & so much better people to meet. plus I take so many pictures & now it's so much easier to show them off lol.

okay well that's enough to bore you today. haha. have a wonderful day. yall are amazing.

I love you,
Jamie

for you:: http://artpad.art.com/?iinmubrgrg4

Am I imagining things?

June 25 2005
Something feels wrong. Very wrong. This feeling could just be a result of the things I'm dealing with, or it could be my overactive imagination, but I don't know. When I usually get this feeling, I'm not just being paranoid, but I guess there's a first time for everything. Something just feels...wrong. I don't know how else to describe it.

-----*EDIT*-----

Things feel a little better, but...Maybe I just needed to talk with a friend for a while. Maybe the feeling somehow reflected something that was happening in me.

It's not set in stone. Feelings are really hard to pin down.
So don't believe everything I blab about, lol.

christmas is exactly 6 months away!

June 25 2005
so, went to the roosevelts show last night, but didnt really go. listened to the serene sounds of john mayer in the park. wow, summer nights are awesome. i mean, whats better than sitting on a bench at 12am listening to the acoustic version of gettin jiggy with it? hmm...

yeah boyy

June 25 2005
wow has it been a while or what.. zach and i had our 6 month anniversary. were doin okay i suppose. i got my new phone on thursday.. finally! ha but i totally owe my mom 300 something dollars. =/ work is alright, but hey its some good money. i died my hair.. black. i like it verry much. well have a great week.

Green Day...

June 25 2005
I might be going to see Green Day in concert. I pulled up Ticketmaster and reserved 2 tickets.. well, as long as i dont close out of the box I have them reserved.

I really want to see them.

So, yeah, I'm bored.

Not a whole lot to say, so, I'll see you kids later.

Brett

This IS better than xanga..

June 25 2005
So everyone was right. This is a whole lot better than xanga.

Orientation for UT is Tuesday and Wednesday so that should be fun. The campus is awesome and I love the "college town" atmosphere so if my past two visits tell me anything about this fall, I'm going to love it.

It's been a while since I've taken the time to sit down and write something meaningful about life, friends, people, or anything really and when I want to find the right words to write they're not there. Maybe it's because I've become extremely lazy or even extremely busy but whatever the case is I want to write something that everyone can connect with on all levels for you guys to enjoy :-).

Life couldn't get any better right now and I owe that to my friends who keep me laughing and to my girlfriend who keeps me smiling.

peace.love.kudos

Psalm 91:1-6

June 25 2005


photo from clint

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

Last night

June 25 2005
I have finished The Case for a Creator. Very good book, had me convinced. Tonight I'm doing the movie night thing at Jenna's.

how long must we sing this song?

June 25 2005
my swedish fish left yesterday. i miss her.

and... idk. i'm so confused. i feel like a hypocrite. why does everything feel so RIGHT with that boy? why did it have to at prom? why does it have to now? he chose ang over me and yet... it still feels right.

f-ing a.

I wanna be beautiful......

June 25 2005
Well, I just got done reading "my heart" aka Hope's phusebox site, and the song that she post is one of the best songs for a girl to hear!! It's by Bethany Dillon and it's called Beautiful! But it's an awesome song of how we try to be outwardly beautiful by the world's standards...but she fails! And she's tired! She wants to try a new kind of beauty! And that's the beauty that she recieve from Christ!!
I was talking to Michael last night, and we got on the subject of how girls/women present themselves! How we dress, how we flirt, how we get guys attention and how we keep their attention...how we do WHATEVER we as girls do! And something that Jared Herd...a guy, girls.....said at BigStuf camp was, "Girls are so so valuable(sp)!! And if a guy doesn't accept you.....he doesn't derserve you!" Amen to what he says!! Girls.....you mean so much more than that!!! I asked Michael last night if he knew why girls did what they did, he kinda did, but not really! Which I think most guys don't, maybe not all but most! And I told him, because that's what the world tells us how we should look to be beautiful! We see these women, small, beautiful, and they get men's attention! And as girls, attention is very big to us!! We might not act like it, but it is! And how else is a girl who doesn't know that she's worth something, doesn't know what God thinks of her....how else is she suppose to be beautiful! And I think that's way I love to talk to girls around my age so much! I've been there! I've felt exactly how girls feel! I think every girl has!!! I'm not saying girls, to stop wearing make-up, to put on sweat-pants and a sweat-shirt....to never let a guy pay you any attention! All I'm saying is that you....yes, you....are beautiful just the way you are! God didn't make a mistake when He made you! Do you think that a God that paints the sky a different way everyday could make a mistake! A God so creative could do such a thing!? If you do, why don't you ask Him and talk to Him about that! He'd love for you to know the REAL Him! Not the one that are lies about Him! Girls...I know it's hard....we fight and fight to be beautiful outside!! But can anyone agree with me that the world will never be happy with the way you are?! You have to keep changing with how the world changes! And no one will ever be happy enough with the way you are!! Why make yourself tired?! I know what your thinkin'.....well how else am I suppose to get someone!! I've gotta hold there attention! And all I have to say to that is.....well, I hope someday you'll realize that if you have to hold his attention with the way your body looks....he's not good enough for you! You're a treasure....find a guy that'll treat you like one! They are out there! I promise!! Find a guy that would think your beautiful with no make-up and in sweat-pant and sweat-shirt! That loves you at your lowest of lows and when you look you're worst! Someone that sees and loves you for how you are in the inside!! That's the kinda man you wanna wait for!! And I know that all girls want a guy like this....but sometimes it's hard to let go of what you have! Let go girls.........fall in love with the perfect man.....Jesus! The one who never says the wrong things, does the wrong things and is always ready to talk! That's another thing! Don't hold guys to being perfect...I know I've done that! They aren't! They make mistakes just like us!! If you hold them to that...your in for a big letdown! But God will send you someone when the timing is perfect....are you willing to wait?!

pictures!

June 25 2005
leaving for camp tommrrow at 5:00 (but i like have to be at school at 4:30) be back late thursday night

& i don't have to tumble with my brace anymore!!!!

here are a couple of pictures



photo from kayla
the team & scott & mike at practice



photo from kayla
this is at my sister's birthday



photo from kayla
me, nicole, tiarra, ashley, & jessica..with elizabeth in the back

Untitled

June 24 2005
ok so hasnt that much been going on really. me and megan are still going out . things are good between us both still. im still keeping out of trouble. i saw andy chitavong ( not spelt right) the other day up at walmart with me and michael so we sat and talked to him fro a while he said things had been going pretty good for him. he seemed pretty good but today i went out and finally got the shoes for vacation and they ended up being $110 which im really glad i am not paying for. arnt i so lucky to have parents that would buy me them lol when i get older and have kids we will be going to payless and walmart and goodwill. just like what i used to have to do. never thought about it untill recently just how lucky i really am. you see i didnt grow up into a very wealthy family we wernt poor but we didnt have the most money ever . we ( me, my 2 sisters , mom and dad) lived in a 2 bedroom 1 bath house in saint petersburg florida . money was very tight . just the stuff we needed is what we got. didnt live in the best of the neighborhoods. lets just say things werent how my parents or any parents would want there kids to live . we managed it though . there are alot worse people out there but it just wasnt all that great , but furtunatly my parents some how managed to get a house up here and okay paying jobs and a 2 story ,3 bedroom ,2 bath house that me my dad and his friends all worked on to make a 5 bedroom house and things sence weve moved here have been good. just trying to say no1 apperciates what they have . ive been there . i know what it feels like to be the kid getting made fun of. i know how it feels to be the kid with holey and dirty jeans because i couldnt get anymore. i know how it feels to live paycheck to paycheck not being able to have all the little fancy stuff that every1 has. i was always last to get something out of everyone. for christmas when i got handme downs i used to think it was like a pot of gold when i was littler. just trying to point out that alot of people dont appreciate what they have . but they should because them 100 doller shoes or there 75 doller jeans or there new hair doo will not always be there and your going to wish that people didnt judge you the way you judged them buy there money and not by who they really are...but gtg i love you megan


If I could offer you only tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...I will dispense this advice now.


Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; Oh nevermind; you will not understand the power of beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at the photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...You're not as fat as you imagine.


Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.


Do one thing that everyday that scares you.


Sing


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Floss


Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.


Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.


Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.


Stretch


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.


Get plenty of calcium


Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.


Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either- your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.


Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.


Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.


Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.


Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.


Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.


Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.


Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Travel


Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.


Respect your elders.


Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.


Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's 40, it will look 85.


Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.


But trust me on the sunscreen...

uh. . .

June 24 2005
and why excactly did i sign up for another addicting website??

June 25 2005

June 24 2005
It has been a while since I have posted so I thought it was due time. - - - - So much has happened in the past couple of weeks! I know I might be late saying this but... Big Stuf camp was AWESOME! You could really tell that God was working on every person's life there. I really needed to see God in such a real yet different way. Big Stuf Camp really helped minister to me in my time of need. Through the the death of Kyle I have felt both an extreme seperation from God but also an extreme closeness with Him. It is weird how God uses these so called valleys in our life to become even more real to us. I know that God had me at Big Stuf for a reason and I KNOW that He was moving in my life there. That to me is amazing to think about. I can still remember getting the news about Kyle and screaming that I couldn't do it again. I was certain that I couldn't go through what I had done 2 times before, especially with Bruce. I was broken in half and felt like God was taking my already wounded heart out and riping it in half and stomping on it once again. It is so so crazy how hopless I felt, yet now exactly a month since Kyle's accedent, I can say I have victory with Christ!There are so many example of God moving in my life the past 4 weeeks. I wish that I could write about all of the examples of God's work in my life but if I were to do that, I would be typing for a long time, so I will spare yall. I just want anyone who reads this to know that if you are feeling hopless I have gone through a hoplessness this past month, I never thought I would have to experience. Yet God continued to help me and mold me into the man he wants me to be. Please know that if you are in a where' s God time in you life, God is beside you whether you feel him or not. ---- Maybe I will write more later on what God has taught me through this situation. Until my next entry, I hope everyone is having a great day, night, week, ect.

my big big purchase

June 24 2005
i bought my iPod tonight!!! i am soooo excited! i used like 2/3 of my check and i will be living on $100 for two weeks. and even then, i still owe mom $43.88 for tax! (eek!) but it is so worth it! i should have it in like a week. so, anyone who would like to help show my how everything works, i would by much obliged!

_bekah

Ugly Formals Made Gorgeous

June 24 2005
Went to Dillard's today with Steffy. I made her try on the ugliest formals I could find. And she totally made them look incredible. I swear, we're getting her that butterfly dress.

Megan, Leah, Grace, Jane, Michael, and Brian wound up meeting us there in Dillards. After seeing what I did to Steffy, Grace asked me to pick her out some formals too. So I did. And she totally rocked them.



photo from Janie_pants

Look at how gorgeous she is! Doesn't it make you sick? And I totally picked that dress out for her (with tip from Megan). Damn those top 2 inches! DAMN THEM!!!

Wish I could play dress up like that. But then again, I am playing seeing as how I get to pick out all the clothes. Steffy and Grace are just my little dollies... who are both taller than me. And are 3 or more sizes smaller than me...

Shut up. I didn't ask you. :p

Jane is awesome because she made Mac - n - Cheese! Mmm. I'm awesome because I made brownies. And totally turned Michael into my kitchen bitch.

Hah... that was hilarious.

Told him to study his kitchen so he'll be better prepared for the next time I cook at his house. ^_^

Who wants to go to a cleaning party at my house? Will involve moving a few pieces of furniture, putting books on shelves, possibly HANGING shelves, dusting, vacuuming, etc. And pizza or some other form of delivery/take out. And you'll get to see the coolest room in the world (besides Abby Donnel's). And you'll get to sit or possibly even lay down on the world's coolest waterbed. Don't believe me? Ask Michael and Steffy.

A great day

June 24 2005
Today I finally was able to do some ministry. Yeah! I do consider my work in the office as ministry, but at the same time, it is just different to be out on the streets among the people.
We took the Frontier Missions DTS to Brooklyn for prayer stations today. I prayed with a woman named Eloisa. She was looking for a church for her son to join. He is addicted to crack. As we continued to talk, she mentioned that her daughter had been killed by a drunk driver 14 years ago. We talked for a minute about that before she said good-bye and went on with her life. That's such an amazing part of prayer stations. For a brief moment, you enter into this total stranger's life and hear their problems. You take it to the Throne, which is usually an emotional and bonding experience. And the they are gone. Just a moment, yet weeks later that person will enter into your mind to lift in prayer again.
But as Eloisa and I talked about her daughter, we shared how although life goes on after a loss like that, the pain never leaves. 14 years later, she still cries and hurts. And she always will. That is not unhealthy. That is normal. Unexpected grief leaves a deep scar, but instead of the skin being numb, it is the opposite. It is sensitive to touch for the rest of your life. Even after you stop wincing in public or protecting the area, you still feel the pain. No one else knows, and honestly, it's not necessary for them to know. You have to learn how to cope with your scar and go on with life. But the pain, it never leaves.
Tonight was also the first night of the Billy Graham Crusade. You can read my xanga site to learn more about my experience there.

lost...

June 24 2005
Feeling lost lately and don't know why. Feeling definitely attachment problems. Don't know how to fix it all. All in all I would say I'm very lost and confused about a lot right now and don't know what to do to make anything better. Feeling hopeless.

I am learning...

June 24 2005
I had a great night.......we ended up at the park once again, which is a great place. I started to learn how to play guitar.

Then we all went to J-MO's house and watched Kindergarten Cop, which is really funny.

But I think that I really am learning things from this whole no dating thing. I have overcome alot of struggles already, but with God by my
side I am ready to take them all on. I know that the worst times are to come, but I think that I am ready.

Peace

Unreached Peoples Fact
The four largest Least-Reached people groups are the Japanese of Japan, the Bengali of Bangladesh, the Shaikh of India, and the Western Punjabi of Pakistan.


Missions Scripture
"Tell of His glory among the nations, His wonderful deeds among all the peoples. For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised"
I Chron 16:24-25

This Post is Dedicated to All My Sister's In Christ

June 24 2005
I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I
cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

[Chorus]
I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

[Chorus]

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

Meh, work in progress

June 24 2005
The Soundtrack of My Life
- Opening Credits: "College Kids" by Relient K
- Waking-Up scene: "Breakfast" by The Newsboys
- Average Day scene: "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins
- Falling In Love scene: "I Want To Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles
- Love Scene: Susanna's Soul Piece as performed by Susanna Robinson
- Fight With a Friend scene: "One Step Closer" by Linkin Park
- Break-Up/Post Break-Up scene: "Forgotten" by Avril Lavigne
- Lonely scene: "Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne
- Get Back Together scene: "Mood Ring" by Relient K
- Fight scene: "Kick Me" by Plus One
- Wandering Around Randomly scene: "Mission's Flame" by Matt Redman
- Heartbreak scene: "My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne
- Mental Breakdown scene: "Going Crazy" by Plus One
- Driving scene: "Phenomenon" by Thousand Foot Crutch
- Sex scene: "Lala" by Ashlee Simpson
- Dream sequence: "The Prophet Song" by Queen
- Party scene: "Jump, Jump, Jump" by Joy Williams
- Happy Dance scene: "Love, Liberty, Disco" by The Newsboys
- Regret scene: "I Am Understood" by Relient K
- Long Night Alone scene: "The Thirst Is Taking Over" by Skillet
- Closing credits: "One Day More" from Les Miserables

one week down...

June 24 2005
Today was day five of my journey into the heart of the dangerous plains of the Phillips bookstore. Today our safari group had a run in with the mighty Regina, queen of the stock room. She charged me at full speed when i invaded her territory of the janitorial closet. You see, Regina is the custodial artist who maintains the facillities at the bookstore, and apparently i angered her getting a trash bag out of her closet without her permission. It was fun though because she chased me with a broom for a little while and then i ran away.
Sarah, my mom, and I watched "Coach Carter" tonight, it was very good. Aside from the strong language, Samuel L. Jackson did an amazing job. If you have not already seen it i strongly reccomend that you do so.
I will be a "Barnabus Buddy" for the first time at VBS next week, i'm a little intimidated by this because i've never done anything like that before. So if you see me running around the church yelling for Tanner, i'm looking for a little Autistic boy who loves sea life and bull frogs.
until next time...

The Worst Good Concert

June 24 2005
Roosevelts were awesome. but everytime i go to their shows something bad happens:

Taylor (and DJ?) got jealous that me and Karissa were hanging out with Eric so much but he wasnt feeling good about stuff.

Dj and I broke up. i think.

Leslie threw up. and then i started coughing and couldnt breathe. then we started laughing to where we couldnt breathe.

and some other stuff. but thats mostly it. got 2 free cds im gonna go listen to now.

Interlude to Chapter 5: Apetite For Replication

June 24 2005
Last year I had to go to one of those "adult" parties. I think you know the kind of party I mean: People brought their screaming children and someone inexplicably served fresh cornbread, and half the house stood around and watched the local new affiliate when it came on at 11:00 P.M. I spent the whole evening in the kitchen with the two guys I came with; we tried to have an exclusionary conversation despite the fact that we consciously drove to this party in order to be social. Most of the guests began to exit around midnight, which is the same time some odd fellow I'd never seen before suddenly appeared next to the refridgerator and pulled out a Zippo lighter and a little wooden box.

The gathering took a decidedly different turn.

Ten minutes later, I found it necessary to mention that Journey was rock's version of the TV show Dynasty. This prompted a spirited debate we dubbed " Monkees = Monkees." The goal is to figure out which television show is the closest philosophical analogy to a specific rock 'n' roll band, and the criteria is mind-blowingly complex: It's a combination of longevity, era, critical acclaim, commercial success, and--most important--the aesthetic soul of each artistic entity. For example, the Rolling Stones are Gunsmoke. The Strokes are Sutherland's 24. Jimi Hendrix was The Twilight Zone. Devo was Fernwood 2-Night. Lynyrd Skynyrd was The Beverly Hillbillies, which makes Molly Hatchet Petticoat Junction. The Black Crowes are That 70's Show. Hall & Oates were Bosom Buddies. U2 is M*A*S*H (both got preachy at the end). Dokken was Jason Bateman's short-lived sitcom It's Your Move. Eurythmics were Mork & Mindy. We even deduced comparisons for solo projects, which can only be made series that were spawned as spin-offs. The four Beatles are as follows: John = Maude, Paul = Frasier, George = The Jeffersons, and Ringo = Flo. David Lee Roth's solo period was Knots Landing.

So there's proof: Marijuana makes you smarter.









.............

Awesome

June 24 2005
well i had a pretty awesome day today.yeah i babysat but we went to the library and some of my friends met us up there and that was awesome and we walked around the square and stuff it was pretty cool.
then i came home and got ready and went to the mall with Megan and Brian and that was fun.it was interesting to say the least.I think we may have bored Brian alittle bit but hey I had fun and i hope he did cuz me and Meg had a blast.
anyways i don't know if i have to work tomorrow or not i hope i don't cuz it would be like my only day off so yeah.i plan on going to the rec center with Meg if we don't have to work so im praying we don't have to work.
but yeah it's all good.....

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!
GOD BLESS!!!
Leah

tired

June 24 2005
hey evry1!well though i would write in this cause xanga isent workin at the moment well yah im tired just got back from sixflags and a braves game that was so much stinking fun!!umm yah new fav ride there dajavu and then that wooden 1 but it was so fun!!the braves lost though haha but owell...umm tommro i havta like mow and all this junk...sunday church!sunday school thingy afternoon and then church again fun stuff!welp thats all 4 now bye

pat

movie night

June 24 2005
Movie night tomorrow night at my house!!! Not sure what movie but we can decide when everyone gets here. If you wanna come leave me a comment. Call the cell 631-1837 if you need directions. Will start around like 6:30-7

Nerves

June 24 2005
So Danny is going to MTSU now.
I am going to TTU still.
Kyle probably wants to go to MTSU now.
Stephen is going to TTU still.
Sarah is going to UT still.
Alex will be at TTU.
Thank God I know I can count on Rachel my roomie not to back out on me!
I dont want to lose touch with any of these people... Im sooo scared that I will though. Gosh I dont know where all these nerves about this came from. I can only imagine what it will be like come end of august.

Taken from Ashley, given to me and you!

June 24 2005
The Soundtrack of My Life
- Opening Credits: "The Best of Me" by The Starting Line
- Waking-Up scene: "Woke Up This Morning (Chosen One Mix)" by Alabama 3
- Average Day scene: "H-U-S-T-L-E (Remix)" by Murs, feat. E-40, Chingo Bling, and John Cena
- Falling In Love scene: "Senorita" by Justin Timberlake
- Love Scene: "Chariot" by Gavin DeGraw
- Fight With a Friend scene: "Bring 'Em Out" by T.I.
- Break-Up/Post Break-Up scene: "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
- Lonely scene: "Best of You" by The Foo Fighters
- Get Back Together scene: "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys
- Fight scene: "Just Close Your Eyes" by Waterproof Blonde
- Wandering Around Randomly scene: "Stay Home" by Self
- Heartbreak scene: "All Or Nothing" by O-Town
- Mental Breakdown scene: "Ohio is for Lovers" by Hawthorne Heights
- Driving scene: "Days Go By" by Keith Urban
- Sex scene: "Collide" by Howie Day
- Dream sequence: "Number One Spot" by Ludacris
- Party scene: "Beverly Hills" by Weezer
- Happy Dance scene: "Pop" by N'Sync
- Regret scene: "Back To Your Heart" by Backstreet Boys
- Long Night Alone scene: "Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely" by Backstreet Boys
- Closing credits: "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer

woah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 24 2005
well we were supposed to be leaving in iike 5 hours but dad cant sleep so were leaving now!!!!!!!!!!! im so excited and i was gonna put a goodbye post on xanga but stupid it its down *thanks God for phusebox* so GOODBYE ALL i love you guys

Thanks guys, thought i would bring this back...

June 24 2005
The Soundtrack of My Life
- Opening Credits: “100 Years" Five for Fighting
- Waking-Up scene: “Welcome to my Life" Simple Plan
- Average Day scene: “Holiday" Greenday
- Falling In Love scene: “Drops of Jupiter" Train
- Love Scene: “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" Jet
- Fight With a Friend scene: “Lets Get it Started" Black Eyed Peas
- Break-Up/Post Break-Up scene: “Harder to Breathe" Maroon 5
- Lonely scene: “Breakaway" Kelly Clarkson
- Get Back Together scene: “I'll Be" Edwin McCain
- Fight scene: “Fighter” Christina Aquilera
- Wandering Around Randomly scene: “American Idiot" Greenday
- Heartbreak scene: “Are You Happy Now" Michelle Branch
- Mental Breakdown scene: “Going Under” by Evanescence
- Driving scene: “The Pineapple Song"
- Sex scene: "Clocks" Coldplay
- Dream sequence: “Stay" 12 Stones
- Party scene: “1985" Bowling for Soup
- Happy Dance scene: “First Day" MxPx
- Regret scene: “Broken Wings" Alterbridge
- Long Night Alone scene: “Bright Lights" Matchbox 20
- Closing credits: “Wonder Boy" Tenacious D

Happy times in the Smoky Mountains

June 24 2005
I just got back From The Smokies, The Cabin we stayed in was awesome, everything was awesome cept for the MOUNTAIN ROACHES!!!!! My room was the only one with the Roaches. And as Stuart asked me last night, they weren't dressed as lumber Jacks, They all wore Tight Leather pants and they were crazy about picking out fabric colors, so I assumed that they were in fact Gay Roaches. And I saw Very Violent films via sattelite dish such as Kill Bill vol.1 and vol.2[where Uma Thurman Kills People], Good Fellas[Where Joe Pesci says Badwords and gets shot in the head], Predator[Arnold talks funny], Once Upon a Time in Mexico[Jonny Depp gets his eyes drilled out and Goth Girls still think he's hot]. Oh yeah and we did alot of other stuff too, but Typing is soooo hard on my fingers.

Untitled

June 24 2005
hmmm its funny how people change and grow away from each other isn't it?? I don't know its kinda sad when you think about it but then again if it never really happened i would not have met all the friends i have know and certain special someones {which i like a lot haha}

So what happened to the simple days!?!?!?! Like if you think about it this is my last year being a "kid" then i have to go to college and become an adult and do some boring stuff that adults do and im only 16 still :-( dang that stinks..oh well ill have fun and make the best of it!! i know i shouldn't be thinking of stuff like this but i do for some reason?? well ill quit rambling!!
Love you all,
Rach

someone

June 24 2005
someone please explain to me why i always feel bad for things that aren't my fault.

A runners story

June 24 2005
This is something that was written by my friend's brother...I read it and was like wow...that's pretty incredible. I didn't even know this kid was capable of that. It was written by John Brookshire...he's a runner and he goes to Riverdale...just in case any of yall know him.

No longer do I rely on a gun to tell me when I can go, I have no blocks to give me strong starts, thier are no lanes to limit me with boundaries... and their is no clock to beat, cuz theirs no one to chase, and theirs no one chasing...their is no tape waiting at the finish line, and thier are no medals awarded for what I achieve, only this soul-seeking journey, when the person I am is no longer measured by milliseconds and I can finally look into the mirror and know that i'm enough.

Treelow?

June 24 2005


photo from regularbecca

Does anyone else watch "Bear in the Big Blue House?" This is treelow....or triloh....or trilow...I have no idea how it is spelled. Does anyone know? He is probably my favorite cartoon/puppet guy ever.

Photo From crazy_lil_ali24

June 24 2005


photo from crazy_lil_ali24

MY BFF ALLYSON PARNELL!!ISNT SHE SO PRETTY!!! I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH!!!

here is kyle!!!


photo from crazy_lil_ali24

here is mi gangsta meagan


photo from crazy_lil_ali24

here is mi brother trin to sing lol"we belong together"


photo from crazy_lil_ali24

and last but not least the beautiful TADI!!!


photo from crazy_lil_ali24

Whoo Hoo

June 24 2005


photo from SingAHappySong

Today was a lot of fun! Mom and I went to Franklin to go see Matthew West. We got there and it was hot and crowded and I was starting to wonder if it was really worth it. But then I saw Amber and Michael and so I knew I had to stay a while longer then. We had fun together and Patrick came along after a while, but he was quite late. I also saw Garrett's little cousins so that was kinda random. I also saw Alli Scott from my English class back in the day... high school... not too long ago yet it seems that way... Anyhow, after a couple of Sanctus Real songs, Mom and I decided we were ready to go cool off at the Galleria (though I do like Sanctus Real... it was pretty hot!)

In my almost two years in TN, this was actually my first time at the Cool Springs Galleria. It was nice, but whoever decided to call it Galleria was majorly jipping y'all. A real Galleria is the Houston Galleria... three malls in one, three floors, and an ice rink that Tara Lipinski practices on in the middle of it all... but hey, I would pick Franklin over Houston anyday. Franklin's nice and I wouldn't mind living there one day. Anyhow, all I got was a pair of pants and a shirt at the Gap (figures) but they're both really cute so it made me happy. We ate at Ruby Tuesday in the mall and went to Lifeway in Franklin as well. Mom wasn't too impressed because her old Lifeway was about the same size.

So that was pretty much my day... it was pretty good. Oh yeah, and I think I'm going to stick with geology because it sounds like most all the physical science teachers are hard. Oh well, I guess rocks can be cool...

Photo From matt

June 24 2005


photo from matt

Taken from Graham, given to Phusebox.

June 24 2005
a) Get a pen
b) Get a paper
c) Number it 1-13!
d) Answer these questions!((NO PEEKING))


1. What's your favorite color out of:
A. Green
B. Blue
C. Orange
D. Black
E. Pink

2. What color is your hair?
A. Blonde/Dirty Blonde
B. Brown
C. Red
D. Black
E. Bald or any other color

3. What color are your eyes?
A. Hazel
B. Green
C. Brown
D. Blue
E. black

4. What is your favorite sport out of:
A. Basketball
B. Cheerleading
C. Football
D. Soccer
E. Baseball

5. What's your favorite way to talk?
A. Phone
B. In Person
C. Instant Message
D. E-mail
E. Letters (Mail)

6. What is your favorite kinda music out of:
A. Rap
B. Country
C. Hard Rock
D. Pop
E. General Rock

7. Who's your favorite singer out of:
A. Ludacris
B. Tim McGraw
C. Ozzy Osbourne
D. Nsync
E. Shakira

8. What's your favorite show out of:
A. Jackass (MTV)
B. The Simpsons
C. SpongeBob SquarePants
D. Surviver
E. The Osbournes


9. What's your favorite movie out of:
A. Not Another Teen Movie
B. Joy Ride
C. I Know What You Did Last Summer
D. Forest Gump
E. Shrek

10. What month were you born?
January February March April May June July August
September October November December

11. Name a person of the opposite sex.

12. Name a person of the same sex.

13. Now make a wish! (you have to write this down or
it wont work!)












--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Answers





1. Green- Fun to be around
Blue- Stylish
Orange- Funky
Black- Lonely
Pink- Sweet

2. Blonde/Dirty Blonde- Hyper
Brown- Causal
Red- Tough
Black- Holds back feelings
Bald or any other color- Free Spirit

3. Hazel- Out Going
Green- Happy
Brown- Loud
Blue- Cute
Black- Unpredictable

4. Basketball- Direct
Cheer leading- Never Gives Up
Football- Watchful
Soccer- Nice
Baseball- Loveable

5. Phone- Busy a lot of the time
In Person- Social able
Instant Message- A Leader
E-mail- Has a lot of friends
Letters (Mail)- Has many thoughts

6. Rap- Friendly
Country- Cute
Hard Rock- Wild
Pop- unoriginal
General Rock- Pretty cool to hang around

7. Ludacris- Loves to Party
Tim McGraw- Sexy
Ozzy Osbourne-awesome
N'sync- boring
Shakira- Fun

8. Jackass- Awesome
The Simpsons- Funny
Sponge Bob Square Pants- Cool
Surviver- Adventurous
The Osbournes- Knows how to have a great time

9. Not Another Teen Movie- Knows who they are
Joy Ride- Cool
I Know What You Did Last Summer- Fun
Forest Gump- Has a big heart
Shrek- oRiGinaL

10. January- Funny
February- Loveable
March- Loves to be noticed a lot
Apri l- Easy going
May- Loves to be around a lot of people
June- Stylish
July- Rude
August- A good friend
September- Loves to flirt
October-strict
November-nice
December-sweet

11. That Person *Will* fall in love with you if you
put this on ur xanga

12. This person *Will* become your enemy if you don't
put this on ur xanga/phusebox

13. This wish *Will* come true if you put this on ur xanga/phusebox

I wish I could be the one, the one who won't care at all

June 24 2005
^Avenged Sevenfold^

Alex has decided to send me a letter every couple of days. Woohoo.

And Ruth told me that he has been telling Fred and the rest of the "trombone crew" [haha] that I was the one that was "attacked to him" and trying to get back together with him. Thats just retarded. Hes the one that wont stop calling me and sending me texts. And most of the time I just ignore him. Gah. I hate boys sometimes. He sure is making it hard to be his friend. I mean, he wont fucking leave me alone. BAH

Im sooooooo annoyed with with Nick and Heather and that "group" of friends. I dunno. They just seem so selfish sometimes. Like I dunno. I just get soo easily annoyed with everyone. I hate when I do that. It pisses me off that Im sooo easily annoyed. What is wrong with me?!

And I just wish theyd be a little more supportive with all this Alex shit. Like anytime I mention it they all say Im so dumb for even trying to be his friend. I dunno .They are making me feel much worse than I already am and that kinda shouldnt be the way it is.

Besides that everything is going good. I

yes, the last post was my sis

June 24 2005
i didnt write that! all of that is true, though.... and i do love sonuts....but i am not obsessive! promise! lol....anyways.... today i have done absolutely nuthing....but get in the pool.....jenny came over and talked for a while...shes getting married in NINE FREAKING DAYS!!! im so excited....i am officially the wedding helper! lol....anyways.... im tired and i am going to go!

fOrEvEr aNd aLwAyS mY bAbY yOuLl bE!!!

tAyLoR

Phone Numbers!

June 24 2005
Well today ended the 2nd week of camp :( I think I have too much fun there! Anywho one of my campers asked me to come to his house tomorrow but I was like I don't even know where you live silly boy! He finally got me to give him my phone number. I hope that I made the right decision b/c Susan who works with me says he calls her like 5 times a day! Oi! Anywho it'll be alright!

A Rediscovery In a Way

June 24 2005
wow. today i just realized i still have an acc. on phusebox.

so. hi. just found out im going to Oakland.

Roosevelt's concert tonight at 6:30 at new vision baptist. 4 bucks to get in.

yeah. i think im gonna go now...

Untitled

June 24 2005
im testing for 2nd recommended black belt in taekwondo tonight!!! yea scary when you dont member parts of stuff!!! but aerobics... havent liked them the last 2 days!!! have a great weekend... i might help rachel with her tosses tomorrow!!!

I'm Feeling GOOD

June 24 2005
Man...it's almost over...YES...i'm coming home soon...but then again i don't want to leave these people...i feel like they are my original friends from Eagleville...some i really want to get away from but for about 15 of them i don't want them to go away b/c they're so much fun to be around...it makes me want to cry...i've made good relationships with these people...these people are apart of my HOMIES now...but they live all around this state...so i don't know what i'm going to do...well gtg and do the rest of my stuff...ttyl

hellohello

June 24 2005
xanga gets old, so I thought I'd try something new. just thought I'd share with you what I wrote on my last entry.

anyways do you guys ever have that time where God just come into your life after a long long time, even when you try to convince yourself He's there but you know He's not? It kinda had that happened to me last night. I've been doing my quiet times everyday now && it's been a big slap in the face for me. I've seen how I have been living lately && I just dont like it very much. It's an overwhelming feeling, but the good kind. it's just like I told Reese the other day. it feels good. because it's something new & you can feel it taking place. I'm also starting to write again. cause I've been writing but it's all crap and for the first time in months & months I've written something good. something inspiring. it's like this peace just took over me & this joy replaced my other thoughts I've been having. but I ended up making some commitments to God last night. because last night I had a YMT meeting & Duane lead us in a bible study of making choices.

example:: you could go to your friend's birthday party. this is a friend you've been wanting to witness to, so maybe this is a chance to talk or become closer to them to work your way to sharing the gospel with them. or you could go to that youth trip.

Duane said it all depended on the mission focus & the decisions I made last night between God & I, are some great ones. but giving up some things right now seems like what I needto focus on God & so I can lead more people to Him. the commitments I made dont sound like me at all & you'll probably think I cant do it...it's going to be hard but what comes easily in this life?

ask me on aim & I could share my commitments..it's more of a personal thing so I dont want it plastered on the internet.

I love you all.
Jamie

Joshua Tree

June 24 2005
Well, I have been extremely busy the last few days. I have basically been working on a series of videos that will be shown at PAINT THE TOWN at the end of July...

Today, I ate lunch at a place called Joshua Tree... it was excellent. One of the best meals that I have had since I have been here... and it was very affordable as well. Speaking of which, I need to stop eating out... my funds are near gone.

Anyways, I am coming to the Boro for the 4th of July... (July 3-6)... Maybe I will get to see some of you soon!

This weekend, I will be working on some of the major bugs with PhuseBox (especially some of the group problems)... More features are being added as well. PhuseBox is about to get a lot better.

[nt]

Untitled

June 24 2005
Your a nerd quit hating.

Hello Friends!!!

June 24 2005
I'm so tired! Today my dad, my friend Tara, and I went to a park to have lunchs where we were chased by rather larger and rabid geece, and then we played tennis. I got my racquet today too! I was $90 marked down from like $200 so I was happy. It's white and black and is a Wilson. It's a rather large 110 sq. in. head but it will be a great racquet to start me off playing well. Later on I will advance to a midsized head. I want to pretty much stick with Wilson, though. It's my favorite. But Prince and I think Head are also very good racquet brands as well.
Well, that's pretty much it. I'm not doing much here in Louisville, KY. But I am having time to do my summer work which is a good reason I'm not running around with friends each day in Murfreesboro. I can't wait to see Anna tomorrow when she comes in from Zach's brother's? wedding. Well.... I'm gonna go! I'll talk to you all soon!
-Dana :)

Untitled

June 24 2005
i either should start summer reading or not do any at all!

Our Reason, Our Fight...Our Cause.

June 24 2005


photo from clint

"Praise the One who paid my debt...
who raised this life up from the dead..."

This picture is what Big Stuf 05 was all about. Worshiping the One who gives us hope. Praising the Author and perfector of our Faith. Decreasing so that He would become big. However, praising and worshiping the Creator was not resigned to just last week at Big Stuf. We can worship and praise Jesus here at the 'Boro or WHEREVER we are. This is why we were created. If you need purpose, if you need direction, if you need to be refocused, if your stuck, if your lost, if your BLAH, if your face is broken out and you hate the way you look...realign...rethink...gather...open up...let go...allow yourself to be loved...cry out to Him...Jesus.

These are evil days brothers and sisters. Colossians 3:17 and 1 Corthians 10:31 should be our cause and why we fight the good fight of faith. The reason why we were created is to bring our Creator glory. Is your life a life that is bringing glory to our King? Make the wise decision and surrender your life to the One who gave you life. Now is a good time to start.

Aerobics Kill

June 24 2005
Today has been so horrible...we did like all the stupid lunges in aerobics that you could possibly do yesterday...and now i can't even walk. Neither can most of the other girls...and then today we go in and pretty much kill ourselves again doing suicides, shuffle drills, running, MORE lunges and it is just killin me lol. Well i should get used to it in a week or so. I am building up to it lol. I just want band camp to get here! We got our buddies yesterday in guard too and i have allie! i am so excited it's gonna be so much fun teaching tosses! Well i'm gonna go watch a movie. Love you guys!

[chels]

P.S. My username is french... for "singing passion" well that's what it is supposed to be it is actually translated out to "passion singing" but who cares...

It's Just You And Me.

June 24 2005
I feel so utterly stupid.

I feel ugly.

I feel like a failure.

I hate being so emotional. I ask my dad to take me into town to Sarah's so I could hang out with her and he says no. Of course I feel very stupid and I feel like crying. I always do that. Each time my parents say I can't do something or they scold me I always end up getting angry or wanting to cry. I'm so pathetic.

I mean I haven't been out of the house since last week. All I want to do is be able to hangout with my friends and have a good time. All we were gonna do was probably lay out and then go to the car show.

I hate letting people step all over me. I always let people make fun of me and I do nothing about it. I am so effin emo. I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm tired of being bored. Every day is rountine. For once I try to break out of that rountine, it gets shot down. Gah.

Sorry for such a whiny post.

Untitled

June 24 2005
The world today is upside down because there is so very little love in the home, and in family life. We have no time for each other. Everybody is in such a terrible rush, and so anxious…and in the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world.


-Mother Teresa

Summer

June 24 2005
Well summer had been pretty uneventful. JUst football and swimmin. Man, I gotta work Saturday. I work puttin up fences, and we have to put up a 4,000 yard farm fence. O well, 7 dollars an hour. More than minimal wage. So that is good.

Peace

Big Will

Untitled

June 24 2005
work is becoming fun, and i didn't mess anything up last night... my last night of training. so i guess i finally graduated into real work now. i have the day off today and i'm going to the park to throw the baseball with my roomate. i work the weekend and double on sunday for brunch.... that is absolutely a madhouse craziness at the concourse, but its dollars so how could i complain. hope everyone who reads this is doing well and enjoying the nice warm weather, or whatver weather you are recieving at the current time. talk to you beautiful people later

I've got to admit, it's getting better...

June 24 2005
So, yesterday was a blast. I chilled at Starbucks with one of my old friends that I hadent seen in forever. So, I guess a couple of my friends don't ditch me... LOL.

Today, my mom said that my sister and I coulden't do anything, because we have to help her clean. I guess that isen't so bad. We get to do whatever we want to tomorrow.

I love this SoBe Green Tea stuff.

I would like to give a shout out to Rachel Tenpenny, or, my sister.

That was random.

I really want to go see Green Day! Oh my God, I want to see them sooooo bad. If any of you guys want to buy me tickets and take me, I would be your slave forever. Well, not really, but I would love you that much more. Sean Mosey, you have to buy me a ticket if you go.

So, everyone keeps on telling me how hot my profile picture is. So, I guess I should take it down because it's like internet porn.

Just kidding.

Oh!!!! I have a Story. So, there is this kid named Chris, and he goes to my church and he's in my boy scout troop. Well, he is like 4 feet tall, and he is only like 65 pounds. This kid is freaking small. I mean, I could juggle him.... He's tiny. And, to top it all off, this kid has more hair on him than most adults. He is really hairy... like, his arms are as hairy as my legs, and l am not even kidding. So, this small, hairy kid is in my troop. He is also kind of annoying, and he likes to climb on things, so, I named him the Anal Dwelling Butt Monkey. So, picture this. I am sitting down, talking with a couple of my friends, and this 4 foot tall, 65 pound, hairy, annoying child, who is named the Anal Dwelling Butt Monkey, comes over to me. At first I don't notice him, but then, I feel something warm on my leg because I have on shorts. So, I look down and see this kid. He had his pants down, and his ass cheeks on my leg. Before I am able to get him off, he rips the loudest, most wet sounding fart I have ever heard.

Yeah. My leg smelled like wet fart for an hour.

It was pretty nasty.

So, anyway, I'll let you kids go.

Later,
Brett

i want.

June 24 2005
i want to go somewhere...NOW!!! and i really wish people in my family would randomly scream really really loud for no reason!!! someone save me please.

an old friend

June 24 2005
wow! last night Brink called...he graduated 2 yrs ago and he called my dad last night..because my dad's Major..for JROTC.. yea..well my dad ended up giving me the phone..and boy did i talk forever... well brink did too. he was in the Marines..but they found that he had a spinal cord disease..so he obviously had to quit.. but he told me all these cool stories about boot camp and everything...

that totally made my day...just talking to an old friend :)

Wait a minute

June 24 2005
Last night was fun got to hang with my girls and eat like we always do!! Peanut Butter Oreo ice cream is amazing and now I think is my comfort food which is bad bc it'll make me fat oh well lol! I also had a like kindof big/huge breakdown after I left Rach's which was bad bc of where I broke down and cried at but oh well he sat there and talked to me which was very sweet of him...but after my lil 25min cry I was better Its just been a weird couple of days for me everything seems like it is now all of a sudden just slipping slowly but surely away and I want to just collect it all and hold on tightly but I cant...

Im trying to keep it together...but Im falling apart..


The B I B L E, yes that's the book for me

June 24 2005
You know, I like the Scriptures a lot. I consider them not only to be God’s Word, but also great literature, full of stories of broken and sinful people not unlike myself. I think Christians today if they’re not careful can begin to view reading the Bible like taking vitamins— not fun, but necessary.

But the Bible is not some collection of pithy little proverbs mouthed by pious little church mice—it is an epic story, full of all the greed and sex and betrayal and war to befit mankind. It’s a love story, between God and Man, beginning with a romance, and then Man’s affair with sin and God’s pursuit of her, and ending with their wedding. It proves God can take a bunch of sinful weirdoes, from countless generations, and draw them together in a common bond of His love.

People say they go to the Bible to find answers, but the Bible does not cater to our simple-minded questions—it reveals to us God’s absolute, unsearchable Truth. I go to the Bible not to find nuggets of theology but to encounter God in the way that He has expressed Himself to us—and it’s a scary thing, but exhilarating. These are the Holy Scriptures, God's own Word. Paul says the Scriptures are God’s breath, and I kind of go, wow, let’s breathe this as deeply as possible.

The Weird Things I Do

June 24 2005
This Week Has Been...Diferent

1.) I tried to see how long i could last without cany,cookies,cake, or any kind of sweets...i lasted 2 weeks lol i broke it off yesterday when i had a melt down and had a piece of cake and a jollyrancher...cany is what makes my energy!

2.) I painted my room...didnt turn out like it was sapose to. It GLOWS! you turn off the light..no point the walls make light hahaha the paint reflects into the hall and makes my door bright pink...DONT GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT!

3.) So coach decided to make us do these lil foot machanics at soccer practice...i have no clue what im doing so i trip on my feet and make a fool of myself like i do every other day! YIPPIE!

4.) I sat in an ant hill...pretty explainitory (sp?) yea i was like omg im all ichy! and i looked down and what do you know ants are all over me! Made people laugh tho...

5.) Found out that you shouldnt put a brand new lawn chair to a fire pit while your throwing branches into the fire...chairs are highly flameable!

6.) Jr got me addicted to this phusebox thingy...im talkin to ppl i dont even know..pretty cool cuz i do that in public anyways...if you see a girl just come up to you and ask you random questions...it probably me!

7.) Discovered what all Windex could do....

8.) I dunno...leave me some comments lol

Summerr

June 24 2005
No more school until September.
Today Gisela left for florida and she's gonna be there for 10 day. I'll miss her. But my dad is comig tomorrow so i'm very very very happy!!

Soooo

This is boring.

Goodbye

Without These Trials

June 24 2005
Without these trials, I would claim to know the depth and warmth of Your embrace, but would be unable to extend it to others.

Without these trials, I wouldn't know the extent of your goodness or appreciate the countless sunny days and smooth seas You've given me in the past.

Without these trials,I wouldn't be able to comfort others, empathize with them, or understand the depths of their despair.

Without these trials, I wouldn't be dependant, humble, and quiet, nor would Your character be developing in me.

Without these trials, I would begin to wonder if I was truly Your beloved and would settle for lesser lovers.

Without these trials, I wouldn't grow stronger, have a stiffer backbone, or be able to face hardship at all.

Without these trials, I wouldn't have anything to present to You except a few sticks, some stubble, and a handful of hay.

Without these trials, hope would seem shallow, faith would seem weak, and love would seem impossible.

Without these trials, my faith, which is more precious than gold, would never grow into all You've created it to be.

So in the midst, I thank you for these trials.

**
Father I ask for grace to endure the trials you've allowed in my life. I ask for the strength to overcome them and bring Glory to your name!
**
James 1:12

Passively Amazing Adventures

June 24 2005
Dear Literate(sp?) reader,
Yesterday was cool. I was doing a whole bunch of cool stuff all day long. Then i weant to the mall and saw the Faz Kid's Night crew. Well a few members, GRace your soooooooooooooooooooo mean. But get this, I was re-introduced to a great guitar player. So that was cool. Then the girl that i used to like a lot. Comes up with her friends and informs me that....get this shit....get this... tells me she broke up with her boyfriend(duesche{sp?}...and then i proceed to inquire as to what she has been doing all summer..and she tells me that she got a bass. I was like wow...Then, she says "I've been looking for someone to teach me how to play, but i can't find anyone." i just started laughing....how sweet an event indeed.. what a glorioius coincident..so i told her i played..she said she knew, i smiled..then we exchanged numbers and whatnot...then i told her i would try really hard to remember to call her later that night. Luckily..with some help from friends i remembered to call her. Well im rambling and have been rambling for about 20 lines...so ill see you all later

your buddy,
Jeremy Hirt

Time

June 24 2005
1 year, 1 month, 1 week, 1 day.

Time to go to Knoxville

June 24 2005
It is almost time to go back to Knoxville. Charles is getting very tired of the drive. I love going home and seeing my dad and sister and the kitties, then hanging out with our friends. We don't have too many friends here in Murf, we pretty much stay home all the time. The other day we did go to lunch with Stayc at Toot's. That Toot's burger was AWESOME by the way. Bethany it is too bad you couldn't come. I have a wedding invitation to give to you if I can see you sometime.
Well I guess I'd better start getting ready and then I'll wake Charles up. Hopefully today will be a good day, and hopefully Kenobi won't meow all throughout the 3 hour drive.
Oh, one more thing, Dr.B introduced me to an undergrad girl named Michele that has similar research interests as I do. She is going to take me on a tour of Mercy Ministries in Antioch, and if I like it, I am going to try to volunteer there after the wedding. It is a Christian Counseling home for girls with various problems. I am excited, so I hope it works out!

OMG!!!!

June 24 2005
Hey every1 i just got braces yesterday and they hurt real bad!!!!well thats all i got!!!talk to yall later!!!bye
God Bless
allie

UPS SCREWED UP MY PACKAGE!!!!

June 24 2005
i am really ticked off!!!! ups screweed up my delivery. i ordered a usb adapter to my ipod and it came to the distributer and then today they are shipping it back to barlett, tn (where it came from) they appoligzed and all but come on think if that was something that could help a person live or something and ups screws around and they die. so i will defintly use fedex their package came from China and got here quicker. i defintly give Fed Ex a thumbs up for their quickness. UPS needs to learn how to handle things. i feel better after saying this. i hope this might be of help to you down the road. stephen

I think I have a slight problem

June 24 2005
I've been staying up really late every night. Last night, I went to bed at 3 am, and woke up at 7.

And I haven't gone back to sleep since. Right now, i'm looking out my window and it's not dark anymore. It's 5:05 am.

It's not that I don't WANT to sleep.

It's that I physically CAN'T fall asleep.

Should I consider that a problem? :-p

Untitled

June 24 2005
Every day should be a good day to die.

weird......

June 23 2005
there was just a frog in chas's room. it's true. i went upstairs to get ready for bed and i walked into chas's room and there was a frog sitting right there in front of the bathroom door. i wasn't really sure what to do. he took me off guard. i stared at him for a couple of minutes cause i wasn't sure that what i was seeing was real. then i came back downstairs, called chas, and went back up. by the time i got back he was gone. then i thought i had gone crazy and imagined this frog. so i looked around while i was talking to chas, and then i found him. he was in the bathroom. he was all cute and small and stuff. anyway, i put him outside. my question is how in the world he got not only inside, but all the way up in chas's room. it's a mystery.

Wow....

June 23 2005
Tonight was one of the greatest night that I have had in a while. It started out in Hickory Hollow Mall, then we went to eat at the best restaraunt ever.... Moe's Grill.(one of my personal favorites).

After all of that Chris, Amy, Justin, Josh, J-Mo, Rachel, Kayla, and me all went to Bon Hoffer's, which is the coolest place ever next ot campus because it is in a loft and its a coffee shop with live music. We went to watch one of Justin's friends and Sean McConnell play. Both we totally awesome.

Then a group of us went to the park and two of the guys played guitar for a couple hours. Summer nights are just awesome. It is so beautiful outside. I would like to do stuff like this more often.

Other than that today was much like any other day, just with a little more struggle because of the decision that I made last night. I think that I made it hard on my self, without knowing it. But that is another story, for another time.

Later


Unreached Peoples Fact
There are seven Least-Reached people groups each over 50,000,000 in population, the largest being the Japanese (122,064,200).


Missions Scripture
"Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples."
Psa 96:3

evil gnomes and dog kibbles

June 23 2005
lalalalalalalalala

tonight was fun. after doing the whole birthday thing with my family, i went to see sean mcconnel play. he has an amazing voice. fun times using bottles for facial hair, such as beards, uni-brows, and moustaches



photo from rachael

after all that fun stuff, amy and i went to walmart. crazy lines at the place... so then after amy bought her beloved chapstick we headed to the park. i was extremely disappointed however. i did not get to play! i like to play at the park... oh well... so we went on a walk. elizabeth and i were great leaders i believe. so then it was to steak and shake for us cool kids. sarah joined us in our perilous journey. so yeah... that about sums it all up.

tomorrow night the roosevelts are playing at new vision baptist church. it is at 6:30 and costs 5 dollars ( i think!!!). everyone should go, yes everyone in the world! whaahaha! anyway... oh yes! and this weekend my parents are going out of town, and no this is no invitation to come over and bascially destroy my house, this is merely me being pathetic and telling all you wonderful people that if you wish to hang out i am going to be alone and would love to hang out with great people like you!!! *smiles and batts eyes*

now that somebody's delerium rubbed off on me, i am going to bed... so adios mi amigos! i hope you have a wonderful night/day!

today...or yesterday

June 23 2005
today...or yesterday, rather...was so much fun! nathan's party was fun! and now chelsey's spendin the night! yay!

happiness_is_not_JUST_a_warm_gun...

June 23 2005
pretty sure happiness is dancing around in your kitchen while lipsinking to New York, New York by Frank Sinatra with a popcorn bowl on your head as a "hat" and a broom as a "cane" while your mom stands in the doorway cracking up...

yes... abby had a giddy day.

i miss being a little kid and playing with my dolls............. i let my little neighbors play with them an i remembered how much i loved them... bunches of memories.

did you know that most girls who were "tom boys" as kids grow to be good at Math and Science.. while "girly girls" grow to be better in English and History? it has something to do with the way the hormones develop. ooohhh the WONDERS of having both a mother AND sister in college.. you get to know so much trivia that you can impress people at parties with ^_^..........

Untitled

June 23 2005
hey okay i feel kinda stupid for updating like twice in one day but i wanted to tell yall something that i thought of in the doctors office this afternoon (ya i had to go to the doctor) i was talking to my dad and the song by tim mcgraw - livelike you were dying popped into my head and i was like....i want to go sKyDiViNg!! but then i was like....if i did i would probably forget how to open the parachute....while i was falling....lol and then i was like !!!! I KNOW ill go with a friend like at the same time....and then ASHLEY popped into my head....but then i thought....o great if i couldnt figure somthing out....ashley wouldnt be one to kno either! well shes a blonde lets put it at that....its not that i have something against blondes but shes like a REAL blonde! so now i have no one to go skydiving with :( not that my parents would let me anyways but still i want to ! ok this is really long....and as i read back over this i noticed that i thought a lot today....lol i luv u guys!
*lauren*

I smell glue...and I want to throw up.

June 23 2005
I keep saying the wrong things and it makes me feel like a bad person. I'm just dumb like that. Arrg....I'm in a bad mood.

Picnic/Mall/Cards/Sonic was nice.

Whoever is calling me from "private number" you seriously need to stop. That isn't cool at all. It's okay for normal prank phone calls but not like that. OMG! They just called( no joke). I'm going to kill them. No fun.......

time for emo music...lol.

m...is for minnesota

June 23 2005
well its the moment that you all have been waiting for... ok so im the only one who cares but ya we leave for minnesota tomorrow well its technically saturday but were leavin at 2:45 in the morning so ya its friday...im so excited have fun here without me as there is a house wide rule against tv and computer while in the "backwoods" (we decided that when were in the middle of nowhere trying to get away and relax that there should b no real contact with the real world) so ya for the next week my life will be a wonderful colaberation of photography 6 am skiing 11pm fishing and like 20 runs to godfrees a day... it so great when your buggest decision is bobber fishing or spinner fishing

here a list of simple minnesota decisions

-spinner fishing or bobber fishing
-skiing or tubing
-front of the boat or back of the boat
-to keep or not to keep your beautiful smallmouth
-tivas or flip flops
-diet coke or well water (hard choice)
-scrath the bug bites or try to ignore them
-read or listen to music
-kayak or canoe
-hang out at the dock or oh the deck
-which baggy short to wear to the lake
- to ride to godfrees or to not ride to godfrees
- salty dog or the resturant on the lake

Untitled

June 23 2005
dramapixie20: yeah, jus seemed very isolated today i had to talk to someone
SonicShockwave7: I hate those feelings of isolation. Sometimes I'm afraid to reach out and talk to someone for fear that they don't want to listen, or that I'll be bothering them, you know?
dramapixie20: i know exactly how you feel, but if they are truely your friend they will want to help whenever with whatever, thas my philosophy if you can call it that
SonicShockwave7: I know this is true, but I'm always afraid of what's in their heart. what I can't see. the stuff they aren't telling me.


Why should I be afraid of that? It's dumb to fear that, and yet...
Know this: I love you guys. Regardless of how you feel towards me. I don't ever want you to feel like you needed comfort or an open ear, or just to hear that someone loves you, and you weren't able to hear it from me.
You guys are all cool. Thanks for being there for me when I need you, and when I'm okay. You help me in ways that you'll probably never see.

Untitled

June 23 2005
HEY!!!!!
*lauren*

The Lord is Great!

June 23 2005
This most amazing thing happened to me in street minstry today...we went out there and we hadn't been on the street for five min. and this lady comes running down the street yelling at us. I was kinda freaked out at first. She came running to us and saying that everyone said that the church people were walking around and told me to get in my house. But I told them that I needed prayer! Well long story short she just got out of jail and was searching so hard to get right. I asked her if she knew if she were to die today, right now would she go to heaven. She said she didn't know. I told her that she can have that peace and assurance that she will go to heaven by praying a simple prayer. Well sure enough in the middle of the street this 35 year old named Jamie accepted christ into her heart.

IT WAS AMAZING!!!

But I was kinda disappointed later on because I went to go visit one of my friends from street ministry last summer and I found out that he died three weeks ago. I don't know if he is heaven but I know that me and my friends from last summer talked to him everyday we saw him about it. That is all I can think about but I really am glad I am back where my heart is.

Other then that everything is going great. My family is coming tomarrow to see me and that is exciting. I hope everyone has a chance to see God is something that they do or see someone else doing everyday. I pray you guys are doing ministry everywhere you go and telling people about the word every chance you get. They need to hear it. Because you might be the only person to tell them about who the Lord is and what He stands for.

I love you guys and I want to hear what you are all up to. Take care

God-reality

June 23 2005
hmm...

so things have been weird. (read my xanga, maybe that will explain a little better) but God is always, always there. which never ceases to amaze me.

sorry about being such a slacker with this. not that many people read it though. heh, heh.

i want to live life in a God-reality.
i want to be this, and everything in my life to revolve around this:


'steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. don't worry about missing out. you'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes'
-matthew 6:33-34-

i'll write a song about it

June 23 2005
i am writing a song about the post below.
last night a neighbor came knocking on our door asking for help. her two children had clogged the toilet in the bathroom and were playing in the overflowing water. she needed for us to watch them while she cleaned it up.
she kept telling us that we should enjoy our time together now because it wasnt always going to be like that. GRRRR!!

Stuck

June 23 2005

yes well, me and donald are stuck up here in monteagle, and will be stuck here till saturday sometime.But we're having a pretty good time, my grandmothers house is on the cumberland mts. and over looks a good part of land.

My aunt has a bowflex, so we are flexin it up, joggin, and hiking, killin snakes, walkin next to waterfalls..... peacefull.

but yea, im up hear because my brother is bi-polar. He has been fine for a while, but has gone down hill. hes running away, cussing my dad out, hes in to some kinds of drugs, drinking, and my dad didnt want me or my sister to be there. Donald was there, so my dad said for him to come.

But a lesson in life i have learned is that you need to stop complaining about life and just deal with it, it wont be crap forever.

GET OVER YOURSELF.

June 23 2005
not everyone you meet will always agree with you.

this does NOT mean:
-they are stupid.
-they are ignorant.
-they are wrong.
-you are right.
-they are going to hell.

God loves every liberal democrat JUST AS MUCH as every conservative republican, every socialist, every communist, every fascist, every baptist, every catholic, every presbyterian, every muslim, every jew, and everyone else.

God loved hitler as much as He loved mother teresa.

God loves osama bin laden as much as He loves billy graham.

that's because God IS love.

not to promote any kind of relativism here. there is right and there is wrong. there is a right Way and a whole lot of wrong ways. i don't think hitler and mother teresa ended up in the same place.

but that doesn't change the love while they were here. it doesn't change the love while you are here.

so my point is this: any time you meet someone with whom you do not see eye to eye on a given issue, it is not an excuse to shake your finger in their face and scream at them that they are wrong or that they are going to hell. be open-minded enough to try to see their point. you can try to understand where they are coming from . . . i promise you, it is allowed.

name-calling has never brought anyone into the Kingdom of God.

God is Judge. you are not.

God condemns. you should not.

you are here as an example. it is your job to serve. to forgive. to love.

be nice.

i love you.

*shrieks*

June 23 2005
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

i ran spotlight for michael tait ((dc talk)) and his band tonight!!! didn't even realize who is was until he started singing "in the light". Woooohoooo. . . and then he sang JESUS FREAK!!!! AHHHHHHH!

Havin' Fun!!!!

June 23 2005
Hey guys!!!! this morning was....hmmm..... well good!!! i got to talk to mike, who lives in austrailia, and we had a very intellectual conversation about what we were going to do with our lives. then haley came over and we watched the inferno. then we went to go pick up tara and went to PetsLand today!!!! We saw "cookie"....she was felling a little sick. i thought the silky terrier was the cutest but second to the pomeranian. the pomeranian was SOOOOO tiny and it had beady black eyes and it was SSOOO cute!!!! then popped by the mall and ran into stephy, courtney, grace, jane, and others......i don't remember who.....but popped into victoria's secret to look @ the "semi-annual" sale. fun, fun!!!! I'm having a better summer!!! i gotta go!

Baker's Dozen

June 23 2005
So, I'm hanging out with Laura-Anne tonight and we were watching Home Improvement and the term came up of Baker's Dozen (hence the title) so we started in on designs for a carton of eggs that would hold 13 eggs, now the paper with the drawings has been disposed of, but some suggestions were a circular pattern, but that would be terrible for storage and shipping. Then the idea of a triangle was brought up, but the best configuration has only 10, similar to the bowling pin lay-out. I suggested using a spacer and having room for just one egg...2 columns of 4 then the spacer with one egg and then another column of 4, but i was informed that the use of a spacer was cheating. but her idea of cutting out spots, like a column of 3, then 2, then 3, then 2 and another 3 wasn't cheating and if you alternate the pattern the cartons could be interlocked. So if you have an ideas of how to design a carton with 13 eggs, please let me know

Boredus Maximus

June 23 2005
I feel like I should update, but I really have no idea what to type.

You know what I said about the last three weeks become "extremely, hm, interesting?" ......Scratch that. Stupid caterers. Stupid orcs. Still not king.

I think the coffee is wearing off from this morning, as I am in a very-close-to-black mood....

The creepy guy at the computer across the table from me keeps sitting up straight intermittently in order to see over the monitor. Damn him. I shall shatter his glasses with my heel and then strangle him with the mouse cord. Hahaaaa! And he shall never terrorise another computer lab again. What's great is that I can type an entire paragraph about his demise while he sits three feet away and smiles. And he'll be completely oblivious until I enact my "cunning plan." Which is quite literally and rather amusingly bringing an evil smirk to my face that he is misinterpreting as benevolence. My victim is unsuspecting, having been lulled into a false sense of security. I may strike at any time, and take this creature utterly by surprise.

......As I remember there's a security camera behind me reading every word.

CURSES.

We're going to Oxford, Mississippi, tomorrow in order to tour William Faulkner's home. Bonus: stopover in Memphis for dinner. Civilisation. There is a god!! Maybe we can go to Starbucks.... A town without Starbucks does not deserve to be on the map. Did you know there are nearly five times as many tanning salons as there are Starbucks in the nation?? [I guess they counted the ones that were attached to a deisel pump.] This is frightening.

Writing here about random pointless things has actually put me in a good mood. I'm not even sure why. But hey, who am I to question it??

My Retarted CD Burner

June 23 2005
The way my computer's CD burner has always worked if I want to copy a CD:

I put the one I want to make a copy of in my DVD player. I put the blank one in my CDR-Drive/Buner.

But today? It says, "Please insert the disc you want to copy into the E: drive [CDR Drive]. Sonic RecordNow! will make a temporary copy of this disc and then burn it onto a blank one."

And I can't figure out how to change it back to the way it used to be. So I did what it said and right now it's in the "burning the temporary copy to the blank disc" phase. And it's taking FOREVER.

Making DATA CDs takes like 15 minutes. But MUSIC CD's have always taken 6 or 7 minutes TOPS. The blank CD has been in there for 10 minutes already, and my computer is saying it will take at least 7 more.

What's wrong with Sebastian???

Every dog must have his every day, every drunk must have his drink...

June 23 2005
There are two ways to look at life.

Actually, that's not accurate; I suppose there are thousands of ways to look at life. But I tend to dwell on two of them. The first vew is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force in anyone's life is entropy. The second is that everything pretty much stays the same (more or less) and that everything is completely connected, even if we don't realize it.

There are many mornings when I feel certain that the first perspective is irrefutably true: I wake up, I feel the inescapable oppression of the sunlight pouring through my bedroom window, and I am struck by the fact that I am alone. And that everyone is alone. And that everything I understood seven hours ago has already changed, and that I have to learn everything again.

I guess I am not a morning person.

However, that feeling always passes. In fact, it's usually completely gone before lunch. Every new minute of every new day seems to vaguely improve. And I suspect that's because the alternative view- that everything is ultimately like something else and that nothing and no one is autonomous- is probably the greater truth. The math does check out; the numbers do add up. The connections might not be hard-wired into the superstructure to the universe, but it feels like they are whenever I put money into a jukebox and everybody in the bar suddenly seems to be having the same conversation. And in that last moment before I fall asleep each night, I understand Everything. The world is one interlocked machine, throbbing and pulsing as a flawless organism.

This is why I will always hate falling asleep

??

June 23 2005
You guys are boring... no one ever leaves me comments.... I guess that's life when you're an outcast... :(
jk.... kinda

[the Cynic]

June 23 2005
i'll embrace dreams again when i can breath again
and at that point i won't be needing them
it became clear to me that i was fighting a war i couldn't win
you don't make it on your own merit, only royalty inherit the kingdom
and that's a system good intentions can't help
your courage is not good here so don't try to excel
what a sad day when you realize nothing can change
the revolution didn't leave you, it never came
there will be no parades, no royal balls
just long days topped off with last calls for alcohol
go to sleep, wake up and repeat the same routine-
smooth skin dressed with wrinkles and brown eyes with dark rings
and entertainers that sing of extremes that don't exist for you and me
when real life is reality tv, no reason our youth don't believe in anything
it's all a joke, there are no heroes, just those of us with high hopes

it’s just not that simple-
i’m not trying to save it all, i just want to create a ripple
and even if one individual is affected
it’s monumental with an unusual perspective
that’s beautiful in essence-
traditional thinking won’t suggest this
is life really that precious? well yes it is
but there will be no celebrations or congratulations
no pat on the back, just your mind intact
and the freedom to feel your heart beat at the speed of life
go to sleep tonight knowing you did it right
and rest easy outside of a system that resents you
for not doing what they expect you to do
psychologically wear you down and then they make the suggestion
that you get on a prescription to deal with your depression
anxious, lazy, temperamental, obese-
that’s what money makers like to call a disease
and they’ll be looking for or creating new problems
with profitable solutions to solve them
but you won’t get any better- you’ll just come back for more
until your medicine drawer is filled with unreliable cures
that’s the way of the beast and i can’t do nothing about it
i could shout it in a room that’s crowded
but i doubt it’d make a difference
so ignorance will be my disguise
’cause 21st century america likes it’s witchcraft civilized

HOME!!!!!

June 23 2005
I come home in EIGHT DAYS!!!!!