Well, I have a job at Vanderbilt for after graduation in May. I will become a Nashvillian at the end of May!

ha ha...i think i meant passion 06 (hard to attend something that is already over)

it seems i have been gone for about 48 years or so...here i am again on phusebox. life has been very busy, but good. the tasn convention went really well, and i am no longer on that board! i have 1 more clinical rotation this semester then i'm finished until after christmas break (yipee).

looking forward to passion '05 in nashvegas over christmas break. a group from the gathering is going, and i'm so excited!!!! speaking of church...my internship is going well.

http://www.thegatheringuc.com/

i guess that's about all. learning not to depend on people or things but GOD only! that lesson isn't always fun or easy but what lesson worth learning is!

i have a test tomorrow so i will go study now!

so these are the topics coming up at the gathering the rest of the month...pretty cool!!


Alias: Finding Your True Identity

September 11: Forgiven

This is the place we start. We cannot realize our full identity in Christ until we join the forgiven.

September 18: Slave

We talk so much about the fact that there is freedom in Christ. This is what we want to hear. Just as present in Scripture is the idea of being a slave to Christ. What does this mean in a culture that cries out for freedom?

September 25: Holy/Saint

That word, holy, scares up images of plain clothes, no make up, and no fun. But, as a child of God we are called to Be Holy, as He is holy. Is this even possible?

October 2: Called

We are Called to a life beyond the mediocre. Just how far does he expect us to go?

after fun at ihop with my friends, which was after "the gathering" the twentysomethings group i attend. anyway, God is awesome and wonderful and....
I'm so excited about how he has all these plans for me, and how i can just be in love with him. think i had been treating God like a consultant. but he is GOD. so let's get that straight!
isaiah 6

sitting (well standing here at work) here and thinking about school starting. what a mystery (how will i get through this semester). i think i should probably have a more positive attitude! this will be positive...like, it feels like a miracle that everything will work out great but i know that God do what he promises in Matthew 6:33!
So anyway,
whenever Christmas break starts, I get to start training as a barista here at Poet's. That will be the pinnacle of coolness! I am so excited :)

i'm back! i feel like it has been years since i've posted (well it has been over a month...wait what is today...i don't know...anyway). so camp is over and i'm back in my fun apartment next to campus. my roommate doesn't get back until school starts so i have the place to myself (sniff sniff...i'm lonely!). monday i fly to new york (upstate) to visit my grandparents, so i will be sure and wave at nathan as i fly over him.
something cool...i was offered an internship at my church (the river community church) under the family ministries pastor, and of course i accepted! i'm a little nervous about it because i have no idea what i'm doing. all of my jobs are listed for me, but i just feel clueless. oh well, i guess with any new job that is natural. i am still working at poet's about 10-15 hours a week, planning a convention, and going to school full time (ahhhhhhh what am i doing???) everything will taper off as the year winds down, and even more as i approach graduation in may. i have really been feeling that God wants me (at least for now) to just wait on him about plans after graduation. i have no doubt in my mind that he has called me to full time ministry eventually (with nursing?), but i don't know anything else! for the FIRST time in my life, i don't have a plan. i'm waiting on God.
i still feel as though i am hanging on to a brick wall with my fingernails...one wrong move and i fall and tear my nails too. hmm strange comparison...
well, i guess i'll go to bed now. busy day tomorrow.

i have a lot of questions right now. one of these days, maybe i will know the answers...

tonight i went to the gathering and my friend jeremy spoke about pleasure.
it all tied into loving God. like if we are truly in love with God than our desires will be the same as his and we won't be bound by the rules we set for ourselves to determine our own holiness. i was so encouraged because i have always struggled with being really hard on myself for stupid things in an effort to make myself better for God. really, if i am in love with him, my countenance and desires change. they are all directed toward him, so rules are no longer necessary because i want to serve God with everything i am....

camp was a little crazy this week. i felt like junior mom more than ever.

read isaiah 6
today my pastor talked about divine appointments, and how nothing is by chance. i then proceeded to ask God to put divine appointments in my life.
since then, i've had spiritual conversations by "accident" with both of my neighbors, and gone to lunch with a new friend who really encouraged me in Christ.
so God does answer prayer!

i had fun just now at ihop with my friends jim, john, jeremiah, josh, and wes (odd ball without a j on his name). we all went after our college group from church called the gathering. i really love the gathering because i am always reminded of God's goodness, mercy, love, and grace everytime i go. plus all the people are pretty cool! at ihop i started laughing and inhaled my coffee (which turned out to be pretty gross coming out of my nose)

tomorrow i'll wake up bright and early for camp. we have the older discipleship girls at my camp, and i'm really excited (but a little nervous).

i have been wondering what God will have me do after graduation.

here i am, still awake at 0317a.m.
listening to a mars hill church mp3
i haven't spent any time with God today. During the week I am desperate to spend time with God, but on the weekend I am quite busy with laundry or spending my life savings at wal mart. Why am I like that? This mp3 is incredibly convicting...it is titled "sin" quoting philippians chapter 2...
3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father


i am such a proud person. so sinful. what a great GOD i have! how awesome. i am floored by what Jesus did for me. i haven't done anything to deserve it, nor have i always acted grateful.
something that the pastor on this mp3 brought out is that first we need to be saved...to be saved we have realize that Jesus is GOD..broken befor God and realizing our utter sinfulness so that we need to be saved we desire it, we want to be saved....

photo from nerdygirl

this is my dream party...

sitting here with my friend genista watching old macgyver episodes(he's amazing as ever). right now he's caught over an acid bath with only his pants and an old pipe to hold him up. anyway, i just received an email from my friend rob who is in india on a mission trip right now. he will be traveling around with a native pastor. please do pray for him. these are his requests for the week: for the team's travels this week as they leave bangalalore this sunday to travel, doing ministries in the villages. also pray that God keeps the team well to travel, doing ministries in the villages. also that God keeps the team well as most of them have had bad headaches and other pains. thanks guys!
by the way, macgyver made it out through a well placed hole in the roof. the mullet power probably helped.

on another note: hebrews 12:1-2

though i am not a fast food fan by any means, i would first like to say that wendy's is the best fast food place on this side of the nile river! lucky for us (as i'm reading off the paper chili bowl), their chili has always been low fat and high fiber.
today i went to a tennessee association of student nurses meeting in murfreesboro, then visited my family for lunch. speaking of regular, we had bran muffins and fruit for dessert!
i was asked to work at poet's tonight, so i went in and worked with stacey and lucas. that was fun, though i am still pretty tired from camp.
speaking of camp...the last day, i randomly started singing songs from mary poppins. some of the other staff girls joined in, and we had a lovely time serenading the pool with "just a spoon full of sugar" and "supercalafradulousetexpialadocious" (hooked on phonics worked for me).
wow, i am really tired. i need to go to bed so i can wake up in the morning and go to church at the coolest church in the world...the river community church!!!
cya

so far all of my entries have been entitled with noises (as opposed to words..). clearly i have a bit of a communication problem....
anyway here i am after the first week at lighthouse, very tired and a little loopy. it is really strange to return to be on staff after 3 years since everything is so different. i'm different! i am now an old fart of 21 (on june 20), wheras before i was only 18. strange but good. this week was challenging since (okay, every week is..) i am acting as camp "nurse" to one of the camps. i am also a counselor, so both jobs are a little crazy. well, it still isn't as crazy as the summer bethany and i helped lead one camp...
so sunday i figured out that when i would pray (would is the key word), it was more out of obligation than anything. of course i thought God would probably do something, but i wasn't really to enthusiastic about asking him (aka praying wihout ceasing). but...good news. prayer really is speaking directly with God! God really does move! i guess this week really brought that alive for me because of some things that happened. i am so glad that i can talk to God! he listens!!!!!
while i am unloading my thoughts, let me address self. myself. i order to say "not i but christ" i must first be presented with situations in which the phrase in question must be either rejected, or embraced. i would like to say that i am a model christian and could be compared to psalty (big blue bible guy), or someone of high rank in christiandom. clearly, this is not the case! i am constantly struggling with this "not i but christ" thing. more often than not i choose i.
this week i noticed that i get very upset when things aren't very organized. i hate it when people assume i know something, and act like i should when i don't. it is at these times that my flesh rears up with teeth barred. upon reflection, i am struck with the lack of insight on my part. Jesus always looked inside people. he knew about their struggles and weakness. he chose to die for the very people i get annoyed with. what right have i to be annoyed with anyone? even if someone is moving purposefully against me, even if they wish to take my life, should my very life not be given for the sake of christ? how much more my inner thoughts and motivations, my desires and dislikes.
a final thought (finally!!)
7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord , for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a rightousness of my own that comes from the law,, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. Philippians 3:7-9

eating broccoli after church (yum) and thinking about stuff. like, how big is GOD (so big, and so awesome!!)....today may I realize his awesomeness in new ways.

and here i am...wasting time (seems to be the story of my life)
i feel kind of sick of myself...anyone ever feel like that? i wonder how God could continue in his love for me. the thing is, he never stops and there is nothing i can do to make him. i was spending time with him today, reading "my utmost for his highest" which i've recently begun...well anyway, check it out:
"We have the idea that God is going to do some exceptional thing--that He is preparing and equipping us for some extraordinary work in the future. But as we grow in His grace we find that God is glorifying Himself here and now, at this very moment. If we have God's assurance behind us, the most amazing strength becomes ours and we learn to sing, glorifying Him even in the ordinary days and ways of life."
i find that quite amazing...my life is wrapped up in his purpose...glorifying himself. i keep looking forward to next week, or tomorrow, or whenever, but God is right here with me now! i don't know, a lot of thoughts...