stephen makes me laugh. man. do you ever have those days/weeks/months where your friends just get on your last nerve? i really feel that God is changing my heart towards some of my friends, and breaking some friendships. i dunno. but it's all for the best. life's goin pretty good. we might be moving, which is random. i feel like this is really gonna be a year of big changes for me. i'm really doing a lot better in my walk, and i'm really excited about some of the things i'm seeing happen. i'm really starting to learn the power of prayer. and for the first time in a while, i can say that i feel like i'm growing. anyways, the week so far has been really good. i was totally relishing the cool crispness of today. i love fall. but something about fall seems to cultivate melancholy in me. i'm not sure what it is. but i just find myself so often in a pensive mood and thinking about what life would be like with Bruce here. But then i realize that i probably wouldn't have come nearly this far. And that would be through no fault of his. But i would have continued to lean on him rather than God. and while i really do miss having a true best friend (and bear with me cause i know this might sound corny), i'm really starting to discover that Jesus really can be that kind of a friend. and i'm so glad to have Bruce as an example, so that i can weed out the friends that aren't good for me. anyways. life's treatin me pretty well. but may i just say, that i am so tired of fake people. as my mom said today, that's one of the horribly wrong things about my generation. we all seem to put our trust and energies into things that are fake. i was waiting in line for lunch, and i just stood there, solitary in the teeming mass, and watched. so many fake people. and i don't mean that in the "you're shallow/fake because you wear abercrombie" kinda way. i mean people that go through their entire lives wearing this mask (sorry for the emo reference) because they are so afraid that if people see them as they really are, that no one would love them. and that is such a lie. you'll probably take this the wrong way, but i'm so glad that i have managed all my life to just be "Cari", complete with flaws and good qualities. sure, not everyone loves me to death, but at least i know that the people i love love me for me. i'm so tired of these people who put up a front and try so hard, and then accuse me of trying too hard. i am my own individual, and yet people still care to be my friend, even though i'm fat, or i don't wear nice clothes all the time, or don't have a lot of money, or don't cater to their whims, or step on eggshells around them. i can just be me, and that is the most rewarding feeling in the world. and it breaks my heart to see people believing the lies that Satan feeds them. i just wish that people could understand how much they are loved, regardless of their flaws. anyways. i'm really not angry. i'm just broken for the people i know. i love ya'll regardless, and just know that. you don't realize how amazing people are and how much you want to tell them that until it's too late. never take it for granted.---Cari