yeah, i know i'm black. that's how i roll.

so....on a less retarded note, SCHOOL'S OUT FO SUMMA! (almost)...i think i'mma have to take my algebra dos final...which means i'm gonna have to kill myself. ha. nah. i'll be fine. but i'm gonna miss mrs. simmons next year...movin on to Mrs. "You- gotta-change-your-running-shoes-every-4-months" Carr....she's a hoot. nayways, it's really funny how much you can grow to just love someone to death, (in a non-romantic way) in a rather short amount of time. like, i really love being around this kid. but he worries me a lot. and makes me really sad a lot of the time, but not cause he's mean, but because he seems so sad....gahlee. cheer up emo kid...knit yourself a sweater and buck up. oh well. went back to the ol' alma mater (ha), McFadden...had to get a little choked up when i saw the loft in ms. conatser's room. i miss those days. wow. things really change quickly.

ok...so. rant of the day (i'm trying to refrain from these lately, but i just can't resist, and it's been on my mind like a mug lately):

PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE ANY ORIGINAL THOUGHTS OR OPINIONS ABOUT ANYTHING! drives me c-razy...geez...it really stirs my apples ( props to holly) when people grow up  and somehow decide that they are so much more enlightened because of what their professors or friends or whoever spoon feed them. GAHLEE! (i deal with this kind of crap @ school everyday) and then, because they're so "open-minded" and "tolerant" they decide that they should force their opinions on everyone else...granted, some tension in political matters is a good thing, because absolute unquestioned power on either side is not a good thing, but i think it's rather stupid to decide that everyone else who doesn't agree with you is wrong...especially when one is sooooooo open-minded...enlightenment is not forsaking everything you were raised on just because you were raised on it...and just because you grew up believing something doesn't mean it's wrong either....and ppl seem to think for some reason that it is. on the other hand, another thing that bothers me is fundamentalists that try to "convert" me...I AM A CHRISTIAN! a Bible believing, Jesus-worshiping, conservative Christian. i am not a harlot because i wear a little bit of mascara every once in a while, or because i cut my hair and don't always wear skirts. and Belle Aire Baptist is far from a "liberal" church. i am so done with all of this legalistic crap that i am fed on a daily basis. GOD DOES NOT CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE ON THE OUTSIDE! granted, you should be modest, and you should act like a Christian and remember that you are a representative of Jesus Christ, but He does not care whether or not i wear a skirt. i am not going to Hell for wearing eyeliner. Man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart. so many different Christians seem to miss the whole point, because they are so wrapped up in these man made laws regulations. i am for the 10 Commandments and such,  but you CANNOT take one scripture/ passage out of context and call it a rule. also, the whole speaking in tongues thing. (?) people trying to convince me that i'm not saved because i don't speak in tongues. what about this verse : "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing...But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away..." --- 1 Corinthians 13:1-2, 8

i don't think that it's wrong, but i hardly think that it is the definitive mark of the Christian..."There are different kinds of gifts, but the same spirit. there are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men." ---I Cor. 12:4-6

also, these "Christians" who say to me things like, "AIDS is God's punishment for gay people, " or, "God hates fags..." or "that's what they get for being sinners" or anything along those lines...that is hardly a Christ-like attitude. now don't get me wrong, i DO NOT believe that homosexuality is acceptable, right, anything....or that certain other things are acceptable...but i believe that i deserve to get AIDS just as much as any gay person...and you certainly can't tell me that children and ppl who get it without from things other than sex/drugs deserve it for any reason...if we really want to talk about what we deserve, we (including myself) all deserve hell. it's only by God's grace that we are or can be forgiven and spared from that.and in case some of us have forgotten, Jesus didn't hang out with the Pharisees. He hung out with the tax collectors and the prostitutes, not because he was "low-class" or going for good PR...He came to heal the sick. anyways, just some thoughts. and i am by no means trying to come across all "holier-than-thou" or pretend that i am some amazing Christ-like example for everyone else. these are just some thoughts that have been nagging me lately. so. yeah. i still love you all, and i hope that you love me despite my many, many shortcomings. much love to all of you!---Cari