so, as i'm sure you can tell, i'm in kind of a random sorta mood. currently watching the office...it's aight i guess...but i'm gonna watch ER while i exercise. (yes, i do exercise...but mostly just recently). tonight's play practice was awful...i think maybe just being in front of Neil make me nervous, and i don't know why. but i really can't dance. i'm too stiff, not graceful, and kinda retarded. and it doesn't help that i'm already kinda nervous. it makes me pretty insecure actually. plus, i didn't know one of my songs. but i do my lines, dang it. anyways. w/e. last night at church was pretty awesome. Chris talked quite frankly and unbiased-ly about homosexuality. i was really amazed at how well done it was. also, prayer time was pretty awesome. man, i can't wait for formal...i think maybe jared is more excited than i am. i just hope my dad doesn't get all "you don't need all that" which translates to "you don't need to spend so much money..."....w/e. i'm kinda sick as a mug, but not contagious-sick, so i can't miss school. not that i'd wanna. missing a day of algebra is like missing 2 years. nayways. i think maybe i kinda like someone. but i've told ya'll this. but, as i said, i really shouldn't like this person quite so much. and i really don't believe i like them as much as i think i do. i think it's just stimulus-response, and just old worn out feelings. but whatever. it'll all work out eventually i guess. i'd just really like a b-friend. but i guess either there's something wrong with me (and no i'm not looking for compliments) ...or there's something wrong with them. maybe i'm picky. who cares. at least i don't settle. oh well. i need to quit thinkin bout it. much love to you all. ---cari