You know what I used to see when I looked into my reflection in the glass... I used to see a girl who was on fire for an almighty God, a girl who was happy to wake up at 6 to see the sun rise, a girl who smiled at people just to cheer their day up, a girl who’s eyes used to sparkle when she was happy, a girls laughter that would make everyone worm inside, a girl who jumped at the chance to help someone.

But now, I see broken glass, and a girls tattered face looking back at me, with eyes that are dim and haven’t sparkled in a long time, a girl who only smiles for a minute and then it fades back into her every day determined to get through the day look, a girls laughter that anyone who knows her knows its fake and cold, a girl who tries to sleep as long as she can because that means one less minute she has to be awake, a girl who doesn’t really want to help anymore but is pushed and expected to because that’s what she has done in the past.

No I’m not going Emo and I know I’m not going to do something stupid. But I’ve lost everything in my eyes that matters, to you or your friends it may not mean a thing, but to me..to me it means the world. It seems like when I gain something, I just have to lose 3 other things. It seems like I always end up helping someone, and by the time I’m done helping someone else get through their problems, I just want to cry when I face my own problems.

I know I sound really stupid, and in a few days when I read this I’ll probably laugh at myself (with that cold fake laugh) but that’s how I feel RIGHT NOW..in THIS MOMENT.