Amy
Relationship Status
In A Relationship
Interests
Writing, photography, scrapbooking, acting, singing, God, hanging out with Garrett and all my other wonderful friends, Italian food, Mexican food, brownies and most anything else chocolate, video production, music, my iPod, dancing, laughing, reading
Favorite Music
Switchfoot, Jars of Clay, Lifehouse, Bethany Dillon, Kutless, Relient K, The Fray, Starfield, Leeland, Building 429, U2, Avril Lavigne (first two albums), The Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, no country and no rap
Favorite Movies
Pride and Prejudice, Phantom of the Opera, While You Were Sleeping, Little Women, Daddy Day Care, A Beautiful Mind, October Sky, The Majestic, The Mighty Duck movies, I Am Sam, Night at the Museum, and many more...
Favorite Books
The Bible, Wild At Heart, Waking the Dead, A Walk To Remember, Finding Alice, Little Women, Captivating, Crime and Punishment, The Veritas Conflict, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Importance of Being Earnest
Other Websites
http://amypowers.net
From the Outside Looking In
June 03 2007
I'm not sure if there's a way to describe how I'm currently feeling. I am in Mississippi, once again, and I think this may be the third trip now that I've made here with the shock that my grandfather is still alive. Everytime I see him I pray to God that He would take him home. But He hasn't yet, and I'm not sure why. I know he'd be so much happier there.
My grandfather has now wasted away to 115 pounds. As a thin, petite girl standing at 5'1" and weighing at 100 pounds, it marvels me that this man can survive at a weight only 15 pounds more than my one. When I was warned of his weight I was extremely shocked, but nothing could prepare me for the first time I laid eyes on his new, ultra fragile figure. I couldn't help but cry.
He also hasn't recognized me yet. Last time, in January, he actually realized who I was a few times. But this time, it's like he's on a whole other planet, seeing things that aren't there and talking to people who aren't there. He's always looking away, and rarely at my mom or me when we're in the room. It hurts so much to remember that just a few years ago he was my goofy old granddad, whose house I would love to go to, especially at Christmas. I remember hugging him when we walked in after our arrival, after he made some goofy comment, acting as if we were total strangers. But now it's not an act. Now we are total strangers to him.
I feel as if to ease the pain, I am trying to disconnect from the situation, even withdrawing myself from my grandma. I hate to do that... it's not like she deserves that. I actually feel that I don't know how to act around her anymore. I've been so quiet on this trip, hardly talking, and that's very unlike me. I have been submerging myself in the fiction world of books, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, except that has been more of a reality to me than my actual reality. It's been a tough two days, and there are only more days to come. Now as you read this and if you ever think to in the future, I would appreciate it if you say a prayer for my family. This is a rough time for my mom and me, and we're still trying to figure out how to handle it all.
