Well the wedding is off I moved back home, and actually I'm kinda happy, yet sad. I'm single now and just trying to get by. But I have a wonderful friend named Brigette who is trying to find a guy for me! lol Oh how time really changes

Well, I guess I will be leaving you all for a bit. I'm moving out tomorrow with my fiance. But don't worry, I will be back shortly. So don't miss me to much! I love you all!!

how things change so quickly........

I have decided it is time to let go of this guy that I have been holding on to.. I have heard so much about him from friends of his, and I am way better than this. I do not deserve to get used, and treated like shit. I did fall in love with him, and now I need to let go. I believe I am better off. We were going to get back together, but now I have no trust for him, and as far as I am concerned, I don't need this anymore. So I have decided to just let go. It will hurt me, but I believe I can make it thru, and be fine. And pray things will work out for the best.

        ...It's just letting go is the hardest part........

Life definitely isn’t perfect
you fall in love with the wrong people
ignore the most important things in life
make mistakes when you knew better

This feeling was hard to get over, but I did it. And I moved on from you. You left me. And left me crushed. I had friends to pick me up when I needed it. I MOVED on from you, and your insecurities. I moved on form the lies, and the distance we had. Right now things are better. And he is great to me. He was my friend, now he is something more. He offers me more than you could ever. ..But there is just one question on my mind. Will this feeling last for HIM, or will I be hurt again?......

Until The Day I Die
-Story of the Year

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die to
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!

Kerosene
Miranda Lambert

I'm waitin' on the sun to set cause yesterday aint over yet
I started smoking cigarettes there's nothing else to do I guess
Dusty roads aint made for walking, spinning tires aint made for stoppin'
I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me

I gave it everything I had and everything I got was bad
Life aint hard but it's too long to live it like some country song
Trade the truth in for a lie, cheating really aint a crime
I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me

Forget you high society, I'm soakin' it in Kerosene
Light 'em up and watch them burn, teach them what they need to learn HA!
Dirty hands aint made for shakin', aint a rule that aint worth breakin'
Well I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me

Now I don't hate the one who left You
He's out there holding on to someone, I'm holding up my smoking gun
I'll find somewhere to lay my blame the day she changes her last name
Well I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me
Well I'm giving up on love HEY love's given up on me

Good-bye High school and drama....hello real world and fear....

you never think the last time is the last time. you
never think there will be more. you think you will
have forever. but you don't.
grey's_anatomy <3

rumors.....gotta love 'em! not...

school is almost over.
so excited!!
ready to graduate!
 and its almost prom time!! yay...

well im off to bed....night!

Honestly, I don't think they can. Right now things are just amazing! This weekend has been the best ever. I could not ask for a better one. Friday- amazing, saturday-just perfect, and today-breathtaking......Right now I am so happy and have nothing else left to say....I'm in love with life right now!!

"Love Is Looking For You"
-Miranda Lambert

Maybe you're just jaded from some nobody's unforgotten words
Maybe you're just faded, a little gray from every time that you've been hurt
So you're lookin for your skin that you never did fit in
You can't hide when you're turned inside out
Love is looking for you now

Maybe you been burnin' but you can't blow out a flame that you can't find
Maybe you've been thirsty but the rain just aint enough when you're this dry
So you're runnin' from the water and the fire's getting hotter
I think you better find some lever ground
Love is lookin' for you now
Love is lookin' for you now

Maybe you been wearing the shoes that someone else is wearing now
Maybe you've been swearing forever might have already run out
You can't love yourself at the expense of someone else
You can't hide a liar from the truth
Love is lookin' for you
Love is lookin' for you

I've been looking for you
Baby I've been lookin.....
I've been looking for you

It's amazing to me on how loving someone lingers with you after it all  ends.... I just want this one feeling to go away. I want to pretend like it never happened, and that it never ended like that. Yes, it has been 4 months, but when you were in love with someone for longer than a year its hard. And when you decided not to be friends is even harder.

Tho I am single I have moved on. I have learned so much about myself. And that I did not deserve half the crap I went through. But you know what they say: you live and you learn. And one day I will find a nice guy.....

Ok, so enough about all that. It was just on my mind and sorta bothered me. I'm looking for a new vehicle for me. I really want a truck, so I am looking into that. So is my dad. He really wants to help me out.I want an older truck tho, not these new cheap ones. I just want a HUGE truck I can go mudding in and won't mind if it gets dinged up... I'm also looking for an apartment, and all the good stuff. I think it is time for that. It will be hard, but I should be ok.

And I am ready to graduate!....

What Hurts The Most
-Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

It took me this long to admit to myself who I really am....

I'm a girl who is not scared to get dirty.....
who loves to go mudding
who loves big trucks
who loves cars
I'm a girl who can spend hours talking about cars
who is learning how to work on cars
who likes rodeos
who absolutly adores country boys :-)
who likes to go fishing and camping
I'm a girl that likes motorcycles
who likes the tattoo guys
and the bad boys
I'm a girl who longs to be kissed in the rain
who loves to dance in the rain
who loves to look at the stars and moon.
I'm a girl who enjoys the early morning phone calls to see if I am ok, and what I am thinking about....
but through all this I can still be that one girl that can look beautiful and never has to try hard to do it.
 This is me, wheather you like it or not, and I am tried of trying to hide it!!!  

Leave me out of your drama, and childish games!

I have the most amazing friends ever! I love them to death. But one in paticular I think I lost. He was a great friend. Always there for me, and always telling me I was beautiful no matter how bad I looked....And he always made me smile. But he wanted to be more than just friends, and I didn't. I just wanted him to be my friend, and nothing more. To just be someone I could go to and cry if I needed to, or call whenever. To tell me my hopes and dreams are not stupid, and that I can do whatever. To just hang out with me. To lift me up when I am down, and push me to do my best.....

Life is just a mess right now...

Single....An awesome word to an extent. But right now it sucks. I have my eye on someone, but I have no idea if it will ever happen. Now don't get me wrong, I love to be single, and flirt with whoever, but at it point its gets old. And I would just like the feeling to know someone cares for me and I care for them, and just have a boyfriend, and have fun.....

But enough with that sappy crap!...I have exactly 14 days til I get my tattoo! So excited. But yet nervous. Oh well..

 

MY DREAM CAR!! I will own one....one day...

Xanga Sucks. So I decided to make this little thing...Might be better who knows....

"you know what`s wrong with you, miss whoever-you-are?
you`re chicken. you`re afraid to stick out your chin && say,
'ok, life's a fact.' people do fall in love. people do belong to
each other. because that` the only chance anybody` got for
real happiness. you call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing,
yet you're terrified that somebody`s gonna put you in a cage.
well, baby, you`re already in a cage and you built it yourself "
-breakfast at tiffanys