So I guess I should elaborate on this whole wreak thing. I am perfectly fine, my car has a crack in the hood and m,y fron bumper has a scratch and my left light pops out a little but other than that thats all the damage. Probably about 400$ or more damage which sucks! I was driving behind a GMC truck and just didnt stop in time and with my car being so light it didnt catch traction and I slammed into him. He was really nice and no damage what so ever to his truck, it was a beast! haha! But my poor baby is a little busted up! Well thats all must go type a paper!

So yesterday on my way home from school I got in a wreck it was AWFUL! Let me tell ya rain is the complete devil and light way cars stink! Well I have to go to work but I'll write more later bout it.....I'm fine my car is not...

Wow so it's been a crazy break!! I am definatly not ready to go back I have been having way to much fun! Well my christmas was great and so was New Years got to spend it with my best girl Sarah...we missed you Lauren!!! Well through this break God has really been showing me a ton of stuff. I have a huge problem with patience and waiting (same thing haha sorry) and He has really been showing me how everything will work out in HIS perfect timing. I have always loved Matthew 6: 33-34 where it says "But seek first HIS kingdom and HIS rightousness, and ALL things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
God really laid that verse on my heart these past couple of weeks and really has been showing me in my life that He will take care of me and won't let me face things that are to big for me to deal with. He knows  me and He knows what I can handle and what I can't.
Well hope everyones break has been as good as mine has been. Mucho Love!!

So I have truly been thinking about alot of things that are happening in my life lately. Not all bad stuff but just random things that seem to be happening like all around me. It's crazy to think that this semester is over, I mean I'm excited because I really don't like school but then at the same time it is just another change that I have to go through. If you don't already know I'm not to big on change, I know most of the people who know me best know how hard change is for me I really take it hard. I know I know it really isn't a HUGE change but it still is a big enough change for me to get kindof nervous about. OK sorry enough bout rambling about my nervouness haha I know I'm a nerd.

So on to other things going on in my life! Ahh I am super excited because my cousin is going to have a baby boy, I think she is due at the end of December but I'm not quite sure of that but it is super exciting this is the second little kid in our family! I am soo ready for my brother and his wife to start having kids, I can't wait! Well Christmas is coming up and I am stressing out about making sure I have everyones gifts ready and all I feel every day a new person gets added to the list of people I have to buy for, it is all very stressful to try and think for that perfect gift for them!

Hmm and on to more important things, God is really laying on my heart alot of very heavy and deep things. I haven't really ever confided much of any of this stuff to people, I mean I have but only to a few people, but it seems to be getting harder to deal with on some days. I am trying to give it to the Lord to deal with because I know He can handle everything! Yet I think the Devil is having his way with me on some days when I am down. But it is in God's hands now and I just hope that it will get easier with time, I guess I just have to forgive myself for it. So I never really do this on here it feels kindof weird but if yall could just pray for me in all this stuff I know I haven't really gone into detail on here but if yall could just give me a little prayer in yalls prayers today Thanks!

This is the last thing I promise lol I have written a whole lot today I think I am just tired and wanting to talk to someone and no one is really around but the thoughts in my head and it always helps me to write things down...ok sorry back to the point. SARAH BRANSCOM READ THIS:  Thank you soooo much for praying with me wednesday night! It meant sooo much to me and truly helped me sooo much! You are such a blessing in my life and I know God has you in my life for a reason and you are such an encouragment to me and I love you girl!!!

OK I'm done thanks for reading if you read all of this, but I'm off to nap before work! Much Love

I will sing of your mercy that lead me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy... 

Hmm James Blunt is amazing! I just got done watching him sing one of my favorite songs on Saturday Night Live and he was fantastic! Hmm ok sorry random but I thought I would let yall read the lyrics to You are Beautiful....it's a amazing song! Well I hope everyone has had a good weekend mine was ok! Dissappointing really....oh well only 3 more days of school Im uber excited!

You're Beautiful

My life is brilliant
My love is pure
I saw an angel
Of that I'm sure
She smiled at me on the subway
She was with another man
But I won't lose no sleep on that
Cause I've got a plan

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw youre face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
Cause I know I'll never be with you

Yeah, she caught my eye
As we walked on by
She could see from my face that I was
F***ing high
And I don't think I'll see her again
But we shared a moment that will last till the end

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
Cause I'll never be with you
You're beautiful You're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you
But it's time to face the truth
That I'll never be with you...

Well guys it has been a while since I have written anything on here. Tons of stuff has been happening over these past couple of weeks! School is slowly coming to and end Im extremely nervous about my grades but oh well things will get better I hope! Im slowly adding pictures on this thing Ijust get caught up in foing so many other things that I dont ever have time to work on this thing! Well my schedule for next year is ok I guess I have 17hrs right now but I will probably drop one class. I went and saw Harry Potter this past weekend with one of my brothers when he got in town, it was magneficant! I loved it! Thanksgiving was really joyous, Ashe Derek and Derek's wife all came over and then we played Scene IT! the dvd game, which was hilirious! I lost but oh well! It was still fun, wow that sounds really corny, and now Im boring the brains out of yall so Ill stop for now! Everyone have a great day! Much Love!

Haha Oh yeah to answer Nate's question nope I havent gotten the money to fix my phone! So if ya call leave me a message and your number if I dont have it! Please and thank you!

So this weekend was insanely crazy had its awesome amazing points but had its huge down points also. Got to talk to a guy I dated my freshman year for the first time in a while which was fun and then hung out with Cordell a friend from highschool, I love that boy! But anyways the whole reason for this post is to tell ya bout my phone. The inside screen got busted up will bad, so I cant see any texts so dont send them I wont be able to read them and also if you try and call and I dont pick up and you really want to talk to me you gotta leave a message bc I cant see who I miss a call from either and it is goin to cost $110 to fix it and I wont have that kindof money for a lil while so until I tell yall otherwise this will how it will be until I get some money to buy a new phone!

 Well this is what the screen looks like:


Also I dont know anyones phone numbers right now so Im sorry if I stop calling! Well thats bout all I hope everyone has a great week and I hope mine gets better!

Some people amaze me and the things they do, and the way they go about doing them and the way they tell you about things...

So I've decided that I hate Physical Science and the man who teaches it can go throw himself off a mountain! Ahh we just had a test on friday and mind you this is a MWF class we have a test TOMORROW do I need to repeat we have one TOMORROW we only went to class once since Friday and we "covered" chapters 11,12 and 13 through section 3! AHH College is awful....hmm oh well. On to other things this weekend was ok. Derek's b-day dinner was good had an unexpexted guest which through me for a minute but w/e things happen. Then after that I went and saw "my boy" lol at Fat Willies then went home for like 30min when Sarah called and went to the imfamous Steak and Shake where Robert, Cody,Lauren, Sarah, and Nate were there. That was really fun and GREAT conversation, let me tel ya it was awesome!! Then got home round 2ish and hit the bed.. I was pooped.... They tried to call me into work on Sunday and I was like nope not goin to I stayed in my pjs and in my bed ALL day...it was nice I miss doing that. I've also come to releaze that I let peoples opinons on things way to much on my desicion making..and I dont need to do that anymore, I think thats why Im so unhappy is because I do things bc thats what most(not everyone) want me to do or think thats "whats best for me" well not anymore Im goin to make my desicions based on what I think is best for me not anyone else...thats how I got soooo screwed in the firstplace, I let everyone tell me why I needed to and not listen to my heart which was telling me not to....hmm life sucks sometimes but  gotta take the good with the bad....Well I need to study but just can't get myself to concentrate which STINKS because I really need to study this I feel like Im failing all my classes..hmm sometimes I wish I was back in highschool things were soo much easier and structured.. but have to press on cant look towards the rear but ahead into the vast open road ahead of me..Hmm I really feel like this is long and pointless so thanks to whoever reads it all which I know will only be Rachel lol she always reads my stuff I love ya girl I dont know what I would have done without you these past few months(ha except for introducing me to him lol what a jerk...oh well haha) Well most study...Mucho Love!


Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk.....Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me...Because of you I'm afraid...

I wish I didn't feel the way I feel sometimes bout life. I wish I didn't hurt so bad. I wish I could get over all this, I feel like its holding me back from being truly happy.Heartache stinks. I guess its something I have to deal with, it is my fault I feel this way in the first place. I hate how much I miss him and he doesnt at all. I wish I could go back to April and do things t-totally different, I wish people didnt influence and have such an impact on me as they do. Hmm rightnow life is hard! But oh well Ive lived like this for the past 6mths I guess it cant really get any worse, but hmm it can. Plus guys can be HUGE jerks sometimes! Sorry I guess I just had to vent for a minute, but all will be better later!

Soo those were the better times, I remeber that day perfectly. I miss Ben he was awesome and helped me through SOOO much!

Ah gotta love Keith Urban!! So these past few days have been umm interesting to say the least got a HUGE scare yesterday on my way to figure out when I worked but every thing got worked out and all is wonderful again, but I found out I dont work at all this weekend which is good and bad! Awesome because I havent had an "official" week off since I started working there but bad because I have NO money what-so-ever which limits the things I can do lol! This entry is very random! haha love it! But yesterday me and my mom went to Target and I got the new Billy Currington CD can you say t-totally awesome! I love his voice its soo southern drawn and sultry(spellin) lol anyways I have tons of favorites on the CD already but its time to go eat so Ill talk to everyone later...Mucho Love!

Wow soo this weekend has been soo amazingly wonderful!!! I met this AWESOME guy like a couple weeks ago and this past week we got to talking and trying to hang out and finally got a chance to friday night after I got off so that was fun he is super sweet!! Then saturday I had to work 2-close which stunk but oh well, then I met up with him again for only a lil bit bc I everyone to head to Devils Dungeon let me tell you SCARY!!!!!! Sooooo much scary then Haunted Woods, but I loved it lol such an adreline rush....we are goin to try and go to a haunted castle or something like that then either the haunted prison or slaughter house we havent really decided but it was fun! Then this morning headed to church to see everyone before they left before goin back to UT I miss them already lol!! Im a nerd then I went to work till 5 came home and showered then met my amazing guy again and we ate at Toots and then went and got starbucks.....Yumm Pepperment mocha... anyways the only one who will remotly know or care who Im talking bout is Rach hahaha I love ya girl, we need to def go to the matnee tuesday to see Into the Blue Yet Im extremely tired only got three and a half hours of sleep last night soo Im headed to bed Night all!! Woo Hoo Fall break tomorrow!!

So im sitting here watching Pleasentville on TNT and I have decided I was born in the wrong era.. I think I should have been born in the 50's instead of now. The 50's were simplier times and the way things worked with everything was soo nice! Well random I know but thought i would post it.

"At first we were the only ones on the floor, everyone watching us as we glided around the floor. I think they all knew how we were feeling about each other, and it reminded them of when they were young, too. I could see them smiling wistfully at us. The lights were dim, and when the singer began a slow melody, I held her close to me with my eyes closed, wondering if anything in my life had ever been this perfect and knowing at the same time it hadn't.

I was in love, and the feeling was even more wonderful than I ever imagined it could be. "


-Nicholas Sparks
(A Walk to Remeber-The book)

So its been a weird couple of weeks these past few weeks. Im not so sure Im cut out for college, the teachers dont care and its hard and sometimes I just dont get it, maybe I just need to study even more then I already do but w/e. People in highschool LIVE IT UP!!! So anyways Ive been hanging out with some really awesome guys lately they all work or use to work with me and they are soo nice I love every one of them and the just make me laugh non stop all the time. Im stuggling to make it through the rest of the semster I find myself soo up and down these past few days and I hate it. I miss a certain someone alot its been awhile since we actually had a conversation about everything but oh well things do change...I guess its really hitting me that everyone is changing, and I feel like I havent and I dont understand. Im also soo ready to move out, I had a convo with my mom bout it tonight and she was like well good luck with that I was like thanks mom! So as of right now I have to start saving for that. Im soo tired of living at home I should have picked the dorm....hmm oh well you live and learn take the good with the bad. Ha on to another note, I absolutly love the new Dierks Bently and Billy Currington songs...they are sooooooooo amazingly beautiful. One again at the end of the month I get to dog sit for my bro which should be fun!! I wish you could put music on these things bc I would love that lol sorry randomness. Well last night I went with Nate and Rach to Marble slab mmmm can you say yummy we were there from 7:30 to 10 then I headed over to a friends house to help him and another guy settle some issues they are struggling with right now so hopefully things will get back to normal with them!! Hmm this whole entry was completely and totally pointless Im not sure if I even want to put it up as one I know I need to update but I really have a millon things running through my head right now that I cant keep them all straight.. Its like a pinball machine and the balls are boucing everywhere lol...not to good of an analogy... I suck at writng lol I have discovered that haha who would have guessed.. well Im finshed writing all my useless stuff I guess I just needed to spill my guts on some random things for a minute well thanks to the ones who read all this lol!!! And also sorry for the sheer randomness of it all and I hope yall understand ha! Much Love------


My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

So I went by Riverdale this afternoon to have Staats check on my car bc it is still giving me trouble I really dont think those guys fixed it at all, but anyways I had alot of fun going back down there I know this is weird to say but I really miss highschool, I personally loved highschool and didnt mind going all day to class bc you were there with people you knew. But I enjoyed talking to one of my guy friends from last year he is such a doll and told me he would change my oil for me tomorrow if I brought it back so thats probably what I will do and go see my Nursery School Teacher to while Im there, gah I miss her and the kids!! oh well time to go get ready for bed Im pooped! and YAY for being off tomorrow night!! Im goin to the haunted woods with some people I work with Im super pumped yet super terrified at the same time wish me luck lol!!

P.S I dont know what I would do without you Rachel I love you!!!!

Its hard.

Sometimes you're faced with a cut that wont heal.

So pretty sure me life was rocking, but now I cant help but doubt alot of things that I shouldnt be doubting. I hate having up and down emotions. Hmmm....


He was my everything......

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

Thats all I have to say write now!

So its been about 5mths since it happened. Yet I still find myself thinking maybe I didnt make the right decision, maybe I shouldnt have done it, maybe I should have waited it out and seen what happened, I should have been patient and trusted, But I didnt, I jumped to my own conclusions to it all and listened to what everyone else said would be the better decision then what I truly felt. It sucks to hurt this bad and not let anyone know that sometimes my heart is still broken in two and that I still miss it all. Yeah time does help but like the saying says it doesnt heal all wounds. But enough bout my pitty party just had to get it off my chest, but whatever.

So anyways today was fun. Me and Rach worked out last night which was an expience all on its own. I love when Rach txts me and Im sitting right beside her hahaha, we are soo crazy and this definantly has to become and regular thing of working out lol! But im goin to go wash my car, but Ill see most of yall at church tonight! Love--