soooo you know how sometimes you know you need to do something but you just don't want to....yea thats where i am right about...NOW!!

So regions was today in cross country, ending most of our teams season. Many emotions going into and out of this meet. Nervous to do the expected, excited to do well, scared to do bad, anxious to get started. The running actually didn't take that long, it is all a blur. I feel as if I skimmed through it. After the race earing 22:03 as I passed through the line made me happy, a personal record by 1 second feels as good as a PR by 22 seconds. And now I am exhausted and my legs want to give up and my feet hurt with ever step, other great feelings of great accomplishment! :)

iv'e been doing some thinking and i came to the conclusion that i should live my life the way i was meant to live it. and not trying to live up to the standards of other people. i kind of caught myself doing that lately and i don't like it. not one bit. Life is way to short to be worrying about what I look like, what my weight or height is, what people think of me, and what....this guy thinks of me. to much worrying. gahlee.

Live life to the Fullest!

Praise God every day for it!

life has been....ugh...weird lately.
dunno how to explain it, but i'll try my hardest.

i'verealized lately how much i act and put on this show for everyone. even for myself...and i haven't caught myself until lately.

i went to the judgment, and during the scenes everything hit me hard. i had been covering up this lie for so long...i just started bawling. i don't know what happened...but i cried a good 30 minutes or so afterwards + during the actual thing. it's really hard to explain. when i saw all of the
scenes (which by the way have all happened to me in one way or another) i realized how much i take my life for granted and i do stupid
things...without realizing how much it affects my personal life with christ.

i've fallen so far away...haven't been making much room for my "quiet time"...i've not been picking up my bible, i don't pray as often as i should. i don't know. i felt like i had been faking "happy go lucky christian" all this time and didn't even know the real meaning of having a relationship with jesus christ. 

yeah. i screwed up pretty big this time.

i've been hiding and throwing all of my own problems on the
backburner..hoping no one would ever see them. only i would know what was in the back of my mind. and i've been hiding so much for so long. i just needed a pressure valve last night. someone to open it up and let all the steam out. yeah, thanks for being there chris (morgan). i just felt like breaking down in someone's arms. at the moment, i felt so
unloved and unwanted. it just all rushed in at once.

yeah, there's probably no one reading this, but that's okay. i need to get it out of my system.

i hope that if you are though, and i've hurt you in ANY way, shape, or form...i truly appologise. i really haven't been myself lately...and everything triggered anger. and when i say everything, i mean it. i was so vulnerable and satan took advantage of me.

but yeah.
just keep me in your prayers while i'm working everything out with my heavenly father. we need "the talk" again. i need to get some rules set down in my life. bear with me while i'm learning all over again to fall in love with him.

thanks......
[becca]

I am so ready for the last game of the season. We are so gonna win!!! All is good though so I'll talk to ya'll later. 

Since the Pledge of Allegiance
and
The Lord's Prayer
are not allowed in most

public schools anymore
Because the word "God" is mentioned....


A kid in Arizona wrote this new prayer.

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.


If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, ORANGE or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.


For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.


We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.


We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.


It's scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!


Amen

Hey im bored

Last night was the premier night for the church...

it was awesome!!!!

well here is a picture of me after all was said and done...

scary i know...lol...

well can't wait to do it again for 5 days straight starting tomorrow night!

!!!J'Aime TU!!!

What a short week at work (2 days).  However, there was enough to do and enough stress yesterday to cover a whole week's activities.

Commuting this week is a breeze .... 20 minutes to work 35 minutes home.  That will change on Monday when everybody returns to work ..... 30 minutes to work ... 1-2 hours coming home.

Work is kind of sucky right now. There's a gazillion things to do before year-end and I seem to get more dumped on me every day.  Also, I seem to be "doing" all the work ... while the others "talk" about the work.  HEY JOSH, want to give me a hand?  Sure could use some excel spreadsheet assistance !!

We now have "Indonesian broadband". Overall, its not too bad ... and about 10 times faster than dial-up.  Its a T-1 phone line type system running through a 4-port ADSL router.  Right now, have all 3 PCs hooked up directly.  I may try to network the girls' PCs so that they can access the i-net from their bedrooms.  BUT, I'm not sure I will be sucessful - the house is made of concrete and I suspect I won't be able to get a strong enough signal from PC to PC.

A couple of Houston friends are coming in next week for a business trip; Paul Sanchez and Nat Simpson.  I am looking forward to seeing them ... they are good friends (especially Paul ... as we both lived/worked in Angola).

About the electrical stablizer ... mechanic looked at it ... said it is OLD ... and it is broke .... stage right ... now back to the company ... wonder if they are going supply one that works ... I'm certainly not going to buy one ... and the owner isn't either.  For now, it is turned off.

Well, enough blogging for today .... I'm already tired and haven't even left for work ....

ciao ciao

Not quite sure what was going wrong yesterday ... browser was unchanged ... and was still using slow dial-up connection.  Today, I am on "Indonesian broadband".  Its not too bad all things considered.

Now, to improve readibility, I am re-posting the Opa (b)ule blog.

***********************

This will be a long hodge podge of commentary … please be patient.

 

ONE.  About the title.  Ok, as you know Decy, the girls, and I were in Unjung Pandang (“UP”) over a long weekend.  There, I got to meet Decy’s son, David; his wife, Anna, and their 2YO son, Rain.  Rain and I hit it off pretty well … language didn’t create any barriers … so what is “Opa (b)ule” ? Well, Josh and Liz know that “Opa” is the name I have chosen for “grandpa” … which is a dutch heritage word, but used often in Indonesia … as for (b)ule … well … Rain can’t yet say “bule” which is Indonesian for “albino” and slang for American and “white colored” folks … so, Rain calls me “Opa Ule” … so I am … “white grandpa” to little Rain.  And, by the way, Dave and Anna have a second baby on the way … due in January (Josh/Liz … don’t get any bright ideas !!).

 

I got to see where Decy grew up as a child.  The house was small and simple.  It reminded me of the house in Nevada (that use to freeze up in the winter) and also of the house in Casper, Wyoming …. Grandma Suzy will fully understand. BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD …. Each and every one that believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life … but by the grace of God … what I saw was Decy’s past … and a reminder of my past.  Step-by-step … walking in His grace.

 

We ate a lot in UP … mainly in un-A/C restaurants.  It was incredibly hot … sometimes I could handle it … sometimes I could not … food was absolutely fantastic … I cannot possibly describe the flavor of soup, noodles, meatballs, and Soe Mei (kinda like Indonesian ravioli with pork meat).  As for costs … most meals (on the street ) were about US$2 per person.

 

Also, in UP we spent a lot of time with Decy’s childhood friend “Daisy” … yep … Daisy.  I have met Daisy before.  Daisy is an incredibly nice young lady that has worked hard to have a good life and not given in to the temptations of life.  Someday the right man will come along … she’s single and has never married.  Daisy came to Jakarta with us.  Don’t know how long she will stay here. She’s always welcome.

 

SECOND.  Remember the broadband we were supposed to get last week? Well, after hours and hours of waiting and being repeatedly told “he’s on his way” … we call the installer directly.  Answer:  Installer was never even told he had a job to do.  I HATE BEING LIED TO !!!!  Anyway, by that time it was too late … so we went to the airport … supposedly the broadband (well, Indonesian broadband) will be installed on Thursday.

 

Today, we went for a drive to an area called Tangerrang … consider it a faraway suburb of Jakarta.  There we had lunch with an Indonesian friend (Omalia) that we met in Angola (her and her husband live in Angola) and she is here for the holidays.  We ate local food (of course).  Omalia’s husband arrives in a day or two and we will probably see them this Saturday.

 

Also, we have another friend (I posted her pic once), Shairifa, who is coming to Indonesia and I think she will stay a few days with us … .AND, Stela a very close Angolan friend of ours (I’ve blogged about her before, including her pic) will be spending a couple of weeks with us in November … now if only we can get Tom Rapson here … and introduce him to Daisy ….. he he he ….

 

THIRD.  The company finally hooked up the backup generator and power stabilizer … as well as finished installing the alarm system.  All that was done the day we were leaving … what a bunch of chaos … and they were wanting to test things …. And show us how to do stuff … as we were leaving for the airport.  We still haven’t activated the alarm.  As for the stabilizer … well, it was “calibrated” when all the A/C units (we have 11) were off … soooo … when we came home … and started turning on the units .. breakers were kicking left and right … finally we bypassed the stabilizer …. They can come recalibrate it … with the A/C units ON …

 

FOURTH.  It is incredibly hot in the maid’s / drivers’ / guard area … and the fans are insufficient … plus, I thought they had a TV but they don’t  …. So we rushed to the store today …and bought another fan to move the air … and two 14” TVs for them (US$60 each) …. The staff are thrilled that we thought of them !!!!

 

Also, while at the store, bought the downstairs stereo …. 5 CD, surround sound, 7 –speaker system … that reads DVD, MP3, VCDs, etc … and can feed the TV … as well as take the karaoke from the TV … total power …. 12,000 watts.  Total cost … notionally US$550 …. Actually, in checking it out … its really a media PC … Che and Daisy are currently doing karaoke on it now … as I type … NICE !!!! (music and voice).

 

Well enough blogging for now.  I need to rest and relax, tomorrow will be a stressful day … maybe I’ll sing a bit … eat a bit … and then jump in the pool …

 

I LOVE MY FAMILY …and ESPECIALLY MY WONDERFUL AND PATIENT WIFE … DECY ….

 

Ciao ciao

one night i awoke, in a dripping sweat
a pounding pulse, oh i can't forget
the nightmare i had..
there were people screaming, and hearts left beating
while their dreams flooded the earth
left to be forgotten and trampled on for years...
oh it brought me down to tears...

my greatest fear is being treated like a loon
like i never knew what i wanted to do..
when all i wanted was to save the world
from our own fate, and our own mistakes..
oh we can't live like this forever..
in time we'll surely die..
fight it off your demons with me!

we'll take this over in time
just step by step and stride by stride
pace with me slowly,
it won't happen over night...
no matter how hard you wish..

we'll save each other, even with
a dying breath..

is the one thing about Lee that I do not like. It is always colder here then it is in Murfreesboro. I've been sick for a week. Cold weather needs to go away!

im tired....it hasnt been a good day......but on the good side....charlie is on her way over.......feel my pain???

Join us this Friday, October 27th for a trip to the Lascassas Corn Maze for a cookout with hot dogs and smores, a hayride, hay mountain, and of course the corn maze.  The cost is $5.  It will cover the cost of hot dogs, marshmallows, and entrance into the corn maze.  We will meet at the BCM at 6:15 p.m. and leave for the corn maze around 6:30.

As many of you know, Paul, Chris our friend Patrick and myself went to see the judgment.
You guys were SOOO AWESOME. I'm not kidding, it really moved me, very powerful, very effective.
The only thing about the judgment is that both times I've seen it, it leaves me longing to be in church acting again.
I don't know if I can adequately convey the desire kindled in me when I see you guys ministering through scenes to do the same.  I want so badly to do it.

I'm not here to fish for compliments, but I think, anyways, that God's gifted me to some extent in theatre, and after leaving the judgment last night, the desire I felt has left me wondering. 
I'll put it this way, the only other thing that close to my heart is preaching :which is my calling.
So.. it's an item of prayer now.  I guess, am I gifted enough here?  And more so, God, are you calling me to theatre, in some extent?  (Because I'd really like that! ;-)

So I just had a wonderful night hanging out with my brother and a friend of mine at the pool hall.....I actually just got home only because I sat there talking with her for the past hour and a half.......I actually had a fun time out tonight......Amazing aint it

"When you are down to nothing, God is up to something."

wow......

life is amazing

yay for boys

well one boy

a band boy

a sax boy

dang i love this... mutual #1ness

ya know what i dont love????

there are only 3 days of band left

i think i shall cry now

we will rock COC!!!!!!!

much love

-emily

The Judgment was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. I cried during one scene.......

I was so proud of everyone who was in it.

:-)

: P

have a question.

would like an answer.

p.s. y do i keep using this???

i guess cuz no one reads it.

: P

have a question.

would like an answer.

p.s. y do i keep using this???

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didnt mention us
The bible didnt mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But there just soft light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
He told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
He told me that I'd done alright
and kissed me till the morning light the morning light
and he kissed me till the morning light

you are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

I've been on Xanga for 1068 days. And now it has started to die. I had about 85 subscriptions that I had to reduce to 19.

We go our separates ways, I suppose. I didn't think it would start with the internet first, however.

Is Phusebox the next to die?

Danny

It is the longest week ever.

Shouldn't it be Friday by now?

I think that, in this special week, the average day length has been about 32 hours.

My time sheet at work says I worked 5.5 hours today.

But I know better. I'm convinced I really worked about 8.5 hours.

I have a test tomorrow. I have been studying for it for the past two days.

And I feel like I know as much as I did when I began studying.

I can't concentrate.

I can't focus.

But the rest of me is fine.

What is going on?

"gurl, ho' dat umbrella closuh tuh mah head 'fo' da rain get in mah brannew weave! i pay a sh*tlo' demunny fo' dis mess." -laquiesha

"sho don' loo[k]it." -shanice

. . . that was an exchange i heard take place between two girls i walked past earlier today.

a rough translation into english for your benefit, amy powers:

"excuse me, miss, would you please hold that umbrella closer to my head before the rain ruins my brand new weave? I paid quite a large sum of money for this hair-do." -courtney

"my, it sure doesn't look like it would cost too much." -emily

good times in the ghetto.

"I'm Santa Claus." Patrick Chinnery, one of the Mock Trial coaches.

For Jesh, this is pretty much what I talked to you about that one
night that I said I'd post eventually.  It's not nearly as in depth as
I could, and maybe should, make it, but this is what I made for my guys
devos.

Guys,
this one's a bit different, more on the philosophical side, but it's
really what God's been doing with me. Also, there's a whole lot
more that I have to say about this stuff, so if you have any
questions, please ask. I hope this benefits you as it now does me.

Why
do we have to wage spiritual warfare?

Why
can't God intervene and stop the devil from attacking us?

And
if God is all powerful, if the devil is attacking us, doesn't that
mean He's allowing the enemy to attack us?

These
are the questions that I've dealt with recently, prayed over, and
really feel like God's given me some insight about.

First
of all, the first two questions go hand in hand, because since God is
all powerful, He could intervene in my life and stop the devil from
attacking me. Which makes me ask “God, why don't you do this? It
seems like you're just letting the devil attack me.”

Well,
in response to this, let's say God did always intervene. He never
allowed the devil to throw anything at my life to divert me from Him.
But think about that. That would mean all temptation would not
exist, because temptation is of the devil, and if God always stopped
the devil from attacking us, then temptation would not exist.

However,
we know temptation does exist. Furthermore, we know that God created
us for the sole purpose of having a relationship with Him: as can be
proven by Christ's sacrifice on the cross

Which
leads back to the question: “If God wants us to have a relationship
with us, why would an all powerful God allow the devil to hinder that
relationship in any way?

Well,
essentially, the answer to all of these questions is free will.

Because
the only way God “could never allow the devil to attack us” is if
He always intervened. Why? I look at it this way. God
always keeps me from having lustful thoughts, but then there's one
time that He doesn't. Well, that one time is going to be the time
that I have to resist it, quote scripture, pray, wage spiritual
warfare, to overcome it.

So
the only way spiritual warfare doesn't exist is if God always
intervenes and stops the temptation from coming.

Well,
doesn't that mean that I'm never really choosing to serve God? If
every single time there's any type of distraction or challenge to my
faith, God stops it, am I really choosing to serve God? Or is God
keeping me in continuous ignorance to the world, and He's more or
less manipulating me to serve Him?

That's
my opinion. Either God allows us to wage spiritual warfare, or He
always intervenes and renders us as people living a robotic spiritual
life. Never really choosing to serve Him, but only doing so because
we don't know the alternative.

But
the problem with this is, as I said earlier,is that it seems God's
allowing the devil to attack us.

However,
in response to this, I say that God has fully equipped us to wage war
against the enemy. Look at it this way.

Someone
trains his student to be a great warrior. But if every time this
warrior has a chance to fight, the trainer intervenes, would this
warrior ever be as great as the trainer wanted? Furthermore,
wouldn't the warrior begin to get frustrated, and actually want to
start implementing what he's learned, so he could become a better
fighter?

That's how I see it. We live in a
lost world, and the moment we start trying to win them to Christ, the
devil's going to come at us with all he has. And I don't know about
you guys, but I want to be as rooted and trained in the art of
spiritual combat as any, so that when I step onto the devil's turf,
he knows he's facing someone God's fully prepared to achieve victory,
and not someone cooped up inside a life of spiritual ignorance.
Spiritual warfare is a necessity. We need it in our lives as
Christians, for without it, we can never be truly rooted in our
faith. That, in my opinion, is why it exists.

I went to the dress rehersal on Tuesday. It was awesome. If you are in Murfreesboro on one of the nights of this presentation, you have to go to it. If you don't, you'll wish you did. Then it'll be too late.

I will rise victorious, the mighty leader of a new nation.

Procrasti-nation.

Gosh, I am feeling the effects. I just hope I get home before 4 am. It is almost 10pm.

OK so the 10th PERSON  Who leaves me a comment gets a HUG the next time I see them.........so if you want a hug be the 10th

I got my permit.YaHEEEEE!!!

hehe i know most of you are probably like" Isn't she 16?" and you are right but its a lonnnggg story on why i just now got it.

but im excited.i can drive now. welll....somewhat.lol

been in a state of complete and utter confusion?
you dont know what to do next, or even what has already happened
your in a state of limbo, with no light at all
only the sound of your own voice and thoughts to keep you company...

i wish i knew what to do now

did anyone hear about that lady in gat-town that was selling like those 300 & something dogs that she was supposedly breeding on a farm?

i dunno. my mom and gma told me about it. i thought they were crazy and just didn't give me any of the drugs they were on. :

so tomorrow is the big day i go take a certain test. sean is going to go with me. (: how nice.

so anymoo. i can't wait till friday. cause dontcha know what that means! $$ im cashing in... not really its all going to my phone bill. :

*briggy (:

 each day i face new trials and wonders of life. as each trial comes my way ist up to me how in deal with them. i know deep down that i will overcome the trial that is trying to place me in bondage. some of the trials are confusing and sometimes i feel that they are to much for me to bear. one particular trial that people face in life is love for another person. the picture may not be clear at first but as days pass the picture becomes gradually clear. people can't help how they feel about another person. its hard sometimes to express your love for someone. several thoughts cross your mind like do i want to spend the rest of my life with this person or not, neither of the two want to ever hurt the other in any away, it is extremely important to take baby steps in a relationship. don't rush into things, take it slow. set boundaries for one another. God's view on a relationship is to keep God first in everything you do. allow God to be the center of your life. it is vital to get to know the other person by dating first before each take the next sterp in a relationship.

You know that feeling you get when you stay home from school and you really shouldn't?

...Yeah, I don't know that feeling either.  : D

Juuuuust kidding.  I really did sit and debate it for about 10 minutes this morning.  (A 10 minutes I could have spent getting ready and gettting to school on time.) 

I woke up about 40 minutes late, my car was covered with frost, and I've just generally felt like crap for a while.  No tests or quizzes or big assignments due today.

So I went back to bed and slept a few more hours (one hour more than I meant to).  And now... Television?  Breakfast?  Laundry?  Yesterday's homework?

Who knows.  I'll think of something.

Hey guys, i'll update more later, but I just wanted to ask quickly for your prayers.  My grandfather died yesterday morning - the visitation is today and the funeral is tomorrow in Lafayette.  Please keep my family in your prayers, for wisdom, comfort, and peace.  Thanks

I hope one day you see it again

this same love, I wanted you to have..

I hope in his eyes you see my face

And realize that I'm not crazy..

And when he tells you what he loves the most

I hope all the answers are the same...

As much as I still think the best of you...

I still feel that you just walked away..

You'll always be a friend in my heart

I hate the way things came to an end..

But God willing you still see me as I once was

With a smile on my face, holding your hand..

I guess some people are driven by heart

And not by the sense in their head...

i need to get more sleep.

    As soon as i can make it official i will no longer be Greek..... i fully intend on giving up my letters!

one day i am going to win or have a gigantic amount of money and i am never going to work ever again a day in my life!!!!

i hate work. i hate being poor.. gah.

someone save me from my middle/lower class woes...

:[

Saturday night, me and my mom went with the Breauxs to the Haunted Murfreesboro tour in the square. It was this thing where you go in groups at night and your tour guide walks you around the square and tells supposedly true ghost stories or just creepy stories that happened right there. It was fun. The stories were freaky. I don't think I believe some of them though unless I saw it for myself.

After that, we went to their house for brownies and hot chocolate and made up our own ghost story. We went around in a circle and everyone continued the story. It turned out to be pretty good. Wanna read it? Ok, sit back, relax, and brace yourself. Here's what I remember...

"This story takes place back in the 1960s in the hills of North Carolina. There was a man who lived in those hills named 'Old Man' Jenkins. No one saw him much. He just stayed in his house in the woods of the hills, isolated, and mysterious. Then one day, he decided to go into town. He met a woman there named Sue. They started talking, and Mr. Jenkins found out some things about her. One of those things is that she loved yellow roses. The more they talked, the more Mr. Jenkins started to like Sue. When he went back to his house in the hills, he kept thinking about her. He decided to plant yellow roses outside his house so when they grow he can give them to her. Some time later, he went back into town, this time carrying a yellow rose. He looked in the cafe, the one she said was her favorite, but didn't see her there. He continued to search the town for her but still couldn't find her. Mr. Jenkins then decided to check the town's church to see if anyone she knew was there and could tell him where he could find her. He came across the preacher. The preacher had ministered to Sue recently and counseled her through recent temptations. You see, Sue had an affair with another woman's husband, and she had a hard time dealing with it. When Old Man Jenkins found out about this, he went home. Later he searched the town again, still carrying the rose hoping he would see her, but this time came across some of Sue's relatives. "Do you know where I can find Sue?" Mr. Jenkins asked, "I want to talk to her." A solemn expression came over the relatives' faces. "Haven't you heard? Sue is missing. She went into the hills but we don't know why. She said something about visiting someone, but we don't know of anyone who lives in the hills. No one has seen her since." Confused, Mr. Jenkins immediately went back to his house in the hills to see if there was any sign of an accident that had taken place. Maybe her car would be there. Nothing. But Sue never came to visit me, he thought. So he went back into town a third time. He went to the house of the man she had the affair with, and a woman answered the door. "Can I help you?" "Yes, is your husband here? I think he has some information I need to know about a woman named Sue." The woman shook her head and scrunched her forehead. "I don't know what your talking about," she said before shutting the door. Mr. Jenkins started to walk away and was about to give up when he saw something strange in he backyard of the house he just came from. What is that? Mr. Jenkins stepped a little closer to the chain linked fence and gasped in shock. It was a hand. A hand with a wedding ring on its finger. He raced back home, more confused than ever now, and was in for another surprise. When he stepped into his livingroom, there, on the couch, sat Sue, and she was holding a yellow rose. "Sue!" Mr. Jenkins ran to her. "Sue something strange is going on and I need to know what happened. The people in town say they haven't seen you in a while. Have you been here the whole time?" Sue just stared at him. "I found out about your affair, and I'm sorry for getting in your business, but I think something happened to the man. Sue? Sue talk to me!" Mr. Jenkins reached out to shake her out of frustration, and to his horror, his hands went right through her. Mr. Jenkins jumped back, and when he did, he noticed something he hadn't before. A knife. A blood-stained knife. "Sue what happened? Did someone kill you? Was it that man? Was it his wife? What happened? Talk to me!" "No," Sue whispered, "It wasn't them. When you found out about the affair, you got mad. You came here. That's when you found me. I came to visit you, but you didn't seem like youself. This is your knife. I died here." Old man Jenkins took the knife and all the memories came back to him. He took another look at Sue. She had changed somehow in just that moment. He reached out to touch her, but this time his hand didn't go through. She was cold. That night, Old Man Jenkins took Sue's corpse, buried it, and covered her grave with the yellow roses he was growing for her. He couldn't sleep out of guilt. The memory played over and over in his head, but it still didn't seem real to him. He sat in the livingroom, moonlight coming in through the window, and tried to think about something else to take the place of his guilt. Old Man Jenkins realized he was starting to sweat. He wiped his brow, but continued to sweat more and more. Then he realized it was not sweat, but blood. When he looked up into the rafters, he could barely see the figure of a man...a man with his hand cut off... ready for revenge on the man who killed his love.

i won fantasy football this week. it was crazy

piece

Have you ever gotten that feeling that no matter what you do things will not turn out the way you want them to???.....just wondering

Have I mentioned how beautiful fall is yet? I can't remember if I have or not. I absolutely love it......other than when my nose is cold.

Hmmm. So I am craving Hershey kisses and hot chocolate.

Mmmmmmm. Yummmm.

and the tempurature is dropping and the breezes are picking up.

the pumpkins are all out at the church across from the football field

and i can guarentee u that all the trees are changing color elsewhere.

whish i could see it.

i guess google image search will just have to do for now ; ]

why is it that after you haven't had something in a really long time that you begin to wonder if you are ever to have it at all?

what i mean is i haven't had a man in my life in a very long time i mean like since my junior year of high school and for a while i was okay with that. i realized for a while that i didn't need a man in my life and i didn't the distraction.

but now i find that, that very thing might be the thing i am missing.

why is it that your best thoughts come when you least expect them to?

like when you are in a conversation with a friend or you are by yourself doing homework.

why is it that in this society today you have to be blonde and skinny to be loved by others?(not a reference to anyone)

answer these questions for me!

An old friend of mine, Rob Littlejohn, died this Saturday when his house caught fire. The rest of his family got out safely. He was only 18-years-old. He went to Blackman and I had known him from Stewartsboro before that. He had the most beautiful eyes and such a strong face. Freshman year I had a bit of a crush on him :-) He was very kind, and those of you who knew me that year know how much kindness meant to me. I will never forget him. Please pray for his family. Goodbye, Dear Friend, and God Bless.

I have gotten no definite answers. Drat.

 I've been trying to throw together a costume for The Judgement, but my attempts suck (out loud!!) so i'm a little irritated, GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

  I feel better. Now I just need to get the blasted thing to come together...

You Are........The Distraction

---

A Poem by Me...Krista

   The PAIN I try so deperately to avoid by avoiding YOU is tearing ME apart and there is nothing I can do besides calling out the name of the ONE that I know will always be there for ME when YOUR not.

   The LOVE I embrace when ever around YOU seems SHALLOW when compared to the LOVE of the ONE who LOVES ME more than anything in the UNIVERSE.

   Thoughts of YOU tie MY mind up in knots and distract ME when I so desperately need to concentrate on the ONE who really matters in MY life. 

   At moments I feel that nothing and NO ONE can keep ME from YOU when YOU are the ONE keeping ME away from the ONE that will never leave ME.

   YOU may feel that YOU are NO ONE without ME and with ME,WE would be ONE. But the truth is, without HIM, I am NOTHING and WE are NO ONE without the ONE.

---

Tell me how you like it!!!! i just wrote it up on the spot...nothing special...got bored in other words...see you guys (you know who you are) tomorrow at the dress rehersal!!!!

!!!J'AIME TU!!!

i praise God when a memory of you comes to mind.....when i cry....u cry with me.....there will always be a nice comfy room for u in my heart....

EVEN IF YOU MOVE TO MICHAGAN AND I MOVE TO TEXAS (INSIDE JOKE) WE WILL STILL BE BEST FRIENDS

remember all that fun we had @ CHUCK E. CHEESE  running around even more immature then all the liitle kids that were there??? those were the good days....ok well it has only been like 3 months since my chuck e. cheese birthday party.....but still...wasnt it fun??

 ive seen this soo many times:

 a good friend will help you up when you fall but..... a best friend will be laughin her butt off because she was the one that tripped you in the first place.....

GOOD TIMES......GOOD TIMES!!

MUCH LOVE....

ALLIEMOE

hey i just figured this thing out so heres my first writing!

How have you been?

so i finally got my mailbox . . . i can be reached at:

Brian King

The University of Memphis

1344 Campus Postal Station

Memphis, TN 38152

you should send me things in the mail. like money. or love letters. or love letters containing money. or big red. or a monkey. or even a monkey chewing big red and carrying money and love letters.

you know you love me. :)

Remember the dude that burned the cheese and sent us outside at 1:38 the other morning?  He got hit by a car.  Seems as though he was talking on his cell phone and stepped out in front of a car and got hit.  He fell down and skinned his arm.  I'm not sure how damaged the car was, but I'd like to know.

Also, in a Murphy 2-- room, we had an arrest made for sexual assault by one roommate on another.  Yowzer.  Luckily, I keep my door locked and my roommate tied up in his closet, so I'm pretty safe.

It's been an eventful week for Murphy.  Let's hope it stops; I don't think it will (we had a couple of toddlers and their mother stay the night down the hall, so I have no clue what's going on now).

But I've gotta head to class.  Hasta luego, yo soy Juanotan, y esto es CNN.

We just found our cat at 10 PM last night.God sure does answer our
prayers.She's my lil baby girl and Im so happy that I could cry.Im
blessed to have her back.She was stuck in someone's car engine and we
think she burned her paws.But,she's gonna be alright I have faith.

that life makes the most sense in the middle of the night.

or perhaps it's that i don't make sense in the middle of the night, and thus life and i are finally on the same page.

no matter.

it will all be confused again in the morning.

life is far too complicated, and the human heart doesn't ease matters.

do you believe in love?

i sometimes wonder . . .

So fall break is over, and I'm back at Lee. It was fun, and I enjoyed it, but it was odd at the same time. I realized I'd kinda missed being home, but at the same time I'm glad I'm not still there. I don't miss the drama and junk. Everyone seemed happy to see me, which was nice. But I kinda felt on the outside of it all. In some ways it felt like I'd been gone for a week, and in other ways it felt like I'd been gone a year. A lot of people seemed to try to keep me included, but at the same time it was like I'd missed out on everyone's lives a little too much to completely still be part of it all. Idk. It was an odd feeling to say the least. The drive back here felt really long, and the dorm was empty for the most part for about 2 hours after I got back, but it was nice. It gave me plenty of time to think about everything from what God's been doing in my life, to how things have changed, to relationships, etc. It helped me realized a lot.

Anyway. I guess I'm done rambling now. I'll be back in Murfreesboro this weekend. If anyone wants to hang out let me know

Good idea:  Driving with your headlights on at night.

Bad idea:  Driving a ratty 17-year-old Nissan, possessed with the spirit of a decrepit old man, that has an electrical bug that causes your dashboard, console, and tail lights not to come on, leading YOU the DRIVER to not notice that you are driving after dark with no headlights.

As I discovered today, the police generally frown upon this kind of behavior.  But...

I was obeying the speed limit. (I had only just pulled out of a parking lot.)  The policeman didn't see my non-functional tail lights, just the fact my headlights weren't on.  (Whew.)  I hadn't gotten a ticket in my entire year and a half of bein a licensed driver.

So I got away with a "Promise to keep your lights on while you're driving for the rest of the night," followed by an immediate "Yes sir."

14 days without liking anyone.

This is very hard.

Goodnight, my someone, I know you're out there somewhere.

Danny

I've studied and studied and I still don't feel prepared for a test I am going to have tomorrow morning.

I'm so nervous I gave myself a stomachache. Bleh.....

I need a hug....

can you believe this happened a year ago today?!







so crazy how time just flies by.

nathan is great! this past year had been amazing! ahhh i love it all!

If you have integrity, nothing else matters.
If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters.

 -Sen. Alan Simpson-

Today has been an ok day, but if I had spent it with Emilee, it would have been a whole lot better. I need to spend a little less time with football and see her more. Oh well, the season is over in less than a week anyway. I can't wait to see her. My dad is a really cool person, He took us all over the place today, and it was really fun. My parents are really cool poeple. As soon as I get a picture of  Emilee and me, I'll post it. You can see my family in my pictures file. 

so....boredom kicks in.


hmm...yeah, you know i'm cool =]


wooooahhhh..



yeah, i'm crazy. but that's fine...cause i'm finally me for once. =]


yeah, love you guys..
[[:becca:]]

The Prestige is an amazing movie. I would highly reccomend it. Prepare for a mindbender! The only thing I really disliked about it was the fact that there really was no clear-cut good vs. evil. I found that this really did bother me that there was no "good guy" or "bad guy"... because I tend to be very "black and white" in my views I suppose. But aside from that, I have to give this movie many kudos, not only for being very riveting, but also for its originality. I can honestly say I have never encountered such a story before, and that to me, is pretty exciting!

I also wanted the advice of some camera enthusiasts out there. As some of you may recall, back in the summer I talked about getting a new camera to replace my Sony Cybershot. It was being unreliable back then, but is behaving better (for the most part) these days. However, I have still been wanting a new point-and-shoot. So I had a camera selected in my mind to ask for Christmas. But then, after Hodge's Halloween party actually and seeing the different cameras there, I thought it would be really cool to have a camera that is somewhere between a regular point-and-shoot and a DSLR. I would keep my Sony around for whenever it was easier to deal with, but I thought that having a nicer camera that was still lightweight would be very ideal for me.

Anyhow, for those forementioned camera enthusiasts who have a few moments to spare, please take a moment to consider the three cameras that I think I may be most interested in and chip in your vote (or let me know if you are aware of a better option.) Anyhow, here are the different cameras and some of their specs:

Canon Powershot S3 IS
Weight: 14.5 oz
4.4. in. X 3 in. X 3.1 in.
6 megapixels
2 in. LCD
Price range about $300 - $400
CNET editor review score: 7.7
Many scene and color modes
Canon has a great reputation
Highest review score out of three.

Canon Powershot G7
Weight: 11.3 oz
4.2 in. X 1.7 in. X 2.8 in.
10 megapixels
2.5 in. LCD
Price range about $570 - $600 (not too sure about how mom would feel about that)
CNET editor review score: 7.5
Many scene modes and some color modes, but not as many as previous
Canon has a great reputation
Lightest, but also most expensive.

Panasonic DMC-FZ7
Weight: .7 lbs. (about 11.s oz.?)
4.4 in. X 3.1 in. X 2.8 in.
6 megapixels
2.5 in. LCD
Price: Around $350
CNET editor review score: 7.2
Various scene modes, probably not as many as the Canons
Panasoic has a good reputation
Has the potential to be the least expensive. A silver edition is avaliable and is prettier than the two Canons.

well to start off......id just like to say how well the youth ensamble was this mornng...way to go..........and i would like to finish this blog by saying......i dont wanna go to school tomorrow........i just wana sleep in!!!

much love

alliemoe

woooo chilli.

wooooo straight superiors.

wooooo senior year!

boooo all county.

booooo hw.

woooooo cell phone and free weekend minutes : ]

and halloween is in one week!

YAY!

thats all for now. oh, and report cards r out next week... : / i dont know.

Watch Garden State... see how Zach Braf's character feels in the begining... numb to everything?

thats how I feel right now....

a constant state of nothing.

I watched two movies tonight.

One called North Country, and the other Lakawana Blues. Both were tearjerkers. In North Country, a woman is tired of how men are treating her at her job in which she is a coal minor. No one believes that men are harrasing her. No one believes a word she says. Her son hates her and wants her locked away. All she did was tell the boss about the harrassment and she was being ingnored. The men coal minors hold a meeting. The woman (whose name is Josie by the way) goes up and speaks. They put her down. Finally her father goes up there and defends her which is ironic, because he has tried to ignore her for as long as possible from a grudge he has with her. The grudge was that she had a child, at a young age. The father tells the other men at the meeting on the microphone something like "How would you feel if your daughter was being called these [names]", the coal minors wrote on the  walls  "cunts" (directed towards her and the other women) and called her a whore. Everyone thought she slept around with everyone.She didn't.All she was doing was trying to work at the coal mine and earn money to feed her kids, and she was being judged horribly.Later on, when she is in court, she lets out that her child's father was her teacher in high school, the teacher had raped her, and the other high school student (who was the main one harrasing her in the coal mine) saw, and just ran away. At that moment, the father jumped on the teacher who was sitting on the benches. The teacher had come in and that's when she identified who he was to the court. In order to win her case, she had to have three women testify, in the end, all the women slowly stood up. And Josie's son finally sat down with her, they talked, and hugged. I cried because people can be such jerks, and mistreat other people, and that movie makes you realize that stuff like that actually happens.

What's the moral?

We need to treat people right, quit putting them down to make ourselves feel better, quit taking lives for no reason, quit complaining because we didn't get that new thing that everybody has, and have respect for those that deserve it.

Lakawana Blues was about a woman called Nannie who took care of everyone. She was a mother to all.A boy she raised goes back to his hometown and reminists all the memories of that town and Nannie. The town had perished by then, broken down, with empty buildings. Each person he ever grew up with gave them a piece of themselves (stories, history) to make his life better. They all wanted a better life for him. This was based on a true story.

What's the moral?

People are dying everyday, and we are arguing over the stupidest things, when what we really need to do is sit down, share great memories, hold on to ones that are close to us, and try to never judge one by their exterior or race.

Im so bored of life.
i kno i said this in my last post. But my status has not changed. Not at all. Im bored and tired and i feel so lifeless. I feel as though my will to live has been sucked from my body. Im a zombie. that's right. A zombie. I get up every morning. I do the same rutine. Go to school. Come home. go to work. See santini. go to bed. I simply can not take it any longer.

people always tell me that i my facial expression never changes. THere is a reason. My surroundings dont change. How can i.??

im doing a poster for some scholarship. representing the topic. "you can change the world" thats the one thing i've been havning fun with.

she said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new tow, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...
Boston...where no one knows my name..

Well I went and saw FLICKA tonight, ITS AMAZING!!!!

UMMM....

Why does it seem like life is passing me by???

What's the difference between a novel and a book?

How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?

If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?

Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit
when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?

Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?

Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?

If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?

If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?
You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service?
what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have
to serve them?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when
the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind
crash the cradle to the ground?

Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast?

If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the
serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans
be 2 cans?

Why are red buttons always the most important?

Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?

How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet
the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow
up.

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they?

If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?

Could you be a closet claustrophobic?

Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them?

If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes?

Where do all the daylight savings hours go?

Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?

What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror?

Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"

Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

Can you slam a revolving door?

If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons?

Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?
Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back
of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by
getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts!

If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror?

if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on
the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19?

What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8?

What shape is the sky?

If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?

If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them?

What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea?

  yesterday's post is slightly.... dramatic after re-reading it.

we got the new computer. its nice. its new. of course.

i got the old one. yay for me. i will just add more ram... update it to xp and i will have a nice "new" computer. which will do me just fine. (:

i borrowed $20 from sean so i could get out of the negatives... i'm afraid im going to get another overdraft charge.... which will totally fuck me but hey!

other good news i suppose: i signed up for insurance! woo hoo! (:

i'm gonna take amanda up to meet the guys sometime this week. maybe she will like donut hole or even cub! which would kinda be cool. since my two new jobs are to find cub a girl and amanda a guy lol. which i think will be exciting. i hope cub actually will like amanda as a friend. cause kayla.... fucked it up... lol.

'did i pull your string? -- no.'

i think those guys are quality entertainment!! i love 'em.

*briggy (:

~to amanda:

here are some helpful tips when going to meet the guys.

»follow the house rules. you'll see the sign on the door when you walk in. they mostly consist of: don't use all of the tp; don't drink and drive, there is always a couch to crash on; and if you drink the beer always bring a pack the next time you visit!
»wear your shoes at all times, (unless you are like me) because the front yard consists mostly of mud which then tracks into the house. :
»don't open the frige.... its smells like something died...
»respect the stripper room. even pretend you like it. its very important. if you have any free time you should help me remodel it. i'll tell you what i'm going to do to it.
»beware of the adorable dogs. :D
»they like to mess with people. (:
»JESSY. jessy is cookie's girlfriend.. jessy bitches.. cub & jessy have a mutual hate towards each other, and to listen to them bitch at each other is exciting. it makes me want to pop popcorn and watch!
»be prepared for anything. especially mcdonald's runs. :P (free of course)
»Jeffery. aka Chastell.. um... wow. hes hot, but he is dumb and he is going to jail soon... cause he stole his neighbors power meter and got caught! (hello?) so basically he sweet and all but stay away from him. he also smokes pot.. which... yeah, point.

 i recommend the boys in this order according to who i think you would like... i'm guessing.. 1: donut hole, 2: cub, 3: .... yeah that's it.

donut hole.... is tall, kinda lean, basically has no hair... its a buzz (like cub's) but cute. he drives a nice jeep cherokee that is black its up on 33's it has awesome pipes and you can hear that thing like more than a mile away. its so awesome. back to the guy himself. he seems like the quiet type.. and he seems really nice. and a fun fact: he is cub's younger brother. kinda iffy fact: he is one year younger than me. meaning he is still in high school! wow. oh, and i don't remember his real name.

cub... real name michael. is my height a bit heavy set but still cute. extremely funny, provides entertainment by bitching with jessy.. drives a royal blue truck that looks very nice. :D i think its a Ford. and he is a corrections officer like sean will be in about a month. (: meaning he brings in a bunch of money. :P he is the middle brother. his mom is called Momma Bear, and she is da BOMB. (: really sweet. he is legal to drink and likes Bud. (which i know is someones favorite beer!!) he also likes dogs... long walks on the... ha!

and i think that's all you can really be prepared for. oh. they play video games all the time. and they might even show you the penis sock. which is kinda cute but a whole lot of funny.

:D but i love 'em!

So I came back for fall break. And I realized I'd missed everyone more than I had thought. It was nice just to hang out with everyone again, and I was really happy to see certain people. It's good to be home for a change. And since pretty much everyone I know is going to the RAMP in Hamilton next weekend I'm debating on coming back again then. Who knows? I'm kinda surprised to realized I've missed it this much.

We need to get our butts in gear and play football. We lost to Lavergne 52-10 and they stink. This is a horrible week. I'm going back to bed. 

There is a huge hill close to where I live that I visit at night. You can see the lights of the city below and it's so beautiful. You have to be in the perfect position on top of the hill in order to see a clear view of it.

Should I take you with me?

Well, I have been working on PodPoint for quite some time now... mostly over the last few months. And it is finally ready for launch.

PodPoint is a site I have developed to help churches and ministries easily manage a podcast. I am super excited about finally launching this site. It has been more than a year since the idea first sparked my mind and it will be good to finally see it launch.

So, the countdown is on... Wednesday, November 1st is the launch date... after that, I think I will make some improvements on PhuseBox...

PodPoint.net

Hey Everyone,

I am really bored right now.... i think i am going to Walmart soon.

Well i dont really have anything to tlk about so i guess i will see all of yall later...... Brantley and Ariana i hope you get better..... I MISS YOU!!!

"never allow someone to pull you so low as to make you hate them."

i love that quote.

it's definately not always easy to follow, but it's good advice. i try my hardest.

i just woke up.

this is just about the latest that i have ever woken up, except for when i slept til 2 in the afternoon in montenegro. but the time in montenegro doesn't really count because when you take into account the time change i was really still waking up at 7 or so in the morning.

the point is, i got home from beale street and a movie around 2:30 or 3 in the morning and then we decided that we weren't really tired, so we went back out.

we went to germantown and wolfchase.

we went to bartlett and millington.

we were about 3 seconds from driving all the way to nashville just for kicks.

and when we finally found our way back into memphis, we drove the length of poplar in search of a donut shop. and boy, did we make a discovery.

we had finally given up when we found it. gibson's donut shop. open 24 hours. it smelled amazing.

by this time, it was like five in the morning and the shop was already begining to fill with old people. there were two old men sitting at a table drinking coffee and eating the fresh donuts.

and my, were those donuts.

i will be going back.

but seeing as how i didn't get to sleep until 6 or so this morning, i think i am going to go lay in bed and read a book. and just enjoy being by myself, for once.

ciao.

Well the wedding is off I moved back home, and actually I'm kinda happy, yet sad. I'm single now and just trying to get by. But I have a wonderful friend named Brigette who is trying to find a guy for me! lol Oh how time really changes

i don't wanna know it's over.
so save your good-bye kiss.
i don't wanna know it's over.
cause ignorance is bliss.
now i know i can't stay sober.
cause you left me here like this.<3

So Graham posted this on his facebook:



Sovereignty
by Graham Wells (notes) 12:22am Thursday, Sep 21

I think that when it comes to God, we like to forget that sovereignty means absolute authority and control.


I think that is an uncomfortable thought. Not only does that mean that
God DOES let bad things happen (they COULDNT happen, in fact, without
His allowing them to), it really does make a lot of other issues a lot
weirder, especially the question of the doctrine of election, better
known as predestination.


In a discussion on predestination, a question occurred to me. If
election isnt true, if God doesnt already know precisely who will or
wont be saved (which, Him knowing that means that it MUST happen, which
could be seen as choosing), if that isnt in His hands, then God is NOT
all-powerful and NOT all-knowing. We know that God is both of those
things, right? I'm not saying that I'm absolutely right, but the logic
is painfully and irritatingly obvious.


So what about free will? Simple answer is that I dont know. According
to Psalms, every step of our life was written out by God before our
birth. That means He knows every sin, every joy, every mistake, every
single thing that we will do before we even think a coherent thought.
Once He knows something, that is the way it is. There are no "what if"
games with what God knows, no room for Him "knowing where each of our
choices could lead." To be all-knowing, He MUST know every answer
already. By Him knowing it, it MUST happen that way. That means that
though we have free will, we have no choice at all and we dont even
realize it.


As frustrating and ego bruising as that is, I find that I dont really
care that much. More than He cares for us, Yhwh desires His own glory.
If it is in His plan that He is glorified by my one path, then so be it.


Darned peculiar thought process. I'm reasonably certain I intended to
be in bed almost an hour ago. I dunno. I'm open to other thoughts or
people punching holes in mine. :-)

I responded with:


Karissa Krapf wrote
at 11:26pm on October 20th, 2006
The
problem is the Bible says different things about god...so no one really
knows what this supposed god is like...which is why i think hes most
likely made up...and if a god does exist we dont know shit about him-
obviously. Also, if he knows everything and is all powerful, that means
he made us sin...so he damned some of us to hell on purpose because he
put the tree there and knew what we would do if he did...messed up
stuff. but i take great comfort in knowing it probably isnt real.


Graham responded:





From:
Graham Wells

To:
Karissa Krapf

Subject:
Well . . . you're right on something.

Message:
"What if God,
choosing to show His wrath and make His power known, bore with great
patience the objects of wrath - prepared for destruction?" Romans 9:22

So
yeah, I think that does state that some people are created that are
destined for destruction in the long run. It's not pretty, but a lot of
things arent. *shrug*

Is this what every Christian believes?  I have definite problems with this and I would hope that others do as well.  God cannot possibly be what Graham states and be loving/all good.  It would basically go like this:  God says, "Okay, I'm going to make some people.  I am going to make a place called hell (or it already existed) and make some of the people burn in it.  I will torture them forever.  I will give them the illusion of choice between me and hell, but ultimately a lot of them will burn for all eternity because I say so."  Now seriously people, that is far from good.  And that is not love.  That is like me saying that I will have children and give one all of my love, care, attention, and help them their whole life, and the others I will throw out on the street or keep in a closet with little food and water and beat occasionally.  Tell me how that is NOT the same thing.  And on top of that, God supposedly expects his Christians to be good, loving, and "turn the other cheek"=peaceful.  Hypocrisy?  Basically, the concept of god being concerned about his authority and his glory and thus electing some people to be with him cannot be reconciled with god being love and goodness.  Tell me how it can be.  It can't.  And I can't believe anyone would want to worship a God like that.

Opinions please.

So I've decided that if Condoleeza Rice really wants a shot at presidency, she'll need two things:
1. A fallback (defense plan)
2. A good (probably moderate) running partner

For her fallback, she needs to make sure she's perfect with the whole North Korea thing.  She says one wrong word right now, she's screwed, but if she runs a tight ship, she can always fall back on it.  Case in point:

Candidate: "I cured AIDS."
Condy: "That's nice.  I stopped North Korea from raining nuclear holocaust on the world."

That will garner a few votes at least for Condy.

As for her running mate, if she somehow got John McCain (who I would like to vote for for president), she could snag some of the moderate vote as well.  Playing to the right with Condy and the middle-mid-right to mid-right with McCain could possibly win the election.

Of course, the best plan would be to make me king.

Thoughts of rain at sunset
Clouds of rainbow blue
Thoughts of sun on sand-dunes
Where the seabirds flew
This was our season, and we said it couldn't end
But my love left with the rain.

Thoughts of leaves in autumn
Falling from the trees
Thoughts of hoaring tree tops
Leading to the sea
This was our season, no lies and no pretend
But my love left with the rain.

Thoughts of springtime rainfall
Touching flowers that bend
Thoughts of wind in willows
Days that never end
This was our season, but sorrow waited round the bend
For my love left with the rain.

Rain's the way you move now
Sun the way you seem
Leaves the way you wonder
Flowers the way you dream
This was our season, and we said it couldn't end
But my love left with the rain - NIck Drake

i love that song.

-I'm in love with Spanish. I've got a flippin' A average in there, and that's the class I spend the least amount of time studying for. I'll be glad when next semester rolls around and I can begin my education classes.

-Work is pretty cool. The new quarter started this past Monday, and I've got 16 kids in my Spanish class. . . I'm going to start offering two, because it's harder than hades to teach a language to so many kids with such a large age range.

My life has been getting better and better. God's been providing me with new insights to everything around me, new people for me to befriend, and a new craving for His word.

Hot dog.

That's. . . that's about it.

Yeah so I No LONGER work at CHICK FIL A!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am so poor that i feel that i should be walking around digging through dumpsters for a scrap of anything... i have even gone through everylast penny of my savings.

and that $500 i got for graduation for half of a laptop i was going to buy... uh yeah that disappeared way long ago.. say around graduation.. and no it wasn't spent on a new laptop...

and now.. since my mom lost my job i agreed to try to pay rent by paying one of the smaller house payment things and its it $200 which is extremely good and i didn't have a problem with paying that.. but now i do. since i am poor.... i just spent this paycheck on part of my credit card bill that i want to pay off... cause i don't think its really worth it... cause really its just fucking me over... but its nice to have...

oh and tonight i dropped this metal pan, most likely the size and weight of a goddamn sink!! and yes it is swollen and starting to bruise...

to top it off... i lost insurance, also because my mother was fired... i am unable to go to the doctor... because i can't afford to!!!

now people... i think some should agree i should be digging through trash...

oh... i don't have gas... or gas money...

isn't that wonderful...

there... enjoy

Hey can we talk on xanga?? I really don't get this site!! It's too hard!! lol! Just call me if you want...

Hello Hello, Kori, AKA, Tatertot here! I'm totally new to this thing, so if my Phusebox is like really ugly...that's why! It took me like forever just to find out how to do this!! Yep that's sad! And I thought xanga was a little hard to ketchup to! lol! Well I'm trying to get this thing goin' so I'll TTYL...whoever looks at this site...
<33TaTeRtOt

I've been drafted to cos-play at MTAC as a charecter from Final Fantasy. Translation: My friend John wants me to dress up as a femal charecter from a video game/movie for a convention. My choice is difficult so I'm bringing in you folks to help me.

Tifa Lockheart: Final Fantasy VII (and in Advent Children)

Tifa is one of the central charecters. In VII she ran a bar and kicked some mega butt, she did the same in a much more modest costume in Advent Children. Tifa is a heck of a fighter, using her fists and feet instead of a weapon. She is a very outspoken, motherly, and has the personalaty of someone whose been there.

Renoa Heartilly: Final Fantasy VIII

Renoa is very ouspoken, compassionate, and spirited, and a key charecter in the game she is quite ofthen the damsel-in-distress, but she manages to get the cute guy to come get her out of it or she does it herself. She helps prevent the takover of an evil sorceress and aquires the powers herself, but not by choice.

 Tifa kicking some but, this is the costume I plan on using.

 Rinoa is the one in the long blue duster, the other woman is her mom

this may come as a suprise to you but mr. delbridge had the coolest sub yesterday.......we had like 4 pages of work to do and turn in by the end of class and since i have him 4th period and have 3rd lunch.....the sub made a deal with us....as soon as you finish your work....you could leave.....so i finished like 10 minutes into 2nd lunch so i basically had 2 lunch periods yesterday......i think the subs name was Mr. McLoud or something like that.......well just thought i would tell all you people......

much love.....

alliemoe

i'm SO excited about my birthday!

so far it sounds like it's gonna be amazing! my weekend is PACKED - but it's all about me. hehehehe.

tonight... i think my boo is comin over. hehehe. so excited.

and tomorrow i'm chillin with my dad and my step-family. they ALWAYS celebrate birthdays at their house.
and tomorrow night i'm gonna see some close friends.

then sunday (my actual birthday) my mom and i are gonna go get a camera and go over to my sister's house for a party!

and sunday night, i'm gonna have dinner with everyone from work!! EVEN BRIDGET!!!!!

so.

thanks everyone for helping this birthday to be the best ever.

Quote of the day:

"Hey, that's funny. If you'd gone down more, you would've sucked less!"  -- Will Veale

(On Rachel's rummikub skills.)

So Patriot Parade, Outside!  I thought I was going to freeze to death.

However it was worth it to see the giant army guy dance and to hear almost the whole school sing Ridin Dirty... :)

Yes, I am yelling that because it is exciting.  Jonathan had suggested Google Calendar on his webpage, and in checking it out I found this really neat application called Google Desktop with all sorts of cool bells and whistles.  Check it out and let me know what you think!

Last night was the homecoming dance.....it was the best dance ever....they played alot of great songs and some that weren't so great...but who cares i had a fantasticc time....when i was leaving it was freezing cold and lightly raining....the traffic was terrible...terrible getting in and out...lol..........aftyer i was hanging out with 2 of my guy friends i went to hang out with a few girls from the socccer team we were acting really stupid....who cares though cause we were having fun!! lol......i gues that's all...leave messages and remarks

LoVe...

LB