selections from the email that in effect informed me that i got screwed

Dear Team 660,

I just want to say that you all did awesome at the tournament. If you didn't already know, we can the closet to beating the team that won our dividion than any other team they faced. I will apologize to you for not doing what I would consider my best during the tournament and really do wish we would have done better with the points.

For the difficulty news, Brandi, Patrick and Vile feel that we need a stronger team for Rhodes. Every MTSU team came out of our tournament with a losing record, and rhodes is 300 mor times as difficult to win as our tournament. They have decided to create a super team from people who scored the best at the tournament and were available to go. I want to know that I wish our team was going and it was not my idea to create a new team (honestly!).

The new attorneys will be me, Corey and Natalie (on both sides) and the witnesses will be Micah, Eric, Gina, Mallory and Daniel. We are not calling Haskins or Conmey but will be calling Adams and Cross on Plaintiff. So, our plaintiff witnesses are changing quite a bit. Again, thanks for all your hard work, and I can't to work with each one of you again. 

Sincerly and THANKS!!!
Jamie

well i guess i now have a free weekend....... gar

Well, I've been reading Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis, and in one part of it, he was talking about how we are supposed to live today like it's our last day because Christ told us such.  Well, it's something I've always struggled with - I want to plan for tomorrow, the next day, and every day after that what classes I'll take, what job I'll have, who I'll marry, how many kids I'll have, when I'll retire, where I'll live...I like to have some sense of certainty about it.
Well, something about how he said it must have struck (or would it be stricken there?) me differently from the other times I've read such things because I actually acted on it for about 40 seconds, which was long enough for me to recant what I said in my last post, plus take care of a few other things.  A lot can happen in 40 seconds, believe you me.  So yeah, Josh was right even before he said anything on the last post.  AND IT'S NOT MY IMPATIENCE.  Just wanted to use that disclaimer.  I'm blaming this one on God instead of me  ;)

Anyway, in less happy news, I was being a moron last night, as I am wont to do, and I was running down the hall (as we tend to do here) with a USB plug-in card for this guy's wireless mouse (I had stolen the card, then told the guy I was faster than him, which I was), so he was chasing me.  Well, in the middle of our hallway, for some stupid reason, the floor drops two steps, so there are two stairs on either side of this drop.  When I dropped (surprise, surprise), my knee made that poopy popping sound and I hit the ground hard, unleasing a torrential downpour of less-than-kind words about the floor's parentage.  Anyway, needless to say, my walking has once again been hindered.  Bah.

I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend. Here is the next quesiton to answer if you have a few minutes:

QUESTION 4:
If you could only keep one feature on PhuseBox, what would they be (and why)?

example of features include blogging, photo uploading, messaging, finding friends, the friend digest, groups, etc. Please do not request new features; there will be a time for that.

It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations.
 If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and itis illuminated.
 Once we control our capacity for love and happiness,the light has been turned on.
 
 -Sharon Salzberg-

so um im thinkin myspace...

http://www.myspace.com/cheeelsea_renae

So first off, I got some random creepy text message.

And then, I get on Phusebox and it looks like my account is deleted.

Then it turns out it's not really deleted...

But my wonderful username of SingAHappySong has somehow changed to re2111... but thankfully I could get in the new username with my old password. Hopefully I can change it back somehow.

But talk about creepy...

So, I got on Phusebox a few times today, which is not so rare, but when I just tried again, it appeared that my account was deleted! So I'm glad I have this second Phusebox... but this kinda worries me... I really hope that info isn't gone forever... I had a LOT of stuff on there. But I guess if it's all gone it's just all gone. So I guess I'll be UntilLater once again until further notice...

***UPDATE***

Ok, so when I looked at Anna's last entry where I had remarked and clicked on my SingAHappySong's profile pic my account appeared to still be there, but I can't seem to log into it, and something has been added to my name. How very strange indeed.

ya so i had to update to make HUNTER happy.....so ya i dont really have anything to talk about besides im over guys...and done with them for awhile.....but ya this weekend was full of drama! friday night- our highschool football team won 27-7 and then after the game me and my friends got in this big ole fight that got me in trouble....then saturday got in a fight with my ex bf......and saturday night i watched the stupid UT game which we completely got our butts kicked it....then sunday...my dad took me and laura on a "huntin" shopping spree....then i had a volleyball tournament....then i went to a bonfire/party.....and had a blast! geez.......stupid drama filled weekends are GAY!

342 Players had an youth rally in Flemingsburg, KY last night and I attended.  We were only scheduled to perform two skits, however, these skits were two hours apart.  Therefore, we had to wait for two hours for the next one to start.  Because we were already there, they asked us to be counselors for kids who probably had never heard of Jesus Christ before.  Well once the service started, we were already late by like 10 before the first band was done.  This signaled a very off schedule for the rest of the evening.

Well the first skit, which I was not in, started off very rough.  The kids would not be quiet so it was started four times.  After that, the message was spoken.  Now remember, this was for middle schoolers, the message was about how everyone was going to hell if they didn't accept Jesus Christ right then and turn their life around.  The guy kept saying the same thing over and over and went over his allotted time by like 20 minutes.  Then there was an invitation for like at least 30 minutes.  Now, the preacher was crying and calling out other kids that were crying and telling them they needed to talk to a counselor.  The problem with that is that many kids who came back were just scared they were going to hell.  They didn't know anything about God or Jesus or anything...it was all about going to hell and they were terrified.

By the time this was over, they had an intermission but it was already like 2.5 hours into the rally and the second half hadn't started.  Allie and I were just waiting to do our skit when the second half started.  However, the organizer came over and said they were cutting our skit that was only about 3 minutes and went on next.  So Marla, our fearless leader, decided we should leave, so we did.  Afterwards, I was told that the organizer came back and apologized to the BCM for coming so far and not getting to do everything.

So basically, Allie and I didn't get to do our skit and all of us attending were not very happy at the way it was run.  We sat for about 2.5 hours after the first skit for nothing.  Granted, a few of the couselors really got a good talk with some of the kids but overall this rally was a bust. 

I was really disappointed.

Thanksgiving (for Brian) Day Eve Eve: Tuesday, November 21

Thanksgiving (for Brian) Day Eve: Wednesday, November 22

Thanksgiving (for Brian) Day: Thursday, November 23

Brian's Birthweek Eve Eve: Friday, November 24

Brian's Birthweek Eve: Saturday, November 25

The First Day of Brian: Sunday, November 26

Brian's Birthday Eve Eve: Monday, November 27

Brian's Birthday Eve: Tuesday, November 28

Brian's Most Glorious Date of Birth: Wednesday, November 29

The Fifth Day of Brian: Thursday, November 30

The Sixth Day of Brian: Friday, December 1

The Seventh Day of Brian: Saturday, December 2

Post-Birthweek Celebration: Sunday, December 3

. . .

Be prepared.

There have been a lot of changes in my life
lately and I kind of welcome them. First off, I am once again seeing another
person. I refuse to call it going out because the term has degenerated down to
the elementary school level; therefore, I am saying 'seeing', which is not
to be confused with an open relationship. The amazing part is that I
finally found a girl that holds true to my abnormally high standards: pure and
Christian (believe it or not that is hard to find now a days). I figured five
months is a clear go ahead on the "I'm over you" gossip line without
having the "He is using her" attached to it, which without a doubt
will still exist but to no avail in the reality domain.

My sister has returned home; I am told is a good thing. Personally, I think she
is cockier than ever now that she has gone through some basic drills and
hand-to-hand combat, but she is mistaken if she thinks she is the only one who
has been training all summer.

I have severely cut back on my hours at work for the moment because I have no
time to myself. I was going to quit entirely but I gave in to my boss and I
said that I would work Saturday mornings.

I have noticed that I have grown by leaps and bounds academically, physically,
and emotionally, though I am sure there still will be faults here and there. I
have finally made all A's! Isn't that amazing!? I, a male, have conquered all
challenges.... Well, that is how I see it, though I am sure Sarah will make
some smart-ass comment that will deflate my head and make my self-esteem lower
again.... *shakes fist* SARAHHH!!! But then again, everyone needs to have a
kick in the go-nads from time to time just to be kept in line.

Three years ago I had an energy for Jesus I thought I wouldn't lose.

Two years ago I was going through a depression I thought wouldn't end.

One year ago I realized that though my faithfullness to God had paid off, the energy I had for Him had almost stopped.

It's so hard to see the world as I saw it at 17.

I was almost in tears as I drove to Panera Bread with Mom last night.

God doesn't change, this I know.

It is I that changed, and I love Him so much, but I cannot figure out why I'm having such a hard time being on fire for Him again.

I know He is faithful. He has led me this far, and He continues to.

I really used to feel like I was a light for Him.

Now I don't.

I want to be a light.

God it feels like years since Iv last been on here...i think since I got out of school. Its kinda nice. Lots of new changes. Hard to get back into this seeing its been almost a year but its all good. Ill get it just need some new friends and comments and shiz and yall get me on the real..he im so lame. Peace.

i feel like writing tonight..
"look after you" by the fray is playing just about as loud as i can get it..
i put a frozen pizza in the oven.
and its just me.
just me tonight.
ive been thinking a lot today. about a million things

i got a letter from chicago - im accepted and in the running for the merit scholarship(full ride)..how insane is that?...im still looking at memphis col. of art...and knoxville

and am i good enough? is there some way that i can make art that really touches people. i dont want to be like every artist that says that their art is a reflection of themselves- finding out who they are.. making some sort of statement. no. i want all i do to move people. i want jesus to flow into every stroke on the canvas. i want to make the kind of art that, just like the powerful pushing and pulling of a violinists notes on his violin, pierce the very soul within... the holy spirit can move in music and if he chooses through a canvas too.. art that is me.. but is a shade of me that is covered in the assurance that my God is great. and that my God is the only source of true joy and beauty. he is what created everything before i even imagined creating something.

i am overwhelmed by the darkness of this world. i feel like there is nothing i can do sometimes..but then, he just takes my hand and tells me that i dont have to worry because hes already taken care of it...

that whatever college i end up in... it will be the one that i was meant for..
its hard to trust but im doing my best...its just alot to think about. my whole life is changing. people i thought i could love have forgotten me, my dad started a new job, high school is over on may the seventh. .. . i guess, i could be honest and say that im scared to death but at the same time im so excited..
i better go check on that pizza..
-kels

Someone who reads this pray for me. I've spent a good part of the weekend trying to study for a big math test I have on Tuesday, and I feel like I'm just pounding my head against a brick wall. It just doesn't seem to be sinking in. Math does not come easy to me, and at this point I'm about ready to give up!

So we go to get our family pictures today, it was quite fun. My family and I made a pyramid in one of our pictures. I'll post them as soon as we get the pictures back. We are about crazy when it comes to pictures. Well I'll talk to you all later. Adios. 

So life seems pretty uneventful for me right now, but on the other hand all of my friend's lives seem to be going pretty well. 

I am genuinely happy for you and you guys know who you are.

Maybe my turn will be soon.

You would think that for the good of mankind they wouldn't have a Monday morning quite so often ....

Had a good weekend and Stela arrived on Sunday. For the weekend .... did the usual massages, eating out, clubbing, resting.  Never got to do any of the work I brought home ... YEAH !!!

Sunday AM, bright and early at 7/8 am Decy took off for the airport to get Stela.  I couldn't wake up.  Apparently my alarm (phone) was beeping and vibrating and eventually just fell off the end table ... I never heard it.  Stela arrived with Decy about 1PM ... we chatted, relaxed, showed Stela the house.  I swam for a few minutes.

Nat Simpson came over, we chatted about work and stuff ... then all of us did Karaoke until 10pm.

I'm getting old.  My back is in quite a bit of pain ... I think from sitting at the computer at work too much.  I will put a back brace in my chair at work (I have one). Don't know what I can do about the home set up.

I'm taking Tuesday off .... tonight (Monday) is CJ's grand re-opening (following a major remodelling).  CJ's is probably Jakarta's nicest club (out of a city of 20 million). We like it a lot ... and the 9 person band (from S. Africa, Colombia, Canada, and Indonesia) is fantastic.  We know most of the folks by name ....  Anyway, tonight Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child was going to join the band for the evening.  Unfortunately, we received a call from the manager last night ... Kelly cancelled.  REASON - On Saturday some idiot partially blew himself up with a small homemade bomb while at an A&W fast food place at a mall on the far east of town (a long way from CJ's).  So, that hit the press .... and she cancelled.

Funny thing about the "bomber" ... sounds like he wasn't too smart ... just a little bit of gun powder and some buck shot  in a box ... attached to a handphone.  Apparently he was in A&W ... with the bomb on his lap, and the phone rang.  Press says he's at the hospital getting the buckshot cleaned out of his groin area ... OUCH.

Now, back to CJ's, the party is still on ... they are bringing in a very famous Indonesian singer (so I'm told).  We shall see ... I'll let you know ... but don't expect a blog at my 430 in the morning on Tuesday.

ciao ciao

so my dad made his famous cheese quesadillas and fajitas.

ughhhhh.
i've never felt so fat in my life.
but it was soooooooooo good.
i'm allowed a "pig out" day every now and then. =]

last nights "surprise" birthday party was...AMAZING.
i saw one of my best friends for the first time in about 6 months.
he walked in and my EXACT words were "oh my god. he's actually here."

haha, yeah, it was so much fun. =]

i love my friends.
thanks to you guys who came.
it really meant a lot.
topped off an AMAZING 16th birthday.

love you all,
[becca]

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, AmaroK, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button


Opening Credits: Guns-n-Roses (Sweet Child of Mine)


Waking Up: 3 Doors Down (Superman)

First Day At School: Guns-n-Roses (Welcome to the Jungle)

Falling in Love: Alaina Grace (Black Roses Red)

Fight Song: Three Days Grace (Animal I Have Become)

Breaking up:  Evanescence (Lithium)

Prom:  Eric Clapton (Wonderful Tonight)

Life's OK:  Eric Clapton (White Room)

Mental Breakdown:  Daily Planet (Six String Rocketeer)


Driving:  Rascal Flatts (Me and My Gang)

Flashback:  Dina Carter (Once Upon A December)


Getting Back Together: Three Days Grace (I Hate Everything About You)

Wedding: RENT (Without You) *It's a little slow, but it's sooo sweet*

Birth of Child: RENT (Seasons of Love)


Final Battle: Trapt (Headstrong)


Death Scene: Guns-n-Roses (Knockin' On Heavens' Door)

Funeral Song:  The Eagles (Sad Cafe)

End Credits: Journey (Send Her My Love[Roses Nevr Fade])

What do Ya'll think? Her name is Katie. She is so cute. I'll keep ya'll updated on us.

Yeah, I'm not sure why I'm up this late, but I am. I was in a cleaning
mood, so I guess that might be it. I did laundry and cleaned my room,
so I am being productive at 4 am.

Let's see, I got a new
goldfish the other day to be friends with the other one (Ludwig Van
Goldfish). I named the new one D'mitri Shastakofish. How fun! I have a
snail too, but I just call it Ma.

I got a tamagotchi last night
and it's so much fun! Everyone should get one. I can't wait to have
money to get new clothes, my closet is full old out of style
stuff...and tshirts. I don't have many casual stuff, which I'll be
wearing when I start teaching at the Collierville Music Academy.

I'm
so excited about teaching, there is nothing that brings me greater joy
than teaching the horn, something I love, to other people, so that they
may love it as well. I'm probably going to have around 5 or 6 kids to
start off. I'm hoping that at the end of the semester I can do a little
CMA horn studio recital and be all like "Hi parents, this is what I've
done to your children" and have something quite nice for them.

So
thanks to Sr. Dan, I have lots of stuff to practice this week, which
makes me happy because it will encourage me to go in my practice room.
Sometimes I feel like I don't cut it as a performance major, and then
other times I do. I know when I work on this stuff, and work on it
everyday like I negect doing, I will become much better at my
instrument, meaning I'll become a better performer. Yay!

I'm so excited about the new music theory books, I can't tell everyone that enough. I love them.

am i really so disgusting that you can't even answer?
am i infecting your mind, plaguing your peace with cancer?
am i salt in the wound that i failed to inflict
saying words, doing actions you failed to predict
to the charge of innocence, i'm guilty at best
go ahead sir, take me away with the rest
for i am one of the many, you people enslave
crying out every night, for those you never forgave..

will you open your eyes to what i've laid down
will you ponder my offer, before you turn it to ground
will you see me not for who i am, but who i want to be
a soldier for God, pushing for us to be free...

alright Miss "No response", i think that i've had it
despite all compliments you've ignored me, so stab it
forget my offer, like some kind of ode to demon born
a villian of troy, a traitor bred to be scorn
yeah forget me now, though i'd be a very good friend
someone made to be loyal, and stick strong till the end
the offer is gone, it's been burnt up in flames
and by morning, day break, i'll have forgotten your name

please open your eyes friends, nothing is sound
please see the world as it is, not the excuses we've found
stick to your human values, and follow what dreams you know,
because life is short, and you only have one life to do so.
---------------------
may the world sleep in peace tonight
if even for personal reasons...
i fear that by day break, the chaos continues
as quick as the change of the seasons...

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, AmaroK, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button


Opening Credits: Good Charlotte-Hold on


Waking Up: Lupe Fiasco - Pen & The Needles


First Day At School: Benny Benassi - Sweet Dreams


Falling in Love: Justin Timberlake - Sexy Back


Fight Song: Lester Flatt, Earl Scruggs-The Ballard Of Jed Clampett


Breaking up: Chris Young-Drinkin' Me Lonely


Prom: Notorious B.I.G. - Big Papa


Life's OK: David Bowie-Space Oddity


Mental Breakdown: Queen-I Want To Break Free


Driving: Johnny Cash - I've Been Everywhere


Flashback: Flyleaf-I'm So Sick


Getting Back Together: Blink 182 - She likes me for me


Wedding: U2-Vertigo


Birth of Child: Garth Brooks-Wrapped Up In You


Final Battle: Beck - Loser


Death Scene: James Taylor-Fire And Rain


Funeral Song: Michael Jackson-Beat It


End Credits: The Killers-Mr. Brightside

so the number 1 album on the Billboard top 200 is............................................tehehe......





















Soundtrack







Hannah Montana



HANNAH MONTANA!!!!!!!!!!

and I am thoroughly amused by that because it's the first soundtrack to ever be number one and i know it was probably mostly 12 year olds that bought it.....and yes i am one of those 12 year olds....and its a really good cd.  and I think I'm probably the only one who cares but that's ok....cuz i have my own little world and its fun!! 

and.......24 (season 6) STARTS ON JANUARY 7TH!! 

and....nathan....i love the pretty colors on here!!  and thanks for the hot pink!!

so i haven't touched this stupid thing in like... two months.
maybe i'll go check out the whole 'myspace scene.'
maybe i'm not that bored.

That's Right 100 Friends @ Approx 11:15 P.M. C.S.T.

Nice to see you again.

about not eating

I'm a little happier now that I get to see my aunt Shelly  tonight. She is just so hilarious. Her husband is from England and He's just straight up cool. Well I'll Talk to all y'all later. 

just kiddin... 

Broken hearts are what give us
strength and understanding and compassion.
 A heart never broken is pristine and
sterile and has most assuredly never known the joy of loving someone enough to feel great pain when they are gone.

Yes I do.

Is anyone else as excited as I am about Christmas?!!!

Here are my two reasons why....

so guess who's finally happy again?!?!?

I had lost faith in you

And I could see that you were losing it too

I tried to hold on

But you just kept getting farther away

 

I saw you today

And that faith was renewed

I was able to stop the feud

Inside myself

 

I see that I still have you

And I know that youll be there for me

Even when it seems ive lost you

Youll come back.

You know that Im here for you

I will do all I can to make things better

How bout I write you another letter?

Theres one for every day of the week

And this is what it says

 

I need you today

I missed you today

Don’t stray too far

And come back to me

So, I've been giving a lot of thought to my music major status. Where will a
music major get me in life? I could teach private lessons, I could teach at a
school, I could play in professionally bands. That's about it.

I am going to be a music minister in a church some day (that's what God has
called me to do). Yes, I need to know music, but do I need to know it as
extensively as a music major does? Wouldn't a minor suffice? I do go to a music
minor instead of major then what would my major be? I've always enjoyed the
sciences, and I like math (not as much, but I enjoy it). I want something in
the computer field, but Lee doesn't seem to offer courses for that. I feel that
I should stay at Lee though, so I will pick a major they do offer. So where
does that leave me? I've spent hours going through Lee's book that talks about
all the majors and minors and the requirements and what they prepare you for. I
have to make a decision soon. Registration is on its way fast. I'm nervous.
What if I mess up? What if I pick something and struggle financially for the
rest of my life because it was a bad decision. Or what if I hate my job once
I'm done here? What if I completely miss God's plan because I'm to deaf to hear
it. I have to make a decision soon.... I'm nervous.
---------------EDIT---------------
I just located some computer-type majors. I'm REALLY interested in those. I'm researching them now.

Paige and I broke up about a week and a half ago.  It may as well have been around a month ago, because that's when things went cold and were in a state of life support rather than total death.  Anyway, I had originally resolved to win her back, but, being me, I thought about it for a long time.  I finally came to terms with the fact that we're not suited for one another and likely never will be.  At first, this thought irritated the stew out of me, but I've come to realize that it is the correct course of action.

Anyway, I made up my mind once and for all to give up on Paige and move on.  I told a friend of mine, Allison, shortly thereafter, and we were talking when another friend of mine, named Brittany, more or less asked me out.  Scared the poop out of me.  I've never been asked out before.  I had had thoughts about something like this with her, but because of my relationship with Paige hadn't pursued anything (makes sense, right?).  I told Brittany that, if she could wait until January, then we'd try it out.  She said she could wait, so we're waiting.

I just think it's weird that within an hour of deciding to move on, this lands in my lap.  So, Josh and Liz, I've got a new girl for you to meet.  Liz, I think you'll like her better than the last one.  ;)

This week Can't get much worse. I hate life right now. It's all good. Life is just a little difficult for me and I need your prayers. It's just really complicated how this week has gone for me. I've gotten into some stuff that a 17 year old shouldn't be doing. Please pray for me I would really appreciate it. Thank you. TTYL. 

bored!!!!!!!!!!

I have several I just wondered what some of you guys were .

when i got home from work last night, nathan noticed puinea gig was acting differnt. so we brought her back downstairs and she looked pretty sick. and over the course of the next few hours she started getting worse. she was not moving, and not eating and let me tell you this guinea pig loves to eat! we went to the store to get some medicine, i read could help their stomachs (her tummy was upset) and we gave her that and some water by the dropper too. and it wasn't looking good. and when sophia got sick last month, my mom came over with an iv to help get her hydtrated. so, nathan being brave, gave puinea gig fluids. she seemed to perk up a little... but started getting worse again. we were up until about 1:30 last night, and finally went to bed.

puinea gig was a good guinea pig. all of her "wree wrees" will be missed. she was the best guinea pig.

Gotta love those days when your parents cuss you out for something that you didn't even know you were doing wrong.

He'll probably apologize tomorrow.  He always does whenever he does something particularly asshole-ish.

WWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Leslie's staying over and were just being crazy. AT 2 IN THE MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I totally got a tamagotchi today and it's so much fun...the games online and the passwords for toys make me laugh, haha.

100 things about me


001: Real Name - Tiffany

002. Nickname(s) - dunno

003. Single or taken - Single..

004. Zodiac Sign - Capricorn

005. Male or Female - female

006. Elementary School – which one? (k-1 – Lakewood, 2-Edison, 3-4 Bobby Ray,
4-5 College street, 5 New Union)

007. Favorite Color – depends

008. How many buddies on your aim? Not a lot…only people I know

09. Screen name – if you know me you know it…if not email or message me and
then I might give it to you

010. Hair Color - blonde

011. long or short - long

014. Eye Color - brown

015. Are you health freak- usually

016. Height – 5-6

017. Do you have a crush on someone- kinda…

018. Do you like yourself - usually

020. Think you're awesome - sometimes

021. Piercings – two (ears only)

022. Tattoos – nope

023. Righty or Lefty - righty


___Your 'Firsts'___


024. Surgery – when I was a baby

025. First piercing – night before preschool grad.

026. First best friend – not sure how to answer that

028. First Sport You Joined - running

029. First pet – Jesman (black lab, husky, and German Shepard mix)

030. First vacation – I dunno

031. First Concert- Barney ( I was three)

032. First Car- a tonka toy truck


___Currently___

049. Eating - nothing

050. I'm drinking - water

051. Thinking about - stuff

052. I'm about to – go read a book

053. Listening to - music

055. Waiting For - tommorrow

057. Wearing – a red soccer shirt, jeans, and socks



___Your Future__

058. Want Kids? – dunno yet

059. Want to Get Married? – not sure either

060. Careers in Mind: neonatologist


__Which is better with the opposite sex?__

068. Lips or Eyes? eyes

069. Hugs or Kisses – a little of both

070. Shorter or Taller – taller, but its not a big deal

072. Romantic, Spontaneous – a little bit of both

073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms - stomach

074. Sensitive or Loud – sensitive, but able to be loud at times too

075. Hook-up or Relationship - relationship

076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? – in the middle


___Have you ever___

078. Kissed a Stranger - no

079. Drank bubbles - no

080. Lost glasses/contacts - sunglasses

081. Ran Away From home – no

082. Broken any bones – yep a bunch

084. Broken Someone's Heart – don’t think so

085. Been Arrested – yeah…at a fall festival for charity

086. Turned Someone Down - no

087. Cried When Someone Died – yep

088. Cried at work - no


___Do You Believe In___

089. Yourself – most of the time

090. Miracles - yep

091. Love at first sight – not sure

094. Magic – prolly not

095. Heaven – OF COURSE

096. Santa Clause - maybe

097. Sex on the first date – NEVER INA MILLION YEARS

098. Kissing on the First Date – prolly not

099. Angels – yep

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There one person you would give anything to be with right now? Not anything

Stupid EMC candidacy. Why is it so difficult to sign up for one little class you requested permission to be in two weeks ago? I hope this is all just because someone didn't realize that there were honors students registering today. Maybe they'll let me sign up for TV production on Monday. I hope so, because that's the only class I absolutely need to take next semester. I don't care much about my other classes as long as I have TV production.

And stupid astronomy. My lecture teacher is making our class way too difficult. And when I look at this man on MTSU Review, just to see if I overlooked something, the people in his previous classes gave him good reviews and received good grades. And when everyone in my class bombs a test, he acts surprised, like he doesn't understand and that it's never happened to him before. It's like... just because someone slapped the word "honors" in front of the class name, he decided to turn an intro astronomy course into astrophysics. But apparently Higgins usually teaches the honors section, and when he does he understands that honors does not necessarily mean "flipping genuises".

But I digress, there is good news!
-I am healthy and well.
-I am doing quite well in all my other classes.
-My creative juices are flowing more as I think about different videos I can make.
-The Switchfoot concert is coming up!
-And I have found unusual comfort in the book of Ecclesiastes (you know, the one where Soloman moans and groans like I just did up there?) Here it is (in case you need it too):
What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. -Ecclesiastes 3:9-12

Outside of the multiple unnecessary painful events of the week, life has gotten rather mundane. I'm ready for a change....

Passing out twice and winning Most Intellectual, all in one day?

Pretty random.

Today has been an OREO kind of day.

Buy me OREOs and I will love you forever....

running out of miracles
and losing my mind too...
i wish i could feel complete
but the feeling won't come through..

they're running round in circles
and on their way back again..
i wish i could explain myself
but can't find the place to begin....

the world is on it's knees, grasping for eternity
would someone please get me outta here.......

pick me up and stretch me out again
take me home, my only friend
ask the same old questions
still have no answers
i'm clawing at my memory's cancers
i'm telling you there must be something wrong..

in this town, i'm nobody
but yet still someone too...
i got the familiar face, you can't place,
yet signal's still coming through..

it seems the impossible's
not as improbable as it seems...
just one steps difference from
reality and all your dreams..

this world is full of pain, begging for more of it's acid rain
would someone please get me outta here.....

pick me up and stretch me out again
take me home, my only friend
ask the same old questions
that don't have any answers
i'm clawing at my memory's cancers
i'm tell you there must be something wrong...

take all you like, and do what you want
take all the lies, and make them truth
and take all the pain, and make it cease
lets make this world a better place

pick me up and stretch me out again
take me home, my only friend
ask the same old questions
to get no new answers
clawing at my memory's cancers
i'm telling you there must be something wrong...

ok, so i think i'm going to start posting on here more often. maybe. haha. um, i got some cool pictures to put up, i'll try posting them right now even though i'm not on my computer.

have ya'll seen that commercial for the website that allows you to access your work PC from your home PC. kinda scary. it's like a hackers dream if you ask me. thats basically all it is. oh well.

i'm going home this weekend. first time in like 2 months. when you live with a group of guys and then your on a sports team with them and what not. you start to do everything together. and your like a family. the rowing team is litteraly like a second family to me. which is nice, but after a while i need a break. i mean it's cool hanging out with them, but i can tell with the guys in my apartment, we need somewhat of a break from each other. thanksgiving will be good. but i'm still coming home today.

i was going to skip my math class and come home early, but i couldnt. my conscience(sp) wouldnt let me. lol

this is the boat that won the biggest race in the nation this past weekend. pretty freaking awesome.

this one is kinda blury, but thats us carrying the boat down. like our socks? we got them right before we got ready to go out. they were awesome.

here's a picture of the teams. but thats only half of them. there were over 1200 boats entered in the competition.

ok, i'm done

piece

so i was thinking a lot this morning when i was getting ready. i was thinking about God's faithfulness.

have you ever noticed that most the time when God promises you something or calls you somewhere, there is that point in that journey where you are all alone? just you and God's promise or calling?

before nathan and i started dating God kept promising me things and kept telling me to wait. and in this process i got to a point where nobody believed in it any more. i was all alone, just me and God's promise. and obviously, He was faithful. and back my senior year, God told me to walk away from a friendship because He said He had bigger plans for me. and once again, i was alone, just His calling and me. and once agian He was faithful.

i think faith is an interesting thing. sometimes that is all you have. just that faith-- the hope in something that has yet to happen. and trusting in something bigger than yourself. and that doesn't mean it is easy, because it isn't. it is hard when you are alone in something you believe in with all your heart... but that is all part of the journey and learning to rely on God alone.

God is faithful. even when we are faithless.

i am not really sure why this thought came to mind this morning, but i feel somewhere in my heart i need to know this again.

God is faithful.

Yep You Read it i will not be eating untill sat. @ 8:00 Pm

I appreciate everyone's feedback from yesterday's question. I would like to remind everyone of a couple things though. When I set out to create PhuseBox, I did so with a couple "principles" in mind:

1. Be Innovative
2. Design Matters

Those two points drove the creation of PhuseBox and will drive the future of PhuseBox. I wanted to be an improvement over other social sites, not a copy. I could very easily make a replica of mySpace.com or some other social network site... but what would be the point? PhuseBox is all about being different, being innovative, and not letting the site look really bad with color schemes and massive image backgrounds that hurt your eyes when you try to read the text.

Also, I will be asking your opinions on what you would improve at a later date... so there will be time for that, but for now... today's question:

QUESTION 4
What do you mainly use to read other user's blogs: The Friend Digest or Visiting the User's Blog Page?

So, lately I have been doing some thinking.... I normally dont like to think.
The other day I was really, really bored and no one was on gtalk to talk to, so I sat on my bed and thought. I thought about how I miss the days of having friends that would call to tell me they were bored.. or having friends that I could call and tell them I was bored. I loved those calls bc normally it meant I was going to their house or they would come here and just watch tv or we would put a movie in. No planning needed. Just a call. Or really just a text asking if I was home, then a few mins later the door bell would ring and there was my friend! I loved it!
I also miss the random calls that either didnt last long or lasted an hour or so just checking in and seeing what is up. I also had friends that would call bc they needed to talk about something, and once they were done that was it.

I miss not having to plan things with friends... just letting it happen. Now I dont really do a whole lot... we will occationally go to dinner, or to a movie, or the mall if we are not too busy, but it is a totally new group of friends. When we decide to do something it seems like it has to be planned out, bc someone might not be able to go, or we have to wait for me or someone else to get off work. I havent had someone over for a movie night in a long time! The last night that was sort of like the old days was the other day when Kenneth and Paul were hanging out and I started to watch tv with them then Kenneth asked me to make a cake and I did! Just like the old time! We would want a cake or cookies and I would start baking! I love it! I miss it!

I do love my new friends though! They are so much fun to be with! And they can make me go from having a horrible day to the best day! Even though they make fun of me more than my old friends did! They are awesome!
I love baking for them even more than I did the old group! They get more excited when I bake!


So, I miss the old days, but at the same time I love the new days!

I had to get the thoughts out....

mock trial raped tonight. i just wanted to cry and all i was doing was keeping time. the people who need the most work are those who won't admit that they need work. some old creepy man was trying to pick up the girls on our team. he wink at sarah. he only smiled at me. if he would have wink i might have made an objection from the timekeepers bench....lol.... yeah he was that scary. i'm so tired and i have to do my rules test. my room smells funny. i think kim and i have used too much hairspray recently. i need sleep and i have to be up and at it bright and early tomorrow. bleh. mk ENOUGH for now.........Good night

So tonight I showed up again for our second intramural game, and again Gracie and I were the only 2 there for our team. And so again, we forfeited and then took our team off the roster and joined in with another who needed a couple more, so that worked out good. So we just played for the heck of it against the team we had to forfeit. That went pretty well. I got slammed pretty hard in the ankle, but nothing too awful. Then the new team we joined played DZT, one the girls' greek clubs here. Pretty sure they played extremely unfair, but at least they played hard for once. However, here's the fun part. With about 4 minutes left in the game a girl went to score. The ball went up in the air, she went for, my team's goalie went for it, and I went for it. We were all apparently trying to knee it and so knees hit. My knee got caught between theirs, which were hitting at pretty good force. Something in my knee made a nasty popping noise and felt like it moved and I ended up on the floor. The ref had to come straighten it out and help me of the floor. I can usually take some pretty good kicks, but wow did it hurt. My knee is now propped up with ice on it and what do you know, it's swelling and bruising. But on the brightside, we won! So that was my good thing of the week, along with a couple more bad.  

Hey Everyone i am going to be going to bed soon but whateva.... sry i have not been on here in a while i have been really bizy wit school and everything..... I am so happy because My MOMMY IS COMING HOME TOMORROOWWW!!!!! YAYAY!!!

Okay well i gues i will talk to you later

LuV YA'S Bye

Emily

Beat This

where do you think we come from? humans in general

 *guh*

I GOT MY BRACES OFF!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOT! i'm so excited...my teefs' is so pretty! but seriously, it's really nice to have them off. i mean, i've had them since 8th grade. but dag yo....my gums are swollen. they hurt like crap.

so this morning, i decided that i will never again set foot inside the IHOP on Old Fort Pkwy. today after i got my braces off we went there. so this really tall, muscular, and quite intimidating dude seats us. and he starts talking, asks us what cameron's name is, asks if he is in kindergarten, and if he likes his P.E. teacher, since this dude was apparently a P.E. teacher before. (wonder why he got fired?) in other words, being totally intrusive when we're just trying to have breakfast. so then, when mom tells this dude that cam is homeschooled, he's all,  "Well, why? He needs to interact with other children." and starts acting insulted about it. then he tells cameron to look at him or he is going to take his crayons away, and then says something about positive reinforcement. all i could think is how badly i wanted to grab this guy by the huevos and spout a few racist remarks. i don't know if he had some sort of weird cultural upbringing thing going on, or if he was just nuts. but i really wanted to throw my coffee in his face. what the heck? he was being so freakin weird the whole rest of the time. whatev. so. in conclusion, don't go to the IHOP on Old Fort Pkwy. much love---Cari 

Yesterday was just another stressful day at the office.  So many challenges, so few resources.  Won't bore you with the details.

Stela, our friend from Angola, begins her vacation today (Fri).  She departs Angola today ... overnights in Johannesburg S. Africa ... leaves there Saturday PM ... arrives Jakarta on Sunday morning.  Stela will be with us about 2 weeks.  During that time, Decy will take her to Yjogakarta (I think I have spelled that wrong) and Surabaya .... two cities here on the island of Java.  I've never been to either place ... although the plan is for us to take Chris and Paul to Yjogakarta in December.

sorry this is short ... really nothing of interest yesterday .... ciao ciao

so there's this guy.....................

and he told me he liked me over the summer..........

to be continued.....

Memories, regret, hope, and love.

"Give Me Novacaine" - Green Day

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that’s alright
Jimmy says it's better than here,
I’ll tell you what

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Oh Novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensations overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

"Whatsername" - Green Day

Thought I ran into you down on the street
Then it turned out to only be a dream
I made a point to burn all of the photographs
She went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face but I can't recall the name
Now I wonder how whatsername has been

Seems that she disappeared without a trace
Did she ever marry old what's his face?
I made a point to burn all of the photographs
She went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face but I can't recall the name
Now I wonder how whatsername has been

Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
The regrets are useless
In my mind
She's in my head
I must confess
The regrets are useless
In my mind
She's in my head
From so long ago

(Go, Go, Go, Go..)

And in the darkest night
If my memory serves me right
I'll never turn back time
Forgetting you, but not the time.

[Part 4: Dearly beloved] - Jesus of Suburbia - by Green Day

Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse

"That's When I'll Stop Loving You" - 'N Sync

When winter comes in summer
When theres no more forever
Yeah, that's when I'll stop loving you

That's when I'll stop loving you
I'm sure you've heard these words before
And I know it's hard for you to trust them once more
You're afraid it all might end
And a broken heart is scared of breaking again
But you've gotta believe me
I'll never leave you
You'll never cry long as I am there
And I will always be there
You will never be without love

When winter comes in summer
When there's no more forever
When lies become the truth
Oh you know then baby,
That's when I'll stop lovin'
That's when I'll stop loving you

That's when I'll stop loving you yeah

As long as sunlight lights the sky
Light of love will be found in these eyes of mine (these eyes of mine)
And I will shine that light for you
You're the only one, I'll ever give this heart to
What I'm trying to say is, nothing will change this (ahh..)
There'll be no time you won't find me there (find me there)
Cause I will always be there
You will always have all my love

When winter comes in summer
When there's no more forever (yeah)
When lies become the truth (ohhhh)
Well you know then baby,
That's when I'll stop lovin'
That's when I'll stop loving you

That's when I'll stop loving you

And when this world doesn't turn anymore
When the stars all decide to stop shining
Til then I'm gonna to be by your side
Gonna be loving you forever
Every day of my life

Ohh..baby..

Well you know then baby
That's when I'll stop lovin'
That's when I'll stop lovin'

That's when I'll stop loving you

When winter comes in summer
When there's no more forever
When lies become the truth (truth... yeah)
Well you know then baby,
That's when I'll stop lovin'
That's when I'll stop loving you (ohh..)

When winter comes in summer (yeah)
When there's no more forever
When lies become the truth
That's when I'll stop loving (well you know then baby)
That's when I'll stop loving you

That's when I'll stop babe
I'll stop babe
Loving you

"This I Promise You" - 'N Sync

Ohh ohh...

When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you

Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...

Every song on here is one that has immense meaning to me.  I have memories and thoughts embedded in every word.  They make me cry and remember things that I will regret until I die.  I don't give a damn what people think about 'N Sync.  I like the music, no matter what else I listen to.  I always have and always will.  I will always remember the people I associated with these songs.  April, Karen, Trish, and Lindsey.  Love never fades, it just changes form.

A while back I wrote (on facebook) that I hadn’t found good sushi in New York yet, and I guess somewhere in the back on my mind I didn’t want to find good sushi.  You see, I love sushi in Murfreesboro.  I love going to Sakura with my dad and my sister (and sometimes Bethany and Jonathan and Matt) and getting the Las Vegas and Yum Yum Rolls.  I love the good conversation and the familiarity.  Good sushi = home and comfort; bad sushi = not home and discomfort. So I’ve only half-heartedly looked.

The last few weeks - months if I'm really honest- of my life have been a series of uncertainties mixed with a heavy dose of discontentment.  I have realized (again) how terrible I am at committing myself to anything for longer than a year.  It almost killed me just to get through college, and the last 2 years I traveled around most of the southeast just to escape.  And then I moved to China and then I moved back home and taught 8^th grade and then moved here.  One day a friend called me and asked me what exactly I was running from.  I’m sure I made up some excuse or probably attempted to justify my actions, but she was right.  I was running.

I guess, in a way, I’ve always been running.  I’m not sure what from – I’ve got a great family, the world’s best friends, a fantastic home church, etc.  To some girls (especially single 25-year-old girls) settling down is crucial.  And yes, one day soon I’ll probably want that.  But I’ll be the first to admit, the idea of doing the same thing every day for the rest of my life scares me.  And that’s not to say that owning a house and having a career and (yikes!) getting married means the adventures stop – I know this is totally untrue.  I just think I have a fear of monotony. I am a classic escapist.

I’ve known this for a long time, but haven’t really known what to do about it.  I’ve always been one to focus on what’s next, what adventure God’s going to bring me (or send me on) after this one.  While that’s not inherently bad, I forget to enjoy the moment.  I focus on the future so I don't have to think about the present. Some days I get so consumed with my job and my life (that’s surprisingly monotonous – oh, the irony) that I forget where I am.  I forget to look up.  I forget to be grateful that I got exactly what I asked for and I need to enjoy my stay in New York City while it lasts.

This morning I woke up and felt something was different – I was happy to be alive and happy to go to work.  I walked up the stairs from the subway and I just stopped.  Surrounded by metal and tall buildings and hordes of people with their own agendas, I was overjoyed.

 

“Be here now,” He whispered.

 

Today at work we ordered sushi for lunch.  And it was incredible.

God has taught me a good lesson this week.....

I love how things can get put into a new perspective. That has definetely happened in the last day or so.
This week has not been a very good week...actually it's been the worst week I've had in LONG time. Everything that could have gone wrong has. Here's just a bit of it....I tried to loft my bed on tuesday, it fell off ON me. We had to forfeit our first soccer game. Yesterday morning I fell OUT of the bed about 5 feet to the floor. I burnt myself on the straightner and lost a contact. After class I fell down about half of the staircase in the education building. I'm over my head in homework and observation hours and tests that keep coming, and all these deadlines are coming soon. This has just not been my week.

In the middle of all the chaos yesterday I started 30 hour famine, which is something a lot of us here on campus are doing this week. At first I didn't really want to, but had already signed up and figured I might as well. I decided since I was doing this I might as well read the book Fed Up about 30 hour famine. WOW, did it put things into perspective. I read some of the statistics on world hunger, and how many of those are children. It's ridiculous.

Here's an example: More than 840 million people in the world are malnourished. Of those 840, more than 153 million of those are children under the age of 5.

So, I've got about 5 hours left in this thing, and I have to admit it's hard. Nothing but water for 30 hours. But how many people out there go for DAYS like this? I can't even begin to imagine how horrible it would be to be in a situation like that.

So like I said,God showed me a lot. Yea, I fell out of the bed, but at least I have a bed to fall out of. And yes, I made a wonderful trip down the staircase that I wasn't too happy about taking, but at least I can afford to be going to college where I have the simple opportunity to fall down the stairs....

I'm really glad I did it now. God just really made me realize how much I have, how much we all have, that we don't even think twice about that some people would kill for. I'm blessed FAR beyond what I deserve!

If there was a business that did wedding videos what would be the most important quality of that company?

From years of observing organized, American Christian subculture, I assumed that being a follower of Christ meant participating in religiously charged political battles such as the fight to keep the 10 Commandments in public places and prayer in schools. When I looked at Jesus, He seemed more concerned with feeding the hungry. I assumed that Christianity was about stewardship campaigns to raise huge sums of cash to build large church buildings for people to attend so they can participate in a class that will teach them the five points to living a “better life.” Jesus said sell everything you have and give your money to the poor. I thought church was about making sure the choir sang well, the budget balanced, the sermons challenged but didn’t offend and always making the annual church hog-roast better than last year. I discovered that Jesus was more interested in defending the weak and marginalized. I could go on, because my box was quite full. As I unpacked the box, and stacked its contents up against the Jesus I rediscovered in scripture, I soon realized that God no longer fit in that box. He was so much more than, and nothing like, the religious ideology I had packaged Him with. And I discovered that I have so much more to learn, un-learn and re-learn about my faith.

I am not condemning political pursuits that seek to preserve the Christian history of our nation. Nor am I opposed to building churches and structures where believers gather for worship. And based upon my fondness for organization, I’m certainly in favor of a balanced budget in my church. Yet, as I stripped my faith down to its very core, I discovered significant differences in what was important to me compared to what was important to Jesus. But most disturbingly, I saw a vast difference between how He lived out His message compared to how I was living His message.

So I’m on a quest; a quest to unlearn my misconceptions about what being a follower of Jesus looks like; a quest to relearn everything I can about what and who Jesus cared about; and a quest to learn what was important to Him and what wasn’t. I no longer believe we are called to live a “religious” life. But rather, as followers of Jesus, I believe we are compelled to live a life that reflects the passions that were evident in His life, even if those passions don’t always align with the passions of organized religion. And what I’ve learned so far has convinced me that this journey has and will continue to change the way I think about my faith, and ultimately, how I live in response to the life of Jesus. Although I don’t know how God’s presence in my life will finally look at the end of this journey, I do know one thing: He’s not going to fit in my box anymore.

-Relevant Magazine

So I have learned that you can't plan to be friends... I don't even know if you can try... Maybe you can but I just don't know how to do it... I think I am socialy retarted... :(

Again, thanks for everyone's answers to the questions... I appreciate it and it will help me as I build the next version. Today's question may be a little tougher:

QUESTION 3:
If you could (or had) to drop one feature from PhuseBox, what would it be and why?

thanks!

Who are you? My soul rages within me to know your face, your name, your very being. Why have you been withheld from me for so long? Why have I not met you, or at least know that you are mine? I have patience in my Lord to bring me to you, but I need a light. I need a beacon from you to tell me I’m on my way to you. But the night is so dark and cold. The rocks pierce the hull of my heart like spears and are ever plentiful. How will I find my way to you? There are false paths that seem so inviting. But I know that their way is treacherous. Surely, my route is lined with peril at every turn on my way to you.

 

My God, I believe, but help my unbelief. I know she’s out there. But where… who… and when will you reveal her to me? Please my God and my Lord, take this pain from me. This anguish inside of me, only you can quench. Contend for me oh, Lord. My adversary hates me and preys on my weakness. Strengthen my hands for battle that I may fight for her all the days of my life. Raise her up with honor and bless the work of her hands as she tirelessly labors for your kingdom. My Lord, You are worthy. You are mighty in battle, and You are the sovereign Lord of my life. Bring me to her and guide my path. Be my shield and buckler about me, Oh God, as You navigate my way through the waters of uncertainty. Your way is good and Your love is whole. Be glorified in her life as well as mine. Be my life, my love, my joy, my contentment, and then, I will be ready for her. Until then, Blessed Savior, guide me by your merciful hand into fields of serenity surrounded by your grace. Prepare my table and may she sit beside me when you have filled my cup. Help me to serve her as You have served me, with Your life. Allow my shallow attempt at love echo all the more of You.

-Jeff

I don't understand a lot of things in life and this frustrates me greatly.  I don't understand why the longest relationship I've had is 7 months long.  I don't understand why people can't get over ex's.  I don't understand why people have to creep me out!  AHHH!  The stress of life.  I don't understand why I'm here right now.

Phusebox is much too conservitive.

i miss the business of marching season

i watch DCI vids all the time now and they make me feel so crappy and inadequate, but i LOVE LOVE LOVE them... ah why do i play the flute again??

i love you as much as i love marching band... *thinks*... maybe

-milly

So who thinks that we should have gotten out for the massive flooding in the english hallway?

i do. anyone else?....

interesting.

the parents threw a surprise party for me at church.
and pretty sure i already knew it was happening
because i pay attention to EVERYTHING.  haha.

but yeah, it was okay i guess.
considering i hate surprise birthday parties (this is my 2nd)

wow, what a birthday party.
but hey, whatever.




yeahhh..
[becca]

So here is some pretty cool song lyrics that i find myself repeating over in my head throughout my day. Just thought i would share some with you all. Some of it is from verses and others are choruses. You may recognize some of it, or all of it ; )


<< And he SET ME ON FIRE..
And I am BURNING ALIVE...
With this BRETH IN MY LUNGS..
I am COMING UNDONE >>
- David Crowder

I've had enough, of this freedom of the road
- Martin Sexton

I remeber the times we spent together on those drives
We had a million questions all about our lives
I wish you were here with me tonight
I remeber the days we spent together were not enough
And it used to feel like dreamin except we'd always wake up
Never thought that not having you here would hurt so much
Tonight i've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night i miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are holding you,
holding you,
holding you, tonight
-FM Static


A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one
I saw the world spin beneath you
And scatter like ice from the spoon
That was your womb
- Goo Goo Dolls

Late last night
I heard the screen door slide
And a big yellow taxi took my girl away
- Counting Crows

It's just a matter of time a few days ago
I saw you, you were fine
Remembering what you said
About the book you read
The one i got you
The Beginning of the End
Oh how we'd talk
For hours upon end
What I'd give
Just to do it again
But you're lying there
In this hospital bed
Won't you open your eyes
And let's talk once again
- Disciple

Sometimes, I feel the fear of
uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself
How much i'll let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
- Incubus

This is the United States of America.

Not the Separated States of the Republican and Democratic Parties.

oakland needs a young republicans club.

who seconds that?

edit-- apparantly chris seconded that. so i am now a card-carrying member. yay. =]

I know that people say, I do not beleive in God. I can't see how God could be real with all the things that go on in the world. I cant understand how God is at all active if he is even out there because I have never seen him.... Well these are questions that every person who is presented with the idea of a higher being has to answer. These are questions that still creep into the minds of even the firmest beleivers. But this God, if we choose to beleive exist, has placed this relationship in front of us. It is not by visible sight or by verbal words that he prooves he is real. He prooves he is real by the transformation he takes us through on the journey of life. When one has experienced the power of God in that way they have no choice but to acknowlege he is who he is..... I know that a lot of people have been burned by life and by religion. I do not pretend that all is well with what we see as religion, but I do claim that al must aswer the question of whether they beleive in God or not. And in my own personal journey i can not deny his presence. I know that sonds like a sunday school answer but it is the truth.... God has been real to me. I pray not that each person can in some way see God somwhere n their life because it breaks my heart knowing people have to deal with life and its crap without a relationship that has been so fulfilling to my own life. I wanst sooooo bad for others to love God and most of all ee that GOD DOES LOVE THEM!!!!! Don't look at religion. Look to see how God is real in your own specific life and the circimstances around you. He is there. I love each of you.

InHim,
Jonathan
1John 1:1-4

"Whoa!!!  That's weird!  According to my driver's license I wasn't born yesterday!"  ~Van ....on Reba......we like that show........

Our curtains (almost all sheers) arrived and were installed yesterday. They look really nice and lighten the house ... I love them.  BUT, the company has made us put up so much security/perimeter lighting around the outside of the house .... night time looks almost like day time.  Hmmm, its going to take a while for my body to adapt to sleeping in the "half light" ....

Got some news on the shipment ... it should land in Jakarta next week, maybe the 15th.  The company thinks they can deliver the items by 23/24 Nov (almost exactly my guess [1-Dec] back in June.  Of course, we shall see if they truly can clear customs in 1 week.  It takes 6-10 weeks in Angola !!!

ciao ciao

good job, guys. way to go.

sometimes i am embarassed to live here . . .

And it was like, "Great.  Now I have to come out of the closet with knickers on."  -- Austin Hitt

How ever would I survive my senior year without the kids at my lunch table?

(This is of course, a shameless shout-out to Rachel, Danny, Blake, Austin, and Autumn.)

last night was soooooooo much fun!!!!!!I went to a volleyball banquet and had an amazing time!!!!!!!We watched a video and had food and talked and stuff like that over our memories of the season and how fast it went by!!!It was awsome!!!!!

So last night was pretty much AMAZING!
You know why?  Monkey soccer, ladies and gentlemen, monkey soccer, in the rain, full contact.
Last
night a whole bunch of guys in our dorm went to one of the fields at
around midnight, and for two hours we played full contact monkey
soccer, in the cold rain, and it was so FREAKING AWESOME!!!
Basically, you dribble with your hands, and hit people, and slide around in the mud, and have a blast.
Haha, at one point, my RA just out of the blue ( I was nowhere near the ball) just TOOK ME OUT.
I
went flat on the ground, man it was a great hit.  And me, being a guy,
got up and was like "Jessi, that was so awesome!"  and laughed.  Yes,
hitting is.. fun?  It's a guy thing.
One problem: my shoulder is killing me right now.
At
the beginning of the night, I went towards the ball, and as i was, an
athletic black guy on our hall, Marquise, was coming too.  So I lowered
my body and basically tackled him at the knees.   When I did that, he
kind of rolled over on me, and somehow my shoulder got stuck in the
mud, or stretched, or something, but I heard a VERY loud sequence of
pops, kind of like those people you know who can seriously pop their
neck, in my shoulder.
I got up, it hurt, and I had that "my nerves
are tingly numbish, and I know this isn't that good.." I felt to make
sure it wasn't dislocated, it wasn't, otherwise I would have been in
instantaneous agony, so the adrenaline took over, and I went the rest
of the night hitting and being hit, having a blast.
It wasn't until
I took a shower, that the pain started to set in.  At one point last
night, I had A VERY sharp pain in my arm, so that I was like "OWW!" 
Paul can tell you.
and today it's gotten progressively worse.  So
yeah, it kind of sucks, I'll get it checked out, but it WAS SO WORTH
IT!  I hope we play again!
Comments anyone?  On the stupidity of male bravado?  Or just on.. how cool we are!!

I am pleased to see that Phusebox is much (how should I say?) cleaner than other sites of this nature. I really don't see the purpose in provocotive advertising other than taking advantage of a sinful nature for mere business. I'm glad to see quite a change of pace here. Looking forward to seeing where this site goes...

LOST

A few more words, I'm guaranteed to bust..
Would you please just say, What I want to hear??
Please calm your voice, know I speak sincere,
Will you check your pulse, know that I'm no threat...
In the back of your mind, I'm your safest bet
The blue collar prince, that you dream for most
But lets set these engines to cruise or coast..
accept your fate, like it's all you have to believe..

With an open palm, I'll stretch out to you
But what comes next is up to you..
will you go with me tonight?
cause it seems so good and it feels so right
please open your eyes to this flirting cause
this acting game is worth much applause..
i say all the words you long to hear..
but it's so not true, and still dangling on your ears..

just a few more minutes, please buy this lie
i can sail you rivers, and prove your dreams
in your deepest hopes and most violent screams
i am the the one you hate
and the one you long to love...

That was close.

There is just one matter to be resolved...

So today isn't looking much more promising than yesterday. In the 30 minutes I've been up I've managed to fall, not even gracefully just flat out fall, off of my bed, which made me wish i hadn't lofted it, burn my finger on the flat iron and lose a contact. But at least this morning I've been able to laugh at it all. I'm hoping and praying the rest of the day gets better...

And it hasn't....it's about 4 hours later and the day has not even come close to getting better. In fact, coming out of my last class I fell down the steps to add to the injuries. I just want the day to get better!

But only until Monday :-( He didn't get Recruiter's Assistant, so I'm going to be all lonely again soon. No fun. Still, It's nice to get to enjoy the time I can with him. He's changed a lot. I should have expected it. Anywho, he made it through basic safely and he's about to go get more training in another land far far away. Okay, North Carolina isn't exactly far far away, but you get my point.

Thanks for all the great response on the question yesterday. It really helps to hear what you guys have to say. And now... If you would take a few seconds to answer the following question:

QUESTION 2:
What feature do you use most or appreciate most on PhuseBox?

Sean thinks that i wasn't supporting him tonight when he needed it and he does need some support..

just like me. im broke, hes broke, hes so broke charges are being threated to be pressed... however you phrase it..

hes seriously worried that he is going to have to move back home and i think he is overreacting to all of this.. i don't know... its just.. not good...

everyone, especially me is under some super stress and we are all penniless and depressed..

but luckily we still have each other. and things will work out. i have devised a plan. (:

me + politics...... need i say more?

o joy expect a blog tomorrow.... and how bout corker played a brooks and dunn song as he entered for his victory speech? lol... amazing        

question of the day: what is the difference between love and hate?

Herschels asked me to marry him...and I said yes. I'M GETTING MARRIED!

so tonite was the soccer banquet.
i realized i didnt want to leave these people
but i also know that i need to get away from tennessee out into the world
i need to experience things.
i cant stay sheltered my whole life.
i need to move away from my parents
away from the rest of my family
away from my normality
into somthing new
unknown.
we'll see what the future brings.
now im  going to sleep. haha
night.

I don't know why I am typing this.....I just feel I should.

It is so so so important to remember who we represent every second of every minute of everyday.....God. God has called us to be the shining lights in the world of darkness that we live in. As Christians we must remember that we are constantly being watched by those who are looking and searching for something greater than they are. We must always remember that they are watching us to see how Christians act and behave. When we do completely wrong things as "Christians" they are completely repelled and even some believe that if "Christians" do it then it's "okay" for them to do it.

We aren't perfect. No one can be perfect all the time. We are going to make mistakes but the important realization that needs to occur is that we can fix our mistakes so they don't happen again. Whether other people see what you do when no one else is around doesn't matter.....HE sees what you do. And He has told us that one day we will account for those actions and decisions we made. God has given us a life to bless others and bring them to Him. Why waste it doing things that are not uplifting and pleasing to God? If you claim to be a Christian.....act like it......not half of the time but all of the time....

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." [Matthew 5:16]