This is written partially in response to a note posted by a friend of
mine, so if anything seems slightly disjointed or a bit random, that is
the reason for it.

Churches find themselves in a pretty pickle sometimes. They find themselves fighting every direction because of differences in opinion and "needs" of different ages. Old people want to sing "How Great Thou Art" and nothing else, while the hooligans dispersed through the congregation want "Shout Unto God" and "Song of the Redeemed." When all is said and done, someone always feels as though they haven't been engaged. They feel as though the church is ignoring their "needs," not doing things in a certain way that best involves them.

To put it simply, good for the Church.

I enjoy "Shout Unto God" as much as the next hormone-laden college kid, but when "Joyful, Joyful" (or "Your Grace Is Enough" or anything upbeat and catchy, just so I'm not cracking on just the oldies J) is played in Sunday worship, my response isn't dissatisfied or irritated. It is worship to God.

For once, the problem is less with most churches than it is with the Church. People go to church looking to be engaged, excited, whatever else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being engaged, excited, not even a problem with whatever else. It's when that is the desire, the reason for going into the church.

A Believer, simply put, is not going to go into a local body and find identity and purpose if their reason for going into the body is to find identity and purpose. They are sorely misled, and strongly diverted from the right track. Seeking after God's heart should be the true focus of a Believer going into a church. When a person finds the right focus on Jesus in their heart, the identity and purpose will be added to them. It isn't a matter of us knowing who we are so that we can focus properly on our purpose and Jesus. Jesus IS our purpose and our identity. If He isn't our goal, the rest will fall to shambles. If a church is preaching the
TRUTH of Jesus Christ in a responsible manner, and spreading that Truth further is their goal, then an issue of identity and purpose lies not
with the church, but with the Christ Follower in question.

A reformation is a burning desire in the heart of many of God's Children, and in God's heart too as He wants none to perish, and to that end, Christ Followers should mobilize strongly in an effort to spread Truth. Setting goals like a billion people, is, unfortunately, quite
foolhardy. Now, should we reach a billion (heck, we should reach 6.5
billion!) people with the Word? My goodness, yes. Setting goals on the
work of the Holy Spirit, unfortunately, comes across as arrogant and
presumptuous on the part of those organizing the efforts.

Church is a family. It is a place to worship an incredible, sovereign God. It is NOT an event, an obligation, or a building. The Church is the Bride of Christ. As Christ Followers, the Church is life, and to live is
Christ. Do we all need to buck up and apply what we learn? Yeah, we do. THAT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY. It is not that of Dean, Jerel, Fritz, Belle Aire, AO, RUF, or any other minister or ministry. OURS. The great commission is to Believers in general, not to simply to churches or organizations (though they are a great conduit for accomplishing it more efficiently and on a grander scale).

I'm not intentionally stepping on anyone's toes, but there is a selfish attitude aloof in the Church that needs to stop. The Church is about the identity of Jesus and God's purpose, not who we are or where we're going. That said, what should concern us the most is simple. We are at all times a witness for Christ and need to live like it. If that takes debating a point of morality (yeah, I said it), putting yourself in between an attacker and a victim, opening a door, or flat out speaking the Gospel of Christ, we need to reach everyone we know and make sure that we can be held blameless for their knowledge or ignorance of Truth.

Its just Thursday .... best part about yesterday is that I gave one of the many presentations I am working on.  Scratch that one off the list.

They both suck.

So in the last couple days a couple of exciting things have happened.

1. This Friday I'm headed to Mt. Juliet to work at Easter Seals which is a special education camp for the weekend. They have Respite Weekends once a month in which about 20 campers with disabilites come and participate in all kinds of activities and such that relate to the month's theme. This month is New Years. I'm working this weekend as a volunteered with an older staff memeber, but if I prove to be any good and I'm comfortable starting next month I'll be on staff with campers of my own. It's something I'll get to do once a month and could turn into a summer job. It's supposed to be an awesome camp that will give me a lot of experience so I'm really looking foward to it. But pray for me! I'm really nervous about the whole thing. I'm really worried I won't be that great at it, but God worked it out for me so I'm beliving something good will come of it.

2. The other exciting thing. We have Dorm Wars in February here on campus. I'm one of the 7 on the team for Davis Hall. It's going to REALLY take me out of my comfort zone but I can't wait!

So yea. God's been opening some really exciting but really scary doors for me the last couple days!

I need at least three girls who are avaliable tomorrow and Friday afternoon. I wouldn't necessarily need y'all on both of these days, but it would be great if you were avaliable just in case. Anyhow, this is all for making a contest to make a Dove commercial. The winner will have their commercial aired during the Academy Awards, which is pretty cool. I don't really have my hopes up about it, but it would be fun to make nontheless. So anyhow, let me know if you're interested. Sorry, boys can't be in the commercial... Dove may not be happy with having boys in a commercial about "real women"...

**EDIT** Mmm... yeah this probably won't happen... unless three of y'all are suddenly filled with ectasy about it and I come with a brilliant idea. I have been so focused all day on a discussion with friends, which I wrote an intense Facebook note so I haven't had much time to brainstorm. It brings up an interesting possibility of something to try out in the future though... Anyhow, I should also start thinking about MTSU's film festival this spring, I REALLY want to do something with it...

This post is about three things.

1. 24 hours until I'll be on the road.  I'll actually be on the road in less than that time, but I know that within that time, I will actually be driving "east" on I-40 back to Cookeville.  Hooray!

2. 24, Season 6, will be premiering on Sunday with a double-header.  Then, on Monday, there will be TWO MORE EPISODES!  Holy cow, I won't be sleeping.  For those of you not already into 24 (which is most of you reading this, I'd wager), you may not want to start with season 6.  Find the older seasons on DVD and catch up; it'll be better for you in the long run.

3. 24 hours until I'll be on the road!  And 24 returns this weekend!

TIHS IS TEH BES THTING EVEr!!11!??


So, now that I'm finished with my channeling of Connie, I say goodbye until tomorrow.

Well, I"m back at Lee, it feels pretty good.  Our retreat thingy for hype was pretty sweet, but what I think was cooler was the meeting I just had with the other floor leader and our chaplain about what we're doing in the dorm this semester for HYPE.  It's going to be awesome.  I definitely believe that my prayers for this semester are going to be answered.

That and classes start tomorrow.  Cool, I guess? 
O, and for spring break I'm going to IRELAND!!!!!!
SAAAAWWEEEEEEEEEET!!
And um... I spent WAY less on books than I thought I'd have to.

I guess that's the important stuff.  God is awesome, looking forward to a year of breakthrough.
Yep :-)

First blog, fun stuff.  My username (and name as far as phusebox is concerned) is Jak Barnes.  Actually that really isn't my name.  You see, there have been reports of potential and current employers that would actually go far enough to google your own name to find out information.  So, Jak Barnes is my alias.  My name, if you must know, is the initials of Jak Barnes, and just the initials.  Co-workers call me James Bond, I guess I really can't complain about that nickname, I've had worse.  Anyway, someone recommended phusebox to me a while ago and I just thought I would give it a shot, so here goes, on with my tuesday. 

Tuesday started just as any other day would.  I woke up, took a shower, ate a couple of slices of cold leftover supreme works pizza for breakfast, and off to work I went, fighting the traffic filled with homicidal behavoired drivers, such a tranquility.  Work is boring, I sit in a cubicle all day moving money around, so to save mine and your sanity, I'll skip the part about work.  For the past few days, I've been stopping by my mom's house to lay flooring, so tonight after work I rewarded myself by taking in a hockey game.  I went to the game by myself, which I like better in a way.  I didn't used to.  In the past, I would never go by myself, I had my hockey buddy to always go with me, he was my dad. Between now and then I don't have a dad anymore.  So now I go by myself.  Sure it's lonely but it's also peaceful in a way.  So I sat back enjoying my newly born tradition of eating ice cream while watching hockey, and we won.  Now I'm here, back home in my apartment, ready to sleep and start another day at work. 

i hate wanting something that is totally out of my control.

Far away by Nickelback

He will carry me by Mark Shultz

I surrender to you by Jeremy Camp

My Desire by Jeremy Camp

so far this is all.....

each one of these songs speak into my life... each time i listen to them i remember all of the things i have gone through and where i am today and how i got there!

well, i have a car now.

that is about the only profound thing I have too say..Yesterday, i had to present an english project, that i didn't have. so I'm now clinging to the hope, that i can do it late..hopeless?

i had this dream, i was in heaven, but heaven was my Grandma's house. and i woke up, and was so confused, because it truely felt like i was dead..

well, god bless.

but happy

and having a surprisingly good week

amazing. ( :

has anyone noticed how slow this week is going?

i'm tired of lying to myself and everyone else.
i'm not happy with the way things are right now.
and i know it sounds horrible...
but it's the truth.

Okayyyy.

I talked to the boy today about his language again. & we started arguing. well, the weird thing was, today, what shut him up & i think got him thinking, was not scripture. It was actually, something more simple. He told me he just liked to use those words because liked the passion behind them. And i told him, if you want to speak with the same passion, do it with your voice. not your words. you can state something, with no foul language, but STILL show as much passion for the subject by the tone in your voice. it's not that hard.

he understood.
& didn't cuss for the rest of the class. Now, who knows what all he said after that class. [it was only first block] but hey, it's a start right?

Anyways.

i have a test tomorrow over the first 4 chapters of frankenstein.. guess what chapter i'm on...

zero.

[thanks for all the help on my last blog<3<3<3]

peaceout.

Wednesday ... hmm, work is moving along.   I seem to be working on about 8 presentations at 1 time .... doing lots of typing in Powerpoint but don't really seem to be doing any work. Not quite sure how I am keeping each presentation straight in my mind ... nor how I keep the messages clear and crisp ... unique ... yet consistent ... but I will get there.  In the meantime, what I would really like to do (work-wise) is focus on our new 2007 activities rather than reporting our 2006 accomplishments and disappointments.  Oh well ... it all pays the same.

If working on all the presentations aren't enough, I am getting calls again from Angola.  Seems they have some modelling issues and they need help.  Don't know why they can't talk among themselves and sort it out.  I have been gone more than 4 months ... by now they should have figured out the model and its processes ... especially this particular issue .... if you use a "river rapids" scale ... this is only a Class 2 problem ... just a big ripple.

Beginning to think about vacation plans for 2007 ... I am carrying forward 13 days of vacation ... plus 25 days of new entitlement ... plus 4 travel days.  That's 42 business days ... or TWO MONTHS.  Once again, don't know how I can possibly use all my vacation.  In many ways, I just wish the company would buy a few weeks from me.

.... as you can see ... not really much to write about today.  And, yes, mom ... I do LOVE YOU ! he he he .....

ciao ciao 

Prepare for a completely useless commentary on whatever comes to my mind, the main purpose of which is to give me a way to avoid doing any real work in photography.

First on the menu, winter break.  Mine's been over for about a week, but my college friends are still out.  (Eff you guys, by the by.)  I'm still mopey though, because their break isn't going to last much longer and then it'll be a few months until they really have time to spare again.

Worse yet, I'm kind of stranded.  My car that I was so excited to have back?  Died after I'd been independently mobile for only two and a half days.  My dad's been giving me rides everywhere since Saturday afternoon.  Except my dad works all the time, so I can't just pop downstairs and ask him if he can run me out to the bookstore or Starbucks or something.  Basically, for the next god-knows-how-long stretch of time, I can get to school and back, to work and back, and that's it.

Grand, eh?

So now I"m sitting in photography listening to Gnarls Barkley and thinking about college applications.  I'm not looking forward to sharing a tiny space with a stranger next year.  I like to have lots of personal time.  I haven't had to share a room since I was six or seven years old.  This does not excite me.  But, alas.  So is life.

Speaking of photography, I think it's time for me to come up with a different system for choosing photographers to study every six weeks.  What do I do, you ask?  Well, I look at the list, pick a name I like, and head off to Google.  What has this gotten me thus far?

Imogen Cunningham.  Pretty cool stuff.  She does AMAZING portraits.  But she also has a bad habit of doing nudes of pasty wrinkly white people.  Overall, not a bad project.  It wasn't hard to find school appropriate material that was good.

The next name that I thought was interesting?

Robert Mapplethorpe.  Hah.  If you've ever seen any of his work before, I'm sure you either just started laughing or made a sour face.  If you asked me to summarize the themes of his work in just a phrase it would probably be "Whoo! GAY PORN!"

In my dad's words:
"Mapplethorpe?  Ooooooh, you're gonna get suspeeeendeeeeed...."

Something that I can say for Mapplethorpe that can't be said for Cunningham, though, is that at least Mapplethorpe takes pictures of hott people.  I mean, damn.  Some of these men are fiiiiiiine.  Finding good pictures hasnt' been the problem.  The problem is finding ones that are even close to school appropriate.  I think I've managed to find enough that are only mostly nude or covering the jiggly bits that most people find offensive to their delicate sensibilities.

Anywho.  What next?  Hmmmm...

I need to write something.  You know, besides posts online.  It's been a long time since I really put any effort into a paper and I haven't written creatively in god knows how long.  I really need to stretch the writing muscles in my brain.  I've always taken joy in writing and I'm proud of my abilities, but over the past year or so I've been scoring progressively lower on writing assignments.  I need to whip myself back into shape and practice more.

I would ask for ideas to write about, but I know that no matter what anyone suggested, I would never get around to writing it.

So I guess I've reached a stalemate with myself?

*shrug*

Well, I do believe I've wasted quite enough time.  The bell is going to ring any minute now.  I must go home and get ready for work... Damn Cookie Store.  I finally posted a big ol' note on the schedule board that says "Please Note: Sarah does not work Tuesdays!"

Rrrrr.  Oh well.

Ciao, y'all.

So I'm back at Lee and it is AMAZING! So much better than home. There are a couple people I'm gonna miss, but for the most part things are a lot better than they were 3 or 4 days ago. It's hard to explain. I mean I love everyone back home, and it's nice to see everyone once in a while, but I'm so much more content here. On another note, I have to go buy books. The one downside to college, classes.

As most of you don't know, I'm supposed to wear glasses or contacts. I have a pair of glasses I got in 8th grade but stopped wearing them partly because my dad had them in his pocket when we went on a ride at Dollywood a few years ago and they got squished, and partly because I just don't like them. I got contacts and was pretty good about wearing them, but one time when I ran out I failed to get them refilled. So now my eyes are worse and I went to the eye doctor yesterday for glasses since I can't afford contacts right now. There's too much to save up for! Luckily Jess went with me to help pick a pair that actually looked good on me. So yeah, I should be getting them friday or saturday. DON'T LAUGH AT ME OR ELSE!

I went to the church of my senior AP English teacher on Sunday. The church isn't affiliated with any denomination that I know of. They were intellectuals. We sang old hymns, but they weren't just dead words. When the pastor prayed, there was reverent silence. It wasn't that people didn't care or weren't "responding" to the Holy Spirit. They were just listening. The pastor spoke with intelligence and poise. By the end of the sermon, I was hoping he would stop so that my mind could catch up with him. I adored it.
The Sunday School was like a lecture at Lee, but in a good way. There were some laughs and such, but there was also hardcore study. The teacher opened with a quote from Shakespeare, analyzing it as an example of existentialism and humanism. I was delighted.

Sometimes it is nice to take a break from charisma. I enjoyed quietly singing words penned so long ago, letting them seep into my soul. I felt the Holy Spirit in the way he is often not thought of by Pentecostals: the Comforter... the Teacher. I was surrounded by Christian Intellectuals who believe very strongly that how one understands God greatly affects one's life as a Christian. The mind... The focus was on the mind as much as the soul. It was so refreshing.
I sometimes feel so alone, but now I know that there are whole churches made up of people like me. Thank God.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

Last night someone tried to break into our house.  I was so scared.  I was at home with my brother while my Mom was at work.  It was about 10:30.  I had a lot of lights on in the house, which strikes me as weird.  I wouldn't try and break into somebody's house if I saw lights on.  It was dead quiet because Matt was asleep and I was in the process of putting in a movie.  All of a sudden, I heard the glass door open, and someone try to open the front door which was locked.  The dogs immediately went to the door and started to bark.  It scared the crap out of me.  I immediately called my Mom at work and then called the sheriff.  When the sheriff arrived, He talked to me, looked around the outside of the house, and then drove around the neighborhood.  He told me he would have the neighborhood patrolled for the next couple of nights.  The dogs are probably what scared the attempting intruder away.  Hopefully it will never happen again.

Then we're getting really good at this game! Go us!

I'm pretty sure I'm getting my Januaryus Yicktitus, I get it every single year. Not fun, not fun at all. So I'm all sorts of doped up on cold medicine right now.

I've been pouring hot tea down my throat so much, I think I'll drown in it. And that's sad, I like herbal tea.

My room is totally wicked sweet amazing, I'm so happy. I'm almost done decorating, i just have to spray paint my bookshelf and dresser, get a few little bookshelves, paint those if needed, and get some more candle holders. It looks really cool right now so Yay Me! Maybe I'll get some photo paper and pritn out a few anime pics...

Yeah, pretty sure I need to go to bed.

Like always I was making a big deal out of nothing.

But I still can't look at either of my band directors in the eye and smile. Not yet.

I feel like I've crossed the line between teacher and friend with Mr. Way too much, so I'm laying back for awhile.

What have I learned from this?

1. The things I worry about are smaller than they seem.
2. Curiousity certainly does kill the cat.
3. I'd never make a good private investigator.
4. Asking before snooping is always a good choice.

I can see why they reacted the way they did. I mean, I could've stumbled upon personal information or classified information or anything. Luckily, I knew exactly where what I was looking for was located.

Thanks for your words of comfort.

Danny

You are looking at:

"Jennifer Luhrs, Dennmark" EconFin delegate for the 2007 Model UN conference at UTK.

no, i'm not a Prepatory dyke or a power lesbian, but this year im going to bring it.

hardcore.

i need to change something. anything. i'm just sick of the way things are.

maybe i'll rearrange my furniture. that always makes me feel better.

grr.

Hey y'all whats up?!? ntm here... im bored as can be!!! well im bored!!! ttyl

<3love<3
        candace

Even if my calendar didn't show it ... I can tell by the traffic.  Yesterday morning traffic to the office was very erratic and jerky ... it was clear that people were coming back from the holidays and hadn't yet gotten into the "groove" of driving.  Then last night .... there was an extra 15-20 minutes tacked on to the commute time.  I suspect this will continue to grow throughout the week ... and by next Monday a 1-1.5 hour (sometimes 2 hr) commute will be the normal.

*** And Rayshielda makes 3 ... huh?  what?  Well, that is what I think her name is.  On 2-January ... David and Anna had their second child .... which is now my third grandchild. Watch out Poppy ... I'm catching up fast !!!  I understand that mom and baby are doing fine.  They are over in Ungungpandang (Makassar) ... so we haven't seen the baby yet.  We will need to run (fly) over there sometime when things settle down.

Speaking of babymaking ... seems that our maid Wiwi is pregnant ... she is due in August (perhaps we haven't been working them hard enough).  Obviously that changes our plans a bit around the house ... however, we were wanting to hire a 3rd person for the house anyway (as we think the house and yard is too much work for 2 people; but, perhaps not) ... and had visited with Wiwi and Nunung about that in Nov/Dec.   We invited them to bring in one of their family members that they could work cooperatively with.

So, this past weekend "Sumi" a young lady joined our big happy family.  She's about the size of Wiwi (Chris and Paul can relate to that) but has probably an extra 3-4 pounds on her.

Decy gives the staff nicknames ... Wiwi is already short ... Nunung is called Nunu ... Mulyono is called Yono ... and Mustafa is called Stafa.  Now, Decy is calling Sumi ... Mimi ... the alternative was Susu ... but we clearly cannot use that ... Susu in Bahasa Indonesia slang means "breasts".

And for those folks that STILL want an email ... sorry ... not this morning ... BUT, I still and always LOVE YOU .... he he he ....

ciao ciao

If all goes according to plan, 72 hours from now, I will have been on the road for about an hour on my way back to school!

Hooray!

It's been just a little while since I last posted. 

Daniel very much enjoyed his second Christmas.  They practiced opening presents at daycare, so he was an expert by the time he had to do it for real.  Of course, he was much more interested in the wrapping than in the presents themselves.  Unfortunately, Daniel and I got sick on Christmas and stayed that way for about another week and a half.  (Josh's whole family was sick, but thankfully, everyone is doing much better!)

We still haven't celebrated with my family, since we were contagious when we had planned to visit.  We'll be going to see them this weekend, and I'll also be taking all three Praxis exams this weekend as well.  That should be fun!

Daniel and I got so spoiled having Josh home for so long.  He was off work from the Thursday before Christmas until the 3rd, so we got to spend so much time with him!  It was wonderful!  Daniel's gotten so much more snuggly with Josh over the vacation, and he was very sad to see Daddy go back to work.  We're all still having a great time on weekends, at least!

Yeah, it's time for an entry.

May 31, Fairpoint Communications will eliminate all of their specific location customer service employees. This includes roughly 30 people at GTCom, the phone company I work at.

Well, it also roughly includes me. That's the bad news. Now, the good news.

I'm getting paid well for taking this. Three weeks base pay (40 hours a week), plus another week for each full year I've been with the company (one)...and $3,000. Yeah, it's a pretty nice deal. It gets better.

The closure of the positions is entirely dependent on how quickly we transition to a new billing system. The current plan is to run bills on the old and new systems concurrently in March. If everything goes well, the new system will be in place in April and we'll be let go. With pay through May 31, plus the package. What does this mean to you, the blog reader?

...Bitches, it means I'm coming home. With that much money, I can move back to Murfreesboro and look for a job. Trust me, being local helps a ton in getting hired. Anywhere. So yeah.

May 31 or bust.

So i'm almost positive every highschool christian has come across this. because especially in today's time, it'd be impossible not to. well, i guess homeschooling, okay but that's besides the point.

Friday i was faced with the question of "well, society tells us it's a bad word, but is it a "bad word" or is it just a word that has extreme passion behind it that people make to be a bad word?"

Well, i gave the boy Ephesians 4:29 it says "Do not use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good & helpful , so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them"

... Then he goes back to the question and says "well i understand abusive words, but foul language, how do you know what's a bad word?.. just because society tells us it is. "

and i don't know.. it just really threw me off. it's like.. for the first time in my life i was actually speechless. i had nothing to say.

But then i asked him "well. would you say those words in front of God?".. that kind of shut him up.

but i think i need to know more before i talk to him tomorrow.

help?

Yes boys and girls, it is true. I finally figured out how to compress mine and Jolene's final video project from 1 GB to a size that MySpace is happy with and have uploaded it. You can either check it out on my MySpace (you can look me up if we aren't friends on there already) and I also put up the link as a posted item up on Facebook. On my MySpace I have also uploaded my first class project, "Timmy's Birthday". If you love me, you will check them out and leave me wonderful comments about them. ;-)

I'm looking forward to TV Production next semester...

And I'm starting to think that 12 hours will suffice for next semester. I'm on schedule and my summer class will help me stay on track. So here's to next semester... TV Production, two psych classes, and the honors seminar Creativity and Exploration... I hope it's good!

each of us are born on to this earth with a completely blank canvas. we hold the paints in our hands and we choose how the painting will look. everyday we have thousands of choices to make. small ones and huge ones that can effect the outcome of our painting. we can choose to float through life or we can choose to live life. we can choose to use our precious time here to make a difference. to touch many lives and leave behind sweet memories.

i think back to ellen. i am amazed at the legacy she left behind. she left beauty and God's love everywhere she went. you could see it on the faces of all who loved her. the same with bruce. and recently with my cousin, katie. she lived her life to the fullest. she got what it is all about. they all painted beautiful pieces of art with their lives.

i don't know about you, but i want mine to be a masterpiece.

Do not rejoice over me , my enemy;
When I fall, I will arise;
When I sit in darkness,
The LORD will be a light to me.
I will bear theindignation of the LORD,
Because I have sinned against Him,
Until He pleads my case
And executes justice for me.
He will bring me forth to the light;
I will see His righteousness.

Micah 7:8-9

Oh my word y'all there is nothing to do at my house! like everyone is sickin my house! UGH!!! 

Did you know that in some countries a calendar shows Monday being the first day of the week?  And, in some countries the weeks are shown in columns rather than rows, did you know that?  What does that have to do with my blog?  Well, actually not a whole lot other than the fact that today is already Monday ... and it seems that Monday ALWAYS follows Sunday ... just can't seem to get away from this vicious cycle.

The weekend went pretty much as planned.  Friday night, Decy and I went out to Club CJs.  They will be changing the band out at the end of January.  That is good, as much as I like the band, something new (if they are good) will be refreshing.

Saturday morning went for my 2 hour massage.  Thasya went to be with a friend for the day ... and later that day Chely met up with some friends, who ended up staying the night.  After the massage, there was the normal Nasi Padang at Sederhana and then off to Johnny Andrean to get a detox, cream bath / head massage, and hair cut.  By then it was 5pm, so we skipped going to the dept store named Sogo where I could use my ~$220 gift certificate.

Saturday night was quiet ... and I succeeded in getting Decy to watch "Fellowship of the Rings" (extended version).  She liked it !!! Sunday morning I worked from home (after taking a business call at 8am) and Decy/Thasya went to church .... about 2pm we turned on "Two Towers" ... and at 6pm continued with "Return of the King" .... all extended version ... So much for getting a good nights sleep. oh well.

Have much to do today, including attending a key Sr. Manager meeting at 730am.  Today is the first (theoretically) normal week of the year, many folks will be returning ... who knows what challenges the new year will bring.  I do know, that at least for today ... I have two presentations to finish writing.  Almost finished both yesterday (Sunday) but was interrupted by wanting to spend Sunday afternoon with Decy and the girls.

ciao ciao

wow.

his heart is amazing.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."

       --Thank you, Eleanor Roosevelt

YEs I know today is my Birthday. I wish all of you lucky enough to share a birthday with me a good one.      

    Thank you all who are kind enough to coment with Happy Birthday.

Better day today, though some tears fell last night and this morning.

I went to work being very bipolar: I'd smile for the customer and my friends one minute, and then turn around and get depressed.

Everything that happened yesterday feels like it was a dream.

On top of everything that happened, Mr. Jessup came up to Mr. Lawson during my lessons and let him see my Mid-state scores (the numerical results that started this whole catastrophe) and all I could do was be ashamed.

Not because I had bad scores. I had GREAT scores. I scored 176 out of 200 possible points. 57 out of 60 in sight-reading, meaning I almost had perfect.

Like I said, not because of the scores, but because my wanting to see those scores is the reason for everything wrong.

And during my lesson, Mr. Way came over and listened to me. I didn't even turn around when I heard his voice.

I'm like the little child who got caught in his parent's room with his hand in the candy bowl.

I don't really care to explain.

I know I said "BRING ON THE MISTAKES!", but I didn't mean it like this.

Danny

2 more days until I get back to Cleveland! I'm more than ready to get back. There's a couple things and people I'll miss, but for the most part I can't wait to get away from here!

Seahawks. 21.

cowboys 20.

  pretty sure bowling for soup is my new favorite band ever. 

Wow...I have time to write! It's not that I disregard phusebox it's just wow so much to do! How is everybody? Isn't our GOD AMAZING! GIVE HIM PRAISE TODAY! JESUS WE LOVE YOU! MAY YOU BE GLORIFIED THIS DAY!

Beks and i hit the dance floor last night. Super super fun.

I nbever realized how much trash we hadin middle tennessee.. What i saw last night was unbelievable. disgusting.. Girl;s grinding on girls dressed in nothing. People having sex on couches.

It makes me wonder what kind of places these girls grew up in.. and what theirself esteem level s are at. i would be curious to know.

The second a female even touches the dance floor about 6 trashy guys swarm.. They put their hands on you, as though they have some sort of claim to you. And the dignified girls in turn work their way away from the dance floor. The skank ones will grind on anything..
This is why men have such a degrading oppinion of women. We give it to them, through our behaviors.

So Beks and i stuck to the deserted disco floor. and danced the night away with the few cool dancers that passed our way.

Does anyone have Chris Madison's e-mail address? I need it por favor.

And somehow the hard drive got on my Mac got renamed... it went from... whatever the default is to 0. Strange... I'm not sure how that happened...

On a slightly (or vastly) different note, the Mississippi trip wasn't fun, but it wasn't as hard as last time... which isn't saying much. I don't think I could possibly convey to you the horrors of Alzheimer's. Nursing homes aren't fun either. My granddaddy lives in a dark, stuffy room, which he shares with another man who watches the news (can you say depressing?) and when he goes beyond his room he has to deal with the other residents, such as the woman who cries "mommy" without end. It's a sad place. I wouldn't wish that sort of life for anyone.

But life goes on.

And I still want to do a music video if anyone's interested. We only have like... one week... left until we go back to school! Ah! And I really want to pick up another class, but I can't seem to find anything that works my schedule or is interesting. Any suggestions?

Wow...well if I haven't talked to you in a while [cough, cough Austin] I hope you had a wonderful CHRISTmas and a happy new year. Call me on my cell phone when you get the chance on the weekend sometime. I would love to hear from you sometime extremely soon, Austin.

Breanna.

well i am bored.... just cleaned for a little bit... put my tear drop thing in my car and a air freasher in there too...i am looking for an itrip for my car too....also a steering wheel cover for it too.... i dont want anything stupid...and my cat is geting fat....but thats good cuz he was skinny...also he was/is an outside cat....so yeah... yeah i love my little car...yep now i am bored....lol later

meg

so i have a meeting at the news paper tomorow up in knoxville, and i'm... nervous. it'll be a new experience.

i hope this next semester goes great. after being home and getting to hang out with some old friends, that i need to get more involved with church, if not the one that i'm at, then i should probably find a different one. it's the friendships that i've made over the years that have really helped me and thats what i need at UT. it'll be good for me. i mean, i've made some great friends at school, but it's different.

but all in all, i think this next semester will be a blast as well.

i have to go back sooner than expected, but thats ok.

piece

a new leaf of the life has been turned to, i just could not help myself in too many things. love life and worshipping God, i just began to find myself hard to adjust to this new life. Recalling back the life one year ago, i was free, totally free, just could do anything i want. some people said that the moment we lost something, we are gaining something. sometimes i am asking, why am i now? why do i have to come to this point? is it because God doesn't love me any more? is it because God wants me to learn another lesson? or, is it because God has already forsaken me? i dont know. there is something i just could not understand, and i am very clear that i am changing, better or worse. who knows. i have told to God that i am willing to devoted myself to HIM, but i just could not touch HIM anymore. where are U, my Lord? have u left me? have u forgotten me? or , have u forsaken me?  God, i am a sinner, i am totally no better than anyone else, please, please, please, dont forsake me..................

So I got a new recording program set up, and I thought that that would fix the problems I've been having with sort of a delay in the recording.  I will play the next track along with the other recorded track, but it seems as though the computer takes too long to send through the signal, and it gets frustrating when recording.  Does this mean my computer is slow or does anyone know of a way I can fix it?  I've heard of others having problems with this also.

Yeah it's Friday and I have nothing to do.

My boredom is extensive, I've just sat down and created an entire photo shoot. Well almost, I'm just sort of waiting for a few ideas. Dunno if I'll use them for anything. I did have a REALLY good idea, it involves Amanda Ayers and a pair of silver heels, muahaha.

I supposed that's what I get for watching America's Next Top Model for two hours.

Okay. So bad day today.

I don't usually have bad days.

So I did something today that made Mr. Way upset with me.

Having someone upset with me makes me want to like huddle in the smallest corner I can find and cry my eyes out.

I'm not used to people being upset with me.

It hurts.

I apologized to the person who deserved the apology, but it's still affecting me.

The look on Mr. Way's face haunts me everytime I close me eyes.

I relive the situation over and over, and I don't know what to do.

And when I worked concessions today, the way Mr. Way looked at me made me feel like he didn't trust me with the money.

He's one of the most important people in my life, and I am disappointing to him. He knows that I know better than to do what I did.

He expects so much from me, and his standards are high, but I've done everything right so far, except today.

He hurt me today, and I hurt him in return, though not on purpose. In hurting him, I hurt myself, so every feeling is doubled.

I don't know what to do except wait for Monday.

Danny

God was at Passion. It was so awesome to see God moving in each person's heart and soul at Passion. I praise God that I was blessed to be a part of it. For those who did not get to go, i bring good news. Telling you to encourage you in your walk. God did amazing things at passion. Know and be glad that God's word went out in Atlanta and the body of Christ was challenged and uplifted. I know it is hard to get excited about something that happened in another state that you were not at but I pray that God will give you an excitement for your brohers and sisters who's lives were transformed by the almighty God! Be excited and praise God for what he did even if you were not ther. I love each of you and pray that God does amazing things in each of your lives in the upcoming year. Keep fighting the good fight of faith!

Your brother in Christ,
Jmo

Only 3 more days! Thank God!!

So, I'm out in my garage practicing, like a good little musician
does, while complaining about 6/8 time and my lack of understanding how
to play in triple meter, cuz I suck. I had not turned on my metronome
yet for I was just walking back out there from taking a bathroom break.
Randomly, my metronome turns on, and I freak for just a little bit,
turn it off, and say "Dennis Brain must be upset at me." Shortly after
saying this, it comes on again. I freak out some more and scream just a
little bit, cuz that's some crazy mess. I decide that Mr Brain doesn't
want me to suck anymore for today so I go back into my house, still
screaming, and the door was locked...not how I left it, so I freak
again. After freaking for about 10 minutes, here I am...freaked out
some more.

The end.

whoot....look at my profile pic....i am amazing...lol...just kidding

I forget how boring murfreesboro is...

im bored... i really dont have a lot to blab about... today was okay... i found out that i am four pounds under weight.... yeah sounds crazy but its true. oh well... i can get back to my "normal weight" whatever that is... i can gain weight by working out though and eating better. im not that concerned. i guess thats all for now

Why do seniors have to be at school for the second semester of the year?  I mean, really...

Every class today has been booooring beyond all belief.

I'm about ready to take a nap on the keyboard.

*sigh*  Another half hour and I get to go home!  Hooray!

*starts counting down*

I've got a secret, and tomorrow's going to be fun!

hey y'all! what's up?!? well tomorrow i have to go back to school! yippy! ugh! and i get to go to this behavior movie thing beacause i was a good little girl! that should be fun! it always is... you get to SKIP classes! FUNN! well like im not sure what else to write so i will ttyl!


<3love<3
                Candace

Sooo.
It was my first day back and well.. i'm proud to say it was not half as bad as i expected. it was actually.. great!

Except, just like i predicted, the class with all the juniors. but i discovered, I'm not meant to be in that algebra 2 class anyways. it's my weakest subject & especially with the teacher, i'd fail big time. So it is an honors class, and i'm going to have to drop to a standard class for like the first time everrrr. but i'd rather pass a standard class, than stress my face off & fail an honors class. so that's the decision i've come to.

If you've started back to school, i wish you good luck in your classes. :]

Well hello everyone! I know i only put out one blog since i joined so now i thought i would start doing it every day that i am on the computer...  alright so today i went to the new gym that i joined and i really enjoyed myself...i met a new friend there and he produces his own music...hoping to record with him sometime...that would be amazing! Other than going to the gym today i truly cant remember anything significant about my day before that...i was at the gym for 2-3 hours! After that i went to Brads parents house and ate spaghetti and now im just chillin on the computer. Well i love ya'll and have a good day                           Amanda

MY CAR IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i loveh my car... i have to get a steering wheel cover... but it's NICE!!!!! i am going to take pictures of it tomorrow...i love my car... lol so yeah.it was owned by the same gay guy that had justin's car....lol yeah well later

have you ever truly liked someone and you would do anything to be with them.... i reminded by a song by nickleback... Far away. the song says it all. anyways, i don't see how any human being can hold in their true feelings; you cant help how you feel about someone. is it worth it to stop at nothing to be with someone and to share your true feelings for someone... or will you go through this life wondering is it worth it, how can i express myself? go ahead... ask yourself! love is patient...kind...unselfish. what do you think?

Chris and Paul should be arriving home about now ... although I don't expect to hear from them right away.

As for me, really not much to write about. Work was a simple "ok" yesterday - not really great given that it was a cancelled vacation day.  However, Decy made it home safely ... and she and the girls and I shared lunch at the office on their way home from the airport.

This weekend will be a "return to normal" type of weekend.  I'll probably go to CJs tonight. I need to visit with Chris Millington, one of the lead singers, about a situation.  I think I will get a massage on Saturday. Plus, I received a 2 million rupiah ($220) gift card from the company - so I might spend that this weekend at a department store.  Also, I need a haircut - I have "wings" over my ears. >>> As you can see ... a pretty normal weekend.

... sorry this blog is so vanilla.  Guess having the boys gone has let some of the air out of my balloon.

ciao ciao

I'm here again for the second time this month trying to help out with my grandfather.

It gets tiring for my family to take shifts of who will stay with him at the hospital.

Cancer is a bitch. I hope that no one else that I know ever gets it. I think it's the worst thing to watch someone go through.

It's just too damned hard.

So I got some money for Christmas and was wanting to see some good movies that are already out on video and dvd. Im not a big movie buff so I dont know many good movies. Can anyone suggest any good movies ???? I really just wanna see some good movies. Thanks for your help. :)

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for...

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him...

By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country...

And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own...

Instead, they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them...

He persevered because he saw him who was invisible...

The world was not worthy of them...

God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect."

See Friday Oct. 13th......

yay that kinda day again

so i was in the hospital for seven stinkin hours.

they took care of everything. moved my septum over cleaned everything out.

and here's a funny story that me and my parents found out about

i broke my nose when i was little

yea. how do you not know? well .. we didn't

the doctor was like.. when we went up there and saw fracture lines where her nose had repaired. so that was a fun time.

but yea so i'm good and on oxycotton. so life's pretty peachy.

Life is a mess. 5 days and life will be a little simpler

I'm having a tremendous amount of difficulty proving or disproving the existence of God.  I personally blame carm.org's discussion boards, but then again, curiosity did kill the cat.

I almost forgot to tell you my funny story!

I was helping mom make dinner and in order to do so, I had to cut up some bacon. She drafted my friend Taylor into helping as well.

We were just standing there having issues with this bacon that really didn't want to get cut up. A few minutes into this and we're both really frustrated, so we start calling the bacon names. A few minutes later we're still having trouble, so I slam my knife down on the counter, point at the deceased pig and yell

 "I WISH YOU WERE EMO!!!" and Taylor starts rolling on the floor. She had also apparently heard the joke "I wish my grass was emo, that way it would cut its self," just like I had recently. So she got it and found it highly amusing.

The bacon was rather cooperative after that.

I just felt like being sentimental, plus what Elizabeth said made me go all thoughtfull for a minute.

Skitzo was great tonight. I was a Chinesse woman who wanted to cook an American turkey, ahhh the laughs. We couldn't get a thing done in practice we were laughing at each other so hard.

It was the first day back at school, I totally passed out in English. Just at random my body decides to go narcoleptic on me, and BOOM I'm out. Good thing I sit at the back of the class.

I need to get back in shape, I realized. I was chasing some kid down for tearing of with Karus's iPod, and afterwards I was so tired. Maybe I'll start running or something.

I'm so not stringing together a competent thought, all my paragraphs are at random.

Hooray for another random paragraph! I've discovered that while staying up till 1 in the morning may be fun, it'll kill you when you need to get up early.

I'm gonna go track down some food.

Humanity makes me cry.

Words cannot describe how bad i DO NOT want to go to school tomorrow.

My first block is a class with all freshman.
My second block is a class with all juniors.
My third block is a class with mostly seniors.
And my fourth block is a class with most of my friends.. but i haven't even done the summer reading yet. not cool.

I'm really not looking forward to second block, mostly because i'm not too fond of the juniors at our school. they are known for being snobby & slutty. [not judging. i've known them all long enough to say it's true.] not to mention.. they are all non christians. But i guess i can just use this as an opportunity to share Christ. .. yeah..  that's what i'll do.

But still...the Lord better get ready because there will probably be non-stop praying from me in that class.

On a good note, today was a pretty good day, spent some time with my mom. haven't seen her in about 3 weeks, so that was nice. Got a little shopping done, that's always nice. so yeah.

well, happy day before i got back to school day to all of you.

: /

I love the feeling of getting things done.  I was worried about signing up for classes today, and I had a couple of other things I wanted to do.  It was actually fun going and accomplishing them.  I.....

Got up and ran (I've tried to get up for it and will hopefully keep it going)
Took care of a hold I had on my school account (a paper I needed)
Seeing an advisor about the classes I needed to take
Declaring a music minor
Working on my room, and straightening it up

All in all I feel really accomplished.  Tomorrow I plan on

Finishing up my room
Signing up for classes
Hanging some posters up in my room
Finishing a song I've been working on.

I think I like this whole accomplishing small goals thing.  Anyone else agree?

P.S.  The office folk at MTSU are a lot nicer than I originally thought.  I had no problems with them today.  Woo hoo!

Not much to post about .... after 45 minutes of sleep on Tuesday night, I worked a full day ... no lunch ... but a nice "interruption" when Decy, Chely, Thasya, Chris, and Paul stopped by the office on the way to the airport - we shared breakfast ... and said a quick prayer before they continued onward.

As I write this blog the boys and Decy have just checked out of the hotel in Singapore and are on their way to the airport.  The boys plane leaves in 2.5 hours ... 1st stop ... China; 2nd stop Chicago.  Decy leaves Singapore about 10am and arrives around 11am ... maybe she will stop by the office (on the way home) for lunch.

Guess I am a bit of a "freak" .... last night I decided to watch the extended version of Return of the King ... finally got to bed at midnight ... alarm was going off at 345am ....

Josh has a very good blog about mankind and the nature of man.  Interestingly enough Chris and I visited on this subject just the other day.  I detest people lieing to me, deceiving me, cheating me.  And yet, I also know that for every person that cheats me ... there is one or more (at least I believe there is) that is genuine and sincere.  So, when a brother asks for help ... what do you do?  Do you help him or not?  What if he has deceived you?  What happens if two people ask you for help at almost the same time ... and you sense the first has just cheated you .... do you trust the second?  If you do ... does that make you a "sucker"?  What if a third then comes up to you? .... when you say "no" ... when do you say "yes" .... One should seek wisdom in these things ... and yet, wisdom in knowing when/how to trust man is so difficult ... because (for many) the hearts of men are black.

ciao ciao.

I thought this was pretty neat. Mark Shultz came up a lot thoug

f your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be? So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the Next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
7. Don't skip songs.

---Eh, sometimes repeat artists come up.... skip it or keep it. . .whatever

Opening Credits
"Before he Cheats" Carrie Underwood

Waking Up
"Pimpin' all over the world" Ludacris feat Bobby Valentino

First Day at School
"Beautiful Soul" Jesse Mcartney

Breaking up
"Complicated" Avril Lavigne

Happiness
"I have been there" Mark Shultz

Life's Okay
"Fergalicious" Fergie

Mental Breakdown
"Gallery" Mario Vasquez

Falling In Love
"Drowning" Backstreet Boys

Driving
"Far Away" Nickelback

Flashback
"Learn to let go" Mark Shultz


Getting Back Together
"You are my everything" 98 degrees

Wedding
"Crazy" KC and Jojo

Birth of a Child
"When you come home" Mark Shultz

Final Battle
"Hit em up style" Blue Cantrell

Death Scene
"Cloud of witnesses" Mark Shultz

Funeral Song
"Karma" Alicia Keys

So Long
"Irreplaceable" Beyonce

so in like ten minuets i'm leaving to go get sinus surgery. i'm a bit nervous.. but my stinking 5 year sinus problem will finally be fixed.

lets hope i just don't die. :]

I can almost hear Sebastian crying...

"My hard drive!  It hurts!  Why are you doing this to me?"

Tough love, my friends.

I was one of those people who was oh-so-smart enough to say, "Pffft... I don't need to keep this in my music library. It's on my iPod if I need it."  So I deleted stuff when I got it on the iPod.

Well guess what... Apple designed iPods so that music can only go on and be deleted, but not come back to the computer.  And there are songs on my iPod now that are not on my computer that I would like to be able to burn to CDs and such.

So how does the internet come into all of this?  Because about 45 seconds on Google got me to an article on how to manually find the music folder on your iPod and copy it to your desktop, and then of course, move it into iTunes.

I have learned my lesson.  I not mess with the music library no more.

(I did bookmark the article just in case, though.)

:edit:

Scratch that.  There is more music on my iPod than there is free space on my computer.  >_<

Doing this the free way isn't going to work. I might have to buy one of those $10 or $15 programs.

Or get the specific songs I want some other way.

*sigh*

::unedit::

In other news!  BRUCE IS BACK!  AGAIN!

My car tried to quit working on me.  Again.  Back in early October.  My aunt swapped cars with me and has off and on over the past three-ish months been trying to fix it.  Finally, she tracked down a friend of hers who was able to fix the last problem.

I now have a ghetto switch coming out of my steering column that turns my dashboard and my tail lights on and off.  Pretty sweet, eh?

life is full of complications,

it hits you with painful realizations,

you cant seem to escape the feelings,

you continue to look for the "hidden" meanings.

you want something for all you've got,

but then you find its something its not,

but then why do you still want it?

you still want to try it just for a bit.

no matter what your brain is telling you

your heart wont listen even though its true

hearts seem to have minds of their own

not believing what theyve been shown

it wants for some reason to be broken,

never to think love is only a token

something maybe some people arent meant to find

they walk throughout life forever blind.

never to know the caress of another,

to really connect with someone other

than yourself, and theyre dieing inside,

but noone sees how theyve cried.

people dont see behind that perfect mask

too wrapped up in their own lives to ask

you realize then your all alone,

ive stripped all my senses down to their bone.

life is whatever... jus dont know what to think anymore... so i say screw it all! people who dont know what they want, people who cant take a hint, people who cant mind their own business, people who force things on you, everything.

yeah whatever...

new family member. ^_^
we're thinkin bout namin her darla.

[[chase is jealous.]]

name suggestions pretty please?

well we got back to school tomorrow((ugh)) and i have to memorize the preamble of the constitution and i cant get it thro my head and i have to recite it tomorrow in front of the class and ugh its bugging me((we the people of the united sates, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility-thats all i got--half way tho-))
UGH well im going to go TRY to finish memorizing this!

ttyl


<3love<3
             Candace

So. God is up to something.

But when is He not?

For the first time ever, I do not feel led by my emotions.

I have felt a tugging to pray over this, and I still do.

I ask that you do too.

¹⁶Rejoice always, ¹⁷pray without ceasing, ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

I love 1 Th:16-18.

I have the joy deep within my heart and I don't think I have room enough to contain it.

*smiles*

I love You.

okay, so i haven't posted since last year. ;]

hmm..not much has changed.
i'm still dealing with a lot of stuff, but it's gotten a lot better.
umm..school is still a big worry in my life. especially when it comes to retarded biology and my sucky teacher (whom i dislike.)
everything else is okay..umm...i guess. i can't think of anything else.

my dad traded in his old firetruck for a car that me and my brother could use...it's an older car and all, but it runs pretty well and it'll get me from place to place while i'm saving up money and working for a new car...then my brother can have it.

uuummmmm...school tomorrow...ughhhhh. i really, really, really hate that. not looking forward to the constant stress to return. funfun. [not.]

i really miss my old friends..you know, the way they used to be. i was thinking about that today. it really upsets me how stupid people could drive someone so far away from themselves. ughhh. i could slap some people right now. lol.

i hung out with cherry today..that was fun..and interesting..lol. we talked about EVERYTHING. it felt good to talk to someone about everything that was going on when they're involved in the same exact situation. let's see...we went to starbucks, to the movies just to see that nothing good was playing, the mall, walmart and then back home...haha, she finally found someone who couldn't ride a bike either. ;] hahahaha. i love you girl.

but yeah, that's about it.
christmas was good, i got everything i wanted basically....umm, new years was fun... =] hehe.

well, yeah, i'm gonna go.
love you all,
[becca]

left in Murfreesboro, counting today. So technically 5 since this day is almost over. In some ways I'm ready to get back to Lee. But in a lot more, I'm not

R
Refined

I
Inspirational

C
Crazy

H
Humorous

A
Appreciative

R
Radical

D
Devious

check out my new pics...am i hot or what!

 My life is upside down. I am living with my friend mandie and her girlfriend. I am going through boyfriends like i go through sweets, pretty damn fast. I don't like it i miss all my friends from school so much and i haven't heard from any of them in several months. I dated a guy named michael it was a disaster he was a compulsive liar and i t drove me up the fucking wall. what am i to do.

Well, it looks like the internet is more or less fully functioning again from Indonesia into the US.  Read an article that 50% of all world-wide internet traffic is routed through Virginia ... which is why it was so easy to knock out 25% of the world ... And, I hadn't realized that Taiwan was a major hub for sub-sea fiber optics to the US ....

I will be working today and tomorrow ... and will be postponing 2 days vacation (plus carrying forward 10 days).  More importantly, today ... Decy will take Chris and Paul to Singapore.  They will overnight there and then catch an early morning flight to the US (Decy returns to Jakarta tomorrow).  The boys are having a challenging time grappling with the concept that they will leave Singapore on a Thursday morning ... fly for 24 hours ... and land in Chicago on THURSDAY MORNING ...  ah, the joys of world travel.

Overall, it has been a very good visit with the boys.  They have had an opportunity to see many aspects about Indonesia in general, our lives in Indonesia, and seeing me in a "non-vacation" environment (which they haven't seen in many years).  They've eaten at 5-star restaurants ... and they've eaten food from a street cafe.  They've frozen to death at 9,000 ft ... and sweated to death at the Christmas eve dinner.  They've ridden bajai's (bicycle taxis) and they've travelled around in our Fortuner with our driver.  They've gone to Dairy Queen and they've eaten Nasi Padang.  No doubt they (and we) have made many new memories ... and they will be coming back to the US with about 2,500 pic's to share with friends. I think this experience (especially at this age) now has helped the boys better understand why I do the things I do ... and why I am so intrigued about living in Asia.

Dear Ms. Stacy - RE Chris and his promise ... sometimes strange things happen and we don't always control the situation ... to whet your appetite ... ask Chris or Paul about New Years Eve at CJs and the young lady that tried to lip-lock Paul and then tweaked his nose ....

Last night the boys and I decided to watch as much of the Lord of the Rings trilogy as possible.  We started at 9pm.  We quit at 3am having completed only the first two movies.  I decided to "sleep in" until 430am ... so after cuddling up with Decy for a while and thinking about missing her on Wed night ... I picked up about 45 minutes sleep.  As for Chris & Paul ... not sure how much sleep they will get as they need to leave for the airport around 8am .... as for the boys, the sleeping issue actually will help them begin adjusting their body clocks.  As for me ... well, as Paul would say ... Dad, face it, you're a freak.

With that, I will close for now .... ciao ciao

so i'm two days late, but happy new year anyway.

My brother-in-law, sister, and my niece Katie all woke up really sick today and now I have Isabelle with me at my house so she isn't around the others.

Please keep them in your prayers.....especially Isabelle because she is so little and the most vulernable. Thankfully she isn't showing any signs of being sick but you never know.

Everyone should look at my new pictures. I wanted to try some make-up designs for fairies and my cousins were visiting. A plan brewed in my mind! They really enjoyed it, though. My friend Anna and my sister Christy joined in, too. Christy's was supposed to look like branches or roots, but it didn't really work out. I have a LOT more pictures, if anyone cares to see them.
I have realized that I cannot do regular make-up to save my life, but I really love doing stage make-up. I think the old age make-up is my favorite. If anyone wants to know what they will look like when they get old, let me know!

I was brushing my hair a minute ago and guess what I found!

No it wasn't a grey hair, it was a silver one. And halfway out of the root it went brown!!

Then I found a chunk of them that were grey to brown near the back of my head!!

 I feel so old! This is a relly bad way to start the new year.

P.S.- I didn't pull them out

"I am trusting You, to carry me the rest of the way

You alone are holy, You alone are just, You alone are worthy of all of my trust"

So many times we take things into our own hands and say we can do this on my own, or I can handle it. Instead why is our response not "I am trusting YOU my God." When things go bad and you think your the only one around we must put our faith in the one who is the only to put our faith in, Christ. The above song is a song that Wes Walters wrote and the lyrics have been so convicting for me. They say words that, to be completely honest, i cannot say at sometimes. That I am trusting You to carry me through thick and thin. I was getting prepared for some future worship things and i came upon this song and then a song entitled "Isaiah 43" this songs just pretty much says what isaiah said in the 43rd chapter of his book. That the Lord is near and that we have no need to fear becuase the Lord is there but we must zoom out and see that Christ is there.

"When you walk through the fire I will be with You

And the waves they will not overcome You

Do not fear for I have redeemed You

I have called You by name You are mine(2)"

So many times we just need to take the bold phrase. That Christ has redeemed us and that he will never leave our side. I love how the bible puts it, "Fear not, for I have redeemed You; I have summoned You by name, you are mine (v. 1b)"

What he is saying, in my oppinon, that why do we fear what things lie ahead we must put our faith in Christ and TRUST, but then we must not FEAR because he has redeemed us. Just a word of encouragement that, as scripture says, "He will not leave you, nor forsake You." - Deut. 31:6c

"I have made it oh so far

But not without You here

You have kept me for so long

So I will not fear"

                             -"I am Trusting You" (Wes Walters)

(1)=Isaiah 43