This is a survey for my ORCO class.  We are trying to create a weekend music festival on the campus of MTSU.  Please take the survey.  For you time, you will be entered to win a $10 gift card to iTunes. Thanks in advance for you cooperation.

Click here to take the survey

The Water Fairy: --*CREATIVE and SMART* You are shy around strangers but very talkative around friends and family so people often don't know the real you at first. You are artistic, imaginative and creative. You are kind and free-spirited and fairly ambitious. You love to dream and you (would) love to see the ocean. You may not be the greatest swimmer but you love water and fishies! You are very organised and like everything to be neat, tidy and in place.

      VS      

Predictions?  

Yeah LIFE is just SWELL....

Your the dying/bleeding angel! You have been betrayed and now you are lying in a pool of your own blood, begging for someone to save you. You hate life and everything in it. You've had so many people lie to you and your sick of it. You have no friends, nor do you want any, for your afraid the same thing will happen again. You love to walk around at night alone any you love to be alone.

Favorite color: Black and red.
Flower: A black rose
Your sweets: Anything is fine with you.
Animal: A bat.
Your number: 9
Element: Shadow<-- I made that up for her since I made the Scared/lonely angel have dark. Shadow is worse than dark, much worse.

damn, this makes me seem like i want to die.  but i like the pic, its just the details r a little sketchy

The Lonesome Wolf

You are basically a depressed person, you hate your life and feel that you deserve better. Self-conscious and prejudiced, you have been through one of the hardships of life: Rejection.




Your Quote: "I love sleep...my life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake."

Description: Your inner soul is very mellow. You're very laid back and pretty much enjoy life! You're quite an average person, you enjoy hanging out with your friends, but also making sure you're doing alright in school/work. You love to have fun and laugh, but you're also quiet at times and just like to soak in the pleasure of simple things. You have a pretty good life going on and if I were you, I wouldn't trade it for anything else :)

+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

Quote: Life is a bowl full of cherries
(unknown)

+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

Poem Verse:

Smile for me dear, dont get down
Catch yourself a rainbow
And stick it in your pocket
You can look at it any time you like
(Sean Hart)

+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

Symbol: A leaf (full of life)

+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

psyche conveys YOUR personality? (With Awesome Anime Pix)" - Results:

Depressed Type: Your anime personality is the Depressed Type. You come off as stone cold or careless, and people have trouble getting to know you. You don't let your guard down very often, and hardly ever let your real emotions show through. That would be a weakness. You're quiet and reserved, but are easily angered. People learn not to get on your bad side, and yet you aren't really as cruel as you let on. You hide and inner sadness.

Element: Darkness

Weapon: Axe

Pet Peeve: People who are TOO perky

Creativity- Your inner power is Creativity! Any of The Arts-music, dance, pure art, drama, creative writing-are your passion. You love the way you can control what happens to you and your life while you participate in any of The Arts, and you can push your emotions aside when you do so. You at times can feel very depressed and alone, and yet it only further fuels your love for your art. Life to you can often seem bitter and cruel, a world of darkness with only a few tiny flares of light, stretched out far in between one another. In a way youre confused with what you want in your life, and find it hard to trust people. Because of this people of the outside world see you as cold and uncaring, yet those who befriend you love you a lot, and know you are only very lonely and hurting. Boys are intrigued by your mysterious mask, and one day, one of them will reach passed your barriers and care for you the way you so desperately want to be cared for. Dont let the popular people get you down; you are a wonderful person, and without the creativity you bring the world, it would be a very boring place. Love yourself for who you are, for you are very special.
Boy/Girl who will sweep you off your feet: A sweet, sensitive man/woman. The guy/girl who understands your need for being alone sometimes. Yet also someone who would do anything to protect you for being hurt, even if it means giving up their life.
Your stone: Jade
Your power: Dreaming/Imagination
Your element: Dream
A quote that applies to you: Dare to dream, dare to fly, dare to be the ever chosen one to touch the sky.

PURPLE-you are intelligent and quick-witted. You have a keen eye for detail, things which are normally overlooked by people. You are infuriated at the slightest provocation. You tend to be extremely effusive in your expressions of grief. You are a creative person and an egotist of sorts. You seem to possess a cultivated taste for the subtle in life, while recognizing the magnificent.

Two related things, but my stories are not.

Problem 1: My sister and I were fighting a lot today. I love her, and we use to get along really well, but she turned 13 in February. Does that explain everything or what? All of the sudden it is much harder to get along. We both love each other but we are so different now that we fight about even the little problems. Mainly the fact that she doesn't like it when I play Video games. Something about attention. But I barely play anymore and when I do she still has a fit. Any ideas for help on that one?

Problem 2: One of my (thought) good friends might not be as good as I thought. We were great friends yesterday and Monday and Saturday, yet today and Sunday I got on his nerves and he didn't even want to be outside when I was over there. I think I have some bad effect on people recently. I don't know what I'm doing.I can't seem to get the right, or keep the right friends. Tell me what is wrong with me please.

No comments... I'll live.

Comments... I might throw a party.

Make me feel special...

 - The Jake master (or disaster, not quite sure)

Lonely Faerie
You are the Lonely Faerie. You aren't comfortable coming in contact with people, and you prefer to be alone. To pass the time you're usually found reading, writing, or sometimes even drawing.

Wings: Black and gray
Power: Shadows
Sexual appeal: You aren't one to stand out in a crowd... because you're not even in the crowd in the first place. This is what boys think is sexy, the way you persistently avoid everyone. It's like playing hard to catch, and they just can't resist it when you do this.
What you look for in a guy: You don't really notice guys that much, but that doesn't mean they don't notice you. If you had to choose, you'd probably pick someone about your height with grayish eyes. He can't be too dominating, of course, since you tend to be uncomfortable with people anyway.

this one described everything perfectly

all i wanted to do tonight was keep driving..

You have turned out to have the soul of a Raven! oooh! you mostly dont care about other people , and you dont make friends that easily. you can be snappy, but can be noticed when wanted too. you also have a strong and deep soul.

i care for certain people, but not out of random. if ur a friend and need help i'll b there.  friends, i stick w/ my type.

taking a break.

I'll be on aim though..

Life is stagnant.
I feel alone most of the time, and before a couple of people say, "Well, you're not alone: Jesus is a friend closer than a brother," keep quiet long enough for me to tell you that, unless God changes His mind, He has not shown up physically lately.  For the most part, however, life has just slipped me boredom along with my elixir of events, yet the effects don't seem that drastic, I guess.  I don't know.
Actually, I'm lucky to be on the internet today because I think a short in the wiring in my room causing me not to be able to get on most of the time.  I was almost too nervous to peer into my inbox.  (We get a lot of junk email at GaTech.)
So, anyway, besides Beatles fad of Paul and Doughty, and the accompanying venture capitalism of weed and Halo 2, nothing much sparks interest (or contempt for the Beatles) in my soul.  All weed has been free for me for a while now, although I don't like mooching off of the rest of the gang; as Trotter said, though, such distribution of goods tends to be communal nonetheless.  But worries abide as to the supply of their dearly beloved and my nerve calmer.  So maybe it's venture communism.  I don't know.  Maybe I just word-dropped spontaneously.
Again, as I said, I'm alone (right now literally), but if you compelled to call, you can.  I don't really want to post my number for everyone to see though.  Rebecca knows it, though; so get it from her I guess.  (I almost can't believe I'm saying this.)  A lot of times, I feel as if people can move on easily without my existence, a fact which obviously hinders recovery from bouts with depression.  Ah, venting...
Well, this weekend, my mom's coming down to Atlanta: this "confession" ought to be good.  Although she told me she was no priest and therefore wanted to stall any future confession to her, I feel that, since I'm spending a good portion of funds (125 dollars) on this penalty, she deserves to know.  Personally, though, I really am still debating telling her because I know her reaction will entail an enormous argument and subsequent awkward silence between us.  Oh well...
Musically, I've been checking the quality of the band Isis.  So far, they're proven all right.  They require further inspection though.

Okay, well nothing is really new. Beautiful is sick with mono, I am as healthy as a horse (which for some reason we assume it means your health??), I am ready for the summer to get here, and I am thinking of getting a job at Kroger because I like it a lot more than I do Bi-lo or Food-Lion.  We got a 039.something out of 400 on our ACI (Annual Command Inspection) in JROTC of course, which is really good considering the moron cadet who decided to walk onto the field (I am not sure if he is a cadet anymore) in the middle of inspection and nine cadets missing. I have a three page paper due next Thursday on J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, and the ACT this weekend. I also gave Sarah my Chess painting for her birthday, which I hate giving gifts because I am always questioning whether they actually like it or not especially when it involves my art work. I am looking forward to Boy's State at the end of May and beginning of June. I was thinking about getting a job as a waiter so that I could have a little pocket money along with a pay check, ya know? Idk, well, I think that is long enough! ttyl

Television commercials


A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas  about God.       

Here are some of the results: scroll down.

God is like..
BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.


God is like...
a FORD
He's got a better idea .

God is like...
COKE
He's the  real thing.

(This is great)
God is like...
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.

God is like...
TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.


God is like...
GENERAL ELECTRIC
He  brings good things to life.

God is like...
SEARS
He has everything.

God is like...
ALKA-SELTZER
Try Him, you'll like Him

God is like...
SCOTCH TAPE
You can't  see Him, but you know He's there.


God is like...
DELTA
He's ready when you are.

God is like...
ALLSTATE
You're in  good hands with Him.


God is like...
VO-5 Hair Spray  
He holds through all kinds of weather.


God is like...
DIAL SOAP
Aren't you  glad you have Him?  Don't you wish everybody did?

God is like...
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His  appointed destination.

i got this in an email and i thought it was pretty NEAT!

be blessed

In His Love, Kate

why am i so damn unloveable?
why can't i find a guy who will treat me right?

as one triangle shatters

another is repaired.

..I apologize. Hah..

today has been pretty good...for a school day.  they got the clocks fixed finally.  that was nice.  not much school work, got my hw done at school.  now on to soccer practice!

Say prayers and make voodoo dolls.  I'm going to court tomorrow for a certain infamous "California stop," so anything that can be done to prevent my officer from showing up tomorrow would be much appreciated.

I still can't believe he called me rude.  The nerve.  I've read etiquette books since elementary school (yeah, it's weird, but I like it and I was bored, so there); how dare he?  I think that's more offensive than being pulled over.  We'll see if he crosses another Emily Post devotee again!  Hahaaa!!  *Victoire*

Ugh, much errands to be ran, and way too much cash to be burned.  Who knew a single stopsign could make such a wallet-ish dent???

For anyone who knows me. Pray for me. I really don't want to discuss the ton of situations wrong, but PLEASE pray for me. I really need it.

People should get their facts straight before they open their mouthes.

Oh-ho, Leaving in like 3 hours!! i'm excited!! i want a tan so bad!!!! see ya'll losers later!!

bAtHiNg SuIt TiMe!!! ^^^ *e-money$*

so Hillsong United lead the worship @ 7:22 in Atlanta... i didn't know what to expect, but i have been waiting for about 4 years to see them so finally i was able to see them and this time it was FREE so how could this work any better?
so on the way me, isaac, and amanda heath stopped by my grandparents house (the house i was raised in Atlanta, Ga since my parents sold it to my Uncle Ricky/Grandparents) and it was good to see them again and introduce them to some of my friends.
then we headed to NPCC to 7:22.

we get to the church and waited for like 45minutes for the doors to open...of course there was a flood for seats and we didnt get any seats so we stood the entire time because i did not drive from TN to get put in the overflow room to watch United on an HD screen haha...

so it all starts and i was standing there thinking God what is it that you want to show me? because i knew there was a purpose in it all beside me wanting to United...
1. so it was one of those things where i just stood still while they played and lead worship...in standing still i was able to see the various styles of worship of those around me. with various of cultures, denominations, and people brings about various types of worship...i thought this was so beautiful because our God is a diverse God. He is not linear in time, blessings, or existence...

2. Joel Houston (one of the leaders of United) began to speak in between songs and just shared his heart... in one his overflows of conversation he said so many times as christian we focus on intimacy with our Father and prioritize worship BUT we lack justice...then he stated "worship and justice go hand in hand"...
explaining justice as simple as the commandment to love others and to live a life loving those who are hurting and destitute and in need... this really hit me because i realized my focus has been on worship so much i have lacked love and it has been an imbalance..

3. later, Phil Dooley (Hillsong youth/singles minister) began to speak about the ministry that God has been working in @ Australia and he said something that really struck me hard... he said so many of us focus on being "a generation that has a passion and sees the greatness of his fame"...he then said this is vital yes BUT the only way our generation can be successful is to be biblically literate...if we do not know the word and seek our Father then how effective is a christian without fruit?

so these things really stuck out for me in the trip to Atlanta...it was worth every bit of it...just a good time to chill with my bro Isaac and friend heath...so yeah
Thank You God

I WON ANOTHER SCHOLARSHIP FOR $1,000!!!!!!

So now that makes three scholarships I've received to go towards college. This one is called the Comcast Leaders and Achievers Scholarship...and I was supposed to be notified last week but I wasn't so I didn't think I got it...but it came in the mail today. I ran from my mailbox to my car screaming and jumping up and down....I flew down my driveway and did another kind of dance and called my mom.

Even though I already have enough money for college I feel so blessed to have received it. This has increased my happiness level...which I didn't think could be done already.

*smiles*

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

God has blessed me so much lately...I don't deserve any of it. I'm speechless.

YAY finally got baptized in the ocean in Trinidad. There are tons of pics on Facebook and I will have some up here sometime soon I hope.

Yeah, so tomorrow I have the exit comprehensive test for nursing school. Pretty big deal ya see, but strangely I haven't been too stressed about it. But I am sure I will be tomorrow. I get 2 chances to pass it. If I fail it tomorrow, I get 10 points deducted off my final grade in this particular class and if I fail the second time I'll be out of the program, so...PRAY,PRAY,PRAY! That is, if you don't mind 'cause that would be amazing!! peace and love :O  )
                                       

I was bored on the way home from FL on Spring Break so I took some pictures of the trees, while we were stopped in the massive amount of traffic outside of Atlanta.  It is now the background for my myspace.  Man I love editing pictures....its become an addiction.

amor!

cz

sorry ... had to rant ....

besides all that mess life is pretty good right now. i just found out yesterday that i got a raise at little caesars. yeah-ya! lol. .... im just kinda floatin around in my own little world lately. i like it alot better than this world...ya know? all the drama...hate..hurt....drama...i dont know. i guess its my only escape right now.

I'm posting this because I need to kill time and I honestly can't think of anything else I want to say.

Andrew and I had to go drop something off at church on Sunday, and there was a small group of people in the sanctuary....and as soon as we walk in it's, "Andrew! It's so good to see you! We miss you! It's not the same without you!" I got nothing.... I think I heard Jeana Lewis call them out on their error, but I really thought it was funny. Hm....I wonder why I never felt like I belonged at FWC? And of course Andrew did everything he could to make me feel better, saying that he was a member of youth staff and all that. I couldn't get over that I went there for a year and a half and going back I felt completely invisible. Ah well. No hard feelings. I know it had a lot to do with the people that were there. But then again, I remember feeling the same way when we visited a while back.

The semester is almost over....I can't wait. I am burnt out, and so looking forward to NOT taking classes this summer. Before I start looking for a job, I'm going to see if I can make some money from my gallery on Yessy. I haven't updated it in....a very long time, but every once in a while I'll still sale one of my older paintings on there. So, I'm hoping if I update I'll maybe have more consistent sales.... ha, consistency in an artist's financial income. That's the funny story.
Anyways, you guys can check out the site now if you want. It's www.yessy.com/291
And I'll let everyone know when I get the new stuff on there.
Oh, I couldn't afford to keep magdalenestudios.com - I'm not sure if anyone on here ever knew it existed, but if some of you did, it's gone now. As am I. Farewell.

So does anyone else think that it is strange for it to snow in April? I was wearing flip flops last week what the heck is goin on?

"A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view."
~ Wilma Askinas ~

"A friend knows the song of my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails."
~ Author Unknown ~

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."
~ Bernard Meltzer ~

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
~ Author Unknown ~

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."
~ G. Randolf ~

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
~ Walter Winchell ~

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost"
~ Charles Caleb Colton ~

"Friendship is a sheltering tree."
~ S. Taylor-Coleridge ~

"Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens adversity by dividing and sharing it."
~ Cicero (44 B.C.) ~

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch swing with, never saying a word, and then walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had."
~ Unknown ~

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that gives value to survival."
~ C.S. Lewis ~

"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is a last drop that makes it run over; so in series of kindnesses, there is a last one that makes the heart run over."
~ James Boswell ~

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

"What is a friend? I will tell you. It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with him. He seems to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. He does not want you to be better or worse. When you are with him, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you. He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With him you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meannesses and absurdities and, in opening them up to him, they are lost, dissolved on the white ocean of his loyality. He understands. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him. Best of all, you can keep still with him. It makes no matter. He likes you. He is like fire that purges to the bone. He understands. You can weep with him, sin with him, laugh with him, pray with him. Through it all - and underneath - he sees, knows and loves you.
A friend? What is a friend?
Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself."
~ C. Raymond Beran ~

I normally don't like getting on the soap box websites, but I want to so I am. 

Denomintations are not a bad thing.  Everyone likes 20 10 and 5 dollar bills, but that is not what I am talking about.  A denomitination is a large group of religious congregations united under a common faith and name and organized under a single administrative and legal hierarchy. 

It is so cool and trendy to not be in a denomination right now.  Well it is cool to be in one.  Gosh that was corny but anyways.

I am proud to be a part of the largest denomination in the  world.  Yes we have our problems, but there are a lot of good things too.  Do you know what your denomination's beliefs are.  Are they close to God's heart and vision.  One of the cool things about the SBC is the cooperative program. 

What is it?  

In 1919, the leaders of the SBC proposed the 75 Million Campaign, a five-year pledge campaign that, for the first time, included everything—the missions and ministries of all the state conventions as well as that of the Southern Baptist Convention. Though falling short of its goals, a God-given partnership of missions support was conceived—The Cooperative Program. Since its launch in 1925, the effectiveness of CP has been dependent upon individuals, churches, state conventions, and SBC entities cooperating, working toward a common goal of sharing the gospel with every person on the planet.

http://www.cpmissions.net/2003/what%20is%20cp.asp

"Again, I'm afraid of
something small and insignificant.
In trying to hide that fear
I'm showing my habit of feigning strength."
-Ayu (Independent)

hey guys,

  so anyways got in a fight with my mom last night and she took my cellphone :( not to happy a little pissed actually but she read all my texts and some weren't really that good(oops...)but I told her i was tired of my life and i was done with god i think i upset her but what can i do. Lifes life right? so mine is crazy right now mom didn't even get up this mornin and wake me up she usually does so I think she is mad but i told her I can't live my life for her anymore. I am going to live my life for me and not anyone else, not even god.

It's odd to see the changes in life when you finally do what you want and realize things that you need to. I look back on my life a few months ago and realize that some things are just better off being permanently in the past. I can finally say I'm happy........really happy.

yea!!! my dad decided not to be mean anymore and is turning my internet back on this weekend... wow that didnt take long only like a month -.- hehe anyway im gonna write a short blog today luv yas :)

I have a friend that is in the same situation at Oakland. He likes a girl from his church, but she told him that she doesn't want a boyfriend. Now, he tries to keep being a friend to her, but she hardly talks to him anymore; except when she says says hi to him. So now he makes it look like he doesn't like her anymore when in reality, he has fallen for her. He knows that she doesn't like him like that, but he still likes her. He used to try to be so nice to her that he would ALWAYS offer to carry her books, walk to class with her, and be someone that she could pray with, but he kinda feels like he shouldn't even try to be her friend anymore.

Thats right its my Birthday and Im the Big 19 now !!!!!!!!!!

The top scorers both at MTSU and overall in Facebook's basketball tournament bracket contest were girls. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I think it's pretty interesting.


photo from tallmann

photo from rhsworrior09

........................ nothing to write about.

oh! the most interesting part of my day was i woke up ten minutes after i was supposed to leave. i was late to school, but it really wasn't my fault. i did wake up late, and i did get to the bus stop late, but the bus should have been there on time. if the bus was on time, i would have sat down in my eat as the bell rang. but, the bus was like five minutes late, and i was five minutes because of it. wow.

also, i figured out something: the road to the freeway (and eventually to town) is so congested with traffic in the morning. and it's because the lights on o‘ahu are on timers. no signals involved. and that sucks. it should be updated. so, traffic was stopped for ever. it takes two hours to drive four miles to the freeway, because most of the people on the island work someplace downtown or so.

we are getting a target. theres gonna be one in kapolei (hopefully), downtown, and mililani (thats only if they find land, which there is plenty of in kapolei). i actually like target. its cool.

i want to go to the library. but my mom wont let me. she thinks it takes too long to get there and back, but its just down by school. a five minute bus ride. whatever.

well, im out.

aloha

NEWYORKCITY

it's coming.

i'm very excited.

like...really excited.

miss me while i'm gone.

LOVE// Britt

today has been pretty wild

my best friend jeph went to the hospital today he od on lortabs...

then on top of that his parents think i was in on this drug deal so they think im some bad kid when i cant stand drugs.

but the good thing is, is that he is gonna be ok. he just has to stay over night .

but ne way

in other news

i miss placed my keys to the chevy beretta,

well ur thinking ed, why do u care? the car doesnt even work!

well any other day i would agree with u but!!!! i have some good news

im gonna sell my car so i can get a new car

but i cant find the keys so doesnt look like i can ne time soon lol

but yeah i have a huge favor to ask.

im looking for a honda crx 5 speed. if u know ne buddy that is selling one please tell me!!!

actually ne honda car thats a 5 speed would be great

well comment me love me

-ed

random picture

jimmys hand goes BOOM!

well I said that I would give more info about the wedding so...Jeff got
married on april fools day (why I don't know) but while they were doing
food and stuff I jacked the rear axle of their car up just enough so
that the rear wheels were just barely off the ground. Some other
unnamed individuals painted the windows with hearts and junk and tied
ribbons all over. Myself and some other individuals moved the luggage
to the truck (and had I found the truck keys I would have moved that as
well). I jacked the heat and the radio up in the car and thought about
disconecting the battery but I didn't. The expresions that we got were
great. It was fun. But for some reason we weren't able to find out what
hotel they were staying at. I have no idea why he wouldn't tell
anyone....lol


Trilogy went great on sunday. Another one this week. You should come
and see it. 8:30, 11, and 6 on Sunday. message me or call me for
directions.


long day today (what else is new?) had my truck towed last night so I
had about five (rather heated on my part) conversations with the
apartment staff about it. To no avail.


Saturday morning Linda and I went and rented/reserved a tux. Black with
a silver vest and tie. She will be wearing her blue dress.


photo from Linda Lu

deffinitaly have a hott date
deffinitaly looking forward to prom
as well as the hummer that I hope to be driving to prom
(if all works out like it should)

other than that...school, work, and not much else

I want to just feel like this.

You know, the fun, confident, carefree person who always gets it right and is always upbeat.

Do people see the problems as who I am?
I want the smile to be permanant. Or at least predominate...

Happy
...Fear stuck its foot out and I tripped on the same lie

That voice screaming into my head

Pushing me to play dead

Saying "don't you even try"

But how can I claime to be free

When I carry more chains the world when they see me?

I don't wanna be the fool who stays

Down, down, down, down down


I should be happy

I should be happy

I should be living up these days

Just like I know who runs this place

Now that you found me

I should be happy


Now I'm not talking 'bout a smile so fake

While the world takes pictures 24/7

I just want my faith to be a little more real

What you see is what you get

What you see is how I feel


I should be happy...
you get the picture.... Happy....

Well off to DC....

So i guess you will just have to wait to talk to be until Sunday night, but wait....

I GOT A CELL PHONE!!!

Off with these cool kids!

So I haven't become a pro at it yet, but I have been messing with pictures with a program called GIMP.  I enjoy it but I think that it takes me longer than it's supposed to.  ;)

So basically i found out the reason why the guy i liked basically fucked me over...
"i cant look at him like hes human because he fucked me over hardcore because hes selfish and it was hard to deal with us and he thinks nothing is wrong with that"
Sorry is Five Letters but so is FUCK U... so i basically wanna say that i am giving up on this shit and its not worth it anymore. Im walking out this time, and i hope i dont have to deal with this bullshit anylonger.
"So were back to "This is it" Because. Thats what it feels like. If you cant have me as a boyfirend, you dont want to see me at all. I dont know what to do know. Do I hit the X and close you out of my life. I cant do that. It would hurt the both of us. I dont know what to do"

ill do it for you [X] (click) BYE!!!

My berfday was alright.  Nothing too exciting or amazing happened, but it wasn't the bottom of the suckage barrel either.

Got three really nifty presents today.  Okay, one really awesome one and two kind of smart-ass ones.

Michael gave me his chess-piece painting.  ^_^  I loooooooooves it.

Brian and Nemanja went shopping at the Dollar Tree apparently.  :p  They got me a nerf rocket and a little teddy bear that says "Get Well Soon."  Both of these items, by the way, have been named Puska.  (There's supposed to be a little curly thingy over the s, but my computer won't make that symbol.)

I hope 17 turns out a lot better than 16 did.... Whooo.  Glad that's over.

Well here's to R-rated movies, a 12:00 AM curfew, and donating blood!

yes. i bought another luella bartley bag from target. this one was cheaper. and i am in love with it. alot.

gym class heroes. they are fun. and i enjoy them. alot, too.

Run Down

- Had to ride to school with Nik (looked a mess, as usual these days)

- Ate a YUMMY muffin (Blueberry)

- Coach W. told me i made him think of 'strip poker' because i wore so many layers, and all that jazz, and i told him he couldn't talk about stuff like that with me b/c he's a teacher...

- La te da da da the rest of the school day happened can't really remember anything else bigwell....

- Had a VERY interesting chat at lunch with Nik, Gin, and Brian

- After School drove to the tanning bed (Nik had 3 friends with her so i drove.)

- Get in Sun Rays and hear a horn hanking... i turn around and Nik's hanging the window with her butt and feet in the air, b/c the girls are pulling her in, (gotta love them)

- Tanned, saw Matt Biship, YA THAT WAS WEIRD!

-left there, had dinner with Mom, then went to get groceries (sp)

Fun Fun Fun

- Cell Prayer at Chels' (my second home)

- Hung with Kara ad talked about prom (YIPPY SKIPPY)

-Taught Chels how to burn a CD, and made me one

- Afterwards about 10 or so of us went out in the yard and played 'Big Booty' (Church camp game)

- Then we all sat in a circle and sang and goofed off as Blake played the Guitar

- Then came home

Random Notes to self::

- DON'T write alot then accidently delete it

- CLEAN before mom spazzes...

- Do laundry

- Find prom shoes

- Get eyebrows waxed

- Be nicer to people

- Start letting people in

- Get back 'into' church

- STOP leading people on....

so i'm just like, i wonder what the other one will say, it was the last one one the counter, it says You will travel to many places, this is weird, very very weird...

so yea, i opened a fortune cookie that was laying on my counter, opened it and it says that^^^ yea, and pretty sure i'm going to be on my way to TX tomorrow, i find this funny, something to save for the scrapbook

GEEZ  WE LOST CABLE AGAIN!! THATS THE SECOND TIME TODAY! and this time i was talkin to someone on aim.  ) :  oh well, i guess ill talk to them tomorrow.

When I hit my AOL Explorer icon a few minutes ago, I saw an ad for the trailer for a movie about the plane that crashed in PA on 9/11. There was an article along with it that questioned whether or not the trailer should be pulled because it struck way too many nerves of Americans. Having not really been terribly affected ((or so I thought)) from 9/11, and since I didn't lose anybody I knew, I figured that the people that would really get sensitive about it were those that were directly affected.

I was wrong.

WSS rehearsal was pretty good tonite... but i sleepy... my preparing for from adventures continue...

yeah, pretty dress but a negative! my boobs don't fit! >.<

Aren't they all so cute???

ok so i cant really complain about the past few days. today was ok. i didnt really do much. i went to school an my teachers really didnt give me anything challenging to do. and after school i went to the tanning bed and then to law explorers. and then to work for about 30 min. just tp help out. and then i went to cvs and the guy that was at the cash register was hitting on me. lol but hey i must admit he was hot!!! then yeah i came home.

oh yeah today ask an i wore the same kind of shirt and ppl were like yall planned this and we really didn't. but it was cool we were twins for a day!!!!!yeah and i got to see sgt sexton too!!!!

well anyways, amanda wont be able to be in jrotc next yr........oh well, i wont be in it either next yr. at least she an i will still work in the nursery together!!!!!

well that about does it

later

luv lisa

p.s. ~ if ur goin on the band trip be safe and all and have a ton of fun!!! see u when u get back!!!!!

find out who you are,

&

do it on purpose.

in the last 72 hours,
considering that I havent been able to sleep
I have thought about many things.
since sunday,
I've only been able to sleep
three or fours hours out of the night
the rest of the time,
I lay there and think
or listen to music.

I asked God a lot of questions
and I got some answers to some of them.
I feel Him there next to me at night.
I say, it's a good feeling.

I thought about my family.
I love them, but oh how I need to get away
even if it's for a day.
when I thought about this,
I mostly thought about my sister
because I am close to her.
and when she gets older, I hope she
doesnt turn out anything like me.

I thought about my friends.
we've changed, much
good in some ways, bad in some ways
a lot of love lost, a lot of love gained.
but I love them no matter what.
even if we laugh and talk all day
or we dont see each other for months
I love them.

I thought about chad,
and how happy I have been since september.
especially now, I like that I can talk to him
I love that he's my bestfriend, not only my boyfriend
and what I like knowing the most is,
he's there and that he loves me.
I know he's right there by me when I struggle.

then I thought about me.
I've changed a lot, I know this
I'm just not quite sure if it's for the best
or for the worst.
I'm not any stronger
yes in my faith, I am
but, not towards other things.
I thought yesteday,
I dont want what my parents want.
I know, I know, "what kid does?"
they push me to do things
and it only pushes me away from them
and I hate that because I want to be close.
knowing I have so many fears,
I officially thought of something.
I want a day full of crazy.
one day, I'm going to just go full out crazy
and I'm not going to second guess anything I do
I'm just going to do it.

I'm just going to do it..

DC=TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DC=TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new phuse box.
i dont like this one.

the_silence

whoot. whoot. first post.

I would love to go back to New York and experience something like Paint the Town again. I really hope God springs something up on me for this summer, because it's currently not looking like much.



So registration for the fall began yesterday. I'm trying really hard to not be concerned about the fact that some idiotic seniors have already stolen eight flippin' spots (out of 73) for the one (because the other one was cancelled) Sight, Sound, and Motion class avaliable next semester, which I need to take in order to apply for canidacy.

My current tenative schedule is the forementioned course, Intro to Literary Studies, Sociology, and Tennessee History Honors. By the way, I would be in Peck Hall for three straight hours on MWF. Fun.

But I digress..

McAlister's on Friday... at 6 I think. Check Garrett's Phusebox. All the cool kids will be there.

Well I no longer have myspace, but ill keep this.

Ummmmm........Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Mmmmmmmmhmmmmm, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Lyndi's birthday was yesterday and our one-year anniversary is tomorrow! I love her so much!

So Florida won the NCAA Title last night.
"I'm not even gonna say it but..you know I'm upset."

I won both of the pools I entered brackets in. Overall on Facebook I came in 99th so..yeah! Haha! While my pick to win the Championship was a longshot (Tennessee, obviously) I still managed to have 2 teams in the Final Four (LSU and Florida) and I even called the LSU-Duke upset. Come on. How could you not love watching JJ reddick cry?

Bruce Pearl came in 3rd for National Coach of the Year but he did manage to gain SEC Coach of the Year, so I guess that's good enough for us here.

I'm throughly enjoying the MacBook. I sat in Astronomy today and made a webpage with iWeb. I took my notes, too. Sort of.

cantrell.out

I feel ultimately; completely...

sometimes i wish i could just say...

other times if i did....and i would be sad.

Then i realize...and everything is ok.


ahh that was interesting.

i'm addicted to tab energy drink/hair products/eyeliner

welcome to the world of Sarah


I have the most complex mind imaginable.

I speak what i feel && I remember

almost everything that made me sad; or upset at myself.

I have to write my feelings out;

otherwise i'll blow up...and probably get angry.

I have a low attention spand.


i want to talk on the phone for hours about everything.

I wanna be someones everything.

I have no hope. because i'm obease

except i'm not really obease; i'm just weird.

I don't lie; other than the fact I say things,

then immediately tell people that's a lie.

it's true; I really don't know what's wrong with me.


Sometimes I think it's hard to tell my feelings,

and when i try;i hold it in.

i have my own dirty little secrets.

although no one knows them really.

Maybe a few people.


oh well..i'll amount to something.

o geez,  i feel so smart now,  i just now understood the banner that says who is tom...lol wow.........

yup really smart....

I gave in to the power.  I have a myspace.  I wish it was myDANCEspace instead! That would be great.

I just need to keep in touch with all my friends.  And most of them are already on mySpace and don't want another blog...or they are on mySpace, Xanga, LiveJournal, Facebook, and have half a dozen email addresses and honestly can't keep up with another blog.

Oh well.  I'm a proud Phuser and will always be.

so i put a bunch of pictures on here--just for hodge!!
i think its about 54 pics!  you're welcome hodge!!
                        

 So Rachael asked me to write an entry for her so here it goes!

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Rachael is sweet

and a little koo-koo...

I love you Rachael!!! even though it took me forever to spell your name right...Let God rock it.

+Mary Lauren+ (typing for Rachael)

There's not ever much of anything going on in my head.
~Carrie Underwood

Yes I know ...that sounds like me.  I know.

http://www.davidbessler.com/pulldown/pipecleaner_dance.html

mwahahahahahaaaa!

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek Your face
Lord all I am is is Yours

My whole life I place in Your hands
God of mercy Humbled I bow down
In your presence at Your throne

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high

WOW!! such powerful lyrics! i love this song and the words of the bridge. i really want that to be my prayer that in my world be lifted high. so pretty much in everything i do let my life glorify YOU!! last week while we were in mexico we had that everything was centered around Christ. but since we are back in the "real world." let my life be one that would glorify God! well later- stephen

so i see that the new passion album is out and i can't wait to get my hands on it. itunes is a wonderful thing! AMEN!! saves me a whole lot of money.

another day at school....and today i had absolutly no idea what time it was because nobody knows how to fix the clocks in my school.  so i was in first period and it was like 12 when it should have been like 9.  it was crazy.  u never know how much you rely on a clock til you dont have one.  maybe i should consider buying a watch...

so my first period teacher is getting a litle bitchy. personal i don't give a crap. im going to be out of school in way less than a month and hey im ready to go. im ready to party, go to the lake and have fun in the sun.

she threatened us about current events. it was crazy! of course. i didn't care anyways. i never do my current event until like the last day. i don't care. senor-itas set in a long time ago. like... the end of junior year. :P

but then she said she is taking away the computer priveledges too. hey oh well.

r. flited with j. again today... its getting gross.

ugh... i don't get paid anytime soon. im afriad i can't buy anyone easter gifts... :'(

and im starving my lizard too... :'( i don' have money to buy him crickets. im starving myself... we are just all starving..

i don't geel right bumming off of people.. its just not right to me. i don't take kindly to charity!!! i will give to charity but i wont accept it... exception: financial aid for college... :(

ugh...why can't life be more simple... :(

I wish I could find the right words to ever completely explain what I mean or how I feel....

"Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your...
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know ya do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along"

Man , Gym+Weightlifting=Sore Thomas.

I hurt like a bia, insane-ness. I've watched Memoirs of a Geisha..3 times now, freakin love that movie. Typing is so boring , i'm glad there is internet haha. I don't have anything to do this weekend, anyone wanna do something?

Thoams

what should i do to it?

Wow it's been FOR-EV-ER since i've updated! I've just been busy with school and work. School is goin good...very glad we only have a month left. Work is..well it's work...I'm ready to be done with that to. A joy to working on campus is that when school closes...so does ur job..woo hoo!!! Well i better go cause i have to be at work soon!! I hope everyone has an A-MAZ-ING day!!!

~and i'll fall facedown as Your glory shines around, Yes I'll fall facedown, as Your glory shines around!! So let Your glory shine around, let  Your glory shine around, King of Glory here be found! King of Glory!!!!

i always seem to set myself for disapointment. i see life as a fairytale. i want prince charming to come and rescue me from this world of hate into true love. i want to graduate from college become an elementary teacher get married and have a family. i wanted the guy of my dreams to ask me to prom and pick me up at my house and watch the sunrise in the morning.........

of course i know none of this is going to happen. considering one of them already didnt happen. and i know i have set my bar too high. but all a girl can do is dream.....right?

School lockdowns.

Disciplinarians or psychotic control freaks?

ive had some time to think about it

and watch the sun sink like a stone

ive had some time to think about you

on the long ride home.

Mexico was incredible. i had such a great time. it was so nice to see what its like outside the good ole usa...i know mexico isnt too far -but it was still so different. The people there are so open and happy. Those children have the most sincere and happy looks on their faces..they have absolutely nothing..but they are so much more grateful and content..

it was also really beautiful..and the weather was great..i took a bunch of pictures of the people and the land..the trees are different there...they kind of wind up and spread out then up..anyways..you get the picture..me standing there looking at the mountains ..remembering how great and beautiful my God is.

well..im in art class so i should probably do something right?

love you-kels

When worshipping, try to imagine Jesus walking among us... listening to each of us with one of those stethoscopes that doctors use that filter out all the noise and AMPLIFY the heart...BUT Jesus doesn't put his stethoscope away when the singing finishes on a Sunday or Wednsday night. He's listening to the sound of the heart at work on Tuesday morning; he's listening to the sound of the heart when we're out with our friends on a Friday night. He's listening to the heart when your in that class that lasts forever. He listens to our heart when we are alone in the stillness or loudness as you read this now. He listens to the heart constantly as we should be in constant prayer....so long after any songs you sing come to an end, the sound that continues to echo around the throne room in heaven is the sound of your heart.

**Stole that from John Dunahoo, thought it was really cool**

A quote to live by:

"I pray that when I die, all of hell will throw a party in celebration that I am no longer in the battle!"

So i know its been a long time since i have updated so i thought it was about time!  a lot has happened since the last time.  i now have an amazing girlfriend.  who constantly makes me smile and just be happy.  I went to mexico and that was awesome.  im sure you have read 300 other updates about the trip so i'll spare you all the details.  And i'm just makin it through and tryin to do my best.  everyday is just like the one before it and will be like the next day so not many days stand out.  but this saturday is going to be great because it is mine and kaitlin's 1 month.  so i'm excited! she is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!  just thinking about her makes me smile!!

Rosencrantz - "Shouldn't we be doing something consructive?"
Guildenstren - "What did you have in mind...?"
                      "A short blunt pyramid...?"

from "Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead"
by Tom Stoppard

I love my family (Dad, Mom, Bos)

I've started writing my Senior wills to my underclassmen.

"Yes, I stand up again and again
If there is a wall, we can break it
Don't you think our lives have only just begun?
So long as there is a way, we can open the door"
-Ayu (INSPIRE)

Hey Phusebox? Whats Up? Me, Nothing Much Just Chilling In 4th Period Doing Work... Man, The Worst Thing Happened This Morning On My Way To School... My Girlfriend Texted Me And Told Me She Didnt Know How To Explain Something To Me And She Didnt Want Me To Get Mad... I Asked What Is It Baby, Then She Tells Me That She's Not Ready To Be In A Relationship... Man, Im Hurting So Bad Inside... Why Is It That Every Time I Get Settled With Someone That I Love, They End Up Leaving Me? What Did I Do Wrong? Did I Not Love Her Enough? Eventhough I Told Her I Love Her Everyday, Tell Her She's Beautiful When I See Her, And With Every Moment I Have, I Want To Spend It With Her... I Cried This Morning In First Period, Eventhough It Didnt Show... I Really Loved Her, And I Thought We Had Something Together... The Kissing, The Hugging, The Loving, All Of That.... The Pain I Feel Inside Just Gets Deeper & Deeper As I Wander, What Is She Doing Now, Does She Still Love Me, Why Did She Leave Me?!? Did She Want Another Man? All Ive Ever Wanted Was Someone That Would Love Me And Do Me Right... Someone Who Can Hold Me When Im Down, Someone To Be There To Love Me When I Need Her... But Everyday Is Like A Tear Falling From The Sky Yall Feel Me?  I Felt Like I Was Really In Love But Then It Just Goes Away Out Of Nowhere... Im Starting To Believe That There Is No Such Thing As Love... I Mean Shit, Define Love? It Seems Like Nobody Is Ready For Nothing Thats Real But Yet They Claim They Need It But The Next Minute They Leave It... What Is Wrong With Yall? Yall Claim Yall Wanna Be Loved But When You Get It Yall Leave Us, It Dont Work Like That Man?!? I Dont Know Why Yall Are So Attached With Other Boys Or Whatever Knowing You Have Something That Can Stay With You Forever!?! Excuse Me For Coming At Yall Like That, I'm Just Sick & Tired Of Being Ran Over By Females That Come At Me Saying They Love Me But At The End It Never Seemed Like You Did Because You Was The One That Ended Up Leaving... Its Hard To Get Over The Ones You Love And Its Hard To Stay Away Too...Man, Me And My Baby Was Going So Good, And So Well... But Not She Tryna Say She Wanna Up And Leave Because She Be Busy?!? Man Yeah The Fuck Right... Im Out Yall Im Tripping And Im Hurt...

hey i havn't updated i awhile. i hope that everyones spring break rocked out loud like mine did.  i went to florida and saw people and went to the ripley's there. it was pretty neat.

The new Passion CD from Passion 06 in Nashville was released today.  You can get it on itunes.  If you go to the home page, look under new releases.  Click on inspirational.  It is right there.  The tracks aren't listed (itunes mess up?), but if you click "purchase album" it downloads them all for you.  Well worth the $9.99!

"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."  -- Swedish proverb

Hahahaha, Lexi bought me the coolest thing ever: French underwear, saying "Maintenant ou jamais" (translation: "Now or never").  You know you want it.  Thank you Lexi!  *Snirkle*

Sssssssssssssssunburn!  ....Is getting better.  I can wear shirts with sleeves now!  Yes!!

"Friends multiply our joy and divide our troubles." -- Another Swedish proverb.

Um, okay, quote of the day.  Yeah, you're all going to hell for knowing me.

Lexi: "We get next Friday off."
Me: "Thank you Jesus!  WAIT -- that's Good Friday!!!!!"

I went to Starbucks w/ Rae Rae this morning before school.

I love my Starbucks guy ^^ lol he is so cute

"You can start your plan whenever you like
And you can end it
When it's ready
It's up to you"
-Ayu (Startin')

   : (

okay so im not stressed about anything today!! and thats really really weird because i usually stress about everything! go me , although 1st period hasnt even started yet so my stress level might elevate.Ugh seniors , they are making us go another week!! evil huh? oh well i can suffer through one more week , go me i have to take finals.. ok someone wake me from my nightmare before i have to sit through this class!!!