July 31 2006

 Well, I'm almost done with school. I think tomorrow is my last day. But i'll be back in wed just to make sure. So i'll be out of school finally and my b-day is a week from tomorrow. So i want a party!! I want to have a blast. I want the best party i've ever had (which shouldn't be too hard considering i've only had one party). I just want to drink and go swimming late at night. And I want to play pool drunk and go bowliong drunk and be drivin around. Or i can be sober but i'm sure i can have a party.... I know people who can hook me up with alcohol. Just need a place to do it all is all. But other than that i'm doing good and quite bored more so now than use to be but oh well. I'll see ya

just randomness

July 19 2006

I don't know why but the last couple of days and today i've been wanting to write. I don't usually get the urge to write. But I have been. But it has helped me to clear my mind which is nice. So i fell like writing something but i don't know what. In a way i wan to write like lyric or something but i don't know what to write about. Maybe i can about work. I don't know. So i've figured out how to get some sleep. All i need to do is listen to music at night and i can get up. I'm moving along in school, a lil slow right now but it'll hopefully get quicker. I've got 4.5 weeks left then i'm out for two week unless i graduate by then. I don't know exactly how much i have left but i know it's not too much cuz my teacher said i could possibly graduate in time for this trimester. So i guess i'm gonna get back to my work. hopefully it won't take too much longer to do these three chapters and the posttests i have to take for like 2 or 3 of them. so i'll ttyl.

Stupid Bitch (lyrics, in a way)

July 18 2006
She dwells in her darkness
She doesn't know how she feels
Other than the alcohol intoxicating her.
She lost her ways that day
She lost her light somewhere in time.
She can't go without a fight,
She's destined not to find her light.
She threw it out of sight
Now she's just waiting for time to show her her light
Then she'll wake up and relize what she has done.
Then she'll be sober and in pain like the rest of us
But for now she lives in her abyss 
Her eternal darness

She goes from guy to guy trying to find the answers
The answers only time will show
All she can hope to do is lay on her couch
All deaf and confused
Not knowing what to do
She can't hear the screams of her own solitude
She wants to go back home but doesn't want to be proven wrong
So she fights, she fights, she fights the memory of the light
The light she once had, now its gone and isn't coming back

Now time shows her her life,
How she has truly down nothing right.
Throwing out her light, in such a time,
She's too late, to take it all back.
She'll never remember what it's like
To be right and loved again.
As time has shown her the light.
The light she's been fighting the momories of.
She's so wrong, She's now gone, She's stuck in her eterntal abyss!

endless (my lyrics for a song)

July 14 2006
There are circles in my head,
every one of them are full of lies and despair.
just wish they would go ahead,
go ahead and stop in their tracks.
I try to run around where they can't see,
but every turn i take they follow me.
I just want to be left alone,
from the thoughts within me.
Just want to get away,
and leave these circles for the race.
Now that i tell you this,
the thoughts have slowed down just to embrace.
every where i go they just seem to be there waiting for me,
waiting for me to lose control
i try to tell them to go but they don't listen to me.
its like a nightmare come to life,
as i lay in my bed and dream the scary thougths within
i wake up just to find
myself in the middle the race.
THE race against time.
THE race against anxiety.
THE race to wake up to happiness
and not to the dream that i despise that runs my ever being.

No Shool

June 01 2006
So I didn't go to school today. Basically i couldn't sleep last night until 3:45am. It's been a long time since i've been up that late. But yeah, I'm home right now just killing time before I have to go to work at 2. I need to make up some hours i missed on tuesday. Well other than that I'm out of news. so i'm gonna go, more like sit here and watch tv.