Meagan Wright


Relationship Status

In A Relationship


Too many to list!

Other Websites

Frustration. . .

February 21 2006

How frustrated can one person get? I thought I had traveled to the depths and back but no, today I've discovered yet another level.

I have tried SO hard not to believe my bubble of happiness would burst, however despite my best efforts, its definatley blown to bits.

Over something STUPID. Something that should have been nothing, that shouldn't have even involved me, but somehow, even though I didn't ASK to be involved at all, I come out the pond scum. At least thats how I'm treated. Its really tough to play second or third fiddle with someone who says that you are the love of their life. Really tough on the heart and confidence.

I only did what I thought was right, for myself and for all others involved. Sorry if that didn't go with the original plans however when I'm not involved or informed of those plans I can't be held accountable to abide by said plans. Sorry if I blew the lid off something but from my perspective there wasn't another option.

I just don't know what to do anymore, this is the first time I haven't reached out. I'm just not going to be the one who fights to make it right. It obviously didn't matter enough to settle it when it happened, or all day the next day, no effort. Therefore why should I put my neck and heart out there and risk rejection? I don't see a reason. "Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option." Very wise words, hard for me to abide by b/c I am such a fixer but I'm not giving in this time. I got left, I got pushed aside, I got ignored, all for trying to save everyone's butt. On something I wasn't even involved in too boot. UGH. HOW do I come out wrong?!?!?!  AHHHHHHHHHH. . . I could scream, I have in fact, twice today, out of nothing but sheer frustration, and hurt. I haven't cried over this, other than last night at being left, I haven't let myself. I had the purest of intentions at heart, that should count for something. You'd think someone who loves me would at least listen to my side. At least care about my feelings. You'd think fixing it would matter. But apparently not.

Now where does this leave me?

Jessica Jo

February 21 2006
I am actually sort of struggling with the same thing. And it hurts, it makes you mad, and it makes you want to cry. If that one person who supposedly loves you....uses you forget them. You deserve better. Why waste your time with someone like that when you can find someone who can actually appreciate you? Life is too short to be lived in sadness and pain but it should be lived in love and beauty. I know it's hard and I know because I'm a fixer too. But in life there are just some things you can't fix and there are some things that you just have to leave to the will of God. I'll be praying for you. Keep the faith and keep confidence in yourself because you know who you are and what you stand for. Nothing else should matter...

Carla Simpson

February 22 2006
baby i'm sorry!!! i'm also sorry i missed your IM - if you ever need to talk, i don't care what time it is, CALL ME!!!! i mean it!!! i love you!