July 18 2006

So generally...we all know I'm not a blogger.  Take a look.  I haven't blogged since christmas and none of my blogs have been more than like 5 words.  Actually 4.  Sad, but true.  The truth is, I don't blog because I typically don't feel like I have anything to say to anyone that I haven't already said.  Or what I have to say is not something I want you people to know.  No offense.  Well, now I finally have something I want to say to everyone because I am so excited about it.  I recently finished the book "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller.  When I finished, I felt like the 500 pounds I have been carrying around for so many years were lifted.  I'm not gonna try to give you my favorite quotes from the book because I would just be basically copying and pasting at least 75% of it, and let's face it.  You can go buy it yourself.  I just want to say that I am so glad I read it because there are so many things that so many people have always made me feel guilty about feeling, in regards to christianity.  And it's like God gave me the urge to read this book I don't know anything about because I was letting everybody else convict me of things I was allowed to feel.  God wants me to question him.  I am allowed to doubt.  True belief cannot come until you have raised the question "But does it really exist?  What if it's not true?"  Disbelief makes you realize why you believe the things you believe.  It becomes personal and not just philosophy.  To be honest, I feel Jesus removed all the dirt from my eyes that either I had placed there or that others had put there for me.  I can see better and that feels good.  I'm not going to go into it, but the person who is reading it now is the person who needs to read it the most.  And I can already feel the winds changing.  I have an excitement built up in me that I can't explain.  And when he is done, I will pass it on to someone else so that God can use it to lift their load, whatever it may be, as well.  I am forever greatful to God for Donald Miller, and when I get to heaven, maybe we'll have a meet and greet luncheon and I can find him and we can talk.  And that's all I have to say about that.

Carla Simpson

July 19 2006
laaaaaaaaaal! really?? i wanna read it next! we should do dinner maybe saturday or sunday or monday?? :)