Lonely Tuesdays

November 08 2005

Hey guys-

I'm just sitting here bored...with an hour and forty minutes before my next class.  I just got my history paper back...solid B+ without corrections...so that made me feel a little better cuz I didn't have much to fix.  I still have math to work on tonight...plus work...which I'm sure will be a blast.

  I got sick last night and had to leave work early.  Lindsay came and got me and brought me some medicine and a coke and took me back to her house.  She cooked me totally awesome french toast and we worked on homework while her mom watched The Notebook on my laptop. I mean just something that small really hit me hard...because outside of my family I've never had anybody that would do anything like that for me...and I just don't know what to say...I love here more than life itself...She completes me.  I didn't really get much work done but the way I was feeling I didn't care.  It was like the only thing that made me feel better at all was being with her...holding her. It was like I was just aching for her touch...just to hold my hand...anything at all.  I don't think I could live without her..she's like air..like oxygen...I don't just like her...I love her...I don't just want to be with her..I NEED to be with her.

I NEED to be with her for the rest of my life and I don't care who knows it. I just...I dunno..I miss her a lot right now. I should probably be working on math problems but I just can't concentrate.  One more day til I get to see her. 

I picked up an apartment guide out of sheer boredom yesterday. I don't really know why. It's not like I can afford a place right now anyway. I really wish I had a car because I found some really good deals on places in Fountain City, but I'll cross that birdge when I come to it. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.  I'd rather have a little house to share with my baby than a tiny apartment and live by myself.  Anyway...I'm just gonna get off here and curl up and take a nap before class.  Later.


More insights into my life

November 04 2005

Wow..I blog on here a lot more than on Myspace.

So once again here I sit...Lindsay just left, so now I'm sad..til tomorrow when i get to see her again.  I don't know what it is, but when I'm with her it's like nothing matters anymore...none of my problems bother me...and for just that brief moment in time we are the only two people on the planet and everything is alright.  I honestly think that she's the one..and yeah we've talked about getting married and stuff...and truthfully if I thought we could make it financially I'd marry her tomorrow...but I know we can't, so I'm actually trying to save money.  I know it's not like we're getting married next month or something like that, but I know every little bit that I can save now will help in the long run....its just hard right now with school and all cuz we're both not working a lot and well you get the idea.  Just pray for us.

I love her with everything I am... and I think that she deserves the best...so maybe that's why I feel like I have to get her things all the time..and yeah it's gonna take some adjusting to not being able to get her as much or take her out as much cuz we're trying to save money...I dunno...I guess I feel like a cheapskate because I was always taught that the guy should pay for everything, so that's what I try to do.

I really don't know where I'm going with this.  I'm sleepy and I miss Lindsay...there...that's the bottom line.  Good night.

venting about family stuff

November 03 2005

Well here I sit...I finally finished that godforsaken history paper.  I never want to hear the names Peter Abelard or Anselm of Bec again...Thankfully I don't have to write another history paper til the final, so now here I sit watching Ten Things I Hate About You.  Too bad I can't watch it with my honey...I really miss Linds right now.

I can't wait for thanksgiving break..then I get FIVE count 'em FIVE uninterrupted days with the love of my life.  Hopefully my mom won't mess it up like she does most holidays.  She's already been calling and making plans and trying to plan something every day that we're there.  She just doesn't get that sometimes I don't want to do ANYTHING...I just wanna sit at home and relax a little.  I don't know...Things haven't exactly been wonderful between us, and I don't want to be one of those horrible sons that never goes to see his mother but God knows she hasn't made it easy.  I've been here for a year and a half and she hasn't come to visit me once...then she complains about me not coming to see her...knowing that I don't have a car.  She knows where I am and if she wanted to see me bad enough she could come over here...and it's not like I haven't made an effort....a while back she decided she was pissed at me about something and the TWO times I did try to come see her she didn't even speak to me..she just sat there and stared and acted like I wasn't there.  God only knows what horrible things she told the rest of the family about me...I really don't care what that side thinks though.  It would be a lot easier if we could actually have a conversation without her yelling at me for no reason. I mean you can only kick a dog so many times before the dog won't come around anymore.  She just says that that's how she expresses herself.  Well this is how I express myself.  I'm not in any big hurry to come and visit...however the only good memory I have since they have moved is that I was over there the first time I talked to Lindsay.  I hate to be an ass but I've tried to make an effort to fix things and talk them out with her but if she doesn't yell at me the whole time and not let me speak at all she starts to cry and lay a guilt trip on me and make me feel like shit..and it usually works.  I don't know anymore....maybe it will all work out one day but I'm not holding my breath.


November 03 2005

Well....here I am....

For starters, my name's Jason, I'm a Sophomore at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, I have the most absolutely amazing girlfriend in the whole entire world (I love you Lindsay!), I'm a Christian, I was saved last Thursday night, actually.  I love my church, I love our youth group...and I love music...I can't really think of much now so I'll update later.  I'm working on a history paper right now (anybody know anything about 11th century theology?)  Right now I'm just bored and missing Linds like crazy, trying to ignore the tv so I can maybe get some work done.  I get to see her tomorrow though, and I can't wait.  I just hope I can get this done so we can actually hang out and I won't have to work on anything.  Oh well..wish me luck.