Relationship Status






Favorite Music

3 Doors Down, 3-6 Mafia, 50 Cent, The 88, 112, 311, 504 Boys, 10000 Maniacs, Ace of Base, Akon, AAR, Alphaville, Amanda Perez, Andre Nickatina, Angie Martinez, Anneliese Van Der Pol, Aqua, Arctic Monkeys, Armor for Sleep, Ashlee Simpson, ATC, Atreyu, Avril Lavigne, B5, Baby Bash, Backstreet Boys, Bad Company, Barlow Girls, Basement Jaxx, Ben Folds Five, Benny Benassi, Benzino, The Beta Band, Beyonce, Billy Talent, Bionic Jive, Black Eyed Peas, Blessid Union Of Souls, Blink 182, Bobby Valentino, Bosson, Bow Wow, Bowling For Soup, Breaking Benjamin, Brooks & Dunn, C And C Music Factory, Cher, Chevelle, Chicago, Chris Brown, Christina Aguilera, Circa Survive, City High, The Click Five, COLD PLAY, Collective Soul, Common, Cowboy Troy, Cranberries, Crazy Town, Crazy Frog, Crime Mobb, Crossfade, Crystal Method, D4L, D12, Da Rude, Daft Punk, DMB, Days of The New, Death Cab for Cutie, Deep Blue Something, Default, Dem Franchize Boyz, Destiny's Child, DHT, Dishwalla, Disturbed, DMX, Doves, Duran Duran, Eagles, Emimen, Emmylou Harris, Enya, Eric Prydz, Eurythmics, Evanescence, Eve 6, Everlast, Faith Evans, Fall Out Boy, Fantasia Barrino, Fastball, The Flaming Lips, Foo Fighters, Fountains of Wayne, Frankie J, Fuel, Game, Gavin DeGraw, Godsmack, Goo Goo Dolls, Good Charlotte, Gorillaz, Green Day, Gustavo Santaolalla, Guster, Gym Class Heroes, Hans Zimmer, Happy Hardcore Techno, Hawthorne Heights, Hellogoodbye, Hilary Duff, HIM, Hoku, Hole, Hoobastank, I Am The Avalanche, Ice Cube, J-Kwon, Janet Jackson, Jay Z, Jem, Jennifer Lopez, Jesse McCartney, Jewel, Jimi Hendrix, Jo Jo, John Lennon, Kanye West, KC & The Sunshine Band, Keane, Keith Anderson, Keith Urban, Kelly Clarkson, Keyshia Cole, The Killers, Kirk Franklin, La Bouche, The La's, Laava, Laleh, Lamb, Lazyboy, Leanne Rimes, Led Zeppelin, Letter to Cleo, Life House, Lil Jon, Lil Scrappy, Linkin Park, Lio, Live, Love Spit Love, Ludacris, Lyfe Jennings, Lynard Skynard, Maddness, Madonna, Marcy PLayground, Mariah Carey, Mario, Maroon 5, Massari, Melanie C, Michael Bolton, Michael Jackson, Michelle Branch, Mount Sims, Muzik, My Chemical Romance, Mylo, N.E.R.D., N.O.R.E., Nas, Natalie, Natasha Bedingfield, Ne-Yo, Nelly, Nelly Furtado, Nena, Nick Cannon, Nickleback, Nina Gordon, Nivea, Nore, O-Zone, The O'Jays, The Offspring, Omarion, Our Lady Peace, Ozomatli, Papa Roach, Paul Simon, Pearl Jam, Pepper, Petey Pablo, Phantom Planet, Ppharell, The Postal Service, Pretty Ricky, Prodigy, Pussy Cat Dolls, Raje Shwari Ft Timberland, Ray J, Reactor, Reggie and the Full Effect, Relient K, All The Rent Soundtracks, Rihanna, Rise Against, Robbie Williams, Rockwell, Rod Stewart, The Roots, Ryan Cabera, Ryan Huston, Salt n Peppa, Samantha Mumba, Samantha Ronson, Sara Evans, Sarah Brightman, Seal, Sean Paul, Seether, September, The Servant, Seven Mary Three, Shakira, Sheryl Crow, Sic Transit Gloria, Simon Webb, Simple Plan, Skat Man, Smile Empty Soul, Snow Patrol, Stabbing Westward, Staind, Stars, Stroke 9, Styles P, Sublime, Sugarbabes, Sugar Cult, Sum 41, Superchic, Supertramp, Switchfoot, T Pain, Tatu, Technotronic, Third Eye Blind, Thirteen Senses, Three Days Grace, Toad The Wet Sprocket, Toby Mac, TOK, Toni Braxton, Tonic, Tony Yayo, Trick Daddy, Tirk Turner, Twelve Girls Band, Tyrese, UB40, The Used, Vengaboys, Vertical Horizon, Verve Pipe, Vitamin C, The Von Bondies, White Snake, White Stripe, The Who, Wisin Y Yandel, Wycelf Jean, Xavier Naidoo, Xzibit, These are just some of the people I like to listen to.... IF YOU THINK A SONG IS HOTT LET ME KNOW......


April 19 2006
motorcycle, Pual Van Dyke, Ian Van Dahl, DJ Encore, DJ GT, DJ Sammy, DJ Tiesto, OceanLab, Lasgo, and more... Just play it.


April 19 2006


April 19 2006
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

* . . About You . . *

April 15 2006

Eye Color:: Blue
Hair Color:: Brown
Height:: 510
Favorite Color:: Black
Favorite Band:: Hawthorne Heights
Favorite Movie:: 10 Things I Hate About You
Favorite Show:: Law & Order
Your Car:: A DREAM
Your Hometown:: Norwich
Your Present Town:: Cbury
Your Crushes First Name:: Steven
Your Grade:: 12
Your Style:: Punk Emo Preppy

* . . Have You Ever . . *

Sat on your rooftop?: Yes
Kissed someone in the rain?: Yes
Danced in a public place?: Yes
Smiled for no reason?: Yes
Laughed so hard you cried?: Yes Most Def
Peed your pants after age 8?: No
Written a song?: No
Sang to someone for no reason?: Yupp
Performed on a stage?: Oh Yea
Talked to someone you don't know?: DUH yeah
Gone out of your way to befriend someone?: Not that I do remember
Made out in a theatre?: Yes
Gone roller skating since 8th grade?: Yes
Been in love?: Yes

* . . Who was the last person to . . *

Say HI to you?: um ben
Tell you, I love you?: SOME ONE WHO LIED TO ME
Kiss you?: a kiss i regret
Hug you?: carrie
Tell you BYE?: Courtney
Write you a note?: uhhh I dont know
Take your photo?: Sarah
Call your cell phone?: Karlee
Buy you something?: um I dont know
Go with you to the movies?: Karlee
Sing to you?: yea a joke
Write a poem about you?: No I dont know ever
Text message you?: Nick
Touch you?: In what way lol

* . . What's the last . . *

Time you laughed?: Today during the Teen Dating movie
Time you cried?: Monday
Movie you watched?: 10 Things I Hate About You
Joke you told?: Today
Song you've sang?: Today
Time you've looked at the clock?: Right Now
Drink you've had?: Coffee Milk
Number you've dialed?: home
Book you've read?: Lord of The Flies
Food you've eaten?: Breakfest Sandwich
Flavor of gum chewed?: um I dont remember
Shoes you've worn?: AE Clogs
Store you've been in?: Walmart
Thing you've said?: ok

* . . Can You . . *

Write with both hands?: Yeah Right
Whistle?: Yupp
Blow a bubble?: No sad kinda now that I have my tongue pierced
Roll your tounge in a circle?: yupp
Cross your eyes?: yes
Touch your tounge to your nose?: No
Dance?: Yupp
Gleek?: Nope
Stay up a whole night without sleep?: Depends
Speak a different language?: NO a lil
Impersonate someone?: yes
Prank call people?: no how old am I?
Make a card pyramid?: no
Cook anything?: yupp my dinner

* . . Finish The Line . . *

If I were a ...: Rich Boy I would buy a new car
I wish ...: I could hold ben in my arms right now
So many people don't know that ...: I HATE THEM
I am ...: Gay

LIFE is to short to fuck around!!!!

April 15 2006
Life's just like a treadmill. No matter how fast you go or how hard you try, you'll sometimes never get anywhere. It's like riding a fast rollercoaster blindfold. There will be ups && downs && you won't know when there will be sharp turns. You won't know when it'll even end... Life's like a book. Every page is a mystery... but you're the one in charge of the pen. When things go wrong, know that life is an hour glass. Sooner or later the sand hits rock bottom, but all you have to do is be patient and wait for someone to just turn everything around... It's like walking in snow. Be careful with the steps you take... because every footprint will show. Making a mistake dosen't matter. What matters is how determined you are to fix it. But remember, a mistake is a like writing on a foggy window, No matter how hard you try to cover it up, if you look close enough, it's always there. Some things in life are unexplainable; if you can explain them... you don't fully understand what they are... So live every day as it was your last, because one of these days, it will be. We were made for a purpose, so if you aren't yourself, then, well, that whole purpose is lost..

"Love Works Is So Many Ways"

April 15 2006
What is love? Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, and is your voice caught within your chest? it isnt LOVE, it's like. You can't keep your eyes or hands off them? it isn't LOVE its lust. Are you proud, and eager to show them off? It isn't LOVE, its pride. Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand? It isn't LOVE, its low confindence. Do you stay for their confessions of love because they don't want to hurt them? It isnt LOVE, its pity. Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat? It isn't LOVE, its infatuation. Do you pardon their faults because you care about them? It isn't LOVE, it's friendship. Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of? It isn't LOVE, it's a lie. Are you willing to give all your favorite things for their sake? It isnt LOVE, it's charity. Dose your heart ache and break when they're sad? THEN iTS LOVE... Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong? THEN iTS LOVE... Do you see their true heart and love it so deeply it hurts? THEN iTS LOVE... Do you stay because a blinding mix of emotions pulls you close and holds you there? THEN iTS LOVE... Do you accept their faults because they're are part of who they are? THEN iTS LOVE... Would you give them your heart, your life, your death? THEN iTS LOVE... Why do we love? Why is it all we search for in love? Why is it something we live for? The answer is so simple because iTS LOVE...

What is sexy? Sexy is standing in the rain, pushing me up against the hood of your car, kissing me with the intent to never stop. What is cute? Cute is young and inexperienced. Cute is holding hands and kissing at every red light. What is passion? Passion is knowing what you want, and stopping at nothing until you get it. Passion is putting your heart in all that you do. What is beautiful? Beautiful is all about the inside of a person. Beauty can only be found in the heart. What is love? Love is the amazing balance of all these things; in your mind, heart, body and soul…

Promise me.... That’s all I want. Just a promise that you will never forget me. Tell me I changed you somehow. Let me know that I had an impact on your life. Promise me that you will always remember me. Please, losing you was hard enough, but I don't want to go on knowing I meant absolutely nothing to you.

One day, I want to be the "you" in all those over-used quotes on your profile. One day, I want to count the little stars and have it add up to my name. One day, I want you to end every conversation with "I love you" or "Never leave me." And I wouldn't, leave you that is. It's only fair. After all the effort I've put in to finding the perfect quote to describe the exact emotion you put in my head, don't I deserve someone to do the same for me? Underneath all the "I'm glad I didn't die before I met you" s and the "The truth is I've never fallen so hard" s, there's a little girl, who wishes she could just take your hand and run away. I want to stand up on my tippy toes and kiss you gently on the cheek. I want your hand to reach down and push a lock of hair behind my ear. I want you to hold me, and cherish me, and love me. And only me. But, I know "I'm not your star" this time around. So here goes another day of away messages revolving around such topics as "The only broken hearted loser you'll ever need" and "I'm sick of writing every song about you". But you'll never know that "you" really is you. And your "you" will never be me.

Turn Ons And Offs...

April 15 2006
DC = Don't Care

Rides a skateboard: DC

Dresses like a surfer: on

Dresses in all black: DC

Dresses nicely: DC

Plays a musical instrument: on

Sings songs: on

Is taller than you: on

has chapped lips: DC

Has brown eyes: DC

Has hazel eyes: DC

Has Blue eyes: on

Has Green eyes: on

has short hair: on

has no hair: DC

Drinks: DC

Smokes pot: off

smokes cigarettes: DC

has brown hair: ON

Has Black hair: ON

Has curly hair: ON

Has blonde hair: DC

Has long hair:DC

Works out: on

Smiles when you walk into the room: ONNN

Calls you just to say hi: ONNNN

Lets you know he was thinking about you: ON

Holds your hand: ON

Whispers in your ear: ON

Has facial hair: on

Wears makeup:OFF

Eyebrow piercing: DC

Lip piercing: DC

More than one ear piercing: on

Body Piercings: on

Has a birthmark: on

Talks dirty to you: on

Loves God: DC

Wants you to meet his family: DC

Doesnt party a lot: DC

Doesnt care about what ppl think about him: on

Believes in love at first sight: on

Loyal: ON

Laid back: ONNN

Rich: DC

WOW What Have I Been Doing...

April 15 2006
Where do I start? So I am no longer dealing with Stevens shit, he is now dating this guy and I supposedly threatened him, and if I do it again ill get hit by a car. Yeah fucking right like that will happen HAHAHAHA. Also I have been talking to Josh now for a month and a half and he is a great guy. He is one of those people when you talk to them all you do is smile. So I basically want to take this somewhere. But anyways my life has had its ups and downs in the past couple of weeks. I have been dealing with stuff from everything to my father to my mom to Steven to Josh to my friends and much more. I don't know what I should do. I am soon going to be out on my own in this world and I need to get so much straightened out before I want to leave for college. I am having serious problems at my house and I basically just need to have that person there for me and I don't know if I have that and if I do it would be nice to know. So like I am having this quite kind of distance between a lot of people in my life and I am only talking to those people I care about because I just don't care about all of this bullshit now. People can move on with their lives shit changes I know but I am one that is in the intertwined mess of my past and I just don't know how to let go of stuff and it just lingers in my head like this massive web of chaos. Does that make any sense I don't know. I love so many but I push them so far away with my actions. I only can be me and I don't know what that really is. I can't just sit down and look at my life like a movie I wish I could and edit what I wanted to edit. So school basically blows I am behind in my work and I can't do this again I had a really good first semester and I want to keep it that way. But I have all of this stress in my life and I don't know how I can't help myself. I don't know if I need someone to help me with it? So I must say that I miss having someone I can sit down and talk to. I wish I could sit down with the one I care about and spill my guts because it would make me feel better yet I don't know what he is thinking and I am afraid. I have that problem of thinking too much and it always seems to be what's on my mind 24/7 these days. LOL!!!

So Basically I have been around thinking about my past and how to break free from it and move on I have bigger and better things out there to help me with my future. I don't need my past pulling me down.


Being Gay is Bad To Some People See What Can Happen...

April 15 2006
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. (yes, this actually happened)

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

I am the gay male student that had to switch to another high school on my senior year, because I told my teachers that I was gay. One said that I was going to hell the other wanted to cure me.

So I Think i'm Pissed

April 04 2006
So basically i found out the reason why the guy i liked basically fucked me over...
"i cant look at him like hes human because he fucked me over hardcore because hes selfish and it was hard to deal with us and he thinks nothing is wrong with that"
Sorry is Five Letters but so is FUCK U... so i basically wanna say that i am giving up on this shit and its not worth it anymore. Im walking out this time, and i hope i dont have to deal with this bullshit anylonger.
"So were back to "This is it" Because. Thats what it feels like. If you cant have me as a boyfirend, you dont want to see me at all. I dont know what to do know. Do I hit the X and close you out of my life. I cant do that. It would hurt the both of us. I dont know what to do"

ill do it for you [X] (click) BYE!!!