February 07 2006
Life is a bit crazy at the moment. Everything that I used to be so sure of I now find my self questioning, and all of the things I used to question I seem to have figured out. There are certain things in my life that I thought would never change but I have been proven wrong many times in the past couple of months. I am working on being a better person (ha-ha doesn't everyone always say that?). I have be trying really hard lately. I am actually trying to distance myself from the people who I know have a negative influence on me. I have known that I needed to do this for some time now but I was too stubborn to actually do it. Its been a hard task. In Sunday school two or three weeks ago, Pastor Dan was talking about just this very thing. It kind of gave me confirmation that I am really do what I am supposed to. I have plenty of friends that I am very close with but they are no Christians and the influence they have on my life is not that great. Its hard to distance myself from some of them because we have such a close bond and we are always there for each other. I am not going to cut them out of my life completely but there are going to be some changes. Some people might read this and think I am crazy because I am usually the one deemed a bad influence on others. I have changed a lot and I hope everyone starts to realize.
I have been feeling quite positive lately. It's a nice change. I am still a little upset at the fact that everything has changed between me and the people from church. The people I used to talk to don't really talk to me anymore and if we do talk its the casual "Hi, how are you?" I miss knowing how they really are and what is going on in their lives. Then there are the people who I was never really friends with but I always wanted to be close to. I think they find me immature and heathen like so I don't put the effort forth to get to know them. I don't like rejection, but then again I suppose no one does.
Well on to a subject that is a bit less depressing for me. I am finally in school! Its about time i know. I am going to Draughon's Jr. College for Business Management. One I am finished there I want to go to MTSU for Marketing and Advertising. Its great to be back in school. I decided to work on all of the scotomas I have regarding school... its going good so far. So far a have gotten A's on all of my assignments so that's good. I actually just got back one of my papers I wrote for English entitled "incessant Worries". It was about all of the health problems i had a couple of years back where I was passing out and stuff. I made a 100! I was so shocked. I thought my teacher had made a mistake but he didn't. I am a good student when I want to be so I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. He said it was excellent, there were no corrections to be made and he wouldn't have changed anything. So I am happy about that of course.
Well I suppose I should work on some of my homework because i have class in the morning.