You Know your Church of Christ if......

September 23 2006
You know you're a Church of Christ if...

1.You have a relative, friend, or mentor at Harding.
2.You know what Fort God and Six Flags over Jesus is.
3.Your bible comes equipped with your birthday, name in gold, and date of baptism.
4.What do you mean instruments in worship?
5.You have a religious experience every time you drive through Corinth, Mississippi.
6.Your bible is in your purse (book bag).
7.Your write both your birthdays in someone’s planner.
8.You have a poster of Jeff Walling.
9.You have a crush on Jeff Walling’s son, Taylor.
10.Three words… Sex Ed Classes.
11.Keith Lancaster doesn’t scare you anymore.
12.You stand next to a hot guy incase you have to huga huga friend huga friend next to ya.
13.M.A. kids automatically get into heaven.
14.You believe your cookie is going to hell because it was sprinkled not submerged.
15.Your ‘‘what I did last summer essay” involves Mexican children or building houses.
16.All your cloths are from old navy or GAP.
17.You wear Birkenstocks year round.
18.Bikini is not in your vocabulary.
19.15+ hour bus trips are a way of life.
20.You have a home-schooled friend that doesn’t bug you.
21.You married someone you grew up with.
22.Retreat romances are not uncommon.
23.You actually like C.S. Lewis.
24.Grits isn’t a breakfast food.
25.You know what the Bison is.
26.You sing “Roll the gospel chariot along’’ and put teachers names in the devil verse
27.Yes, vegetables can talk…. And sing!
28.When Jehovah’s witness’ come to your home and ask you if you have “found Jesus”, you come to the door naked and say “No I haven’t, why don’t you come on in and help me look for him?”
29.Instead of playing homemaker, you played communion
30.You marry before you get out of Harding
31.Dissfellowship is your worst fear
32.Your Sunday lunch motto is ‘’Beat the Baptist’’
33. Your daily ponder is “I wonder what the theme for Impact is for this year…”
34.Your brothers are named after apostles
35.The closest you get to dancing is when you sing “you have turned my mourning into dancing!’’
36.The girls always win “Satan was defeated!”
37.Music leads to dancing and dancing leads to making babies!!
38.You still haven’t been kissed and you are going on 25.
39.What happens at Impact stays at Impact
40.Instead of saying ‘Crap!’ you say ‘Snap!’
41.For Christmas you get the New Testament on CD BABY!
42.Instead of Saying OH MY GOD! You say “Oh My Stars”
43.You listen to Josh Groban… and enjoy it.
44.You own at least one shirt with a bible verse on it.
45.You are, have been, or are going to be in a “social club”.
46.You own Harding or Lipscomb apparel.
47.You can complete this sentence… “THREE SWINGS AND A ______”
48.You have skipped chapel before.
49. You know who Neal Pryor is…
50.Your mom went to Harding.
51.Your dad went to Lipscomb.
52.And your brother went to Abilene Christian.
53.YOU ARE IN DEBT…. Because of Harding.
54.You have a relative that lives in Texas.
55.You have been to a “ring ceremony”.
56.You are engaged, and you’re only 22.
57.You get laughed at when you explain you’re future college… and all its rules.
58.You get laughed at more when you explain what a dry county is.
59.You are well educated in BET, but you haven’t seen MTV in years.
60.You have cracked open a wedding magazine… on more than one occasion.
61. You know or love a Rieder.
62.You can finish this sentence: Zeta Rho, date a ___.
63.Your weekend consists of an edited movie in the Benson and sneaking to Heber to two-step.
64.Over half of your friends are married or engaged...and you're a sophomore in college.
65.You threw at least 2 wedding showers for girls on your hall freshman year of college.
66.Your college is fondly known as "The Marriage Factory."
67.You know what happens when you go under the bell tower...alone...and you take alternate routes to avoid it...
68. You grew up thinking contribution was part of the Lord's Supper.
69. You get a letter to your elders because you pushed satan in the water with your hips. (apparently that is down right dirty...)
70.Every church you've attended was named after the city or the road it was on.
71.You know the 1st, 2nd and 4th verses to nearly every song in the book.
72.You were 18 years old before you knew that "guardguideanddirectus" was not one word.
73.You know exactly what song I'm talking about when I ask you to turn to number 728b.
74.You can read shape notes.
75.You immediately reach for your wallet when you hear the phrase, "Now, separate and apart from the Lord's Supper..."
76.When asked to bring a symbol of your religion to elementary school, you brought a casseroll.
77.You always carry an extra mint or a piece of gum for "after communion"
78.You have no idea what "mixed/co-ed swimming" is.
79.If deciphering Elizabethan voice in English literature / Shakespeare is no problem from years of reading the KJV . . .
80. You have to sample every type of fried chicken at a pot luck, even the kind with broken glass in it that you were 'warned' not to try.
81.The boys think they win satan was defeted... but they are too cool to really shout loud.
82.fraternization leads to fornication, and fornication leads to FIRE!
83.if your hands (not the rest of your body) have ever been blessed for preparing the meal.
84.You know you're a church of Christ if you're appalled at the fact that the local baptist church sent you a flyer for their college ministry because you know...they use music there. know your church of christ if you've seen Princess Bride... that's classic CoC
86.You know you're a Church of Christ if you can quote Acts 2:38.
87.You know you're "a Church of Christ" if you adamantly believe that the name of this group should scripturally be, "You know you're a member of the church of Christ if . . ."
88. if you grew up as playing babptism as one of your pool games.
89.You know youre a member of the Church of Christ when on any given Sunday there's at least one license plate from Arkansas or Texas...and you live in Massachusetts.
90.You know you're from the Church of Christ if you use "Freed" as a noun, not a verb... or if York is a really small college, not a really big mint.
91.If you're 20 years old and you still have someone making sure you are in your room by 11:30!'ve been told "that's my pew" by someone older than your grandmother
93.If you think "progressive" refers to those in the church who want a sound system and PowerPoint.
94.If you think the Bible questions on Jeopardy are way too easy.
95.If you've been to a wedding or a funeral where "the invitation" was offered
96.You get excited when you see that this list might actually make it to 100.
97.You dont join the group because you are afraid of being the 666 member...
98.You're about to tell a friend at church about the new Casting Crowns cd you got, but then the oldest elder at your church sits down in the pew behind you and you say, "I'll tell you later."
99. If your hat is taken by an elder if you wear past the youth-room doors becauase it is a sin everywhere else in the building to where a hat, unless your girl and it is Sunday morning, then you are praised for it.
100. If some part of the building has stain glass real or plastic, and lots of plastic ivy plants to spice up the stage on Sundays..
101. Clapping is considered an instrument, therefore it must be a sin when the elders are around.
102.You don't have to ask where Lubbuck, Abilene, York, Searcy, or Henderson are.
103.You know you're a church of Christ kid if you've been to church camp and/or Winterfest every year since you could speak. Maybe even before then.
104.if your granddaddy was an elder, your dad is an elder, your uncle is an elder, and your brother is scared.
105.if you know what the Boston Movement is and you quickly refute any connection to it.
106.if your younger sister is commenting on Swiss cheese and you break out in "Holy, Holy, Holy"
107.if you're counting on that CoC scholarship at Pepperdine (hoping its not legendary)
108.if you pray for your Christian friends to "get baptized" instead of "get saved"
109.if you're indignant with the advent of gauchos, capris and bermuda shorts--had they come along sooner, they would have made summer camp dress code SO much easier!
110.if you've sat on the front row on Sunday morning because it's cool.
111.if "lock-in" is synonymous with "evangelism"
112.if your parents go nuts when you visit a non-denominational church
113. I dont care if you go to UT or University of Alabama... State schools are the devil. So in conclusion... COME TO HARDING!
114.if AVB rocks your socks off!
115.Left Behind is a strange Baptist teaching.'ve never heard Psalms 147, 149, or 150 read in church.
117. you Go to a CoC college 8 hours away from home only to find out all your Profs. already know who you are (because they're related to people in your church).
118.You know what its like to wear a swimsuit, a (DARK!!!) t-shirt, and (DARK) knee-length shorts in the water (and shoes, where applicable).
119.You've seen someone baptized twice in one instance because someone said they thought they saw an unsubmerged body part.
120. you get a buzz from drinking non-alcoholic beer.
121. if you feel guilty for ordering a virgin strawberry daquiri.
122.if your church refused to hold a wedding because they wanted music and dancing at the reception.
123.if you church has a tape of the Wedding March being sung by the Harding chorus to play at weddings
124.If you haven't been allowed to read a scripture in class b/c you don't have the right version.
125.If you hear the steps to salvation atleast once in EVERY sermon!!!!
126.If you were taught to side-hug members of the opposite sex instead of front-hug
127.When shaking someone's hand, you also grab their forearm or pat them on the right shoulder know the meaning of the phrases "ring by spring" or "get your m.r.s. degree."
129. Freed is just too awesome to be mentioned on this list. They are the best church of christ school ever...
130. After any baptism, you pause comfortably and look around before you clap to make certain that you're not the only one.
131.If all the old people thinks it's a sin to have a Gym, so they refer to it as the, "MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM"
132.If you have to warn visitors of what they can and can't do.
133.If you think going to church Sunday Morning, Sunday Night, and Wednesday Night = Heaven
134.if you have heard Jeff Walling give the same sermon at different events with a few years in between.
135.if you've ever had to wait around at church because there was a "men's business meeting"
136.if you grew up worrying about the salvation of your baptist friends
137.if you've lied to your grandparents about where you go to church
138.if the highlight of your summer is the midnight hike at camp
139.if you have a preference towards one kind of communion cracker over another
140.if you know about the "Mabee Challenge"
141.if you show off about your "celebrity sighting" after Acappella comes to your house
142.if you plan on teaching your children with flannel boards
143.if you have practiced the time-keeping hand motions while singing to yourself in the car
144.if you have been told that Pepperdine is "So liberal that they might not be a part of the brotherhood any more"
145.if you know who Jack Zorn is.
146.if you have ever "competed" in Lads to Leaders and Leaderettes
147.You have never seen the first half of the Super Bowl.
148.You think grape juice was served at the last supper on the list...
149.If you are familiar with the phrase: "Hello, I'm Steve conclusion, come to Lipscomb."
150.if you've grown up hearing the CoC referred to as "The Lord's Church" or "THE Church" a kid you didnt go to the bathroom before church, so that you could walk out in front of everyone and fell important.
152.You know you're a CoCer if you have bets on which youth group couples will get married first. honestly believe that "Harding Bisons" is correcty grammar.
154.If you know what the "Lipscomb bubble" is... were involved in the theater program in college and you spent days searching for a play to direct that wasn't too risque...
156.If your church has an Amen corner...
157.If dancing is questionable unless you are singing "when they put my name on the roll!"
158.You have personal knowledge of how Cecil May acquired his nickname, "The Diesel."
159.You have seen and personally been offended or walked out on the "Jesus Painter."
160.You either love or hate Frank Chesser.
161.You know someone named Jedidiah.
162.Were shunned because you chose to "jump" social clubs.
163.Have taken Kenneth Randolph to boost your GPA.
164.You sign all letters, e-mails, love notes, and Facebook messages 'In Him' or 'With Christian Love'."
165.You tell an Elder a lightbulb needs to be changed and he screams 'CHANGE?!!?'."
166.You've seen someone pitch a song with a tuning fork.
167.Movie clips are not allowed to be shown if they have background music in them.
168.You've been to and laughed at all the litttle inside jokes.
169.You've been to the above website and stopped it to read the part about women song leaders in more detail.
170.when you see a ball of yarn, you know tears will be involved
171. you thought ebon pinion was a person
172.if you've ever pondered how a Lad can end up as a Leaderette...


September 23 2006

Meagan McCann

September 23 2006
thats hilarious! I have one on assemblies of God... (i am AOG) and its really funny too

Rachel Hughey

September 25 2006
Wow! Those are really funny..and so true.. funny b/c they're true and hence But u must have had a lot of spare time on your hands to write that much!