What's your biggest fear?

That this entire world is some cosmic joke being played on me to see if I would accept Kosmihumorism. Kosmihumorism is the belief that all existence in this universe is simply made up for the sake of fooling and confusing me (I am the only thing that exists here, of course) until I accept Kosmihumorism. The catch is that this world is designed to confuse me by pushing philosophies and religions which make hints to or distracts from Kosmihumorism. If I accept it, then I am free. But if I don't, then I have hope and am trapped in this maddening world.

Why have you hated the idea of an online relationship?
Personally, I know that people get hurt and are imperfect. We humans are not so resiliant so as to not feel torn or hated or unloved. It is our nature as emotional creatures to feel these very things, to be aware of our thoughts and pitfalls and other people. (barring the problem of other minds, of course) Knowing this, how might I communicate my love, my care, my patience, and my protection unless I am right there, face to face with her? Or if she is hurt, how might I hold her, or simply hug her? Those are impossibilities. All that can be given are words and thoughts. Mere expressions of feeling and delight, insight and empathy.

Certainly, I thought, these would not be enough. However, knowing what I have just stated, I found myself wanting to protect, to hold, and to just sit patiently with her. How maddening to have a mediator of a electronic phone! My hope and expectation is that I will see her soon, though not soon enough. I know that it is hard on me, and I bet it is hard on her. And that's what I get for being in an online relationship with a girl ... who means so much to me. Paradox.