you try to tell your feet to stay put
but the sky keeps reining you in
stretching air-thin
so float cloud-charged over the dead city
where steel people throw their hands up
for what the weather might bring
and we are the twice-striking lightning
fighting for a return to flesh mode
without the culture-biting whitening

flying past the easy anomaly
that traps most seekers with thoughts
of color-blind teachers and
infinitely attentive students: analogy

it's not that simple
it's more simple and human
than numbers and tones
people live in binary code
and never get to three
there's no eye left to see
i'm living post-free post-me
sending unmarked gifts
care of your eyes packaged pre-

catch us in a child's cheek
as smiles wrinkle time in hell
and twice we come crashing down
to thunderous ovations of our own making

little kids covering their ears because the truth is a loud foreign noise bad men telling good boys about the dangers of kite-flying on a night such as this so they leave copper keys locked in hearts forbade exposure lest another male sense sensitivity on such an epic level

a feminine step; fairies skip
between our heavens
lost in unburdened bliss
not until you're dead though
and ready to scorch the earth; you made
your immoral bed on these past decades
blind the blind before they fall in skip
bleed for me and we'll consider the application
hurt like her and we'll acknowledge the fire

die like this
this...and this love
learns to live burns and mistrusts
the brief judgement from the skies

a metaphor supreme
and the whole world a simile for a dream
meant to get foggy
shunning mental memory
too short-lived for what our bodies recall
and what our spirits are still called

it's waiting somewhere for all of us converting stuck feet to static charges in the stratosphere against the greater necropolitan area - a forward march - an all out attack with war drums and battle lightnings storming globalized gates and stock-optioned automatons to win back young minds that have no idea of the power residing inside the space we're spread amongst -

slice my tongue
and let the words drip down
to stain the the sword soft

crush my feet
in this mindless stampede
to stay stupid on the ground

tear out a floating heart
and squeeze the juice over
party-purchased plastic flowers

cause everyone needs to grow green
and dry their eyes of shame

we are the twice-striking lightning
beating the drum
that brings
the rain

THIS IS SO ANNOYING!!!
WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GO AWAY!?!

so that's pretty cool
too bad that will never happen again...

so i watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit? last night
because it's the only movie i have with a stereotypical yankee investigator
hmm...

after bragging about how i never get sick, i just happen to become afflicted with the 24-hour flu. funfun. i don't think i've ever felt so bad in my life.
i did, however, catch up on the past month's worth of sleep, and watched a few movies. like the addams family. i haven't seen that movie since it was in theaters...ah, there's a strange beauty in the macabre.
so anyways, back to school today. and i got to eat! that was exciting, until i got a stomach ache. it kinda went downhill from there.
and tonight is the blackman game. i'll probably go, if i feel up to it. we'll see.

*edit*
HOLY FREAKING CRAP!!!
is the world coming to an end?!
is Jesus on his way back?!
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?!

So it appears as though EVERYONE i've ever known suddenly decided to up and marry each other. seriously. i want to be happy for all of them, but i'm having trouble comprehending the magnitude of the situation. it was hard enough with the first one. now there's four. FOUR. and all of this within 2 WEEKS!

...
*brain explodes*

Life is GRAND!!
[it's strange how quickly it bettered]

Life is...
...kinda good...

Is this everything, I've dreamed of so much more
Between the end and where we lie
Here all hopes and dreams are scavenged from the floor
And fed into machines that feed on vacant eyes
All of my dreams always find me
Far beyond these fake fluorescent skies
I know there must be something more, if I could only find the door
Then I could free myself and see the world outside
     Where daylight breaks on you and shines into the
     Grey that sleeps beneath your skull
     Daylight breaks on you and burns away the
     Grey that suffocates your soul
For now I hold a key, and though I may be lost
I know that I will find my way
I search endlessly but every time I've thought
That I was near the smoke and mirrors lead me astray
See the pit boss, steal each tick tock
Time it seems will suffer at our hands
I look for exits in the haze, the dense electric twilit maze
I've heard that there is one that leads to sunlit lands
     Where daylight breaks on you and shines into the
     Grey that sleeps beneath your skull
     Daylight breaks on you and burns away the
     Grey that suffocates your soul
Daylight, they tell me that it's just a myth
They try to betray me with a kiss
Daylight, they tell me that it can't exist
They might never know just what they missed
As daylight pours fire into my
Grey eyes pour grace into my
Grey life breaks in and lights the
Way I can't live without the day

so, that last post was from the movie A Hard Day's Night [the Beatles movie]

so i don't really feel like posting anything important now. and i actually have some work that i have to do [fancy that, having to do work when i'm at school. man, the times sure are changing...]

"Look at him, he's filthy rich!"
"I don't know, he looks like a rather clean old man to me."

"Ooooh, Britannia, Britannia rules the *SPLASH!*"
"Looks like he got torpedoed again."

Your life's crashing down all around you,
Let me ask if it's really so bad.
Look at the world in it's suffering-
Can you honestly tell me that
No one else could understand
All of the hurting inside?

Why can't you see
That freedom is sometimes just simply
Another perspective away?
Who could you be?
If your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same?

A young child looks through a great stained glass window,
Watching the people go by.
Everyone seems to be wearing a red coat
His mother sees jackets in white.
Now he can't understand-
Why does she see it this way?

Why can't you see
That freedom is sometimes just simply
Another perspective away?
Who could you be?
If your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same?

Yesterday, you really couldn't see-
By changing your angle a new world would be
Revealed to your once blinded
Eyes by moving a few degrees.

Why can't you see
That freedom is sometimes just simply
Another perspective away?
Who could you be?
If your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same?

i don't know what to think anymore

i guess i made my mistake after all
and i don't regret it
not in the least

it felt like i was living a dream i would never wake up from
before i knew it, the dream was all over...

Is to crash and burn and then return again,
To practice the life that I pretend
Provides enough to get me through the weekend

so me and life are on good terms again.
for now...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature,and complete, not lacking anything.

-James 1:2-4


[i'm trying to believe it...]

of course, it could be better
but then again, it always could
and what's the use of complaining about it?
what will it ever gain you?

so i'm not going to focus on what i don't have
but on all the wonderful things that i do
[and that's a great many things]
it makes life so much more enjoyable

praise God
i love you all

-cameron

I think I've figured out why hugging loved ones feels so wonderful-
it's the closest that two beating hearts can get to each other.

i'm at school. no fun.

oh well
i saw 5 shooting stars last night.
within 30 minutes
it was pretty darn cool.

it's easy to start
difficult to end
and impossible to forget